Alright listen up, our inquisitorial overlords sent me a mission briefing through a form in a datapad:
We are suppossed to board and divert the course of an ork spacehulk that is set to crash against the surface of a planet in the Calixis Sector...
and to be in the lookout for suspicious activity, there's an inquisitor classified as rogue in this sector too apparently!
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1d4Chan: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_/tg/
Steam Group: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.
FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.
>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.
>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.
>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.
>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.
>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.
>>47523690
>After having read the form with the orders and the mission briefing he stays silent for a second.
Wow there's no actual directives here... just that "Board and divert the course of this Spacehulk." Order.
...
Am I the only one who gets the feeling we're always the ones sent first for the suicidal engagements? Not that I complain, just... an observation, it's like if they wanted to get rid of us.
>>47523705
>looks up from reading a book
of course they want to get rid of us, just look at us.
>>47523726
Well I understand why they'd want to get rid of you, you're a xeno! This is the Ordo Xenos!
>>47523705
The Inquisition always wants to get rid of 'the undesirables', shouldn't come as a surprise that they keep up the tradition.
>>47523736
keep your friends close and your enemies closer my good chap.
>>47523755
Should I take that as you identifying yourself as an enemy in public?
>>47523783
no, I'm simply pointing out a reason as to why I haven't been shot yet.
Alright so. Anyone has any plans on how to divert the course of a Space Hulk filled with Greenskins?
>>47523835
RAM IT!
>the Ork is grinning madly.
>>47523844
Uhm... any ideas that don't involve us getting killed in the process?
>>47523835
>>47523844
You could......like.......do what Bob said. We have a ship.....not sure the Captain would agree though....
>>47523877
Wait, that's it. The captain, he's navy! He must have experience dealing with these things, right?
>>47523900
Guess so......I usually focus on Tanks.
>continues to consume large amounts of Amasec and cheese.
I should really try to maintain a character to stay with the regiment in case we split up again.
>Walks through the ship, humming to herself, her drone flying next to her.
>>47523807
Oh. Hi, Larrs. Did I miss anything?
>>47523938
we're going to ram the space hulk apparently...
>continues to flick through his book, on closer inspection it's a colouring book.
>>47523956
That's not the plan until approved by the higher ups!
It would be a suicide and a waste of the Emperor's resources!
>>47523967
>swaps his book for a pop-up book and flicks through, giggling at spot the dogs adventure.
Better than whatever plan you have, what will your plan be? burn it? or write an angry letter to the orks?
>>47523956
Really? Well... That´s the first course of action?
>>47523967
Sounds like the perfect job for us. That´s probably why we keep getting these assignments.
>>47524000
I was actually thinking of looking for the captain in hopes for a plan.
>>47524018
>The Captain would be on the Bridge, should anyone go look for him.
>>47524009
>sighs
no it isn't but it's the only plan we have come up with, you got any ideas?
>puts the book down.
>>47524099
>>47524034
I'm pretty much going to go find the captain now...
>Leaves for the bridge
>>47524116
>The Captain eventually sees Eisen, after he's screened by the Security Personnel.
Yes, you have questions? Or are you just here to waste time.
>The Captain looks tired, not to mention extremely stressed.
>>47524163
Greetings, sir. I'm here to request aid in the next engagement. We've been ordered to divert the course of this space hulk without destroying it if at all possible.
>Eisen would show the captain the data gathered (and passed) on the hulk.
I'm afraid we have not been given any directives on how to do that though. And the men are just dumb enough to believe we're going to ram the ship against it.
I'm... smarter than that and thought you might have any past experience on dealing with Hulks that could not be allowed to be destroyed, sir.
>>47524099
No, I don´t.
>Stops to think for a moment.
Wait, maybe we could trick them somehow into crashing onto the planet on their own without boarding the hulk.
But how?
Kaptin, da big gitfinda sez there be no humies on da planet we approachin´. Big ships dere, though. Think we shoulda find some other place ´ta go lootin?
>The freeboota captain turns around and growls
Ya git don´t know what big ship means? Big gunz. We´ll just ram ´em an´ loot what´s left, as O.R.K. Hulky needz more dakka anywayz. Then we go see what da big ships be doing here. Ya think da humiez would protect da place if dere iz nothing to be looted?
>>47524207
Yes I'm aware that we were forced to divert course by the 'Inquisitive Individuals' that reside on this death trap. I happen to -command the ship-.
And nevermind that I am currently trying to do your damned job while you......oh I don't know......mope about.......whatever.
But yes, I'll throw some of the less trustworthy Armsmen at the ship. What they do to you once they get there is aaaaaaaaaaaal on you. I'll ready the Boarding Torpedoes.
Now are we done? I actually have work to do.
>>47524228I am suddenly filled with a sudden sense of panic.
>>47524253
Uhm... yes sir, thank you sir. I'll leave you with your duties. The Emperor protects.
>>47524211
sounds like a cowerdly Tau tactic...
I like it
>winks at her.
you know, we might die this evening.
>>47524211
That's the most stupid thing I ever heard, We are supposed NOT TO let it hit the planet, moron.
>Over the radio.
