We've all been there. Tired, stressed. You think you're doing fine until later on you realize you'd mantled the soul of That Guy and done some truly cringeworthy shit.
For me, I was playing a game of 3e DnD back in highschool. Everything was going fine until the group decided to enter a tournament in competition with one another. I was a monk. My fight was with a wizard. Before the night was done I'd thrown a temper tantrum so loud and incoherent I skipped school for a week out of shame and it took months for me to have the courage to show my face at the group again. Whenever I start to get upset about anything in my life, I think back to that moment and the embarrassment calms me to a state of complacency.
So what's your secret shame, /tg/? The one so bad it weighs down your whole life?
>>46647982
I don't seed torrents.
>>46647982
When I was in college, I'd wake up at 6:00am and then go to all my classes, and then later in the night when all my friends were available, we'd play D&D until 2:00am, I was DM for 9 people, and after a while I'd be so burnt out I wouldn't even count AC or Modifiers, and when the players would question me, I'd get mad.
Played a tiefling warlock.
Also I frequently redirect people to other boards.
>>46648023
>>>/v/
>>46647982
I played an androgynous catboy becausethat's my fetish.
>>46647982
From the years of 1999 to 2002 all my characters were elf bladesingers using katanas.
All of them, even in non-fantasy settings.
>>46647982
That's bad.
>>46648023
Not nice. I don'tseed either.
>>46648184
>androgynous catboy
That's disgusting.
>>46648209
That's....ugh...that's beyond vile.
For a long time, I mean until just recently, all of my characters were wish fulfillment. Power, sex, ect. And sometimes it was very cringey.
Now I have a rule: unless the DM brings it up, my characters are not sexual. At all. I don't even think of their sexuality or their looks. I play males and females, but they are all sponges, often with swords and shields.
And I stopped trying to take my own anger out in game. Kylo Ren was cool on screen for a moment when he smashed up that computer console. But imagine being the Imperial officer. You're thinking, stop being a whiny brat and wrecking my ship! So no more anger in game. Ever.
That's me now, the happy go lucky sponge carrying an armory of sharp, metal toys.
>>46648363
And my group members love having me around these days. I kill things quickly and focus on bonds between characters that are memorable, funny and not at all sexual.
(But I really want to shag the BBEG-turned-wooby destroyer of worlds right now. Like soooo baaadly!)
>>46648381
That can actually be a redemption plot.
I literally cannot stop playing heroic paladins.
>>46648363
Isn't it always, though? I mean, you can be overbearing or overdo it, but the idea is being somebody else, or pretending to be anyway.
The worst thing I ever did was throw a bitch fit and rage quit when my Wizard got killed and his CON score went down when being revived with a weaker spell. It was pretty shit anyways. It's not like it mattered even.
Although, the guy taking a turn at DM, I can't think of a time when he was ever NOT "Alucard". I mean, I don't blame him, Symphony of the Night is one of my favorite games of all time too, but still. I think he also fell in love with the other one, from Hellsing. We are grown ass men now, of course, but it wouldn't surprise me terribly if he still played a vampire with a funny name that was a badass. Oh, and the Coat/Cloak.
>>46648553
I can't stop playing witches.
>>46647982
I sperged out hard and completely shut a game down because my players kept trying to kill random shopkeepers when their attempts to intimidate them into offering lower prices failed. I've actually given up DMing because of how poorly I acted at the time.
>>46648513
I'm thinking about that. My char is being bro's with him right now while the rest of the party is picking on him. I want to make us a battle couple, but I need to summon the courage to talk to the DM about it.
>>46648670
Yes and no, I guess. I admit even my lovable lunk characters are partly fulfillment. I think no one likes me being smart and in charge so I play a brick that likes hugs.
>>46648771
I'm out for a bit. Gotta go. TTYL.
I use cropped porn for my character portraits and once the GM got really offended by it. I denied it for a long time but he brought the full picture to show everyone.
Pic is not related, btw.yes it is
>>46647982
My players have been trapped within my magical realm for years now.
They love it, they think it's the grimmest darkest thing they've seen and it warms my heart to see them talk about it, draw characters and plot together.
By night, I am furiously masturbating myself into a psychotic coma over what transpired in the game. They will never know that their game is fuelled by sexual derangements masked as edgy and hardcore.
>>46647982
Online DM bait and switched a x-men esque supers academy game into an anime SoL game of Maid.I succumbed to going full yuri last.It was the most fun and most character depth in regards to relationships I've ever had.
>>46648827
Later, Lunk-San.
>>46648981
>fuelled by sexual derangements masked as edgy and hardcore.
Such as...?
>>46648964
Homare is excellent character art. Fuck that guy.
>>46647982
I can only play one type of character.
>>46648993
Pretty much CoC, if CoC wasn't a furry/futa utopia and actually had a sense of intense danger and consequence.
>>46649041
Corruption of Champions.
>>46649023
Call of Cthulhu?
>>46648981
My setting is kind of like that. lt's got overtly sexual shit all over the place though, and my players like it because they think I'm taking queues from the Greeks and other sexual myths. There's also a lot of shit that springs from my fetishes that's less obvious, such as humans being able to grow to 8 feet (small giantess), the largest eleven kingdom being led by witches (powerful women fetish) who do fetishy rituals, two other nations led by women as well, the princess of one country being a suit of enchanted armour with a soul bound to it (one of the players married her and he loves her, ignorant of her condition until their wedding night. He loved it and demanded I describe her magical vagina). I guess some of my players also like to delve into the realms, but they usually do it in a joking manner.
