What's the stupidest thing you've had a player during a campaign? During my last session I had the players invade a thri-kreen encampment and while they were planning out the details of it one of the players complained that their incredibly basic invasion plan was too detailed for how smart the characters were and added, this is a direct quote "How do we know the thri-kreen aren't going extinct on their own?"
>>46927910
My current group woke up a vampire assuming he could be convinced to join their crew.
>>46927910
Players find a stone chest. Beat around the bush when they actually want to open it. One finally opens it.
- "What's in it?"
- "Green Slime"
- "I stick my hand in it!" :D
- "Alright, you're gobbled up and are taking continuous damage, half of the damage it takes goes to you." (He played a wizard.)
He threw a temper tantrum, got saved and felt sorry for himself without thanking anyone else.
>PC1 sees a weapon called a 'micro-nuke launcher' in the rulebook. Decides that he wants it. He doesn't have enough money.
>PC2 gives him money to help buy it.
>We meet BBEG, who thinks that the PCs are his allies.
>PCs decide that BBEG must be stopped.
>PC2 runs off to warn BBEG about us before we have made our plans.
>Remaining PCs agree that our survival is secondary to stopping BBEG.
>BBEG gives PC2 a large number of mooks to try and stop us.
>Mooks appear. All standing in one group with PC2 in the middle.
>PC1 fires micro-nuke launcher at PC2.
>PC2 and all the mooks die.
>Two more PCs, including one that PC2 hated for most of the campaign, die because they chose to stay within the blast radius to make sure that BBEG's anti-matter reactor loses containment.
>>46927910
What the fuck does this complaint even mean?
>>46930128
He didn't see the point in going to kill the thri-kreen because of the off chance that they all died of natural causes.
>>46930128
Seems pretty simple. What evidence do we have that we can't just wait for the thri-kreen to all die off naturally?
while in the rectory of a powerful priest, barbarian decides to make a show of force in preparation to rob him. so he bisects the altar boy
>>46930179
>>46930191
Autismus Maximus (the player in question not the posters)
>>46928781
D&D, WoD/CoD, or other?
If it's World of Darkness, and at least one of your players is a vamp, for shame for not taking a perfect opportunity for diablerie.
Bard thought he could redeem an evil NPC with his dick. Player had to reroll character.
>>46930275
with....with his axe?
>>46930807
yes. up to that point he had played neutral good pretty straight
>>46930179
So, pretty much the elf invasion strategy.
>>46927910
>have an idea for a magical item that would go well with a PC in my campaign
>spellcaster can use it to take damage in exchange for spell slot restoration
>player uses it sparingly for a while
>cue small dungeon crawl which leads to a couple of fugitives
>player has been using magical item to misty step a fuckload while replenishing spell slots
>combat with fugitives ensue, look at player's character sheet
>5 hp before any damage from enemies done to character
>character in the middle of a grease pit
>fire bolt makes its way to grease pit
>character is unconscious in a small puddle of flames
Seriously I hadn't so much as targeted the character and her HP was already at 5. To be honest I'm considering myself more stupid for inventing the item than the player for not using it well.
>Fight a couple of undead enemies
>Routine detect magic indicates their cloaks and swords are magical
>My PC (older mercenary guy) calls pic related
>Other guy goes to put on cloak
>"Bet it's cursed."
>He tries to cast a spell
>literally blows up in his face
>suddenly a giant zombie-golem thing shows up
>He rolls well on initiative
>casts another spell
>Without taking off the cloak
>He drops to 1 or 2 hp
I don't know how he didn't get killed
>>46931634
This is why blood magic is forbidden, you know.
>>46931634
Who is the idiot: The one who invented TNT, or the one who blew his legs off with it?
>>46927910
Oh god, I have a whole ream of these, I'm not even sure which one is the worst.
The one that's coming most vividly to mind at the moment is
>Players have managed to buy and partially even control an old abandoned archmage's tower, which they use as their base of operations.
>They don't fully understand everything there, and every so often have to fend off a rogue golem or a magical apparatus about to explode, but there's some advantages too.
>One of them is a teleporter, which was a fairly complicated device, and they spent several sidequests just doing stuff to amass information on how to use it safely.
>In the course of their adventures, they make several enemies.
>One of them gets pissed off to the point of hiring an 150 man army to attack them in their home.
>Players decide that running is a better idea than a siege/standoff.
>And they've got this handy teleporter.
>Meanwhile, going all scorched earth to destroy or protect things that they can't carry with them.
>And they have this big power crystal, which is useful in several magical rituals.
>It's too unstable to take through the teleporter.
>They don't want to leave it behind.
>Hey, let's use it to power our teleport out!
>DM, we want to go to [location]
>Uhm, you're using a power source with a way higher charge than you need to get there, you have a very high chance of a teleporter mishap.
>Oh, it'll be fine.
>There's a mishap.
>The ensuing explosion not only kills them, but blows up half the tower.
