>Played Heroes and Hydras yesterday
>Group has a new member - a Spartan
>Lemme guess: does he build a fighter?
>Of course he builds a fighter
Why do people do this?
>>47272404
And yet no-one complains about Athenians making ' cosmic philosophers ', where living in a barrel and writing poems means being able to summon lightning .
>>47272404
Lo, fellow men of taste. I have created my next character! A half-bull half-dog half-man with a strange curved sword from the land of the Nubians! He also believes that the gods are false!
>Hades Master brings his young teen lover into the group
>"no trust me guys, he's not like the others, I really think he fits into the group"
>plays marty stu Sacred Band of Thebes character
Ok what's his brotherly soldier partner?
>fucking Ares
>HM lets him do it
>boy calls the HM "oh Ares"
>party Hoplite stops using his spear because all the sex jokes the boy keeps using makes him uncomfortable
>party seer is forced to prophesize the death of the boys in-game wife and Ares comforting him
>when the seer fucks with the kid and says that Ares will abandon him in battle the HM penalizes the shit out of him and the seer almost leaves the group
At least he's kinda hot and we take turns taking the olive oil to his ass but seriously is there any time where this ends well?
![tumblr_npoozihW2N1rit3gho1_1280[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rRNUhYL.jpg "tumblr_npoozihW2N1rit3gho1_1280[1].jpg")
>Running a Hellenic campaign
>That Guy rolls up a Hebrew Jew
Why does he always have to be such a special snowflake?
>>47272404
>Sign up for new group after seeing flyer at the acropolis
>HM has a custom setting
>read it
>some city stae from north of Megela Hellas conquered the world in it.
>Their once mighty empire is beset by barbarians and they worship a carpenter as the one true god
>laugh my ass off.
>>47272715
tipskonos.jpg
>>47272752
Hebrew Jews are actually pretty balanced in the latest eddition. As long as you're not using Bronze Age rules, you should be fine.
>>47272404
I have never heard of this and I am really interested for the game only from its name. Any help?
>>47272470There's a Pathfinder Witch archetype in Arcane Anthology for this.
They don't get a dog familiar.
>be me
>be playing the classic Odyssey module
>all having a blast from the past, killan Cyclops and stuff
>That Hades Master introduces a witch
>transforms men into pigs
I thought "Dare you you enter my Circe Realm?" was a meme.
>Be playing H&H campaign
>Playing as the son of a nobleman doing his time as a hoplite
>Party runs into a sorceress
>She fucking curses me and makes my dick fucking 14 inches long
>Now everyone thinks I'm a country yokel that fucks sheep
Any other That Hades Master stories?
Guys, they asked me to play that Legend of the Five Ziggurats thing.
Is it some weeb shit about muh astrological magic or does it feature actual ancient Babylonian-inspired content?
>>47273033
Fucking romans, dude.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Ass
Has anyone hear played in that Tin Islands setting? I hear it has massive standing stones and people covered in blue dye.
Do you think it's accurate?
>>47272470
Look at this hetero over here.
Anyways, something happened at my FLA:
>Be at the agora buying a new supplement scroll for Heroes and Hydras III/V edition
>Notice that they've started supplying Kopis μX armies
>"Hey, i just might buy some" i thought and buy myself a cenTAUr army
>Carve the marble and go back to the FLA to play with somebody
>Play against a sea-hoplite army and the guy flips his shit, calling me Persian and calling cenTAUrs overpowered
>Then an actual Persian comes up and starts talking about his favorite Egyptian vases and asked unironically who my kouridie alochofu was
>Sold my cenTAUr army then and there and never returned to the hobby
At least it's better than those tauries and their Odys Sues i had to deal with when i tried my hands at playing Dark Heleny that one time....
>>47273142
Dude, don't believe all that shit about L5Z being weeb bait. It focusses a lot more on politics and shit than "muh bronze sword folded 0 times"
>>47273316
I know a guy from Syracuse, who knows a guy from Megela hellas who's been to the tin islands a few times. He tells me that, yes, there are some blue-painted savages and weird standing stones, but there's also a bunch of dudes fucking sheep and freezing naked in the rain.
