Your name is JACK NOIR.
A series of HIJINKS and MURDERS in MARKET ROW have lead you into an EXHAUST VENT, in an attempt to follow the blood trail of a VANISHING BODY.
You are currently clinging to a LADDER as smoke billows in warm clouds behind your back. You have no idea how far down this thing goes. There is a VENT to your RIGHT SIDE.
What will you do?
[PRIMARY QUEST: Find CLUB A13 and speak to your DRIVER]
[SECONDARY QUEST: Acquire KNIVES and GANG]
OLD THREAD: >>46844074
Your INVENTORY:
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST
>64 DOLLARS
>1x MAKESHIFT SHIV (metal)
>1x ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH
>1x LONG CLOTH STRIP
>1x LOCKBOX
>1x LOCKPICK KIT
>1x BLOODY APRON
>1x BOTTLE OF DRAGONFRUIT POWERADE
>1x CAN OF BROWN PAINT
>3x BLOODY FLUFF MOUNDS (flammable)
>2x TOOTH HALVES
>2x MEDIUM SCRAP PIECES
>>46864644
Jack: DESCEND.
>>46864644
Punch the vent in the snout to establish superiority.
Or just examine it.
>>46864749
You continue to DESCEND.
You have reached a CATWALK. You can also proceed FURTHER DOWNWARDS.
>>46864765
You revert to ASCENDING.
After firmly establishing your dominance, you see the VENT is fastened by four screws .You can probably CRAWL AROUND IN IT.
>>46864811
Use lockpicking tools to unscrew the vent and crawl into it.
>>46864852
You open the LOCKPICK KIT and use it to unscrew the VENT.
Son of a fuck you just dropped the LOCKPICKING KIT. How do you have butterfingers with a METAL HAND? Honestly.
The VENT has been opened.
>>46864887
Listen for the sound of the LOCKPICKING KIT hitting the ground to judge how far down the ladder goes. Then enter the vent.
>>46864887
>Jack: Enter the vent, curl up within the confined quarters, and masturbate furiously while your position aids in your reach
>>46864938
You listen for a good minute. Then another. And another.
Yeah nope this isn't happening.
You enter the VENT, which has enough room to CRAWL ON ALL FOURS. Heading forwards, you come to a BEND going LEFT and RIGHT.
>>46864965
The loss of your dear LOCKPICK KIT has thoroughly extinguished your SEX DRIVE!
>>46864993
Stab the air around you wildly until your arm is tired and go in whatever direction your blade ends up pointing.
>>46865037
You flail around ferociously. You don't think you could EVER get tired of stabbing, so you just wait until you accidentally STAB A WALL OR SOMETHING.
You scratch the LEFT SIDE, so you proceed that way.
You hear TALKING. Looking through a vent on the bottom you see a PROSPITIAN on some kind of DEVICE, babbling about SPORT BALL. He is wearing an odd uniform.
>>46865100
Time to MULTITASK. Look around whatever parts of the room you can see from the vent, and EAVESDROP on his conversation simultaneously.
>>46865163
You peer around the ROOM.
Judging from the FOLDING CHAIRS, COFFEE MACHINE and MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS this must be some kind of EMPLOYEE LOUNGE.
The conversation goes something like blah blah SPORT HOOP blah blah TOUCHDOWN blah blah DRAFT PICKS. You don't understand a lick of it.
>>46865206
Drop ONE DOLLAR down the vent, and when the prospitian goes to check it out, ATTACK FROM ABOVE
>>46865234
Wait until he's done with his conversation first, so as not to alarm whoever is on the other end.
Of course if it's taking too long, then just say fuck it and show him your stabs.
>>46865234
You drop a DOLLAR BILL down the vent.
The PROSPITIAN thinks its his lucky day. Think again chump. BOOYAH! You DIVEKICK the sucker, knocking him onto the floor like a SACK OF POTATOES.
>>46865265
Damn it you didn't think this through, someone on the OTHER LINE sounds alarmed.
>>46865294
Do your best impression of the KO'd Prospitian in an attempt to prevent further investigation.
Pretend to be the prospitans and act like nothing happened.
>>46865338
You snatch the DEVICE from the floor and babble something about HOOP JAMS before hitting the BIG RED OFF? BUTTON. Luckily for you it DISCONNECTS.
The PROSPITIAN is slowly getting back up, stunned.
>>46865370
Ask the prospitian where the A13 Club is.
Regardless of his answer, you have a little friend to introduce him to.
>>46865405
Bearing your SHANK, you demand the location of CLUB A13.
The PROSPITIAN blinks. Oh sure, he says, just head down to floor-
You slit his throat. Damn it!
>>46865529
Try to figure out what floor you're on. Are there any signs, or a window that you could look out of?
>>46865529
The way he said that implied that it might be in this very building. For now, steal his phone, and look for a place to dump the body.
>>46865589
You look around the ROOM.
Aside from some before-mentioned POSTERS, there is a MAP on the wall showcasing the FACILITY. You appear to have made it into the THIRD LEVEL of the DISTRICT, the MANUFACTURING ZONE, and are located on FLOOR D.
>>46865627
You steal his PHONE.