>GM tells party that building we're at is the meeting place of the Cult that worships the monster we're chasing
>We kick down the door and slaughter everyone in there in one round using superb strategy and team work for the first time in the entire campaign
>everyone was on point
>everyone was having fun
>our barbarian finishes off the last cultist
>GM sighs and rubs his temple
>"They were going to help you find the monster"
>Players have ventured into Hell in order to <PLOT>
>Players have attended a slave auction in Hell, in order to purchase a slave for an Aranea so she'll let them take her shortcut to where they need to go
>Paladin is involved
>Plans on bamboozling the Aranea
>Seems like a good plan to me, but that's where the good planning ended
>Party is trying to negotiate a better deal for a particular slave the Aranea wants
>Auction guards are getting antsy
>Paladin really wants to smite the slave master
>He's got a mighty tingling in his smitin' arm
>I know this guy, he'll smite from sun-up to sun-down and his work will never be done
>but he has a particular ritual, when it comes to smitin'
>You see, he'll smite an evildoer because his god requires it
>He'll smite an evildoer because he needed smitin'
>He'll smite an evildoer just for getting in his way
>He'll even smite evildoers who were just buggin' him with their evildoin'
>but before he smites anyone, he always wants to be sure
>Surely that won't be necessary in this case, the guy's running a slave auction
>Surely he won't need to make sure, he's surrounded by slave owners and slave buyers and slave sellers in the midst of literal actual hell
>Surely he can just skip to the smiting, this time if no other
>* [PALADIN] gets ready to summon [SPECIAL MOUNT] if he has to run.
>* [PALADIN] uses detect evil, just to be ready
Now, I had to really quickly look up the detection spells to find out how much evil would be overwhelming, and what the effects should be. Obviously, he was facing down about 30-50HD of evil creatures, creatures with evil descriptors, and literal demons. Not to mention he was in literal actual Hell. And, though I wouldn't hold it against him for not knowing, he was currently within the personal space of a potent god of evil. I was well within my right to simply declare his head exploded, but wisely decided to just have him stunned.
>>46930364
DnD. No excuse. They just assumed they were cool enough.
>>46928781
Anyone have a screencap of the phylactery story?
>Fellow player complains and gets super pissy if they find magic items that aren't what their character uses or aren't what they want to wear/wield
>Doesn't seem to get that those items can be distributed amongst the rest of the party
>Takes magic items that are completely useless to their character and hoards them for no good reason (gave me a Book of Exhalted Deeds they found but refused to hand over the key that was required to open it)
>>46934590
This is hilarious and amazing.
I love this paladin, even if he's a giant headache at the table.
>>46934811
I've got this in my Through the Breach game.
>Player has a soulstone, but never uses it because "I don't wanna run out of charges"
>Player knows another character wants a soulstone. That's his goal, it's on his sheet.
>Player finds a second soulstone trying to power a dark ritual.
>Player keeps the second soulstone and never uses it.
>Same player then bitches that her character is lame despite being able to shoot fear bullets, electric bullets, and turn invisible.
>Rest of party is not amused.
>>46934590
I had a good laugh. Well played.
Okay are you ready for stupidity.
>Group enters a old keep that been recently inhabited by the king's men.
>They were told to wait for there appointment with the general.
>Some decide to explore the keep.
>One PC finds a door with a guard next to it
>Guard then tell the PC the box will shock you
>The PC then goes into the room and touches the box, almost kills him.
>Does it again and kills him.
>Has a cry that I'm being unfair.
Sometimes I question people logic.
>Black Crusade
>A Lictor climed on top of our parked transport ship and started tearing shit up
>We climb up to fight it
>Have a serious discussion on if we should have the pilot blast off full speed upwards and let the fall kill it
>While almost the entire party was on top of the ship
We ended up not doing it, not out of self preservation, but because we thought it would still be able to hang on
>>46927910
Party is on a ship in the middle of the sea
They are all lv 1
Storm, Ship get attacked by a Giant Squid.
Party attacks the Squid tentacles, saving sailors, being heroes.
Wizard decides to jump from the ship into the Squid's beak with a knife in his mouth telling
"Don't worry, We are just level 1, DM-Anon would never put us aganist something that we can't kill"
Guess what happened.
>>46938279
Nat 20 and the squid dies horrifcly, followed by the clapping of sailors and lamenting of women?
>>46927910
One of my Shadowrun players once used the Physical Adept power that allows you to use any small object as a throwing weapon.
Using the flask containing a biological terror weapon that was the primary target of their run.
In an airport.
>>46938358
>Shadowrun players
You know, I started laughing when I saw those two words together in this thread. Shadowrun has the dumbest, most disastrous and hilarious fuckups of any game.
Shit like "Oh, shit we forgot to develop an exit strategy" is so par for the course it doesn't even surprise me anymore.
>>46938358
jesus christ
how did that turn out
>>46938352
Failed the jump, to give him a chance decided that he landed on the squid head, near one eye.
The Wizard tried another jump to get into the mouth insted of stabbing the eye.
The Fighter raged so hard that he had to leave the table for a minute or two.