>>47273350
So it's like the Boshporos then?
>>47273371
It's like the bosphoros, but colder, wetter, and everyone there speaks like sheep.
>>47273408
Barbaroi. Why fuck an animal when there are perfectly good boys around.
>>47273033
>Be group's forever HM
>Pitch campaign taking place over the crypteia
>players will be introduced to mysteries, slay helots, drink watered down wine, etc
>That Guy brings his character scroll
>wants to play a beardless youth who openly curses the gods, 2dgy
>fuck it, whatever, maybe he'll just shut up if he gets what he wants
>a few sessions later
>everything good, wrap up session
>get summoned before the democratically elected council
>they say they're going to put me on trial for "corrupting the youth"
>because i'm letting someone play an impious Heroes and Hydras character
>kick that fucker out of my group but they're still bringing me to trial
Anybody ever have this happen before? Should I be worried? My trial is next week.
>>47273569
Ever hear of Socrates? Best pray to Themis
>>47273569
Just go to the trial and fucking apologise. Don't say it was just a game. Don't get angry at them. Doing that will just make them either execute you or ostrasize you.
Just say it won't happen again, and in the future, you will be mindful of heresy among your compatriots.
>>47273520
Their boys are also painted, hairy and fuck sheep
>>47272847
Personally, I like running Hebrew Jews, but their fucking sourcebook is ridiculous. Have you read their background? It goes on and on about all the strictures on being a Jew and how you have to have a special bloodline, but then half their stories end with Kings and other important people just magically becoming Jews after they see how great Jews are!
Also, they have these weird rules against taking young men as lovers. Totally ridiculous, no such culture could function.
>>47273350
Will consider it.
On this note did anyone get to check out the translated scrolls from the orient, for total weebness?
The one about Hyerodules pleasing the chief priest (which I dearly hope is played for laughs and does not go too much into Echidna Musume land) and the egyptian one about playing cutesy small animal-headed gods that aid a Nile village.
>>47273569
Were are you from, Arcadia? Shit like this seems to come out straight from Pericles period, damn the gods.
so what is everyone's opinion on Rhomphaia being canned in favor of Age of Alexandros?
>>47273717
I dunno, I like the Macedonian cavalry, but the ruleset for their infantry is shit
I gotta say this Teratoi Cardia thing is pretty gud. Sure, you can't play it without having distanced yourself a little from you gymnasion days but it's a nice change form you usual "slay the minotaur" game. I played a Gorgones
>>47273775
Just play Seleucids. All the advantages of Macedon and you get to use the old Parsa roster.
I'm just angry about Aegyptus being replaced by The Ptolemaic Despotate
Guys, what should i do?
>Running H&H campaign set Egypt
>Everybody makes a character using official vases, but that guy wants to make one using his homebrew
>Whatever, let him do it
>First session comes and the roles are as following: Spartan hoplite, Arcadian oracle, Athenian thief´
>And then there's that guy with his Persian immortal
>Look over his character scroll and see the following:
>Weapon Shamshir, finesse, 1marble12+dex+str
>Immortal class bonuses: Get +2 on all stats
>Backstory: Admatah was the heir to king, but he took off after he discovered that he was special. He was raped at a young age by his brothers and mother, so he cut them all in half. He joined some Crete traders, who then raped him and Admatah cut them down in a single swing too. Admatah sees no value in weaklings' lives, always wears a dark toga, long hair and no beard. He is the best swordsman in all of Persia and left for Greece because something something demons who his father, glowing eyes and other dumb Persian stuff
>Alignment: hedonist neutral
>Alarm goes off in my head, but try to see if he plays it wellHint: he doesn't
>He always monologues when he does anything, is always trying to kill everything and complaining all the time when i keep telling him to change his shamshir stats to those found in the core book
What do i do? The next symposium is in two days and i can't just kick him because he is my brother's eromenos.
