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What are some essential things every wizard should have in their lair or place of residence?
The wizard
A chained up warrior to make fun of.
Hidden exit.
Windows.
MC Escher room. Never know when you might need one.
>>47682412
Rape dungeon.
He doesn't even use it or cares about its overly sexual inhabitants, it's there simply for aesthetical reasons.
>>47682412
>Alchemical apparatus to brew strange potions
>Large amounts of paper to make scrolls with
>Various shelves and cabinets of different assorted reagents and components.
>Large bookshelves filled with dusty tomes of arcane knowledge.
>Summoning room covered in large summoning circles.
>A comfy desk and chair to read at.
>A scrying orb or pool.
>A good kettle and stock of tea.
>Golems or other similar constructs to help protect or move things.
>Floating candles.
>Apprentices to boss around and teach a magical lesson to at the expense of their well being.
>Some sort of garden to gather components and reagents from.
>Some magical mechanisms to keep peasants away, like mouths that alert the wizard to intruders, or a real door vs a mimic door.
>Strange incenses being burned.
>A nice place to keep the Familiar.
I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of any.
>>47682412An apprentice, preferably a lewd elf or whatever other magical realm you're into.
>>47683596
>aesthetic purposes
>implying it isn't for tax reasons
1. install sex dungeon in a basement
2. install a special door that goes right down to the sex basement so you don't have to deal with it in your regular magic basements, put up some signs so people notice it
3. summon a few succubi/incubi, confine them to sex dungeon with magic circles (be sure to draw the circles first)
4. open new brothel of sins, let the demons run it however they like, you can forget about it now and just let them do their thing
5. go to the local lord, remove tower from registry as a research institution and register it as a "charitable brothel"
5.5. Some lords might try and send people to make sure your tower is a brothel and not just a big tower with a brothel in the basement. In this case, you can cast invisibility on the tower or bribe the succubi to show the mooks a good time (and let them go after). Either works.
6. land taxes go down, because who wants to be the noble known to his subjects as the guy who wanted to tax a cheap brothel more than wizard towers?
>>47682412
Lots of candles over a human skull and a stuffed crocodile hanging from the ceiling.
