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>>47650613
>>47650613
Reminder that Lunestier is for pussies.
>>47650667
>>47650613
Ís Arcane magic truly 'limited' by the users imagination or is there an actual soft-cap somewhere? Box mentioned two threads ago that they only have minor gravity control powers, why is that? Is it, for example, impossible to use Arcane magic for telepathy? Spirit-walking?
>>47650710
>>47650613
Here have the latest version of pg 1 and 2
>Cleared up the language on this one specifically on how class taking works
>>47650756
Is the rich bitch going to come here?
>>47650613
I don't like how semesters work. It feels like I'm checking off classes instead of slowly progressing towards becoming a Hero.
>>47650667
I still don't like the physical feedback of mage armor since it's pretty unfair compared to others minions, be it necromancy or summoning.
>>47650792
Here >>47650818
>>47650818
I don't like you.
>>47650613
>Lunestier
>Arcane Magic x3
>Summoning Magic x3
>Tactics x3
>Magic Refinement
>Valerie Bluewood
>Allyce Westhold
>Crale Edwards
>Tennie Northbreed
>Suzette Highking
>The Great Hunt (every year)
>Security
>Bodyguard
Hopefully with my summoning magic and tactics I can basically become a general of my own magic army and I can use arcane magic to protect myself and support my army. After gradation my friends and I can go on quests to find treasures and lost knowledge and help protect peasants and kingdoms...for a price.
>>47650818
mage armor is stronger than necromancy and summoning, both ways if mage has army of summons or battle-mecha-armor near him you shoot the mage
>>47650707
There's nothing wrong with Lunestier. It's probably best place to learn magic.
>>47650667
>>47650792
And here's page two
>Combined Dungeneering into survival
>Added New Class for St. Flares
also the bit about semesters is optional if you don't like it don't follow it.
>>47650747
I've purposely left a lot of stuff vague so you can shape your character however you wish. As for the gravity thing I only said slight because I realized how insanely broken having control over what I consider to be one of the fundamental forces of the universe could be.
For now I'm going to say yes to spirit walking and telepathy but that might change when I finish the 6th school dlc
>>47650902
Lunestier is good for rote, boring, typical magic. All the new, interesting, varied fields of magic are elsewhere. Lunestier will never teach you things like Druidism and Blood Magic.
>>47650792
Hey Box, you said you using previous OCs as NPC? If you use Solomon Pinchote-Grassheart, I should tell you I decided to streamline his classes in Stealth and Ranged Combat into 2 points in Elemental Magic
Posting this again in case someone didn't see it
>>47650915
What's the deal with deities that are patrons for divine magic? Any details?
>>47650818
The point of Mage armor is that in theory it's the easiest of the three to do, it's also the most precise of the three being the only one you can control past just giving an order
also the semester thing is just kind of a test thing I'll remove it if people hate it
>>47650965
Like lore stuff?
>>47650985
Sure, but more importantly, do they interact with you somehow or are they just fluff? Stuff related to the divine magic in general seems kind of in the background.
>>47650957
Nevermind, with the new stuff I just may need to do a slight remake. Blue Magic is Tits
>>47650961
Genji, Bastion, Zenyatta.
Why are all the robots so chill in this game?
>>47650792
>>47650915
since blue magic is too good to leave out of my chimera build I'll update.
Alex
St.Flares
Druidism 3x, Unarmed combat 2x, blue magic 2x, survival, physical training, ki attunement
I'm not sure I can actually do this with Druidism but I plan to enhance my body to be a high spec war machine with horns and bear hands and stuff like that.
Kit (best companion), Chandara (third best companion), Kengan, duxix, malavyn.
I plan on having Kengan teach me some more Ki attunement stuff and duxix and malavyn teach me tactics. As for Kit and Chandara, I'm going to seduce them (also might try to seduce inas). Since I had to give up on stealth I think Chandara might be able to teach me the basics instead. Obviously I'll also teach them whatever I know about druidism if they're interested, I don't need a monopoly on cool bear arms and leopard feet and spiked tails.
I participate in the great hunt every year. I'll also do escort, security and bodyguard on my fifth year.
>>47651067
My true endgame is turning into a chimera with all kind of large scale monster parts. After a few decades of transforming myself slowly I might even give up on maintaining a human base and become 100% monster parts.
>>47651038
it sure is
>>47650933
>Demiplane: Area Increase 4 (size of Mars)
>Planar Features: Portals, Division, Transient, Protection 2, Assimilation (split into land of delightful manors and green gardens and land of whirlwinds and butt castles)
>Population: Population Increase 4
>Inhabitants: Attitude Adjustment. Culture & Customs, Pretty Population, Population Demographics, Population Longevity, Extrahuman Population, Metahuman Population (sophisticated European supermodels who are very friendly whimsical and carefree and don't gossip or backstab, and angels who are the opposite and are very organized and take things seriously)
>Technology: Technology Upgrade 2 (like Downton Abbey)
>Magic: Magic Upgrade 5 (angels are unbelievably cute, but have extremely powerful magic and could just as easily summon a beautiful bouquet of flowers as crack a planet in half)
>Society: Aesthetics, Wealthy, Infrastructure, Sanitation, Secure, Healthy (every girl has her own manor house and estate)
>Culture: Music, Theatre, Art, Literature, Sports, Alcohol, Sexual, Warfare, Nature, Food, and Festival Affinities (see general)
>Environment: Landscape Adjustment, Fertile, Rich, Exceptional Materials, Fauna & Flora 3 (wonderful green gardens and beautiful fragrant flowers with otherworldly colors, and dragons)
>Adventure: Theme (yuri, not 2D just cute girls doing cute things all the time and sometimes getting very lewd)
>Capital: Lifestyle Upgrade 1, Automatons 2, Influence 1 (brass clockwork humanoid automatons take care of everything but occasionally need wound up)
>Personal: Immortality, Spirit Walk, Shape Shift 1, Peak Condition, Teleportation, Nullification (can't die, can move around and get things done without getting tired, and get blonde hair and bigger boobs)
>Powers: Healing (can heal and bring back to life in case there's trouble)
>Companions: None because all the ladies in Sapphoshire are each others companions.
>Ascendance: Not worried about that.
>>47650929
>>47650707
I really like the idea of maxing out illusion and stealth to fuck with all the uptight students that would be at Lunestier.
>>47650613
>Name: Lady Anastasia of Evermount
>Gender: Female
>Lunestier
Daddy says the other schools are for the unwashed rabble. I don't know what that means.
>Arcane Magic x3
Mommy says a true noblewoman should never pick up a sword, but piercing enemies with spears of mana is fine.
>Magic Refinement x3
Daddy says it's a sin to waste good money and that mana too should be spend sparingly, especially when it's for the sake of the peasantry.
>Knowledge: Etiquette x2
Mommy says a proper lady has to follow a lot of rules so I guess I'll be learning them.
>Diplomacy x2
Daddy says I should learn how to skin the filth of a peasant with words. I don't really understand what he means.
>Allyce Westhold
Mommy says a good noble girl can only be friends with other noble girls.
>Farhat
... He's cute. Don't tell mommy or daddy he's my friend.
>Dax
Daddy says I should befriend Dax because he's the heir to something. He's nice.
>Eydak Northbreed
Mommy says I can't call him a fatty. Oops. Don't tell him I said that!
>Suzette Highking
Daddy gave me lots of jewelry when I told him Suzette was my bestie. I'm glad he likes her too.
>Y1: Basilisk Den
>Y2: Basilisk Den
>Y3: Basilisk Den, Battle Royale
>Y4: Basilisk Den, Battle Royale
>Y5: Basilisk Den, Bodyguard
I like playing with money and card games are fun too. Daddy was really proud when I told him how I took everyone's money but mommy was angry and said that was unladylike. I had fun though.
Daddy says that when I graduate I will live in a big, luxurious Tower in the middle of a city. It will be my job to "barrage" (I don't know what that means) the evil things with spells.
I really like being a Hero. It's easy, fun and I like blasting things with magic.
