>the local alchemist refuses to sell you anything on the basis that you're too weak for him
>>46727906
I punch him in the face.
>>46727906
I take out a vial, let him identify it (it's a vial of black mamba poison) and then I put the poison on a dagger and stab myself with it.
Shortly after that, I stab the dagger into the potion seller's table.
"Do you still think I'm weak, pinkskin?"
I remember that video.
It was funny at first, but then I kept watching and watching expecting a punch line that never came.
How high do you have to be to find that video funny enough for it to go that viral?
>>46729018
What video?
>>46729117
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FQU4KzN7A
>>46729018
It's a sign of a small mind to assume that somebody must be intoxicated to enjoy a thing that you do not find enjoyable.
>>46729514
Have you imbibed intoxicants previously? Small doses lower inhibitions, while heavy doses remove serious barriers and open enjoyment to include things one may not normally agree with.
>it's an "OP makes a reference to a video game" thread
>>46729804
Actually isn't a video game reference
>>46727906
well MAYBE I'd get stronger faster if you would just SELL ME the fucking STEROIDS you smug bitch!!!
>>46728064
Black momba stab is weaker than his weakest potion. The minimum is "causes dragons to OD."
>>46729117
>>46727906
>clearly I cannot handle his strongest potions
>his strongest potions would kill me
>I should go to someone who sells weaker potions
>His strongest potions would kill a dragon
>>46729793
That's true.
It's also true that people have different tastes, especially when it comes to humour. Sober people can vary widely on what entertains them.
It's rather interesting what will kick the, "Shit taste, pleb," reaction. It gets really weird in the french food industry, where they will simultaneously look down on a chef for using subpar ingredients, but secretly try to steal his recipe because the end result was still delicious. Then they just make the same thing with more butter, and it's suddenly the hottest new thing.
I hate France...
What was I talking about?
Tell him I care not for the risks and I'll pay double if I have to.
I'm getting his strongest potions or burning his shop down. I'm going off to BATTLE, man.
If I am going into battle then I have accepted the chance of death already. It doesn't matter if his strongest potions would kill me, I still need them for this battle.
>>46727906
Call the inquisitor, he's a heretic
>>46729825
Although they would be perfect characters for Elder Scrolls.
>>46732364
Isn't there a dragon killer potion in Skyrim?
>>46732756
Why respect knights when my potions can do anything that you can?
>>46727906
>I refuse to buy anything from him because he's too meme for me.
>>46727906
At first glance I thought that picture was an Oblivion joke
>>46729932
I am far stronger than a dragon.
Now give me your fucking potion!
>>46733820
I always thought the video it's based on was an oblivion joke
>>46734726
I always thought Oblivion was a joke.
>>46735109
Bethesda.
The best settings... with the worse writing.
There games really want to be awesome, I want their games to be awesome too, but I get half way though their more modern releases and feel like I need to sit down with the game and have a long talk about what it wants to do with its self.
I don't dislike their games.... I think I might actually kind of pity them.
>>46734695
No, my potions are for the strongest beings, and clearly you are one of the weakest!
>>46733502
>He wasn't going to sell to you anyway
>His potions are much too strong for you
Rolled 7 + 1 (1d20 + 1)
>>46735359
Okay, this is enough.
>roll for initiative
>>46735354
Oblivion's questlines were alright. It's the dialogue and worldbuilding that stinks.
Morrowind is probably their last amazing release. Fallout New Vegas was very good, too.
>>46729514
Did you even watch the video?
It's really only amusing if you're a child or an idiot.
>>46735430
>New Vegas
>Bethesda
>>46735430
New Vegas was developed by Obsidian using Bethesda's tools. Bethesda's only been involved with Fallout 3 and 4.
>>46735435
>That guy's weird.
>Liking that weird shit.
>Must be an idiot.
How's high school?
>>46735460
>>46735497
Bethesda is the publisher, not the developer.