>>46938410
>>46938358
I think we know exactly how it turned out.
>>46938410
Luckily for them, it was not a complete weapon - the idea I had was that the weapon was in two parts, the vector and the payload. So the stuff the physad broke all over the floor next to a ventilator shaft was actually just really infectious and not particularly lethal.
But then someone pointed out that a small percentage of everyone who got it would have bad reactions even without the payload.
So I sat down, looked up some epidemiology online, and eventually calculated that my PCs managed to wipe out around 2% of the world's population over the next 12 months.
I actually ended that portion of the campaign there. The sammy committed ritual suicide, the physad was hunted down by the people who gave them the mission (who were actually trying to STOP a bio-terror attack in the first place), the rigger went into hiding in a shack in the middle of nowhere, and the mage was the only PC who went on to the next section of the campaign as the player hadn't been at that session and therefore avoided direct blame, although her reputation took a long time to recover.
(She later wound up in a Brainscan/Arcology storyline. Just could not catch a break, that mage.)
>>46938456
>2% of the world population
oh lord my fucking sides
>>46934431
Why would the cultists who worship the monsters help them find the monsters?
This one's less "ridiculously stupid" and more "hilarious consequences"...
>TORG group
>In Core Earth
>All from non-Core Earth locations
>Walking to the next location they need to find
>Motorway between them and location
>Some of them have seen cars but not so many and travelling so fast
>Party can't figure out how to cross
>Aylish Barbarian decides to intimidate the traffic
Barbarian:"I SHALL FLEX AT THE METAL BEASTS AND THEY SHALL KNOW FEAR!"
>Okey dokey bro
>Uses like 4 cards and gets a ridiculous dice roll
Me: "Er... Um."
>Decide that the obvious reaction to a very successful flexing would be the complete distraction of the drivers
>Massive pile-up, crosses into both lanes
>Dozens, maybe hundreds dead
Barbarian: "HA! Witness my might! Now we cross as we wish!"
>PCs cross, carry on to where they're going
>>46934431
Something similar happened to me
>looking for lost miner
>found demon cult
>see four cultists
>"do we get one alive to gather information?"
>"nah kill them the monster will show itself eventually"
>this happens constantly throughout the campaign
>eventually DM tells us the campaign would have ended a long time ago if we just fucking stopped to talk to people instead of beating the shit out of them
>generally shrug because we were having too much fun
From tonight's Pathfinder game...
>One player plays a gunslinger
>Is braggy about how amazing his character is, how edge and cool he is, etc.
>Party is beset upon by Wyverns.
>Ranger and Barb lock down one and set up a defensive line.
>That leaves the alpha right next to gunslinger and rogue.
>Ranger informs them that they should work their way to the defensive line.
>Rogue informs Gunslinger she will back him up and help the retreat.
>Rogue flanks, and uses spring attack to stay the hell away from this thing, as they made lore checks to know about Wyvern poison and how nasty it can be.
>Rogue is setting up escape routes over and over.
>Slinger stands right next to the thing unloading into it with dual pistols.
>Poisoned, full round attacked twice, absolutely destroyed.
>Player is confused about why he died.
>>46938596
Same pathfinder game, different session.
>Paladin has a sweet mount. (Pegasus)
>Barb decides he wants one too.
>Convinces Assassin to join him on a mount capture mission.
>Doesn't ask anyone else to help.
>They go off alone.
>Find a group of Dire Hyenas.
>Barb: "These will be perfect!"
>Barbs plan is for Assassin to jump the pack, and use Death Attack on one. Then Barb will rush in to tank the remaining three. Bad plan, but okaysurefine.
>Death Attack occurs, insta kills one. Woohoo.
>Combat starts, inits rolled, Assassin goes first, Barb goes last.
>Assassin attack another Hyena.
>Hyena's rip Assassin to pieces in one round.
>Barb finally gets into the fight, kills 2, subdues the final.
>Assassin is fucking dead.
>Barb manages to capture final Hyena and leaves.
>>46938551
This is why villains explain their plot before attacking..
>>46935568
>Box will shock you
It's a literal skinner box! A SKINNER BOX!
That player has less than the intelligence of a domestic animal!
>>46927910
>Fight gigantic spider toughie
>right beside it so I get the clever idea of getting behind it because I mean come on, a spider can kick backwards and its preocipied with rest of party
>Dm is having none of my shit and the spider sits on me.
>Deals like 6d8 damage and I die
While I agree it was stupid of me to not just running away I feel justified because when the fuck does a spider sit down?
>>46934431
>GM can't roll with the story
Ftfy
>>46939198
Meh...I could see it if the spider was rearing back for a grapple or something and you were behind it at the wrong time.
But spiders are ambush predators. Sucker would have run from a group of adventurers anyway...not let itself get surrounded.
>>46927910
I had a button that was labeled as "death button", with a plaque that reads "if you press this button, you and your companions will be instantly killed and your souls will be eaten by demons".
They argued for 40 minutes and finally pressed it.
>>46939662Did they die?