>>47651131
>Complications: Artifact (pink diamond where heart should be, if it gets captured then Lady Alice has weaker powers, if it's destroyed then she has none but it's terribly difficult to destroy, she would do almost anything to get it back if she lost it)
>General: Sapphoshire was created by Lady Alice St Claire de Lisle who lives in a large fairy-tale castle. She's a respected member of high society and the unofficial diplomat to other realms because of her healing magic and ability to control portals. Sapphoshire's the size of Mars and is split into two planes. This first is 100,000,000km^2 and is a green sunny world where the 40,000,000 sophisticated lesbian European women who are Sapphoshire's citizens live. The second plane is 50,000,000km^2 and is where Sapphoshire's 10,000,000 angels who look like super cute J-pop and K-pop idols with giant feathery white wings and elf ears live. It's a world of bright blue skies and cloud castles. Everyone is immortal, but only angels are magical. The ladies of Sapphoshire each have their own Manor House and estate that is maintained by automated humanoid clockwork robots. The ladies travel by flying dragons from place to place and dragon racing is the official sport. Going to the theater, drinking and partying, and frolicking in their gardens are the pastimes of Sapphoshire girls. Angels take care of security and settle disagreements between the ladies. Friendly wizards may visit Sapphoshire if they please. Most of the time the weather is like a sunny spring day. But sometimes the weather can be rainy and melancholy, or windy and cool like fall, or cold and snowy. There are no seasons and the weather has no particular patterns except that spring days are most common. Sapphoshire girls love art. Paintings and statues of the female form are highly praised. They are also fans of plays and poems.
>>47651160
>These are mostly love stories, but can also be about brave angels or epic dragon races. While the girls are partying, automatons are cleaning, fixing, and preparing everything for them so they have no worries. The angels are like opposites of the ladies and have very serious attitudes and professional no-nonsense demeanors. Only angels have magic and warfare affinity. Sapphoshire has a yuri theme so all the ladies are constantly being cute. Its citizens are super polite, refined, and reserved most of the time, but every once in awhile an extra wild party breaks down into extreme lewdness. Sapphoshire's assimilation causes anyone who visits to be subconsciously drawn into the carefree party lifestyle and to have thoughts and dreams that are yuri themed. Women visitors in particular may find themselves falling for the sexy sophisticated charms of the Sapphoshire girls. Sapphoshire is most famous in other realms for its etiquette school. Young women from all across the magical realms can go there to be trained to be proper ladies. It became famous in other realms after the renowned muscle-wizard Armstrong attended and became the first man to graduate from it. While he was there, Armstrong also founded a gym that's run by Megalodonian amazons who teach muscle-magic. It has also gained some notoriety as a place for members of the council to send women criminal prisoners to be trained to behave properly.
>>47650710
>malavyn
I would call him a gary stu but then I remembered he was a manlet ;^)
Hello my friends at the cyoa general here on /tg/ I am making the cyoa now for the first time and would like for you to see it and tell me how it works out I will post again in a short while and will post the cyoa as well.
>>47651181
desu I don't know what good it would do to be the realm's best tactician if he can never win.
>>47650961
Tracer, Zenyatta, Reinhardt.
>>47650961
>D.Va
>Winston
>Merci
Gaming qt, sick scientist bro and sick doctor bra.
Try to find a better combo
protip: you can't
>>47651156
Not sure if a parody or if you're trying to trigger the adventurers.
>>47651160
>Sapphoshire
Aw shit nigga! I remember you from the Magical Realm General days. How ya been you crazy lesbo?
>>47650961
Tracer. That's all I need
>>47651275
>adventurers
rat-meat-eaters
>>47651275
St. Flare adventurer here. She's cool. I find the innocent daddy's girl who doesn't know much beyond her estate to be kinda cute.
Much cuter and nicer than snobbish and ugly ojou-sama cows
>>47650915
>Blue magic
So now the Flares can gain the skills of a goblin testicle before they boil it and eat it? Hilarious.
>>47651285
Almost positive that it's not her.
>>47651342
You sure do like thinking about goblin testicles.
>>47651240
this
>>47651160
>https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Magical_Realm_Cyoa/Sapphoshire
>>47651342
you can keep laughing until I use my Teraflare to destroy you rich boy estate and all your property.
>>47651378
It comes to mind naturally when thinking about Flares and their eating habits.
>>47651355
It's either her or someone copying it from the wiki. Either way it seems like a creepy if pleasant place I guess. If you're into something that weird and detailed.
>>47651342
Shut up Rin, go back to pleasuring old men for money and crystals. Afterall, if there's anyone who has had much more experience handling and gargling shriveled goblin testicles than anyone else, it'd be you.
>>47651402
You sure do think about St. Flares students a lot.
>>47651418
Didn't Rin literally fuck you're waifu?
>>47651342
Blue magic is the ULTIMATE rich snob skill. Your daddy could just import exotic monsters, preferably weakened and restrained, and have you copy their skills. You'd have a definite advantage over all the adventurers who have to go look for the monsters themselves.
>>47651418
Does she actually fuck old men in Zero?
>>47651442
sakura is shirou's one true waifu.
>>47651406
Okay, but it's not difficult to copy from the wiki, and there are a few people in this general who spend their time trying to start angel shitstorm sessions. And I don't think that angel would be stupid enough to post the sapphoshire thing herself in this thread after all the shit it got for being boring and fetishy.
>>47650969
Too bad there isn't something in between that involves crafting Golems.
>>47651485
>Worm slut
>Shit talking Saber and Rin while praising that thing.
>Talks about Zouken's cock toy while accusing Rin of fucking old men.
At least in most paths you get both Saber and Rin in a two for one deal. With Sakura you just got the worms.
>>47651456
Blue Magic is an amazing skill, and it's too bad it's contradictory with Refinement.
>>47651501
Angel doesn't post here at all. Anybody posting about Angel or as Angel is a shitposter.
>>47651442
>Implying Shirou is not all of their shared husbando
>>47651529
This is true, but it's not nice to shit talk Rin if you're sharing a waifu with her.
>>47651521
I never did any of those things so try again.
>>47651571
Oh, you're not >>47651418 ?
Still though, wormslut is shit.
>>47650707
Say that to me on my Wyvern and not on the internet and see what happens.
I'm a be a royal guard for a Princess and stuff.
>>47651585
>>47651544
>>47651571
But are we all in agreement that the Lunestier Rin pleases old goblins for mana?
>>47651585
I'm not, I just a passing sakurafag.
Also, sakura a cute. A cute!
>>47651649
She's literally just a sack of worms wearing human skin.
>>47651644
Obviously.
>>47651674
An erotical black hole of worms wearing a human skin, thank you.
>>47651456
By that logic every class is the ULTIMATE rich snob skill.
>Your daddy could just import an entire crypt and let you raise it
>Your daddy could just import a giant monster and let you hunt it
>Your daddy could just import a magical forest and let you control it
Point is that being rich makes you innately superior.
>>47651649
But she has fish breath
Actually I wonder, are there any good Fate based CYOAs our there?
>>47651401
That's fine. I'll just buy another one.
>>47651707
A black hole of personality and value maybe.
>>47650792
>Tina Parashu
>Female
>Odesium
>Explosives III
>Ranged Combat III
>Traps II
>Illusion Magic I
>Unarmed Combat I
>Kengen
>Tarkun Ironstout
>Elloise Avery
>Hana
>Tash
>Year 1: Battle Royal
>Year 2: Sports (Marksmanship), Party Planner
>Year 3: Sports (Marksmanship), Party Planner
>Year 4: Battle Royal, Party Planner
>Year 5: Battle Royal, Blind Date (Inas)
Create portable cannons. Blow shit up with the mastery of a sniper while creating traps that leave an explosive surprise to cover other points.
Main nigga is Tash, and our explosions will probably nearly capsize Odesium. At least once.
Decided to do the Battle Royal, and promptly got my rump handed to me the first year. Dedicated myself to marksmanship sports in order to hone my skills, spending the last two years doing quite well in the Battle Royal.
