>Enter the dungeon
>All the monsters are chained
>>47682215
You mean, like, they're all tied up, or they're somehow psychically linked in tandem so if one of them lands an attack they all get to hit you together?
>>47682215Are there orcs and hobgoblins?
Are they naked?
>>47683341
i like the way this anon thinks
>>47682215
I cast Heat Metal
>>47682273
I imagine tied up
In response, i'd probably just immediately cast every perception spell in existence.
I'm not a very trusting person
>>47682215
Most Bullshit Premise i have seen...ever.
it makes logical sense: someone keeps bad monsters here.
but, we get XP for the challenge.
and,
there are better places to have sex if you are some ingrate who wants to fuck monsters.
also, why dungeon? monster-girls usually are intent on moving into your dorms...etc....and they are far better sex than out-of-the-manual monsters. and i'm not saying Nymph Dryad. ANY monster.
>>47682215
>the dungeon is actually a prison that is guarded by a powerful spirit in charge of making sure that the supernatural baddies of ages past don't break free
>there is no warden to take control of the prison, so it just scares everyone away by psionicly attacking anyone who gets near the prison
>one party member actually decides to become the warden, binding himself to the prison spirit
>this is generally seen as a bad move, since the player is known to be batshit crazy, and no one wants a batshit crazy person in charge of a prison full of the worlds evilest creatures that even other evil creatures say that they might just be a little too evil
>>47683593
DM smiles and says, "all chains fall off, your casting seems to have freed them. roll initiative please"
>>47682215
Well yeah, it is a dungeon after all
>>47683770
What are you even talking about.
>>47682215
So it's a dungeon for monsters, is what you're saying.
>>47683921
A world dominated by five year olds jacked on high fructose corn syrup, explaining to each other that corn can power an ocean liner from the halifax to the bahamas. From the iss to mars. From mars to subaru. It may and it can. But a specific corn is special. A specialized corn. Corn supreme. Corn squared then corn cubed. The corn with a badge. The other corns are heavily watched, toyed and controlled. The kidney rots unnoticed. Tinkered teeth, hd eyeballs and kevlar skin. Think of the future. We are a powerful race, uhh no. Face. Powerful face. We have personality. That is enough. My eyes arent for understanding, they are for hunting. What would a lawyer do for a cup of coffee? Defend an accused bean farm rapist. A butcher knows the cuts of poultry, but he never writes a book about wishbones. All is well and if someone ever asks you if you "would like fries with that?" Tell them you want a patatas.
>>47684062
This isn't normal shitposting, this is ADVANCED SHITPOSTING.
>>47683341Goblin boys...
>>47682215
Like shooting fish in a barrel...
>>47683533
>>47684218
There you are, human weakling...
Here to take advantage of a crippled lion, aren't you? Do your worst, you little coward! once I'm out of these binds, I will return the favor tenfold!!!
>>47684062
>>47682273
Probably tied up, it IS a dungeon after all!
>>47683887
Harry Dresden? What?
>>47682215
>Enter the donjon
>Walk in on the king and queen naked
>>47684653
My paladin oath forbids me from forcibly redeeming even the most handsome of orcs. I'd at least need to get you out of the chains first.
>>47684062
someone's been smoking the patatas
>>47685354
no, he's merely killing this shit fetish thread before it metastasizes. Let's talk about why D&D calls the location adventures happen at 'dungeons'.
>>47684218
Son of a bitch anon, did you think I needed more fetishes in my life? Now I need to add effeminate goblin boys to the list? Should I stick that next to my love of BDSM or just sort of tuck it under my desire to have wrestle sex with a giantess?
>>47685388
You're a victim of conditioning. Just punch yourself in the dick everytime you look at shotas and you'll be fine.
>>47685402
Thank you but no, not only would that only arouse me I've come around to be a degenerate. Just didn't think there would be more things I'd get into.
So /tg/, would you take advantage to enter their magical realms?
>>47684062
Rambling old guy? What the fuck are you doing outside of /ck/?
>>47684062
Look at the picture!
See the stars!
The part of bowls removed,
the master race Frankenstein radio controls,
the brain thoughts broadcasting radio,
the eyesight television,
the Frankenstein earphone radio,
the threshhold brainwash radio,
the latest new-skull reforming to contain all Frankenstein controls,
even in thin skulls of white-headed free males,
visible Frankenstein controls, the synthetic nerve radio directional
antenna loop.
Make copies for yourself. There is NO escape from this worst gangster
police state using all of the deadly gangster frankenstein controls.
In 1965, CIA gangster police beat me bloody, dragged me in chains from
Kennedy New York airport. Since then I hide in forced jobless poverty
isolated, alone in this ... house. The brazen deadly gangster police
spray me with poison nerve gas from automobile exhausts and even lawn
mowers. Deadly assaults even in my yard, with knives; even bricks and
stones; even deadly touch "tavid" or electric shock flashlights; even
remote electronically-controlled, around corners trajection of deadly
touch tarrantula spiders, or even bloody murder accidents---to shut me
up forever with a sneak undetectable extermination, even with trained
parrotting puppet assasins in maximum security insanity prison---for
writing these unforgivable TRUTHS.