>>46939198
I don't think I've ever seen a spider sit. That seems absurd.
Your GM should have just had it throw back some of those hair thingies like tarantulas do so that you were blinded.
>>46934590
To be fair, the aura must belong to a single a-lot-of-HD-outsider to be overwhelming. But still great ruling.
Is it just me, or are about 90% of these stories horribly one-sided "God, players are so dumb, why do they do such stupid things?" tales that leave out the horrible miscommunications and poor establishing of important detail from the GM?
GMs are often just as much at fault in these stories. They just "gloss over" the "trivial" details like explaining A or B in such a bad way that players think it to be X or Y instead.
And let us not even get into those GMs who drone out walls of text/speech with no enthusiasm whatsoever and expect the players to pick up one the one "super-important" detail buried between scene-setting cruft.
>>46939670
They did and their souls were eaten by demons. One of them had a literal fit about me being unfair and quit the campaign.He asks if he can return now.
>>46939804
>he found a story about him in the thread
>laughingelf.manuscript
>>46930401
Was the NPC male or female? ...or, knowing that this is a PC we're talking about, a stone golem or something?
>new campaign with some new players
>cleric makes his way to the slums alone
>a little girl leads him to a sick woman
>he wants to help
>I say, "Hey Cleric, you can roll a wisdom medicine check to see if you can actually help her."
>"I want to use a spell though. "
>doesn't have a spell that cures disease
>"just roll medicine"
>"yeah but I use healing word."
>"that restores Hitpoints and doesn't say it heals illness."
>cleric rolls a STR check to knock her out to zero hit points.
>she is knocked out
>girl runs away to get guards
>he casts healing Ward to restore her hitpoints
> is she healed now?
>no but you're getting arrested by the town guards.
>>46940136
Here is a good example of a miscommunication.
I am willing to bet that the GM miscommunicated this line:
>"that restores Hitpoints and doesn't say it heals illness."
In such a way that it came across to the player as "That restores people who are low on hit points, but it does not heal illnesses on its own."
This is why the player might have wanted to reduce the HP of the NPC before using Healing Word.
Besides:
>cleric rolls a STR check to knock her out to zero hit points.
This would have been an attack, not a Strength check.
>>46940136
Should have used his Dagger of Healing instead.
>>46939804
Let's be honest - would it be in any way as good a story if it was explained, calmly and rationally, the faults and errors on each side and the misinterpretations and miscommunications they suffered?
>>46940136
Bbbbut hitpoints are the entire RPG formulation for health, right?
Seriously some people
>>46940180
Depending on how new the PCs are, what hitpoints represent is a game mechanic, not a part of the story. I don't think its unfair to suggest that at least in more advanced groups, the burden to understand the relationship between gameplay mechanics and the universe is on the players, not the GM.
>Running Pathfinder campaign.
>PC's discover a Lich sealed in an underground magic prison, and have been asked to reset the wards to make sure he stays there.
>PC's approach his prison cell, deep underground.
>Large stone doors covered in warning that read 'do not open' in a variety of different languages.
>Magus PC gets to work setting the wards.
>Cavalier says "I open the door".
>A few seconds of incredulity pass.
>I carry on and detail what happens.
>Doors open, magic wards are disrupted fully, Lich escapes, campaign has new BBEG
Worked out well in the end. Most successful campaign I've ever run.
>>46939819
What...what he thought would happen?
>>46940180
Or the player could have bothered to read what his character's power did before trying to use it. Like a real person.
>>46927910
>What's the stupidest thing you've had a player say during a campaign?
The four buddies I used to play with in Highschool only ever had the most basic understanding of the game and how their characters functioned.
After years of their retarded shit all four of them stated:
>Why should we have to buy or even read the PHB? You're the DM. You should know how my character plays!
>>46940180
Regardless of what could have been miscommunicated, the DM communicated firstly that he should roll a Medicine check. There's no way to misinterpret that. That request was just ignored.
It really isn't the DM's fault he chose to ignore the DM's request. And opted to punch a sick lady out in order to try restoring her Hitpoints.
Wizard turned his familiar into a dragon. Duplicated his familiar. Turned the monk into a dragon.
It was a shitstorm and the wizard's turns were like 15-20 minutes each.
>PCs on the run from the law
>PCs all get disguises to sneak out of the city
>Except one
>Lone PC flips his collar and messes up his hair
>The obvious happens
>>46941414
The guards let him go because he was too cool?
>GMing Pathfinder
>tell players that third-party content is allowed and encouraged
>specifically recommend Path of War
>they don't even look at it
>play fighter, rogue and monk instead
>>46942278
Okay?
That's the player's choice. Especially if they're new to Pathfinder, they might not want to use third-party content, or maybe they just prefer the standard classes.
