>The royal uniform has been updated
>With access to glamoured armor sets, and a guise of the thespian for each guard, we now have a solid wall of muscled steel hidden behind an illusion of voluptuous beauty
>>47362977
BRB, doing this with my half-orc barbarian.
>>47362977
>an illusion of voluptuous beauty
but, Sire, our enemies have no eyes
>>47362977
Considering we're fighting trolls who go into a sex crazed battle rage at the sight of women, i can't imagine this will be effective. Especially considering on the battlefield rape of defeated women is common in these situations.
>>47362977
I could see an empire doing this to flaunt their wealth, but even then it would probably reserved to ceremonial guards only (for pomp and circumstance).
>>47362977
The good news: This is the new uniform
The bad news: It's unisex
>>47364435
>bad news
I could see this helping for exactly one battle. After that you're really just doing it for fun
>>47362977
Even the Forgotten Realms doesn't go this magical realm.
And it has a major NPC who polymorphs herself into a big hairy man since she enjoys manlove.
>>47364412
>SQUAD BROKEN
>>47364412
>rape of defeated women is common
which is why they'd fight to the death unless they value their life more than pride/dignity/whatever
this is all not considereing if the enemy doesn't enjoy the company of the dead if you know what i mean
either way, I'm thinking, it'd be interesting if before a battle they know they're going to lose the women warriors expose themselves to a bunch of diseases and/or slow acting contact contactable toxins
get raped / enemy force is now weakened by literal case of rotting crotch
or, if you don't want to go the Nurgle route, enchant the women so their fluids are powerful love potions (maybe feed love potions to them since their children?) and any enemy that rapes them will fall madly in love and do whatever they say
instant fifth column
>>47362977
>The enemies of the Royal Kingdom are made up entirely of chauvinists who end up encamping outside the national borders, demanding for "the REAL army" to show themselves and fight them.
>>47364595
That's...all kinds of stupid, and downright magic realm-y. In general you want to avoid fights you know that you're going to lose, and even if you're pinned with no retreat purposefully infecting yourself is going to make your survival (and regrouping) after the battle less likely. If the enemy is known to not take prisoners it's still better to fight to the last soldier instead of trying to give them a STD - because then you'd be dealing with AIDS trolls looting and raping in your countryside. Maybe some lone weirdo would do such a thing, but as a general practice it's just not workable.
>>47364595
Exactly how bad do you think STDs are? A case of burning pee and itchy groin isn't going to stop anybody, you didn't call in sick for that sorta thing back then. Man, there were famous military commanders with LEPROSY who still showed up to cleave face with broadswords.
>>47364366
BRING ME THEIR SKULLS!
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/oglaf/images/0/0d/Skulls.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110815082844
>>47364595
>which is why they'd fight to the death unless they value their life more than pride/dignity/whatever
They're women, what do you think. I don't have a source so it may just have been an urban legend, but I remember reading something about a bunch of Austrian women in the later stages of WWII refusing to flee from their "liberators" because they could always save their lives by just spreading their legs.
When push comes to shove, women have an INSANE advantage when it comes to staying alive and they're sure as hell going to use it.They are the "primary victims" of war, after all.
>>47364741
>Exactly how bad do you think STDs are?
um, you are aware that several of them can kill you... right?
>>47364972
The common cold can kill you, but it's not about to wipe out your entire army because the enemy left behind a guy with the sniffles.
>>47364983
I think you underestimate how hard syphillis fucked up Europe in the Renaissance. And keep in mind it started out with just a handful of Spanish sailors who fucked Aztec bitches, and ended up becoming one of the more deadly diseases in the post-plague era.
>>47364972
So can leprosy.
>>47364435
>bad news
>>47365021
It's not that easy to catch, dummy
>>47364435
>bad news
>>47365205
>Humon
>>47362977
>glamoured
Why bother with that when it's cheaper to get Gloryborn?
>>47365188
Look at it this way: Even supposing your biological warfare idea is significant enough to matter, it still won't kick in hard enough to stop the enemy from killing you until long after their army has left. Deadly STDs aren't exactly a fast-acting thing.
>>47362977
The only purpose I see in it is distraction, and the only people getting distracted are probably going to be the friendly troops.
>>47365205
>humon
>>47365205
>Humon
You're more of a faggot than OP.
