What things might you find in a senile old wizard's tower?
>>47058529
Socks
>>47058529
That one Chimera he created back in his youth when he decided to indulge his monstergirl fetish but couldn't decide which one he wanted to fuck so he decided to fuck all of them.
Notebook of replaced traps
>>47058529
Anti senility girdle.
10 tubes of passed expiry 2/3rds finished newt eyes.
>>47058529
Another wizard's tower he forgot he made.
>>47058529
Carrier bags full of magically charged highly dangerous human poop under the bed.
Ghosts of dead relatives bound to portraits stuffed into the backs of armoires or covered over with tarps; all they do now is scream.
A pull-cord in the every room that summons the home care golem.
The orb of confusion
>>47058529
alot of prunes
i mean, ALOT!
>>47058529
a senile old wizard
>>47058529
Penguinboots
A Gelatinous cube/rust-monster hybrid.
>>47058529
WMD's.
>>47058529
A young wizard trying to figure out how to reverse the aging on his tower.
A mirror which keeps constant watch over his grandchildren and a construct with the bound spirit of the bet chef cook the realm has ever known for when his grand children come visit him.
>>47058529
An enchanted, gold-plated anal dilator
>>47061003
Kek'd
Magic viagra.
>>47058529
Bags of Poop Holding in a pile, along wiht his bag of diamond holding.
His Library filled with nothing but Books of Explosive Runes.
Secret access to the loft, where he keeps his old Wizard Mask and a small colony of dogheaded kobolds whose society is ordered around the playing of card games and smoking of cigars.
An access way to several, increasingly smaller, other wizard towers he made over the years.
The pit arena filled with the corpses of 100 duck sized horses and one horse sized duck.
Thailand's redlight disctrict.
a room filled with water except for a small pool shaped area filled with air.
HAT ROOM *FEAR SORTING IF YE ENTER*
An elaborately locked door marked "do not open" and if you open it it reveals a brickwall with "all your wives are dead, steve, you just don't remember" spray painted on it"
A set of Children's Shoes, never used.
>>47062401
I think those are called "immovable rods"
>>47062582
>a small colony of dogheaded kobolds whose society is ordered around the playing of card games and smoking of cigars.
I like it.
an old senile wizard
A phantasmal sex-doll
>>47063160
>an old senile wizard
...right next to the
>senile old wizard
mentioned in >>47059202, because the wizard experimented with a Mirror of Opposition and now neither remembers which one is the original.
>>47058627
>>47062582
I'm stealing those. So fucking much.
>>47063200
But a wizard has no sense of right or wrong and is therefore neutrally aligned!
Faerie rape victims
Mystical implements for sexual activity
Illusion spell times focusing on mystical dominance, sexual pleasure, and the strange arcane
>>47058529
Animated portable holes that anxiously follow people around waiting for poop to drop.
A dusty viewing mirror set to a very brown looking dimension with a few angry demonic entities with shovels inside.
A wooden stairlift powered by two overworked imps.
Signs everywhere with such helpful directions as:
-The cheese is this way!
-Don't forget to water the Aboleth.
-Fire is hot, except on tuesdays.
-The poopholes are your friends.
-A wizard hat is not a kettle warmer.
-Living room this way.
-"Living Room" that way.
Multiple, unfinished copies of a magical sword commissioned by a hero who died 30 years ago
>>47058529
5000 shotguns, so he doesn't have to remember where he left it.
>>47058800
>Orb of confusion
>is a tit
well played, wizards.
>>47058529
Bottled Red Dragon, seasoned to mindless rage
>>47073700
Oh, yes. Very much things like this. Imprisoned extraordinary and extraplanar entities that have just been forgotten.
>>47058529
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_ogKTnp49LkbF8zZ1ZZcnE4UFU/view?pref=2&pli=1
A bowl of Lemon Drops
>>47071407
>What is Spongebob
>>47058529
Netflix DVD HQ.
Armor stand with a suit of ruined Plate on it, deep gashes from a dragons claws have ruined the armor forever. A shattered sword and mangled shield attached to it.