Alright everyone! We have confirmation: We're boarding this Hulk with Boarding Torpedoes and stopping it from crashing into Mara at all costs! We should be exiting Warp Transit soon enough so get your gear ready.
>>47524309
>his git finder pings.
>sniffs around him.
I KNOW THAT STENCH!
BOYS GET YA CRAP READY, WE'RE GONNA MEET AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE!
>>47524283
Err... thanks.
>Blushes a bit.
>>47524308
Ah. Sorry, chief. I think of something better next time. If there is a next time...
>Nods and starts to check her equipment.
>>47524338
More unnecessary drama. Great.
>>47524347
Rmph. I have enough trouble on my own without those silly ideas of yours messing up with the plans.
>Her eyes flash of blue for a second
And if I were you I wouldn't bring that pulse rifle today. Just saying.
>>47524338
Oh frak.
>Looks around frantically
Who's on point?
>>47524378
Okay. So I´ll go fetch my lasgun then?
>Walks away towards her quarters as fast as possible.
How do you know that anyway? A premonition?
>>47524387
We're going to board an ork-filled space hulk. Get your gear ready, trooper.
>>47524413
I am the one who does question, girl.
Speaking of which, how good are you at handling children?
>Meanwhile, in a different part of the Galaxy, Alice is standing on the Bridge of a Warship in Orbit, discussing operations with the Captain.Callidon, LIX and Sternbridge are welcome to also be there if needed.
>>47524417
>Checks equipment
Right, got my Shotgun and Hotshot Lasgun right here.
>>47524445
>Is there in case she's needed.
>>47524455
>looks at the newbie
you do have snacks don't you? everybody knows to pack snacks.
>>47524472
A couple of C-rations... Enough for 2 days combat. QM wouldn't give anymore than that.
>>47524445
What is our next operation, Inquisitor?
Fifteen boyz on a dead ork'z loot—
WAAAGH!!! an´ a bottle o´ squig beer!
Drink and Mork (or was it Gork?) had dun for da rest
WAAAGH!!! an´ a bottle o´ squig beer!
But one ork o´ hiz boyz alive,
Wut put to space was seventy-five.
See, ladz? freebootin´z always betta with a proppa song. Won´t be that long ´till we get to smash things if ya sing. See? Da big gitfinda sez dere iz a ship just a bit to da starboard.
>Um, boss. There ain´t no direction in space.
What? No directhunz? I´z da kaptin, an´ I sez dere be a ship to da starboard, so there be a ship to da starboard. Get it?
>But Kaptin, space-
>Krump
>>47524455
Don't forget your armor, trooper, make sure it's in good condition.
Who am I kidding...
Make sure it allows you to have enough mobility on the field, it won't stop Ork bullets, so might as well make sure it isn't blocking your arms movement.
>>47524444
Depends on if they´re from a sept or not. I handle the sept ones sligthly less inept.
>Almost adds an why to her answer before stoping herself.
Allthough tau children never liked me that much, except that one earth sept nutcase...
>>47524513Forgot to add name.
>>47524445
>Stands near the door
>>47524513
>slaps the back of her head
I didn't ask for the story of your life. I need to know if you can look after baby amelia here, since I wouldn't leave her with Mot and his attack dog again unless I was ordered by Verasii herself.
>>47524501
>Checks armor
Seals check.
Mask check.
Carapace check.
Backpack check
>Nods towards Corporal
Ready to rock and roll, Corporal.
>>47524531
Oh. I can do that, yes.
>Nods and looks a bit worried.
Am I to stay with her on the ship?
>>47524544
>observes the man from the other side of the room as he starts to play his guitar.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvoJ7qUh3y8
>I AM HERE
>where are you fuckers right now, cause Hank is in a cryopod waiting to be opened
>>47524544
Good to hear, trooper, you might just survive one more day out there, you're free to do whathever until we exit warp space, just be close to your post for when that happens.
>>47524562
Ugh... still not acknowledging protocol over music and-?
>He shuts up as the music goes on.
...
>Sighs.
That actually does sound nice, I'll give you that.
>>47524559
What, during the fight? No, since I will have to remain on board. APPARENTLY, officials that can see into the future are not supposed to lead boarding actions because they are more useful directing actions. Bullshit. But when you are back you will definitely.
>>47524577Mid warp travel, towards an ork space hulk, with a mission to divert its course so it doesn't crash into the planet Mara, Calixis Sector.
>>47524471
>>47524494
>>47524519
Just a few extra days of business on Praetoria then we'll be off to the Calixis Sector, to deal with our 'colleague'.
Oh and Adept Novus, my father agreed with my assessment, we'll be bringing extra troops to Tranch with us.
>At one of the sensor stations, a Technician quietly reports a minor disturbance in the Warp.Which reads: Deal with the upcoming 'disturbance' -no combat this time- then 'jump forward' to leaving for Calixis Day
>>47524562
>drops out off the vent with a big panel reading "Sorry" on it dangling from her neck
>>47524625
>Turns shotgun towards noise
Throne-dammit, Miranda. I almost shot you.
>>47524618
Excellent. That makes obliterating the opposition that much easier.