It is so MODERN that you can hardly handle it.
You look around for a place to dump the body, but find only a BROOM CLOSET. You also see a CAMERA in one corner that has been watching you.
>>46866161
Use the dead PROSPITIAN's blood to cover the camera's lens, and then try to head for FLOOR A and look for a room numbered 13 there.
But remember to give the camera a parting stab on the way out.
>>46866234
You smear the CAMERA with some blood, and give it a good shanking for good measure. You made sure to flip it off before the last part.
You head outside onto a LONG CATWALK and search for some stairs. After passing by a few WORKERS, who mostly just GLANCE NERVOUSLY at you. You ascend to FLOOR A.
A COP stands nearby, surveying the area.
>>46866362
Look for a locker room or something, if you can steal a worker's uniform it would be a lot less suspicious than running around in the HELP shirt.
>>46866446
Avoiding the COP, you traipse around the CATWALK until you find a room with some STEAM trailing under the door. You enter.
You've found a LOCKER ROOM. Someone is in the SHOWER off to the side and a DERSITE sits drinking from a thermos.
>>46866545
Take care of the DERSITE and then reenact the shower scene from Psycho.
Afterwards, clean up and take clothing.
>>46866545
Look to see if there's a uniform with an "A" on it anywhere. It would sure suck to go through all the trouble of stealing one only to be caught because you're wearing an F level outfit on Floor A.
>>46866753
After SHANKING the DERSITE in his vital organs, you proceed to the SHOWER.
You have never seen PSYCHO, so you just bash the POOR SUCKER'S BRAINS IN ON THE WALL. You hope you were SCREEN ACCURATE.
You return to the DERSITE and equip his UNIFORM. Its a little BLOODY, but it will do. You put your GARISH DUDELOOK back into your INVENTORY.
>>46866860
You then realize it would be FOOLISH to be caught wearing the wrong uniform! You hastily CORRECT THIS ERROR with a little BLOOD.
Perfect.
>>46866998
Try and fail to ponder the meaning of all this.
>>46867057
You FAIL SPECTACULARLY.
>>46866998
Your CUNNING DISGUISE completed, search Floor A for room 13. Ask around if necessary.
>>46867138
Heading back OUTSIDE, you find the rooms are indeed NUMBERED. You head over past the COP to ROOM 13.
You find it to be RATHER DESERTED and DUSTY, save for a TABLE with a NOTE on it.
It reads:
>Club A13 has moved due to being TOO OBVIOUSLY LOCATED! We're sorry for the inconvenience. Bring this coupon for a free plate of hot wings!
>>46867204
Build a fort with the table and imagine up a hat to throw on the ground in disgust.
Then look around the room for more clues.
>>46867204
STAB the note in unbridled fury and then lament the loss of hot wings.
Roll for MANGRIT to also FLIP THE TABLE.
SHANKS FOR NOTHING.
>>46867267
You hide under the table, using it as a MAKESHIFT FORT, and use your powers of imagination to SUMMON UP A HAT.
Alas, you are TOO SOBER.
>>46867274
You take your frustration out on the NOTE, shredding it, and shed a tear for the LOST WINGS.
Your MANGRIT LEVELS off the charts, you flip the table into the wall, where it promptly BUSTS APART.
Looking about you can only find a a few BUBBLEGUM WRAPPERS.
>>46867365
Examine wrappers for painfully unfunny comics.
>>46867393
ORANGE YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T SAY BANANA?
Your METAL FIST leaves a HOLE IN THE WALL. You don't even know what a BANANA is but that still pissed you off.
>>46867365
Contemplate asking the copsteed for directions.
>>46867423
Look through the hole in the wall to see what is on the other side.
>>46867476
You see a DERSITE watching EXOTIC CARTOONS.
You try to forget this instantly.
>>46867461
You head back out to the CATWALK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTDYa71BPmc
Heading back over to the COP, you decide to ask him for some DIRECTIONS.
Of course he says, how can he assist you?
>>46867539
Ask him where you can get some wings around here.
Don't let on about Club A-13 just in case it would arouse suspicion.
>>46867539
Pee through the WALL HOLE into the room with the DERSITE WITH SHIT TASTE
>>46867539
Suddenly remember you used to wield a cast iron horse hitcher, and begin to fondly miss it.
>>46867611
You ask the COP where you can grab some HOT WINGS.
He recommends you try NOTHIN' BUT A WANG located on the SECOND LEVEL.
>>46867638
You have no recollection of any such DERSITE, damn it.
>>46867638
HORSE HITCHER? You don't recall any such HORSE HITCHER.
>>46867722
Ask him about the locations of any other HOT WING ESTABLISHMENTS. Claim that you are new around here, and you'd like to compare the the taste of the hot wings from various restaurants.
>>46867808
After establishing that you are A HUMBLE TOURIST, you ask the COP about further HOT WING ESTABLISHMENTS where you may possibly GET YOUR GRUB ON.
After running an online search algorithm, he concludes that you may find luck at both PETE'S COCK EMPORIUM and THE BUTT DESTROYER, located on the SECOND LEVEL
You are beginning to feel as though this COP is USELESS.