>>47273892
Awesome, I just found the scrolls with their rules. I'll just have to repaint the banners and I'll be all set.
Send the players on a side-quest to Helenis; they are Helenic, so they're the most suited to the quest. While they're there, Have the Persian receive a bunch of flack for being a filthy Persian, and see if you can make him quit.
>>47274222
meant to reply to >>47274092
>>47274092
How is the Egypt setting? Do you get too many Egyptaboos and their Kopesh-fetishism?
>>47272918
master baiter or legitimate retard?
>>47272847
they're basically shitty vestial virgins, except with more things that can make them fall besides "getting pregnant", just look at their ban list:
>touching women when they're menstruating
>eating seafood
>eating cheese
>doing anything useful on the day of Chronos
>can't wear mixed fibres
>can't fuck men
>can't bugger women
>needs a special prestige class to even be able to suck off a child, and even then can only do it on special occasions
But just think about that shit for a second, do you know how to spot a menstrauting woman? YOU CAN'T, not if they're just walking around like people! Well, I suppose you could take the Eyes of Hera feat... OH WAIT, hebrewites can't!
And do you know what armor is made of? MIXED FIBRES!
So no armor, constant fear of being menstrated on by the Hades keeper, and for what?
Fucking sling bonus.
>>47274973
>legitimate retard
is my guess, but who can say these days
Persians: OP or horned?
>>47275202
I think you're getting mixed up with the Levite Priestige class there, friend.
Carthago delenda est!Greeks also a shit.
>>47275482
Get lost Romefag. Nobody wants to play GARU
>>47275546
I have a confessionI like playing the Legionary class from the H&H Rome expansion
>>47275202
>they're just walking around like people!
What setting do you play where women are allowed out of the house and are just walking around like that.
This thread is gold.
>playing through custom campaign
>whole thing feels like bad Homer fan fiction
>literally rips off the Cyclops dungeon and the Scylla/Charydbis chapter
>Hades Master introduces his custom 'homebrew demigod class' NPC
>fucking gayest gary stu I've ever seen, the best at EVERYTHING
>we all take a backseat while the HM just makes his own character the sole protagonist
worst fucking group i've ever played with
>>47273892
I prefer Baktria. Classic successor discipline, but with access to some really nice advantages, like elephants!
>>47275925
>Persian gold
>not Athenian silver
Fuck off.
>>47276163
>successors
Fucking Macedonians.
>playing H&H
>rolled a paladin from the house of Atreus
>made cardinal mistake of telling HM my character's family is still alive
>contrives a stupid "lol your mother killed your father, what do?" subplot to force my paladin to fall
>end up avenging father
>surprise surprise "lol you did evil, now the Furies are after you"
Seriously, what is the deal with asshole HMs like this?
>>47276527
What you do is you wait until they are distracted by the slave boy under the table then you drop poison in their wine.
>>47276527
HMs really seem to hate alignment-based classes.
What god did your paladin serve? If it was anyone other than grey-eyed Athena, you are a lady-fucker.
>Playing Warsfyri
>New guy
>A Macedonian comes in
>Figure he's new and offer a friendly game to welcome him (be secretly prepare my cheap-tactic army)
>guy metaphorically bends me over the table and fucks me with some off-the-wall tactics
>Then literally bends me over the table and fucks me
You don't think he could apply his strategies to real armies, do you?
>>47276982
depends what were they?
>be Carthaginian
>playing H&H
>invite my Egyptian friend over, everything goes fine, he's a great player
>group is just fine, everyone's got a decent role
>Egyptianbro is running his Paladin of Horus, there's a Spartan running a Hoplite whose shield returns to him when thrown, and the Iberian's Slinger just will not stop rolling high damage
>they're delving into a mausoleum and everything is fine, but when a trapped mosaic placed inside animates Egyptbro gets fidgety
>starts awkwardly trying to negotiate with it
Did I just drop him into his Circe Realm without realizing? How do I apologize? What am I supposed to do?
>>47277698
Have you tried sucking him off when this happens?
