hey /tg/
lets make some artifacts
Rules
Positives: What does having this object do to benefit its holder? What makes it worth climbing through the great maze you have created to safe guard it?
Negatives: Every powerful object has some sort of draw back. What warning is inscribed on the safe that holds it?
Guardians: Every wizard worth his weight in gold knows that anything worth taking has some sort of eternal guardian. Who guards yours? Is it a mighty dread golem with orders to crush any of enter its lair?
Or is it something more poetic? a spirit that questions the morality of adventurers to fuck with their heads?
Location: You got the object and you have the guard: but where are they? In the frozen north? the middle of a massive desert? Right under your house? is it big? Small? another plane?
>Cookbook of Infinite Recipes
An immense cook book that contains a seemingly infinite number of recipes, and flipping through the pages while thinking of someone will lead you to the recipe of what food they would most desire to eat out of the ingredients that can be obtained within an hour's journey
The book provides good advice and directions, but does not confer any actual skill, making it useless in the hands of anyone except a chef of at least modest ability. Botching a recipe is a great insult to the book, and it can hold a grudge for quite a long time, providing seemingly tasty and expensive recipes that instead taste horrid to anyone that it finds unsuitable.
It is guarded by a cow-headed guardian, a pig-headed guardian, and a chicken-headed guardian, with the first testing any would-be chef's stamina in a wrestling contest, the second testing their sense of smell by fighting them in a magically dark and silent chamber, and the third testing their skills with a knife in a knife-fight reminiscent of a cockfight.
It can be found in the bottom-most level of an iceberg that serves as a floating restaurant.
>>47049462
That's really creative. Great way for the group cook to show off to nobility.
10/10
Talisman of of Mundane Fuckery
>A small steely blob of unknown metal. Heavy, but slightly malleable to the touch when warmed by human contact.
>The possessor of this talisman will have a consistently positive outlook on life and more confidence in general. Previously difficult tasks will become more manageable, and information is both absorbed faster, as well as retained longer.
>Unfortunately, the possessor of the talisman is destined to be faced with some extraordinary bad luck. The talisman itself is a fickle beast and will inevitably seek a new owner when it becomes bored. Things will at first seem coincidental, but the person's luck will continue to get worse the longer they hold onto the talisman. The worst part about the talisman is that it blinds the owner to it's destructive power. Whoever posses the talisman will remain inappropriately optimistic in spite of the circumstances, much to the chagrin of all those around them.
>It's guarded by a steampunk humanoid spider robot. At first the robot helpfully leads the adventurer through a dungeon, but seems slightly unsettling with its enthusiastic mannerisms. As the party winds through the dungeon, the robot continues to drift further and further from reality, eventually attacking the party with the most impeccable luck imaginable, in spite of it's horrible equipment.
>The talisman can be found in a vast, mysterious desert filled with synesthesia inducing traps. None of them are particularly dangerous, most are more annoying and tedious than anything.
Gravedigger
An indestructible shovel that repeats any action performed with it to the ground twelve times, five feet away at each interval. So, for instance, if you were to dig a grave, you would end up with thirteen graves altogether, as was its intended purpose.
However, it quickly became a tool of war, rapidly digging trenches, tunnels, and undermining castles. Ultimately, it was said to have caused the deaths of so many people that even it could not dig enough graves for them.
It was given to a golem that was instructed to dig into the center of the earth, and thirteen long shafts were dug, deep into the earth, and they get deeper each year.
>>47049910
That's pretty good
Not great
But good. Would use to build traps 7/10
Belt of genderswaping.
>because its TG...get it?
>The ring of undying breath
Silver, with a large blue stone set into it.
When worn, it gives the wearer seemingly endless life. Their wounds close and heal, their soul cannot be removed, and they do not age
Unfortunately, life must be traded for life. Each time they are revived, they must kill a living, sentient being to even the scales. This starts off as a minor compulsion, but can become full blown psychosis if the wearer refuses to kill, eventually causing nature spirits to possess the wearer to forcibly balance life with death.
