Your only son, The Prince, is the most capable leader of warriors in the land, does his best to make good decisions, make friends with people your nation normally has tensions, has the heart of the people with him, and loves his lands. However he says he is in love with his loyal prize mare and refuses to marry anyone else. He's totally open about it, despite the vassals giving a solitary snicker every time he brings it up, no one really want to stop him but they still try to show their elegable daughters (some even tried to put them in "hoof shoes" as a semi-joke)
What do you do, Your Grace?
It is to be expected, I suppose. I was once a stallion, born wild and fell in love with a woman. I did bid a spirit to transform me into a man, so that I might win her heart. I did, and won a kingdom in the chase. There is always a price to these things.
I will bid my son to take his love to the depths of the wild, to seek the same spirit. If he returns, I will have a daughter or the woods will have a new son.
>>47687206
Ask the Prince to work with me. Maybe he can find love with a beautiful mare who belongs to one of our enemies with no children. Thus bring peace to both relms
>>47687206
Get my court Wizard to polymorph a princess into a mare
Surely nothing can go wrong with this
>>47687321
But horses don't live in the woods. They live on open plains and grasslands
>>47687206
Take him aside that his mare might be his one and only true love, but that he needs to sire an heir with a human woman to keep the royal line going, so he should just grit his teeth and do the deed.
Now go marry a woman and make me a grandson already.
Secretly arrange for the horse to be killed and made to look like an accident or natural causes.
>>47687462
He asks you why he can't just half a half horse kid, and neither of you know shit about biology
>>47687482
If he can point to someone else who has successfully had a half horse kid, he can try. But if he doesn't give me a grandson within three years of trying, he's marrying a princess, and that's final. I will not risk a succession war.
He can still see his horse on the side in any event.
>>47687482
I'd tell him it's impossible.Why does he think I settled for his mother? I already tried that route.
>>47687482
Let him try then, I'll meet him halfway. He gets a few years to try to father a child with the horse. If nothing results, then he has to try with a woman.
Why can't we turn the mare into a woman?
>>47687506
That's super gay anon. Why would you ruin a perfectly good horse like that?
>>47687521
He's still riding it, just in a different place.
>>47687493
Well I mean the peasants tend to have long faces and look at what they do to sheep
Butcher the horse while forcing him to watch. This isn't a god damn game. We have a kingdom to run and a bloodline to continue.
>>47687506
Like the time we turned the pig into a human to find out from her, who killed the bard, it's just not a good idea.
>>47687532
But your grace, the mare is a quality breed! Its line has produced some of the best destiers in the nation, why your own steed is a cousin of your son's mare. To throw it away would seem silly, though your son seems pretty protective of her in rutting season, so I don't think she will see any stallions soon
>>47687206
>Listen, you spoiled little shit. I don't care whether you're fucking your horse. But being royalty means responsibility. The royal family needs an heir to maintain stability of the kingdom. Get me an heir of your blood, and i'll turn a blind eye to your horsefuckery.
>>47687526
>Losing horse pussy
Whatever you queer
Plus, you you want him to lose out on riding it into battle, why not instead turn him into a centaur? That way his children will also be Centaurs you you can have a future line of Royal Centaur Kings
>>47687532
No need to go that far. Just NTR him with a male horse and force him to watch.
>>47687575
Your Grace, that is an awful fetish and I wouldn't wish that upon even our most vile tratiors. Hell even I like your son too much for that
>>47687591
Too bad, a deal's a deal!
I'll act accepting of the situation and even allow him to marry his horse at a grand ceremony. No expenses spared and everything is wonderful. Then right before they are officially married in the ceremony, have him rushed and put in a stockade facing and forcing him to watch. Then bring in the biggest, roughest war stallions to fuck the mare over and over unrelenting. Force him to watch as she is bred, and only let him go when it is known that she is pregnant.
Repeat as many times as necessary, while giving him the offspring to care for and raise.
>>47687206
Do any of the local ladies or princesses have a strong back and a long face? Maybe if we have them cut their hair into mohawks we can meet him half way
>>47687666
Nice trips satan
Your grace this is why you already had 3 assasination attempts. Also if you did that you'd break your son's mind and ruin the kingdom
>>47687699
Ha ha! The solution is simple, once he is mind broken, just have a suitable lady father a child with him, by force if need be, and continue from there.
>>47687666
>666
>NTR
>It was at that moment, the King pinged as Evil to every Paladin within a 100 kilometer radius
>>47687712
Your grace, you know I'm the bishop right? Don't make me call the pope on your ass
>>47687521
It is, to say, a perfectly good dinner too.
>>47687727
Head scribe, send the Pope a letter with a pretty sum, and tell him I need a new Bishop!
>>47687749
I'm telling your son bro. He's going to run off to one of his fiefs with her. Also I'm telling the pope on you
>>47687369
I'd polymorph the horse into a princess. Nothing that can go wrong there, either.
If that fails, start sending appeals to the centaur kingdom and see if they have an unmarried daughter and a need for alliance.