Surprisingly, I took part in planning The Gathering of Life during Years 2-4, usually with the fireworks. Decided to finally go to the ball, and ended up with Inas as my partner for the night.
It was kind of awkward, with her prattling on with fallen angels, and how I used to be a plumber in a past life. Thankfully, I was able to tune out most of it with a forced smile and some nods.
I graduate now as a Mistress of BOOM: showing the people below the true power of explosives and Odesium.
Will you walk the path of Explosions with me?
>>47651184
>>47650792
>St Flares
>Elemental Magic x2
>Physical Training x2
>Unarmed Combat x2
>Teamwork
>Maneuvers
>Ki x2
Fire and Earth! Jorah is a potent mage who believes in honing both his art and his body to achieve maximum efficiency.
In fact he's quite well known for blending his fire and earth magic into his hand to hand fighting sometimes giving him an edge over physically superior opponents.
He's not a leader by any stretch and often finds himself really excelling in groups with a clearly defined leader.
Companions
>Sorte
>Dax
>Malyvin
>Farhat
>Crale Edwards
Events
>Bodyguard 2nd Year 1st Semester
>Security 2nd Year 2nd Semester
>Battle Royal 3rd Year 1st Semested
>Escort 3rd Year 2nd Semester
>Research Proposal 4th Year 2nd Semester
>Battle Royal 4th Year 1st Semester
>Great Hunt 5th Year 1st Semester
>Party Planner 5th Year 2nd Semester
Study Plan
>Elemental Magic
>Unarmed Combat
>Physical Training
>Elemental Magic
>Teamwork
>Maneuvers
>Ki
>Physical Training
>Ki
>Unarmed Combat
>>47650613
School
Lunestier
Classes:
Aerial Combat Specialty
Martial Combat - 3 courses
Team work - 2 courses
Physical training - 2 courses
Tactics - 1 course
First Aid - 1 course
Classmates
Malyvin
Luvyna
Valeria Bluewood
Tennie Northbreed
Suzette Highking
Events
Battle Royal
The Great Hunt
Fund Raising
Security
Battle of the Arts
Body Guard
Heading straight for the Royal Guard after graduation. Hope Suzette's older sister doesn't plan on raping me during the Bodyguard event. I gotta keep my purity for my Wyvern.
>>47651895
>raping me during the Bodyguard event.
You've taken two courses of physical training and martial combat. Unless she's blackmailing you or threatens to use her authority as a princess to destroy/guarantee your chance to enter the guard, I don't see why you'd have that fear.
>>47651285
Hi! Doing pretty good. I moved out to California a couple months ago. Been teaching myself to paint.
>>47651393
Yeah, that's the wiki. I felt like posting with pictures this time though.
>>47651524
I still post some. But I don't use trip anymore. Only like half the posts people think are me are me though. I made >>47650885 for Hero Academy. It's fun cyoa.
>>47651727
Yes but out of those, blue magic get much more advantage for relatively little expenditure.
I feel like a chump now because everyone's putting level 3 skills into their build and I didn't. Just thought I'd leave school with a lot of room to grow or some shit.
>>47650613
>>47650667
>>47650710
>>47650756
>>47650792
>>47650794
>>47650915
Bruh, you gotta work on your grammar and punctuation.
>>47651967
You're not Angel. I would recognize my lovely sugar snap.
>>47651967
>>47651967
>>47651524
>Anybody posting about Angel or as Angel is a shitposter.
>or as Angel is a shitposter.
Your first and last (You), "Angel."
>>47652014
Don't feel too chumpy, mate. The people who've optimized like that don't have as much flexibility compared to lower skilled, but more varied builds.
Wolverine's the best at what he does, but all he does is pull out his claws and cut things.
>>47651950
I assume it'd be blackmail. What with me clearly wanting to be a royal guard and her having probably heard it from her younger sister since she's my friend, and then she could point out how much influence she'd have in that department and how she could make or break that career choice. Then she reminds me of the super important physical examination I'll have to pass. 15 minutes from now. In her bedroom. Wink wink grope grope.
If Highlander is lurking, I'm curious if there's a Zombie dimension yet. I don't recall seeing one in the Hubworlds section.
>>47651998
I don't see how hiring adventures to go find lots of monster with powerful or unique attacks and getting them to bring them back to your estate alive would be cheaper then just having your landscapers plant a glade and scatters some fairy dust around or throwing your kid in the crypt for a couple hours
>>47652086
Just fuck the princess, dude.
>>47652014
I'm sure your build is perfectly fine. It couldn't be any worse than mine.
>>47650613
>Lunestier
>Arcane Magic (3)
>Elemental Magic (3)
>Physical Training (1)
>Magical Refinement (3)
I'm pretty much Kazamia Yuuka only with less physical strength.
>3x The Great Hunt
Master Sparks everywhere!
>2x Blind Date (3,2) Odesium, Jiel.
Unless he manages to charm me with his boyish looks I doubt nothing will come of it and we'll leave as friends.
>(2,4) Odessium, Liene.
We will probably talk about magic all date long. Not much else.
>Bodyguard
I accept her invitation and hope for a night of achieving peace through superior magical firepower.
>>47652025
It's funny because he thanks all the proofreaders at the end.
>>47652139
It goes like this-
2 Unholy Arts
2 Divine Arts
2 Summoning Magic
2 Knowledge
1 Martial Training
1 Maneuvers
If I wanted to be optimized, I wouldn't have wasted all that shit on knowledge and melee fighting.
>>47652198
>2 Unholy Arts
>2 Divine Arts
What manner of blasphemy is this?!
>>47652033
>>47652044
Ok. If you say so. Whatever.
Anyone got ideas for companions in a fantasy setting?
mainly looking for backstory ideas.
>>47652044
Actual angelanon has posted old builds in response to CYOAs, so even if it's not herand it probably isn'tthey've at least got that right.
>>47652254
If there's a method of mind-control or 'beastmaster' kind of powers then maybe you could have a companion actively attempting to destroy it. Or maybe they're trying to create/resurrect a god of some sort.
>>47652254
It depends on your fantasy world. Is it high fantasy, low fantasy, is it upbeat with a decently peaceful world or is it a war torn hell like Game of Thrones, Witcher, and Warhammer?
>>47650985
Hey Box Wine
Will there ever be the option to sacrifice some of your classes in time to take magi-transit to another school and take classes there?
>>47652137
But that defeats the entire romantic ideal of the royal guard and protecting the princesses' purity till marriage and then she has even more blackmail on me. What if the High King finds out a royal guard has been fucking the Crown Princess? I'd be beheaded.
Then one night while she's forcing herself on me she tricks her innocent younger sisters into visitng her room one by one and then I have to rape one of my best friends for fear of the deaths of myself and my Wyvern companion, not to mention the good names of the Royal Family. Then she gets the other Wyvern rider of the Royal Guard Tennie involved and she and Suzette and all the other princesses will hold me down while forcing Luvyna to watch her childhood crush be taken over and over by the illustrious Crown Princess Cynthia right in front of her.
Little will we all know this was all part of Malyvin's master plan to occupy the royal guard and family, leaving the king alone and unprotected, giving him the perfect opportunity to assassinate the king and reestablish the ancient Halfling Empire of ancient times.
