GM
>"well the guy you're running after keep spending his turns moving 60 ft so you will never be able to catch him because you don't have a faster move speed"
>fight a boss for 2 fucking hours
>"oh lol that boss had a shitload of DR"
>never had us roll to notice we weren't doing any damage or anything
>spending several turns and almost all their spell slots dying and reviving each other while fighting a massive creature
>didn't think of going into the keep or using their environment, just used basic attacks and cantrips until it killed two of them and left
>>47288047
355 KB PNG
>"well the guy you're running after keep spending his turns moving 60 ft so you will never be able to catch him because you don't have a faster move speed"
Ok, what's the problem?
>>47288137
I don't get my way
>>47288137
Not him but it ignores any sort of stamina or athletics a character may have, any sort of ranged ability to impair movement, and is tantamount to a DM just saying that someone they can clearly see "they got away" and not having any rolls.
>>47288047
>players are investigating an ancient, abandoned castle
>Me: "So you step into this banquet hall. Unlike the rest of the castle, it is well-lit, clean, and vibrant. People are standing around, eating, and dancing to music played by a small ensemble.
>Fighter: "I look under the tables. Do these people have feet?"
>Me: "...Yes, they have feet."
>Fighter: *turns to rest of the group* "Okay guys we're good, they aren't ghosts."
>>47288338
if someone is faster than you then they can outrun you. Prolonged sprinting requires fortitude saves, but there isn't anything necessarily wrong with what the GM above did.
>>47288432
From the context, I take it not calling for those saves is what the DM did wrong.
>>47288047
>never had us roll to notice we weren't doing any damage or anything
The minimum he should be saying for each such hit is something like "you notice your strike landed squarely, but it didn't even scratch him". Either that, or "you notice your attacks are having no effect at all".
Players
>I'm going to spend exactly 5 seconds thinking up a plan that could not possibly work, then treat this plan like god's gift to gaming
>hey anon don't tell the DM I'm breaking the rules for my own benefit
>>47288452
how does OP know whether the GM was making saves?
>>47288630
The lack of sound from the dice rolling, and possible the explanation.
>>47288432
I think 60ft here means move action for 30 and action for another 30, which is what most medium races standard movement rate is.
OP is complaining that, while they do technically supposed to move at the same speed, in the narrative it is stupid that they won't get a change (a check) to catch up with him.
Also, if it's 5e OP is talking about, you have to start making endurance check after 3 rounds of running.
>>47288403
Best roleplaying of a fighter who dumped wis ever.
>>47288403
Not gonna lie, that's pretty great.
>>47288630
>how does OP know whether the GM was making saves?
No dice being rolled, GM doesn't appear to be thinking about it, he isn't looking up those rules, he doesn't know the players' save bonuses, he's not mentioning fatigue at all.
>>47288583
>>I'm going to spend exactly 5 seconds thinking up a plan that could not possibly work, then treat this plan like god's gift to gaming
Pic more related than you'd think.
>>47288752
In 3.5 you can Run, which gives you four times your move speed in a straight line.
>>47288752
>Also, if it's 5e OP is talking about, you have to start making endurance check after 3 rounds of running.
>have to start making endurance checks after less than a minute of running
I'd blame this on fatbeards, but even at my fattest and beardest I could run for a fucking minute.
>>47288047
Me
>Me - The crevasse is wide, you must cross it
>Player - How risky is it? Can I get across it?
>Me - its too far for you to jump, but the rogue could.
>Player - How risky is it? can I get across it?
>Me - you couldn't, but if someone else rigged up ropes
>Player - How risky is it? can I get across it?
>Me - what is your plan?
>Player - How risky is it? can I get across it?
>Me - that would depend on your plan and method.
>Player - How risky is it?
>Me - what is your plan?
>Player - can I get across it?
>WHAT IS YOUR PLAN TO ACCOMPLISH THIS BASIC TASK?
Fuckers didn't even try to come up with anything resembling a plan and we went back and forth like this until we ran out of time for the session.
>build character around something because he days I needed to for this game
>never comes up or does for 1/2 of 1 session for a 50 session campaign
>>47288999
You could take a run feat and get x5 and bonuses on run checks
>>47288811
>>47288870
Except he was being sincere. He also yelled out "what? no I stop him" whenever the rogue picked an NPC's pocket. It was one of those games.
I think he genuinely believed ghosts are always described with lower halves that just kinda trail off line in cartoons.
He still gets shit for it.
>>47289576
One the things I hate the most is when a player immediately goes "I TRY TO STOP HIM!" every time someone else does something they don't like.
>>47288630
OP here
the GM just straight up said right when the player went to go chase the NPC that there was no way to catch the NPC because they both have the same move speed. No rolls or anything.
>>47289678
Same. Which is why every time he did that, I said "you don't actually see him do that".
Though if you really want to trigger these guys:
>Rogue: "I pickpocket the mayor"
>Busybody: "I try to stop him!"
>GM: "You don't notice it."
>Busybody: "I roll notice!"
>GM: "Why are you rolling Notice?"
>>47288752
>Also, if it's 5e OP is talking about, you have to start making endurance check after 3 rounds of running.
3 plus constitution modifier, the DC for the checks is 10, and failure means you can keep running but get an exhaustion level. It takes five exhaustion levels to stop you from running. These exhaustion levels are special and go away if you sit down for an hour.
If you are have constitution modifier of +0, which is the human average...
>run 3 rounds before having to make checks starting round 4
>45% chance each round (4 and after) to gain an exhaustion level
>Average 16.11 rounds after you start running before you have to stop, minimum time is 8 rounds
So yeah, a person who is of average fitness, having the worst run of his life (1.8% chance) would be fucked after less than a minute, but most of the time he could get in roughly a minute and a half before having to stop.
>>47288137
>Ok, what's the problem?
Everyone moves the exact same speed unless they have special feats. As long as you keep sprinting nobody without feats will ever catch you. GM should have used some GM fiat to come up with a solution eg. roll and add your agility, he does the same for the target, whoever gets the higher number wins the chase. That or said "X has higher constitution so you will get tired before him and he will escape unless you shoot him or something" or "you have a higher constitution so you will eventually catch him."
>>47290250
This, really. A good GM should present several opportunities for a chase like that to end. Or at the very least not sandbag every attempt to end it by citing movement rules. Simply saying "oh you'll never catch him because of this 60 foot per round rule" is pretty damn lazy.
Players repeatedly insist that high rolls equals automatic success.
>"the crowd does not attack the priest"
>"but I rolled a 20!"
>"let me put it simply - you are a stranger who turned up in town and immediately started insulting people and pissing off the local leaders. The priest is a beloved local figure. Nothing you roll will convince the populace to abandon their deeply held religious convictions and friendly relations with this man and attck him."
>"but I rolled a 20!"
>"you failed, move on"
>"stop fucking railroading us"
From DM's perspective, regarding the players:
"What would [NPC] say if I said xxx?"
"I know how to make xxx in real life though, why doesn't my character?"
"Why should I have to buy a player's handbook? Can't you just print off all 200 relevant pages of it for me?"
"But I rolled a 20! Let me [ridiculous action]!"
"D&D 2nd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
"D&D 3rd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
"D&D 5th edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
Fuck my life, I need a new group.
>Trying to run a somewhat-dramatic scene where an NPC tells the players they have a macguffin that a dragon is hunting for, and they need to flee so he doesn't destroy their home.
>Player: "Lol fuck u haha i grab her tittys ha check this porn I found. I mean, no that's now what I say."
Fuck all of you.
>>47290419
>wasting your effort and creativity on shitty players
>>47290478
You have no idea how desperately I want a better group.
I'd drop these assholes in a second at the opportunity to play with people who actually want to be there and put some effort in.You can't understand my frustration at having wasted a campaign I really enjoy on these people and having it recorded.
>>47290419
>things that totally happened.
On one hand, it definitely is frustrating when players don't seem to actually care about playing the game.
On the other hand, don't feel hurt when not everyone is excited to see you act out your novel.
>>47288403
>Fighter: "I look under the tables. Do these people have feet?"