>>47524614
>ok well
>fuck logic
>SUDDENLY A CRYOPOD IS BY YOU
>HOW? THE GALAXY MAY NEVER KNOW
>>47524625
>gets up and moves away from her.
>he's still pissed off but he's soft at heart.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PO4r9m_6Xk
>>47524671
>Inspects the Cryopod.
This is not in any inventory form, does the Quartermaster know this thing is here? Also what's doing here and not in cargo?
>>47524658
>waves the "sorry" panel toward him
>>47524684
How w-was I supposed to know!?
>>47524702
it's pretty heavily implied that you don't eat people!
>he sighs and continues to play.
>>47524698
>Wipes panel
Says here DO NOT OPEN UNLESS IN COMBAT.
DO NOT OPEN THEN EITHER.
>>47524698
>in the window panel, you can see-
>hank's face.
>why is he in there.
>>47524718
Why do you even think I am here then...? I think we talked about m-my, ehm, eating habits.
I w-was just trying to give you a gift...
>>47524718
>Cough
Deathworlders do that.
>Cough.
>>47524671
>>47524698
>Inspects the contents of the Cryopod.
>>47524724
>>47524722
Uh...
That's not right... Since when is Hank an Eversor?
>>47524609
>Nods and walks towards her quarters.
I´m going to prepare myself then, chief.
>As she walks away, Sam starts to mutter something about downloading an imperial child raising guide and a sept version.
>>47524739
>uh oh
>it starts tipping over!
>>47524747
>someone is tugging at your sleeve
>>47524747
>Still inspecting the pod, Eisen turns his head and points at Sam.
Trooper! If I ever learn that the kid starts speaking Tau or whathever language it is the blueberries have I'm making you clean the latrines from decks 10 to 17, that includes the one the Ogryns... and Bob... use.
>>47524754
Frak,,,frakfrakfrak
>Holds up tank
Miranda! Mot! Lend a hand?
>>47524754
>Tries to hold it.
Someone come lend me a hand -and an explanation- on this!
>>47524664
Heavy Infantry, Artillery, Royal Engineers, some tanks and APCs, we'll have the works.
>The same Technician from before steps over to address both Alice and the Captain in hushed tones.
Well people......uh.....we might have to go exploring. Something just 'poofed' out of the Warp. No lifesigns and there's nothing with any 'bad voodoo' on board either, since the Astropath and Navigator haven't tried to devour the Crew while their skin explodes into Servoskulls.
Uh......lets head to the Hanger and get kitted out?
>>47524734
>sighs loudly
I know that but... oh forget it.
>>47524739
I know that now!
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>47524779
>>47524778
>rolling for how heavy it is, 1d20
>>47524788
Agreed. I´m interested myself in seeing what this... Anomaly is.
>>47524812
>>47524779
>>47524778
>wow
>it is not heavy at all
>it feels ridiculously light
>what the fuck
>>47524788
Right Behind you, Ma'am
>>47524796
...
Am I forgiven? Because I went through all the "standard" punishment from Lady Anna already and t-that was quite hard...
>>47524778
J-just blow it up.
>>47524824
>Puts it back into place
Uh, Corporal. We really, really get them cogboys to look at it.
>>47524837
I forgive you... I just, I just need some time.
>>47524824
Oh well that wasn't that bad...
Trooper Boer, any idea why this man is in here... or if he is alive, even?
>>47524862
Dunno, Corporal. Best guess, something to throw at them Greenskins. Or our pointman.
>>47524849
Uh well that would be nice but you see...
We ran into some Warpsmith son of a Grox.
We have no cogboys... yet.
>>47524851
How much time? How much?
>she has a very sorry stare, mind you
>you feel like you are kicking a puppy
>a man eating puppy but nonetheless.
>>47524757
Hey, Sam! Who's the kid?
>>47524888
after this mission, I'll think long and hard over the duration of this mission...
>he's looking past her at the wall as he talks.
>>47524924
>a knife magically appears just before his eyes
>>47524849
>>47524862
>It begins defrosting hank
>and he starts coughing hard
>>47524939
>he sighs
can we not resort to this?
>>47524942
>Points Shotgun at Hank's head
If he starts REEEing, I'm turning his head into grokbait.
>>47524757
>Stops before noticing Amelia.
Hello, Amelia. Is... everything allrigth? Ah, how about I show you my room first? Since I´m going to be the one taking care of you soon.
>Sam is not really sure how to handle the situation.
>>47524767
So ork and eldar are fine? Not that I can speak them, but still... Wait, how many duties do I have to clean up now? Gary´s socks still need to be washed...
>>47524897
A girl someone picked up on the last planet. Her name is Amelia.
>Sam proceeds to stand still in the hallway and looks at the girl holding her sleeve.
Nah, there is probably no connection...
>>47524897
>Nudges his arm and whispers through the gasmask.
You don't want to get involved with that child, boy, if she's who the rest of us believe she is, she's dangerous.
Anyhow. This Cryopod is a big leak in protocol. Someone should have been notified of this Cryopod being here! And someone should have left it here in the first place.
Look at the Cryopod's console, see what you can find of the poor bastard, I doubt he's storaged there in purpo-
>>47524942
Throne damn...