Burned set of leather armor with a charred bow.
A grisly looking greataxe festooned with barbarian fetishes and tokens.
A elfin woman dressed in the trappings of a Bard, made entirely of crystal, looks like she was trying to shield herself from something.
Piles of books on Necromancy, Temporal Magics, Other Planes that may be like ours but with only minor differences.
And an old senile man at a desk, talking to a painting on the wall of Five young adventurers that this time...this time he'll get it right and everything will be better.
>>47058529
Wands of Wonder, but labeled as "Fireball", Lightning", "Magic Missile" "Healing", et cetera...
>>47074786
...geez, anon.
>>47074826
Sorry i misread the threat title. Thought it said "Things might find in your senile wizards tower" my mistake.
A lich that thinks the universe is a construct of his mind meant to keep him sane.
A well-dressed bear that addresses the party in perfect, upper class english/common and offers to show them around.
The kidnapped princess of the dragons.
A tiny model of the selfsame tower, with a tiny wizard living in it.
A fireball (as the spell) with permanence on it. So it's flying through the air in one spot forever.
A number of rooms that are completely identical. Wear, furniture, knickknacks, stains, the whole shebang. The players can investigate to find out that it is not the same exact room (move something, go back to the one they passed earlier and it's not moved).
A cure for sanity.
Meta jokes.
>a manuscript for a story about the players
>an experimental design for a scrying mirror that responds to touch
>several fruits that act like walkie-talkies, including bananas and an apple with a bite out of it
A shelf or display cabinet of several random weird items that you know your players own IRL and will know that they own IRL given a description.
The wizard's magnum opus: several leather-bound volumes detailing the exact mechanics of magic in the setting. The party opens the books to see that everything is written in ink on some kind of cheese.
A pantry of various and sundry rare delicacies -unopened, or otherwise preserved- along with much more common and perhaps local ingredients and foodstuffs, opened and well-used.
>>47074786
Who hurt you, anon
>>47075542
A monster of a GM who forced our party to suffer consequences for our mistakes and failures. And seriously that's a tame thing I came up with on the fly. And shit what he did to us DnD IS NOTHING compared to the emotional trauma we get in our Supehero Game with him...the horrors i've seen.
His escaped memories.
>>47075597
A different wizard's escaped memories.
>>47061991
Is that a uterus?
>>47067733
Wizards don't rape fairies, they just keep them in bottles, collecting an ever larger and larger collection of them until there are only 4 glass bottles left in the nearby kingdom that are not owned by the wizard and full of fairies.
>>47074615
underrated post
>>47076217
It's sad when an Alot outlives its owner.
If the mage is female - gentle tentacles. Mild magical realm, may join the party and quintiple-wield falcions, for example.
>>47076701
>Wizards
>Female
Where do they keep the beard?
>>47062582
>His Library filled with nothing but Books of Explosive Runes
>>47076731
It's DWARF WIZARD
>>47076701
Or she just keeps on baking gingerbread and muffins and cakes for her grandchildren who are coming to visit her, but has forgotten the exact date when and just keeps on baking daily so there will be fresh confections when they arrive.
A gate to hell with various That Guys in place of demons. And That GMs as demon officers.
These two still staring each other down.
A perfectly balanced edition of 40k / DnD / Warmahordes / MTG / any other game, really
>>47076833
Obviously this wizard lives away from the sea.
>>47076851
(yes, it's a meme reaction image, don't bully plz)
A book that completely and fully explains aligments. But no one read it.
>>47076731
Downstairs.
>>47076851
Walls with living paintings on them
Rooms full of strange and volatile magical garbage, like flouting clouds of barely visible razor filaments that burst into flames when moistened, unconstrained spacial anomalies, half finished magical experiments, abandoned midway through, and monsters that have made themselves at home in the disused wings of the building.
Opened bottles of various magical potions. Some of them are half empty, others half full.
Third tome of "Dead souls" (russkaya joke)
>>47077419
xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa
>>47077566
Гы.
>>47076969
A cupboard full of coasters, all unused and yet to be taken out of their packaging.
>>47077575
Zdrasde.