>>46867928
Head to the second level, keeping an eye out for trails of blood. You're still hunting that coffinstuffer barkeep.
>>46867928
Since they are all on the 2nd level we can try them until we find the right one.
Start with NOTHIN' BUT A WANG. Although the owner of that fine establishment seems to lack basic spelling abilities that even freshly cloned chess people have, there's not much else to go on.
>>46867984
>>46867991
Thanking the COP for NOTHING, you wander about the CATWALK until you find a SERVICE ELEVATOR. You press into an elevator full of CIVILIANS, some of whom eye your BLOODY GARMENTS, but are not bothered until you reach the SECOND LEVEL.
You walk out onto a different side of MARKET ROW. You threaten a PASSERBY into giving you directions, and head on into NOTHIN' BUT A WANG.
The shopkeep asks you wassup.
>>46868084
Press the wangkeeper for where she keeps the wangs. Ask for the biggest pair of wangs she has.
>>46868167
You LEER over the counter, demanding the BIGGEST WANGS SHE'S GOT.
She seems nonplussed. You want the SUPREME WANGS then, homeboy?
>>46868218
"Purchase" 3 orders of SUPREME WANGS
>>46868291
You order 3 helpings of SUPREME WANGS.
She yells back into the KITCHEN your order then rings you up. That'll be THIRTY BUCKS she says.
>>46868218
Say sure, then pretend to notice something outside. While she's distracted, hastily reassembled the coupon on the countertop, and maybe shank her.
>>46868335
No way in hell you're paying that much, but you can't just stab her now and expect to still receive your HOT WINGS. Buy some time by asking if NBAW has any especially troublesome competition.
>>46868385
You VAGUELY REMEMBER someone named BILL COSBY and say you see him OUTSIDE. She asks who the hell that is and peers outthe door.
You reassemble the COUPON using SPIT FOR GLUE.
>>46868402
When she has FAILED to find any COSBY, she looks back over to you and takes your coupon. She reads it, frowning. You ask if she has any COMPETITION these days.
She looks rather ANGRY. She wonders if you're threatening her, and if so wonders why its the THIRD TIME THIS WEEK. She's not going to usurp your stupid little BAR FOOD ENTERPRISE or anything, just leave her alone.
>>46868492
This dame is starting to get a little hysterical.
Tell her to calm down, then ask her who showed up the first two times.
>>46868492
Show her the envelope and note, see if that jogs more specific memories
>>46868542
When you ask about her HYSTERICS, the SHOPKEEP sighs and pushes back the coupon. She's sorry, she thought you were SOMEONE ELSE. The guys from the CLUB have coming around here and making VAGUE THREATS, seeing as NBAW is top of the HOT WING BUSINESS in the ROW.
>>46868601
Tell her you could take care of the guys from the CLUB if she tells you its location.
>>46868601
Ask about the location of the club, claim it is so you can rough up whoever would carry out such UNETHICAL BUSINESS PRACTICES
>>46868653
>>46868677
You ask for the LOCATION OF THE CLUB so you can teach those idiots a lesson in PROPER MANAGEMENT.
The shopkeep blinks, surprised, and smiles. You'd do that for her? You'd need to hit up the CORRIDOR, which is located on LEVEL 3. She knows you can find it based on the CLUB'S NAME... though she thought it was on A-13 as well. Maybe they switched it up?
>>46868754
Accept WINGS as payment in advance, and quickly make your way to the CORRIDOR.
>>46868858
You barter with the shopkeep, procuring the 3x SUPREME WINGS and a KISS ON THE CHEEK for your services in advance.
You make your way back to the elevator, down to LEVEL 3.
The COP is still there, and remarks that something smells delicious. You tell him to shut up.
Where will you go?
>>46868920
Back to the LOCKER ROOM. Jack B Quick, there's loot to (Probably) be had in those LOCKERS.
>>46868991
Or y'know, CLUES to be had, since you still need to find out where the hell CLUB A13 went.
>>46868920
ask the USELESS COP where the hell the CORRIDOR is
>>46868991
>>46869028
Returning to the LOCKER ROOM, you find only two UNLOCKED LOCKERS, which you find very fun to say. You step over the BODY and loot around.
You find one TERRIBLE HAT.
In the NEXT LOCKER you find a KEYCARD. It must've belonged to the guy in the shower, an EMPLOYEE D-37.
>>46869128
Wear the terrible hat. It will have to do.
>>46869128
BURN the terrible hat. This simply will not do.
>>46869128
save it to wear with your street clothes
>>46869172
You equip the TERRIBLE HAT after pocketing the KEYCARD.
>>46869247
It's too late.
>>46869100
You return to the USELESS COP and ask where the CORRIDOR is.
He says error: unauthorized query; not recognized.
>>46869284
Flip off the guard and look around for the corridor yourself.
>>46869342
You flip off the COP and walk off.
You vaguely remember a GUY YOU STABBED saying something about going DOWN, so you think you might want to try going in that direction.
>>46869406
Walk in a down-ish direction
>>46869489
You walk DOWNISH the nearest stairwell, as you listen to noise echo through the CITY'S CORE.