Forget the last order, just be ready to shoot if shit goes south.
>Tries to help Hank stand up.
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>47524966
>Knife falls on the floor
>But you get punched in the face
>>47524815
>>47524834
Uh......far as we can tell from long range, it's a ship of some sort, but like I said, crew are dead and there's nothing 'offensive' there, Psychically at least.
>Alice leads the group to the Hangar, equipping herself with Carapace, Shotgun, Shock Maul and Boarding Shield at the nearby armoury, before lumbering up the ramp to the Thunderhawk.
>>47524969
You should introduce yourself first, miss Hawthorn.
That is the proper way to behave.
>>47524980
>Not taking eyes off Hank
Yo Lovebirds! Maybe do this later! when we might have an Eversor in the Hanger.
>>47524980
>dodges the blow and walks away.
I'm not stooping to your level.
>>47524967
>>47524974
>he coughs hard
>shivering
S-S-Sir?
>>47524969
Of course they're not! But as you don't speak them, I don't have the need to notify you about that. And you have your usual duties aside from those that Sergeant Malak assigned... unless the child starts speaking words like "Shas'vesa" or... "Aun'Fio" or things like that.
>His knowledge of Tau vocabulary is clearly limited.
>>47525010
Trooper, what the hell happenned to you?! What were you doing in a god damn Cryopod?! These things are mostly for eversors! And for the record, if you tell me you just wanted to take a nap and don't feel hot I'm executing here right now!
Well, well... Da new ship be keeping position in da Waaghspace.
>Boss, da saying is Warpsace...
Zog off!
>Krump
Maybe we´ll have to leave it. Too small to be worth chasing. Mekboy, pour in da red fuel! We needz ta get to smashin´ before this nosy git wakes up again!
>>47524986
>She follows with her usual equipment.
>>47524986
>Sees Inquisitor entering Hanger
>Shotgun still aimed at Hanks head
INQUISITOR ON DECK! MA'AM! IT'S NOT SAFE HERE. POSSIBLE ROGUE EVERSOR
>>47525061Alice and company on another ship I'm afraid... and another system what's so ever
>>47525008
>>47524998
>Miranda just kind of freezes in place, without even picking up her knife
>>47524986
Intriguing, isn´t it? Whatever happened, I want to find out. Especially as there seems to be no... Problematic occupants, Like daemons.
>>47525061So, disregard this? Kinda hard to keep track of who's who on which ship
>>47525088how did I manage to fail this hard?
>>47525098Yeah we know, don't worry you're not the first who fucks up with space and time continuum.
>>47525098No worries. But basically, everyone but Delta-LIX, Vice-Admiral Sternbridge, Adept Novus and.....well anyone with the surname 'Wellesley' are on the same ship as Pryce.
>>47525058
>>47525088
>With the passengers(Possibly including Sternbridge) onboard the Thunderhawk seals up and takes off, headed for the vessel.
Hrmh........Battleship, Gloriana-Class. According to the Auspex, it's intact.....but that doesn't explain the complete lack of crew, or how it got here. Any suggestions?
>>47525033
>Tightens grip on Shotgun
Corporal, permission to blow his brains out?
>>47525124
Lost in the warp, Crew died out of old age or went insane and killed each other?
>She just noticed how much of a mood killer she's just sound like.
Well that's my opinion at least.
>>47525033
>>47525138
W-Wh-s- What?
I-I have n-no idea w-what's happening, sir.
>>47525124
>>47525150
I´d throw my guess on internal strife, like the one Delta-LIX suggested.
>>47525138
Negative this is Hank, he's a trooper, he was with the regiment in Gospyria when I was first assigned to radio operator duties... what was he doing inside one of these? Call in medical, he'll need some time to recover from the cryostasis.
>>47525157
Relax, trooper, you've been in cryostasis, confusion is normal. How many fingers do you see here.
>He'd place his hand with all five open fingers in front of Hank's face.
>>47524996
Oh. Yes, sorry. The name is Samantha Hawthorn, I´m a trooper originally sent here to act as an liaison for an tau diplomat.
>Wait, what? Looks confused for a moment before catching herself.
Did the Chief tell you about me or did you overhear my name somewhere?
>>47525011
Going to fullfill them one after another then. Amelia comes first rigth now.
>Looks at Eisen and smiles.
Shas´vesa isn´t the rigth term. Shas´ and assorted syllabees mean a military rank. Maybe you mean Gue´vesa as in Human Helper? Aun and Fio are the ethereal and earth caste respectivelly. I don´t wish to offend you, should I write the tau military structure down for later references?
>>47525175
>Lowers shotgun and activates voxcom
Larrs! One Popsicle guardsman in need of assistance
>>47525157
>>47525175
I trained as a medic, he'll be alright in my hands
>proceeds to slap the trooper cross the face
wake up!
>>47525201
F-Five, sir.
>>47525206
Just... go complete your task, trooper, don't play with my patience.
>>47525211
I don't think that's a good ide-
>>47525221
Ah nevermind then.
>>47525221
Ow!
>stumbles into the cryopod and knocks it over
>it smashes as it hits the ground, besides being so fucking light
>>47525226
Well at least you can see normaly, alright.