Until my undetectible extermination, I, Francis E. Dec, Esq., 29 Maple
Avenue, Hampsted, NY, I stand alone against your mad, deadly,
world-wide conspiratorial gangster computer god Communism, with
wall-to-wall deadly gangster protection.
Now even YOU know I am a menace to your world-wide mad deadly
communist gangster computer god! Therefore I must go to extermination
before I am exterminated by this gangster computer god, concocted and
controlled, worst mongrel organized crime, murder incorporated,
gangster Communist government.
I hand you the secrets to save the entire human race and the entire
universe.
>>47685535
AROUND-THE-CORNER PROJECTION OF
TOUCH TARANTULA SPIDERS
>>47685535
Is this the foreverially delitized guy with words swapped out?
>>47685535
How would one go about making a setting based off of Francis E. Dec's rambling?
>>47685578
Paranoia+Unknown Armies, shaked not stirred?
>>47682321
Well, looks like she's boned.
>>47683887
>the dungeon is actually a prison
Isn't that sort of redundant?
>>47685657
What do you mean "redundant"? Isn't that what the actual dungeons were made for?
>>47685670
Yeah, which is why they're redundant. Dude basically said "the prison is actually a prison."
>>47685696
>Dude basically said "the prison is actually a prison."
It's true though. I mean, if you think about it.
>>47685696
More like "The prison is FINALY an actual prison".
Who puts all the monsters in chains and where can I submit an application?
>>47685726
please forward all applications to 71 Asylum Dr, Weston, WV 26452
>Roll a perception check
>Someone rolls a 20+
>You notice that none of the monsters are actually tied down, but the chains are tactically placed to appear restraining.
>If you attack now you might get the surprise round (OOC notify)
>>47683770
Jerk off before you start posting mate. We can tell half way you popped a stiff.
>>47683770
Chill out, buddy.
So it is this?
>>47683887
I know exactly what this is.
And I like it.
>>47682215
>>47686249
>>47683341
I get on my knees and preform fellatio onthe nearest 3, welcome to my magical realm.
>>47682215
Tied, you say? As in, 0 dexterity-tied?
Well thenhttp://archive.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/glossary&term=Glossary_dnd_coupdegrace&alpha=C
>>47685535
I like Emperor Norton, I found his depiction in Sandman to be touching
Perhaps we should... leave it be? Please?
Different trains of thought
>Party enters dungeon
>Finds it to be full of statues of monsters and adventurers
>The dungeon itself actually feeds off of magic energy, and this is the result of running dry
>They head in, prepping to fight a basilisk or gorgon
>If they cast spells, they stave off their own freezing, and excess energy escapes and begins to free something else nearby
>If they run out and don't make it out in time, they join the collection
Bonus cruelty
>The treasure at the end melts when exposed to magic
Other train
>The players find a dungeon prison full of chained creatures
>Some are massive uglies, some powerful mages, all very dangerous
>They can't actually undo most of the binds, as they're sealed with ancient and powerful magic
>Realize the creatures are all kept alive because the dungeon has a field of Sustenance
>Either find a way to copy it, take it with them leaving the inhabitants to rot, or use the dungeon as a base they never have to eat/drink in
>>47682215
Complication: all monsters are either (1-50) rust monsters or (51-100) kytons
>>47685535
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXCUenE0b5A
>>47691049
thank you for this
>>47682215
I ckeck map bcus walk in circle kek>>47682215
>>47685712
dammit
>>47693453
Classic
>>47684653
Well it's obviously blowjob time then.
Your move, greenskin.
>>47693516teeth
>>47693881
>Implying I don't want teeth.
What are you, some kind of faggot?
>go into the forest
>meet an elf
>he rapes you
And other strange tales
>>47682215
Turn 180 and walk right on out.
>>47683770
Dude, lay off the joint when posting.
>>47685387
Probably because the party is imprisoned by the GM's bullshit fetishes, the way /tg/ seems to run things.
>>47685388What was that? More? Ok.
>>47684865
> Perussuomalaisten hallituspolitiikka
>>47682215
>Historically accurate donjon.
>>47687674
Pawn, we took that quest at the job board, and we're going to finish it. Now get back to hitting both of the ones in this room with a single spell so that they'll break free and create a gigantic clusterfuck as we are forced to deal with two at once.
>>47685402
>anon now has a fetish for shota ballbusting
>>47685388
Anon, everyone knows you can only have four fetishes. Delete an older fetish to make room for this one.
>>47697665
WOLVES TRAVEL IN PACKS MILORD