>>46943000
Nooo you missed the stupid part of the story:
>GMing Pathfinder
>>46927910
>Players sneak into BBG's mansion
>Decide to steal everything that isn't nailed down
>Can't lift the grand piano
>Rest in the house in order to prepare spells for transporting more goods
>Rest in the BBG's bed because its "the most comfortable"
>BBG gets home
>>46940007
Female but cursed to be insatiably hungry. Bard managed to keep a relationship going with her till she got hungry and ate him, after which he got incorporated into her, body and soul in a nightmarish eternal suffering.
My Dark Heresy group is so stupid it drove me to drinking.
>>46943637
Stories, zoggit, we need s t o r i e s
>>46943618
That's very, very odd. Is it part of your Magical Realm?
>>46927910
>Players set out in the forest to find a friend
>Everything's going fine and dandy
>Get to the forest, see one of the pale zombie shitters in our campaign outside for some reason
>Kill it, continue in the forest
>Come upon a hole with possessed armor, and two of those zombie shitters
>Two of the Dwarves want to just stab it with their pikes for exp
>Group carries on
>Runs into another one of the armors, and more zombies.
>Group kills all of the zombies, monk pushes the other armor in the hole while dwarf#1 was stabbing the shit out of it.
>Now the hole has two armors
>Both dwarves want to keep poking the armors for exp.
>Group carries on instead
>Soon find missing friend
>With two other possessed armors
>Turned out he was possessed or something, DM never said
>Fight for a few hours, eventually kill all of them
>Its now night time
>Those pale zombie fuckers are wandering the overworld now
>ohshit.jpeg
>Group books it for the wagon, and starts driving
>dwarf#1 says to light the forest on fire
>ranger with 40-something flasks of oil says no
>keep going
>pale fuckers everywhere
>literally pass hundreds of them
>eventually make it to some temple
>completely surrounded by the pale fucks aside from the temple
>Group goes in the temple
>Dwarf#1 says to light the door on fire so they can't follow us
>Again, everyone passes it off as if it were nothing
>Go down into the temple
>Find another old friend's mangled corpse pinned up on the wall
>Group turns on itself
>Everyone's about to kill eachother
>Hear the sound of metal clinking from the entrance
>Those two armors from the hole are back
>With hundreds of pale fuckers
>Whole group is injured
>Only options now are fight to the death, or walk into their trap.
>We should have listened to the dwarves.
>>46945391
Wow.
>>46945391
I hope you bastards get tpk'd. The lost dude also happens to be the Ranger's husbando who wandered into the forests to die. Anything bad that happens to you folks is on you now.
t. a player in the same campaign
>>46940272
But... why?
>>46946417
Fuck you, Heijndrick
Thx for posting in the discord, though.
>>46940272
Making the characters responsible for their goal is the best! They were all in on it, they all know what happened, they made the mess and now they have to fix it!
I wonder if this would ever work with arcane PCs accidentally creating The Blob.
>>46946649
That place is a death-trap and the gm let you know it.
That ranger deserves it for splashing acid in my dude's face anyways.
>>46938426
I just have to ask...
since the wizard was doing something particularly stupid, would he have properly reached the beak on a successful jump check and what would have been the results of a botched check?
>GMing PF
>Raiding a thieve's guild hideout because they are terrorists
>Find a crate of "bombs" that have been designed to explode on contact with fire and nothing else
>Ask if the alchemist wants to check em
>"Nah, too much trouble"
>Ok then
>They come across the big fight with the local leader and his goonies inside a giant room planning their evil terrorist plans
>The players think of the smart idea of lighting the fuses (which there are none) of the bombs and shove a knocked out guard with em into the room for irony's sake
>Ask them several times if they want to inspect the bombs, including outright saying that there are no fuses
>"we seen timed bombs without fuses" and "Nah, takes too long" the adrenaline hungry bastards
>Now with a knocked out guy wearing the, as we dubbed it, "Traditional Afghan Funeral Vest" they rush in and light the fuses
>TPK
>I push a little card i had made about the bombs, including a rather well written part on how they work and their purposes
>Highlighting the "DC 15 to discover the trigger of the bombs"
>Then i pointed out how a several times asked if they wanted to check the bombs in greater detail
>Still my fault that i didn't outright tell them this when they found because their alchemist is just that good at alchemy that he should know what they are
>At level 2
Yeap, my fault clearly.
>Playing good old AD&D
>Group of complete newbies with me as GM
>They are currently level 1 and do ghting a bunch of lizardmen.
>They kill the lizardmen and begin to try to loot for the silver pendants they found on earlier lizardmen.
>A swarm of 2-3ft long lizards are obviously seen coming for the players
>The fighter decides to keep trying to grab the necklace
>Fails a Roll-under-DEX check to grab the necklace
>Gets bit by a lizard
>Tries to hit the lizard with a sword
>Fails.
>Gets killed by the lizard
>>46947016
This is just PF players in general though. Its DnD, but EVEN MORE casual.
We stopped a game for nearly twenty minutes while three of the four players started a conversation about chicken breeds and which ones were available at the market. Eventually, after many Google image searches and behavioral portfolios on different breeds, they decided to buy a few silkies for eggs. Pic related
>>46948005
I like your players.