I feel sorry for you though, it has to be larrs the one that takes care of you.
>>47525206
The sightless lady told me you are Samantha Hawthron and that I shouldn't listen to everything you say about aliens.
>>47525150
>>47525168
Hrmh..well those ideas are.....incredibly pessimistic, but it's not like I've got any better ones.
>The Thunderhawk lands in one of the Battleship's Hangers and the ramp drops.
>Alice sprints out and drops the shield to defend against......nothing, for there are no hostiles. Just a Bay full of dusty equipment.
Well.....uh....this is creepy.
Rolled 4 + 110 (1d10 + 110)
>>47525240
>Checking cryotube
>>47525240
>>47525244
well he can feel pain, so he's not got the numb, he'll be fine, just get him a warm drink
>walks towards Sam
>>47525257
what's this about Xenos?
>>47525264
Ah frak, Corporal. Looks like the cryotube's busted up.
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>47525264Rerolling cuz fk autocorrect
>>47525244
Uh..sir..h-how long have i b-been away?
>>47525273
......
>has a bad feeling already
>>47525277Aaaaaaannddd still same outcome. Hooray! :\/
Orkspeed ahead! We have a humie treasure stash to loot, boyz!
>The space hulk starts to accelerate, although it is slow even by space hulk standards
Did you grots paint da hull red like I told ya?
>No, boss, da red paint ran out so we painted the rest blue fer lukk.
Eh, fine. But When we have more red paint, ya gitz will paint over da blue with it, Or I´ll paint it red with yer bludd!
>>47525260
>Uses the Phase Sword as a lantern to provide light.
Should we make our way to the bridge first? See if they left any recordings of what happenned and check if the life support systems will hold for a while longer?
>>47525302
Uhm...
What's the last you remember fighting against trooper?
>>47525326We should probably start exiting warp-space.
>>47525260
>>47525330
I´d like to make a more thorough investigation, but considering it may disappear back into the warp at any moment as far as I know, the bridge should be enough.
>>47525273You know what I don't feel like playing at all, I am not sure why I am doing it. I'll take my leave.
>>47525231
Rigth, will do that now, corporal.
>Realises she overstepped her bonds and walks away.
>>47525257
The chief did? Okay.But you know, some things about aliens can be interesting. Not the ones I would talk about, but still...
>Leads Amelia towards her quarters tipping something into an dataslate.
But are there any stories you want to hear? Not everything I say is about aliens.
>>47525330
>>47525364
If we can stop it from dropping into the Warp, maybe we can tow it to a Drydock?
>Alice leads the group through the corridors towards what she, if asked, would claim is definetly the direction of the bridge.
It seems that the Emergency Power is working at least. Maybe once we make the ship safe we can head down to Engineering and get the main reactor working?
>>47525346
A buncha' h-heretics in a town under s-siege, sir.
>>47525404Ah. Okay. Good luck and thanks.
>>47525365oh, bye then
>>47525420
Powering the main reactor would be unnecessary for an investigation, but for the recovery of the ship... We should first focus on finding out if we truly want to recover this ship.
>>47525426
Hm... counting the months in warpspace as realspace time you've been... out for about 4-6 months.
>>47525420
>>47525485
I agree with him.
>>47525499
W-What?! What's h-happened in those months?
>>47525545
Oh nothing really.
We killed the heretics, then slayed the xeno, then killed the heretics again... then we killed more heretics... then the Malleus party left... then we killed more heretics... then Jackson got captured by other inquisitors... then we fred him... and then killed more heretics.
Your everyday day in the regiment if you ask me.
>>47525485
>>47525526
Fair enough, but.......I can't feel anything odd. Just like the ship popped out here for no evil reason. Just...appeared.
>As she leads the group closer to the bridge, Alice seems more and more at ease.
I don't think we'll need to destroy the ship. Just recover it......and keep the Mechanicus in the dark.....at least initially.
>sitting in the corner he starts to play.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYqDq4ojyHg
>>47525579
I don't see how will that help, the Mechanicus is ussually the guys we should be running to to fix this mess.
>Looks around.
Seen any bodies... or remains yet?
>>47525572
..
W-Well that's all we-.
..huheugh...
>stumbles and collapses
>is ko'd, cause i gotta go
>In her quarters several crashing noises can be heard, before Sam walks out holding her pulserifle and wearing her helmet. The drone isn´t with her.
>>47525579
>>47525615
Often the road to ruin is paved with good reasons... No corpses yet. Most likely all rotted away or were thrown out of an airlock... Or huddled together in one of the rooms.
>>47525630
Carry him to medbay, give him somewhere to rest.
>>47525603
Yo, Mot. Where's your gear man?
>>47525683
Aye, aye, Corporal.
>Hefts Hank's body over to fireman carry and sprints to medbay
>>47525691
>gestures to his backpack and shotgun.
all here.
>Space hulk is picking up some speed
>at this rate it will be in the Imperial blockade´s range in a few hours
>This otherwise normal soldier wakes up to the familiar sound of the voices in his head. He is unfortunately used to it by now; warp travel has been particularly hard on him for some reason. But he needn't talk of it. All he needs is prayer.