>>47365234
>STDs aren't exactly a fast-acting thing.
maybe you just need to broaden your horizons when it comes to what counts as an STD
>>47365205
>Humon
Please kill yourself.
>>47365205
>Humon
>>47365226
>>47365260
>>47365282
>>47365303
>>47365405
I actually got it off /tg/ and had no idea where it was from. Maybe I should rename it to "guaranteed replies"?
>>47364741
>there were famous military commanders with LEPROSY who still showed up to cleave face with broadswords.
SAINT LAZARUS
A
I
N
T
L
A
Z
A
R
U
S
>>47362977
Hear-hear. I want those well-oiled muscled guards to guard my throne room starting tomorrow.
>>47362977
So are the guards men in female guises or women in male guises?
>>47365205
>manwhore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXZDtTyafV4
I've googled the guise of the Thespian, and from what I understand, you also take the stats of the disguise. So this would be exactly as effective as using actual beautiful women in the guard. Except for the king being able to jack off to the thought of all those men forced to dress up as skanky warrior women.
>>47362977
>the maiden queen is actually a series of men wearing a Guise of the Thespian handed down from ruler to ruler
>that's why her guard must also appear female
>>47366154
As if this was ever anything but OPs magical realm
>>47362977
the armor I can see but why the guise?
>>47362977
Explain this faggotry, OP. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
>>47366361
Because you can take the stats of the guise so now the king had fuck bitches, rule63, and domineering checked off in one go on his fetish bucket list. Also they can sire heirs so theres that too.
>>47366675
So the king is Elminster
>>47364741
And they made the best tanks too.
>>47364412
I have to ask, why do you have a faction of sex crazed rapist trolls in your setting?
>>47364741
>Exactly how bad do you think STDs are?
Do a GIS for benign syphilis.
>>47365008
It doesn't work on a timescale that would impact any but the most expansive military campaign. Syphilis takes years to reach the crippling stages. Infecting an enemy military that's already advanced into your territory with it won't save you; it'll just mean that your conqueror won't retain as many veterans from the conflict.
Who cares about STDs? You take the Guise off and it resets all your stats anyway. Instant cure disease.
>>47366782
Does removing the guise clear status effects? That seems entirely different from reverting stat buffs/debuffs. If you get level drained wearing a belt of giant strength, you aren't going to get your base STR back by dropping your pants.
If it does, though, I might look in to getting one for my character just to serve as ablative curse armor.
>>47366816
What does Polymorph say about debuffs when changing forms?
>>47366747
They're a cross between dragons dogma trolls that go berserk when seeing females and aim solely for them and that set of photos from where the pig trolls kill the men and rape the women, houses, livestock, and the drinking water which i figure would be the end result if an army of trolls in dragons dogma ever got together.
So far no ones figured it out as the military branch of current nation they're in believes strictly in the women are housewives while men work for a living or military service type of lifestyle and none of the party members rolled chicks, not even the lesbian.
And before you ask thats just that and 2 other nations that follow the traditional scheme, some have women warriors also fighting cause that shits hot and theres even an Isle of Lesbos ripoff inhabited by 8ft amazonians so its totally not sexist.
>>47362977
Do you know what really triggers me? The asymmetry.
Who wears a thigh boot and a boot? And make it an uniform even.
>>47366816
You know the guise is just a /tg/ homebrew, right? good luck getting your GM to accept it considering how unbalanced it is.
>>47366891
The king dictates so. It's for his onw personal pleasures. Do you see how that thigh boot goes all the way up to her vagina, if she just moves a little it probably rubs against it.
>>47366897
Really? I've seen it around now and then for so long I figured it must have been an item in some system or other. I just figured it was high-end disguise gear with some magical realm potential and ignored it since I don't really play stealthy types.
>>47367220
As far as I know it's a homebrew.
>>47368137
>>47367220
Yeah, it's based off the Mask of the Thespian.
>>47366782
>>47366154
If you're talking about the (Greater) Guise, it explicitly says that it only replaces your racial bonuses to stats.
>>47368209
Greater is a homebrew on the homebrew and weaker than the original though.
>>47364755
Why wouldn't you just link to the original Oglaf?
>>47366888
>Angry awful rapist trolls are your primary enemy that get stronger if they see women
You know, I can see the logic in wanting women to stay at home in this case.
