What are your group's inside jokes?
Ever since an early session of exalted more than a decade ago, a whispered "Eat the baby" when someone is being asked to do something evil. One member of the party had attended a feast at Raksi's palace, and he was a bit surprised at the menu and tried to fit in.
>>47255315
Cloak of Resistance. It saves lives.
Tree...into tree steed?!
NEW COMBO
>>47255315
Venty the Skeleton, aeronaut extraordinaire and current director of ARES Macrotechnology.
Sand, paladin erotica, green flames, road safety and violating the Geneva convention.
"You asked me to tell you about my plans ahead of the time, so... I'm going to <do some mundane activity>."
It roughly translates to "I'm gonna kill the bitch."
Can I roll an appraise check on the little girl?
>Ye old x
Where in x is a modern day item/ place/concept that you probably wouldn't find in a world of sword and sorcerory adventure.
>>47255315
Occasionally we give wildly descriptive actions in combat, shit like,
> I smell my crossbows and flash back to a time when I was in the academy, remembering exactly how my training officer told me to aim...
Originally we did this to mock another player who spent way too long describing his actions or justifying them. Eventually it just became a thing to do if you're bored.
>>47255315
You wouldn't understand.
>>47255515
You just described Anakin Skywalker.
Fifty feet of chain attached to a javelin.
The furniture.
>>47255315
I stumble over my words one time, and now anytime law-enforcement shows up, my players refer to them as "copstitutes."
In another game with a different GM, he gave a villain a name nobody could pronounce, so the party started calling him Julio. They said it enough they got the GM to say it by accident.
Balors in fishnets.
>>47255315
We randomly yell "It's cursed!" when an object and/or npc looks suspicious, since a particularly obnoxious player that used to play with us did it all the time
Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
We ended up re-creating this scene without or DMs knowledge, once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlOoSsfU6cM
>>47255315
One guy never wears pants, his first feat is usually 'backstab', and he dumps his spare points into charisma.
>>47255315
party rogue had a good idea to misdirect town guards by having street urchins dress in cloaks similar to the party's smaller members. It might have worked if he hadn't approached a group of them and said, "where can I find small boys?"
From that point forwards, that rogue was labeled a sex offender.
>>47255315
Our barbarian being willing (and mostly able) to eat just about anything. He has a surgically implanted bag of holding that houses small imps who shovel it into his stomach.
Also "But can I get one that fires rats?"
"Hello, fellow X! I see you, too, are an X!"
Also, horses in general.
>>47255315
We playin Call of Cthulhu.
One guy tries to pronounce Bernardo Dediaz, except he fucks it up. I finish his sentence for him "Banana DeDiaz". Whos this Banana DeDiaz we're investigating? "TELL US WHERE BANANA DEDIAZ IS".
Get to boss fight. Team targets Bernardo Dediaz. Shots miss. "A reichet flies off Bernardo Dediaz and hits Banana DeDiaz."
>>47255315
We always chant "DAEMON HOST! DAEMON HOST!" over and over again whenever the Psyker rolls perils of the Warp in a 40k rpg.
>>47255315
Someone always tries to get up reall close and blow in my ear whenever i blindfold roll
>>47255315
We always take the first right we come across in dungeons. Started as a play on right/correct. Then it turned out that on many of the modules we ran taking the first right instead of going forward or left led straight to the final boss.
Flaming decapitated dire zombie weasel.
"Foolish girl... I can SUCK"
"I am ready for some fun!"
our paladin defending a girl, who was about to be assaulted by some men in a bar.. cause as they said "We just want some fun with her"
it lead to us teasing the Paladin for being homogay and wanted to be brutalized by peasants..
Announcing "I have a cunning plan!" and then winging it is considered adequate legwork for any mission.
>>47255865
One of our inside jokes is the same.. We ALWAYS go right in dungeons. all time erry time!. we dont even need to be rail roaded.. we do it fine by ourselves ;)
"Drop him on the floor,break his dick!!"
>>47255315
Everyday our group tells in taverns and iins it's my character's birthday to try and get free drinks, songs, the whole crowd cheering and singing "happy birthday to you" with them, whatever. Except on his fucking birthday.
Now the fuckers do it to me irl.
For some reason, my players have decided that I, the DM, and not the narrator. The narrator is instead a phoenix version of Mister Raven from Billy and Mandy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpFdP5yATw0
>>47255315
>"I found the Titans."
From when we played Rogue Trader and our Explorator wanted to go looking for Titans in every. single. session.
>"Breadboxes."
From our tendency to use breadboxes as a unit of measurement.
>"You saw potato."
We have very bad perception rolls.
>>47255315
Botch and Fumble are two recurring joke NPC's who are incompetent goons incapable of doing anything other than rolling critfails and pratfalling across time and space. Whenever an NPC chronically fails their rolls, we name them either Botch or Fumble. Botch and Fumble have manifested in multiple games, settings and even across groups.
There has been slashfic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaIdv79Xz4
when we meet a new player characther we always crack the "you seem trustworthy" as a joke before we continue to do a properly introdution of the new kid
>Playing 3 separate D&D campaigns in the same setting, each one on a separate one of the 3 main continents.
>None of the campaigns are over and we routinely play a session or two of each while the respective rotating GM takes control.
>One time the party in one campaign gets stuck on a boat with the other two campaign parties.
>Each player is roleplaying 3 different people in this clusterfuck.
>One comments on how similar a lot of these people are in personality to each other.
>We look through the Backstories and apparently half of them all have the "Mysterious missing father" background.
>Its now tradition for the party to ask every reoccurring NPC "Am I related to you?" Regardless of location or race of the NPC.
>We've even got a table for that.
>>47255991
That's high praise
>GET ME A BAGEL, BEN
>Zedruu always wins.
>Blootoof the recurring Ork
>For Fun! and profit, but less profit than fun
>fucken shut up Hunter.
Bear ranch, the invention of hamburgers, gay romance, and electric popping.
>>47256061
>>Blootoof the recurring Ork
We have that too, except it's a level 2 sorcerer who always manages to get stuck in places that would have killed her dozens of times over to get to.
>fucken shut up Hunter.
Where'd this come from?
Timn a prophetic and holy champion who died to a pit trap.
"Making my way downtown walking fast faces pass and I'm X bond"
"Nice boy, does our medical work"
Joe Smoe a one off NPC a player asked the name of then promptly forgot upon getting to his place of living.
This one isn't so much a inside joke but all our tech characters are always inept and unlucky which has made them the butt end of most stories.
Killing elves and placing their lifeless bodies so that one elf is touching the other's butt.
Welcome to the Flaming Faggot!
>>47255315
One of my players joked that an earth elemental they were facing down was piloted by an NPC, suspecting that said NPC had betrayed them for the villain.
There is now, canonically, a 'G Golem' society in the setting, and one of the villains is actually capable of piloting a golem equivalent to a mecha.
>>47255315
The joke is thatthey don't fucking exist
>>47256089
we have a friend called Hunter. He's a good friend, but he's thicker than my dick, thicker than two short planks, thicker than a very thick thing indeed. It's basically shorthand for
>you're being a retard, please stop
because nobody wants to be Hunter.
We also played a game of Rogue Trader where there was a safari world and
>Huntala Guntala
was an NPC who was meant to be Hunter. It got kinda meta and extremely self-referential after that.