>He rolls to the side of his bunk and mutters prayers to the Emperor, as is his routine, and gathers his lasgun and gear.
Another blasted day. But the good work won't do itself!
>>47525615
>>47525668
I....nevermind, lets just find out what happened.
>Eventually the group reaches the bridge, which Alice opens by punching in a keycode.
>This reveals that the consoles are all active, if less efficiently, given the lower power.
This makes things easier?
>Alice looks to Callidon for guidance.
>>47525634
>Walks through the ship,looking around the hallways.
>>47525746
>pulls a bottle of rotgut from Mots pack
Alright boys, where we at?
>>47525857
>Looks around the room, looking for possible hostiles or dangers.
>Ceaun steps into the halls themselves, humming a tune with unusual joviality. On his way to the mess, he gives a friendly wave to Sam. Not that he knows her. Just being polite, whilst thinking typical anti-xeno sentiments.
>>47525877
defend the planet stop the orks ect. ect.
>>47525877
>Returning from the medbay, and salutes the Lt.
Sir, boarding an Ork Space Hulk, sir!
>>47525857
Hmm, let´s see. ship logs, flight record, carried supplies, medical records of the crew, half a year prior to the last log entry should suffice. Copying data into a dataslate for later review.
"Throne Agent's lo- I mean Interrogator's log. M41.999.Today. After overthrowing 3 inept nobilities and replacing them with a Imperial-Humanist Democracy, a Meritocratic Oligarchy, and a Theocratic Corporatist Tchokchky Concern..."
>Greely pauses, flicks a Decius XIII Bobblehead and smiles fondly.
"All from a desk, remotely, to prove I can, I have been awarded the title of Interrogator and permission to return to the Former Penal Regiment, unofficially known as "Verasii's First Deniables."
"This has come at the net expense of three million thrones, a dozen friendly duels, three times that in unfriendly ones, four meritless witch hunts, one merited witch hunt, a race war, a continental exeterminatus, and a net gain of this semi-operational punisher-class cruiser and a roshambeau match to be invoked at my discretion."
"Clearly, my way works better."
>Looks at the star map
"That can't be right. A Blockade, out here?
Astropath, send them our clearances and see what's what."
>>47525940
>>47525934
Oh, so that's why the wall pipes were exploding at regular intervals.
Attention Everyone, we should be exiting warpspace in... 60 seconds...
>>47526015
What´s this? An Interrogator? What would be your business here?
Leaving warpspace? Finally, some respite. I better look over my orders again, now that I can think straight.
>He considers that thinking aloud could be detrimental.
Nah.
>>47526024
30 seconds!
>>47525901
>>47525946
>There is no danger present on the bridge.
>The Records however detail fairly normal supply consumption, both Medical and Regular, no flights -The reason given as being trapped in the Warp-, Medical Records read the crew as mostly deceased.
>The Logs state that the cause for the ship being stuck in the Warp was Sabotage, confirmed by Heretical forces, taking an 'extended' period to repair.
>>47526015THE MAN HIMSELF RETURNS.
>>47526024
>Starts panicking
Oh frakfrakfrak
>Checks equipment.
Double barrel shotgun check.
Hotshot lasgun check.
Seals check.
Mask check.
Carapace check.
Backpack check.
Frags check.
Kraks check.
Knife check.
>Calms down with deep breaths.
I am the Emperor's instrument.
My guns his will.
My body his tools.
Though I fall, others will take my place.
Burn the witch, kill the heretic, slay the Xenos.
Ave Imperator.
>Eyes turned dead cold with slow breaths.
Trooper Boer reporting for duty sir.
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
>The ship exits warpspace.
Just out of schedule as I expected. And they said their calculus charts were up to protocol, fuckers are one hour later...
ALRIGHT LADIES! EVERYONE TO THE BOARDING TORPEDOES WE'VE GOT TO MOVE THAT SPACE HULK AWAY FROM IT'S CURRENT TRAJECTORY AND WE HAVE TO HAVE IT DONE BY YESTERDAY, MOVE, PRONTO!
>>47526063
"Thro-eh, Interrogator Greely, trying to re-establish contact with an Inquisition resource. Whats your sitrep?"
>>47526092
Area seems clear enough...
>>47526015Glad to have you back, man.
>>47526092
Interesting. Have a look at this, Alice. It seems this ship was sabotaged. "Heretical forces"... Most likely refers to Chaos followers, as usual.
>>47526119
>boards as quickly as he can.
we gonna kill some greenskins, I hope Bob is okay with this.
>He fingers through his papers while nearing the mess.
Board and... mhm... muster at... wait. At time- to the boarding torpedoes! Feth!
>He immediately hauls ass to the torpedoes.
>>47526119
>Enters closest boarding torpedo.
>>47526151
trust me, killin that piece of squigshit is gunna be ma pleasure.
>boards as well.
>>47526119
>Follows a few soldiers to the torpedoes before boarding and remaining silent.
>>47526119
As I sed. It be a ship, earlier than expectuned. Singing orky songs really makes time fly. Also, It´s on starboard, got that?
>The orks on bridge all nod their approval
Alright, starboard kannonz, open fire!