>>46732756
Yes. But it involves using a poison ingredient only available once in the game. If you use the right gloves, skills, and items you can make a health draining potion that drains 1,900+ hp per second and lasts for 40~ seconds.
>>46735801
Wow. If only Alduin was a challenge, then it might be useful.
>>46735524
You're trying to say it's not stupid, when it's stupid.
That makes you...?
Stupid.
>>46735861
I don't believe I've ever even implied that it wasn't stupid.
You know what else is stupid? Babies, dogs, pretend games, and posting on 4chan.
I still find them entertaining...
>>46735703
... So?
>>46727906
How is this guy still in business?
>>46736221
>Wealth Potions
>>46736221
Luck potions, and
>>46736264
>>46735425
>Initiative
> +1
You're not strong enough for my potions, traveler!
>>46735861
>>46736221
By selling grease potions and other potions that are not supposed to be drunk.
>>46737211
Eight year olds, dude...
>>46736221
Alchemists, yo.
If he can brew potions not designed to be lethal, but are still so potent they kill dragons, I think he can manage some lead to gold.
>>46729018
What really made it funny for me was how much he was enjoying his own dumb shenanigans. He was bringing himself to fucking tears.
>>46738045
Yup. Having fun is fun.
>>46738045
Fair enough. If anything, it was cute.
>>46727906
My good man, I woke up NAKED.
In a pile of seventeen MIMES of VARIOUS races.
Covered in ABOLETH MUCUS.
A WEEK after I told the madame, who is definitely a drow, and maybe a vampire that IWAS DOWN WITH THE CLOWNa week ago.
I don't remember a single thing that went on that week because I was on ENOUGH DRUGS AND BOOZE TO PUT A DRAGON ON IT'S ASS.
And I plan on doing it again next time I'm back there.
Now, are we going to do business, or are we going to sit here waving our figurative genitals around when we could be waving our actual ones around?
>>46727906
Lucky for me I plan to use your strongest potions to kill a dragon. Now sell my your potions potion seller.
>>46727906
Well, if he doesn't want my fucking business, that's his loss.
>>46740004
I will make you a potion of dragon slaying.
The price is one dead dragon of equivalent power, up front.
>>46740239
Only tax evaders conduct business in barter.
GUARDS!
>>46740340
What seems to be the problem sir?
>>46735430
I want a comprehensive Morrowind RPG. With books and books of lore, classes, items. All canon. If a genie granted me three wishes my first would be an Elder Scrolls RPG system to rival D&D and Pathfinder
>>46739891
... come to think of it, I've never seen a picture of anything but human mimes. Now I want to see an Elf Mime.
Also, Mime related:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRZ-jLOrFfk
>>46727906
But I'm going into battle...
Seems like the street you are located on is about to be designated.
>>46735430
Look, whatever I played in 11th grade was the best one. The whole company went downhill after that.
There. Saved everyone some time.
>>46744514
>Elf mime
Right? Or a Goblin or something.
Also, forgot one other aspect of my character's "accidental" mime and aboleth pile.The cockring of invisibility. Cause everyone knows mimes can't ride a visible dick.
>>46727906
Well, I should probably head to a different Alchemist. Perhaps I'll stop by some other time if I need a poison.
>>46735430
Morrowind was incredibly static and lifeless though
Oblivion at least felt more "alive"
>>46744949
Where are my sexy mimes?
>>46729195
>Not the superior version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIQVbxMJWgM
Rolled 8 + 12 (1d20 + 12)
>>46736973
I'll let whatever is almighty up there decide that!
>roll to hit
>>46736221
He only sells the finest potions to the upper class and charges ridiculous prices. Also lead to gold.
>>46742747
UESRPG in /tgesg/ is pretty close, especially if you had a DM who played and loves Morrowind.
>>46745246
"I saw a mudcrab the other day." "It seems the Summerset Isles are experiencing a lot of trouble lately" "Take care"
Well, i'm going to get the potions either way. Either he can live and get paid, or he can die and lose everything.
