>Be DM
>Be typical session playing dnd 5e
>PCs in local tavern
>half-deva PC is chatting up the barmaid
>not even 3 sentences in he demands she suck his dick
>Rolls for it
>nat 20
>tfw my friend made me act out sucking his dick
Why must they do this to me.
>>47103066
Because you let them. You have the right to set constraints to what they can do if there are things uncomfortable for you.
I think you just want to suck your friend's dick, OP
>>47103066
Can I get my dick sucked?
>>47103066
Your such a slut anon, holy shit.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>47103066
Suck my dick.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>47103066
Puff my pecker.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>47103066
Gargle my nuts.
>>47103066
Slut
Rolled 16 (1d20)
Deepthroat my chode
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>47103066
Slob my knob.
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>47103066
Hold my hand and whisper sweet things to me.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>47103066
Sit next to me and inch closer until we're should to shoulder.
>>47103066
>my friend made me act out sucking his dick
>made me
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>47103066
Leave now and never come back.
>>47103066
>Why must they do this to me.
Because you like it.
>dat low poster count
>>47103066
I prefer to use qualified/limited auto success/failure on a 1/20, and their degree of success still depends on what DC i think it is and their overall score: A barmaid is probably hit on often, the PC is half angel and presumably attractive, but Id still put that DC over thirty, so what I'd do is have the barmaid feel a strong "yes oh glorious one I'd love to blow you" urge, but then unless the PC made another great role, and or more sensible offer of a rendezvous in private she would refuse, albeit secretly wishing she had blown him right then and there.
>>47103066
>'natural 20 is auto-success for things other than attack rolls and saving throws' meme
You make me sad.
>>47103268
You sick bastard
Rolled 14 (1d20)
Call your friend and tell him that you liked.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
get on those knobby knees and wrap your cheeto-stained lips around my four inch cock you fat fuck
Rolled 17 (1d20)
Fucking slave, get your ass back here
>>47103268
You only rolled a 3, so you failed and OP has to suck your dick.
>>47103066
>shitty homebrew race
>shitty house rule skill crits
You alone asked for this.
>>47104713
it's more fun
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>47103066
gimme a kiss
>>47107423
[gets slapped by the barmaid and thrown out of the bar]
>>47107434
literally my first time rolling on /tg/
i want to die
>>47103066
Lesson learned: don't let Nat 20s make stupid shit happen
Stand up to players when you have to and don't be a cuck, otherwise this shit will get worse
Seriously you guys are not getting a SINGLE 20?
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>47103066
Suck my penor.
Jesus christ, you guys suck harder than OP did. Please, people, roll ONE SINGLE 20!!!
>>47107183
Pretty much this.
>>47107401
t. lolrandumb
Bestow upon me a smooch
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>47103066
Please gain some self-respect and either tell him to stop or just suck his dick in real life.
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>47107740
Suck my dick, faggot.
>>47108304
Nope, try again, sir. We only serve 20s here, you can take that limp 15 of yours somewhere else.
>>47103066
Hold my hand you slut
And today /tg/ has failed to roll a single twenty and went home with his dick unsucked by OP.
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>47108783
Oh well. Guess I'll just pack up my dice and go, then...
Oops! Dropped one. What's it say, Anon?
Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 20 (20d1)
>>47108825
What about this, eh? I braught my special lucky dice
>>47108849
>>47108825
I kek'd
Still, no fellatio was acquired.
Rolled 13 (1d20)
This never happened, leave /tg/ foreverAfter gobbling my knob
>>47109280
>this never happened
Your fear of sexual impotency is showing.
>>47108849
>>47108825
>>47108304
>>47108289
>>47107723
>>47107423
>>47106773
>>47106651
>>47106548
>>47103330
>>47103291
>>47103268
>>47103245
>>47103239
>>47103231
>>47103203
>>47103192
18ish atempts, not a single 20. You suck at dice, /tg/.
>>47103066
>>Rolls for it
>>nat 20
What DC was the roll against? What was his modifier?
If the barmaid had any fucking self esteem like you seem to lack, then even a twentyshouldn't be enough.
Or, on top of having literally no self esteem what so ever, you also DON'T KNOW THE FUCKING RULES!
>>47109864
First time in /tg/ history that the OP, in fact, is not a fag.
>>47108849
You get 20 hungry looks aimed at your penis and no succ, try again
Rolled 8, 5 + 8 = 21 (2d20 + 8)
Mod of 5 with +3 proficiency
finger my asshole
You can't crit a skill chick or saving throw
Rolled 4 (1d20)
You faggots are terrible at dice.
Rolled 2 (1d20)
You're all a bunch of idiots. Stand back.
Rolled 12 (1d20)
I want to fail too!
This is a black day for /tg/ ladies and gents. Not only are we not getting our knobs slobbed, the dice have turned against us as well.
Rolled 18 (1d20)
Hold me tight, OP.
Rolled 16 (1d20)
Show me some love
>>47112855
At least I got dubs.
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>47103066
Fuck you
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>47103066
kindly rub my schlong, cucboi
Rolled 18 (1d20)
Get on your knees.
Rolled 15 (1d20)
Kneel before Zod!
Rolled 2 (1d20)
Suck my pepe
Rolled 10, 13, 3, 16, 9, 13, 1, 17, 1, 11, 16, 12, 2, 1, 9, 3, 9, 3, 5, 8 = 162 (20d20)
>>47103066
I'M GIVING EVERYTHING I'VE GOT AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA GIVE ME THE ORGIASTIC SUCC I DESERVE IN RETURN
Rolled 11 (1d20)
Consume a chode.
>>47113152
>>47113152
And not a single 20 was rolled that day.
>>47113152
>three 1's
>nothing above 16
Jesus christ, /tg/, step it up.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
Please let me suck your dick
ITT: Not OP's players.
Rolled 5, 19, 2, 20, 6, 13, 13, 16, 15, 15, 1, 13, 2, 11, 4, 14, 20, 20, 12, 2, 14, 8, 16, 2, 17 = 280 (25d20)
FOR COUNTRY
FOR BOARD
FOR SUCC
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>47103066
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET JUST ONE FUCKING BLOWJOB
>>47113230
I AM HROTHGAR THRICE-SUCC'DThat was supposed to be 200d20.
Rolled 2, 20, 11, 3, 20, 11, 4, 13, 11, 15, 14, 15, 19, 7, 6, 19, 11, 7, 18, 3, 3, 17, 10, 18, 4 = 281 (25d20)
>>47113230
MEDIOCRE
Rolled 5 (1d20)
Please, PLEASE let me suck your dick
>>47103066
I use my cyclops helm to get a 20.
On your knees wench.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>47103066
>OP posts about having to uncomfortably describe a blowjob
>entire thread devolves to people trying to roll a nat 20 for him to do it to them
Never change, /tg/
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>47103066
More dicks join the fray. OP, you have to service them all.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
Worship the wiener, OP.
>>47114367
>only two of them actually succeed, and only by rolling 25 at once
It's like throwing a bucket full of hot dogs at someone's face: One of them has to end up in their mouth.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
I'll just keep rolling.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>47114511
Roll again.
>>47103066
dice+1d20
Suck my lizard phallus.
this thread...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz3wusPWJdI
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>47114592
Wew.
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>47103066
>be DM
>ERP sucking friend's dick instead of deciding that the barmaid was a level 20 paladin who made a purity vow, character's dick was crushed by falling rocks and highly improbable magic field fluctuations turned him into an asian grandma with tiny feet
You just like to choke on cocks, OP.