>Ork accuracy initiated
>>47526179
Good because you might be pivotal to make this space hulk turn around.
>Boards a torpedo too.
>Pets his flamer, as if it was a kitten.
I can already smell their skins burning.
>>47526119
>A couple of squads of Armsmen arrive and enter the boarding torpedoes.
>They say nothing, but they don't seem particularly pleased.
>>47526121
Situation is under control. A space hulk approaches quarantine zone, but our macrocannons will make short work of it.
Rolled 2, 8, 9, 16 - 10 = 25 (4d20 - 10)
>>47526215
>>47526143
I'm glad.....we'd be....horribly outgunned.
>>47526148
Hrmh.......does it say when it left 'Realspace'?
>The Logs would state that the vessel entered the Warp in the middle of Y149 M33.
>>47526287Well, my brain is not cooperating today.
>he slips inside the nearest torpedo and sits awkwardly between two angry looking guardsmen.
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>47526287
>The torpedo launches.(Rolling to see if I run into the only roll above ten the orks have had.)
>>47526313
This is... more than eight thousand years ago. This ship has been in the warp for thousands of years!
Rolled 68 (1d100)
>>47526338How does that work btw?
Rolled 20, 8, 19, 8 - 10 = 45 (4d20 - 10)
>>47526338
>The torpedo receives minimal damage
>The barrage continues
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>47526373
>>47523690Last paragraph.
>>47526338
>>47526415
>The torpedo is slightly off-course due to Ork shooting, but arrives on the hulk nonetheless.
KNOCK KNOCK YOU GREEN FUCKS! I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN TYBERIA, HAS YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND?
>Proceeds to put Promethium into everything green he sees via flamer.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EDwQkADxMk
Rolled 4, 12 = 16 (2d20)
>>47526287
>The Torpedo loaded with the Armsmen launches and, assumedly makes it to the target unmolested.
>They drop into the Hulk and engage the nearest Orks.
Rolled 3, 8, 4 - 5 = 10 (3d20 - 5)
>>47526425
We´z gettin´ boarded!
>The surviving orks start shooting back
>emerges from the crashed/landed torpedo
>proceeds to fire his shuriken pistol into a nearby grot before entering the vents, wanting to take a stealthy route to the WAAGH BOSS.
>>47526372
If this is the ship I think it is Callidon....she should have been commissioned during the Great Crusade......a beautiful ship. Poor buggers didn't deserve this fate.
But come, shall we try and find out how much time has passed for the crew?
>You hear a distant shout in Eldar language: Shun this place.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>47526484
I THOUGHT YOU BASTARDS PREFFERED MELEE COMBAT?! FUCKING COME CLOSER SO I CAN ROAST YOU ALL!
>Keeps burning anything that gets in range.
I'VE WAITED YEARS TO FINALLY FIGHT THE GREEN HORDE AGAIN!
>He seems absolutely Livid.
Rolled 12, 18 = 30 (2d20)
>>47526484
You'z already been boarded.
>fires plasma pistol
Forward!
>>47526373
>Crashes into hallway, flanking several Orks in cover.
>Opens up with full auto Hotshot Lasgun.
Surprise motherfucker!
>>47526270
>Greely turns away from the Astropath, thinking "They don't have shit."
"Captain, have the Interceptors prepared."
>The captain hits her comm
"Have interceptors ready for go at my word, Load AP missiles, port towards enemy!"
>she pinches a keloid burn mark on her face, a tic Greely still hasn't learned to ignore.
>>47526513
What ship are you thinking on?
>Her curiosity seems picked.
>She's still on a look-out for possible dangers.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>47526484
>Fires one shot with her pulserifle before disappearing behind the torpedo and hiding.
Rolled 15, 6, 4 = 25 (3d20)
>>47526565
Come getsum you sunsofbitches!
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>47526484
>charges into the fray, smashing past the Orks and ripping a grot in half
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>47526590
nice shot!
>fires at the Ork charging at the two of them.
>>47526427
>The orkz fight back even as they take some casualties
>>47526534
Watch me boyz, I´z gonna tear that humie a new-
>>47526555
>two of the orks fall and the rest start making hasty fortifications
>>47526565
>>47526601
Regroup, gitz, don´t let ´em... flank ya.
>>47526590
>The biggest of the remaining orks falls over, missing his head
>>47526611
Mozgul? Iz dat really you?
>>47526635
>Shrugs off the shot and keeps charging
>>47526533
meant to be for >>47526487
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>47526660
YES IT IS! WHERE IS THAT SQUIGSHIT FOR BRAINZ YA BOYS CALL A WAAGHBOSS!?
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>47526660
>Laughing like a maniac beneath the gasmask, and blinded by the rage of a thousand suns, Eisen keeps burning the green tide whenever he can, almost hitting Bob with holy promethium.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPPXnU4vR2k
>>47526573
T-the....uh........
>Alice rubs her forehead a little.
The 'Divinus Ultor', Gloriana-Class Battleship that was the Flagship of an Expeditionary Fleet during the Great Crusade.....one thousand and thirty third, if memory serves.