>>47650613
Name: Azothia Uhra
School: Odesium
Class: Mage Armourx3/Divine Artsx3/Enhancementx2/Knowledge (Magitech Engineering)x2
>Daughter to a obscure family of clockmakers and tinkerers
>A tragic airship accident left her orphaned and crippled
>devised her own prophetic limbs and toys, and spends her days in the orphanage alone playing with her toys
>claiming that her toys spoke and comforted her during her darkest hour, revealing wonderful secrets and magnificent truths
>finally recognized for her craftsmenship with artifice and invited to attend Odesium, when her clockworked toys rebuilt the crumbling orphanage after suffering a nasty fire
>Putting her faith in a higher power, the Father of Machines patron of all artifice and artificers
>She believed this invitation was a gift from the Great Father, destined to ascend flesh to metal and create wondrous masterpieces to venerate his name
>feel constantly uneasy and nauseous for living and studying on a airship academy, something she still needs to get used to
Companions:
Tarkun Ironstout/Eloise Avery/Bathsheba/Znanje/Liene
>Form a think tank with the five companions
>Liene is our generalist and innovator who will adapt new and emerging technologies and magic in ways our separate narrow fields of research would never consider
>Arkun Ironstout is our chief combat and warfare consultant, she will be the one to test out and spar against new mage-armour models/gadgets and find any flaws. When given the chance study her dwarven weapons and incorporate the near indestructible dwarven alloy in all armour models
>Eloise's surgical expertise and medical knowledge will be invaluable for cybernetic augmentation, brain and neurosystem mapping/interfacing as well as mind uploading much later on
>Help Znanje with her classes and bounce ideas and design philosophies off her, she will be my closest friend and research colleague.
>sympathize with Bathseba's situation, study Bathsheba's AI and artificial brain
>>47652232
Is it not human to sin?
>>47652295
war torn hell, high fantasy, gunpowder.
>>47652333
Year 1: Fund Raising
Year 2: Fund Raising/Research Proposal (Mage Armour nanomachines)
Year 3: Fund Raising/Research Proposal (Cybernetic augmentation through direct neuro-mage armour networked interfacing)
Year 4: Fund Raising/Research Proposal (Mind uploading to artificial neuro-networked systems)
Year 5: Battle Royal
>>47652150
I know, but it still needs a lot of work. Run on sentences and terrible sentence splicing everywhere.
>>47652025
I would love some help if you're willing to
>>47652320
Look anon, just prove yourself as a true hero and the king will HAVE to accept you as his son-in-law. I'm sure the princess will help get her fucktoy instated into the nobility.
>>47651046
According to the lore, because all the not-chill ones were brutally killed during a bloody war with humanity.
Survival of the fittest, but with robots.
>>47652390
Very well. First paragraph(s):
>Congratulations on being accepted to a Heroes Academy! These super prestigious schools were founded as a way to train the youth of tomorrow in all the necessary skills needed to fight against the great threats that threaten our very existence. That being said, there hasn’t been a great threat in the last 98 years, so the academies of today are mostly used to train future soldiers, adventurers, nobles, and the like. Regardless, you’ll be in for a rough five years. You’ll need strength, wit, and friends in equal measure if if you want any hope of surviving until graduation. Who knows; with a little luck (and a demon invasion), you just might be the next great hero!
>So, which school accepted you?
Not too many issues. Splice your sentences more, had to sprinkle a few commas in there (and a semicolon, though I still think that last sentence is awkward).
Spell out numbers that are ten or less in narrative.
Try not to capitalize words that shouldn't be, like "school" in that small sentence in the end.
>>47652320
Stupid NTR cuck.
>>47652254
1) A fairy or similar who has decided fucking with you would be lots of fun. And possibly fucking, but they might not be stretchy enough for this to work.
2) A member of some savage race that has decided that they're going to follow the first person who can both beat them and will let them do so.
3) That one lewd elf who's clearly into being "raped"
4) A more different elf who is trying to promote the idea of living trees as houses
5) A kobold seeking to save their dragon from a fearsome princess.
6) Some sort of homonculus programmed to believe it's actually a human from some world with an "internet" and "ROBs" that force people to complete "CYOAs" before leaving them innawoods.
7) Literally Rubeus Hagrid, blast ended skrewts and all. Doesn't want to go home - he can have a pet dragon here.
8) An excessively dapper Orc. Possibly trying to escape option 3.
9) A hero out to save the world from the evils of advancing technology
10) A lich who gained their current form via a long convoluted plot to fuck with them by their classmate/neighbor/teacher.
11) That one townsman who thinks this is all stupid and would like things to go back to normal.
12) A character from one of those CYOAs that have the option to go on to another CYOA.
13) A Vizier who despite having the traditional look is entirely honorable.
14) A Venus Man Trap who likes playing with her food.
>>47652351
Ok, look at Warhammer Fantasy. You should have a few mercenary companions. These guys aren't good, they are simply in it for the money, and are willing to kill, fight, and plunder just for loot. You could also have a corrupt lord as a financier who wants you to do morally questionable acts so that he can go in and make the situation better and improve his own position. If you have to have a good guy don't go the traditional knight in shining armour make your paladins basically be the equivalent of religious fanatics who will burn people at the stake for heresy or disbelief. They are powerful and they aren't corrupt but their rule is harsh, but fair. Think Stannis Baratheon from Game of Thrones. If there was more information on your world like the nations and factions in there I could give you much more specific pointers. How much of it is done by the way? Did you just start?
>>47651216
are you me?
>>47652492
You seem confused Anon. I DON'T want that to happen.
>>47650792
>>47650915
>>47650710
>no pic because I'm shit at finding any suitable pic in days
>Aidan Steelwood
>Lunestier
>Classes:
1. Ranged Combat
2. Tactics
3. Arcane Magic
4. Traps
5. Physical training
6. Maneuvers
7. Magical Refinement
8. Ranged combat 2nd
9. Magic Refinement 2nd
10. Magic Refinement 3rd
>Friends
Valerie, Mecherath
>Events
Battle Royal x5
Escort
Security
Party planner
Mastery of the bow can get you that far, but with magic one can go beyond that. Soon to learn arcane magic brought many new possibilities, at first the burst of mana were too unfocused, wild and consuming compare to bow and arrow, but with constant refining "mana bolts" could surpass their metal counterparts, in most aspects. Even having matching catalyst, a fine "bow-less crossbow", that of course lacks drawing mechanism and "limbs", useful only for bashing someone and aiming arcane bolts.
As Tennie, he is too rather unfit for this school, running around the battlefield in armor even trained mage hunter would call him "just a soldier". But he uses refined arcane magic with marksman precision to take on targets far away and close alike, having good combat awareness to have at least one arcane trap from where enemies might come. He joins each battle royal in 1v1 to prove his combat style to not be a dream, but viable, maybe a bit too stuck up on it, he's lucky to even have friends that remind him that there are other things in world.
>>47652390
St. Flares description:
>St. Flares was actually the school that trained the last great hero, and it’s here that they also met those who would aid them in their future exploits. Established roughly 159 years ago, St. Flares has always been considered a middle-of-the-pack academy. Granted, their reputation grew massively after the last hero, but the current age of peace has down little for their renown.
Seriously, what does that last sentence mean there? “...has down little for their renown.” Misuse of word, maybe? I don’t know, I left it as is.
>Many refer to St. Flares as one of the last few adventurer academies. While aspiring adventurers can be found at any academy, they’re a true majority only at St. Flares. This might be due to the fact that the administration only hires former adventurers, or their numerous “field studies” in which students are tasked with fighting actual monsters in student-formed parties.
>Whatever it is that drives an individual to join St. Flares, it’s the spirit of adventure that practically seeps through the walls. No one can deny the close bonds and camaraderie that come to last a lifetime.
You’ve got a lot of long sentences here. Avoid them. Avoid unnecessary things like “without a doubt”, it just bloats things and makes it a little harder to read than it should be. Try simpler terms.
Your narrative is coming from a disembodied voice. If it were clearly being said from a character, I'd be more lenient on this.
>>47652591
I think he meant "has DONE little for their renown."
>>47650915
What can Blue Magic do with a Tentacle Monster
>>47652320
That's certainly something
>>47652495
Gold
>>47652551
It won't matter. Anti-NTR guy doesn't care who's doing what, they are just mad about NTR in everyone's general direction.
>>47652495
It's suppose to be a dark gritty fantasy. Like the Witcher or Warhammer. Elf and fairy waifus who want to be raped don't fit in. The only ones I can kind of see with some changes are 2, some savage race that you beat but is honorable and now sees itself as your slave and his life belongs to you until he can save your life.