>>46948005
Silkies are so goddamn adorable. I've owned two, one white one and one black one. They can't fly for shit but their feathers are soft and fluffy.
>>46948005
Silkies are so fucking majestic.
>>46943468
And also was the bbeg actually three bears, each larger than the other?
>>46948005
Why. Why would you argue for TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES over something so forgettable and minor as CHICKEN BREEDS in a MAKE BELIEVE GAME.
>>46948005
>>46948437
Those are fucking chickens? Okay, I have now found the steed that my eccentric spellslinger will ride!
>>46949295
the Silken Chocobo?
>>46927910
They literally had their character randomly commit suicide because they wanted to play a different class.
>>46934268
Dude you're a shit GM.
>>46949610
Eh, depends on if the world is lethal or not.
I would've just thrown them way off-chart, and maybe make the PCs roll wisdom saves for getting their brains fucked by a way-too-fucking-powerful discharge of magical energy right on top of them.
>>46934431
Sounds like you just got Chrono Cross'd by an asshole GM.
>>46949610
I remember seeing him tell this story multiple times before.
Apparently the magic system had been well established to require just the right amount of magic, and they had a better sized power source for it in the tower.
>>46945391
Reminds me of this. Not /tg/, but I think you'll see how relevant it is to the thread.
>>46934048
Both because fairness!
>playing Pathfinder last summer
>first time playing with this group and Pathfinder
>roll up a half orc barb
>not long into the session we come across a giant enemy crab that springs up out of a river we are trying to cross and starts attacking us instantly
>three rounds of combat pass and no one can so much as scratch the thing
>try and lure it out of the water, set a trap
>get some pretty dank rolls but my cleaves just bounce off
>finally the monk literally flips it onto it's back and we attack for maximum damage
>kill it, carve it up and eat it
>find a bridge crossing just around bend down the river
>"wtf"
>before even deciding to cross we had sent out out rogue to scout for a crossing and had found nothing
>DM claimed he didn't roll high enough to find the bridge
Never played with that railroading shitlord ever again
>>46950868
Holy fuck how have I never seen this before?
>>46951425
I mean, it's dumb as shit that you couldn't find a very noticeable bridge by default, but wasn't fighting the giant crab more fun anyway? Why are you so irrationally angry? He would have just had the crab attack you on the bridge, if anything. What real difference does it make, and why couldn't you just ask the DM to dial it back in a mature fashion?
>>46957067
>combat in Pathfinder
>fun
Pick one and only one.
>Playing Deadlands
>first time player (call Jake) rolls up mysterious Comanche shaman, doesn't talk much, has a hawk
>go through first adventure mostly fine, Jake tries to start shit with another player, other player pulls a gun, both get talked down by third player
>Second adventure
>players investigating disappearances in small town
>go to Mayor's house to try to figure out the goings on
>Jake say he sneaks up stairs while rest of the party goes to the parlor to talk to the Mayor and Sheriff
>Jake sneaks past the maid into the mayor's study
>finds a whole bunch of books, papers, maps, all strewn across bookshelves and a desk
>look through desk, finds 'a book with a symbol on the front'
>I don't even pull out a paper do draw the thingGMing by the seat of my pants, sue me
>"I grab the book and the papers and jump out the window"
>ruin whatever conversation was going on in the parlor
>it all works out in the end, get info from book (journal), continue adventure
>probably gonna take him aside next time to talk about making his next character a team player
>maybe take the impulsive and stubborn hindrances too so he can get chips for playing himself
>>46957640
He couldn't even read anyways, I have no idea why he was searching. What was he hoping to find, baby skulls to incriminate the mayor?
Pretty weak sauce for this thread, I'm new to GMing
>>46927910
One of my players got high before playing. The result was a druid with 18 wisdom warning a kobold that there was a trap in front of the kobold. The kobold was the one who placed the trap.
>>46957067
why couldn't the crab attack them on the bridge if the DM wanted a crab fight he didn't have to hide the bridge.
I've told this story before, and to be fair it's just one guy's extreme stupidity, but:
>Real low level party, DnD 3.0
>Traveling from point A to point B
>Set up watches so we don't get killed by something in our sleep.
>Fighter on watch
>Hears something rustling in the bushes.
>Decides that he wants to leave us sleeping to go investigate it
>Cue in one of our players pretending to snore loudly and the DM asking "Are you SURE you want to do that?"
>To his credit, fighter's player reccognizes the DM tone of "you shouldn't be doing this".
>Thinks for a moment
>Brightens up
>If I go crashing around in the brush with my armor on, they'll be sure to hear me. I take it off first before going to look for what caused it.
I think it's the only time I've supported a DM statement of "Your character won't do that".
>Fighter gives obviously evil sorcerer the McGuffin
>after we backtrack a few days and kill the fucker, the fighter then tries to give the McGuffin back to the god that forged it
>when he hears what that will do, he just throws it in a lake instead>he didn't use the mcguffin to kill the mountain-sized dragon first
>>46957067
>>46958704
He mentioned that the crab attacked us specifically due to the manner in which we crossed the river, implying that it wouldn't have attacked us at the bridge. At that point why even mention the bridge after the fact? And the seemingly undue anger stems from the rest of the session.