>Me: "...Yes, they have feet."
>Fighter: *turns to rest of the group* "Okay guys we're good, they aren't ghosts."
This player is a treasure.
>>47290514
Threadly reminder that not having a group is better than having a shitty group.
>>47290514are you on roll20?
>>47290600
Yes, but that's not really why it's hard to replace the group. It's about thelivestream channel that I put a ton of work creating and promoting and have become kind of attached to.
>>47290364
This is a great time for "no, but" GMing. You rolled super high? Cool! Instead of them turning on you or telling you to fuck off, you cast a shadow of doubt in a few people's minds.
There, now the player accomplished something and it's a thing that could lead to further plot development. Everyone is happy.
Had a DM have a cutpurse steal 1mil each off 5 players then immediately disappears down an alley and when the rogue with bullshit Run speed of around 760ft thanks to magic bullshit he bought chases after immediately the fucking pickpocket is gone. In an empty straight shot alley way that was maybe 5 squares long and 1 square away from the group.
He just wanted to unfuck himself after he threw crazy money at us he thought we'd never get cause his form of difficulty adjustment is just add more goblins to the goblin cave.
We just wanted to buy a nation and turn that shit into army simulator to end that boring and monotonous campaign of "impossible" fetch quests. This would have meant he would have had to step down and let foreverDM take the helm again cause he could barely keep a story for 5 people straight let alone armies and nations.
He even threw a damn hissy fit and left before foreverDM fiated that cutpurse bullshit and we started having fun again.
Other than that our DM before ForeverDM was trap happy and had to implement harsh punishment through unfortunate events whenever we used a safety stick to test for traps.
>test a room by shoving a 50 foot 10 segmented pole through the door
>proceed to jingle keys on end of stick
>pull pole back and attach bag of marbles with really a long string
>shove stick back in and drop the marbles
>still nothing
>wizard pulls out his bag'o'cats(a 60lb bag of holding with a breathing tube shoved through the opening full of cats)
>tie Cat #2418 with highwaymans hitch knot to pole
>put pole back into room
>swing pole around and gently bash it against walls
>nope. Nothing. Release the cat
>room is engulfed in flames
"Okay guys. You got me! You figured it out! Clapclap. Lets move on."
>undo pole just in time for all of us to be insta killed from behind by an indiana jones style boulder we neither heard or had a way of reaching us
>>47290519
>having a dramatic scene = DM is railroading the players into his pet novel
You're the fag who always wants to play a kender, aren't you.
>>47290630
Why not run a /tg/ group? If you run 5e, I'd love to join (if you're a decent game master).
>>47289798
To be fair, I usually let my players notice when a player is about to do something stupid or dangerous, like piss of the mayor of a town and maybe get punished/jailed.
Besides, if I couldn't stop fellow players from getting themselves killed in the first session when I'm playing, I would be pretty frustrated with the GM.
>>47290714
>Why not run a /tg/ group?
Because the idea makes me want to vomit. Also, because of the fact that you just made a post saying "Oh your group is bad? Just recruit a group so I can play!", which even if I had an opening in a game, is not how I would go about recruiting someone.
>>47290714
Because you'll have a bunch of people doing /tg/ memes or all making variants on some of the characters made here such as cultist-chan or faptau
>>47290792
Well also because /tg/ as a community is kind of ass. Player-supremacy, neckbeardism, as well as the fact that 90% of them would demand it be a PbP text game and that they be allowed to play their hombrew content that they learned about here on /tg/ as well as trying to make characters to re-create greentext stories they've read here while trying to create their own epic greentext pasta.
You'd be better off bathing in sewage.
>>47290704
>anyone who doesn't want to sit through my monologues is a lolrandum faggot
I'm just saying know your players, and know your game. If a consistent problem is your players telling you to stop talking them to death, then maybe it's not all on them. Players want NPCs to talk to them, not at them.
>>47290862
It's 99% more likely that the players are just shit.
>>47289155
I think that movement in 5e is supposed to be basically a dead sprint. You try sprinting for 18 seconds. Sure anyone can jog for a minute, but if you're going balls to the wall and also probably wearing armor and toting all sorts of other stuff, you're not gonna last very long
>>47290761
>"Oh your group is bad? Just recruit a group so I can play!"
>"omg tg my group is so bad. id do anything to get a better group"
>"NO I WILL NOT RUN A /TG/ GROUP, I HATE /TG/"
Yikes.
>>47290896
I have no doubt the players are shit. But the guy's attitude and the hyperbolic way he describes it makes me feel like he's probably not much better.
>>47290917
Yes, I'd love a better group.
That does not mean I want to waste my time trying to build a group from /tg/ in hopes that it's good. Just because I want a better group doesn't mean any group of randoms I assemble will somehow be better.
I have no reason to think good players can be recruited from /tg/, and finding out whether that is true or not would require investing time and energy to recruit and playtest randoms.
>>47290650
You've obviously never met my group. As far as they are concerned, a high roll equals automatic success at whatever they are trying to do, exactly as they want you t to happen, when they want it to happen. In their mind, Nat 20 means they can accomplish anything from building a cannon out of scrap to convincing the King to hand over the entire treasury along with his daughter and crown.
Plus they're an impatient bunch of fucks who lack any sense of subtlety. When they say "attack the priest" they don't mean ""erode his support" they mean "instant pitchforks and torches to burn him alive", and anything less than that is "railroading".
Would drop the group if they're was anyone else I knew wiling to play.
>>47290976
I agree with this sentiment. A lot of the people on /tg/ are just as bad as the horror stories that get posted.
>>47290989
Sounds like the perfect group for a military sci-fi game, Vietnam style.
>>47290843
Fuck, yeah I forgot about the people trying to recreate that luchador or that necromancer who wanted to make the world a better place. Shit I used to play dark heresy with a guy who made a tech priest who had 4chan in her brain and that made my head hurt.
Something that always bothers me is when players use out of game knowledge about real life stuff in game.
In one campaign we had a girl playing a kind of airheaded but socially skilled character. In real life this girl knows a shit ton of stuff about diving, sailing, etc.
Every time there was a boat or an underwater situation of any kind she would apply her real life knowledge as if her character was an expert on those things. I was making sure to keep my mouth shut (I'm a scuba diver as well) since my character wouldn't know anything about this stuff, and it just took me out of the immersion every time to have this girl who had no applicable skills in game suddenly pull out advanced facts and tactics for maintaining control of a sailing boat in a storm or how to safely dive into a wreck/cave. I had to bite my tongue not to call her out on it, but perhaps I should have. It's not like we couldn't have just asked some npc for advice and gotten the same information with some further roleplay anyway I suppose so maybe it just sped things up but still irks me...
>>47291828
I kinda get what you're talking about. My old group had a bunch of wikipedia scholars who knew a bunch of shit about pre-gunpowder military tactics. So they applied it to every situation they could, regardless of whether it made sense for their characters to know.
As a rule I generally prefer it when people don't sperg out about their IRL knowledge of stuff. There are a few exceptions. If someone knows a lot about police procedure, I won't begrudge them for applying that to their police officer character.
>>47289576
I think that's actually a thing in like, Asian mythologies, that ghosts don't have feet.
>>47291881
Exactly! Had she played a character that had at some point done sailing or scuba diving before that point it would have been fine, or if she came from a family of sailors etc.
Unfortunately neither of her two characters in the games I've played with her has had any sailor or scuba diving history and they still dump facts and statistics that change the games direction significantly.
It's great that you're knowledgeable about stuff in real life, but if it doesn't make sense for your character to know those things keep it to yourself, or perhaps discreetly ask the gm if it's OK for you to somehow pass the information to a character who logically would possess that information (after a potential roll if deemed necessary).
>>47292078
In fairness though when you're really knowledgeable about something it's really hard to voluntarily ignore what you know. Especially if you're some kind of professional, because then you're conditioned to feel your knowledge is common sense.
>>47291828
Jesus, tell me about it. I have a player that regardless of what character he plays, they all have in depth knowledge of how to make cheap explosives from everyday objects.