You have arrived on FLOOR D. D as in down.
>>46869406
PHASE through the floor like that one SUPERHERO in that COMIC RAG you read as a PETULANT OFFSPRING .
>>46869554
Look around, look around.
>>46869563
You attempt to PHASE THROUGH THE FLOOR.
A worker calls you a WEIRDO and walks over your writhing form.
>>46869579
It looks as mundane as the rest CATWALKS. The doors are NUMBERED similar to that of FLOOR A.
>>46869615
Brandish the ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH rather MENACINGLY and threaten to CLEAN THE WORKERSCLOCK.
>>46869650
You chase the WORKER down and grab him by the COLLAR, pushing your TOOTHBRUSH to his throat. You turn it on and it buzzes MENACINGLY.
He sighs and asks what the hell you want.
>>46869719
Ask about WHAT and WHERE that FUCKING CORRIDOR is. One of these jokers has to know.
>>46869750
You ask about the FUCKING CORRIDOR, growing tired of hunting for it.
Which corridor, he asks, there's only about a thousand of them genius. He then studies you carefully. Oh shit, you're JACK NOIR aren't you? Well damn you're going to stab him anyway, and you're probably asking about ILLEGAL STUFF, so you're going to want to look on FLOOR E.
>>46869823
Thank him for the info. By stabbing him.
>>46869823
As thanks, stab him anyway, but in a way that MIGHT not be fatal if he hurries to a doctor. Make your way to FLOOR E.
>>46869823
This UNDIGNIFIED WISEGUY should keep his hot opinions to himself, unless he wants to have his opinions all over the floor.
Cast the TOOTHBRUSH towards the funny guys RIGHT EYE and make him lead you to FLOOR E. Or wait, was it his left, or your right?
Fuck it. The guys one less eye regardless.
>>46869875
>>46869879
>>46869898
You stab the WISEGUY in the RIGHT EYE with your TOOTHBRUSH. He collapses on his knees in pain.
You hoist him up and tell him to lead the way to FLOOR E. He says its just down the stairs you asshole, aaah, shit. You tell him to zip it and push him along, and he staggers towards the stairs.
The two of you are now on FLOOR E. The WISEGUY is stunned and leaning against a nearby wall.
>>46870008
ASSAULT the WISEGUY'S leg, so should he run, he cannot. Because his LEG is BROKEN. You'll be damned before you lose your new WISEGUIDE.
Ba dum tss.
GAG at the HORRIBLE PUN your traitorous mind came up with and INVESTIGATE the CORRIDOR for ROOM 13.
>>46870008
Yell at your hostage about how you need to find a CLUB that sells HOT WINGS
>>46870078
>>46870096
Chuckling to yourself, you BREAK the WISEGUY'S leg with your CAN OF PAINT
He moans in pain. You tell him he's your new TOUR GUIDE, and you're gonna take him to ROOM 13 so you can get some HOT WINGS.
He hobbles over to the RIGHT, muttering under his breath, and you follow. The DOOR needs a KEY to open and he looks at you defiantly; a look that gets speedily erased when you swipe they KEYCARD you found and open the door.
You find a sole DERSITE operating a ROOM FULL OF PIPES. He looks surprised to see the two of you.
>>46870214
DEMAND that someone tells you the purpose of these MYSTERIOUS PIPES.
>>46870214
>>46870271
Pipes? What pipes? What you see is a ROOM FULL OF CLUBS.
It's no SET OF KNIVES, but hot damn, it'll do.
Roll for MANGRIT and acquire a BLUDGEONING TOOL.
>>46870271
Both the DERSITE and your NEW TOUR GUIDE tell you that these PIPES carry EXHAUST FUMES from the CITY's CORE out into PROCESSING FACILITIES, at the exact same time.
The DERSITE tells the TOUR GUIDE that he owes him a SODA, then sees he is bleeding from his eye and says oh my god. The TOUR GUIDE says he hates him.
>>46870305
You walk over to a PIPE and, using your EXCESSIVE MANGRIT, yank it off. It comes off in your METAL HAND and some EXHAUST spills out.
The DERSITE freaks out.
>>46870347
Tell the DERSITE to PIPE DOWN, haha. It's not like one pipe is going to ruin everything. Right? Right??
>>46870347
Tap the PIPE against your hand in a badass and menacing way, and ask the tour guide why the hell he thought it would be a good idea to take you to a room with no HOT WINGS. He is wasting your time.
>>46870415
You tell the DERSITE to LET OFF SOME STEAM.
You mean you beat him to death with the pipe.
>>46870420
Turning to the TOUR GUIDE, you insinuate your IMPATIENCE with a PIPE TAP and ask him why he's wasting your time.
He says he has no idea why you wanted to go in here, it's in the next room over.
>>46870474
SOCK the TOUR GUIDE in the face for expressing his UNBRIDLED SASS, and DRAG HIM WITH YOU to the room next over.
It's high time we found that DRIVER, goddamnit.
>>46870474
Rush to the NEXT ROOM OVER and KICK DOWN THE DOOR. For all you know they've changed locations again in the time this bozo has wasted LEADING YOU ASTRAY.
