So, I have been thinking about alien invasions.
Most of the stuff aliens usually invade for (water, natural resources) would be much easier to get elsewhere in the solar system. What is a resource we have unique to earth worth fighting over?
raw genetic material
>>46983935
Cerebral fluid.
We'd be invaded because we're potentially dangerous.
>>46983935
>What is a resource we have unique to earth worth fighting over?
Ever read Ninja High School?
Human dick
There is a ton of different genomes on earth which have been developing for billions of years. They could be searching for proteins or RNAs for medical, industrial, technological, biological weapon ect. reasons, like what we do today through bioinformatics.
Or you could just make them invade to steal all of our music and porn.
>>46983935
Slave labor.
>>46984650
>>46983982
These. Humans are unpredictable and have a knack for somehow making progress in the worst situations. It'd be wise to either annex their species into the aliens army, or just wipe them out before they become a potential threat to further expansion efforts.
>>46984739
>Humans are ________
when will this meme end
>>46984745
when humans stop being things
>>46984745
>implying it's impossible to make species-wide generalizations
>but it's okay when we do it to pit bulls
>>46983935
The stuff we have unique to Earth wouldn't be worth fighting over, it'd be worth stealing. If I were an alien capable of superluminal travel and consistent spaceflight without any badtouch medical problems creeping up, I'd probably just be out looking for a snack, for all definitions of "snack" which include a massive feast of a planet's various produce and cuisines.
Ayylmaos long ago (i.e since the 1960s) signed an accord with the US Government, trading technological scraps from their equivalent of Wikipedia for massive shipments of food, vegetables, and meat. This explains why America imports so much food in my settings.
>>46983959
All hail Arkvoodle, Lord of the Sacred Crotch. Bow Chicka Bow Down.
>>46984779
there's no other sapient species to compare ourselves to, until that point we're just us
>>46984798
>since the 1960s
>not the 30s/40s
>>46984745
>Aliens are _______
when will this meme end
>>46984872
nonexistent
>>46984887
With the scale of the universe in mind that's massively improbable. Whether they buzz Earth is a different matter.
>>46983935
>What is a resource we have unique to earth worth fighting over?
Gasoline.
Requiring organic life and thousands of years to condence down. Oil is one of the rarest substances in the universe.
>>46984856
My technological divide is basically "really miniaturized transistors": we could figure out how to make them but making them small was frustrating American scientists. Ironically, in my settings the Apollo Project is a 100% human endeavor, but it was pushing the boundaries of what we could do. It took aliens to get humanity to 80s tech and beyond.
>>46984913
We can make jet fuel, let alone gasoline, today from acidic top-layer seawater and electricity. Aliens aren't going to be pursuing carbon fuel on the basis that it's rare.
>>46984913
>We have come for all of your petroleum jelly, take us to your leader!
Our women
Maybe our biosphere is the only one where life naturally produces adrenaline? We are the best soldiers because we naturally produce combat drugs?
>>46983959
That one actually does make sense. Whether the aliens are looking for new things to eat, slave labour, genetic samples for their science projects or slaves Earth certainly does have a lot of life which seems to be rare in the universe.At least as far as we know.
Minerals and other stuff you can find floating around in space but the life on Earth might make it worth the invasion.
>>46985013
Adrenaline is easy to synthesize.
>>46984797
>implying pit bulls are one species and not several miscategorized or misidentified species
>implying I don't see your point and agree with it.
Pit bulls are cute and fun.
>>46983935
>What is a resource we have unique to earth worth fighting over?
Nothing. War of the Worlds had a reason for Martians to invade - they fucked their own planet into being uninhabitable, and taking ours was the most rational solution - but the alien invasion 'genre' just copied the invasion aspect without bothering with the reasoning behind it. The simple fact is, to a race that is capable of launching a planetary invasion over interstellar space, we are neither a threat of any sort nor do we have anything to give them.
>>46983935
Entertainment.
>>46985054
>Adrenaline is easy to synthesize.
So are diamonds, but people still pay out the ass for "genuine".
No reason why genuine human body parts wouldn't be worth more than cheap (yet identical) vat-grown ones. Plus you gotta figure in the extra costs for abducting humans, transporting them, etc. etc.
Noveau-rich aliens will pay plenty for exclusive bragging rights.
>captcha is limousines
>>46985159
I don't think those ladies understand how the console video game industry works.
>>46985187
They are more on the point than /v/ usually is.
>>46985159
You could've used a much more related pic.
>>46984911
I know, it's just easier that say that as opposed to 'there's no hard evidence of advanced alien civilizations within our view'.
