So we had an Infernal Tiefling Ranger who just had a blood lust for killing orphans after witnessing my retarded half orc kill an urchin child. I tried to give an urchin child a coin but our DM asked for a strength check, I rolled a 21. The coin was embedded in the kids skull.
Later on we entered a town and kinda started a massive brawl, so he went to find the closest orphan and just destroyed him. Our ranger later died in that town so we decided to open an orphanage as a front for other deeds and were naming it after him.
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jesus christ, whats next, burning down the town?
>>47070237
Thats what the dragons for
That was actually coming next, a dragon was coming to burn it down.
Tonight on "things that never happened"
>>47070259
>>47070265
what the fuck did you guys do?
>>47070284
Made a deal with a dragon
>>47070284
We fucked up
>>47070267
OP here, ik it sounds batshit but this is one of the more tame things weve done. we had a jewish dwarf that wanted to make a weapons buisness. our plans are so fucked up or DM had to throw our 6-7 sessions worth of his plans.
>>47070284
We also killed probably around 30 members of the town guard, of which about a dozen were my short angry elf monk's, and it all started off with a botched attempt to kidnap a dark elf for information after I snapped the elf's leg like a Slim Jim
>>47070375
It doesn't sound "batshit" it sounds fucking stupid. Either you made this story up or your DM is a stupid asshole.
It also doesn't help that we could never take anything seriously, stuff either ended it absolute murder and bloodshed, or something was getting fucked by someone. Didn't matter if they should fuck it or not. Also I was the tiefling ranger who was also am epileptic who would randomly appear from innawoods and fuck shit up before going back into violent spasms because I couldn't stay for entire sessions.
>>47070444
lemme guess, youre the kinda DnD player that playes lawful good and follows the DMs story to the letter with no sense of imagination or knows how to have fun.
>>47070551
We had one of those guys, and we tried our hardest to kill him, but our DM wouldnt let us attack him
>>47070551
Projecting much? I'm just saying your DM is shit if he has you do a strength roll for tossing a god damned coin
>>47070551
And if you want to read up on our shitfest go here
leetlmn(DOT)wix(DOT)c0m(SLASH)mumble
>>47070662
He had him roll a strength check because it was his idea to bury the coin in the kids skull if it was a high strength check, the orc wss retardedly strong. And fuck you our DM is a great guy who only had a slight drinking problem after DMing for us
>>47070096
>I tried to give an urchin child a coin
>DM asked for a strength check
What the actual fuck
>>47070758
a good DM giveth and good DM taketh away
>>47070444
>>47070096
>I tried to give an urchin child a coin
>but our DM asked for a strength check
Does your DM also drool a lot and / or require assistance getting dressed?
>>47071066
What's your fucking problem dude?
>This thread
>>47071298
...Are you actually the DM in this situation? Why are you defending this sort of thing? It's exactly the kind of thing Dungeon Masters' Guides and Ruleboks advise against.
A "strength check"is for feats of strength a person could realistically fail or succeed at. It is not meant to see whether you use radically more strength than is needed in a simple situation. That makes no sense.
>>47070733
I don't care how strong he was, a light underhand toss to give the kid a coin would have either A) just gone like normal because people can control their strength pretty well or B) sailed completely over the kid's head because throwing it with full retard strength would have sent it flying really far away.
Unless you were specifically trying to pelt it at him there's no feasible way that should have happened, even if your arm is inexplicably a catapult.
No I was the tiefling, this strength check wss literary based off of our parties sense of humor because the child was running away after bumping into the orcs hanging nut sack. You're acting like the game can't change based upon the group's previous actions
>>47071547
Okay, now I'm sure this is made up. Nobody could actually be this retarded right?
>>47071564
or you know, we dont give a fuck so were going balls to the walls. sometimes literally
>>47071564
Literally what our sessions were like, was actually pretty tame for what happened normally
lolrandom xDxXXxDdx
How's high school treating you?
What the fuck is this humor
It's not funny, it's not magical realm (I hope), it's not even weird, it's just.....disappointing.
>>47070096
>strength check
>for giving a child a coin
What the fucking hell.
>>47071547
>after bumping into the orc's hanging nut sack
Uhm?
>>47070096
This is the worst attempt to pretend to know what pen and paper games are. Someone burn down this thread before it spreads.
>>47070096
>I tried to give an urchin child a coin but our DM asked for a strength check, I rolled a 21.
Shit that never happened and if it did Jesus holy fuck please kill your DM then yourself suicide pact its for the good of humanity cmon
Typically I would say let each group play the game how they want. No one is playing it wrong as each group is different. I was wrong this group is playing wrong and should be castrated so they are unable to contribute to the gene pool
>>47075453
The worst thing is that retards like that are a real. THEY'RE REAAAAAAL
>>47070096
>I tried to give an urchin child a coin but our DM asked for a strength check
XD
Kill your DM and then yourself. On second thought, why don't you just fuckinghave fun. I don't care.
>this is how 3.pathfinder players run games
>>47075669
Hey I actually like pathfinder. Don't group me in with these assholes. Only a fool deals absolutes.
>>47075800
Look dude, downgrading from coprophilia to golden shower is not getting you very far.
I bet you all just sit there with smug faces on and appreciate your "grown up", "mature" and "realistic" setting each time some orphan runs into ork's nutsack.
>>47075859
If it makes you feel better I like Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay much more. But if I had to choose D&D I'd probably choose Pathfinder.
>>47075923
>If it makes you feel better I like Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay much more.
That is fine.
>>47070096
>>47070265
>>47070375
>>47070465
>>47070733
This is possibly the saddest thing I've seen on /tg/ before, and I've been here a long time.
>>47075890
I.. I'm not entirely sure what you're saying? Do you think that running into a nutsack, never mind the species, is something that happens? Ever? Besides in the shit filled, crumbling, diseased, horrid imagination of yours?
Who in their right mind would are name an orphanage after a murderous idiot
>>47071398
>It is not meant to see whether you use radically more strength than is needed in a simple situation.
Wait... This is exactly the mechanic my "Life in an Infomercial" RPG needs! Inane tasks. Target numbers. Too far below and you can't manage a task. Too far above and you bungle it in hilarious fashion.
>>47078078
d6 roll
>3&4: goes ok
>2&5: accomplished with minor fail sideffects
>1: utter fumble
>6: insane overkill
Something like that?
>>47078506
orrr
1: critical fail
2: regular fail
3: done fine with minor fail sideffect
4: accomplished fine
5: accomplished with minor overkill
6: overkill fail