>>46940435
Our paladin had an idea to mount a horse and to hold our ranger in one hand - to dangle 20cm above ground so he can track faster.
She was serious, and when we explained that will not work and will look silly, we all had a nice laugh.
My party is nice :3
>>46948437
Tha japanise strain is imo better looking. They are a bit more silky then fluffy... but looking at my silkyes, i think its the different name for the same thing.
>>46927910
"I teleport into the dragon's mouth"
Yeah, no more whisky for you tonight sonny.
>>46940189
let me simplify it for you.
yes, you are healthy
but, you are still poisoned/ill and will become unhealthy again in some time
got it?
>>46927910
i once had a cavalier try to scare zombies by bluffing that he was a mean dragon and impersonating a beholder statue while out of sight.
>>46938792
A skinner box will randomly reward you
the electrified box obviously wasn't going to
that player is straight up retarded
>World of Darkness
>Human PCs get held hostage by a pack of werewolves
>Manage to escape, werewolves get pissed and chased
>PCs dive into boat and frantically paddle to safety
>Player declares he's going to jump overboard
>wat
>"I'm going to attack the werewolves!"
>You're fucking unarmed
>"I have a silver ring!"
>They're FUCKING WEREWOLVES you stand absolutely no chance
>"They insulted my honour!"
>Player swims back to shore, attempts to punch werewolf
>Werewolf rips his arm off
>PC meets fate worse than death
>Goddamn stupid fucking players
>>46965873
Epic...simply epic.
He should have issued a challenge to the Alpha first though.
>Adventuring in a dungeon
>Scout out an enemy wizard before he sees us
>We dimension door into his face and kill him before he can do anything
>Next room is a Nalfeshnee
>All evidence points out that its a planar bound creature with weeks in its contract
>Our caster speaks abyssal and likes to bind outsiders himself
>Offers to send the Nalfeshnee back to its plane in exchange for information regarding the rest of the dungeon
>Passes his diplo check and receives detailed information
>"Be careful around the pool, its dangerous." were its literal last words before we dismiss it.
>Rogue takes point
>See pool
>Literally flies over pool
>Gets his soul drained
>Retard gets mad at DM and say "I have trapfinding"
>Everyone sighs as it is explained to him (for probably the 100th time) about the difference between trap finding and environmental hazards.
>The very same rogue thinks invisibility grants him invincibility
>Literally always wants to stand behind bosses before the fight starts
>Almost always fails to realizes that most monsters have shit like blindsense,lifesense or at the very least, scent at this level.
>>46959524
Well,don't leave us hanging
How about a stupid GM story?
>Semi-homebrew WoD game, players are spirits that possess stuff (One can possess inanimate objects, the other can possess people).
>Each night, they arrive in an area at the bidding of some shadowy master and are given an objective to achieve.
>Tonight, there is a semi-public meeting between several bigwigs, they must cause as much disruption in the meeting as they can.
I assumed they would either kill everyone to cut off the normal leaders attempting to figure out what was happening in town or somehow possess someone and pass off an extended social check to disrupt their plans.
>Players arrive on scene as incorporeal beings undetectable by normal people.
>Snooping around, no one has any ideas while gathering the layout of the area and the people around.
>This continues for an hour or so, various things are tried, most of which is ineffective and does nothing but cause suspicion.
>Have a rule where the longer the players take and the more actions they do, the faster a team of hunters is alerted to them.
>Hunters are on their way, so one of them takes a last ditch effort to directly possess a guy who's talking in the big meeting room.
>Subject switches from disturbances at the marina to detailed recipes for the Colonel's Kentucky Fried Chicken.
>Hunter team is setting up a perimeter and ready to breech, catching the possessing player in the act.
>Player decides to respond by dispossessing and using his incorporeal form to escape just as armed, rag-tag guys bust in with guns.
>Players escape, hunters arrested, meeting adjourned and moved to another date all because I forgot the players' forms were incorporeal.
So then I was in a bind that they not only managed to salvage the night, but also eliminate a kill team by framing them. Thankfully that was my only massive fuckup throughout that campaign.
>>46965873
Sounds like he just wanted an excuse to roll another character or something.