10. Possible have it be some lich who has great magic power but he never inteded to be a lich but was a great mage who fucked up his spell and so now is an undead immortal abomination. He has to deal with lots of shit.
13. Yeah the vizier being the one non corrupt, non religious fanatic could fit in, not everyone has to be an evil asshole in grim worlds.
Did the sex demon cyoa ever get updated?
I remember there was nothing the spend the points on that you got for corrupting people
>>47652591
>Try simpler terms.
Talk down for the retards, eh?
>>47652606
You are platinum mad someone hates your fetish.
>>47652611
He started, then disappeared again.
>>47652602
I'm a member of the royal guard. I have to be paranoid in case my childhood friends turn out to be evil masterminds bent on overthrowing the kingdom to restore ancient pasts.
>>47652606
whatch out or Anti-NTR guy will NTR you
>>47652629
Damnbecause I would like to be a sex demon
>>47652673
It's one of my favorite CYOAs too.
>>47652629
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE6jy78tV78
>>47652602
>What can Blue Magic do with a Tentacle Monster
Either some sort of binding attack that's composed of suspicious looking goo or an AOE physical attack that's basically just tentacle-whipping everyone.
>>47652333
>>47652375
>Research Proposal (Mage Armour nanomachines)
Senator Armstrong approves of this build.
>>47652614
No. Narrative is usually meant to be clear and concise. Removing things like "without a doubt" or "due to the fact" doesn't detract anything from the sentence. The only thing those phrases do are bloat up a sentence to something longer than it should be.
Trimming the fat, per se.
>>47652390
Lunestier description:
>When the original four great heroes ended the world’s first great threat, they decided to go their own separate ways. One of those heroes, Tempered Heart Markot, would go on to create one of the first academies. He named it Lunestier, after a town that the heroes had failed to save. The name meant to stand as a constant reminder of what a hero’s first priority must always be: the people.
>Today, Lunestier is the absolute premier academy for aspiring nobles, diplomats, and merchants of all races. They maintain a strict sense of discipline in all aspects of life, as reflected in their school motto: “The mind, the body, and the spirit. These form the links to the chain that holds back evil’s machinations.” This leads to many a spoiled child leaving a tempered soldier, or a disgrace.
Don’t really know what that last sentence is trying to convey. Little awkward.
>Many claim that the Lunestier name carries more power than the actual training, but its alumni know the truth. Nested away in that small unassuming cove is where students elevate themselves to true elites.
Not much to say here, not too bad. Still needed a few commas and brushing up.
Take these with a grain of salt.
>>47652614
Or learn to write to purpose. I mean, it's fine to inject a little of your own personality into it, but a potential side effect of that is that some people might really dislike your personality.
![Oie_0D0r9X9tz0cM[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/IRkZ21J.gif "Oie_0D0r9X9tz0cM[1].gif")
>>47652715
Give him this
>>47652722
Honestly, when people were redlining the text earlier it was because that's WAY easier to see what you actually changed that way.
>>47652390
Odesium description:
>To the unassuming eye, the Odesium more closely resembles an aerial warship than an academy. In truth, the Odesium is the world’s first flying academy. Built and funded by its dwarven headmaster and famed inventory, Oswald Singedbeard, the Odesium serves as a beacon to those who wish to study the finer points of magic and science. In fact, many graduates end up working in one of the Odesium’s sister ships (both of which are research centres).
Do you call it “the Odesium” or “Odesium”? You mix it up a bit. I’m going with “the Odesium”.
Also, are you going for commonwealth English or American English? I’m going with “centre”, but American English would be “center.”
>The Odesium is much more than just a piece of learning. It also exists to train those of a more martial persuasion in the newest (and often experimental) forms of combat, many of whom become great adventurers and sky warriors.
Quite a lot of spelling mistakes so far.
>The Odesium, above all else, is a sanctuary to its students. Safe above the clouds and free of discrimination, students can lead a relaxed and productive life inside her walls. Aboard this ship, innovation and free thought are the shared principles that untie its students.
Now THAT is how you write a paragraph. Bravo, you just needed a few commas.
>>47652793
Would you prefer I do it in that format?
If the author would be so kind to give me a Word document of the entire thing (or post it on Google Docs), I could do proper proof-reading in Google Docs with comments.
>>47650613
>>47650667
>>47650710
>>47650756
>>47650792
>>47650794
>>47650915
Lunestier
Tactics 3
Bardic Arts 3
Knowledge 3 (Nobility, Economics, Languages)
Diplomacy
Mecherath
Suzette Highking
Allyce Westhold
Valerie Bluewood
Crale Edwards
Fund Raising 5
Escort
Bodyguard
Party Planner
>>47652840
Relevance?
>>47652840
meant to quote >>47652695
>>47652828
I would.
>>47650613
Decided to make a character focused on stealth. Pretty useless for direct combat but lots of potential to do sneaky ninja stuff.
Courses:
Stealth x3
Maneuvers x2
Illusion magic x2
Physical Exercise
Traps
Assasination
Companions:
Kengen
Nashwa
Bathsheba
Cassiopeia
Scal
Events:
>Escort
As many times as it takes to help this poor girl.
>Security
Should be easy for me and the gang.
Blind Date sounds interesting so let's see here...
>4-4
If I can avoid offending her I might survive the night.
>>47652882
Until I get a finished document, I'm just gonna continue like this.
>>47652390
Ej Har description:
>The Ej Har Institute exists in no nation’s borders. Rather, it exists in the independent city-state of Quadicle. Quadicle acts as the buffer nation for three separate kingdoms that have a long history of war and strife. It was created as a neutral zone where the kingdoms could resolve matters peacefully, which has proven to be very successful.
>Unique from the other academies, the Institute is not restricted by moral standards. Their motto is: “Justice requires power, and power requires everything!” So, whether it’s the darker aspects of magic, the cruder forms of fighting, or the less ethical aspects of alchemy, you can find training in it at Ej Har.
>The Institute carries a very negative reputation with it (that Lunestier seems all to eager to spread, leading to a school rivalry of sorts), one that its graduates carry with them as well. Yet, no student has ever voiced distaste over the social treatment they receive. To them, the power was a worthy trade.
Required quite a bit of rewording here. You might want to avoid naming a noun over and over again, IE "The Ej Har Institute" in every other sentence. Sometimes, calling it "it" can suffice.
>>47650756
>Uzaza
>3xUnarmed Combat
>1xTeamwork
>2xManeuvers
>3xPhysical Training
>1xBerserking
Companions:
>Kengen
>Farhat
>Yung Tashi
>Helena
>Kara'Tee
We Kamishiro now
>>47652629
>You are platinum mad someone hates your fetish.
I'm not seeing it, personally. Mostly someone just reeeeally really wants NTR to be brought up at every opportunity, and seeing it when it isn't there. Being "against it" doesn't really mask that fact.
>>47650792
>>47652390
>Box Wine
Are you going to create a god list for holy/unholy magic
>>47652950
Something tells me you're probably diagnosed with autism.
>>47653020
What are you even criticizing at this point?
>>47653041
That you're being anal retentive about something few people care about and even fewer people want to go through with the effort of correcting.
Its either autism or you're trying to prove something because you failed miserably at some point at your life.
>>47652950
It's just annoying because nobody knows what you actually did.
>>47653020
I don't get it, did I touch a nerve of yours?
If you have something to contribute, please.
>>47653076
That wasn't me, but I still don't see what you're so angry about. He asked for assistance, I'm literally giving it to him along with advice.
Sorry for trying to help?
>>47652970
I'm seeing it because you keep whining about some supposed stable of people who hate it. It's the norm to hate it. I dunno about the guy who brought it up firs tthis time, but you are equally annoying with the bogeyman stuff.
>>47653076
Or (and just hear me out here) he wants to help a contributing content creator make it so that their content is of the highest possible quality.
Honestly, what good are you doing by insulting this guy? How does that help anything? You don't think the changes are necessary, don't read through them.
>>47645409 →
Damn, I missed this. Fucking timezones.
Well, it's still a really, really good CYOA, so I'll try to post builds here anyway.