>>47289165
Welcome to Corneria. I like swords.
>>47288981
Is the answer "crashing this game"?
>>47289798
Notice is a passive thing, you shitbag. It's to, wait for it...NOTICE THINGS AROUND YOU.
For the most part, my group is pretty okay. I've got a guy who's very randumb and tries to hard to be funny, but he actually cracks out at least two really good jokes every week, a couple times to the degree that we had to stop the game for a couple minutes so everybody could catch their breath, so that offsets his annoying factor a bit.
I've also got a guy who's way too insistent. Like, I'm running a rules light homebrew from /tg/ and I have to BS stuff whenever situations or questions come up that the rules don't cover. I tend to rule towards whatever benefits my players at that given moment, but this guy is always trying to squeeze more. On top of that, he's one of those guys who has to always be right no matter what he's arguing about. The best example of this is roughly summed up as follows:
>group is raiding a Russian outpost while the main force is being drawn away
>only one member of the guard forces left
>they're trying to work it down but the dice are not agreeing with them
>suddenly something new airdrops in, lands on the guard, and wastes it like it's nothing
>from the smoking remains it looks at the party
>this thing is made from tech that nobody recognizes
>a couple of them are all ready to open fire
>the shyest guy in the group is hesitant
>all attempts at communication are met with no response, but it doesn't seem to be doing much except looking at them
>shy dude is wondering about the newcomer's intentions and whether it's actually hostile to them
>Mr. Insistent immediately goes on a tirade about how this is a combat zone in which some hunk of unknown tech dropped from the sky and it's automatically hostile and he knows because his parents are military
For the record, this guy is maybe 21 and has done zero time in any sort of armed force.
>shy dude fires back that both his parents also served and how that doesn't mean anything on its own
>shy dude eventually backs down because that's what he does and Mr. Insistent is louder than him
>>47290364
>Players repeatedly insist that high rolls equals automatic success.
You need to communicate that dice rolls are only needed when the outcome is in question, as the dice generate random variables representing chaos and uncertainty. And you as the DM are supposed to call for rolls when appropriate, and ask the players not to roll unless that's the case.
Most of the time the outcome is quite certain, however. This is why they don't roll for things like putting on their pants or mounting a horse. There is no question as to what will happen when they do those things. If a player wants to shoot an arrow at the moon, this is why you don't roll for it - there is only one possible outcome (it does not hit the moon, and eventually returns to the ground), so a random element to decide the outcome is not necessary
>>47288137
That's not how shit works in real life. "Hey! I'm an unencumbered adult human and so are you, so we'll move at precisely the same rate and I'll never gain on you are fall behind by even a foot! We can run for hours and I'll still be exactly the same distance behind you." That's just silly.
>>47293488
>real life
Anon...
>>47293488
The 5th edition DMG has fairly in-depth rules for chases, chase-complications, and endurance.
>>47293558
Not sure what your point is, but the point is that having everybody move at exactly the same rate breaks verisimilitude in such a strong way that it should be improvised away. It's akin to the peasant railgun like that, where the GM should be like "that doesn't make any sense, so it doesn't work like that."
>>47292137
It can also become hard to draw the line, some aspects of any players personality are going to shine through into a character, choosing what to intentionally stop from happening can be tricky, although that specific example probably should've been clear.
>>47290514
I am totally down for that if you're doing it online.
Shoot me some contact info so I can ask more on it, anon friend.
Rolled 1, 4, 2, 5, 5, 3, 5, 4, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 3, 5, 1, 2, 5, 1, 5 = 58 (20d6)
>>47293771
See >>47290761
>>47293840
Oh, you're the nigger shitting up the 5e general. YOU DON'T GET TO TALK ABOUT PEOPLE BEING SHIT, FUCKER.
>>47293840
Not sure if same anon, but asking for contact info to discern
>time
>day
>language preference
>system
>player expectations
>availability
>game policies
It's important to see if players and GM gel before considering a new player.
Just as well, compiling candidates to form an ideal player pool from which you'll form a new group (from multiple sources, I should hope) seems like a pretty sharp idea, but I'm just making a case because I'm looking for an extra game day in my week and enjoy spirited GMs.
>thebrownnosing.gif
>>47290578
I believe it was Yes who said it best:
>Owner of a lonely heart, much better than an owner of a broken heart.Though it's possible I'm entirely missing the point of the song.
>>47288137
You. You are the problem.
>>47294020
>Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
Quotes are stupid and you're stupid for buying into the stupid gimmick.
>>47294048
>Watch it now: The eagle in the sky. How he dancin' one and only
So there.
https://youtu.be/9O6e7cgkeqw
>>47294124
>Baby are you down, down, down, down, down
>>47294124
Good job.
Rolled 3, 6, 4, 1, 3, 3, 6, 4, 4, 3, 5, 2, 5, 5, 6, 6, 3, 2, 1, 6 = 78 (20d6)
>>47293935
Not my fault /5eg/ is full of butthurt nofunners who hate fun builds that are RAW permissible.
>>47294124
Sorry to go off on a tangent here, but I think I found a music video that embodies the very essence of this picture: https://youtu.be/vpIduDaggVA
>>47294163
>I'm blue da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di da ba de da ba di
>>47294184
Yes, because I clearly intended "The eagle in the sky, how he dancin' one and only" as an actual retort.
>>47294124
oh THATS the lyric. I thought it was
Watch it now, evil in disguise.
I'm sometimes the randumb player, though a lot of times I'm more, "it would be funny if we did x"
>Keep suggesting throughout session we should do outlandish things
>"Hey a bank, we should totally rob them!"
>GM says there are too many guards
>Keep joking about how I "roll" to shoot guards
>GM had enough, actually has me roll to shoot a guard
>Absolutely shit my pants
Thankfully I missed and after much begging he says it was a weapon malfunction and the guards let me off with a warning
GM
>Its the second session for this campaign? guess its time to hint at/ introduce the questline to eventual meet/ begin to railroad you towards a dragon
>oh you're ignoring those and interested in another quest or just exploring?
>Well here's a dragon and he's making you do shit
>But the reward for his task is a pull off of the Deck of many things!
Fucking kill me, also
>Party is helping out local Guards dealing with a massive enemy attack
>Suggest to the Captain of the guard a mutually beneficial plan that will save time and lives
>Captain tells me to fuck off and if he sees me again he'll have me imprisoned
>complete 180 from his usual attitude for no reason
>DM:"lol what did you expect running a thri-kreen with 4 Charisma"
Players
>I want to play as the Face of the party but have no ability to smooth talk or BS In or out of character to the point the DM gives up on RPing coversations and just has me roll to see if I convince someone of something
>>47293990
>Just as well, compiling candidates to form an ideal player pool from which you'll form a new group (from multiple sources, I should hope) seems like a pretty sharp idea
Yeah, maybe if it actually worked. But the problem is, every player thinks they're amazing and somehow totally different from "every other player". And the problem is, while DMs have to sift through applicants and put together the best group of people they can so they can actually run their campaign without having it fail miserably, players invest nothing. They're not looking for the "perfect" game, they're just looking for any game. So if they send you an email saying "lol i wanan play", they expect a response back, and they expect a campaign starting right away, or they'll just go find someone else to apply with.
Most players have applied to a dozen games simultaneously, they just shotgun that shit, because it doesn't matter.
So the idea of being able to "pool" players to select from is a flawed concept, because by the time you start going through the list, the only ones who will even be left to interview are the ones who got rejected from other games.
>>47294459
>I'm sometimes the randumb player, though a lot of times I'm more, "it would be funny if we did x"
I literally wish cancer and violent death upon you and everyone related to you.
>>47294454
Yours is actually kind of cool. Mine was more just confusing...
>In and around the lake,
>Marlins come out of the sky,
>And they stand there.
>>47294478
I see your point, but I'm in the same smooth sailing group of mooks I started with 2 years ago. We're all total strangers, and the DM had an incredibly stringent process for picking out players, and has four players that join us to quietly observe our sessions from time to time to keep current with the story and recent events while they wait for an opening to be allowed. However, I do suppose the exception is not the rule.