>>47362977
Amazon tribe is actually a normal tribe where men use Guise of the Thespian to appear as warrior women.
Y/N?
This is just a gamble to get a harem yoiu horny old fuck
>>47369130
>gamble
>>47362977
Absolutely retarded for regular soldiers but works great for ceremonial guards or an elite force.
You'd have to have immense wealth and power to outfit an entire armor with Thespian guises, so much so that dragons would envy your horde.
But for perhaps an elite guard force, not only would they look fantastic, but they could swap disguises at a moment's notice to easily fool potential assassins.
>>47369934
>yoiu
>>47368487
Yes, well, until the Elder Ogres from Dragon's Dogma show up. In which case you should be hiding the men this time(Elder Ogres go bananas for men in the same way Ogres go berserk when encountering women - complete with blushing cheeks in the face and the butt).
>>47362977
Why not just create invisible weapons for spies then?
>>47364366
It's to boost morale for our own troops, dummy
Of course we wouldn't want to boost the morale of the enemy to succeed and make use of our beauty!
>>47365226
>>47365260
>>47365282
Wait what's going on?
>>47370284
>I don't know the first thing about motivating the troops, the post
Distractions stay off the battlefield and in the camps, no matter how motivating they are.
>>47370260
Yeah, but who the hell WANTS to visit bitterblack? At least cassardis looks nice and isn't lethal, mostly.
>>47370140
Harem is actually guard force? I kinda like it.
>>47370578
Now all we need is a younger king, cyberization technology, and distinct but easy to understand at a glance traits for each guards(wo)men and we got us a taiwanese movie picture machine show and we can finally get some revenue up in this bitch.
>>47370508
Clearly murderhobo-slash-gamblers who want to try their luck with those sweet, sweet cursed bitterblack equipment.
>>47365205
>sjws think this is a revolutionary concept
>>47370771
>this
I wore a bedazzled speedo and carried around my battleaxe from middle school to graduation and no one gave me shit or gasped at how new and innovative i was being.
>>47362977
"Hey, honored soldiers, do you want to look like sluts?"
>2 years later, the royal guard only numbers a handful of members.
>>47370620
>Alright Bob, here are your choices. Merilee, tsundere raven-haired. Linara, moeblob blonde. Versha, yandere redhead.
>>47370993
Gimme the redhead. She better be one of those pale ones, too. None of that freckle tan bullshit.
>>47370795
I'm glad I wasn't the only one doing that.
I feel less weird now.
>>47370771
well, you have to give them credit for something.
>>47371450
Pale woman from the northern provinces, recruit.
>>47371626
Good. I wanna be radiate as fuck.
>>47370620
>be huge viking guy
>be out all night celebrating your election to the royal guard
>hung over as fuck
>show up late on first day
>only black Guise left
>>47371711
Excellent. You'll do your king proud. In many ways.
>>47371766
>only black Guise left
i'm okay with that
>>47372260
Nah. BLACKblack. Not mixed black.
>>47372426
still okay with that
What are guises
time to desert I guess
>>47374106
You can't run away from the gps unit in your magically unbreakable chastity belt only the king has the key to. Standard issue to all recruits.
>>47374360
>Chastity belt
for what purpose
>>47374458
We've been over this. you're a citizen of the kings Realm. His Magical Realm.
>>47368178
brb making a setting where the kingdoms of the land are beset by a horrific plague of syphilis zombies.
>>47374516
>not wanting your loyal guards to be fertile and get knocked up by sundry people and creatures
Get into my magical realm, scrub
>>47374360
Fuck man, just use knock
>>47374645
Knock yourself into a vagina?
>>47375435
I Knocked your mom's vagina.
>>47375463
Don't knock it t'ill you've tried it.
>>47375655
Knock on wood i suppose.
>kingdom is known for its vast harems and brothels
>women are known all over the civilized world
>turns out the kingdom is just really good at making Guise of the Thespian
>pretty much everyone with money uses one at some point
>strictly kept secret from outsiders
>>47362977
>guise of the thespian for each guard
But Sire, we could irrigate a desert for that sort of money!
>>47374532
you've described the japanese red light district
you weird ass virgin motherfuckers
i can smell the stank
>>47379294
I would believe that if you have the right resources, making a magic item like that would be cheaper than the "resell price"
>>47365205
>humon