The Guardian is whoever was last wearing it. While the healing is much faster than normal, it is not instantaneous, so there is time for the ring, or entire hand, to be removed.Bonus points if you know what show I stole the idea from
Positives: Very light. Can create a gust of air strong enough to slow the wielder's fall. Cuts with the power of a biting wind.
Negatives: It's fragile and has to be regularly maintained with magic. It cannot be used to block an attack.
Guardians: A Couatl.
Location: An ancient temple that has been slowly levitating upwards for the last two-hundred years, that has become overgrown with a tropical garden.
>>47048740
>>47051834
Warehouse 13
Wheres my gold coins?
>>47048740
>Orb of infinite mana
looks:
something aking to plasma orb in the center, surrounded by rotating Möbius rings.
positives:
it generates near infinite mana to fuel artifacts, spells - basically free energy. Transfer ammount is limited though - you can't drain it all at once.
negatives:
it actually drains mana from all over the world - channelling it to itself - turning world to slightly shittier and shittier the longer it is running. It is also not perfect - it drains more than it can provide. The only way to disable it is to limit the range of drain to few meters - turning area around it to dead zone.
it is guarded by 5 elementals - they are actually keeping it confined and won't attack anyone who tries to get the artefact - they will just warn you about it's power in cryptic riddles. they also cannot be harmed.
each elemental provides a barrier that is antithesis to their element:
fire elemental made the dead zone to have temperature of 0 kelvin.
air elemental removed air from the dead zone
water elemental made the dead zone devoid of any and all water - and any water that is moved to the zone is slowly drained.
Earth elemental removed most of the rocks, except very large, sharp and pointy granite spikes.
Mana elemental is keeping all other elementals protected.
location:
dead zone with the artefact is located in lush jungle - the deadzone is quite big - it was limited to 1km in radius.
The Oathbreaker (or, translated directly from its original tongue, "That Which Breaks the Ties That Bind")
The Oathbreaker appears to be a staff made from a branch of fossilized wood and, on the bottom of said staff there is, apparently hammered into the wood before it was fossilized, a golden ring with the opposite of a seal upon it. The anti seal is hard to look at directly as it seems to hurt the human brain, and even though they cannot quite enunciate it's physical description, any sapient creature that looks at it has the same IDEA of the item put into its brain. This ring contains an anti seal. While a ring with a crest or seal binds thing, makes deals or pacts this is somehow the... opposite of that. The staff also has an accessory in the form of a a pitch black bag that can be affixed to the bottom of the staff that seems to contain and nullify the powers of the staff when attached.
Positives: When the staff touches something, the bindings and oaths associated with it are nullified completely. That is, if it touches an armor plate it could cause the armors bindings to immideately come undone, revealing the man beneath. It could also, however cause the very molecules of the armor to come apart into their baser elements. If it strikes a contract it magically undoes it, even if the parties involved are miles and miles away and the agreement has no reason to be absolved, the staff and it's abilities undo the whole thing. Ancient bonds of friendship between houses could be torn asunder and the parties involved would be none the wiser, as reasons for the bond to break would be presented by the staffs power. It undoes any and all bonds. It could undo the bonds of class, making someone free to walk where they pleased, it could completely ahnihalate a marriage that had gone strong for 70 years. But it could also cause a mountain to crumble into its base pieces, as the stones that morphed into it over time all come apart at once.
CONT.
>>47061728
negatives:
It is kind of random. Even though it seems that it is capable of linking with the users mind in some ways, somewhat understanding what needs to be done, it will ocasionally interpret its power randomly. That is, you may intend to cause a saucy tavern wench's clothes to come undone but instead the staff causes all her organs, bones and muscle to come unglued and she falls into a tony of fleshy pieces. You may intend to destroy a book of natural philosophy, turning it into dust, but instead you undo the universal natural laws contained within thus destroying the universe. Because the staff and by proxy its ring come from a place much higher than us and far different from us are their motivations.
It is guarded by nothing and no one but to reach it you must find the land of ash in the aetherial plane. It is a place that perhaps was affected by the releasing of various ties that bind. It is floating somewhere in the void, a piece of land composed of rubble, dust, broken bodies and unmade trees. and lying in the center of it is the staff, gripped by a skeletal hand.