>>46870524
>>46870577
Your METAL FIST connects with the TOUR GUIDE, knocking out a TOOTH. You drag him by his GOOD FOOT out into the NEXT ROOM, E-14, which requires no keycard. You KICK IT DOWN ANYWAY.
A worker stands by a water cooler in a SMALL OFFICE. He asks what the hell is this, and the TOUR GUIDE cuts him short and tells him its JACK NOIR you moron, just open it up.
The WORKER, startled, presses the LUKEWARM WATER TAB.
The WALL PANEL slides off to the side, opening up into a DIMLY LIT CORRIDOR.
>>46870634
Collect tooth. You can never have too many.
>>46870664
You add another TOOTH to your GROWING COLLECTION.
The WORKER, smartly, has BEAT IT down the corridor. The TOUR GUIDE, on account of his BROKEN LEG, has not moved. He asks if you can just leave him alone.
>>46870778
Whatever. At this point he's just slowing you down anyway. Enter the DIMLY LIT CORRIDOR and sniff out THE CLUB FORMERLY KNOWN AS A-13.
>>46870852
In a RARE SHOWING OF MERCY you leave your TOUR GUIDE to grovel, and enter the CORRIDOR.
After stepping through the DARKNESS for some time you enter a COMPACT ALLEY, hidden within the walls of the FACILITY.
People are hawking their QUESTIONABLE GOODS everywhere you can see.
>>46870921
Examine the QUESTIONABLE GOODS
>>46870921
Straddle the BLOODIED PIPE like HORSE and do a little JIG in happiness.
Nearby Ne'erdowell: Ogle Vacantly at the tall, dark weirdo's shenanigans.
>>46871099
Feeling AT HOME, you ride that BLOODIED PIPE like a goddamn MANIC PONY.
A NE'ERDOWELL ogles at you vacantly, shrugs and is back to reading at his HOLOPAPER.
>>46871000
You investigate a nearby STALL, where an ANDROID is selling MELEE WEAPONS. He says he is willing to BUY and SELL all sorts of illegal contraband. In fact, Illegal Contraband is the name of the store! It's even HIS name!
He shows you his HIGHLIGHTS-
>Standard-Issue Knife- 30 dollars
>Butterfly Knife- 60 dollars
>Katana- 100 dollars
>Home Alone 3 on VHS- Barter Only!
>>46871129
Sell shiv, buy Standard knife.
>>46871186
You sell IC the METAL SHANK. He asks if you made it yourself, which you say you did. He says the rust was a nice touch. You could spread disease with that.
He gives you five dollars, making your total 69 DOLLARS.
You then buy the STANDARD KNIFE.
This brings your total to 39 DOLLARS.
>>46871234
test knife
Ask the honest salesman if he has knives for your knives.
>>46871252
>>46871234
On RANDOM PASSERBY.
Never mess with a guy who sells ILLEGAL CONTRABAND.
>>46871252
You test the BLADE on your CHITINOUS DIGITS. It SPARKS when you scrape it.
You commend IC on keeping it in good condition. He says not to mention it, everyone's buying KATANAS these days so a good KNIFE goes unappreciated.
>>46871305
>>46871252
You TEST YOUR NEW PURCHASE on a RANDOM PASSERBY.
It turns out to be the WORKER from the WATER COOLER, who staggers off into an alley crying.
Small world!
>>46871291
You ask ILLEGAL CONTRABAND if he has knives for your knives.
He says that unfortunately this is all he's got, though he KNOWS SOME PEOPLE if you ever want to COMMISSION HIM.
>>46871306
Ask about where you might find a HOT WING CLUB that MAY OR MAY NOT go by the name A-13.
>>46871306
Fuckin' weebs.
ASK IC where the nearest WATERING HOLE is. If there's any info to be found, the local BARKEEP is sure to have it.
>>46871398
>>46871373
You ask IC where you might find a WATERING HOLE where you can wet your whistle with some HOT WINGS.
IC scratches his rusty chin. Only place you're gonna find HOT WINGS around here is CLUB A-13 and that's down the CORRIDOR, on the right. They kind of have a monopoly on that.I sorely regret not making a sprite for IC now, we should head back to him sometime
>>46871457
Your spritework is amazing OP. Well, it's shitty...but it's supposed to be shitty. You know what I mean
>>46871457
Head DOWN THE CORRIDOR, and go TO THE RIGHT.
>>46871480
SBAHJ-mazing.
>>46871457
Say thanks, and head for CLUB A-13, making a mental note to try and RECRUIT IC to your currently nonexistent CREW next time you see him.
>>46871499
>>46871508
You thank the ANDROID, making a mental note on returning to his STAND in the UNFORSEEBALE FUTURE, and traipse down the CORRIDOR. You pass by all sorts of strange ALIENS and BEINGS you haven't seen before, which is ODD for a UNIVERSE-HOPPER like yourself.
You finally find CLUB A-13, as designated by its FLASHING SIGN. There is a long line to the door, and a BURLY DERSITE serving as a BOUNCER.
>>468714808^y
>>46871585
Trying to talk your way through this guy would be a waste of time. Squeeze a BLOODY FLUFF MOUND as hard as you can to SPRAY BLOOD IN HIS EYES.