>>47277698
Let him have it, of course, he's going to be very grateful in private sessions.
>>47274946
Just find a good group of philosophers instead of Egyptaboos and you should have a fun time.
Allignment discussions: Do you guys play Stoics or Hedonists? Moral or Immoral?
>>47272404
>Look at those Greeks playing GURPS
>look at their advance mathematics and laugh
True roman here, playing true roman LARP like a real manly man who has no need for gay ass greek shit like maths.
>>47280861
See, you're saying words, but all I hear is "bar bar bar bar bar." Does anyone understand this Romacuck?
>>47280848
Stoic is best allignment. Hedonists go home.
>>47272404
Beautiful Aphrodite is my waifu.
(But mighty Hera and wise Athena are by no means less beautiful).
>>47280880
You expect a Romecuck to use intelligent words when they can't come up with original gods, I mean taking Greek gods is a bad start ,but changing names and claiming that's original ? Please don't make me laugh
Also Celtics FTW
>>47280910
Trojans.jpg
>>47280880
Stoic Moral is best alignment
> this whole thread
>>47277698
Does he react the same way to carved tiles?
>>47272470
>>47280861
>>47280910
Go shit another thread, you barbarians
Bet you don´t even wear proper togas
>>47281062
>Mountainnigger
>Calling anyone else a barbarian
laughingparsi.jpg
Honestly I think H&H is really problematic. It's time to stop sucking off the crusty Greek men who made it, and time we recognised their toxic bigotry.
Have you seen the artwork? Have you read the lore? It's all about Greek men, and Persian men, and Ethiopian men, but there's nothing about marginalised groups like Germanics or even Celts. Celts make up most of Europe! But you won't see them in H&H.
There's a tonne of interesting ethnic mythology out there. We should be playing as Medb or Siegfried, not Medusa or Circe. As modern, civilised Greeks, it's time we threw off the trappings of our bigotted ancestors and embrased diversity.
>>47281169
I bet you suck on 12 inch barbarian cocks
>>47281182
That's another thing. We need to understand that H&H is filled with toxic views on masculinity. Some of us are born with big dicks! It's not our fault we don't live up to your idealised standard of athletic boys with tiny cocks.
Just look at the official statue of one of the most popular H&H characters in the First Generation setting. It reinforces unrealistic body-image standards, giving the impression to insecure teenagers that they NEED to have a small penis to be heroes. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and it's time H&H accepted that.
>>47272404
I mean, why build a philosopher when you can build a fighter?
Or, don't tell me, is it an Agora heavy campaign?
>>47281225
Go back to whatever canyon you and your fellow barbarian lovers use to listen to Echo repeat whatever you say
>all these greek parasites itt
jupiter almighty, get a life
>>47272743
What the fuck is wrong with you sophists? Why do you always make passive-agressive grafiti on Argive ceramic-painting forum walls instead of actually *doing* anything about it?
For Zarathustra's sake, it's not exactly difficult. Instead of being a passive agressive shit, walk up to your HM and steal some of his hair so you can make a magic charm out of it and curse him and his lover.
>>47281369
>Celtcuck thinks he gets to talk shit about anything else
>>47275202
>So no armor, constant fear of being menstrated on by the Hades keeper, and for what?
>Fucking sling bonus.
You can pull some crazy shots off with that bonus.
>>47281381
at least I'm conquering the world while you're sitting in you mother's shrine playing pretend.
>>47281414
>G-get out of ma swamp!
How the fuck are you going to conquer the world when you can't even keep celts out of your fly-infested shithole of a """"city""""?
>>47281428
wow
I had heard that this board was infested by /polis/ but this is something else
>>47281410
Oh boy, reminds me of a game I ran.
>Running Israelite campaign (yeah I know but the players wanted to try something different)
>That Guy rolls up the most retarded "hero" I've ever seen
>Literally just a shepherd boy. Not the son of a god, not a great king, literally just a shepherd in the middle of bumfuck nowhere
>Whatever
>They go to a palace, and the king is telling them about the Big Bad
>That Guy fucking pipes up "I'll kill him!"