>>47255693
WIE?!
>>47255315
I once described our adventuring style as 'chucklefuckery' and it kind of stuck.
Loosing the horses. To the point that we try to get horse insurance.
>>47255315
Our fighter got a bonus language from whichever background it was and didn't put anything in the slot for a few levels. He eventually filled it with "Violence". You'd be amazed what you can do when you're fluent in Violence.
awarding 'Weapon Proficiency: [thing that is not a weapon]' for non-standard kills
Originally from a game where our paladin bust through a wall kool-aid man style to try and surprise the would-be robber in the adjacent inn bedroom. Said robber was already on 0 health thanks to our rogue not being incompetent, but the wall collapsing on him killed him before the party could get any information. Thus, 'Weapon Proficiency: Walls"
This was later nerfed to Interior Walls after he threatened to attack the BBEG with his own castle.
>>47256192
I dread to imagine what would it take to loose horses repeatedly.
>>47256018
...Michael?
Whenever several choices come up, Option C is the real answer.Option C is stick it in.
Grappling is Rape Check
>>47256205
>'Weapon Proficiency: Dwarf'
I remember that game
"I roll to detect pastry," after a situation in which a played had said so and rolled a 20 after a particularly unlucky series of rolls. I felt as if I had to give him something.
>>47256205
>attack the BBEG with his own castle
jesus fucking christ
>>47256251Pretty sure you don't because I made that shit up based on a dark heresy one-shot I never played again, but here's your reply
Any shitty roll for a disguise check is met with "You slap some mud onto your face. It's very offensive"
"You see, your problem is you lack confidence. If you had confidence, like me Santiago, you wouldn't have these problems." - Said in a suave Spanish accent
John, the destroyer of plots, bane of city, and the man to never piss off. (He destroyed 3 cities, and utterly ruined a character's life so much that he went from top vampire to worse than Sabbat shovelheads.)
Michael, the cosmetic butt monkey. If bad decisions were incarnate, this man would be him. "Wait, you took the unlucky flaw and have a nuclear reactor in your house?" "Yes, I don't see what would go wrong." - GM is a nuclear engineer
>Rolls a botch with 4 1's with 7 dice while investigating a crime scene
>Ends up breaking part of a building onto the alleyway destroying all the evidence
>>47256251
"Roll to find traps"
>relatively high roll
You don't see any traps
"Roll to find *invisible* traps"
>nat 20
...you find all of the invisible traps
"cool, how many?"
Zero. You find all zero invisible traps
Fucking paranoid rogues
In a previous campaign, I introduced a character named "Kenneth" (no surname was ever given). He was a low-level bureaucrat who was only trying to help, but I was kind of drawing a blank on the answers the PCs wanted from him at the time so, as a result, Kenneth came off like a bumbling idiot. And, for whatever reason, this particular bumbling idiot became a lightning rod for the players' collective hate.
During the course of the campaign, Kenneth went from a low-level bureaucrat to a drunken, homeless divorcee. His failure became a kind of running joke. He actually cleaned up and got his job back at one point, but the PCs quickly saw that that ended. Later in the game, the party (by now famous and wealthy) were accosted by a beggar. They recognized the beggar as Kenneth, and shouted to the guards that he had try to pickpocket them. They asked that he be beaten "viciously", and he was.
I'm not sure this is specific enough to be an inside joke, but if someone ever pulls off something with a ridiculous or unusual build or circumstance, everyone starts yelling, "New meta!!"
One of the PCs 'discovered' what was basically a lift in an old dwarven city and proceeded to name it the 'Bhaxan Norixius Contraption' after himself.
Pretty everything which had a c-word was called something similar at least once, his pet was a 'cat', the group was a 'crew', I think there was a potion or 'concoction'. You get the idea.
It was pretty funny.
>You can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind.
Any time a social event that involves dancing comes up.
>His face, his face, his beautiful and only face
Headshots, pummelling, any grievous bodily harm
>You see through time / You are Morgan Freeman / You knew Jesus personally
Nat 20 perception, diplomacy and Knowledge Religion checks respectively
>HELLO EVERYBODY!
Catchphrase of a oneshot character done in Shadowrun that was so egregiously dickish that any mention of him is punishable by slapping
The Magical War Crimes Bird.
Tsear death counter.
Saying "Helneth did it" whenever something remotely bad happens.
The party construct keeping track of how many friends he has.
"My name is Hallow." "Hello to you too"
Falko did nothing wrong.
"I'm a goddamn immortal!"
Some of them browse /tg/. I hope they see it.
Chaotic retarded.
>>47256467
Holy shit your party is filled with assholes.
>>47255315
>using craf(golem) to create battlebots
I added a golem fighting arena in one of the cities. just as flavor and some fun, the campaign came to a screeching halt as all five players decided that winning the golem fighting championship was their new goal in life. it gave me plenty of opportunities to throw in plot hooks for rare golem books or materials though so everyone still had fun. now I can't even mention that there are golems in a setting without them trying to start up a new golem fight club though.
>exploding kobolds
we play with exploding dice, one of the players cast magic missile and ended up doing 22 damage to a kobold with 2 health. it covered the room with gore.
>smashing (fake) dragons eggs.
part of a plot, kobolds had been payed with a Dragon's egg to fuck up a local mine. it wan't a, because who in their right mind would give a real dragon egg to a bunch of kobolds, but it was a close enough reproduction that only one of my players saw that it was fake. he picked it up and smashed it to the ground before anyone could do anything destroying 500 Gp in loot in the process. he said he thought it was trapped.
>IT WAS THE DROW!
first quest involved drow antagonists, now whenever the true antagonist is unknown it is the drow.
>>47256572
It's not an inside joke.Not a joke ,either.
"They're not Undead they're Necrotic Americans."
-The Paladin on a sentient undead slum
Boys! The Contract!
>>47256364
I was referring to my campaign,where we player got Dwarf proficiency.
>>47256657
>I added a golem fighting arena in one of the cities. just as flavor and some fun, the campaign came to a screeching halt as all five players decided that winning the golem fighting championship was their new goal in life. it gave me plenty of opportunities to throw in plot hooks for rare golem books or materials though so everyone still had fun. now I can't even mention that there are golems in a setting without them trying to start up a new golem fight club though.
I try to build battle mecha in pretty much every game that could possibly support it.
Warhammer 40k, Shadowrun, Stars Without Number, Fallout, even in fantasy I try making golems.
Here's a few gems.
Using psychically connected rats as walkie talkies.
Great Arthropod Wizard of our time, the Spelling Bee
"I worship Dyslexia, Goddess of Spelling!"
"Wow, past you was a dick"
"Wow, future you is a dick"
Screaming "WE'RE ENTERING THE BONE ZONE" when traveling to the underground skeleton necropolis hub town.
Elephants have a racial bonus to stealth.
All of our antagonists being named "That guy", "The one with the eyepatch" or "you know, him"
Turnips cause stock crashes.
"I urinate on the cat."
Said when we run out of ideas for what to do. Came about during a discussion of how door-knocking would work in a setting where most homes have airlocks due to severe air pollution ("I knock" "No, I don't think knocking would work. Maybe a doorbell?" "Were doorbells invented yet?") so in desperation one of the players announced "I urinate on the cat, see if that gets their attention."