>>46871648
You make your way to the FRONT OF THE LINE, much to the DISTRESS of the PATRONS.
The BURLY DERSITE inches for his FIREARM, asking where the hell you think YOU'RE going.
You beat him to the quick draw and SQUEEZE BLOOD into his eyes. He yells in confusion and swipes at you with the GUN, which DISCHARGES into a NEON SIGN behind you.
>>46871724
Quickly STAB the BURLY DERSITE with your STANDARD KNIFE.
36 times.
Gotta be thorough.
>>46871724
Swing at his arms with your PIPE to DISARM him, then TAKE his GUN.
>>46871825
stab him in the shape of a spade
Show him your brand new stabs
>>46871860
You swing your PIPE at his GUN ARM, which BREAKS IT AT THE MIDDLE. He yelps as the GUN flies out and across the CORRIDOR.
>>46871825
You proceed to break in your NEW KNIFE at a RAPID PACE, stabbing the BURLY DERSITE a whopping 36 times in the chest.
He collapses and makes a MESS on the pavement. You sidle over to retrieve the GUN, and then make your way into the NIGHTCLUB past the STUNNED CROWD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfg0a5cvQPU
You are immediately affronted by ELECTRIC NOISE. There is a large BAR to your left, and a number EXOTIC WOMEN dancing on POLES to your right.
You see a number of THUGS making their way towards the doors, so you may need to choose quickly.
>>46869719
Demand to knows who number two works for.
Head to the bar. Drinks and Answers always lurk in bars.
>>46871979
Inqurie how much for private dance
>>46871979
Quickly dive behind the bar to avoid confrontation.
HILARIOUSLY ENUNCIATE with RUDE GESTURES that you'll bribe the BARKEEP with 30 bucks if he keeps quiet about your whereabouts.
>>46871979
Shoot your gun into the air and demand that anyone who isn't a DRIVER and anyone who doesn't want to end up like the guy outside needs to GET THE HELL OUT.
>>46872053
Sidestepping the ARRAY OF THUGS you make your way to the BAR, stepping through the BUMPING THRONG.
To your surprise, a HUMAN WOMAN is manning the bar. You have not seen a HUMAN in a very long time.
>>46872091
A THUG is making his way towards the bar in SEARCH OF YOU, so you do a CRIME ROLL over the counter.
The barkeep looks at you in confusion. One of her eyes whirrs to ZOOM IN on you. She asks you what the hell you want.
You ENUNCIATE HYSTERICALLY your desire to REMAIN HIDDEN in exchange for MOOLAH.
She takes the money and IGNORES YOU.
>>46872163
Jack: Fail to consider the ramifications of your WANTON MURDERBONER.
>>46872163
inquire about wings and hit on the barkeep
>>46872229
You FAIL CONSIDERABLY.
>>46872231
You ask the BARKEEP if a FINE DAME like herself could procure you with some HOT WINGS.
She says yeah, they've got the finest bar food in the district, but usually you eat on the other side of the counter. She seems to have missed your compliment.
>>46872163
Examine the choice merch she has hidden behind the bar.
By which I mean take any shotguns you find back there.
>>46872350
Ask where you might find the owner of this fine establishment.
>>46872351
The only SHOTGUN you can see is the PUMP-ACTION holstered to her LEG.
>>46872375
She says you're looking at her, asshole.
She pulls a GUN from her other side and points it at your head. She tells you to get up.
>>46872417
stand up and order some wings
>>46872417
Do as she says for now, but keep an eye out for an opportunity to turn the tide in your favor.
>>46872501
>>46872526
You slowly stand up as the PISTOL follows your head. The BAR PATRONS pretend to take no heed of any of this.
You ask for your wings. She tells you you're a real riot, and then inches the gun at the BACKROOM DOOR.
>>46872567
Quickly whip your head to the door and exclaim "Holy shit!"
Then punch her with your robo hand.
>>46872567
Walk into the BACKROOM, and prepare for a fight.
>>46872567
Follow her instructions
>>46872608
You let out an EXCLAMATION at the IMAGINARY BEING, and using the WOMAN'S MOMENTARY FLINCH to PUNCH THE GUN STRAIGHT INTO HER HEAD.
She's knocked back, and the PISTOL shoots into the bar's ceiling. This alerts the THUGS inside the bar.
>>46872659
You take this time to ESCAPE INTO THE BACKROOM ANYWAY.
You have a few moments before any THUGS arrive.
You hear the CLICK of GUNS AT THE READY. You may want to check your INVENTORY.
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST
>2 DOLLARS
>1x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE
>1x ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH
>1x LONG CLOTH STRIP
>1x LOCKBOX
>1x BLOODY APRON
>1x BOTTLE OF DRAGONFRUIT POWERADE
>1x CAN OF BROWN PAINT
>2x BLOODY FLUFF MOUNDS (flammable)
>2x TOOTH HALVES
>1x PROSPITIAN TOOTH
>2x MEDIUM SCRAP PIECES
>>46872800
Didn't we take that gun off the bouncer?