What I'm gonna do is post builds for all the girls, then try to rank them based on how much I'd like each build.
FEI LA:
Orb of Life
Welfare
Since she's a succubus there's no way I'm choosing Surveillance thank you. I'll just take these two.
Homemaking - ahead, I see lovemaking is free, and although I'd personally prefer matchmaking I'm worried it's gonna break her cute little demon heart.
Lesser Demonify - I'm going to pretend I didn't hear the "slave" part. To tempt her into taking advantage of me. Because that is 100% my fetish.
Sex Suit - also one of my fetishes.
Bonus - Yes please. I'll take the Lustonomicon.
...Say, what would happen if you drank the Love Potion yourself?
MISHE:
Dream Home - I mean, she would ruin everything I own otherwise.
Library of the Supernatural - perk is great here.
Employment - I could bring Mishe along in my pocket 'cause she presumably knows more about the supernatural. Hope that's not unethical.
Pocket Slime - Hey! Listen!
Jelly Resilience - I hope nobody attacks me with peanut butter.
Aqua Gown - I'm taking the bonus and wearing it myself. Mishe has had plenty of time to practice dexterity anyway, right?
Bonus - Make me an ooey gooey slime!
...Wait, "forbidden"? I hope that has no repercussions at my job.
TWILE:
Orb of Life
Library of the Supernatural - Let me try to do the "make my waifu real" ritual.
Surveillance - I mean, it can't be THAT bad, right?
Ghost Writer - huh, so she wrote my favorite book. I just wanna read more; taking credit would be a bonus. Kind of a dick move when I think about it though, even if she doesn't mind.
Body Swap - Real Form is already free, anyway.
Ruin Rock - It's kind of a novelty, but I'd still have a lot of fun with it. Or go insane, depending on what the future's like.
Bonus - What could possibly go wrong?
(1/4 or 5 or so)
>>47653099
I'm the person you were originally talking to, I only said >>47653084 , the other guy is someone else more annoyed than I am. For me, it's a minor thing, I like to be able to see what's being changed without having to read through the whole thing.
>>47653019
a list or a graphic?
>>47653076
Dude, I'm not even that other guy. An author asked for help with editing, guy is helping with editing. If you're the requester? Fine, tell the guy it's more detail than you need.
If you're just a piece of shit that gets defensive around there merest hint of competence and starts talking about "anal retentive" and "must be a failure with something to prove", then stop it.
>mfw nobody likes my Hero Academy build
>>47653084
If there were a way to highlight every single edit I did, I would. But I'm not going to add an asterisk every time I add a comma.
As I said, if he would like to give me a word document with the content, that would make things easier for everybody. But until then, I will have to manually re-type everything.
>>47653150
I liked it
>>47653105
That's funny to me, because people are pretty much using NTR as a bogeyman, and raising the alarm when it's not even on the table.
>>47653134
See >>47653157
I'm serious, if I were to say "I put a comma here" every time I did, it would be even harder to read.
>>47653157
Is box wine still updating the cyoa?
If he is, perhaps he will correct all the grammar mistakes when he eventually releases that DLC he did a strawpoll a couple of threads ago.
>>47653178
Then that just makes you a hypocrite anon, and nobody likes those.
>>47653143
Both? Either?
>>47653194
None of the allegations you're throwing at me seem to stick. Oh well, you're probably aware of that. Enjoy your target practice.
>>47653143
Graphic like the rest of the pages I guess
>>47653150
Which one was it?
>>47653169
Yo Boxy, do we have an ETA in the next major update? Im unsure if I wanna post a slightly redone version of my build until the next major update or not.
>>47650707
Shitposting already. Just stfu.
>>47653213
>I'm rubber you're glue!
Jesus Christ, anon.
>>47653143
Hey Box wine, earlier you said that non-divine healing magic came from a mix of arcane and ki
how does that work, and what is the upward limit of what you could do with that if you had 3 in each?
In addition, could that same be said for any combination of those two and blood magic? I really like healing, but dislike the divine, and want to experiment with some ideas.
I miss the short quick, linear cyoas. why does everything have to be a character sheet worth of options when you don't ultimately end up using that character sheet for anything.
>>47653273
post some
they don't have to be, it's just what the majority like currently. Start seeding the idea of other kinds of CYOAs
>>47653273
I use the longer ones as ideas for characters I want to run sometimes
>>47653273
Hero academy is only 6 pages anon.
Hell if you remove all the lore description and space due to formatting, all the options can fight one page.
>>47653251
More like the confused look you would get if you called an emaciated skeleton a fat ass. Insults usually work best when they make a little more sense in context.
>>47650613
>The Ej Har Institute
>Summoning Magic 3
>Necromancy 3
>Unholy Arts 2
>Blood Magic 2
>Nashwa
>Bathsheba
>Scal
>Cassiopeia
>Inas
>>47653300
and how many of those do you actually end up running?
>>47650915
Hey Box Wine, really digging your new CYOA.
I've got a couple questions:
1. Can there be a class added that combines magic with melee or ranged combat? Sorta like the Mystic Knight and Magick Archer from Dragon's Dogma.
2. Do you think classes can be split up between major and minor classes? I feel like classes such as First Aid, Tactics, Knowledge, Physical Training, Stealth, Maneuvers, etc pale in comparison to more powerful classes like the various Magic and Combat classes.
>>47653311
It's more like an anon whining about people using bogeymans while using a bogeyman. You're just, you know, doing the same thing, but thinking you're more righteous for it.
>>47653192
Whether or not he updates it is up to him. There are, however, clear literature mistakes. He asked me to help, so I am.
>>47652390
Uzuza description:
>Of the 99 great threats that the world has faced, it was said that the seventh greatest threat, “The Rage of Magic,” was one of the worst. It was also one of the only three threats that was ended by a single hero, a man named “War King Az.” While many details of the great hero Az have been lost to history, his place of birth, Uzuza, was not. The once small village has since become a world-renown symbol for strength.
Might consider changing “99” to ninety-nine. Sometimes, spelling out numbers helps emphasize a number.
>Today, many prospective warriors find themselves at the great city of Uzuza in hopes of becoming the next Az. Often, they leave in disappointment. Only the most elite in physical prowess are allowed to train amongst the masters whom staff the academy which shares a name with the city.
>Despite this, most look down on Uzuza as an institution, claiming that their views are outdated. This is mostly because of their image as paranoid nostalgics, refusing to use magic and over-romanticization of the legend of Az. However, the students of Az know different. They value the trust of steel and know just how dangerous the way of the mystics can be.
This one needed a lot of rewording, especially the second and third paragraphs. I think you left some words out when typing that last paragraph.
I'm not gonna continue because some faggots think I'm autistic, but hopefully you have an idea of what sort of work needs to be done.
>>47653273
But I love that kind of shit.
If you want something boring and one note, fucking make it lazy prick.
>>47653320
I know I've used a couple of characters I made in space CYOAs
>>47653345
Not Encased Liqueur but thanks for your work.
>>47653323
it's implied that you can build spellswords with some of the classes listed, you just have to choose a school that does not shun either. I would recommend Odesium for the Enhancement class, then take some combination of Martial, tactics, ki, smithing, arcane, physical training and/or maneuvers
>>47653323
I see I'm not the only person that thought some of those could literally just be done in your off time.
>>47653374
If he is still willing to upload it onto google docs or give us a word document, I would continue.
>>47645409
>>47653130
HARMONY:
Orb of Life
Dream Home - there's no way I have enough room.
Amnesia - I don't need memories! I've got necromancy!
Tutor - I guess it's nice.
Visual Synch - we can freak everyone out and play games of "spot the difference"!
Harmony Ring - could be useful?
Bonus - yes please. It's my fetish. Also I didn't take welfare and I've forgotten all my skills so I'm basically a NEET now.
OMNE:
Orb of Life
Dream Home
Employment - I AM A GOD...'s roommate. So I still need the cash.
Miracle Worker - I almost always take the luck perks.