>>47058529
A computer with a browser open to this page.
Shotguns.
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer
take one down and pass it around, 100 bottles of beer on the wall
>>47074786
I didn't need to feel these feels
>>47077667
How many?
>>47078179
choo choo
>>47067578
>Alignment pH 7
Maybe that's why they don't know!
>>47075711
Looks like Deadpool combined with one of the WoW warlock summons
>What things might you find in a senile old wizard's tower?
A senile old wizard. DUH. IDIOT.
>>47076851
Clever
>>47074786
Stealing this. Seriously.
>DMing LL for a group who's never played D&D before
>they fight their way through the wizard's lair
>walk down a hallway with these things
>open the door to the library
>he's in there frantically scrawling in books with his old arthritic hands
>squints as he sees the party and for an instant, thinks he sees his old friends again
>adventure (hopefully) ends with them spending time with, playing music for, and posing for magic-painting-box pictures to make an old man smile
>>47078438
>edgy rogue stabs wizard
*unsheathes behind you*
*teleports katana*
Nothin' personnel kid
>>47078586
Unlikely, given the people I'll be playing with.
>>47078438
Holy shit man please do this, I need to know how it ends. When it's done for the love of god post the tale.
>>47078604I wish my group wouldn't murderhobo. your group sounds nice
>>47078626
If they do show the old man kindness, I'm going to use it as a hook for another, much longer and more arduous adventure where they can get a wish, which they'll have to decide whether to use or to bring it back to him. If they bring it back to him, basically true good end with him resurrecting all his friends, de-aging himself, and the group of them going off on their own grand adventures, possibly to bump into the party again at some point in the future.
Basically, I want to show them early on in their D&D career that being good rather than murderhobo-y can really pay off.
Thoughts?
>>47076816
Can I get the first picture in that screen cap? Does anyone have it?
>>47078770
If it ends with them trying to "fix" the Wizard (not like that you perverts) I'll be happy.
>>47074662
>Expecting anyone over 18 to have watched Spongebob.
What color is the bong on your coffee table?
Some stuff I've been working on for a necromancer.
Windchimes made of bone that never make a sound from the wind. Some clatter when a living creature is within 60ft, others only move of their own when a living creature is close enough for them to strike.
A fish tank with the skeletal inhabitants still swimming around. May or may not have water in it. If it doesn't have water removing the lid may release the fish, and they will attempt to bite intruders. It does no real damage unless the tank was big enough to hold massive school, but spreads disease.
Rugs made of the hair of humans, elves, and dwarfs. With the proper command they will drag themselves to another part of the toward, taking anyone or anything on top of them.
Bottles with tiny skeletons in them. Most dance, many others come in pairs and fight each other (usually fencing), and some are constantly assembling and disassembling tiny ships.
A room full of dead trees and various clothes. The trees try to put the clothes on anyone in the room.
A mirror. The reflection of any undead seen in the mirror is of its skeleton, regardless of the flesh still on it.
Potions that give an insatiable craving for rotting flesh. Effect lasts several hours.
Potions that coat the drinker's bones in steel. Lasts between 24 and 48 hours, remains permanently if they die while it's active. Overuse has often lethal results
Leather armor that polishes itself when unattended. Polishes other things if it gets bored.
A jar of animated fingernails.
Buckets full of ash.
>>47079270
I'm 27 and I watched sponge Bob as a kid. Shit the episode it was first in was shipped in June 2000. (Season 2 episode 31, Mermaid Man and barnacle-boy III)
>>47079270
Seriously? Spongebob is 17 years old now.
Do you yell at kids to get off your lawn too?
>>47058529
A senile old wizard.
>>47059202
>>47063160
>>47063200
>>47078363
>>47074786
>>47080744
What is that, six?
SIX senile old wizards, NONE of which live there.
They all wandered in and thought it was their house.
They don't mind the company, but they also might think that some of the other ones are constructs or illusions or some such.
>>47075102
"Did you go in the Fire Room? No one's allowed in there, not even me. Did you at least say hello? No? Well the fire's going to be terribly upset. I'll talk with him later."
