You are a newly christened Mind, ready to head out of your home GSV to take part into the latest scuffle in which the Culture chose to show its guns.
What is your name/ship class?
LOU Love Is The Answer
>>47561671
The VFP "Just Round Down To 3.14".
>>47561671
ROU If You Can Read This We're Ramming
>>47561671
GSV 'Fuck it we'll do it live'
>>47561671
GOU "Don't Use Coasters."
>>47561671
I don't know anything about this setting, but going off of these naming conventions I'd go with
TRB 'So What Does The Red Button Do?'
Okay i just teched some tech and solved the problem that we were questing for.
Thread complete.
>>47561732
ROU But what is the question?
GSV Prospecting for Gravitas
GCU Because I said so.
>>47562392
>missing the point of roleplaying
>missing the point of The Culture
Reminder that naming a ship "she's one of ours sir" in an attempt to confuse the enemy assumes:
1. That they will speak your language.
2. That they have no way of identifying a ship besides writing.
3. That they're able to read a name painted on your hull and not just a blip on their radar.
4. That they'll even care what the name of your ship is before knowing whether it's hostile.
5. That they won't say "The name of the ship is, she's one of ours sir, sir."
In short, unless you run into space captains Abbott and Costello, it's not going to work.
And even if it did work, by that logic you could gain even more time by making your ship's name something unreasonably long, such as the entire script of Bee Movie, since you assume they won't do anything to you until they say the name out loud.
>>47562903
>autism
>missing the point of The Culture ship names
ROU Hormonal Imbalance
GSV Anger Management Issues
>>47561671
GCU Outfox the Fox
Alternatively
LCU Would you like a Jellybaby?
GSV Real Cool Time
GCU Only If You Want To
ROU The Looks That Kill
GCU Star Hustler
MSV Where Does This Ocean Go
ROU The King Of The Streets
GSV Right Here, Right Now
GSV Dumb Enough
MSV Can Anyone Else Hear That Rattle?
>>47562201
You monster
GSV What Does This Button Do?
PS There's Fries in the Fridge
ROU Overdue Assignment
ROU Fun Times With Weapons
>>47562903
That's why it's the
ROU'); DROP TABLE SensorContacts;--
>this isn't a quest thread.
We'll never get a culture quest will we.
>>47562151
Pro-name here.
GOU Lithobreaker
ROU Prone to Rapid Unplanned Disassembly
GSV Kracken Bait
GOU Maximum Force Response
I don't know why, but that's been my default wars hip designation for a while now.
>>47561671
ROU Just The Tip
>>47562201
Now that's a table with some character.
MSV Night Time (Is the Right Time)
>>47561671
GOU Gridfire Sticks to Kids
ROU Live Fast, Die Hard, Leave a Good-Looking Shipwreck
ROU Your Destruction Was Always Inevitable, Now It Is Imminent
ROU Ever Heard Of (Your Homeworld Here)? Me Neither
ROU Gun With a Ship Attached
GSV Outside Context Solution
GSV Automated Capitalism
ROU A Grain Of Sufficient Velocity
(d)LOU What's A Tooth File, Doc?
>>47567789
>GSV Outside Context Solution
I like this. -SV's are kinda hard to make names for.
ROU's are easy because even in-universe they're described as crude.
VFP Not In The Primary Sensor Cluster
>>47567688
Okay, you got me at these.
GCU Let Go
GCU The Touch Of Your Skin
GCU Self Aware
Damn
Not a dud amongst them.
Good thread guys and rip in piece iain m banks
MSV Half Now, The Rest Later
OU/e Mistake Not My Current State Of Joshing Gentle Peevishness For The Awesome And Terrible Majesty Of The Towering Seas Of Ire That Are Themselves The Mere Milquetoast Shallows Fringing My Vast Oceans Of Wrath.
GSV The Centre Holds
GOU Anarchy Loosed Upon The Galaxy, The
ROU (Thug Class) Full Of Passionate Intensity
MSV Slouching Beast
ROU Fisticuffs (Ask Your Mother)
ROU I Can't Hear You Over The Sound Of My Engines
GSV Getting Served Variably
ROU Rigidly Overwhelming Usurper
GCU Flying At The Speed Of Context
OU/e Read Between The Lines
What is this about? Also:
GOU: Who's ship is it anyway?