I just get tired of people assigning Humanity traits on a spectrum when currently we are the gamut.
>>46985187
Only one lady.
The other's behind this image.
>>46985162
>Adrenaline is easy to synthesize.
>So are diamonds, but people still pay out the ass for "genuine".
That's mainly due to the cartels that are keeping the artificial diamonds out of the markets as well as they can.
Is there a similar alien cartel that tries to keep synthesized human body-parts and adrenaline out of the market so that they can sell the "authentic and 100% natural, no GMO" human flesh business for themselves?
Will the players be humans that are investigating the abductions or aliens from a rival corporation?
>>46985220
I didn't have one where Nyaruko's talking about porn.
Or with Ut'ulls-Hr'ehr.
>>46985139
Well, I wouldn't say nothing.
The invaders could be a generation ship, that came to our solar system, because they found evidence for a promising planet in the sun's habitable zone.
Could be they lost their old planet, could be they're just looking to expand.
The aliens want to have sex with species that are alien to them, and we're the first other living thing they've found in the universe. Unfortunately they learned that we aren't sexually compatible, and war is how they're dealing with the frustration.
>>46985455
You know damn well that if I was from /d/ I'd say they wanted to rape us, not that they're incapable of it.
Memes
>>46983935
Holly relics. Aliens are fighting against literal demons from hell and they need sacred shit as ammo and weapons.
>>46983935
I've been considering this as well. All the material recources available here can be procured somewhere else, except raw data:
Our planet 4,5 billion years of development; all the miryad solutions evolved for unique obstacles for life; the abstract material developed by our species; DNA itself and its countless permutations.
Just as current human science acquires insight from shrimp's eyes to develop something as unrelated as cancer detection systems, this aliens seek to hoard all the ideas and solutions that nature produced for later study and benefit from it: high-powered basic science.
UFOs as Op's pic aren't spacecraft, but unmanned plataforms for extremely powerful and throughout sensor arrays, the aegis radar array multiplied by a very broad eletromagnetic wavelentgh and fusion reactors. Just as the aegis kills birds and bugs passing in front of it, this alien sensor system causes widespread destruction as a side-effect of scanning and compiling the data of what was destroyed.
When the heroes destroy the 'mothership' and deactivate all alien ufos, they simply destroyed one of many research and data storage vessels sent all over the galaxy. The standard response is to send thrice the numbers to ensure the hostile data will be harvested and stored.
>>46983935
Humanity. Sentient species are such a rarity in the universe to be made into slaves.
Dinosaurs.
Just because humans can't rejuvenate their DNA, Jurassic Park-style, doesn't mean the aliens can't.
And they need as many Dinosaur samples as they can get. There's a war coming, and they need an army; big, strong, fierce, territorial; everything the aliens aren't. Get 'em all gengineered, cyber-yoked up and ready for battle.
Humans, of course, will have to be dealt with so the excavation can begin.
>Human horn
Or in general everything that just grows here for it is exotic to every non native.
In fact that would apply to every planet in the galactic community. Since resources are by no means hard to aquire once you reach a certain technological level the only thing worth left to get are luxury goods.
Besides this hedonistic reason the only other option would be of an idiological reasoning
>>46985671
Oh, and if you're running in a campaign in this gonzo, Dinosaur-driven alien invasion...
The PC's can include:
Humans (scientists? Jet pilots? guerilla resistance fighters?)
"Humanitarian" alien turncoats
Uplifted dinosaur experiments (proof-of-concept warriors)
Enemies can include:
Anything from Turok
Tyrannosaurus with lasers and rockets
Mindlinked raptors
Pterodactyl-riding aliens
Megalodon submarine hunter-killersI have the weirdest boner right now.
>>46985652
>Holly relics
>>46983935
Entertainment. The aliens are really bored and jaded and the only way they can have any fun is by murdering other species. That's why they don't just launch something at relativistic speeds into the planet and blow it up immediately.
>>46983935
material for intergalactic soap operas/space dramas
You, know, an alien invasion made much more sense as a concept when we thought they could maybe exist on the planet closest to Earth.
>>46985662
They wish to harness the power of HFY.
No other species in the universe possesses concepts of "never give up" and "think outside the box", they just banged two rocks together and by sheer chance a fully functional interstellar warship fleet was built instantly.
>>46985872
Fug
>>46983935
Biological life, habitable planet, apart from that... Not much else really
>>46985671
>Aliens can travel across the galaxy at a whim
>Aliens have the tech to bring back creatures that died 65 million years ago
>Aliens have a huge war coming
>Clone dinosaurs
Don't get me wrong, its a fun idea, but practicality, it makes ZERO sense
>>46986684
Their Ancient Scrolls say the Galaxy will be saved by an ankylosaurus.