The effort put into their application should ideally send a message to the GM that they're interested in THEIR game for X, Y, and Z. To be honest, I never found it tough to discern players with genuine interest in a game versus players with an interest in ANY game apart.
>>47294712
Forgot to mention we started applying in the Summer while the game started in the Fall.
>1 of 94 applicants.
>mfw make the cut
whew lad
>>47293488
D&DINRL
IS
NOT
REAL
LIFE
It has different rules and mechanics that are under absolutely no requirement to be consistent with IRL.
>>47294824
>rules
>not guidelines
>>47288047
To be fair, hit points don't necessarily measure damage, they might also measure luck or plot armor or the will to keep fighting.
If it measures luck, then there's no (obvious) way to a spectator to know that you're depleting it.
The only hits that are required to physically damage the creature are the one that bloodies it, the one that KOs it and the one that kills it.
So, from a spectator's perspective, you don't have a way of telling whether you're chewing through a boss with a crapton of HP, or if the boss is NOPEing your attacks.
>DM tells player to roll for an action
>player describes some asisine way to do it
>argues that it's possible in the real world
Like, "oh, monks have been skilled enough to skip on wooden planks floating on water to reach the other side, why can't I?"
Cause you're a fucking cleric with 10 Dex in heavy armor you fucking jabroni.
>>47294712
>>47294801
You should probably qualify this by mentioning that you're playing a chatroom text-based Ponyfinder game.
>>47288047
one of my favoirte stories is we had a dm who did everything was traviling at MPH, and this was like 30-40 mph. this gave the Lich-friend the idea to use ray of effeblement on said fast runners.Paint the pavement red, boys!
>>47288583
>>I'm going to spend exactly 5 seconds thinking up a plan that could not possibly work, then treat this plan like god's gift to gaming
Jesus christ, this.
I understand that the rules are, in many places, open to interpretation - and that you should defer to your players' interpretation of the rules, when it's something that involves their character.
But the rules don't bend THAT fucking much. Christ.
"Hey DM ignore the Run / Move rules so I can-"
>No
"Hey DM can you make it so the Lightning spell can-"
>No
"But lightning IRL wouldn't-"
>It's a magic spell. Do you have those IRL?
The amount of times players have tried to set something wooden on fire, when the weather was cold, or humid, or the air was still, or the thing in question was storing a lot of water (e.g. a healthy tree), is astounding.
>>47289165
His plan is to roll a dice and hope to get above a target number.
What is the target number?
>that depends on your
You're the DM, that's at your discretion. Now what is the target number?
>fuck you it's 30
Oh cool, too risky to cross. Could'jve just said that the first time I asked
>>47292050
Asian Mythologies the ghosts (depending on type of ghost) do have feet.
What you're thinking of are the japanese snow demons, who died of frostbite, and therefore do not have feet.
Fun story - I ran an ERP game about a year ago, and one of the players got S A L T Y when we encountered snow demons, and I described them as not having feet. Ragequit-tier salty. If we were playing at a table, I give 40% odds that it would have been flipped.
Of all the bloody things we encountered in that campaign, from the Rape bulls to the Unbirth gnomes to the swarms of locusts that ate your clothes, he PJSalts about the frostbite demons.
>>47294957
>map at 20% magnification
>two thirds of our home continent explored
>literally four other landmasses we haven't touched, all of similar detail and intricacy with prepared handouts, characters, leaders, temperament, fauna, flora, and mercantile relations
I mean, I guess.
>>47295086
Oh god it's an anti-plot dungeon of the week sandbox hexcrawl. That's even worse.
>>47293325
>This is why they don't roll for things like putting on their pants
Make a Ranged Touch Attack vs. the pants.
Ok, now make a Grapple check vs. a small helpless enemy
...
The Pants evade your grasp. Luckily, you can try again, as there is no penalty for retrying a grapple check.
...
Oh shit is that a 1? You split your pants Lol.
>>47290406
>"What would [NPC] say if I said xxx?"
I don't see a problem in asking this, at least if the character has social knowledge/skill the player does not. Most of the characters will, because they spent their lives growing up in this fictional world with all its norms and etiquette (i.e. they are aware of the way the DM thinks social interactions work).
>>47290419
>Trying to run a somewhat-dramatic scene where an NPC tells
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN
Where the dicerolling tactics optimisation characterbuild crunch gamemechanics at?
>>47295102
Nah, there's just a lot going on in the world and the GM was upfront that this game was a long-haul. We all started at 1 and it's been two years, finally hitting 13 after barely surviving an encounter where we defended a city you can see on there called Baetun.
It's a floating city now controlled by a mass of undead and two recurring villains simply referred to as the Lich Lords. We actually just got through smoothing over relations in the way-way-way WAY far East near Port Savage with a contact of the Archmage that saved us from the negative energy blast that washed across the entire city and then some, and are going to be securing some of his trade routes from demons and cultists that are springing up as a result of the orcish and goblinoid forces rallying under a new Shaman King. In exchange, we get information we're after and the Archmage we're working with is after, which is critical to the nation's continued survival against this sudden and violent war.
Living the dream as fuck, senpai.
>>47295104
>Make a Ranged Touch Attack vs. the pants.
>Ranged
What, am I trying to pick them up with a lasso?
Because if so, that implies a much more interesting game than I had envisioned.
>>47294462
Dude. 4 charisma and visibly strange and alien? That's downright tame.
>>47290692
Can only run in a straight line.
He CAN, however, move over ridiculously winding terrain at his move speed.
That said, if your players are at that point, I guarantee one of you has Detect Object, or someone in town knows who this Thief is. Unless the thief has "PC immunity to the consequences of stupid bullshit, +5 plot armor and a guardian Deus Ex Machina with at-will DM fiat" like some of the players I know.
Though I did run a game where the PCs were not babysat at all, Rules 100% applied to them and could not be bent, but the NPCs in the game had plot armor and DM fiat on their side. I.e. I switched who the story revolved around, who was the "main character". The PCs got scary powerful scary fast and were scarily competent.
A little bit of an annoying thing I've noticed with my DM is that all of our plans work a little too well.
>Giant war with heavy fighting
>Magic is being used by both sides
>Our necromancer along with a team of other necromancers sneak into a city our side has been fighting for days for before we showed up
>No real resistance on the way in
>Original plan was for them to use a rot spell on the enemy munitions
>Instead they just raise a bunch of zombies and overrun the city in a matter of hours
Honestly I felt a little cheated that we spent all this time planning for everything to just go off without a hitch.
>>47295027
You don't know in character. Sounds like the DM was trying to encourage roleplay in this rpg he was running.
>>47290792
I make a point of joining /tg/ games and then playing a neutral evil guy who likes to enslave people, abuse women, and eugenics up the place.
He also is a mechanically optimised character, and I encourage the group to do combat encounters more often (and story less often)
>>47290989
Let your NPCs roll nat 20s on them.
The Shopkeep convinces your player to part with all his gold in exchange for a shiny trinket.
"Shopkeep rolled a nat 20 when you talked to him man"
Player tries to attack the shopkeep
"No that's out of character, he rolled 20 and now you're his best friend"
>our forever DM asks me to make up some backup material to cover for him in case he cant make it for some reason
>6 months pass
>during this time i build a dungeon consisting of 4 levels with hundreds of rooms and countless traps
>basic annoying ones and shit that will kill you like rooms that lock you in and walls move to crush you unless you solve the puzzle of the room
>shits like fucking raiders of the lost ark shit up in here!
>there is one catch to my masterful dungeon.
>the first layer has 8 rooms with a hidden passageway to get to the lower levels
>players kill some skeletons
>kill a week necromancer
>take a small bit of gold
>call me a shit GM because my dungeon sucked
Every chance i had i would give them clues but i did not want to outright fucking TELL them.
>>47292137
>In fairness though when you're really knowledgeable about something it's really hard to voluntarily ignore what you know.
I'm on 4chan, I voluntarily ignore how to have positive social interactions on a daily basis.
>>47295129
They're not asking what their characters think the NPC would say, they're asking exactly what the NPC will say if they ask that question.