Rolled 10, 13 = 23 (2d20)
>>47526660
>The shots mostly bounce off the Armsmens Boarding Shields, before the men pop up and return fire.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>47526635
>>47526660
>Nods and fires at the charging ork from behind the torpedo.
>Doesn´t seem to be really participating in the figth.
>>47526746
That sounds... kind of cool actually.
>It's probably the first time in her life she uses the word "cool" out of a disguise.
Did it serve under any space marine legion?
>>47526533
>>47526703
>groans
why today of all days?
>>47526767Forgot my name again. The joys of visiting several boards...
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>47526660
Hey, fuckface! I've a present with your name on it!
>Throws a single frag grenade into the largest bunched up Orks.
"Simple Green want milk of humie kind-ness."
>The large but clearly dumb as hell ork grabs a Soldier and stuffs him into a oversized Jucier, slugging down the horrifying slurry.
"Dats sum zoggin' good humie kind-ness. Now its time to smash!"
>Simple Green begins looking for the biggest human he can find
Rolled 13, 1 = 14 (2d20)
>>47526736
On da bridge. probably smashin´ da nosy git he likes ´ta bully now.
>>47526743
>The fire consumes multiple orks
>>47526760
>The remaining orks charge (first roll)
>>47526767
>The ork merely slows down (second roll, add a -2 to the result)
>>47526792
>As the Ork positions crumble, the few that remain either escape to fight another day or are in middle of charging
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>47526825
fanks!
>punches the ork in the face with the powa klaw
>>47526772
>The Initiate decided this was a good time to step out from his hiding place.
"Imperial Fists likely."
>>47526840
>Holds his mostly separated jaw
I´ll be rootin ´fer ya! I always said you´z da bigga one!
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>47526825
HAHAHA! YES! BURN! BURN AND RUN! BURN YOU FUCKS! BUUUURN LIKE TYBERIA DID! BURN!
>After a few minutes of burning orks that are already dead, Eisen would stop for a second.
Oh boy... I'm so getting a lho-stick after this.
>Charges onto the next wave of orks, flamer first.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>47526825
>Switching over to Shotgun
Say Hello to my Boomstick!
Rolled 16 - 2 (1d20 - 2)
>>47526825
Fires again at the slowed down ork, before readjusting her helmet and taking several steps back.
>>47526880
"''E ain't dat big. If 'e woz, whyz 'e gotta stoop to bossin around umies?"
>Cracks his knuckles fightily
>>47526825
>He stumbles from a torpedo, fumbling his lasgun and, with shaky hands, securing his helmet on his head before ducking behind some scrap and firing at the Orks.
Ow, my head, ow, my leg...
>>47526880
>moves onwards.
fanks.
>>47526928
>Stops...
>Sighs...
youz gunna regret that.
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>47526825
>One of the squads is forced into close combat, while the other attempts to deal with the Orks that charged them.
>Can be seen moving into the ventilation system of the Space Hulk.
>One can only guess it came in a torpedo too.
>>47526861
Where did you come out from, I've just checked that area... and why aren't you with the regiment?
>>47526958
>Slips his hands up pair of squigs so as to use them as punching squigs, heedless of their protests. He adopts a brawling pose
"Come on, show me what you gotz."
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>47527008
>sighs louder
why you gotta foight me now?
really simples? we wuz boys together.
>swings a heavy fist.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>47526895
>The charge is cut short by great amounts of dakka
>not enough, though
>>47526899
The ork falls over but tries to get up
>>47526912
>one ork less infesting this galaxy
>>47526965
The orks press on the assault
>>47526772
>>47526861
Well.....I think the Im-
>Alice jumps as 149 reveals himself.
Emperor's Blood! Stop doing that!
B-but um....yes, the Imperial Fists.
>>47527006
>The Initiate shrugged, the camoline material coating his carapace armor and the pieces of ymgarl genestealer decorating it shimmered and shifted against the light.
"The Stalker does not lead his query as a Hunter would. Saer'rio taught us well. As for why I am here, why would I waste time in combat that I am versed in when I needs practice history, social and political structures? The Returning Trail requires me to learn and hone ALL senses and abilities."
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>47527038
>Reloads shotgun
Tenacious bastard ain't ya!
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>47527035
>jukes out of the way, barely avoiding the strike
"Gotta see who's top ork! Afta all, When'll we get anudda oppatunity like dis! Or has you forgotten how to be propa Okry?"
>Launches a squig-faced right hook, keeping his guard up with his left
Rolled 17, 1 = 18 (2d20)
>>47527038
Grrr...
>Takes cover.
>Takes grenade out of the beld.
>Pulls pin.
One Mississipi
Two Mississipies
Three Mississipies.
>Gets out of cover throws it (first roll) and continues charging (second roll)
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>47527109
>deflects the blow and swings an uppercut.
I am Orky!
>>47527115Belt* Also fuck, why my luck is so irregullar?
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>47527038
>Aims her pulsrifle at the nearest ork and fires, while muttering curses in tau.
It doesn´t sound like Sam´s voice.
>>47527081
>>47527096
Fair enough for me, but it's not me you have to convince.
>She turns her head to Alice, awaiting for an answer on what to do with the adept.