Wubba Lubba Gloop Doop, the Flumph Fighter that the cleric took over for a brief bit of time when his brain was eaten by a mindflayer.
Lesbian Werebear Paladins
5E's DM screen has a table for rolling quick NPC names, so the players now try to initiate conversation with every single no-name, background character to force me to roll on the chart.
Unleashing "ancient, unspeakable evils" at every corner.
"Where's the Dwarf?"
Eric's puns, the horrible, horrible puns
>>47255602
Story time?
>>47256990
Well, it got the Warforged Fighter and Dragonborn Paladin onto the dragon's back as it flew over the castle in what was supposed to be the DM introducing the over-arching threat of the entire campaign. We kind of ran into the problem of a dog chasing a car where we didn't know what to do once our stunt actually worked. That said, the fifty feet of chain attached to a javelin has been a staple of every campaign since then.
One of my Jedi PC's has an obsession with finding a signed picture of Sheev Palpatine in my Star Wars game. I make him roll my 60 sided dice every time he looks for loot to see if he finds one.
This is the picture I have printed out to hand to him if he ever rolls a 60.
The Irish in general.
Man just typing their name makes me chuckle.
>>47255315
Every character the GMs wife plays has hooves.
>>47255315
Your mom
No seriously, it just popped up one day and then another player character was a mother who said to her estranged daughter when being asked who she though she was "your mom, now get in the damn car!"
CAAAAAW MOTHER FUCKER!
Railroading and retcons are met with clicking
>>47256210
It's mostly our own dumb asses leaving them behind for one reason or another.
>>47256593
There have been parallels drawn between that situation and this man. Every time the PCs enter his life it just gets worse.
>The dame rejects you and instead is seduced by the X in the corner. Roll to kill yourself.
Whenever high charisma PCs roll to pick up chicks, they always fail and some X creature with negative charisma nat 20s the roll. Every. Fucking. Time.
>We leave
I've had players just flat out teleport away from the BBEG's lair or do their damnedest to escape and actually succeed. This has ironically worked out for the best.
>I AM PURE AND 100% DEVOTED TO MY WAIFU
Party bard regularly tries to seduce me away from my wife at least once a session. Despite having an average Will I've nat 20'd out of it for months now
>John Smith is the most dangerous member of the party
Other players said this, its a joke between me and the DM. The party doesn't know that I'm just a level 1 commoner
>It's diplomacy time!
Players spent over an hour speaking to every-single-NPC at a ball in order to cover for a friend who was late to the game. I shudder whenever I throw a diplomacy heavy segment cause they'll actually do it, too well...
>Fucking Furry
Simultaneously my best, and worst player. Acts like the biggest retard until I finally stop laughing and realize he rule lawyered me into a corner to do something that is equally retarded and ingenuous. He is the reason I banned casters.
And finally
>Paul Walker is a recurring NPC
Creation of the Furry player when he became a cleric and demanded that the patron saint of his religion be Paul Walker. I regrettably have little concept of who this man even is, so I just have him be the most chill and relaxed NPC that doesn't question what the party does, asks nicely for them to complete quests, and offers to buy 'em all drinks. Potentially the only "straight" man in any setting and is always involved in the setting's pantheon somehow. We're running Rogue Trader currently.
What I hope become future jokes:
>I see Corgis
>Untouchable leather
>Discount store pilots
*winky faec*
Our group's is my character being kicked and/or punched in the balls
>>47255315
Mind Flayer Erotica
>>47255315
take a guess what historical event is frequently claimed to have never happened
>You fucking 10
10 INT in CoC is not great. My roommate consistently plays dumb muscle, which always seem to have 10 INT
[muffled panicked homeless man saying "don't do it!" in the distance]
>>47258012
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mYZJD_FzV4
Doritos
>>47256130
Pelinal would be proud
>>47255315
Hlynur is fucking useless
When meeting a new PC:
"You seem trustworthy. Come, join us in our noble quest."
After the party is accused doing something terrible, the Paladin usually says:
> "We may have just [X], but trust me. We're the good guys."
When casting Mass Summon Mount:
> "I SUMMON WALL OF HORSE FLESH!"
Whenever a wall, of horse flesh or otherwise, is mentioned:
> "And Mexico's gonna pay for it!"
>>47255315
Rats and cockroaches with "Fuck Off" signs whenever anyone tries to search square by square.
All tattooes are magical, sapient, and evil. All of them. No exceptions.
Anyone in the party calling an NPC "Neighbor" is the predetermined signal for the rest of the party to run distraction games so someone can get them someplace quiet to murder. Now more invoked jokingly than seriously.
The best magic item is a ring that produces sticks to poke things with. Acquiring it is worth selling out the party, killing your family, and dumping a city into the ocean. An upgraded version that makes sticks that also cast deathwatch so you can actually determine if the thing you're poking is dead is worth infinitely more.
SHINING PILLAR OF VIRTUE STANCE! (i.e. the beefiest character holds a ranged attacker/caster over their head to protect them from attack)
>>47255315
>What are your group's inside jokes?
I would have hit if not for the rule that a 1 auto-misses #RogueProblems
I never get to finish my nova-turn, because the target dies before I finish #RogueProblems
We play 4e.
>>47255315
>faggot.jpg
Whenever we look for archeaotech in Rogue Trader and fail our perception rolls this is always what we find.
>>47255315
We were on a boat, heading to a small island across a channel. Suddenly, 7 men in seaweed cloaks rose out of the water armed with daggers. My friend yells "OH SHIT NAVY SEALS" and we're fucking dead
Another is "Hit 'em with the Bible," where I smacked a satyr with a holy book so hard he started bleeding
>>47255315
>The War Rig
A junked together behemoth of a vehicle will show up one way or another in most games, having transcended from Unknown Armies.
>Honest Jebs
One of our GMs is a big Kerbal Space Program fan. When we need high explosives/rocket thrusters in any game, there will be a shack labelled "Honest Jebs" that sells what we need.
Mispronouncing debris, and bandit polka.
>>47255315
Bag of golden goblin dicks, and blowjob hand signals.
At the start of each session:
All rise for Dungeon Master Bator, Everyone stands and gives a middle finger heil followed by abloo-bloo-bloo. Then we sit and declare the meeting the x meeting of the Red Dragon.
Chanting "push" whenever a psyker casts a spell.
When someone is metagaming too hard the Metagaming dragon shows and makes them stop.
If they metagame a little the Metagaming gnome glares at them angrily.
"Turn left"
Shadowrun game where my adept's spirit guide was the ghost of Jeff Gordon. He only offered 1 piece of advice ever.
It worked out more often than it should have.
There are a few, but here are the most prevalent:
Pineapples. Just pineapples.
FOR YOU SEE, HANS... (then goes on to explain their shitty plan)
The party always contacting people at the worst times.
In Star Wars games, when given the option, you always target "The Guy on the Left". Fuck the guy on the left.
For Pathfinder, it is absolutely imperative that we know the current weather, even if we are say, inside an underground city or inside a pocket dimension.
>>47256205
>Weapon Proficiency: Walls
>>47255315
>Lilith keeping us on the rails
In the first campaign we played as a group the DM kept using a DMNPC Rogue called Lilith to come and steal shit from the party to bait us into continuing the story as half the group seemingly wanted to do nothing but piss away their fictional coins on fictional booze and fictional women like that was the sole aim of the game.