>This is the BBEG, the players aren't even meant to meet him for ten sessions
>So naturally they all agree with him and say they'll fight the guy, fucking up my entire plotline
>I want to teach them a lesson, so I make the BBEG as fucking powerful as possible
>Tall boon, great general
>I start to get sorry for the bastard, so I offer him some of the king's armour
>"no"
>He literally just refuses the armour, so I make him wear it anyway but he kicks up enough stink that I say it doesn't fit him or some bullshit
>Now I'm really mad, so I make him face the BBEG all alone without any support
>I'm laughing, so ready to see his face when the BBEG squashes his special snowflake of a character
>He just smirks, and rolls to attack with his sling
>Natural
>Fucking
>Twenty
>Literally killed the BBEG in one session
>MFW
>>47281410
That's actually a good design bit.
>Jews get massive sling bonus
>Sling crits ignore ALL ARMOR, even divine protection
>Using Logic, therefore Jews would dispense with armor and prefer slings
Of course, there's lots of references in the sourcebook to Jews using swords, or even that fucking Max Strength Jew with his "Jawbone" weapon, so that kind of contradicts my theory.
>>47281575
>Using Logic
There's your problem. Gaios Galenos was a notorious sophist, which is why everything looks cool if you don't look too hard at it, but nothing actually makes sense. People think Homer and his histories was GG's main inspiration, but actually Protagoras and to an extent Herodotus were who he took his ideas from (he even says so at the beginning of the scroll).
Samson was fucking bullshit, anyway. Blatantly just a rip-off of Herakles, except with some special snowflake malus (I fucking hate that barbarian word, by the way) about his *hair*.
>>47281734
>and his histories
and his epics ἀστερίσkος
>>47281528
Were you using Bronze Age edition? It's notorious for being ridiculously unbalanced.
What do we all think about hephaestusworld's almost total focus on Λx: Peloponessian War?
I'm glad that we're finally getting models for the big generals like Gylippus and Endymion, but they really dropped the ball with Alcibiades' sculpt.
The barbarian players in the gaming group keep whining about how the setting is basically Greeks vs Greeks with a side of Persian. The Assyrian player is especially salty since he hasn't had an Hegemonic Panolpia since The fall of Nineveh.
>>47282683
Ain't nothing wrong with greeks vs greeks. Barbarian players can go fuck themselves.
>>47272404
>/θγ/
>not /τγ/
Look at this Persian. Look at him and laugh.
>>47280910
>Beautiful Aphrodite
>Not clever Eris
>Not baleful Persephone
laughingfuries.vase
>>47272811
lel
>>47273331
>PersianIs it supposed to be a weeb or a commie joke
>Playing Labyrinths and Legates
>we all meet at the forum
>>47280861
Don't you have circles to disturb?
>>47284016
Such a burn like that of Icarus flying close to Helios.
>>47281528
Things that never happened.
>>47283618
>Clever Eris
>Baleful Persephone
>Not snakecloaca Echidna or Liontits Sphinx
laughingfurries.vase
>>47284490
Special snowflake That Guy detected.
>>47284545
What? That thread is full of autismos, and I call "bullshit" on insta natural 20 kill?
>>47284016I don't get it.
>>47281528
>>47284490
I got it.
>>47284588
ENLIL ALMIGHTY
>>47284588
Fantasy books dont count
>>47284655
This whole board is literally run on mythological epics you sophistic /lit/izen. Don't you have a wooden plank to get sodomised on?
>>47284682
Don't you?
>>47284682
How about getting your own board not infesting it with memelogy
>>47272963
underrated post
>>47284578
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noli_turbare_circulos_meos!
Educate yourself
Reminder that Socrates did nothing wrong.
>>47287367
Except dying.
>>47283523
>/τγ/
>Not /ππ/Traditional games is παραδοσιαkά παιχνίδια
>>47288030
Spotted the nerd
:^)
>>47272404
Theta transliterates to th you cuck.