Gentle Touch - So I don't become Lendian(?) Satan.
Divine Uniform - I'll never lack a wardrobe again!
Bonus - Teleportation can be the extra. Avatar? Do I get to Airbend? And has there been one of these bonuses I haven't taken?
PAN:
Orb of Life
Library of the Supernatural
Surveillance - I need a house that can also be a bakery, and now I have a free security system!
Advocating - can you tell the Spirit of Sequels to make some for my favorite things?
Metabolism - So I get LotS bonuses for both of us.
Militant Macarons - I don't even care about the transformation, I just wanna be a badass. A badass girl is just a bonus.
Bonus - Yes! And I can sell my drinks on the side too with my newfound Companion Power.
(2/4 or 5 or so) (I might be a while because I had something unexpected come up, but hopefully I can get back to finish this build sooner than later)
>>47653323
>1. Can there be a class added that combines magic with melee or ranged combat? Sorta like the Mystic Knight and Magick Archer from Dragon's Dogma.
that's imbuement's schtick
>>47650613
Its time.
>School
Odesium
>Classes
Bardic Arts 3
Maneuvers 3
Unarmed Combat 1
Arcane Magic 2
Airship Training
>Companions
Farhat
Luvyna
Kengen
Jiel
Znanje
>Events
Battle of the Arts x5
Escort
Sports (Danger Run)
Fund Raising
I'll make the world listen to my song.
>>47650961
>Tracer
>Zenyatta
>ZaryaI like her hair
>>47653331
I suppose the difference is that person or people who spoke up about disliking NTR actually exist, whereas there are often jihads called when NTR wasn't even being discussed.
>>47650961
Mei
D.Va
Mercy
...the fact that all of them are beautiful women is entirely coincidental.
>>47653422
You mangled your English here.
>>47653150
People don't have to reply to your build in order to like it.At least that's what I keep telling myself...
>>47653422
See >>47652492, for example.
>>47652390
Do you make these shit faced or something?
>>47653442
>People don't have to reply to your build in order to like it.
Y-yeah, that's true.
>>47653469
Just read the Uzuza description. Pretty sure he was shit faced.
>>47653442Honestly I just didn't read builds, because most of them are just a laundry list of picked options.
>>47653240
>Which one was it?
>>47650885
>>47653169
Really?! Do you think it' work in your setting?
>>47651184
Is he dead?
>>47645409
>>47653405
ALICE:
Damn, Alice is usually the name of my RPG characters. Now what am I gonna call myself?
Orb of Life
Dream Home - could use something in the tropics, now...
Employment
Data Collection - I care about SCIENCE! So even though I really like the other two, this is more important.
Other - You gotta have blue hair. Although I could go without blue skin and black eyes, so...
Bass Suit - You know I always wanted musical powers, right? I'm even thinking of making a CYOA based on them... although I'm absolute shit at design, so that might have to be one of my sweet dreams for now.
Bonus - No. How am I gonna give her warm hugs?
ANDREA:
Aww, I just wanna give her hugs and maybe raise her as my daughteru if she's young enough.
Orb of Life
Library of the Supernatural - SOULS!
Surveillance - I wonder if I can hijack the energy from the cameras? I don't want a seven-digit electric bill...
Artist - I'm gonna treat her the way she should be: as acollaborative partner.
Reproduction - I wanted Nuclear Core, but I feel like her choices take priority.
Cyborg Nanobots - I always wanted this.
Bonus: No no no no no no no.
KAILA:
Orb of Life
Library of the Supernatural - Seems like she wants it.
Policewoman - Seems like she prefers it the most.
Sealing - I can be like a sidekick! She'd like that, right? Although I really really want Coincidence...
Magical Uniform - Sidekicks need costumes too!
Bonus: I guess I better learn how to give massages.
(3/4 or 5 or so)
>>47653469
His name is from the fact that he makes CYOAs after drinking a bunch of box wine.
>>47653413
Yeah but imbuement is Ki based
>>47653564
I think it's okay
>>47652333
So what kind of futures does your limb tell you about, being all prophetic and all.
>>47653130
>Love Potion yourself
Well, someone would have put mix some sort of their fluid into it first, otherwise it just makes you a bit more submissive. Assuming such was mixed in, it makes you fall in love with them.
>Mishe
No, considering your job, it's fine to bring her. That's probably just about the only place she'd feel fine showing herself to others. No, there's no repercussions for the ritual. Slime culture just banned it, not your government.
>depending on what the future's like.
That all depends on how far into the future you look.
>>47653405
>Harmony
I changed the drawbacks, so it isn't amnesia anymore. I'm relieved to know that even though some people are starkly against the mere suggestion of it that you actually chose it.
>So I don't become Lendian(?) Satan.
Now I'm imagining a dynamic where Omne is this benevolent god & her clumsy roommate is accidentally a god of destruction.
>...one of these bonuses I haven't taken?
Well, the bonuses are fun-mode, for the most part.
>can you tell the Spirit of Sequels
Getting sequels is probably the easiest worthwhile thing she can convince a Spirit to do.
>>47653630
>Bonus - No. How am I gonna give her warm hugs?
I figured you would have taken the Library for her, then.
>daughteru is she's young enough.
Well, by human years, she's a preschooler. But age doesn't apply so much for robots.
Also if you're worried about Andrea's electric bills, remember that Welfare covers her costs, including the electric used to power her.
>I really really want Coincidence...
But anon, you might accidentally walk in while she's taking a shower! And she'll be an adult now!
That was fun to read. I might be reaching a char limit myself, so I'll end this post, now.
>>47653797
Oh, that reminds me of a question I had.
What would happen if Fei La and I exchanged the love potion with a kiss? Since both sets of saliva are mixed in.
>>47645409
>>47653630
I just realized I need to go somewhere for the whole day.
So, I guess I'll have to post what I have of the final three, and post the last two much later. Sorry about that.
JEANNE:
*skims over* OH GOD YES PLEASE.
Let's see, there's already an Orb of Life option...
Dream Home
Library of the Supernatural
Employment
Fashion Designer - She seems like she'd be perfect at this desu.
Immortality - /ss/ anyone? Besides, I can go back and pick the other two with the bonus.
Desire Compass - I am desperately seeking a purpose in life.
Bonus - YES! Now I can finally achieve my dream ofbecoming the little.trap
...I can say that Jeanne is probably in the lead for the rankings in my head now.
(4/5)
>>47653534
I didn't get nearly enough headpats when I posted stories along with my builds, so eventually I just stopped.
>>47653797
>I figured you would have taken the Library for her, then.
Well, I figured that I could just move to the tropics or something. That way, I'd actually want to cool down. A lot. Especially because I don't deal well with heat.
...Now I'm starting to rethink this.
>>47652606
Hmm NTRmageddon cyoa... it's a real cukastrophy! Someone should have just left the slutanomicon alone.
>>47653666
yes, that's the niche of ki. there's no point having it if you start introducing magic options that do the same thing.
>>47653823
Well, #14 can't cause narcissism, so you'd both fall in love with each other. But she gives you the recipe, so you could just make a batch for each of you. There's no reason to ingest it in such a way.
>>47653825
>post the last two much later.
Well, there'll probably be more when you return, maybe.
>I am desperately seeking a purpose in life.
>Points to Jeanne
>>47653849
That makes sense. From your perspective, you'd always have someone refreshingly cool to hug.
>>47653723
>I think it's okay
>okay
;_;
>>47653920
>There's no reason to ingest it in such a way.
I only thought of it because it's a silly little romantic cliche and I have a head full of those.
>>47653564
>Lunestier
I don't like it.
>>47653920
>There's no reason to ingest it in such a way.
But it's lewd so obviously you need to do it this way.
I just had a thought: What would be the implications of Amnesia(if it still existed)+Twile? It's not surprising one would go mad if they were suddenly never alone, given some time.But what if they never knew a life where they were alone? Is there a psychology anon here who might have an idea? Is this even under the realm of psychology?
>>47652689
Should I just make a new version myself?
