Does /tg/ even bother saving princesses?
Depends. Does my god will it?
>>46767478
I only saved a princess once, and that's because we stumbled upon her making puns at a silver dragon that had one of those crazy dragon disesases or whatever. It was losing it's shit laughing. We were impressed.
>>46767550
depends. is she a Saracen?
I think I should have asked another question. How often do you see the "Save the princess trope" in your game session?
>>46767478
Well we didn't come this far for nothing.
Why would I give a shit about the princess when that studly hunk of green muscle is there
>>46767841
>>46767478
You are right we should save the Orc from that princess.
>>46767647
>not fucking a hot saracen princess who tries to seduce you by removing her veil for rescuing her
Deus Vult, sir. Save her, then tap that ass.
Only if it's a trap.
>>46768039
This
>>46768219
Who's this semen demon?
>>46767478
Depends. How much is the king offering, and will the god-willed paladin and cleric let me claim their share?
>>46768253
No idea, Anon. Just a little something I picked up on/pol/
>>46767478
The princess and I can please Mr. Orc together, and we can all have some fun~(note: this option is for degenerate bisexuals only)
>>46767478
Wouldn't that princess be really tall if she stood up? Or is the hero a manlet?
>>46768591
the hero is just smaller than the princess
>>46768591
>not wanting to save the hot amazon princess
step it up senpai
NO PRISONERS! NO PRISONERS!
>>46767478
Yes, but it was under rather bitter-sweet circumstances.
The princess needed to be returned because she was to be given to the Seelie Court as part of an ancient pact. The Fey protect the lands from monsters and in return, upon coming of age, the eldest daughter of the royal bloodline is delivered to brighten the Seelie Court.
But a dragon had kidnapped the princess, asking for a ransom, the dragon having no knowledge of the pact and that without the Fey's protection, its home was in just as much danger as everyone else's. As the deadline for the princess's offering grew closer, the land itself began to rebel against all who inhabited it, making the travel to the dragon's lair arduous.
We eventually managed to travel to the dragon's lair but were unsuccessful in convincing it of the necessity of freeing the princess. Nor was it possible to provide it with the ransom that it requested. We killed the dragon and freed the princess. However, the princess was very reluctant to be given over to the Fey. She felt that humans were capable of defending themselves and that she would be of more benefit leading her people rather than being used as an offering. The party is split over this, as she is the only heir to the throne with half believing that the kingdom would be stronger if it could be fully independent and that relations with the fey may be maintained if the matter is brought up cordially. The other half firmly believe that the Fey's magic is not something that humans could replicate, and that we would not be able to stop what terrors may invade the land, should the Fey completely abandon the kingdom.
Nah, more the sort that kidnaps them, usually for ransom.
Or at least that's the idea, my dude fucked up and we had to flee the country.
>>46767742
Too late.
>>46767478
I've never had the chance to save a princess, make the baker's daughter blush, or princess carry the wounded elf. I just want something cute to happen.I have played TTRPGs for 14 years and never seen anything approaching the mildest PG romance.
>>46767478
You seem to have run into a dangerous foe, a fair maiden just behind it.
You're equipped with only a sword and your wits, both not very sharp.
Quick!
>what do you do?
>>46771702
Cut off your clothes and prepare your body for the deep ravaging the monster is about to give you.
>>46771702
Trade sword for princess
>>46771702
Run, get help.
>>46771702
Point out that there's a three-headed monkey behind him
>>46771702
ask if he'd be down for a devil's threeway
>>46771756
You offer up your sword. You start bringing up all the key selling points; it can be used as a toothpick, it's made of the finest hard plastics in the seven kingdoms, and the hilt is gen-u-ine cow ass.
The large for doesn't seem too impressed, however.
You need to try something new!
>What do?
>>46771893
Explain anal self-pleasuring.
>>46771893
Stab him in the eye now that he's leaning in
>>46767478
I have stolen a princes before does that count
>>46771893
Tell him the sword will make it easier to acquire princesses in the future.
>>46771944
Seconding this.
>>46771932
You point out the perks of the hilt fitting snugly into medium-to-large sized anuses. He seems interested.
And distracted!
Quick!
>what do?
>>46772043
demonstrate, force it into his ass however blade side first, Gaddafi-style
>>46772043
Oh wow, this is an actual dilemma. Do we incapacitate him through pleasure, trade the dildo for the princess, do we ram the blade up is ass, do we cut off his Johnson, or what?
>>46772086
Let's see if we can combine "ram the blade up his ass" with "cut off his Johnson".
>>46772043
Stab him while his attention is diverted with gay thoughts. If you really need to do orc butt stuff a princess' ransom will buy more
>>46772097
>cut off his Johnson
What are we, nihilists?
>>46772043
I say we stick it up his butt, hilt first. He'll enjoy it, but, we'll leave it there. He won't be able to do anything with it there, and if he tries to take it out he'll cut himself on the blade. Plus he'll be uncomfortable running. So we use that opportunity to run away with the princess.
>>46772141
Also, he'll be less inclined to chase after us if he's got a whole new realm of pleasure to explore. You don't think long-term with your first dildo up your butt.
>>46772043
Buttpunch
>>46771702
>If we runz for it we don't lose eva, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
>>46772081
If dark souls taught me anything, it's that this is the correct course of action.
>>46767478
I'm here to recruit the orc, actually.
>>46772141
With all your heroic might, you shove the hilt of the blade up the large creatures rectum. It utters an inhuman howl that turns into a gravely moan
>>46772713
The creature lies writhing with pleasure on the ground as you pose triumphantly for the captured maiden.
Surely you've won this fair lady's virgin heart
>>46772727
>"Uh."
>>46772750
>"This is weird. I'm out."
She turns and walks away, the sounds of a climaxing monster behind you.
All in a days work.
The end.Watch Bang Quest today at /aco/ :^)
>>46772769
We did it Reddit!
>>46772769
Thanks anon, that was fun.