>>47078770
I can dig it. Always good to reinforce the non murderhobo options.
>>47080956
There's always at least 8 wizards in any given wizard tower, via magical manipulation of fortune, chance and there always being at least 2 toilets per floor do they ensure that no two of them ever set eyes upon another.
>>47075592
Story time?
>>47058529
Diapers
>>47084851
Awakened Diapers.
Sacks full of used ones, that moan and whinge and yearn for freedom and cleaning.
>>47058618
>>47058553
>>47058537
Best answer
>>47084545
Give me a short bit and I shall regale with the terrors of hsi Superhero Game and maybe the DnD ones as well.
>>47058529
Depens
A Belt of Gender Swap disguised as a Belt of Frost Giant Strength.
>>47084545
As requested.
So my GM is one of those GMs that loves to weave long tales (Current Campaign is entering year 14 of play) with the same characters. Over the years many have come and gone, we shall begin our Tale on Year 2. Our GM had finally had enough time to test our responses as players and people to certain types of storyliens and seeing exactly how far he could push us emotionally. Now for reference at this point we were playing as young teenage heroes, 14-17. Our fearless team leader decided he wanted for us to be an elite crack commando squad who also had superpowers, think Team 7 out of Wildstorm. So he persuaded the Head of our Organization to send us off for such training.
Turns out there was a somewhat off the books Military operation designed to train up shock troops for anti superhuman measures.They also had a "Cadet" program for Juvenile criminals to get out of Juvie early. Which is what we were enrolled through secretly. Through some tech our powers were supressed and we began training. Training that damn near killed us all quite often. Was great roleplay though. Then towards the end of our training we had managed to win a weekend liberty by beating the unholy shit out of the other cadet teams in a series of events and literally beating the hell out of them. However our leave was disrupted by a metahuman terrorist attack on the Brooklyn Bridge The higher ups decided that they should field test their Cadets in a live fire, real life scenario. So our team, plus 2 others, for a total of 48 slightly jumpy teenagers kitted out like Force Recon were dropped on the bridge. 400 civilians, 60 baddies. Initially things were going well, had a bunch of us laying down cover fire, the rest were getting the civs the hell out of there. Then shit got bad. Turns out the Spanish Prime Minister's daughter was in one of the cars that had been wrecked. Now. Now we had a rescue mission on our hands and the terrorists had intercepted our communications. cont.
>>47086937
>I thought it was the other way around and actually laughed.
>>47058529
TONS AND TONS of fucking porn. Most likely really sick shit too.
-A mostly dead old wizard
-Bunch of old senile wizards arguing with themselves about which one is the original and which are simulacrums.
-A rather bored succubus the wizard summoned but forgot what he was supposed to do with it. The wizard keeps calling her "Maevis"
-A rather furious succubus in a sealed room the wizard started summoning decades ago but forgot all about.
-An aspirant, now already rather old apprentice who now treats the tower as his own and tries to keep his senile master out of his way by keeping him occupied with trivial matters.
-Countless of tiny glass birds and herds of half-feral descendants of his cat familiar.
-A senile old wizard who seems to think that you are his master and he is still an apprentice.
-A grumpy dwarf in the basement. Doesn't really like talking about what he is doing there.
>>47087263
We should've known something was up when was making a lot of rolls from behind the screen and scribbling down notes. As we began our battle up the bridge to save the young maiden (who was described as a young Penelope Cruz, so yeah every dude wanted to pull off the Bodyguard scene). But then we all began to notice the occasional familiar face among the civvies we failed to save. Someones dad, another's grandparents, my sister. And we were filled an overwhelming sense of rage and hate. And so we did what any pissed off, heavily armed idiots would do. We started shooting every last terrorist we could lay eyes on. 10,20,30,40,50,60,70...80...90 terrorists Out of the original 60. We had been caught up in the descriptions and the music in the background he was playing. We even missed that he stopped describing people as the baddies and started referring to them as normal civillians. Until we started hearing the radio again wondering what the hell we were doing shooting civillian targets. Turns out they had a Telepath who decided to screw with our heads.