>>47288047
Every time my players get a cart/wagon/wheelbarrow/pretty much anything that can roll they without a doubt try and use it in some kind of ramming maneuver.
I've had them rush squadrons of guards, straight into the big bad, smash their way through town. One time they even drove a wagon straight into a fucking stone wall because they assumed it would just go straight through like a looney toons cartoon or something.
I think they're just doing it to fuck with me at this point.
>>47295250
Are you now aware of exactly why players are the scum of the earth?
Probably not, you went back to being a murderhobo and ruining your DM's plot because "lol it was funny at the time XD"
>>47293990
>time
Unemployed neet, can be whenever.
>day
Prefer not Wednesdays or Mondays tho since that's when I meet with my doctors
(This would be Tuesdays or Sundays in burgerland)
>language preference
C++, Python, Lojban, Rules As Written, TVTropes.
>system
MAID, Grapes, 5aggot, 4rry, 3aboo. Prefer not to run Paranoia tho, I just don't enjoy it
>player expectations
Consistent rules, knowledge of which is easily available and clear, and available to every player well before we reach a point where the rules critically matter.
Game focuses on gameplay mechanics and crunch, rather than Freeform RP. ... Though if the freeform RP had consistent rules, knowledge of which is available and clear etc, then I suppose that'd be fine too.
>availability
Unemployed NEET yea boi
>game policies
Show up on time, pay attention to the game, be consistent and honest, and if something hurts your feelings or makes you salty, that's your own damn problem - don't make demands on other players.
>>47295278
>Every time my players get a cart/wagon/wheelbarrow/pretty much anything that can roll they without a doubt try and use it in some kind of ramming maneuver.
This is not really relevant, but I ran a one-shot for some people I play with when the DM for that game was absent, and they chose to use their characters from the original game, one of whom had a little wagon filled with alcohol he brews himself. Fast forwards a bit, and they're in a creepy town where every villager is locked in their homes, and he decides to use his cart to ram open a locked door.
I told him to roll his Strength, and that he heard the rattling and crashing of glass as most of his bottles smashed into eachother and broke while the door didn't move, because it's just a god damned wagon, not a battering ram.
>>47294478
>every player thinks they're amazing and somehow totally different from "every other player".
It is your duty, as the DM, as another player, or just as a human being, to beat the special snowflake out of them.
>>47295303
I am the only on our DM trusts to not make a murder hobo heaven because i am the only one who roll plays and stays in character.
We have a murder hobo who is annoying as all hell to deal with. Once our current campagin ends i am going to run a pally to be the anti fun police and play lawful stupid all over his ass.
>>47295086
>Port Savagery
SAVAGE!
>>47290901
Hmm...60 yards a round...round is six seconds...10 yards/second....means moving at speeds of roughly 20 mph.
I have no idea how fast that is. (I mean, yeah, world record sprint is around 27 mph, but that doesn't tell me much.)
>>47295356
But what happens when he beomces the Chaotic Neutral FUN POLICE :D and decides to Chaotic Stupid "Don't ban anything! Someone is having FUN with that anything, you fun hating faggot!" in direct oppositing to your antifunpolice?
>>47295404
36kmh
>>47295411
It's fun to put those "I have the moral highground because I do not demand other people stop liking what I don't like" types in a group together and see how long it takes for them to turn into banhappy "Someone likes what I don't like? They shouldn't be able to do that!" types.
Power corrupts.
>>47295411
Simple. If he dose an act that the pally thinks is evil the pally smites his shit.
Last session the dick killed a shopkeeper because LOL WHY NOT AMIRITE!?!?
He dose that and my pally calls for guards, kicks his teeth in and takes him to jail where he will likely be raped because this guy loves to make rape jokes and threaten to rape NPC's if they dont give out info / do what he wants.
Then he meets his end on the choping block / hangmans rope.
>>47295404
>60 yards a round
DnD measures movement in feet, not yards
>60 feet a round (1 round = 6 seconds)
>10 feet per second
>6.8 mph
>10.9 kmh.
>>47295474
You're inevitably gonna get into a fight to the death. You know that, right?
And you're playing as a Paladin, which isn't a particularly optimised class.
What happens when you lose, and Mr. FUN ALLOWED :D then rubs it in your face? Probably rapes your character too.
Are you going to whine at the DM that you picked a fight and lost, and you shouldn't be able to do that?
Think, before you start picking a fight you can't handle losing.
>>47295473
I would not mind it if he would roll play it. But this guy wants to essentially play world of warcraft.
>kill shit
>take their stuff
>LOL WHAT STORY?
He pays no attention to his alignment or character.
His characters are dull and bland murder hobos and most of our group dose not care too much for him but he is not annoying enough to everyone to kick out.
So myself and one other in the group are working together to build characters to stop him from killing shopkeepers, bartenders, random homeless guys and city guards for the lulz of it.
>>47295229
Plus, if the player's response was literally 'I cross it', without bothering to say why, than there's no difficulty to give.
Tossing a rope over and shimmying? Jumping? Climbing down and back up? Using a spell? Some of these may be more difficult than others.
If a player's response to a demand for more details than 'I cross' is to get snippy and say 'you're the DM, it's at your discretion', than that passive/aggressive asshole can fuck right off out of the game. Plenty of CRPGs where he can pit stats against static difficulties.
>>47295474
>>47295504
Though at least you'll have /tg/ on your side because this place is anti-rape as fuck. Personally I think if someone has fun with it, there's no problem.
>>47295411
>36 kmh
So, how crazy is it for a person to maintain that speed running? I have no idea, I was on swim team in high school.
>>47295544
>He pays no attention to his alignment or character.
He probably doesn't enjoy story.
You don't have to enjoy story to play tabletop RPGs, you can just drop the RP and play it as a straight G when you try to make your numbers do number to the enemy numbers so you can number up and loot some number with which to number harder so you can beat bigger enemy numbers.
... Though I think that's probably not the motivation of a chaotic random type, they tend to not be gameplay enthusiasts either.
That said, building characters to stop him from lulzing on your campaign works well.
Just make sure you can handle it if you lose, and he lulzes twice as hard on your dead bodies.
There's a high possibility that you'll end up with your ass handed to you. If your plan at this point is "whine at the DM to ban thing I don't like" then you are a sore loser and a faggot.
>>47295499
Really?
Well...
1)I'm an idiot.
2)fuck, that's a brisk walk. This is a powerwalk chase. I assume they're being watched by a very mean librarian or mall cop.
>>47295549
> Plenty of CRPGs where he can pit stats against static difficulties.
And that works just fine in paper RPGs too.
The human mind is basically a slower computer, so everything in CRPGs applies to regular RPGs as well. you don't have to be one of those world of warcraft-hating luddites.
>>47295504
Please see
>call guards
The guy will very likely try to kill the first shopkeeper he finds in a city. And since the rest of our group is annoyed as shit at his antics i have very little doubt he can take on 4 others + guards who will more likely then not sound a signal horn / warning to call for backup as soon as they see the fighter.
Not playing ultra high fantasy. But the guard captains are typically badasses and drag along a spellcaster. Though the run of the mill guards are nothing much.
>>47290989
I admit that sometimes I'll make stupid rolls like this, just for a laugh, though. Even though I said I roll to intimidate the sun doesn't mean I expect it to actually happen, regardless of results.
>>47295102
>hex crawls
don't lump us in with them! hex crawls are just a rule set for making traveling interesting. they can have plot.
>>47295633
Ok.
You have a very good chance of winning.
Great.
The question is, can you handle not winning?
>>47295102
FUCK PLOT
FUCK STORY
FUCK FLUFF, CHARACTERS, WORLDBUILDING, ROLEPLAYING
ROLL SOME DICE FAGGOT
YOU FIGHT *rolls* 13 DESERT ORCS
>>47295648
Dude, what?
Hexcrawls are
>Alright, we're traveling this hex.
>It has a mountain surrounded by woods
>Roll random table for what we you encounter
>It's...a cave. With...some kobolds.
>Ok, we killed them. Next hex?