>>47571858
>What is this about?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_spacecraft_in_the_Culture_series
>>47571871
Thanks.
>>47567183
Also a good name for a Culture ship.
>>47572047
GSV Now That's A Table With Some Character
GOU Moe Moe Kyun~
VFS Eat My Space Dust
ROU Kinetic Negotiations
PS Kzinti Lesson
GSV You're Not In Kansas Anymore, But Deck 37-Tango's Pretty Close
>>47561671
I cam here to post this >>47566786 and applaud this master of ancient memes.
>Why did you sign up your son as "Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--" to our school, sir? Our entire student database seems to be gone.
>That's his name. Little Bobby Tables, we call him.
ROU My Nemesis on Stilts
GOU Dazed, Reeling, About To Break
In the same boat as an earlier anon, having not read any Cultureverse works, but judging by the general tone...
ROU The Fact That You Are Currently Reading This Proves That Your Life Choices Up To Now Have Been Suboptimal
GCU Apologetic Imperialist
>>47573509
Could fit, but Culture ships don't etch their names on their hull. Indeed, it can even be said that most of them don't even have hulls, because most of their defense comes from concentric fields of various make. But again, they do communicate, using their callsigns, so it might actually fit quite well.
>>47575699
GSV Incessantly Polite Pedantry
LSV Lost Sibling Vanished
>>47575745
GSV Sophistry And Vain Rhetoric
>>47575776
GSV Bearing The Heart Of Discussion
>>47575794
GSV The Strawgoat
VFP Intermittent Morality Reversal
LOU Not again
>>47561671
VFP I've Come a Long Way
>>47571293
Spoilers bro
GOU Well, / Thought It Was Funny
Superlifter Hands Off, Eyes Closed, Drunk
>>47561671
MSV Don't Stick It In Gravity Wells.
GOU Some Of Us Are More Starstuff Than Others
>GSV Space Hamster
>MSV Fantasy Island
>ROU Don't Judge My Race By How I Kill You
ROU The Precise Application of Extreme Force
ROU Inappropriate Naming Schema
GSV Smaller on the Inside
Superlifter Carrying Worlds on my Back, but Only Those Who Can Carry Themselves
Superlifter I'm With Pretentious Over There
>>47567688
Don't forget the sister ship:
ROU Live Hard, Die Fast, Leave Good-Looking Shipwrecks
>>47561671
Why do these ships give themselves stupid names? Are they glitched or something?
>>47578656
The Culture has a distinct irreverent bent.
>>47578585
>those Superlifter names
10/10
ROU On Time or It's Free
>>47578682
The Culture see war as a horrible thing, so see no reason to glorify warships while packing huge amounts of weapons and destructive tools on them. Therefore most of the offensive units have dumb crude names like "I said, I've got a big stick" and so on.
The rest are just whimsical like that.
>>47561671
Litany of Litany's Litany
GCV How Did That Get There?
GSV Want Some Ship With That Gun ?
GOU I Don't Break For Galaxies
ROU Do A Barrel Roll
MSV If You Can Read This It's Too Late
>>47578797
I'd forgotten that was even a category.
GCV Forever Engrossed In The Dullness Of Life
>>47578682
>>47578720
But it doesn't make sense. Idiot parents would give their children stupid names. Super smart computers wouldn't give themselves stupid names.
>>47578896
Is this bait?
GSV Sensors Registered Irrelevance
>>47578896
Culture ships are somewhat... Facetious. They're super intelligent IAs with a strange sense of humour
>>47578926
Nah, just someone who doesn't understand how a ship who can fuck solar systems would sport a name like "You'll Clean That Up Before You Leave".Hint: it's because it can fuck solar systems.
GSV To Radiant And Novel SelfGSV TRANS
PS Run Away to Infinity
GSV Pilot Error
>>47579019
>Ship minds aren't their names.
Well, they're probably not the serial number with which they're born, but they are one of their names nonetheless, probably the most important one.
VFP Hare, Tortoise - Me.