We got to sit through several funerals and a massive asschewing. Our GM actual wrote up a few funeral speeches and such for us, had grieving family demanding ot know why we screwed up, why weren't able to save Little Timmy and Susie. And then we got put through worse.
>>47071337
I actually used to do this with pens. Whenever I bought a new pack, I would just stand in the living room and open the pack and just fling them in every direction. It actually worked pretty well and I could always find a pen when I needed on instead of looking for one and not being able to find one.
>>47079421
I'm a big fan of the skelefish and the tree butlers. The latter make me think of the trees in Homer's vision from the Simpsons movie.
Some ideas I had:
A moldy old string quartet of skeletized musicians, nodding over their instruments. Cobwebs cover everything. When not in the room with them, ghostly music seems to follow players around from room to room.
Gravebone dice: once a day, they can be rolled, and a number of skeletal servants equal to the number showed are summoned and will serve the summoner until their task is completed or they are destroyed. Kind of like a Mr. Meeseeks box.
Choking gauntlets: give +2 on grapple and autodeal 1d6+1 damage plus strength every turn when pinned. Have to make a DC 5 will save every turn to avoid strangling the nearest person.
>>47087830
>>47080956
No, anon. It's the same wizard, there's only one wizard here. You just... You've just been having problems with your memory lately. Now come away from the mirror. Would you like some soup? Or maybe have me take you on a walk through the courtyard?
>>47074786
>I tried, my friends, I tried. Day after day, tome after tome, spell after spell. And one day I saw that my hands had grown withered, my hair white, my skin wrinkled and thin. I can hardly keep track of the months, now.
>But clear as the stars I can recall your faces. How Antione used to sing and play her harp while Gortuk tapped out a beat on his war drums. How Lisa and Mardov would drift closer as the night grew long, and how we would pretend not to notice.
>And I remember how it came apart. The dragon went through Mardov's shield and armor like they were paper, his sword shattered against its hide. How Lisa tried to draw it away with arrows, not believing he was gone, and how it burned her to ash while Mardov bled and bled. How Gortuk was swept from the cliffside, leaving his axe buried in the rocks. How my own failed spell of warding turned Antione into lifeless crystal.
>And how I ran. My friends, I am so sorry. I mumbled out the words and found myself far away.
>Year after year, spell after spell I've tried. I feel myself weakening almost by the hour, now. I can hardly summon the strength to go on, to try again. But this time it will work. This time I'll get it right. This time everything will be better.
>>47090500
Fuck. Yeah.
>>47090500
>>47074786
>>47090500
>>47090768
>"Ma, why is Grandad talking to the picture again?"
>"Well, little one, long ago he was an adventurer-"
>"Like Da?"
>The mother touches the locket her husband left her. She hasn't had the heart to tell her daughter yet...
>"Yes, dear, like your father. That picture is of his friends. When I was a child, no older than you, he'd tell me about them. How they cleared the spiders and goblins out of the Deeps. Stories about quick smiles and swordplay and songs lasting into the night."
>"Where are they now? Why doesn't he talk to them and not the picture?"
>"They're gone, child. Long ago. Before I was born. He spent years of his life trying to bring them back before he finally moved on."
>The woman moves to gently touch her father's shoulder. He starts and glances at her with no recognition on his face before turning back to the painting on the wall. Her grip tightens a fraction on the steaming tray that she holds, and she forces a smile onto her face.
>"Father, it's time for your supper."
>Seeming not to hear her, the old man mutters "I'll make it right. This time I'll make it right." His fingers twitch in the memory of an arcane gesture. A single spark falls from his fingers to the table. His daughter places the tray gently on the table, and cups his hand in hers, closing it around the spoon. He starts to eat, droplets of soup shaking from the spoon into his beard.
>"Grandad?"
>The child is impatient. She tugs on his robe. He looks down at her, and a smile crosses his face.
>"Lisa! Little Lisa! Where have you been?"
>>47091103
>"Grandad, that's not my name. That's Ma's name!" She giggles.
>Confusion steals across the old man's features.