>>47654038
There's nothing really stopping you, but I'd rather see your own unique take on the concept rather than as an update to the existing one.
>>47650792
I think some of the classes are a bit redundant/useless. Maybe someone can answer a couple of questions that I have.
Why would anyone take Physical Training over Ki Attunment?
Also if your social skills are terrible you would want to take teamwork, but whats the difference between Teamwork I and Teamwork III?
Traps are nice but I feel that for them to work you MUST take at least one class in Tactics. The traps are useless if no one will go to the general area of where it is. or is there a case where traps alone are good.
>>47653905
Yeah I agree you've got a good point. My issue is that in order to get Imbuement I have to go to Uzuzu, which is the second or third worst school in my opinion.
>>47654007
You'd basically become an extension of Twile as an individual.
>>47653240
Well I have a mid-term tomorrow so Ill probably get drunk and start working on it after that so if I get a good workflow going then maybe Thursday?
Also Here's the school club poll just pick the ones you're interested in seeing
http://www.strawpoll.me/10416186
unless I end up getting super drunk tonight then all bets are off
>>47653237
You might have to wait a week or two then. I might right up some stuff in a pdf though.
>>47653266
The Ki and Arcane magic aspects are meant to jumpstart a persons own self healing process maxed out on both you could induce mild regeneration (think debut wolverine cirrca '74) with those three and blood magic you could probably do everything Divine does but like 10x better (at least in the aspect of healing(minus resurrection of course which is near impossible even with triple Divine Arts)
>>47653273
I'm sorry bout that man This was my first multi page cyoa (if we dont count mystery boxes)
>>47653323
In truth Id rather combine them into bigger classes if anything. Ideally you are going to use each class in your own special way. That's why there's a lot of vague stuff in terms of power levels.
>>47653469
Yup It helps my confidence the only thing here written sober was Blue Magic
I do preplanning sober though
>>47653564
Yea It's one of my more favored builds and one of my npc candidates
I wish I could comment on every build but goddamn did I pick a bad time in my life to post this cyoa
>>47654088
>I'm sorry bout that
Don't be. A lot of us love this kind of CYOA.
>>47654088
Yeah you did good, big CYOA's are usually more fun than short ones.
>>47653923
I mean it nothing bad, nothing over the top. It seams like the perfectly typical route for a Summoner based character. I will say that Summoners seem rather rare in this CYOA, so there's kudos to you
>>47653742
Autocorrect mistake, I meant prosthetic.
I fucking hate typing on my phone.
>>47654088
Could explain how well Ki and Magic work together?
>>47650613
Ej Har
Tactics x3
Knowledge ( History, philosophy, psychology) x3
Assassination x3
Teamwork x1
Malyvin
Dax
Farhat
Sanyo
Scal
Basilisk Den x3
Security x2
Bodyguard x3
Kala stands out at Ej Har and not just because she's politer and better behaved than a Lunestier sycophant. Kala stands out because of her subtlety. Where other students throw their weight around and proudly fly their philosophical colors, Kala prefers to stay out of the limelight, pulling strings from behind fronts and shadows. A consummate spymaster despite her young age and tender exterior, she is a favorite of her teachers, and an object of fear for her fellow students. Kala takes the teachings of her assassination studies in a less literal way than most. After all, knives and poison are not the only ways to remove someone. One can eliminate their enemies without ever lifting more than a pen, pouch of gold, or word.
>>47654088
If you take option x 3 times and then knowledge (option x) three times, does that stack? No one has done it yet but I feel like it would at least stack for things like diplomacy.
>>47654181
Yeah figured that was the case but it was just too funny not to poke at. Imagine your fake leg suddenly yelling out "warning will robinson, warning" as it sees danger in your immediate future.
>>47654336
>Something, something "I can feel the storm in my bones" something.
>>47654168
Thanks! I try to make unique builds. I normally don't go for summoners,but this cyoa had good options for them. What kind of build did you make?
>>47654088
>Yea It's one of my more favored builds and one of my npc candidates
!!!!! I'm glad you like it! Always makes me feel good when author likes my build for their cyoa. It's a fun one, thanks for making it!
>>47653968
There's literally nothing wrong with Lunestier.
>>47654402
Lunestier now has a reputation for smug bitchy rich kids.
>>47654203
They are working in tandem it that makes sense. Ki and magic are a lot like syrup and rubbing alcohol and vegetable oil in that they can't interact with each other directly. God that's a shit explanation but its kinda that best I can do at the moment
>>47654309
Yes and no
You ever play hero system/champions? they break up a lot of their skills into professional skills and knowledge skills. A professional skill represents your ability to do something while a knowledge skill represents how much you know about something
For example lets say that you have two skills, 'professional skill Bar tending' and 'knowledge skill bar tending'. The professional skill represents how well you can mix drinks, wait on customers, make small talk, etc. However doesn't equate to knowledge on the subject. The knowledge skill represents the facts and info about bar tending like knowing mixed drinks, health code standards, average pay, etc. It does not equate into actual skill in bar tending.
Another good example is sports. Take something like basketball, a pro player would have a high professional skill while a coach/team analyst would have a high knowledge skill.
The same principle applies here
>>47654088
I'd like to avoid dumping 9 points into things if I need to, what would be the minimum combinations of ki, arcane and blood magic in order to achieve the healing powers of a lvl 3 divine? I mean, if I have to dump 9/10 to do so I will, but the statement you made was "do everything Divine does but like 10x better", so I imagine there's some sort of wiggle room.
Also, could you elaborate why Arcane boosts healing in its description? I can see it as augmenting Ki, as some sort of strictly worse Magic Refinement, but other than that assumption on my part there really doesn't seem to be any indication of why Arcane would boost healing.
Thank you for working with me on this, btw. My questions are pretty autistic in need for details, but I understand you don't actually have to answer them so your doing so is much appreciated.
>>47654227
>Kala stands out because of her subtlety
wut
>>47654402
>What kind of build did you make?
Druid/Blue mage/Elementalist/bookworm, with a little Divine and Survival splashed in
>>47652333
>Father of machines
>>47654529
Exactly.
Everyone at Ej Har is outrageously edgy and snowflake-y, even the students deliberately trying not to be.I totally didn't just not think that line through.
In any case, I'm gonna make another build because I'm not 100% happy with that one.
>>47654575
If the deity you worship tells you its benevolent and showers you with miracles and even gives you a better life then being stuck in some shithole orphanage, you kind of just roll with the perks.
>>47654489
>They are working in tandem it that makes sense. Ki and magic are a lot like syrup and rubbing alcohol and vegetable oil in that they can't interact with each other directly. God that's a shit explanation but its kinda that best I can do at the moment
Hmm that changes things
If I bookmark the pastebin, and visit it later, will it be updated (as the pastebin is updated)?
>>47654723
I might change things up by making a class that allows for the fusion of the two
>>47654614
I think it'scute
>>47654402
I think any author is happy to see builds for their cyoas and thanks so much for the kind words hope you enjoy the update latter this week
>>47654806
yes
>>47650961
>She'll want you to help her help others
>not a +
You're a heartless ass anon.
>Mercy
How could I not? She's so perfect and sweet....
>Symmetra
Free tech upgrades and a personal teleporter? Sounds pretty sweet desu. Also she is pretty hot, and I don't mind her yelling at me to clean my stuff, I need to do it anyways.
>Lucio
Seems like a cool guy. Why the hell not?
>>47654864
Thanks BoxWine.
Wait, which part of it is cute?
>>47654907
>She's so perfect and sweet....
Personally I use the "Heroes never die... for a price" skin.
>>47654907
>Lucio and Symmetra.
You're in for some bad times.
>>47650792
You know it's good when you keep changing your build.
>>47654921
the whole not thinking it through bit
>>47650961
I think I was to busy playing over watch to make a build for this
Based off my most played
Lucio
Pharah
Symmetra
Personal Choices
Zarya
Reinhardt
D. Va
shit why do I only want to live with tanks?
>>47654864
We just have so many class options its hard to choose.
