When was the last time your character went to the bathroom?When was the last time they bathed or showered?
>>46737010
First question irrelevant to anyone who is not in the magical realm
Second question, normally whenever there is a running water source available and the party is stopped for the night. Rain is fine too.
>>46737010
>Campaign started with my character in a jail cell.
>First thing I did after escaping was go take a bath at the local luxury tavern.
Hygiene is important, to.
>>46737010
whenever it was last convenient and necessary for him to do so. You see I'm playing a roleplaying game where I would like to play pretend all the cool parts like fighting monsters and political intrigue. I go to the bathroom and wash every day so it doesn't really seem important to pretend to do that.
>>46737010
In a monsters game I'm in, one of the kids has a relationship with "Hygeine" so they've showered pretty damn often
>>46737447
Just picture this though. You fight oozes, bugs, and a dragon and since the castle is less than a day away you just start walking and walk into the king's court looking and smelling like a slimy sulfurous hobo.
>>46737010
>When was the last time your character went to the bathroom?
I'm not falling for that trick again!
Considering my dwarf cleric has a feat that allows him to basically never take his armor off...
What's a bath?
>>46737621
I really don't feel the need to narrate my characters every action. Tell me, how much detail do you go into when you describe your character bathing? Do you make sure to mention that you scrub behind the ears and lather correctly? Does anyone else in your group really give a shit or are you all equally autistic?
Explicitly? A few months ago when my gnoll wanted to send a message to the Zarusian clergy. Otherwise it's just assumed to be something done in the background off-screen..
>>46737010
Prestidigitation essentially murdered hygiene rituals in its crib, so, been a long damn while.
>>46738139
Can you just magic the poop right out of your colon?
>>46738039
>your party enters the Kings garden, to report success in battle with the dragon.
>you see a beautiful white marble fountain, standing by it, the king.
>"how deep is the fountain?"
Uh...2ft deep?
>"perfect, my dwarf walks past the king, thanking him for drawing him a bath."
Wait what?
>"he jumps into the water, armor and all to wash off the dragon blood, grass, rocks, sand, grit and miscellaneous other fluids and solids."
5 minutes later
>your party is staring at the king, who appears to be having a minor stroke. The blackish brown marble fountain desecrated beyond repair by anybody. The foul ooze in the fountain may have once been water but resembles a phlegmmy blood soup.
>"ain't nuthin like a good armor scrubbing once in a while"
>>46737010
Never once on screen, but one of my players explicitly stated that his character was going to go and take a bath since he most likely hadn't had time for one for ages. Something which surprised everyone else because said character is always seen being clad in full fucking plate armor, to the point that several people had started to theorize that he wasn't actually human and was just a ghost possessing a suit of armor. Some of them joke that he bathes while still fully armored.
>>46738174
lol so random
>>46738039
>Tell me, how much detail do you go into when you describe your character bathing?
None, only the lack of whether anyone bathed after they did something dirty and they go do something social in the timespan in less than a day will be brought up if leads it to jokes at the party's expense.
>>46737010
Vampire, dosent have to poop if he doesn't eat people food (and even then, poop is a bit of a stretch for mashed up whatever it was he ate) and doesn't sweat like a pig-disgusting breather.
That said, end of last session as he was covered in the remains of -whatever that fucking thing was-
>>46737010
>bathed
Most of my party took turns bathing while visiting a mansion full of vampires who kidnapped someone we're supposed to rescue. My party kept bathing despite a painting in the bathroom surreptitiously observing them, although to their dubious credit they attempted to cover it up. These people then proceeded to forsake their armor for dress outfits provided by the vampires. Even our literal hide-bound feral shaman couldn't resist the offer. My character did neither of those things because he doesn't trust the hospitality of vampires. The rest of the party is still entertaining the possibility that the kidnapping victim went willingly, though they don't have a clear plan if that's turns out to be the case.
They are not terribly bright or genre-savvy players.
no one in the group has ever wanted to roleplay going to the toilet or showering so it has never come up. it is assumed that they go whenever they need to go and shower/bathe when they can. when the magic user(s) of the party get high enough level then they use the unlimited use cantrips bathe and bathe other.
why the fuck would you want to stop the game just to say "i go pee."????
>>46738836
To fight bathroom mimics, duh.
>>46738784
either that or they are TOO genre savvy and know that in a horror movie, it's what they would do
>>46737010
They washed in a stream in the last game. Not particularly for hygiene's sake. More for the fact a giant wanted to be blood brothers, and giants bleed a lot.
It's never a good idea to be covered in blood when there's velociraptors around.
>>46738049
>furry scat porn campaign.
wew
>>46738174
>Gore and scat fetish.
Wew
>>46738836
>Bible belt conservatives to whom poop is evil.
WEW
>>46738918
>toilet mimics whose primary food source is genitals
how horrifying.
>>46738836
we did once when we got attacked by an akaname
>>46739016
>weeb GMs
i seriously doubt any GM that wasn't a weeb or 1st gen japanese would know about ANY yokai.
Last time we played. Since two of the characters don't go to the bathroom at all, DM has kept minor track of those of us that do have to.