>"That can't be right. My little Lisa is only five... no, seven years old." He starts to cough, then turns back to the painting on the wall.
>"Oh, my friends, one day you will meet my little girl. She makes my heart proud..."
>Lisa leads her daughter from the room, past the familiar books and relics. Her heart aches, but she knows it's kindest now to leave her father to his memories.
>>47091103
>>47091116
You beautiful monster you.
>>47091116
I can't leave it on that note, even if nobody is reading.
>After the war, and the plague, and the fires they had all moved away. Anne's grandfather hadn't survived the journey - his bones rested in a grave far away. She'd always thought it a sad end for a man who had tasted the powers of the cosmos. But coin would not stretch for a proper tomb.
>The tower has crumbled over the years. Home now to birds, the waning wards of protection keeep out larger predators. Animal or otherwise. Anne still scouts around the base with her bow in hand, leaving Drem to guard the horses. When she returns to the front he's leaning against the old gate, sharpening a dagger.
>"Clear."
>He rolls his eyes, slips the weapon back into its hidden sheath, and follows her through the gate and the gaping front door at a saunter.
>The bottom floor is how she remembers it, albeit with cobwebs than her mother would ever have allowed. The hook where her father used to hang his long cloak is rusted, the kitchen dark and cold.
>"A little respect, please." She slaps Drem's wandering hand away from the cranny where valuables once sat. "We took it all with us anyways".
>"So, we're here why?" Drem didn't appreciate being dragged a couple dozen miles out into the countryside on a lark. Anne had insisted. She usually got her way.
>"I never really got to say goodbye. And if you're so concerned with a big score, maybe some of my Grandad's books are worth a gold piece."
>She leads the way upstairs.
One more.
>>47091534
>Daylight streams through the odd crack in the wall. The floor of bedrooms is now mostly collapsed into the pantry. Drem nearly slips on on a mold-covered stair. Anne catches him by the arm, bowstring-callused fingers leaving a bruise. He says nothing - she understands. Getting thanks from him is as easy as getting blood from a stone golem.
>The old wizard's workshop is still intact.
>"Was it the wards, you think? Or just construction?"
>Drem rolls his eyes. Anne always has questions. His breath catches for a moment when he spots the crystal statue. He fingers the deep gouges in the plate armor.
>"No shit. You weren't just telling tall tales." He makes sure to keep his voice low so that she won't hear, but Anne is already in the next room.
>The books are moldy, the covers crumbling. She blows dust off of one stack and sneezes.
>The Nine-and-Thirty Rites of Visog the Grim: A Compendium of Spells to Raise the Dead
>She shudders. After last month, Anne's had enough of necromancy to last a lifetime. Perhaps it's better if Drem leaves the books be. After a half dozen small spiders scatter out of another stack across his hands, he agrees.
>The last door opens easily enough. Her memory supplies the scent of cooling soup masking the sour smell of an old man. The desk and chair seem so small, now that she's taller than they and not the other way around.
>"Help me with this."
>Drem give her a hand, and together they pull down the sheet covering the painting.
Okay, I lied, one more now.
>>47091534
Continue anon. You're giving me juicy ideas and the writing is wonderful.
>>47091706
>There they sit, five friends around a campfire. Smiles on painted faces. An elf with a harp. A huge half-orc, drums on his lap. A human and a half-elf, hand not quite touching. And a man in a robe, book on his lap. Anne reaches to touch the canvas, abandoning her usual care. And draws her hand back.
>"Did it bite you or something?"
>"Hush. It's warm. Feel?"
>Drem reaches towards it. The painting is oddly warm, given the temperature in the rest of the room. And he can almost smell the campfire...
>He pulls his hand back and shakes his head.
>Anne's gaze drops to the table. There's a book on it, open to a page with a complex series of diagrams. She closes it carefully.
>Across the Multiverse: Visions of Other Worlds
>"You about done?" Drem is halfway out the door by now.
>"Just a minute."
>He sighs, torn between discomfort and pride. Pride wins. He leans against the wall just a touch too casually.