And if THAT fails, polymorph the prince into a horse and a horse into the prince. Hopefully my new horse-son will be into chicks and my son-horse can be with his mare to form a royal succession of horses from which I can resurrect my lineage with a polymorph spell if necessary.
>>47687770
Not if you don't leave the castle. Guards! Bring me this horsefucking enabler's head!
Also send the Pope a letter that he was caught in the act of sodomy and also had seditious heathen materials in his pre irate quarters.
Couldn't you polymorph your grandson and son back into humans after he's born?
>>47687799
The paladins are already coming, you can kill me but your son will free our lands! Also that stainglass isn't too strong and the fall is fairly short, l8r senpai
>>47687749
>>47687712
>>47687799
>>47687666
>Absolutely Hapsburg.jpg
>>47687790
>I'd polymorph the horse into a princess. Nothing that can go wrong there, either.
You'd have a Horse in a human body. I don't think you fully understand all the problems and implications involved in putting a near wild warhorse into the body of a chick
>>47687206
That depends; is the mare JRHNBR?
>>47687836
But the Hapsburgs were good catholics
>>47687836
>I don't think you fully understand all the problems and implications involved in putting a near wild warhorse into the body of a chick
Just means she'll start rubbing her crotch against the Prince and prefer getting fucked from behind.
As long as she can pump out heirs, it's fine. You could even give her some Intelligence-enhancing spells to get her reasonably intelligent!
>>47687848
>>47687848
This.
The prince already knows the way to fuck a horse, it woul probably be easier this way then if we had him fuck a woman with a womans mind
>>47687835
You had me at "You can kill me."
Guards, I also want his skull dipped in lead and placed in the chapel. It will make a fine reliquary.
Now, back to the matter of NTRing my son! Head scribe, send for the greatest NTR experts in the land, we've business to attend!
>>47687836
>You'd have a Horse in a human body. I don't think you fully understand all the problems and implications involved in putting a near wild warhorse into the body of a chick
Nothing an Awaken spell can't fix.
>>47687873
Paige! Send a dispatch to the learnered NTR scholars of R'nienkay at once!
>>47687873
Your majesty! I have dire news! You see, your head scribe... IS REALLY A HORSE!
>Pulls off human shaped mask off of head scribe to reveal a goat
Well shit, this is awkward.
>>47687873
My lord, he just jumped through the window, and our crossbow guy is on cofee break. Also some templars at the door want to talk to you. Should I let them in?
>>47687892
Good, good. I seek the finest NTRmancer that money can buy!
>>47687896
You know this might be why the all the barons laugh at us
>>47687896
Excellent! Head goat! Stall the Templars at the door, I have personal matters to attend.
>>47687902
Fetch me the crossbowman's coffee and crossbow, I'm going Bishop hunting myself! No need to prepare a horse, I'll follow him out the window.
>>47687873
Too bad, your request has been intercepted by the Holy Inquisition!
NTR is a most terrible and grievous sin, thus your rule shall be over thrown, all your assets turned over to the next legal heir, and you will be tortured until proper confession and penance is achieved, with a pending duration as we perform an "investigation" to determine any other crimes you have committed against the holy church.
Do not beg us for mercy
Do not beg us for forgiveness
You cannot torque-us-ada anything.
>>47687206
Either work hard to cultivate an attraction to people or secretly pay a theurge/wizard/sorcerer/whatever the fuck because my setting doesn't have a difference to either change his sexuality or change his horse into a woman.
It's for the good of the dynasty. If we weren't nobles, I'd just wait for him to eventually grow past it.
>>47687206
Sigh and hope he develops an interest in human girls.
At least he's not a massive faggot like OP.
>>47687948
How wonderful! I've been looking for a reason to break with the faith and create my own church! I'll see to that right after I have the Bishop's head.
For simplicities sake, I'll probably name the Church after the country.
>>47687206
How is this any different from that copypasta where the royal princess is a lesbian?
>>47687964
When Henry the fatass did it he alread had people who disliked the church, you don't
>>47687968
Because dykes are gross and terrible
>>47687957
Or, duh, go with the more obvious option and arrange for the horse to die in an "accident."
What the fuck was I thinking.
>>47687964
It'll be kinda hard to form a church while your being tied to a wheel and hot plates are being shoved under your fingernails
Please do not resist. We got a bunch of Teutons with itchy sword hands waiting for an excuse to go on a crusade. Heck, we had to convince them a while back to hold off attacking some random Slavs just to bring them
Your sleezy good for nothing second born son is a womanizer and a drinker, with his only merit and skill being a mastery of speech craft which he uses to weedle out of responsibility, get favors he never pays back, and generally be a total asshole and appeaser of the worst kind.
The commoners hate him (especially the fathers of peasant girls), but the nobles and aristocracy absolutely adore him. Far more than your first born. All because he knows the right things to say and actually promises to "marry a decent woman (some day), like a man ought to"
There's a growing plot among the aristocracy and nobility to have your first born killed and put him next in line.