She worked well. Far to well as now half the party wanted to do nothing but chase her down and kill her.
She escaped in the end, appeared once or twice more as a joke and then never appeared again.
Now the joke comes around when we're not so much not sticking to the rails but more doing nothing at all and that we want to move shit along.
>Baby Beholder, or baby anything, appropriate encounter
Same campaign, level two, our DM throws a Beholder at us for a boss.
After he fudges the rolls to stop a TPK he came to the conclusion that it wasn't an appropriate encounter and so restated it on the spot as a baby that, rather then running, was a captive of, the cult.
Regardless, we were over-cautious from almost all getting minced that we just avoided the arena altogether.
Now it's oft joked about when an encounter seems to be a bit to tough. That we should be facing the Beholder baby again, or that couldn't we just fight the current monsters baby instead.
>Belt of Gender Change, Ring of Class-Fluidity
Same campaign, level 4, one player didn't like their character and rather then explain away their departure and the arrival of their replacement, the player joked about just getting a magical gender-flip.
So we 'just happened' to find a chest with all their new character's gear as well as a Belt of Gender change and a 'Ring of Class-Fluidity' that allowed the wearer to alter their class at will. Both had just enough magical charge left for one more use.
Using both destroyed most of their old equipment.
Whilst they have appeared since, usually devoid of charge, the entire thing is one big joke these days.
>>47255315
"Slug noises intensify." I don't even know what the fuck this one means, its older than my time in the group.
"Roll a d2 for incest." Succeeds, quite often. It's canonical, too.
"Satis waddles into Satis," for whenever someone makes a borderline autistic typo, like our GM did when he typed that.
"He was a hero." Group furry told his pet this then shot the fucker in an old yeller type situation. Only the dog was a fruit dragon, it didn't have rabies, and the foam was A1 sauce. Long story.
Nicknamed a player who wasn't there for a time "Ser Shitsalot" and any time anyone mentioned his absence, wel you know.... Stuck around Lon afterwards. Same player was also nicknamed hepatitis b for a time, as he'd to leave early, and his character, an ogryn bone 'ead was declared to have died of that disease. Now I think of it, it was quite nice he did not take it as bullying...
>>47255315
Why is it okay to joke about what is on the inside, but not what is on the outside?
Roodypoo
>The river is Tzimicies
>Strikingly.
>I AM A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERLY!
>20 kilograms of plastic distraction.
>Dwarven cling.
>Njord
>Hou (pronounced whoah) the martial archer, jack of no trades
>Carl
>The Bren rule
Dragon fire burns the soul.
>>47255403
>>47259460
Oh, and had a supplot where one of the pc's managed to forcefully marry another players sister, while covering it up with an not entirely false story about building a brothel inside the latter player's castle. Either way, the brothel joke cover up was repeated quite a lot after that.
Goblins stealing pigs, painting them green, and training them to bluff
>>47255315
We speak in a local, non-english language, whenever we assume we're speaking Elvish. It started out when one of our members was so terrible in english we basically allowed him to speak in a different language while roleplaying his elven ranger.
>>47259038
Bravo.
I want to steal the painting of Space Tom Hanks
Having Angron, Primarch of the World Eaters suddenly burst out of some door or container upon it being unlocked
>>47255315
We have our own version of Mr. Welch's list, which includes "no disco death laser" - using a dancing sword to reflect a moonbeam all over the place.
We did use a mirror to reflect it into an alcove and cause a vampire to explode once.
>>47259201
Which one of you is it? Is that you, Krieger?
>>47259471
Almost forgot
>wood chipper as a spell focus
>>47255315
Always know where your ten foot pole is.
>>47255315
"Artorias is dead"
"Lemaign is sprawled"
"I hate Grim Grim"
"Yeah? cool, and how about YOU'RE A FUCKING SWORD"
'De' the animal companion constnatly having a different gender/sex than last time it was mentioned (variable pronoun usage)
and, of course
"4 die activation."
In order of creation
>The Hunder Thawk
My Techmarine had obsession with large artillery pieces and Thunder Hawks. When explaining my brilliant plan, I ate shit while speaking and the bastardization "Hunder Thawk" happened.
> Golden Retriever's worth of Alcohol
Once again, in a magical moment of ineptitude, I had miscalculated the amount of mass in which a kilogram was, which I translated to golden retriever dogs. We had 9 sodden dead golden retrievers.
>Derrik the Cleric
Now this one wasn't me. Our worst player in the group named his Cleric "Derrik" and was the most inept cleric on the face of that planet.
And finally
>HIDE THE CUTE
We had an NPC race of Pangolds (Pangolin Kobolds), and one character became so entranced by their adorable armor plating, big ears and ability to speak through complex movements of ears, claws and tongue that she ALWAYS would attack them with a hug whenever she would meet them. When they were invited into the Pangold city, all hell broke loose....
>roll a nat 20 on perception
"You become aware of giant beings looking down on you from above. Rolling dice and determining your fate in a game of chance"
We really like meta humor
>>47259404
>not Rogal Dorn
anon please
>>47260057
>Asian stealth specialists
>>47260074
Much better.
"oops, dropped my dagger" has become the standard excuse for PCs getting caught doing stupid PC shit
don't remember exactly how it came about but i think it was when one of the PCs was sneaking around an inn trying to eavesdrop and just walked right in on the bad guys, having forgotten which room they were in.
In Carlos! tones, "Ru'Thor!"
"Anyone a were-X?"
"And the ceiling too."
Gusto, the apathetic, dwarven scout.
"You must move with Gusto." "-grunt-"
Behooven, the literal cabin boy.
"Weigh anchor!" "Lots!"
Well, there's this
Elves speak Spanish. High elves speak Portuguese.
Fae speak Esperanto.
In the first session of an Iron Kingdoms game the group went up against some Tharn. When the fight was over, one asked "how do we know they're dead?" So I had a Gobber come out from the tree line with a doctor's bag and white coat. He put a stethoscope to the Tharn, then grimly shook his head. Since then the Gobber Doc continues to show up in every adventure, only a cameo.
When the party reached the major battle of the arc, fighting their way out of a Cygnaran prison and thwarting an attempt to release some of the Blindwater Congregation's most dangerous warriors, they ended up in a bar where people were celebrating their victory. They asked "but how did they know about this? We only just got out."
And there was the Gobber Doc at the bar, raising a pint and giving them a grin. He had been sleeping off a hangover in a nearby cell and made a break for it in the confusion.
LONG
LIVE
HOUSE
DICKHOLE
>>47260221
Hey I'm going to make another character.
We refer to pushes, bull rushes, and general charging in game as booping the monster.
>>47260470
weird, that's what I call it when I stick my dick in your mom
Through the double doors.
Take a left.
Our DM always has weird stories that derail the game, so it's become an inside joke to say the game will be delayed or derailed.
Also, Fireball Z.
"Excuse me sir, do you have a cure for THIS BABY?"
Erky Timbers is nothing but a sonofabitch.
Nat 1's are just gentle caresses.
Oh shit, a pc isn't here for the session.
Guess he is just going to masturbating then.
DM, you forgot about one of the npcs in combat.
Guess he was just masturbating over there.