>Anne drops her voice to a whisper. "If you can hear me, Grandad, this is goodbye. Wherever you are now, I hope your friends are with you." She knows that Drem will pretend not to have heard, despite his excellent ears.
>The door creaks closed as they leave. Perhaps the tower has a goodbye to say, as well. And until their graves, they'll both remember the faint sound of a harp, of drums, of laughter and a fire's crackle borne on the stale air of a tower long forgotten.
>>47091823
Thanks, anon. And thanks to anyone that read along!
>>47091905
Thank you, that was great
>>47090500
>>47091103
>>47091116
>>47091534
>>47091706
>>47091905
Fucking beautiful man. I am seriously touched it inspired this. I am stealing your improvement. Also it's a terrible day for rain.
>>47092216
Seconded.
>>47078586
You forgot the 'psh!'
There's supposed to be an edge-sharpening 'psh!'
>>47092302
Does he wear a hat, papa anon? a big fedora hat?
Oh! and papa anon, does he wear the long coat too?
>>47092302
>>47078958
Probably too late to help, but here you go.
>>47091905
Someone screen cap this shit. PLEASE
sex faeries.
>>47093372
Heh, I remember when I made a fapfic based on that pic for the smut thread.
>>47094263
Seconded
>>47087812
BRAVO
>>47094423
In our defense were all about 17-19 for the player base.
>>47058529
Regular spells whose descriptions are so long they require three pages to transcribe and take a minute to cast.
They still work fine, oddly.
A self stirring pot, filled with something that is very obviously not been soup for a long time.
A list of chores to do on every door, to help him remember. One of them just has his safe combination written on it. Senile, remember.
>>47072125
Some of that stuff is fairly useful.
>>47094263
>>47094348
My first time screencapping, is that good enough?
>>47095058
Beautiful Anon.
>>47095058
Now when I look at it, I think I should redo it, because it implies namefag wrote the whole thing.
What do you think?
>>47095205
You could if you want. If you do recap, you mind doing it on the Tomorrow setting?
Bright green on light blue is eyecancer.
>>47095216
Well, I could, okay.
>>47095205
I am willing to make a statement that I, Namefag did not contribute anything further than the initial seed. Twas the unnamed Anon who tended the field and raised the magnificent prose.
![Senile wizard [Tomorrow].png](https://i.imgur.com/ZpSKgP1.png "Senile wizard [Tomorrow].png")
>>47095230
I know, but my first screencap was showing your name and not anon's, so it looks like you wrote it.
Btw, done,
>>47095301
Freaking amazing man.
>>47095301
Lookin' sharp, Anon. Thanks for the cap.
>>47062649
if the wizard was in riptide project
>>47080956
It's an old wizard's retirement home, after all.
Books
Warhammer Fantasy which is alive. ALL OF IT
His familiar
A chimera
Rockie-Talkies
Two identical rocks thats transmit up to 25 word messages twice a day at a limited range
Self popping popcorn. The activation phrase is a little racist though.
>>47071337
Came here to post this.
The party of PCs from alternative reality
A perfectly balanced, fun, enjoyable game.
>>47089104
Levels, man.
Levels of sad.
A bunch of random artifacts from the future, like muskets and broken computers and such.
A room with a mirror, bed, girdle of masculinity/femininity, a dildo, and a case of 12 potions (with 2d6 still in used) that temporarily (1D4+1 hours) changes the imbiber's form into that of what was or will be it in its prime.
>>47058529
>a fae queen who tells lies
>Jimmy Hoffa's grave
>a whores virginity
>an immovable object in perpetual motion
>the reason why children love cinnamon toast crunch
>the formula to nuka cola quantum
>the amount of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
>your girlfriend
>>47058529
Shelves and shelves of mislabeled potions. I had an Ars Magica character do this. He wasn't senile, he was just a paranoid asshole.
>>47058537
Specifically. You know of all those socks that seem to go missing and never turn up? All the lost socks in the world eventually end up here, scattered among the floors.
>>47084851
>>47084883
Werediapers.
>A rock labled clearly "Under no circumstances throw" set gently on a desk.