Not great detail, just a small ongoing remembrance for when it matters, like being out on a mission for like an entire day in-game.
>>46739088
it was pretty out of place, he was mainly just picking out random shit from bestiary 5 since he'd just bought it
>>46738921
>either that or they are TOO genre savvy and know that in a horror movie, it's what they would do
I hear a lot of people (often including these players) ridicule horror-movie tropes of characters making outrageously bad decisions, but when I see them replicate those decisions in TRPGs, it makes me question whether real people would actually act differently.
>>46738784
Sounds like you're just a vampiphobic bigot!
>>46739189
Prepare for a bathroom ambush someday
>>46738926
Exactly. You just can't win. Nobody wins. Everybody loses.
>>46739189
>>46740832
Except these guys, maybe.
>>46740832
I've already been bathroom ambushed, and one of the characters got ambushed when she tried to wash herself after getting plant guts all over her.
>>46737010
Not since we killed those Wendigos in that cave. Fuck
>>46737010
>Toilet mimic
>MFW imagining a Gm trying to pull something like this
I like to think that as a GM there are some lines that you just don't cross man. There are rules. Sacred rules. You can throw in all the plot twists, betrayals, moral dilemmas, and general psychological fucker uppers as you want at your players, but you never, NEVER fuck with where a person shits. That's beyond fucked.
>>46737010
There are no good baths in Barovia. We actually spent like half an hour making soap jokes after I wreslted a bear and then we all basically nat 1'd our perception checks.
When I was in a real group and not Adventure League, I actually made the group short rest in bath houses. It was like a game of chicken with my DM for when he would interrupt our short rest and have to deal with the fact that the entire party would be naked when attacked. "But that just makes it more difficult to defend yourself!" you might be thinking, but it was actually a carefully laid plot. It had the veneer of RP, despite none of us actually RPing in the bathhouse, but it was far enough from hiding in a dark unnamed alley with all of our weapons prepared for an hour that the DM wanted to reward it. Further, I was playing a female character with maxed charisma and I knew exactly what he considered whenever he thought of interrupting the bath house short rest before inevitably letting us have the hour because he swallowed the kool-aid on the Magical Realm meme.
I once had a character whose whole schtick was being a hermit hadn't cleaned himself in 20 years because his philosophy stated to wash yourself is to wash away enlightenment.
5 sessions into the campaign our party's caster decided to cast a purifying spell on my character, cleansing him of all his filth and stink, because he decided to be a dick.It didn't end well and would set forward a series of events which would result in a TPK. My character went berserk, his entire life's work was destroyed. He charged the caster but rolled a 2 initiative and got insta-knock downed by the caster's attack. The caster then convinced our Paladin (he was a new player and was easily manipulated) to coup de grace my character. Caster's player then tried to argue with the DM when he refused to insta-kill my character (even though the damage delt wasn't enough to do so). DM was furious at the turn of events and ended the session early.The next session we resume with my character bond and being carried along by the rest of the party. The Paladin's player bailed so it was only my character, a Ranger, a Necromancer, and the Caster. The Necromancer had had enough of the caster's BS, declared him to be evil and attacked. I break free from my binds and kill the Caster. The Ranger is killed in the fight, Necromancer also dies, and my character kills himself immediately after killing the caster. A TPK, all because of some 20 year old dwarf stank.
>>46743016
I'm just picturing an alternative route where your character suicides because he forgot to bring an umbrella on a rainy day.
>>46742057
You have obviously never lived in a college dorm
>>46743756
I chose off campus housing since they weren't down with my desire to keep my pet. Dare I ask what went on in your dorms?
>>46743803
not him, but shared a toilet with 3 other guys. Effectively with two other guys because the fourth was an autistic chink who never flushed his shit
>>46742057
Toilet Mimic, eh?
>>46737010
My last session we set up camp by the sea and I swam around and bathed with some soaps I bought from a peddler. too fresh for my murder hobo party. I'm trying to get a hair cut but my dm hasn't given me a town with a barber in it yet...
>>46737010
But anon I'm a droid.
>>46744021
Seems as it would feel like a very pleasant surprise.
My character has lost the need to eat or drink. Being a machine can have some benefits.
>>46737010
He's been undead so long that he can't even remember what he used to look like.
So... a pretty long time for all three questions.
>>46743846
We had a guy in conscription who's poop wouldnt sink. Every fucking time before inspection he would frantically try to drown his floating shit with buckets and buckets of water. It was like that aerated chocolate.
>>46742057
>>46744021
Yeah I'm just going to have my character hold her bladder until the dungeon is complete. Would it require a Fortitude save?
Funny you ask. In the last campaign there were at least three memorable and rp-ed sequences of characters bathing. And that's not counting offscreen ones.
However, I don't remember a single time my character shat. Plenty of times they vomited, though.
>>46737010
It's assumed to happen 'off screen' though she was once in a prison that had a chamber pot, which is a good bit of background detail. I turned it into a Chekhov's gun when used it as a makeshift weapon on one of the guards.
Also she bathes regularly. She has an affinity and connection with water and can barely stand to be away from a river, lake or sea for too long.
>>46737010
>Roll for stool softness.