>"We're the [x]/"We're from the [x], we're here to help!"
Started as the regimental battle cry of my player's IG regiment when we were playing Only War, caught on to be the go to battle cry/slogan any time my players had some important position, like being part of the Inquisition, Rogue Traders, or being Solar Exalted.
>"I'd ask if you were fudging the rolls..."
I roll extremely well when I GM. I also don't have a GM screen, so my players can see the dice as I roll them. Thus, whenever anything absurdly improbable happens, like the following...
>"Tag in the psyker!"
My players all tried to grapple one mook in DH, one at a time. All five of them ended up losing to the one guy and being knocked out. Then the psyker reappeared after teleporting into the future, and shot the guy in the face. From then on they always sent in him first against any large enemies that looked like grapplers.
>"Well, you've slightly aroused them..."
Whenever my players say something that catches me off guard when interacting with an NPC and I need time to think, I usually start off with that line so that I can think of a proper reaction.
>>47260712
Oh yeah, almost forgot.
>"Oh yeah, I took the other entrance."
One of my players is chronically late, so this is the excuse when he has to show up in the middle of an improbable location mid-session.
>>47255315
"Balthazar The Bath Tsar's Busy Bizarre Bazaar" has become a recurring shop in one of my groups games, it started as a joke when I couldn't come up with a general store name, and a player and I just kept coming up with things to add to it as we went.
>>47255315
"I throw another arrow."
>Show me them dots
Started when one player nearly stat for stat copied another players character exactly, but tried to cover it up. The others caught on pretty quickly, and demanded to see his stats and, for some reason, it's become shorthand for "Stop trying to metagame"
>rapid onset pneumonia
Whenever a player has to leave early or spends a significant amount of time away from the table, this is what we default to, it used to be that they were taking a crazy long piss.
>Spelvis, Spope, Spisis, etc.
Started when we had to use Star Wars pieces for a while and we didn't know what to call half the pieces. So one player started calling two of them Space Pope and Space ISIS, decided that was too long, and shortened it to Spope and Spisis. From then on, in any space setting when referring to something that doesn't exist it's referred to as Space X and eventually Spx.
>Gumption
I was running a guard once, who a player bluffed past when before he was mildly hostile to them. I had him say he liked their gumption and said told them to look it up when they looked at him confused. It's become a go to tool to get past guards.
>>47255985
You have an awesome group
>>47255315
"Is the building made of wood"
Came from them lighting the only wooden building in the entire stone, Dwarven city.
- "Hey, you wanna buy a door?" (said in a thick new jersey accent)
- casual anti-warforged racism, despite insistence that they are 'people now'
- dead hooker tokens
- door to door door salesmen.
- "when in doubt, set everything on fire"
- murderous flying undead viking longships
- Greasy Pete, cleric and priest of the God of Flavor.Deep Fry EVERYTHING
- "But I could do it last edition!"
The first session of the current campaign, which we decided should be serious in tone, about political maneuvering and spy games, opened with the party assaulting a lamp post and accidentally setting the town on fire.
>Did we loot the Minotaur?
>DM we loot the Minotaur!
>You find: a loincloth.
>Did we loot the Vrock?
>DM we loot the Vrock!
>You find: a loincloth.
We have a stupid tendency to loot things that obviously have no loot.
>>47260634
A few more that I've remembered:
>I glare contemptuously as a free action.
Used whenever the party encounters an airborne or otherwise consistently out of reach foe. Our Barbarian in particular never packed ranged options for combat, so the fight would start, all melee opponents would die, and the barbarian would just be standing there, in rage, waiting for the fucker to GET ON HIS LEVEL.
>Might I interest you in some fine leather coats?
I can't remember what exactly started this one. I think the party was in some urban sewer or slum or something and were beset by unsavory folks. Our rogue, doing rogue things and scouting ahead, found himself face to face with a bunch of brigands or goblins or whatever and the first thing he blurted out to them was "Might I interest you in some fine leather coats?" And so of course he pulled out a bunch of leather armor and stuff he had looted before from the last encounter. Rolled Diplomacy, and actually did well enough to stall the fuckers until the rest of the party came up. So now whenever a party member dick-checks an encounter there's a chance they'll open with "Can I interest you in some fine leather coats?"
>X, even.
We play on Maptool, meaning each character is represented via an impersonate-able token, and since Skype isn't exactly the best or most comfortable way to roleplay your characters, we instead write our dialogue out.
So of course this leads to typos. Which tend to be silly when you consider you're writing dialogue in character. And whenever a character finishes a sentence with a misspelling or typo, (myself included) it's become a practice to quickly quip after the sentence with the erroneous word's correct spelling, followed by ", even." I.E:
>"But I thought the kobolds crossed the rivre?"
>"River, even."
>What are you doing under that saddle?
>...Checking it for durability?
My Cleric isn't very good at hiding
>>47255315
We always give one player in our group a +12 skill bonus to use rope, or any rope related skills. The reason for this is because in the first game of 3.5 we ever played he put in 12 ranks into his use rope skill and never used it.
>>47255315
>IT BOUNCES OF THE CHAINMAIL!
>"You have a stroke."
Our warlock would often crit fail when people ask him questions about lore, and because he is ancient he would go completely silent and stare off into space. He would snap back and say a variant of "Sorry, I had a(nother) stroke."
>"Let's have a round of applause for ______"
Our DM has the bad habit of think out loud, often times during initiative checks and checking the initiative list to see whose turn it is. One combat he said "All right, it's zombie #2's turn" multiple times, and eventually we would just start applauding ("Let's have a round of applause for Zombie #2, everybody"). This was made exponentially better when we fought a pair of halfling comedians.
indiscriminate violence against quest givers in black crusade
>>47256034
Could you share the table, please?
After burning an entire town to the ground we managed to have a wimpy secretary for the former guard follow us because, you know, his town is gone.
He does all of our menial tasks, takes stock of our items, oversees a mining colony, and became court justice for a day.
All while having lost every limb.
>>47255315
Knowledge: Pastry lore
Fantasy Accountancy
"I stick my head in the water."
"Now your world is a carousel of torment and agony."
>>47257112
You get your ass back here and storytiem it when he does. With timestamped pic.
Our characters were investigating a murder. One of the players said "this was no run-of-the-mill market stabbing." My character was shocked and asked what markets were like in his character's homeland.
So then it was a joke that the markets in that part of the setting are basically The Purge, with people constantly murdering the shit out of each other.
>>47255315
The wizard being an arsonist and general pyromaniac. Property damage. The wizard finding an excuse for not being in the wrong when he was obviously in the wrong.The final boss was immune to fire, and the wizard is now literally in the hell of fire.
>>47261391
At least they know how to make ladders in my homeland.
>>47261454
Yeah, I'd kill for a good ladder. But not... y'know. Literally. Like they would where you're from.
>>47255315
>"Do I get sneak attack damage on the floor because the floor wasn't expecting it?"
One of my players during a one-shot Pathfinder session.
"Wesa be bombad liberators!"
We were playing a one-off Star Wars RPG. Our characters were supposed to be an elite group of Rebels sent to liberate a world from the Empire by destroying a cannon that was stopping our cruisers in orbit. The entire party decided to play as Gungans. The phrase now gets tossed out even if we're playing an completely different game.