> An orc skull with ornate designs and runes that are similar to a spell book
> A small pack of feral familiars
> A suspicious phone booth
> A not so suspicious bag that smells faintly of wheat
> A large print spell book
> A set of billards balls that are strangely magical
> A colony of faeries that not only light the tower, but add additional magic
> Summoned Demons playing poker because the wizard has dementia and can't figure out what to do
> A parrot that swears constantly in draconic announcing it is in fact a polymorphed ancient wrym of some kind
> A dragon that behaves like a parrot in a nearby room.
> A skeleton jelly
> A room full of potions labeled "Snake oil"
> A room full of snake oil labeled "Potions"
> A magical potato cannon
> A non magical cannon made of potatoes
> A mysterious looking treasure chest that shocks whoever tries to open it
> An attractive entity trapped behind a mirror who claims they can make the wildest fantasies come true of whoever frees it. A small plaque states "Liar" under the mirror
> A blind dwarf who forges magical artifacts for the tower, but does so completlely at random due to his last instructions
> an elixer that cures "Headaches, constipation, that ear ringing, gout, doubt, chest pain, GERD and toothache" with side effects that include "Succubus Laugh, Anal Seepage, Erectile Dysfunction, Mummy Rot, Ork Smell and Lupus"
> A ring that generates a small electrical charge when worn
> A box labeled "Elf Slav wat do?" That you can hear the sounds of accordian coming from
> Cat Armor
> Corgi Armor
> Bunny Armor
> A disturbing arena that says "Animal Olympics"
> A magical dart set that almost always hits what you aim for so long as it is not on a dart board
> A dart board that repels darts
> A growler glass that says "Growler of un-drinking"
> A golem factory
> An upset fae queen
> An upset elf queen
> An upset bard
> snek
> A crystal 8 ball
>>47111257
> A masterwork forgery kit labeled "for official use only"
> A book labeled "Spell book" that contains only the spell "Spell word"
> A man summoning shotguns
> a shotgun summoning men
> A succubus and an angel chess boxing
> A guard playing a childrens card game with another wizard
> A set of stones labeled "Ioun Stones" that while fly around the head user also cause headaches and diziness
> A book that says "plot to destroy humanity" that only has "Step 1: Invent Computer Step 2: Invent internet Step 3: ??? Step 4: Proft"
> A roulette table with red, black, green and blue on it.
> A flying dutchman
> A flying nun
> A sword in a stone that can only be pulled out by the impure of heart
> A demilich being supported by a worm that walks that is in a mithril golem in a glass case labeled "Break in case of meddling kids"
> A glass case with three children in it that is labeled "Break in case of noisy villians"
> A man drinking moonshine guarding "Sumptin portnant" while playing cotton eye joe there is only a bear behind him
> A grand library of every book ever written, only every book is in explosive runes
> A mirror that shows a version of you that is of the opposite sex labled "Vanity Project"
> A kumquat that screams obscene language when looked at.
>>47094282
post it again?
>>47111406
>> A kumquat that screams obscene language when looked at.
What about a Kumquat with all the constituent parts of a human face scattered over it's surface?
>>47072125
That awl would be a nasty weapon for an assassin or other sneaky person, and the hoop would be a great addition to a castle's armory.
>>47075102
>not using a bratwurst as a walkie talkie
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>47058529
A half disintegrated notice to clean up the place because it's affecting the property value of surrounding towers.
>>47112963
>WANTING to use a bratwurst as a walkie talkie
It's like you're ASKING random dogs to eat your means of communication.
>>47072125
> Bracelet that renders you unable to reproduce when worn
Sign me up
>>47112963
One of these wizard towers is just filled with various walkie-talkie devices made out of various objects the wizard happened to have in his hand one day when he suddenly wanted to use a walkie talkie, but the other walkie talkies were in his walkie talkie room, which was a room or two away, so instead he spent a year or 3 designing a new magical wlakie talkie around the object he'd happened to have in his hand so now the walkie talkie room is just cluttered from floor to ceiling with various hand holdable objects that also function as walkie talkies
5,000 shotguns
Skeletons playing trombones and saying bone puns.