>>47578926
>>47578955
Whatever. I'm too pissed off by Wordbrain to think straight.
>>47578656
Because if you were a world leader and Earth was visited by aliens, would you rather have the ship be named "GCU Japanese Sex Kitten" or "Star Galleon Undefeatable"?
>>47579215
Or "Right Hand of God No. 5928"?
GCU He Started It
SCV I started it
ROU Machine Error
VFP Sensors Registered Relevance
GSV Get Some Originality You Hacks
GOU General Direction
ROU I Have The Need
>>47579215
What I would rather have doesn't matter. It's what the ship wants that matters, and I highly doubt that every single ship of that species wants to make itself the laughingstock of the multiverse.
>>47579354
>GSV Get Some Originality You Hacks
10/10
ROU Unreasonable Amount of Weapons
>>47579380
So you're saying the names need moreGravitas
GSV Additonal Pylons
GSV Contractual Parameter Adjustment
GSV Applied Aesthetics
VFP Neither Hail, Snow, Nebulae or C-Beams
GSV I Carry The Nails
>For want of a nail, shoe, horse, rider, etc etc
GSV Benign Insistence Of Frank Exchange
ROU Intangibles Delivery Service
ROU Fire, Forget, Reset
ROU Let's Settle This Like Civilized Beings Using Weapons Which Annihilate Star Systems
GSV Vow To Cooperate
ROU Vow To Defect
>>47579354
Superlifter I don't have the Need
Superlifter You Started It
GSV What Did I Just Say?
Superlifter You're Not The Boss Of Me
GSV I Am, Actually. Don't Make Me Get The Big Stick
ROU Wait, Did You Mean Me?
Superlifter He Started It
GCU Copyright Protection Violated
GSV I'm Just Going To Start Charging For Registry Name Changes
GSV What's the character limit on this field anywa
>>47579380
The thing is that they're not the laughingstock of the galaxy. They can be seen as pedant, proto-imperialistic, irrevocably depraved, naïve, hedonistic, far too moral for their own good, not moral enough, spoilsports, a cherished addition to life, evil, good, killjoys, but not the laughingstock of anything. Not since the Idiran War at least.
>>47579431
10/10.
>>47579447
Some of these don't really fit.
>>47579431
Oh heck no. Sincerity, believability, humility, yes, but not that meaningless word.
>>47579471
>Not since the Idiran War at least.
I've read that book, and I don't like one bit how the Culture were portrayed there in hindsight. They looked like North Korea pretending to be the Federation.
>>47579471
>Some of these don't really fit.Read it as if continuing from >>47579354
, in particular GSV Get Some Originality, You Hacks
ROU We did. You did. Yes we can. No.
>>47579380
Some have quite serious, or even poetic names as well.
>GCU Sweet and Full of Grace
>(d)ROU Xenophobe
>GCU Fate Amenable To Change
>GSV Wisdom Like Silence
>GSV Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The
>GSV Sleeper Service
>Conventional Wisdom
>Xenoglossicist
>GCU Bodhisattva, OAQS
>GSV Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
>FP Hylozoist
>etc.
>>47579600
To be honest, "Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The" and "Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly" are my two favorite ship names, with "Just the Washing Instruction Chip in Life's Rich Tapestry" a distant third, and "Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints" a distant fourth.
>>47579600
That's better.
>>47579679
>VFP Outstanding Contribution to the Historical Process
>FP Refreshingly Unconcerned With the Vulgar Exigencies of Veracity
>ROU Learned Response
>MSV Pressure Drop
>LOU Caconym
>GSV Unreliable Witness
>GSV Kakistocrat
>GSV Empiricist
>GOU Xenocrat
?
>ROU I have a hammer
>GSV Somebody your own size
>GCU one of ours
>>47579735
>Minds commit suicide
>>47579600
It seems the seriousness is correlated with being a GSV instead of a GCU. (there are however GSVs with silly names and GCUs with fancy names)
In general, the minds that run orbitals and larger GSVs tend to be more serious/prudish, and you have a hard time getting into special circumstances without a level of eccentricity. This might explain a lot of the culture's apparent inconsistencies, it presents a chaotic exterior while keeping things nice and sedate on the inside.