>>47258040
the armenian genocide?
>>47261551
Obviously the Moon Landing.
>>47261551
Bro Team Pill isn't in the party, so I doubt it
>>47261575
explain
>>47261619
it's a long story
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-2cw2YbD1U
"X did literally nothing wrong." has been a reoccurring joke. Party will do their thing, beat a bad guy, then will make up a million reasons why he really wasn't a bad guy. Doesn't even matter if it was a legit gray area villain or someone blatantly evil, every time they did literally nothing wrong. Cracks me up.
>>47261661
thats a long fucking video anon
so he told a joke and people got mad?
>>47261738
He made a joke about something Anita Sarkeesian said (which, in context, was actually agreeing with her) but didn't actually reply to her tweet, so the only way she could have found out about it would be if somebody informed her of it, or she just routinely self-searches. Then she claimed that the tweet she had to go looking for and went out of her way to be offended by, was harassment.
>>47261804
ah
not gonna lie though fampai, i've been on such a drought that i'd fuck her or that uh that purple haired bitch
>>47255860
>A strange practice amongst once chapter of Imperial Citizens has been chanting "Daemon host" anytime their psyker risks himself
>At first this was suspected to be to heresy, but it seems, somehow, Chaos finds the idea of possessing a psyker when their friends are rooting for a chance of demonic possession to be too predictable and look for someone less suspecting
>The Inquisition still does not recommend replicating this tactic.
Mostly we get weird in game references to sex.
I think the one with the most staying power was "Pigchair."
'I roll my bluff "Durr Durr Durr, I'm a human, I control the universe!"'
during an unfortunately deadly Edge of the Empire session our Rodian bounty hunter was dead, and the twilek politico wanted to take the rodians body back to his homeworld for a proper burial, which resulted in an outburst from the human smuggler who had just paid off his obligation and owned the groups yt2400 outright.
"Do i look like dead Rodian storage to you?!?!"
now whenever anyone doesnt want to do something particularly dangerous that another party member wants too it becomes
"Do i looks like dead (insert danger seeking characters race) storage to you?!?!?!"
>>47255315
"Hadarak Fel!" is something my players occasionally declare in anger when dealing with an antagonist, and they compare all new BBEG's to him. He's the stock villain from the pre-written adventure in the Rogue Trader gamebook, and instead of treating him like the minor enemy like he was they made it their mission in life to track him across the sector and kill him.
>>47260221
>where did my lizard boyfriend go
>stupid dumb lizard scum
Has one killed the other yet?
>>47255315
Astronox: "Can't a guy cast Invisibility in peace?"
Fen: "The keel is now a rocking chair."
Fen: "Okay, so I'm a shark now."
Gustavel: (WHAT THE FUCK IS OUR RELATIONSHIP, DANE)
Astronox: Well, Dane's on top.
Dalvamin: "We're going on a little midnight stroll."
"...To the bathroom."
Fen: "She talks like a stripper with down syndrome."
Sor'mon: "How do I pleasure a woman, Camnus?"
Gustavel: "WITH JUSTICE!"
Dalvamin: "How do you have sex, Camnus? I don't know, I've never made it without biting."
Danius: "Do they speak Common in the Basin?"
Dalvamin: "Do they speak Bitch in the Dreadlands?"
Dalvamin: *drops pants* "...Ladies?"
Fen: "Your asshole looks awfully tight..."
"...I like that..."
Astronox: Follow the Astronox philosophy, build a man a fire, he'll warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Fen: *calls to Rork* "Why is there an anti-magic field in your fireplace?"
Rork: "It's not MY fireplace."
Ker'kadin: "What, you never seen six people in a fireplace before?"
Danius: "Only if they're Jewish."
Dalvamin: "I see you're holding back some pent-up rage. Try firing lightning bolts at things!"
Astronox: "When I get sad or angry, I like to set things on fire."
Astronox: "Oh wait, Camnus has to take the giant I-beam out of his ass."
Joe (Cold Fusion): "RIP Dispel Magic Guy
1300-1340
He died to make this boss fight more interesting."
Sor'mon: "This place is more fortified than Camnus's chastity belt."
Sor'mon: "Many good rogues became accoutants this way."
ANSWERS TO THE QUESTION OF: "How do I please a woman?"
Camnus: JUSTICE!
Li: PRAYER!
Astronox: SCIENCE!
Dalvamin: *lengthy and graphic description*
Danius: ...Women feel?
>>47255315
There's a city in my setting that everyone treats like a gay-town. I occasionally have NPCs reference it and always gets shits and giggles from my players.
>>47255315
Ranger has healing herbs class feature.
Fluffed as healing berries he sticks up other people's asses.
Only used while they're unconscious.
I noch two arrows, I fire the first then the second -Ranger
>>47262259
Astronox: Well if the door is blocked, I'll take the wall.
Camnus: Sor'mon is really good at provocation.
Ker'Kadin: Yeah, he's a dick.
Andrew: "What're you guys going to do?"
Li: "Locate bitches."
Andrew: "Aren't you a man of the cloth now?"
Li: *hesitates* "...Let me find out which spells require celibacy."
Mike: "What if every spell had a verbal component that was the spell name?"
Mike: *mimes walking into a room crowded full of people* "DETECT MAGIC."
Juan: "SENSE MOTIVE."
Steve: "If they wonder too hard they'll poke plotholes in our storyline.”
Chratain: "Well, now's the time so I'll ask you one more time, partner. You know how to dance?"
Li: "Let me check my skill points."
Danius: *looks to the orphanage* "Wondering if we should tell them if we're here"
Sor'mon: "Tell them what? That an ex-Peacekeeper and Danius the Mad are here? We are not exactly fit parents... Though, I do wonder what kind of children we would have."
Danius: "I wonder if they have some sort of recess Or like some time that they're all gonna be doing things outside"
Sor'mon: "... You are just going to ignore me, aren't you?"
Danius: "I'm trying to bounce some ideas off, fuck. I DO have another option in mind though..."
Sor'mon: "I told you, I don't think I am ready for another child yet."
Mike: "Is this something I should Celerity and get the fuck away from?"
Steve: "Mike, this entire campaign is something you should Celerity and get the fuck away from."
Mike: (Hotness?)
Justin: (Orc)
Galling: "You heard the half-man, let's get moving."
Gus: *The column advances up the trail, hustling
Juan: *lee is shows confusion at that stamens but moved forward
Willem: "... Is that racist?"
Lindule: "I mean, he's half human."
Salvy: "You can't just go around saying people are half human, man."
>>47255315
>someone gets a high roll, pulls off a crazy combo, whatever
>scream 4chan oneliner memes like WITNESS or INFINITE JEST
>>47255553
I see nothing wrong with smelling a weapon.
>>47261895
Kek
>>47255315
"Let's drop a Dropship on him". Never actually followed through on it, but whenever we need to kill or stop something it's one of the first options suggested.
Any time things seem at all dangerous or dire.
>"Better set yourself on fire anon."
I'd stop doing it if it stopped working but it almost always does.
I have a joke character that I introduce whenever I can. "Kenneth South" goes by Ken when he can, he's a divorced father without custody that takes various odd jobs, and gets in wacky situations.