>>46927910
Game about space pirates
>dock at friendly space station
>learn that rations the quartermaster had called ahead for are being held up
>competitor bought out their vendor, wants more money before they give them the food
>quartermaster asks PCs to get their supplies by whatever it takes
>PCs leave behind the PC that specializes in hacking, stealth and other espionage stuff
>space station is fuckhuge, orbital habitat
>they rent a truck to bring back the food with
>they use their real IDs to rent it
>wear masks while driving to warehouse
>park in front of warehouse, on the street
>get out and see some station security cameras
>"well they've already seen us so masks don't matter anymore"
>take off masks
>one PC climbs up and disables a camera while passers-by watch
>break into warehouse, see more cameras
>break into warehouse office, more cameras
>smash cameras and plant an EMP by the computer, assuming station security files will be stored in random unguarded warehouse
>go look for supplies, get jumped by mutant plant man
>get slapped around by plant man (was intended to annoyingly tough to kill but also had some awesome rolls)
>decide to flee without getting supplies
>steal warehouse truck as getaway vehicle
>one PC attempts to use telekinetic powers to drive the rented truck from the stolen truck so they don't lose it
>drives it into a storefront
>PCs pull over stolen truck behind other buildings and attempt to hide under a dumpster
>use random teleport device to evade security closing in
>PCs get sent to different locations all over the station
>one in a holding cell with female battletoad, one inside a 50 gallon drum, and another lands in an alien's living room
>espionage PC left behind has seen it all on cameras she hacked, and informs the captain, runs interference until the Captain can work out something with station officials to cut them some slack
1/2
>>46969925
2/2
>PC with battletoad gets lots of slimy hugs and sob story about accidental property damage, needs a shower or ten
>PC in drum nearly gets shipped across the galaxy
>PC in living room meets jive talking dominatrix who thinks he's cute and while she does nothing to him, he gets to hear and see a lot of things that probably require therapy later
>Station manager agrees to forgive it all... if they do a little black ops favor for him
>favor is data recovery from lost biotech station
>PCs poke at mutant abominations that fuse flesh and plant matter to see if they're aggressive
>no thought given to being infectious
>espionage PC abandoned them in favor of surviving
>became the only survivor
>>46927910
I had a guy stand in front of an oncoming Indiana Jones boulder because he thought it was an illusion.
He thought I might be lying when I told him it was not.
Once had a player character try to 1v1 a displacer beast at level 5, as a bard. The only reason he didn't die was because the rest of the party found him half-dead under a tree with the displacer beast right there.
>>46938596
>playing Pathfinder
>wondering why your game is shit
>>46938654
>party has Paladin and Assassin on the same team
In the first ever RPG campaign I ever ran there were some... missteps.
>party finally reaches a major city after exterminating some cultists
>the party splits up to have some R&R
>after some wenching/prayer/eating players start doing more constructive things, minor jobs and charity
>meanwhile, a small skirmish with some lizardmen is taking place at the southern city walls
>some of the players decide to help
>along with some help from city guards a beastman melee psi NPC is helping fight
>the Ranger, Fighter and Mage make short work of the lizardmen
>they decide to kill the beastman because "beastfolk are always evil"
>"The guards see you assault your ally and loose arrows"
>panic
>Mage uses magic to try to convince the guards they were not involved
>High roll
>party shaman had arrived just in time to see them kill the beastman
>Ranger takes the dead body into the woods, skins it
>Shaman attempting to break the guards out of their hypnotic trance
>Ranger later arrives wearing the beastman skinsuit and attempts to deceive the guards into thinking it is the beastman for reals
They later felt guilty and debated sending the skin to it's beastfamily as a "sorry".
>>46969356
>Players escape, hunters arrested, meeting adjourned and moved to another date all because I forgot the players' forms were incorporeal.
honestly, sounds like it was an awesome session for the players
>>46945292
I don't know about that anon but it is mine.
>>46965873
> STUPID SEXY AWESOME PLAYERS
>>46972920
Reminds me a bit of in Breaking Bad, when Jessie feels bad about the kid they killed and dissolved, so he tries to give his share of the money to the kid's family who still thinks he's missing, only for everyone to point out that if two million dollars show up on their doorstep, that's going to raise some extremely serious questions.
>>46938525
Kek.
>>46940180
>>46939804
Judging by your posting and image fagging I'm gonna go ahead and label you a mongoloid worthy of being added to the purging lists, and probably guilty of doing enough stupid shit in settings because you were too busy doodling lamia dicks or something to listen/read/comprehend basic instructions.
>>46948437
Jesus fuck that bird is stylen as fuck.
>>46978121
Please no rude.
>>46927910
Besides showing up in her domain BY CHOICE, he considered a deal with the goddess of evil and chaos and is (likely) expecting her to hold to it.
Admittedly, it's the end of the campaign, so repercussions are basically moot at this point, but if he pulls it off, the other campaign I have in the setting is going to flip the fuck out once they find out what he did and to who.
>>46938401
Unlike a lot of other games, which are when all's said and done basically Diablo fight'n'looters, Shadowrun is a bank job simulator. That means that there's supposed to be a lot of planning going in to each run, roles assigned and meticulous research of the target. However, at least at first, a lot of players I've met and heard of try and play it as a dungeon run and fail hard.
>>46938456
>So I sat down, looked up some epidemiology online, and eventually calculated that my PCs managed to wipe out around 2% of the world's population over the next 12 months.
Holy fuck.
>>46978770
Any really good fuckups?
>>46978955
Ask again in a few months, I'm putting together a campaign for it now.
>>46934785
Which one? There are a bunch of phylactery stories.
>>46946417
>>46946649
>>46946785