>>46750112
Why?
In what possible way could the density of your shit ever be a fact that you needed to know?
We legit had a guy roll to shower. It was kind of a running joke for us, we rolled for fucking everything. Cooking eggs, doing laundry, just for a bit. You don't want to know what happened on a critical failure.
Rolled 4 (1d7)
>>46750112
Rolling.
>>46750156
>roll to shower
>critical failure.
You stand there till the water goes cold and didn't actually scrub yourself?
>>46750192
Slip hit your head, drown, and then die.
>>46748524just as planned, for thats my fetish
>>46742057
Rule 4 : Beware of toilets.
>>46750271
Roll or Die is not a critical failure, it's shit DMing.
>>46750993
Dude it was a joke. Guy in our group was dicking around, rolling for shower and other stupid stuff, then someone was all "what happens if he critical fails?" And we sat there for a minute before one of the other players dead paned "dies", and we continued to kek.
>>46738173
Would need a spell that doesn't require line of effect or line of sight which likely puts it beyond the average prestidigitation type spell. I mean, wizards in a typical setting tend to have a lot of down time or just get bored. Couple that with a tendency to apply disproportionate amounts of magic power to accomplish mundane goals and I'm sure one of them made a spell for this.
Someone went into Fecalmancy because he needed something unique for his wizard thesis in college and everything else was taken. Now he's the magical Mike Rowe and gets paid literally out the ass to single-handedly run the capital's sewer system (you could say he's flush with cash). Make fun if you want but there are no giant rats, otyughs, bandit lairs or other bullshit in THESE sewers. Hell, they're safer than the streets and the common folk know to respect him.
I put too much thought into this.
>>46737010
one of my characters is OCD when it comes to being clean, so she invested in a broach of cleanliness (and an amulet of the same, for redundancy). dirt, grime and the like just roll off of her and whatever she is currently wearing. put simply, she never needs to bathe, because she is never dirty. not even a little bit.
>>46737010
Well, he's a robot, so never.
>>46751919
>implying robots don't poop
>>46738926
>Bible belt conservatives to whom poop is evil.
Poop is actually good. It's bad that you're pooping, but the poop itself is good.
Poop is your body losing its goodness because it is an inhospitable environment. If you had cleansed yourself entirely of sin, you would not poop.
In Heaven nobody poops.
>>46751977
You're mistaking poop and pee.
Poop is stuff you ate but can't use.
Pee is stuff you want out of your body, like ammoniac.
>>46751943
>making robots that require biological sustenance and therefore produce biological waste
ISHYGDDT
>>46752005
That would be cyborgs. The brain still requires nutrient.
Robots, I don't know. Maybe oil and coal.
>>46737010
He's a robot, so never.
>>46752030
>>46751919
>Skynet
>>46752004
IN HEAVEN NOBODY POOPS.
>>46752066
Can you define 'heaven,' anon? What is 'heaven?' What makes it 'good?'
>>46752066
I take it nobody eat either.
My group actually makes a point of talking up how much they pamper themselves when they get to a town, usually including long luxurious baths.
It's only been mentioned once or twice (came up because of ambushes in camp), but it's established that people do their bathroom business and also quickly wash up at appropriate times when camping or traveling. The wizard's little magical retreat in a bottle specifically has water closets.
>>46737010
>staying with one of the most influential and powerful men in the city
>will not meet with us until us rough and tumble adventurers bathe ourselves and then wash our faces and hands in a basin
>even after he sends us to a giant termite mound to dig around to look for treasure
>>46737010
After being on the road for about 3 weeks the party with the exception of the Barbarian Dragonborn took the first chance to have a bath in the town they came across.
>>46744021
IveSeenEnoughHentai.gif
Rolled 3 (1d7)
>>46750184
>>46737042
>Rain is fine too.
>>46737010
Crapping is assumed. Describing that is purely magical realm.
Bathing isn't necessary when it's as infrequent to commoners as water dungeons are to the party. Besides, my guy would probably just powder.
>>46756004
You don't have to describe in detail but what if your DM decided that the monster you ate wasn't cooked right? Hope there's toilet paper in your setting.
>>46738926
>Bible belt conservatives to whom poop is evil
I'm starting to suspect you're having a laugh.
Rolled 5 (1d7)
>>46750184
I have to know
I remember once in a FO:PNP game my half mutant got hit with tear gas in a rundown college science lab. I had him strip down and use a chem shower thing. GM never said the schools water tanks ran out, but I got slightly irradiated.
>>46756057
If it's plot relevant the GM should describe that the player is doing his business when X happens. If my GM says I enter a bathroom and have to shit, then asks what I do, I'll stand up and silently but quickly leave the game.
>>46737447
We own a spaceship so I just assume I do my daily schedule there.
>>46737010
It was about 50 ingame hours ago, right after I had banged a millionaire's daughter. Someone filmed the act and posted it on the internet. Now I'm in Alaska.
Rolled 2 (1d7)
>>46750184
Rolling
>>46756242
What if he was just clumsily setting up an ambush?
>>46737010
He bathes every session, but... Last bathroom trip was over 960-ish hours ago.
oh shit!