>>47687964
My lord, litterally every one of your vassals is going to kick your ass if they know you are doing it with NTR
Also we kinda need the church
>>47687968
Because we can't have lgbt and tumblr pushing their gay agenda here.
But horse-fucking has been acceptable practice since Loki disguised himself as a female horse, got fucked and impregnated by a stallion, carried the resulting offspring to term, and gave birth to an eight-legged monster horse and never spoke of any of it again.
>>47688014
The answer is simple, marry off the second born, wait for him to get the noble girl preggers, have him die due to an "unforeseen accident", thus under the inheritance laws the 1st born will inherit his estate, including custody of his wife and child.
It's perfect!
>>47688048
That actually works, I'll get the bishop back to marry our future king to his wife once the second son dies.
Would it be satisfactory to have oats at the wedding feast?
>>47688048
Until your firstborn son claims the chance spawn of his prized Mare (and another Stallion) as his "rightful heir", calling it his own blood and flesh
>>47688105
The Prince wouldn't let his love mate with a stallion, you know that and the clergy have taken the NTR mad man out
>>47688048
>>47688120
He'd only inherit custody/marry the widow of his brother if he himself isn't married.
What if he decides to marry horse?
>>47688182
Have the clergy tell him the horse isn't of age or something
>>47687948
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnF1OtP2Svk
1 Turn the prince into a stallion to impregnate mare for the first week or two of their honeymoon
2- Turn the Mares first male colt into a baby after its weened
Problem solved
>>47688298
Solving the problems of sexual deviancy and royal lines of succession with a few well-place polymorph and awaken spells.
It becomes suddenly clear to me why most royals keep a court wizard on staff.
>>47687666
I see you learned the art of Fatherhood from the very best.
>>47687206
Cut the mare's head off with my axe and send the body off to be made into glue. Give the glue to my son as a present.
>>47687206
Send for my spymaster, tell him to have the horse killed, and to make it look like an accident.
I was on /d/ fapping to weird shit and decided to check out /tg/ for a bit.
Did... did I get summoned by this thread? Is that what happened? Am I a /d/ oracle or something now?
My Liege, the NTR specialist has arrived; >>47688430.
>>47687206
Probably dismiss his tutors, who by now should have made it clear to him that a king marries to secure power and nobody cares who or what they spend their time fucking.
Plot twist: His mare is actually an emissary sent from the Horse Kingdom, who are considering an invasion with their vastly superior magic and technology. He was unable to convince her that the kingdom had any merit at all and turned to a desperate, last ditch effort to seduce her and hold her as a hostage against the invasion.
>>47687435
quit it with the fuckin facts, larry
>>47687321
I love this board
>>47687321
Literally the plot of Shrek 2.
Let him fuck the horse all he wants, we are fucking Celts and we'll eat the horse after he's done anyways.
>>47687206
>The mare's name is actually the name of the blacksmith's daughter
>Literally everyone else is confused and the prince doesn't understand why
>Blacksmith's daughter doesn't care, too happy taking royal dick whenever he goes to get 'new horseshoes'
>>47687206
Exile and stripping him of all ties to succession is the only solution
>>47687836
Also the fact that turning a horse into a human doesn't automatically give her a title and land claims. The princess of what? The stable?! All you've done is turned an animal into a human. He should marry someone who would better cement allies to kingdom.
>>47687206
Two spells of polymorph later, my son and his new bride stand poised to usher an era of centaur dominance into the kingdom's future.
>>47687206
hire Wizard to permanently turn mare into human woman
>>47689292
>permanately
for what purpose
>>47687206
Awaken the mind of the mare. Tell son that if the intelligent mare falls in love with him they can wed. If it doesn't, he has to marry an actual princess. Assuming it falls for him, polymorph the intelligent mare into a human to breed for 9 months, since she will probably want to bear his human children. Then if he really wants the horse pussy, polymorph it back whenever she needs a break from continuing the lineage.
Also, make more children with your wife, or if she's dead, marry again(you can always use more political leverage). Really, the fact that your main son isn't going to secure any really big relations is something many monarchs have dealt with. Make more princes and princesses. Succession won't be a problem since the horsefucker prince is way older and better liked and you're going to die within the next 10 or so years.
If you're sterile and can't produce more heirs, have the intelligent horse be a baby factory and get a legitimate heir who doesn't want to fuck horses so you can be assured that the horsefucking king won't be the only hope of the kingdom.
If magic doesn't exist force him to do what every gay king in history has done. Breed for the sake of the kingdom. If he won't do even that much for his future kingdom, then imprison the mare as a hostage for him to produce a legitimate heir before releasing him.
If he still refuses, kill the mare. If that doesn't work, adopt a new heir since you son is a madman.
>>47688447
Good, we won't have to hunt him down now. Bring the executioner and prepare a cell for him. His head will roll the next morning.
Slaughter the mare and use its blood to irrigate the land, for it is the will of the gods
He will understand
>>47687206
I tell him he has top tier taste in women.