>>47295659
I have not won a good deal of times over my history of playing RPG's and have not had an issue.
If the guy manages to wipe the party, kill the guards and get away then i can just come up with another character.
The end result will hopefully be that he learns to RP. I would much rather keep the player even though i find him annoying then see someone rage quite because he cant murder who he wants when he wants.
Shit if it dosent work i think i roll up a evil alignment and RP right along with him. see if that can learn him to RP more.
>>47295609
>The human mind is basically a slower computer
No. Stop.
>>47288137
It's a worse option than the alternatives, from every perspective of why to play an RPG.
>Simulationist
It's unrealistic that athletics and endurance, or the environment, have nothing to do with a protracted chase.
>Narrativist
"He gets away, no you can't possibly catch him," is boring compared to a dramatic chase scene. And if the person has information, it potentially stalls the plot.
>Gamist
Flat-out denying the option is less mechanically satisfying than a series of rolls with strategic options, or even one contested Athletics check. Additionally, it's a misuse of game mechanics to use combat rounds for something like that, and assume that subsystem is meant to work outside combat the same way.
>>47295404
The world record for the 100 meter dash is about 23 1/3 mph. The 27.8 mph speed you often see quoted is from the fast segment of a race. That is, it's not an average speed, but the the top speed that was briefly reached. So the 23 1/3 mph figure is probably more useful, though even it is going to be dramatically too fast.
First, not everybody is Usain Bolt, and using him as a meter of how fast folks can go is like using the strongest man in the world as an indicator of how much people can lift (I don't know about you, but I can't deadlift more than 900 pounds). Even ignoring natural ability, we're talking about a guy who has trained extensively for this particular thing. He's running on a track and not some rough-hewn dungeon floor or uneven field. He's wearing running shoes and wearing next to nothing, and so is completely unencumbered.
How much slower do you figure world class sprinters would go if you stuck them in boots, heavy trousers, and a coat of some kind; saddled them with adventuring gear (a backpack laden with equipment and loot), weapons and so forth; and made them run in through a dungeon in partial darkness while various missiles whizzed past them? I'd imagine that 12 mph would be more realistic than 24.
>>47294478
>Most players have applied to a dozen games simultaneously, they just shotgun that shit, because it doesn't matter.
I don't.
Then again, I don't play D&D so I don't have that kind of problem...
Would it make sense if I had my players roll strenght to see if they catch up to someone in a chase and endurance afterward to see how tired they get, with contested rolls from the guy being chased?
>>47296850
Well, that's a fucking retarded and boring way of running a chase event.
Do you also just do contested rolls to see if they figure out the BBEG's plan and win the game?
>>47296885
What would you do?
>>47296908
Actually make chasing an enemy into an event that requires some sort of thought and input in order to succeed in? One that actually rewards effort and not "lol i roll 2 win".
>>47296918
You may proceed in explaining how you would go about doing that.
>>47295063
>Unbirth gnomes
No, wait. What? How the hell did that work, anon? You got me in that thin line separating disgust and curiosity.
>>47296941
Sorry, I give people the benefit of assuming they don't need to be coddled and spoonfed in order to figure basic shit out. If that's not the case for you, you're probably just going to have to learn to accept mediocrity.
>>47295278
Dude that is hilarious.
>>47295411
>But what happens when he beomces the Chaotic Neutral FUN POLICE :D and decides to Chaotic Stupid "Don't ban anything! Someone is having FUN with that anything, you fun hating faggot!" in direct oppositing to your antifunpolice?
It creates a feeback loop and destroys everything.
>>47296965
So you are just a full-fledged asshole, I see.
Good for you.
>>47289798
>The player character has to be aware of something before they can roll to be aware of something
>>47295063
what?
why?
what was his reasoing?
>>47297018
Better than being an idiot.
You know what the best part is? You're never going to figure it out. You're going to pout and stamp your feet, and when it comes time for you to DM that thing you want advice on, you're just gonna run the shitty idea you had instead of ever sitting down and thinking "How would someone who doesn't have mental retardation solve this?" for yourself.
>>47297044
Except I can do research and figure out something better than what I came up with in half a minute, whereas you with your attitude will remain the same because you think that you are oh-so-smart when really you are just average and a shitheel to boot.
>>47295063
He probably had a foot fetish. Which you would have known if you had gone over everyone's dealbreakers at the start, like any reasonable ERP GM.
>>47297061
>Except I can do research and figure out something better than what I came up with in half a minute
But you won't. You'll complain about someone being mean on the internet until someone helps you.
>whereas you with your attitude will remain the same
Of course it will. People need to learn to help themselves, that's how you get better at things.
Cry just a little more.
>>47297071
>No one should help anyone, the post
cool cool
>>47295027
To be fair I'd argue a jump check would have a higher DC compared to someone throwing a grappling hook. One of them upon failing ends with a character plumetting to the bottom and the other ends with having to pull the rope up to try again.
The DM in this case was fully justified.
>>47288403
Cherish your players, for they are great.
>>47295499
>10.9 kmh
If my DM asked me to roll any check for running anything less than 2 hours at this pace, I'd break his legs.
>>47296965
>>47297071
Just admit it anon, you can't come up with shit and is just trying to avoid answering by being an ass.
Roll for the most asinine or power gamey shit.
>Alright you come across a man in full plate holding a great sword, he tells you only those of good intentions are allowed in he-
>I tell him to stop believing his god.
>...why?
>Well if i kill a paladin il go down in alignment and if he stops believing god i can maybe recruit him or at least kill him easier.
>Rolls 16 and looks at me expectantly
Or stupid shit like telling nearly every non peasant NPC to give him money.
>>47288047
>stupid shit your GM/players do
Writing in greentext.
>>47288999
I played with a GM once who gave ever single NPC we ever met movement boosts and the run feat. Anytime they started to lose, they would run away. Anytime we were dying and tried to escape, they chased us down and killed us. He never got tired of being amused by that.
>>47294462
>I want to play as the Face of the party but have no ability to smooth talk or BS In or out of character to the point the DM gives up on RPing coversations and just has me roll to see if I convince someone of something
That's the single worst thing I see in games on a regular basis. It's so painful to me.
Players.
>>Bitching about damage.
>>Saying "I don't care, I'm just gonna die anyway" whenever the fight turns against them
>>Not fucking roleplaying when I've set things up so they can do just that
Players: That Guy edition
>>Going after nameless NPC's because he wants to enslave/torture them but gets all buttmad when the NPC dies for any number of plausible reasons
We currently have a player who's actively trying to find a way to turn into a vampire. No reason in his backstory or anything, he just said "being a vampire would be cool" and started asking around if any NPCs knew how he could turn into one. We told him in character that we would kill him if he did that and he'd never be allowed back into the party, which resulted in an OOC argument that we weren't being fair to him.
This is in the Curse of Strahd campaign. You know, the one where you're trying to eventually find and kill a vampire.
>>47297070
>reasonable ERP GM
>>47290364
Why did you ask for a fucking roll then? GM is clearly at fault here for wasting everyone's time.
>>47288403
10/10
>>47294918
>you fucking jabroni
>>47296262
>A level 20 Monk using his full action to run as fast as possible, is still slower than a regular human being
I love 5e, but COME ON.
>>47288403
>"Okay guys we're good, they aren't ghosts."
>>47298743
Is he really? I thought I remembered calculating it before, and it was around 20mph, though that may have been with the mobile feat.
>>47296262
Usain Bolt is level 5, like Roy Benavidez or Albert Einstein. That's where gritty realism caps out.
>>47298797
I'm pretty sure a Wood Elf Monk with the Mobile feat would beat him for speed. Its just weird that a standard Monk without it is actually pretty slow, considering.
OP, I feel you, but hear this.
Halflings or gnomes enchanters outrunning in one round my human barbarian/monk with x5 running feat because "They started to run before you did"
DM
>"Oh hey guys I feel like running one of these pre-made modules that have gotten a lot of attention, wanan play?"
>"Oh, btw, I've made a few minor adjustment."
>Completely mutilates the module into somethign that doesn't even vaguely resemble it's original form.
