Why doesn't your setting have Cactus Dryads practicing Flamenco?
>>47462792
Because the bard would get cactus quills in his dick, and I don't want the bard to get quills in his dick because I'm the fucking healer of the group and I hate healing people over stupid shit (thus why I hate my fucking group, except the GM who's awesome).
>>47462843
Thats as good a reason as any I guess.
It does, you're to busy on 4chan, its your turn
>>47462843
>le horny bard meme
dnd was a mistake
>>47463020
>Classes were a mistake
>>47463087
>Anon was a mistake.
>>47463128
>People were a mistake
>>47463128
>mistake was a mistake
>>47463144
>Everything was a mistake
>>47463146
>Mistake mistake a mistake.
>>47463144
>Creation was a mistake.
>>47462843
Also, storytiem plez?
Because we're in a jungle?
>>47463171
>>47463161
>>47463144
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
>>47463128
>>47463244
I think there's a theory out there that we aren't God's only creation, and that we are in fact a trial run that he doesn't like very much.
So he generally ignores us and only looks over once in a while and goes, "Man, that was sloppy, good thing I've improved a lot."
>>47463499
>humanity's face when we invent dimensional travel and god to gods second universe where everything is way better than ours
I bet they dont have to sit and listen about the fucking kardashians or similar shit whenever they turn on their radios.
>>47463555
We apologize for the inconvenience.
>>47463615
>cant even be mad at the people from the cool dimension because they are all to chill
Thanks a lot God.
>>47463555
Now I'm imagining a scenario where mankind or this universe's mankind (dimension zero) decides to jihad all the other dimensions and take their stuff simply because they're butthurt everyone else didn't need to go through things dimension zero had to go through to have nice things.
>>47463555
IT's worse.
They invented a technology to unload all of their bullshit into an alternate universe thinking it would not cause any harm.
Little did they realize it created our universe.
>>47463244
I knew I recognized that line. Well done, lad.
>>47464589
So, we're the Good Alternate Universe's Septic Tank.
Great.
>>47464970
Well clearly we must declare war on alternate universe.
>>47464999
Trips confirm, gas the alts, universe war now.
>>47465044
But they're all cool dudes.
>>47464999
>trips
>>47465044
>dubs
>>47465068
>ooh he's all over ya lad, like SHINGLES
>>47463615
I got that reference too
>>47465417I missed it, help pls
>>47465957
God's final message to the universe, from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
>>47465957It's a continued Hitchhiker's Guide reference, to pair with the one about the beginning of the universe above, which is from the first book.
In the third book, I think it was, Arthur and Marvin go on a journey to go see God's Final Message to His Creation, and find the message "We apologize for the inconvenience" emblazoned in giant, glowing letters at a tourist trap site. I think Arthur even buys a postcard.
>>47466050Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Right. Been a long time since I reread the series. Thank you two.
well i never thought this thread would turn out this way....
>>47464589
>"Why are you doing this!?"
>"YOU MADE US!"
>"No one told you to-"
>"You MADE us!"
>"Oh. Oh no. We didn't think it would-"
>"TOO LATE!"
>>47462792
My plant people are too bulky to Flamenco.
>>47466496
No excuse.
>>47463499
That's what the Yazidis believe.
>>47466050
Then Marvin dies :(
>>47462792
Because flamenco is Spanish and cactus people are Mexican.
>>47462792
It does now.
>>47462792
My setting has them, thank you very much. They're in the desert, so unfortunately my players won't meet them. Fuckers are desert-phobic, I tell you.
>>47462792
>be in the desert
>thirsty and starving
>suddenly a cactus girl shows up and is visibly worried about you
What do?
>>47470142
[attempts to sweat intensify]
>>47470142
I'm sure there's a breast feeding joke in here somewhere but I'm just too thirsty and/or not Bard enough to find it.
>>47468319
We have a winner.
>>47466099
No, it was So Long and Thanks for All the Fish.
>>47470192
das hot mang
>>47462792
It might. Are cacti considered trees?
Because the dryads have to be connected to trees.
The Huldrae, on the other hand, would probably know some moves.
>>47472766
Some are certainly big enough to be trees.
>>47462792
Flamenco dancing is more than a thousand years too far in advance of the time period the setting is based on.
>>47472766
Apparently, from what I've gotten from a friend of mine, some cacti ARE trees, while others are shrubs or vines. The more you know, I suppose.
>>47472839
No no, I get that, Saguaro are neat and all. But dryads are bound only to trees, so unless cacti are classified as a tree, no cactus dryad. Desert Huldrae yes, dryads no-
Wait, what's that one Aussie tree that's a frag grenade? That might work for an arid climate dryad.
>>47463020
>le thorny bard meme
You had one job, anon
>>47462792
Deserts r gay
>>47462792
Perhaps this universe just doesn't have Cactus Dryads practicing Flamence because, like all good things, they only exist in the alternate universe instead of our septic tank
deserts are the worst fucking biome
also black people come from deserts
Flamenco dancing is strictly prohibited in my world after one man discovered that mispronouncing the word has a very slight chance of granting wishes to the speaker, frequently with devastating consequences.
>>47473320
They come from the Savannah idiot, which is a form of prairie, not a desert as they are completely different biomes.
Go back to /pol/, and retake 7th grade biology you ignorant moron
>>47473370
What? Your school didn't have a dedicated ecology class instead of a bio class that covered ecology?
>>47462792
>Why doesn't your setting have Cactus Dryads practicing Flamenco?
Because of the Dryad holocaust.
>>47473619
It was an elective for people who to study it more, meanwhile they made sure in the general classes that everyone got their basic education in ecology, to better engender a respect for the field, and to possibly introduce prospect students into the field who had not had any previous opportunity to do so or learn of it.
Also, fuck off namefag
>>47462792
Because it's hard to flamenco when they're busy holding my almonds for me
>>47470192
Now along can win under about s what her "milk" would taste like.
>>47472646
Only if she derives pleasure from the act.
>>47474210
Wow autocorrect mangled that one.
>>47470142
Something about knocking her down and slurping the juices from between her thighs.
>>47473896
Are they... activated?
>>47473896
>not having an almond dryad slave
>>47474536
>almond milk
>>47462792
Because cacti aren't trees.
>>47473072
>"desert huldra"
>google it
>literally one result, which is a deviantart page of a snowflake OC.
>>47474261
What type of Wizard would I be if they weren't?
>>47474536
Nah, the Almond Dryad and isn't allowed to hold them. She has to stand buy and watch while eating her bowls of eggs
>>47462792
Dark sun.
That is all.
>>47463164
>Mistake mistake a nigger
>>47463988
So, angry physicist stays angry. What is the problem?
>>47473040
Your commitment to game settings is astounding and yet intimidating, just what do you use to find notes?
>>47473304
I mean you could try cutting a hole in it and pretending it moves. Just don't be sure you're the first to give it a go.
>>47463244
>slightly bittersweet brofist
>>47462843
There's no quills on the inside, anon.
>>47473072
>Wait, what's that one Aussie tree that's a frag grenade?
a Sandbox Tree dryad couldn't possibly be anything other than chaotic evil as fuck
>>47462792
Because my cactus dryads do Paso Doblé instead.
>>47473072
Not the tree your looking for, but I think pic related is considered a tree. That, or the Key Tree Cactus would be a better bet since its in the name.
>>47468115
To be fair, Marvin was... what, four times as old as the universe due to time-traveling shenanigans?
Though I was sad to lose the robot bro, yeah.
