>Be elf
>Adventuring with humans
>Naive young whippersnappers, but good enough folk
>They forgot to stock in healing potions before our latest adventure started
>Offer to buy everything for them
>Visit herbalist's shop
>Spend some time browsing and looking for interesting brews and lucrative bargains
>Settle on a 20 for the price of 15 healing potion package
>Hurry back to the inn where I left my party
>"Sorry I'm a bit late, but I got a really good deal on h-"
>They all died of old age
>mfw
>Walking down the street
>Human looking for some trouble walks up to me
>Tries to form an insult
>Winds up complimenting me, but the mean intention is there
>Respond to him politely and calmly
>Start a discussion about what the real source of his anger is
>He breaks down crying, and says it's because nothing is going right in his life
>Spend the next two years helping him out, teaching him, coaching him, sometimes just listening to him
>He ends up becoming a successful merchant, and marries a beautiful woman, with me as the guest of honor at their wedding
>Ten years pass, and I see his charming nine-year old son walking down the street
>Punch him in the face
>"That's for calling me 'Forest Friend'."
>>47113048
This was not funny the first time we had this kind of thread.
>>47113169
But this on the other hand is fantastic.
>>47113048
>Be elf
>Rest of the party gets mad that I'm racist towards drow
>Rest of the party don't know they lurk the woods at night looking for innocent children to kidnap and turn into slaves
>Rest of the party doesn't know they have a ritual where they drain your blood and replace it with drow blood and then you BECOME a drow
>Rest of the party doesn't know that drow are literally a corrupted twisted warps elves who are now a literal personification of perversion and suffering
>Rest of the party believes these drow "refugees" who are "fleeing from oppression" are "good people" and not an invasion force
Literally the last elf character I played 100% believed all these things despite every drow we encountered being a refugee, escaped slave, or just a straight up honest hard-working citizen of the kingdom.
Worse still, 99% certain we're going to the Underdark within the next session or two.
>>47113169
Kek
>>47113401
But hey, in the Underdark we'll atleast have the famous "have your insides turned into spiders" tuesdays! Yeeeey!
>>47113169
>>47113169
Fucking fantastic.
>>47113401
I see folks trying to play Good Drow 'Exiles' or Drow Sympathizing Elves in most settings.
Unless you've got really good reason or somethin', like as an adventurer or something, your goal when you see them is Murder.
>>47113169
>kid drops to the ground, clutching his face
>can't understand why someone would do something like that
>loses all faith in other people
>becomes sullen and miserable
>twenty years later, has no job, no friends, nothing
>spends his days just wandering the streets, looking for trouble
>sees an elf that reminds him of someone from a distant memory
>anger builds up in him, can't even think clearly because he's so consumed with rage
>searches his mind for an insult, any insult, to reflect the depths of his resentment
>Nothing comes to mind except to call them "Forest Friend."
>>47114973
>it's the same elf
>twilight theme
>fadaway
>>47113401
The Heart of Underdarkness?
>>47114973
>And so the cycle repeats, where the son follows in the footsteps of the father.
>Each punched by the same "Forest Friend"
>MFW
>>47113169
This is why I love /tg/.
>>47115131
Underrated.
>>47113169
>cycle begins again
>mfw
Just like a beautiful perennial flower.
>>47113169
>>47114973
>be elf
>live outside a peaceful human village, plying my woodcraft and talent with healing herbs to become a revered fixture in the community
>they don't realize I've been communing with their trees behind their backs
>every tree in town every possible way, the filthy things practically begging me because the humans can't understand them like I can
>humans come to me with a smile on their face to buy my herbs the very morning after I finish communing with both trees in his back yard all night long
>>47118707
>>how much wood can a woodcuck cuck if a woodcuck could cuck wood
>>47118890
>>47113048
This doesn't make any sense.
>be elf
>no, not the big, fancy, graceful elves that inspire wonder and fantasy
>one of the little ones that makes cookies
>wonder where it all went so wrong
>>47113612
Did that guy almost laugh while receiving the medal of honor because the president said he and his troopers where getting pounded?
I love my country.
>>47124923
Hey, you dumbasses had a good thing going with Santa. You just HAD to strike out on your own and now look where you are.
>>47127543
Look man I just wanted to be a dentist okay I have dreams too!
>>47113612
Why can't I stop imagining Obama as Pontius Pilate from Life of Brian
>>47113401
>Rest of the party doesn't know they have a ritual where they drain your blood and replace it with drow blood and then you BECOME a drow
Is your character like 12, or whatever the elven equivalent of 12 is, because that sounds like something a kid who had just been told a scary monster story would say.And it's great.
>anywhere I go, people ask me about herbs
>people ask me about trees
>people ask me about animals
>people ask me about magic
>I was born in a city
>I stab people for a living
It's fun to play a city Elf
>>47129461
>city Elf
wait wait wait... you be sayin'... we wuz DRUIDS an' shieeet?
>>47113048
If your that slow on haggling for a few bottles of healing potion, you have no place in human society.
I know a guy who could have gotten those potions for a gold piece along the owners clothes, store and daughter.
>Be Elf
>Live in a fortress made out of IronWood and Living Stone that I grew with myself.
>No matter what sort of enchaments I cast on the surrounding forest, no matter what sort traps I set, a human male from the nearby kingdom finds his way to my door every fifty years.
>Don't like killing Sentients, which sucks because that same human will spend the rest of his short life trying to break in if I don't let him enter.
>>47129594
>Set up a bunch of technically non-lethal traps, irritating puzzles, and roving monsters to dissuade them from exploring.
>Rarely ever works
>Even when it does I just end up sending the human back to the entrance with a teleport
>They, after having audacity to steal magical weapons I have around the Fortress, and other little trinkets, manage to make their way into my tallest tower, and won't leave until I indulge them by appearing.
>Act all excited about passing my "tests" and beg to learn from me.
>Humans are too damn cute when looking like that so I always do.
>>47113169
>>47113048
This story is pretty mediocre, but it does make me want to play an elf who is graceful and nubile and all that shit, but who has the personality of Miss Marple.