The primary joke behind him is his son, Richard South, who Ken is very proud of and is often excited to brag about his "little dick". Various quotes such as "it's been so long since I held my little dick" and "here, let me show you my little dick". In one near death situation he cried out "noooooo! My dick!!!" before losing consciousness.
Great amirite?
>>47255553
this is great, i had an annoying player who would try to do a million things in 1 turn of combat so everyone else on their turns would make jokes like "i run around the corner and lay down then roll across the room, now i stand up throw my dagger at the wall then use it to climb up the side of the wall and then do a triple back flip off the dagger to end my turn"
the asshole had no idea how annoying he was. we played for about 4 hours a night and 3 and a half hours was him talking to the dm about meaningless trivial game mechanics he wanted to try just to save some gold here and there or get one extra damage that in the end meant nothing
My luck, or lack thereof with the dice has become a running joke.
Rolling a 1 on spells results in spraying a small, sputtering stream of cat piss from ones hands.
My first character ever was a Gnome Bard that would always try and tie others shoes together when they weren't looking. Now when players roll 1's on stealth or other movement related skills, they fall and see their shoes have been tied, with a little laugh off in the distance.
Same gnome bard would also sprinkle shit (actual in game shit, not drugs) in people's drinks at taverns. Now when anyone says "this drink tastes like shit", the bartender of wherever we are will mutter "not again".
Towards the end of one session, our DM during one campaign gave us a magical, very sought after object that he described as "the pink pole". Using it on someone would either result in traumatizing them, or they would agree with you on everything and discount everything for a certain amount of time.
The Spanish guy in our group, when things are really not going our way, says "You know what they say..." followed by a botched English expression.
"his body is mine" every time we kill someone i take their body and fuck them. im a necrophiliac necromancer
>I roll Forbidden Lore: Waxy Substances.
>Why are my fingers so long? What YEAR is it?
>Man, I love that kid. I hope he lives forever.
>>47262253
I want to knowif they've fucked.
For a short while, we had a player who always got off track and would derail entire sessions with jokes and references (our attention spans are fragile and we laugh too much) and it pissed off our DM so much that he would make the guy roll a d6 for "meme damage" every time he got us too distracted. Now when we get distracted we'll jokingly request the DM "make him roll meme damage!". Sounds cringey, but it makes us laugh and recount our stupid humour of previous years.
>>47262253
>>47262636
No and no. But blondie is going to jump old racist's son's dick at the first opportunity.
"Warforged Stealth" for every time any of us succeeds at a stealth-related roll despite having no skill in it whatsoever and being hindered in it somehow.
"I blame Alex" for whenever one of us uses an item or spell in a way that it was obviously not meant to be used, but nothing in the rules says it can't be used that way and it would logically work.
Also, orphanages and/or orphans attacking the party. It's been a recurring gag ever since that one WoD game where our group was attacked by blonde, blue-eyed children with knives in the basement of an orphanage.
>The room is nondescript
Elevator maintenance.
>>47255315
Played a meatshield who got fucked up every game, to the point where potentially life threatening critical hits were nothing out of the ordinary anymore. The dices have also not been with me on this one, I failed a lot of rolls.
"Fail to the king!"
After some time the GM explained, my char has been the descendant of a royal bloodline of a tribe in the mountains and introduced some people from that tribe who wanted to follow me, GM probably wanted to give my char something to shine with.
My followers "Hail to the king!" ingame became very fast a "Fail to the king!" by my fellow players and myself, because I still fucked up constantly.
When my followers during a big battle for the first time charged into melee they were beaten into a bloody pulp, leading to my standing up, and declaring proudly "Those are my people!"
"Wight Power"
Because fuck wights. Especially those with weird Soulblades which only work in their favour and Shields which might stunn you when they parry your attacks.
GM adjusted them afterwards.
"Bread"
Because that was the answer of one player to a riddle, which answer certainly WASN'T bread. To make matters worse, every time you gave a false answer a random magical effect manifested.
Too lazy to translate the riddle so here's the german version
Der Herr befiehlt's
Der Kutscher tut's
Einer jeder hat's
im Grabe ruht's
Answer:Vorfahren
If someone's anxious about a roll someone will usually end up saying that it'll either work or it won't so it's a 50/50 chance.
Based on a player we kicked out of the group who didn't understand probability.
"...but you sell your soul to a demon TWO times..."
>>47259504
I'm trying to undestand how building a brothel worked as a cover story and I just can't. Anon please enlighten me, please, story time
The flying skeleton that invaded Ares
Party bonding in a zero-gravity hot tub
"X explodes into gore"
A crit fail on a DEX roll results in an unwanted abortion
Ravenous Vietnamese dolphins
In nearly every game of D&D I run, the party will eventually run into a merchant named Gregor Boxes or some variant thereof. Gregor is a very polite salesman who is essentially The Container Store of the setting. His wife is Melinda Boxes, a time/space wizard. When he first introduced his wife, he said "Oh, you know, she makes the magic and I sell it. We met years ago and fell madly in love, and we've been putting things in other things ever since." I didn't think it was that funny but all the players flipped out and now every time he comes back he's got some innocently delivered one-liner about bags of holding or whatever.
I once ran a game where the party cleric (always wearing plate mail) spoke many of his in-character lines into an empty energy drink can. It started out as a joke but lit was actually pretty cool when he would deliver an impromptu inspiring speech.
>>47262532
I have a friend whose wife won't let him touch her dice because of her fear that his bad luck curse will spread to her good dice.
>>47263137
Another recurring gag I do is to introduce a new NPC every once in awhile whose name is an anagram for a real person or character that shares thematic links with the NPC. I had one game where the party had a dark-skinned book-learned sage friend named Tural Bonver (Levar Burton). Recently I added a crazy hick hunter halfling obsessed with rabbits named Ledd Femur (Elmer Fudd). I've done this several times and completely gotten away with it. The best part is when the players become convinced that a name is a reference or anagram but it's just some shit I made up.
'Baka' in Hungarian means low-ranking infantry.
Each time someone says it while I'm GMing OW instantly spawns stupid smug smirks and laughter.
rolling for agriculture. It all started when I decided during our first campaign that my mage was also a hobby gardener.
Also, being slow as fuck and playing every little detail out
>>47263239
Ah, the joys of language. That's actually pretty funny/cute.
>>47255315
One of our players, a guy who tends to play hackers in Shadowrun can't come up with one liners to save his life.
Usually he just panics and IC says something along the line of " fuck you you fucks."
So on one occasion he bursts onto the scene of a girl being attacked tried to think of something cool to say and finally told them to go fuck themselves in Spanish.
Another player said still better than Kirito and a running joke was born.
There's also no matter the setting a NPC called Fat Boy who has travelled across the world.
>Luck of the Taven
At one point, the half-orc paladin/barbarian in our group attempted to climb a rope up a sheer cliff and failed 5 times in a row, wih increasing worse rolls, while everyone else made it up on their first roll. He eventually tied the rope around his waist and was hauled up unceremoniuosly. Didn't help that he rolled poorly all session. Now anyone that has a terrible string of rolls, we say he's contracted the Luck of Taven.
>Slowpoke hat
One of our guys owns a Slowpoke hat, and if someone unintentionally discovers something that the rest of us have known about for more than 3 or so months, he has to wear it until someone else says something deserving of the hat, or the end of the session, whichever happens first.