FFS if we want to play a pre-made module let us play it, not the Micheal Jackson equivalent.
>>47288047
Players
>we want an intrigue heavy campaign! Politics! Maneuvering! Backstabbing!
>what do you mean, the NPC we trusted lied to us?
>>47299301
Though I don't know the situation, but it's not easy for DMs to run deceit from NPCs well enough that the players won't either have absolutely no indication of what's true or false, or will start hacking NPCs to pieces because they rolled low on insight.
So I wouldn't blame them, nor the DM, just I don't think that type of game would work with that group.
>>47295609
Nigga please... We're not slower computers, We're processing far more information tasks (Like breathing... Making sure we're conscious and telling us when we're hungry/tired. Having to run an RPG is not on our priority list in surviving.
>>47290630post link
>>47290406
>"D&D 2nd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?""D&D 3rd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?""D&D 5th edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
did someone say 'threeaboo"? Because I just heard someone say threeaboo.
>>47289798
Oh sod off. The times when I had to save the party because the rogue is a moron make me think he is well within his right to stop the fucking thieving shit from putting you all into trouble.q
>>47291881
As an irl police officer there is no knowledge in 5 years of dnd that has correlated with my job :/I know it was just an example but still
>>47299301
"Political intrigue" games are shit.
>trust NPC
"Lel, they backstab you!"
>don't trust NPC
"Lel, they could have been a genuine and helpful ally, but you had to mistrust them!"
Every. Fucking. Time.
>>47294890
>luck or plot armor or the will to keep fighting.
in that case explain how a caster casting heal spells on you is regenerating hit points?
>>47292297
For you.
>>47300083
Ohh, a police officer, then can you give me your thoughts on the following?
>Ghoulified aristocrat is murdering folks
>sheriff doesnt want people to know that undead exist.
>sheriff tells PCs to go take him out and solve the problem
>sends new PC along, which happens to be the best guard in town, who happens to be the LGest of the LG.
>party gets to haunted house and find ghoul dude.
>Cop PC leaps on him, reads him his rights, and arrests him.
>Everyone starts getting upset because they wanted to kill him.
>Cop PC takes ghoul baddie to town, to stand trial.
>GM along with all other players get butthurt because they didnt get their murder.
>>47300106
Get a better GM, use a better system, both if necessary.
>>47292974
Okay, but depending on the game he might not passively notice a thing.
If I'm a Thief and I roll a 15 on my Sleight of Hand check, then someone with a passive Perception of 14 just plain doesn't notice my acts of legerdemain. And because the character doesn't notice it passively they have no reason in-character to try and make an active Perception check to see it.
>>47297037
Passive Perception determines when they are passively aware of something.
An active Perception check represents the player deliberately looking around for something.
It's the difference between walking down a street and noticing a sandwich shop, verses walking down the street actively looking for a place to grab a bite to eat.
>>47300064
Sure, he's within his right, but is it within his *ability*? Therein lies the rub.
>>47288137
Going to assume D&D/PF here.
DM's just being a lazy/shitty person. There's rules for continuous and long-distance running; they'd have to keep rolling Fort saves to not collapse from exhaustion or other related maladies.
>>47300317
>Going to assume D&D/PF here.
It can't even be that because D&D/PF has rules for extended chases. The dude with the faster movement doesn't necessarily escape because after about a solid minute of running you have to make Constitution checks to keep running.
Thus for example in 3.PF a dwarf over a distance will probably outrun an elf, because on average dwarves have higher Constitutions then elves - this despite the fact that dwarves have a movement speed of 20 ft. verses elves at 30 ft.
>Player rolls skill out of the blue
>Expects me to know what exactly they want to roll that skill for
This isn't a point and click adventure game, I have to know what the hell you're trying to do. Maybe I'll go back to OSR games, but then...
>"I can't sneak, only thieves can do that!"
>>47297071
>I think ayn rand is just swell
go back to /pol/
>>47299369
In this case, as far as I can tell, "intrigue campaign" meant: "we will run around chronically backstabbing everyone, and nobody will ever see it coming or retaliate because we expect you to populate the entire world with morons"
https://youtu.be/TKuU2UKi2_8
That feeling when your DM goes completely overboard with the combat scenarios...
>300 dracolichs (thank fuck we didn't have to fight them)
>Having us spend three 5 hour sessions taking out Skum, Aboleth, and Mindflayers
>GIVING THE ELDEST A DC 27 IN 5E DND TO AVOID GOING INSANE
And this is against a party with people that don't know the difference between flaming sphere and fireball. After two fucking years of playing the game...
>>47300292
>Sure, he's within his right, but is it within his *ability*?
This really. I don't really have a problem with party friction, though if the party can't handle that it's certainly a problem. The game isn't fun when every ten minutes is interrupted by two players arguing.
I won't deny an opportunity to notice something if there's a reasonable expectation that opportunity would exist. But if you feel compelled to constantly watch the rogue's back and roll notice on him every five minutes then I think there's a real problem with the group dynamic.
>>47298743
>people can't run more than like 6.8 mph
>I love 5e, but COME ON.
I feel you. I wish 5e had something for sprinting.
>>47299301
>we want an intrigue heavy campaign! Politics! Maneuvering! Backstabbing!
I'm pretty sure that "intrigue heavy" is player-speak for "we want more interesting and believable factions". It can also mean "I really like Game of Thrones or other series cashing in on its success". Either way, they won't actually have fun playing political intrigue.
>>47300237
Sounds legit. I'm not exactly sure of what you ask/want
>>47291828
It's possible it didn't occur to her that that was a specialized skill, because she was so comfortable with it.
If I asked you to go make a .rar file, you could probably go do it without even thinking it was anything special, but they're are a ton of people who would be lost completely.
She is probably so used to boats that it registers as common sense to her.
>Everybody give me complete silence while I describe what my character is doing in detail the likes of which would make Frank Herbert proud while I...
>um...
>while I...
You attack the Orc?
>Shut UP every time, shit.
>... Yeah, I attack the Orc.
Roll
>I got two points over his AC.
But what number was on the dice.
>it...it was two points over his AC
Soo, you rolled a 16?
>yeah.
You needed to roll an 18 to beat his AC.
>WHY DID YOU SAY 16 THEN, THATS CHEATING.
You use that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
>>47295556
Where do you draw the line then? I'm seriously asking. If might makes right and I say we're all going to become merchants now because I can solo the rest of the party do you all have to start pulling out spreadsheets because I'm going to have fun with it? That just seems like a terrible way to run things.
Also, I'd like to point out that by the definition of rape it's really only fun for one side of the encounter. That's what makes it rape.
>>47301978
You need to say "The attack roll is 19, that should beat his AC". If they ask for the number on the die you say something like "the d20 came up 14, but with modifiers it was 19".
Being clear is very important, even if it means an extra word or three. It can save you a lot of back-and-forth.
And roll your dice where the DM can see them, so he doesn't need to ask. That's just basic etiquette and honesty.
>>47298148
Not to say it's unreasonable that you'd kill him, but a lot of people in the real world do completely retarded things because "it would be cool". So while his reasoning isn't all that interesting, it's not entirely unrealistic either.You should still kill him though.
>>47288752
Can you point where do you see such a rule?
I skimmed over the book again and seen nothing like that except in forced march part, which obviously doesnt apply.
>>47289838
Run full speed carrying your 100 lbs of gear and see that you aren't superhuman or puking your guts out.
>>47296918
Why are we even giving the players an option? why do the players need to be able to catch this guy?
Mechanically the guy can escape them, and I see no need to bend mechanics here in order to catch the guy, because catching the guy is not necessary.
>>47296965
You really are retarded
>"I roll diplomacy on the guard!"
>player then rolls dice and looks at me waiting for an a response
Fuck people who just say "I roll <skill".
>>47303042
Isn't this what /tg/ advocates for? I mean, we have whole threads here about how autists shouldn't have to be socially competent in order to roleplay a smooth-talker just like you shouldn't have to lift a fridge in order to roleplay a barbarian.
It's fucking retarded, but it's also what /tg/ believes.