There, done.
>>46983935
dank memes
>>46986684
Guy who posted the idea here, it's explicitly designed not to make sense so I consider that a compliment.
>>46986764
Ayy lmao.
>>46986684
See his second post
>aliens riding pteranodons
>megalodon submarine hunters
I doubt it's supposed to make sense. ..
>>46986703
Tyrannosaurus X, uplifted high prophet and anointed cyber-pope of the Helia-9 autocracy, key to winning the galactic war and spreading the holy text to the furthest reaches of the stars.
>>46983935
If they breath the same air mixture, they could use Earth as a deep space launching point for further exploration. A rest stop if you will.
>>46983935
I imagine they'd be coming here for some scientific, "humanitarian", or religious motives. Or because they'd be bored.
If they are advanced enough they are probably very lofty.
>>46986984
So it's not so much an invasion but more a kind of Roadside Picnic?
>>46983935
Space is inhospitable. Mining stuff on earth is much more convenient, not to mention that humans have already went through the trouble of refining it.
They can just rip up our electricity networks for copper etc, just like our human scavengers do.
Real Estate.
The alien invaders are space nomads looking for a planet with an amicable biosphere and want to colonize. Their fleet is in dire straits, barely holding together, and they just don't want to share with a bunch of bald monkeys.
>>46987403
>Real Estate
Great, now I'm picturing the alien invader version of this scene.
Chlorophyll.
All you need is sunlight, water and carbon dioxide and in return you easily get oxygen and energy stored in carbohydrate.
>>46983935
Absolutely nothing. A species technologically advanced enough to engage in interstellar warfare could produce anything artificially.
>Because we pose a threat.
Holy shit, no. No we do not. If an interstellar civilization wants humanity dead, we're dead. There is absolutely nothing we can do about it. They wouldn't even have to expend that much energy to do it, either. Kinetic kill weapons are cheap and easy. A refrigerator-sized projectile accelerated at relativistic speeds across lightyears? Earth would be toast.
Once you solve FTL you don't have to worry about resources.
>>46987492
>IT TAKES BALLS TO CONQUER EARTH
>DONT DRINK THAT COFFEE! COFFEE IS FOR CONQUERERS!
>>46983935
Bacon
>>46983935
Us, as a technologically evolved species.
You have to understand, as an alien race that evolved on another planet with its own unique conditions, humans are going to be biologically VERY different from aliens. That's not just little quirks like 'we breath different gases' but also stuff like communicating with different mediums and having entirely different forms of cognition, because how you think is a matter of brain structure and chemistry. Whatever their thinking organ is, its going to be different from ours. Which means it works differently on a fundamental level.
This means that they are going to be able to perceive things that we can't, and on top of that think in ways and come to conclusions that humanity physically wont ever think of. We might stumble into it on accident or arrive at a similar conclusion by sheer brute force of testing, but it doesn't come naturally to us in any way and for every thing we luck into there are the 99 other things we missed.
But that goes both ways. Just as they have things we will never think of, we likewise have things they will never think of.
A lot of this stuff isn't in any way useful. Sleepmaster beds are worthless to a race that never sleeps. But, if nothing else, we provide the incredibly rare chance for an alternate perspective. By adding our eyes to their own, they can open up new branches of thought and science that they naturally just don't normally dwell on or consider.
But making use of this requires massive sharing of information, which could potentially leave us in a position to steal more of their secrets than they steal of ours and end up in a dominant position rather than an equal one. Since they already have a technological head start on us, the wisest course of action for them is to conquer and enslave us. Integrate us into their empire as a vassal race, steal any knowledge we have that they don't already, and use our consultation powers purely for their benefit as attendant slaves.
>>46987902
That's stupid, it would be much more efficient to spy on us, maybe abduct the occasional promising specimen, that kind of thing. We can't steal their secrets if we don't know they exist; they can't discover our full potential if we're kept as slaves.
>>46987970
They don't want us to discover our full potential. That makes us rivals. That doesn't benefit them much.
They just want, in a room full of their scientists, to have one provided 'educated human' in the room that they can occasionally show their designs and go 'what are your impressions on this?'
They don't need a lot of us for that, but they do need us to be raised on enough of their technology that they don't have to stop and explain the basics to us every time.
So maybe their invasion isn't conquering, but worldwide abductions. Getting enough humans for a sustainable and genetically diverse breeding population, filtering for skills they find particularly useful to their needs.