>"Poor Aug"
Our first session of playing Savage Worlds saw us fighting a group of steampunk space pirates. The meatshield of our group tried to take on three mooks at once and died before he could land a hit. These mooks had no skill in Shoot, but every one of them managed a damaging shot, which took up Aug's three wounds. Now anytime someone (nearly) dies to a group of low-level enemies, someone has to say "Poor Aug."
>roll clearly succeeds
>we all say "just"
>Roll natural 20 to hit
>DM: you 'just' hit
>we all laugh
>>47255315
"what are you gonna do (player x)? tell the blacksmith you are an alien again?"
We had a player who played a lizardman who would peek into doors before the rest of us, because she was the tank. I had pointed out that this was probably fucking horrifying and that it was probably an urban legend now of the door lizard. Stuck.
>all sexual scenes or lewd interactions
"Anon wants to be party bard."
>All spells end with a verbal component that is a lyric to a godsmack song
>All pre- elementary school children are rogues who cant hide or move silently
>Don't mention Spongebob. We swore an oath
>>47255315
One of the players always always makes cool, dark, handsome swordsmen. You can probably imagine the rest.
>>47255785
Them who? Urchins? Guards? If urchins then why couldn't he just hire them on the spot?
>>47255693
The officer's articulation is so slurred, the actor is definitely not German.
"There is a god!" "Fuck him". Because every time anyone rolls a 20 it's immediately followed by a series of sub 5 rolls.
"I drain his mana with my hammer"
No tavern ever has any spoons left, ever.
Reams the talking book, a recurring character
"You can't talk to subhumans like that"
"he looks mighty" after we had a GM that described every enemy as mighty
"Graham master" NPC that we use to mock the GM
>>47260324
Might have to nick that...
>>47255315
>Player A has its character killed at least once a session
>Player A doesn't know simple words like "anus"
>Player A's character's interactions are limited to "Hi."
>Player A doesn't know basic rules after 4 years of playing the game
>>47264090
>No tavern ever has any spoons left, ever.
Some cruel perversion of quantum physics ensure that any fork not directly observe din the break room at my job simply blinks out of existence.
I wonder where we'll find The Place of No Knives.
Jews (I did add some Jewish characters of dubious moralityone of them is actually a Samaritan thoughbut both their villainy and their power is somewhat exaggerated in player imagination).
>>47264182
>Player A doesn't know basic rules after 4 years of playing the game
Hey, all my players are in on this joke too!
>>47255315
"Hello, I'm X!"
Specifically, one of my players always introduced himself as "Hello, I'm Mikvar", at any point when someone was talking about or addressing him, even if they already knew him.
The dwarf storing maybe-edible things in his backpack, only to remember them at some point 2 months later ingame and dig through the mold and fungus in his backpack's bottom to eat it.
The party "leader" being a filthy capitalist pig.
One player who keeps dying and re-rolling suspicious-looking people, leading to the "leader" being known in society as the guy who is friends with all those crazy murder-hobos and criminals.
>>47255315
We were doing a one-off tournament game and one of the players, who thinks he's seriously hot shit at everything he does, but has a really really predictable fighting style got absolutely fucking rolled, and then stormed out of the house screaming about one of the other players screwin' him and how he'd build something really broken.
For simplicity's sake:
>A - douchebag, always plays a guy who uses a blinding attack
>B - One of the smartest guys I know and subsequently the cause of the change between editions, between himself and his best friend. They think so much alike, it's kinda weird. Hell they built essentially the same fucking character, without talking to each other, for this game.
>B.0- see B. I'm really not kidding about them thinking the same.
>C - our group's oddball, tends to like the weird bullshit powers, mostly psionics, and has an awful taste in names.
In the first round B and B.0 fought it out, well, the one difference in their powers was that one of them had a weather manipulation power, that reduces everyone's ability to see and hit things in a several kilometer radius, and it lasts several minutes. These two slug it out for like 10 minutes, in a system where most battles tend to not go much longer than 5-6 seconds, long battles are 24 seconds, for example. Well, the match is declared a draw and before they left the guy who can make storms casts his storm spell again. Enter A and C. A blinds C, but C is using the weird powers, so he feigns being blinded, but he's a psychic, so he doesn't give a shit about his eyes anyway, so he uses his psychic powers to smash A. Meanwhile I'm chatting with the GM in another room and I walk out to A screaming his fool head off. So now 'You screwed me B' is an inside joke, reminding us how pathetic A is.
>>47255315
Obliterator tried to use an elevator. Elevator fell. The player wasn't really mad, he just constantly mentioned and joked about this incident (LIFT FELL, OBLY WAKE UP ELEVATOR, MEIN LIFT, ELEVAAAAAATOOOOOORZ)
>>47255315
A Tech-priest, a corrupted guardsman, an Inqusitorial henchman, an Astra militarum officer, and a psyker walk into a Slaaneshi elevator.
We whisper "Hail Mondoburger" to each other
>>47264560
I wanna know how this started.
> The left foot
For some reason, the left foot is by far the most common place for PCs to get hit. Has led to people considering to preemptively replacing it with bionics.
>"Where we last left our heroes..."
I insist beginning every sessions with that. When running Black Crusade it became "where we last left out heroes...villains...anti-heroes"
>"HOOLT!"
In our RT game, the RT player takes every opportunity to piss off his NPC rival, usually in some petty and dickish way, which inevitably leads to the NPC yelling his name.
> EVEN MORE HERETICAL!
In the same RT game, the RT did the standard thing of yelling "heretic!" at an NPC, and when the NPC kept talking he yelled the above and opened fire, which became a standard response to any heresy.
>>47264579
Me and my buddy watched Good burger earlier in the day. So when we started playing, we encountered a lord with name Kurt. So I leaned in to one of my friends (like uncomfortably close) and instead of saying "Hail Hydra" it was "Hail Mondoburger"
>>47255315
We call Quaddis "The Planet of Chocolate Lesbians".
http://calixipedia.wikia.com/wiki/Quaddis
>"Chainsaw Dueling" "Ah yes, the sport of kings"
>"I have one skill point in rock-paper scissors"
>>47255315
During our first campaign the resident twins played a Dwarven Barbarian and an Elven Ranger. We were new, so the Dwarf's name was the player's screenname, and the Elf was named Vaseline.
They were constantly bickering. Especially the Elf's player can be a bit of a wise-ass, and consistently provoked the Dwarf. When the Dwarf grew tired of the bickering, he would Grapple the Elf in order to shut him up.
"Grapple the Elf" quickly became the motto of the campaign.
We also had no Rogue or anything, but plenty of locked doors. So the Dwarf was regularly needed to bash them open, leading to the concept of the "Dwarven lockpick". We still say that whenever a door needs violent persuasion.
>>47255315
A goblin that we regularly run into that shouts "bring me piggy meat!" and only replies "Mmmmmm No!" when you try to talk with him. He always blocks bridges and gates.
A god called "Space Lizard" that watches the party while resting on the clouds
The dice rerolling themselves to get a 1 whenever we are in a dire situation
Lizardman ranger cross dressing as a princess called "Lady Thellus".
When failing a persuasion roll your character sneezes snot into the NPCs face thus causing them to attack.
Various scooby doo memes
>>47264789
I hope this is bait, because I don't want to believe this is real.