>>47296948
The gnomes were larger on the inside than on the outside and also stretchy.
>>47297039
Not sure there was any.
>>47297070
Well shit, it's not like those were the only enemies. Most NPCs had feet. There were more girls without penises than girls with penises and our resident trannylover didn't much care.
Then again, as someone said
>reasonable
>ERP GM
To be honest I didn't even play to masturbate, I played because I find the depths of human depravity to be extremely interesting, knowing how decades of education, on top of thousands of years of civilization, on top of millions of years of evolution, and people still get sexually aroused by self-destructive dumb shit.
Maybe I'm just edgy, but I find it fun to see things that are fucked up.
>>47303078
I'm not asking someone to describe how they flirt with the guard and try to fuck him in the butt. I'm just asking for /something/, even as little as just some small talk and finding out why the fuck he's blocking their way. If you just walk up to the merchant and say "I roll diplomacy to make him give me all his money" the answer is no. I don't care that you got a nat20.
>>47297538
I'm not sure exactly what is wrong here, but it is hilarious.
>>47303158
I'm not disagreeing. In fact, I will do you one better; If you refuse to put any effort at all into roleplaying, you don't get to play at my table.
I don't care if you think it's "cringy" or some stupid excuse for not having to actually try. If you can't be bothered, I can't be bothered, I'll find better players.
>>47303170
>I'm not sure exactly what is wrong here
B8
>>47303183
>I'm not disagreeing
I know you aren't, it just irritates me that some players refuse to put in the effort when it was made clear ahead of time this isn't a dice rolling simulator.
>>47302038
> If might makes right and I say we're all going to become merchants now because I can solo the rest of the party do you all have to start pulling out spreadsheets because I'm going to have fun with it?
I suppose.
Might as well at least give it a go.
>>47302038
>>47303320
'cause I mean there really isn't anything wrong with it. Though the other players aren't having as much fun as they potentially could be, so while it isn't wrong, it's not the "most right"
Still, probably best for me not to butt in on things like that, leave it up to the players to determine. Last thing I need or want is to have the players think "bitch at the DM to cater to me" is a valid way to get what they want.
So yeah, I guess we accountants now.
>>47295252
Underrated post
>>47289165
> DM demanding roleplay rather than asking his player to roll dice.
Crossing a crevasse is a pretty shit roleplay environment bruv. Player was probably just keen to get on with it.
>>47295009
doesn't lightning bolt set unattended objects on fire?
i think it did in 3.5 at least, but that might just be something the first person who i ever played with made up
>>47290406
>"What would [NPC] say if I said xxx?"
There's nothing wrong with asking this. In fact, it's encouraged by good DM's for their Players to ask questions similar.
"Does my character have the capacity to read this moss-covered stone?"
"Is there anything my character knows about this shady bartender offering me this free drink?"
"Does this town have a certain reputation, even with characters from where I'm from?"
These are all fantastic questions which help immerse the players in a DM's world, and promotes engagement into the world.
All other questions are bullshit, and I agree with you.
>>47303402
>Crossing a crevasse is a pretty shit roleplay environment bruv. Player was probably just keen to get on with it.
Feel free to throw yourself down a crevasse to end it at any time anon :^)
>>47303702
Where does the crevasse lead?
Do you want me to roll for damage?
>>47290514
Have you considered online websites specifically for D&D plays? You can advertise what kind of group you want to play, and start a thread where members join. I'm sure there's websites out there, even some that offer skype if you like.
>>47303799
Have you been brain damaged, anon?
>>47288047
>Top 10 Pranks That Went Way Too Far
>>47290406
>"D&D 2nd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
>"D&D 3rd edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
>"D&D 5th edition is too complicated, isn't there a simpler version?"
You get tired of telling them "Moldvay Basic" over and over?Well, either that or Barbarians of Lemuria if they're not dead set on D&D.
>player joins game
>shit comes up for 2 weeks in a row
>shows up to one game
>introduce his character and all that shit
>for 6 weeks after that, shit comes up and he can't play
>for 6 fucking weeks
Bud, it's cool if you don't want to play. Did I offend you? Did you not like what you saw? All I ask for is some communication. It's cool if you don't want to play. Even if you say you do, your attendance says you don't. Please, bud. Please.
>>47303961
>>Top 10 Pranks That Went Way Too Far
>>47292137
I find it easier to rp dumb things I've heard others say who don't understand it. I do dislike when people try every trick in the book to justify even petty things:
"I cross the bridge."
"The bridge begins to flip to the side."
"I distribute my weight in this very specific way to avoid falling over."
"Your character is a heavy fighter...agility and knowledge of such agility-based tactics are beyond him."
"But...but I understand it."
"But your character doesn't."
"I roll for balance. Ha a Nat 20!"
"Your character stumbles about and temporarily keeps the bridge from rotating, but it none the less spins and you topple over the edge. However luck would have it, your undrawn sword gets tangled in the bridge's ropes, and despite your weight you're now dangling by your sword."
"THAT'S BULLSHIT I ROLLED A NAT 20!!"
"And you're not in the flowing river below. You're welcome."
>>47295504
>Paladins aren't a particularly optimized class
which edition are we talking about here? because 5e pallies kick ass.
>>47288403
Give that player a slice of Ukraine.
>>47304564
I feel like a fighter of any sort would understand at least the basics of balance, even if they weren't necessarily an expert in it.
>>47304812
I may wind up being a player with him at some point in the future.
I plan on playing a character who cannot understand how ghosts have feet.
>>47304059
A lot of people want to play in theory, but realize they actually are busy when the time comes up. They're just bad at planning, and say yes to every other person who asks if they want to do something.
>>47290630
Just scrap it and start with a new group and a new stream. It will have the potential to be more interesting/popular with a better group anyway
>>47288432
Yeah, because all foot chases take place in empty hallways which require no ducking weaving, 0 changes in terrain or terrain density or such and such.
Not to mention worst case scenario they matched his speed in which case this could quite literally go on forever especially if you keep it as the granular turn based movement. Best case what, he breaks away at like 10 feet every couple of seconds. Oh look I can still clearly see him over there 30 minutes fucking later.
>>47298990
I'm getting secondhand rage from this. This is literally the only thing you bought the running feat for isn't it?
>>47305774
Wow, this thread is still here.
That's kinda the thing; I don't really have the energy or desire to recruit people anymore. The process is just so soul-draining that I don't even want to. Plus, do you know how fucking impossible it would be to dredge four committed, outgoing players who actually want to be on camera and put on an entertaining show, from the refuse pile that is online D&D recruiting? No shit, the last time I tried to fill a spot on the show (which was months ago now), I got at least 20 people saying "lol i wanna play can I use text?"
>>47288403
Genius.
>>47299235
Why would you want to play a module that you've already read?
>>47297037
Something needs to have happened before they can roll to be aware of it. Unless the bitchy players character has prescience
>>47289678
The world should be reactive enough to punish a problem player.
If the rogue is stealing from literally everyone, eventually the town guard will slap his shit. If the guy who's complaining is annoying the party enough, the party will slap his shit.
>>47290364
Oh boy, time for a greentext of my own:
>Playing paladin with crazy high CHA and max points in diplo with feat, comes out to ~16 diplo
>Escape prison where we started during some sort of battle, don't hurt anyone on the way out (I was being held as a political prisoner, not a criminal)
>Set off into the forest toward my homeland
>A couple of days later, guards come across us from the other direction, not following us
>They identify the party as escaped prisoners and move to capture us
>I tell them we're not looking for any trouble and we're taking the shortest route out of the country and never coming back
>DM tells me to roll diplo
>19 plus skill comes out to 35
>"Your attempt fails and now they look even angrier"
I mean, I don't expect to succeed with just any high roll, but it's bullshit to set DCs over 35 for a level 1 character, and it's bullshit to ask for rolls with no chance success.
>>47295250
let's see those hints you gave them
>>47307162
While that's a shitty situation, I would say it's better to ask for rolls and secretly set the DC impossibly high than to flat out tell a player "this will not work so I will not let you try it"