They don't expect the first generation humans they stole to be very cooperative, but after a few generations the kids won't even remember Earth and they can be made use of.
As far as Earth is concerned, its still 'holy shit, Aliens showing up and stealing our peeps!' And once the aliens have what they want from us, there is the question of whether they feel safe just leaving us alone.
There's a few reasons that you may wish to visit an alien planet.
If you plan on invading, you are almost certainly doing it for religious (or tribal) reasons. War for resources or territory is pointless when you have literally billions of square light years of space that is completely devoid of life to suck dry. Instead, you are almost definitely invading because your god or racial pride tells you to kill, enslave, or forcibly convert all sentient life.
If this is the case there is a good chance that you're a culturally primitive race, so it's sort of strange that you have FTL travel. We can thus view this possibility as highly unlikely, which means that warlike "invasions" in general are unlikely.
Now, if you just want to make contact, there's many more reasons. The biggest one is cultural. Each new species has new stories, new artwork, and new music to enjoy. You also get new, interesting minds to talk to. Or, uh, "talk" to, as the case may be. My image may be slightly related. Of course, you could always take their broadcasts that are being sent into space, but I imagine at some point you're going to want to see how they tackle your own stories. So if you get abducted by aliens and they either try to fuck youhopefully acquiring consent beforehandor to talk about how cool that new Mad Max movie was, don't be too surprised
You may wish to contact them for economic reasons as well. There's a chance that other species may have a comparative advantage in certain goods due to something in their biology, so it's good for both parties if you start trading. So maybe in some cases they come down ranting about how awesome our cheese is and offering all sorts of crazy shit to buy cheese. If that's the case, it's in our mutual interest to make the exchange, and set off fulfilling our destiny of a universe-wide cheese empire. I'm sure it will make France happy, at the very least.
I've read a good hypothetical essay on what would happen if aliens were discovered and what procedures would follow. Basically, they wanted to conquer us it would be because we'd be perceived as a threat.
Earth doesn't really have much resources you can't get from asteroid mining and if they wanted experiment with our genetics or whatever then they'd do so in a more covert or peaceful way. If you're studying creatures for whatever scientific or medical reason the last thing you'd want is for them to nuke themselves into oblivion in an intergalactic war.
>>46988124
>it would be because we'd be perceived as a threat
Especially since it'd be very unlikely for us to have close enough technological power to stand up to them. We'd be cavemen to them, and with no way to copy their tech if they don't want us to.
>>46988102
Another reason might be to save us from some kind of disaster. Maybe the orcs have us in their sights, or there's a projectile hurling towards us at 0.5c. In that case, it's pretty trivial to salvage seven billion people if you have a galactic empire (remember, raw resources are barely scarce at that point), so you might as well do it. Maybe you have some sort of Star-Trek-Esque "prime directive" that prevents you from fucking with non-FTL societies, but, for our sake, I hope aliens are a bit more likely to help out in case of giant meteors.
There's also the dim (but still existent) chance that humans are seen as some sort of weird anomaly. Maybe the universe, outside of our sphere of observation, is absolutely teeming with life, to the point where every solar system has two or more occupied planets and most places start communicating with aliens by the time they get a radio. Maybe most other sentient races have a hivemind of some sort. In this case they might want to study us, in which case the best course of action is to not make contact until you have to.
Overall, the chances of a malignant alien invasion are low, and in most of those cases humanity is utterly, completely fucked. There's the slim chance that you're coming across a race that's exceedingly stupid and we can con our way out, but most of the time, if ayy lmaos want us dead, we're dead, sad to say.
Thankfully, the chances of a benevolent(ish) first contact are, in my estimation, much higher than the chances of devastation. In almost all those cases we benefit just as much (if not more) than the aliens do. So, worry not, we're probably fine.
Of course, these predictions are made by assuming aliens behave in a way that's at least sort of similar to us. There's a chance that they might have completely different ideas about everything, in which case these are useless. I don't think that's very likely, though.
If they can be as ridiculous as humans are, they'd still come for our water one way or another.
Aliens just paying out the ass for Earth Water like some artisanal bullshit.
>>46988676
>"Oh, it's Earth water, you simply must get some! It's been so good on my Gloxnax, ever since I started drinking it my mate has commented that I look stunning daily!"
>>46983935
That girl at the front looks oddly happy about it. Bet she's a part of some odd cult.
>oh fuck, the apocalypse finally came, I've been waiting for so long!
>>46984913
Any alien race advanced enough to achieve interstellar travel will be able to find much more energy-dense fuels in abundance throughout the solar system. They could harvest shit-tons of He3 from the moon. Invading Earth for gasoline would be like invading it for firewood or coal.