>>46872800
And how could I forget
>1x BLOODY PIPE
>1x PISTOL (6 shots)
>>46872828
Thanks
>>46872800
Examine the room for anything that could provide a tactical advantage, and try to remember just how many THUGS you saw out there.
>>46872800
Look around the room for possible cover and exits
>>46872800
Ready gun in our good hand and pipe in our robo hand. Kick a table over for cover but hide to the side of the door.
Brain the first thug to come through with the pipe then dive for the cover.
>>46872800
ready the bottle of powerade for the purpose of causing assailants to vomit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGMwmY_RaRI
>>46872875
>>46872886
The room seems to be used mainly for STORAGE, with a variety of OLD FURNITURE and CRATES. The perfect place to INTERROGATE someone, which you think you just NARROWLY MISSED.
>>46872895
While you ruminate on this chance you hear the first thug coming. You kick over an OLD TABLE and wait.
He bursts in and begins firing into TABLE, and your PIPE crushes his skull. He COLLAPSES to the side as you rush back behind the TABLE.
FIVE TO GO, not counting the QUEEN BEE.
>>46872987
You ready the BOTTLE OF DRAGONFRUIT POWERADE.
>>46873004
Prepare to shoot the next thug, center of mass.
>>46873004
Let loos the powerade when the time is right.
>>46873004
>>46873004
remaining behind cover, push the TABLE into the doorframe, giving cover and a line of sight into most of the club
>>46873077
You edge the table over to the DOORFRAME to provide maximum LINE OF SIGHT.
>>46873054
>>46873068
This proves handy when the NEXT GUY sidles up; you pop up in front of him and surprise him with TWO GUTSHOTS.
>>46873062
Before he can REACT you smash the FOUL CONCTION on top of his head. He staggers backwards, vomiting and bleeding.
TWO THUGS in the back are leading PATRONS outside, and the FIFTH is unaccountable for along with the QUEEN.
>>46873160
DAMNIT I WASTED A BULLET
>>46873160
Fire a shot into the patrons, get a riot going.
Throw pipe at vomiting thug then draw the knife.
>>46873160
Carefully check the THUG BODIES for a weapon more suited to a fight like this, or at least some more bullets.
>>46873271
You fire your FOURTH SHOT above the heads of the RUSHING PATRONS, who immediately FREAK THE FUCK OUT. One of them pulls a GUN on one of the THUGS, who begins to grapple with them. The OTHER THUG is swamped by the CROWD.
Your PIPE connects with the VOMITING THUG, who staggers again, giving you enough room to slide in and CUT HIS THROAT.
Two down.
You narrowly avoid SHOTGUN FIRE from an UPPER CATWALK, ducking into a STAIRWELL.
>>46873303
You THINK you could grab the SECOND GUY's gun, but you'll need to dodge the SHOTGUN.
>>46873346
See if you can scoop up the gun while CRIME ROLLING into cover.
>>46873398
You perform a nimble CRIME ROLL, scooping up the PISTOL while SHOTGUN BLASTS rattle the tiles. You acquire FOUR more shots, totalling SIX.
You end up BACK BEHIND THE BAR. You could see ONE OF THE THUGS that was dealing with the crowd making his way back towards the bar, shoving STRAGGLERS out of his way.
However it seems that you aren't alone. Someone taps you on the shoulder and you almost SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE. Who the hell is THIS GUY?
>>46873346
dive behind the bar for cover, and try to find something you can use to turn a BOTTLE OF ALCOHOL into a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL.
>>46873481
Ask this mug what his deal is.
>>46873481
Bust him in his mouth flap!
>>46873481
Tell the CORPULENT DUDE to either help out or get out of the way.
>>46873481
Put bloody fluff into booze bottle
>>46873534
You ask this MUG what his DEAL is.
He asks you if your name is JACK NOIR. You say you are, yeah, what's it to you? He says it's very nice to meet you! He's a CAB DRIVER who was waiting here for you. He hopes it didn't take you too long to find this place, you know you being in jail and all. You tell him to shut up. He tells you that he knew a guy named JACK once but he exploded, isn't it a small world?
>>46873576
You pap him with your FIST to shut him up. He rubs his SNOUT and obliges.
>>46873594
>>46873485
>>46873651
You tell the CAB DRIVER to make a MOLOTOV, handing him a BLOODY FLUFF BALL and the WHITE STRIP OF CLOTH. He nods and scurries over to an open cabinet. He says he'll be JUST A MINUTE.
>>46873688
Shoot at the THUG that's approaching the bar while you wait for CD to get back, and prepare your STANDARD KNIFE so you can make some FINGER SPARKS to light the MOLOTOV.
>>46873688
Check where the QUEEN is and take care o that thug.
>>46873688
Activate MANGRIT to throw the bar at the THUG then use the molitove to smoke out that DAMNABLE QUEEN BEE
>>46873800
You DOUBLE TAP the THUG approaching the bar, once in the LEG and then the HEAD. He crumples backwards, head pounding the dance floor.
THREE DOWN.
CD is still rummaging around. He says is it okay that he tasted the white stuff? It tastes really bad. You say you know.
