Why did the paladin fall?The moral ground was too slippery!
Why was the monk fired from McDonald's?He served a McFlurry of blows!
GURPS
I have a few gnome jokes... but I feel they'd fall short.
A dwarf, an orc and a barmaid were walking along a forest road when they came to a bridge crossing a wide river. Unfortunately, the bridge had been recently destroyed during a goblin raid.
Not wishing to risk wading the quick current, they were about to turn around when the dwarf spotted a nearby dock with a small dinghy tied to it.
Elated at the prospect of getting to cross the river before the day ended, the party made their way to the pier, only to realize that the jetty was a lot higher than the water level, and there was no way to climb down to the boat safely.
To their relief, there was a simple hand-cranked boat winch and some rope attached to the dock. All that was required was a little effort, and the boat would be able to be hoisted up.
The dwarf tied hooks to each piece of rope and after a few tries managed to hook the boat.
"Now then", the dwarf said to the orc. "Tie these other ends to the winch and help me get the boat up."
The orc did as he was told, but at that moment, the frayed old rope tying the vessel to the dock broke, causing the boat to drift away and the poor barmaid to be dragged under the waves, never to be seen again.
>>47686941
This is everything I'd ever hoped /tg/ would become.
It's fantastic.
>>47686941
What do you call a ranger without an animal companion?A virgin
>>47687567
Jokes on you, this isn't /tg/It's a mimic
>>47687646
*nobleman_laughing.jpg*
>>47687502
Aww, I spit out my rum and coke..
>>47687722
I love how it's not Friday and we're already a bunch of worthless drunks.
>>47687759
I work retail. Wednesday/Thursday is my weekend. Also, it's 10:30p where I'm at.
Though that doesn't discount my being a worthless drunk; just on my days off.
Here's an old Kobold joke.
What's the best thing about twenty one year old dead gnomes?There's twenty of them!
>>47687921
You're not worthless, you're average.
Cheers to you anon. Here's a glass in your honor.
according to which, when, in John 8:1–11, Christ says to those who want to stone the woman taken in adultery, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone!” he is immediately hit by a stone, and then shouts back: “Mother! I asked you to stay at home!”
>>47687502
I don't get it
An Inquisitor takes his Acolyte/Lover to have an operation and then talks after the operation to the doctor. First the good news, the doctor says, your acolyte will survive and she will even live longer than you. Then, what’s the bad news? The doctor says, the bad news is, you know, there are some problems. As the result of the operation, she will no longer be able to control her anal muscles so there will be excrement dripping all the time. And there will be some strange fluid escaping from her vagina so no sex. Of the course, the Inquisitor gets more and more into a panic. My Emperor. You know what the doctor does then?
He taps the Inquisitor on the shoulder and says, oh no, this was just a joke, everything is okay…she died during the operation.
>>47687502
is the joke that the orc tired the ropes to the wench instead of the winch?
>>47688200
The joke is your shouldn't trust orcs cause they're dirty and dumb
>>47688261
Like nigger's!
>>47688285
Now you're getting it brother!
>>47688354
except I believe race is a construct of the unemployed mind?
A drow ranger, a dwarf warrior and a human paladin walk to in a bar... how's that for racial equality?
How do you know there's a bard with drums at the door? He doesn't know when to come in.
What stopped the half-orc hitting the floor? The rope around his neck!
>>47686941
Evert race has different ways to help identify themselves, through names.
Humans use their father's name.
Dwarves use their clan's name.
Elves have four names.
Halflings have a dozen names or so.
As for orcs, they use their mother's name.
>>47688123
winch vs wench.
Why was the wizard's eyes wet?
He spent all day in his room scrying.
>>47688099
darn Catholics...I love 'em
>>47688261
It's okay to laugh. It's God's joke.
>>47688099
This joke is strong
>>47687631
How many paladins does it take to change a candle?2. One to hold the candle, one to uphold the light.
>>47689170
>What stopped the half-orc hitting the floor? The rope around his neck!
These are all pretty lame.
>>47693320
>How do you stop a half-elf from drowning?
>You don't!
>How do you make a dead gnome float?
>Two scoops of dead gnome, two scoops of icecream.
>How do you stop a group of Dwarfs raping a chick?
>Throw them an axe.
>How do you get Elves out the trees?
>Cut the ropes.
>>47687631
I don't get it
>>47693947
Probably better that you don't.
Works better with druids anyways.
>>47693904
What is more fragile than elven spine?Human's ego.
>>47693965
Now I get it.
>>47693986
>Their armor!
>>47693523
You're pretty lame
>>47694022
>They're armorwarforged. warforged are armor
>>47686941
>Why did the paladin fall?He went down a slippery slope
>>47694706
>The Rogue pushed him.
>>47687631
Top kek
What do you call a Halfling rogue?
a thief
What do you call a human Cleric?
A Paladin
What do you call an Elf Rapist?An Orc
>>47693904
>How do you get Elves out the trees?
>Cut the ropes.
>>47694706
>Why did the paladin fall?He got too close to the edge
>>47695080
Why doesn't the hunter get any packages?Because he shot the messenger.
>>47695072
Nice
>>47693904
>>47692762
Underrated
Two gnolls are eating lunch. "Man i hate my brother" says the first. "Well just have the salad instead" says the other.
Why did the halflings laugh when they ran through the meadow?
Because they're balls were tickled by the grass.
How many pixies does it take to screw in a lightbulb.Only two, but how the hell did they get in there?
>>47696218
>he doesn't keep pixies in jars to light up his tower
>>47694688
>They're
>As in THEY ARE
>THEY ARE ARMOR
HA
>>47696185
>Two Gnolls sitting on a tree.
>One says this other, does this Gnome taste funny to you?