>>46985379
>Unfortunately they learned that we aren't sexually compatible
That just means they're not fucking trying hard enough.
>>46989338
From teh wikis:
> It has been estimated that the visible lakes and seas of Titan contain about 300 times the volume of Earth's proven oil reserves.
So why the fuck exactly would you come all the way to the inner Sol system to a rocky world full of assholes and subsequently mine to extract your desired hydrocarbons, when you can just siphon from a surface ethane lake the size of New Mexico?
>>46984008
No. Do tell, though.
>>46984982
Why would an alien want to have sex with a human woman?
>>46983935
Virgin anal cavities.
>>46983935
They want to make us into a puppet-state so they can use our vote in the Galactic UN, which is 1-vote-per-species
>>46990050
The same reason humans fantasize about green skinned space babes.
>>46984913
Gasoline is a hydrocarbon. Asteroids bearing carbon exist. Hydrogen is one of the most abundant elements in the universe. Good try though.
Hell, they could probably get all they needed fro Titan, come to think of it.
>>46990161
But they are not human. Another factor is that they might not even be humanoid, so their idea of attractive isn't a curvy human woman's body with large tits and wide hips, but rather something like a squid or a lobster.
>>46983935
Nothing, the only thing that differentiates earth significantly from other planets in our Solar System is that it plays host to a species of sapient biological replicators. Other planets have more water, yet others have more petrochemicals, others have more diamonds or precious metals, et-cetra. The only reason ayyliums would interact with humanity was to gather information about us for the intellectuals of their species to examine. Perhaps even our biology is not particularly unique, in which case the only information of value we possess would be of our various cultures, religions, music, and art. Our scientific discoveries would be meaningless to a species capable of efficient interstellar travel, those would be discoveries they themselves had made hundreds or even thousands of years before us.
>>46983935
>What is a resource we have unique to earth worth fighting over?
Sex.
>>46990215
but anon there are people here that want to have sex with a squid
maybe the invasion force is a society of human fetishists who have been watching us for several centuries
>>46990265
>but anon there are people here that want to have sex with a squid
Yes squid as in anime girl that has squid like traits. I'm sure there are people that actually want to have sex with a squid, but they are not the majority.
>>46990264
Alien here. What the fuck is with you humans and your obsession with sex?
>Oh this alien race clearly wants to have sex with us degenerate inferior beings because we're so great!
You fucking narcissists.
>>46983935
K-pop idols.
>>46990379
Blame their biology; their species is almost constantly fertile, unlike us enlightened beings who rely on government regulation to control our breeding cycles and ensure healthy population growth rates.
Although, from your irate response to the crass biological issues of said species, I would assume that you're a digital life-form from Rigel Gamma? Your kind do have a preference for generating new process-persons when needed, I believe. (Incidentally, the most recent demoscene festival broadcast was quite excellent, in my opinion.)
>>46983935
Land within a magnetic field, presumably. It naturally keeps out the radiation and you can grow living stuff there a lot easier than on an asteroid.
Heavy metals (iron and up) are probably far easier to gather from an earthlike planet than elsewhere. Asteroids would be quite low, and trying to pull them out of a gas giant or ice giant (or a star) would be massively more difficult.
Also, just killing off other potential dangerous aspects could be a reason.
>>46983935
Aliens gotta get them 11 herbs and spices.
>>46984797
Haha, yes, animals that have been deliberately made into killers are certainly maligned by people saying that they are killers.
Next up, accusing pedophiles of being dangerous to children: a step too far?
>>46983935
Lifeforms. Who knows what kind of goodies they can potentially discover and harvest from them all?
Also its obviously proven earth can support life so if they have the same living requirements of humans they may take an interest.
Another reason if for some reason if they consider humans a threat. At that point though they could literally obliterate us from orbit or even far beyond or take us out with a gene tailored super plague if they want to keep the planet reasonably intact.
It's not an invasion, they are here to help save us from ourselves. If all our institutions have to be destroyed in the process, so be it.
Heck, even if they don't want to meddle, peaceful contact with an advanced alien race could feel like an invasion.
>>46984802
Way to get me in the nostalgia, thank you based anon
Pictures of a solar/lunar eclipse.
>>46985671
These fuckers here are playing a very dangerous game indeed
>>46990265
No-one would have believed, in the early years of the 21st century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless whorls of space. No-one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinised as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men could even concieve of the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably hornier than ours regarded this Earth with lust-filled eyes, and slowly and surely, they fapped and made plans to acquire their human waifus