>>46873821
You assume the QUEEN has retreated UPSTAIRS, hence the SHOTGUN FIRE. You tell the CAB DRIVER to stay down and ROLL back to the stairs, which you ASCEND.
Peeking around the CORNER you see a THUG running across a CATWALK towards you.
You have FOUR SHOTS and a bunch of ASSORTED SHIT.
>>46873957
Does he have a gun? If yes shoot him, if no engage radical stabbing maneuvers.
>>46873994
You take a SHOT at the THUG.
Its close, but hits the RAILING. He ducks under it and returns fire.
>>46874041
Jump on top of the railing then run at him. Commence flying stab.
>>46874041
Chuck the CAN OF BROWN PAINT at the THUG. PAINT CANS are much bigger than bullets.
>>46874077
You LEAP onto the railing and HAVE A GO AT HIM.
He pops out at the last second and blasts you, which clips your METAL SHOULDER, but you manage to stick your KNIFE in his shoulder. He yells in pain and reaches to YANK IT OUT.
>>46874089
You take this time to chuck the BROWN PAINT CAN at the THUG, which promptly smashes into his face. He FLIPS over the CATWALK and onto the FLOOR BELOW.
The can FOLLOWS him and EXPLODES on his face.
FOUR DOWN.
The REMAINING THUG has returned from the FRONT, and is making a beeline for his FALLEN COMRADE.
>>46874166
ELBOW DROP
>>46874166
Take a maximum of two shots at FINAL THUG, and FRANTICALLY INQUIRE HOW GODDAMN LONG IT COULD POSSIBLY TAKE TO SHOVE SOME CLOTH INTO A BOTTLE.
>>46874166
Chuck the lockbox at his head.
>>46874225
You perform a LUDICROUS ELBOW DROP on the thug, who doesn't see it coming. You and he both hit the dirt.
>>46874252
However you're faster on the draw, and PLUG HIM.
FIVE DOWN.
You whip around to CHASTISE THE DRIVER, but notice a FLAMING BOTTLE sailing over your head.
It hits an array of FLASHY LIGHTS, which immediately COMBUST FURTHER.
The DRIVER waves his LIGHTER at you excitedly.
>>46874252
HE HAS A FIST FULL OF RUM, ANOTHER FIST FULL OF CLOTH, AND A HEAD FULL OF EMPTY
>>46874323
Dammit, tell him to get another ready but to wait for your signal to throw it. Ascend stairs and locate the QUEEN.
>>46874348
You BERATE THE DRIVER and tell him to make another one, damn it. You chuck a BLOODY FLUFF MOUND at him, and order him to wait for your signal. He makes himself sparse, and by that you mean he hides under the bar again.
You ASCEND the stairs and head over the catwalk, but see nothing of the QUEEN.
Smoke begins to fill the air.
>>46874426
EXAMINE the upstairs to see where she might have gone. No way in hell she's walking away from this one that easily.
>>46874426
Look for her office, there should be some stuff to steal.
Keep the stabber ready.
>>46874472
>>46874478
Wiping the BROWN PAINT from your knife, you look around for an OFFICE.
You find a door and open it, but the QUEEN BEE comes from behind and puts you in a CHOKEHOLD. She bashes your head against the DOORFRAME.
>>46874531
Shit.
Dig your pointy fingers into her wrist and try to bash her with the robo hand.
>>46874531
Kick off the wall as hard as you can to put as much space between yourself and the wall as possible, than go for the legs. That shotgun would be real nice to have right about now.
>>46874579
You wring your CHITINOUS HAND around her wrist and DIG IN with your SHARPENED DIGIT as far as you can.
>>46874586
After this, you kick off the FRAME in order to CLOSE IN, but the QUEEN bellows in rage and tosses you into the ROOM.
It turns out to be her OFFICE, obscured now by a THICK LAYER OF SMOKE. You rush behind her DESK.
>>46874678
Mangrit that desk into her face.
>>46874678
Scream out the door to CD that now might be a really good time to throw that MOLOTOV if it's ready.
>>46874740
We'd get stuck in a burning office.
>>46874697
Your MANGRIT LEVELS boost your TABLE FLIPPING ABILITY to the NEXT LEVEL!
You FLIP the desk towards the door frame.
A BRIGHT LIGHT blasts through the center, cleaving it in two.
The SHOTGUN turns out to be a RAILGUN.
>>46874740
You yell for CD to THROW IT UP.
As a RED LIGHT becomes visible in the smoke, you hear the molotov shatter near the CATWALK.
You take this CLIFFHANGER to pause the adventure so you can GET SOME SLEEP.
Until next time guys!
>>46874852
aw shit.
Good work, Jackquest. Can't wait 'till next time.
>>46874852
Goodnight, Jackanon, it's been good. I want to finish the fight but it's also Three in the Morning and I shouldn't be up this late anyway.
>>46874852
Goddammit
(love you, see you next time)
>>46874852
Goodnight Jackquest.
>>46874852
Do you have any idea how long I've waited for an opportunity to squirt a bloody fluff mound into somone's eyes? It's the entire reason that I suggested filling the fluff with blood in the first place. That was a very satisfying moment for me.