>>46649023
Can you dumb it down more, doc? Most of us don't play Call of Cthulhu. Does it involve pies?
The games in high school when I tried to be edgy.
The games in college when I tried to be wacky.
Sometimes I wake up at 3am and remember them.
>>46648999
Soul brother! Finally someone who understands!
>>46648981
this requires story time
>>46649174
I am your brother in shame, anon.
>>46648981
Please story time
>>46648964
And you didn't say that you had no idea, and furthermore imply he had problems for instantly recognizing and sourcing porn?
>>46648761
I get that though.
If I'm having to both host and gm, I don't want players wasting my time. Hanging out, ooc chatter, and a little bit of goofy shit is fine, but the campaign's tone was talked about beforehand and everyone was okay with it. If I wanted to watch a shittier version of Monty Python I'd get high and watch Kids in the Hall so at least I'd have fun.
>>46649379
>Kids in the Hall
>Cat on my head! Cat on my head!
>>46647982
I have put subtly racist content into every game I have ever run. Nothing explicit, but it's a recurring theme with orcs as stand-in for dark-skinned people, devil cults as Islam, and so on. No one has noticed or mentioned it yet.
>>46649437
If they're that subtle then nobody will get it or care, severely limiting their didactic value.
>>46649479
It's not for their benefit. It's for mine.
I have holy orders that are basically Good fascists. I also like grimdark stuff in general, and do things like "The woman about to be burnt at the stake? SHE REALLY IS A WITCH."
I played a character built to fight like an assassin, really wanted to assassinate people and my DM was cool enough to let me get involved with a crowd that would pay me to do so,
And then I constantly pursued assassination targets instead of helping or caring about the party. Makes me sad thinking about how hard I tried to sneak away from the group and waste time with my own little missions when he was trying to keep us together to make plot happen
I joined 2 games and got really into the backstory and chatting with the other group members and getting everything going and then just dropped them the night before the game. Idk if I just get bored with it or didn't think I could do it long term but I dropped them like hot potatoes. On roll20 so it's not exactly hard to find new PCs but I still feel shitty about it.
>>46649069
>>46649163
Corruption of Champions. Google it if you dare.
>>46647982
Shame? Lel!
> I had 4 players, on of which was perfectly aware, deal with the plot of DUNE on Tatooine, using Jawas as Fremen, scratch-built trains with siege weapons as Shai-Hulud and had a Hutt named Harkonnen.
No shame.
> Was an Orc Antipaladin from a barbarian tribe in an evil group where I wasn't the leader. DM was EXTREMELY stingy on loot. Defeated a hag without killing her. Raped her as my loot. Gained a disease, which is a bonus to an Antipaladin.
No shame.
> New DM was a bit of a retard 3eeaboo, wanted to start 4th Ed, asked us to roll 4d6 and take total of all dices for each stat, placed wherever we want. Took regular rules and bluffed these were the stats we rolled. Made a Dwarven Divine Party. Made the DMPC the butt of every joke because he prayed a different God. Goliath enters play. Ridiculed even more. Scolded for requiring more healing power than dwarves even though his dump stat is an 18.
Actually having pride here. The game was a wreck. Started level 1 and found 2 artefacts. One of them we completely refused to use.
>>46649760
Note: artefacts (Some kind of Dwarven chainmail and a Dwarven Axe of some sort) found before the 3rd level.
>>46648353
>That's disgusting.
I know. I'm sorry, I flagellate myself every night for it, in hopes to wash this shame away.
>>46649641
Had players do this 4 sessions in. No feedback, no nothing. Leaving is no biggie. Not telling a soul makes you worst than Hitler.
>>46647982
It took me far too long to realize I had a "That GM" running games at my LGS and I'm sure his shit games are the reason my brother stopped doing RP
I don't recall all the shit he did but he indulged in magical realm too often now that I think about it. That and he basically removed my brother from a session by locking his character in a room without really letting him do anything. Man, you know what, fuck that guy, I haven't seen him in over 2-3 years but I kind of hope he's miserable.
>>46649505
For the longest time now I've wanted to play a paladin that upholds all of the good ideals of Nazi Germany. The national pride, heritage and socialism, ect.
And yes, my shield would have a swastika on it.
>>46647982
I gave up upon a scenario.
It was 3:30 AM, we were playing since 5 PM (with breaks, so don't sweat it), the players were not only clueless on extremely simple scenario, they've also started to pick on each other characters, the party split into THREE groups and I knew they've reached the point of no return about hour ago, so nothing will salvage the game at this point.
So I gave up and declared it a night.
We played the scenario again the next morning with completely different approach and they've finished it below two hours.
>>46647982
I played a game of MAID rpg for over a year.It's still ongoingAnd I'm still trapped in it
>>46649505
What's the benefit?
My first character was a tiefling with a spiked chain.
My second was a doppelganger that took the shape of a little girl.
In my defence, I was 12-13 when Ii played thrm. Also, the little girl was the dms idead
I can't not hog the spotlight in most groups.
I'll preface this by saying it isn't an ego thing. I'm not trying to put people down or really build myself up. But I do tend to be an idea guy and I'm usually one of the first ones to go "fuck it, time to get shit done". Combine this with the tendency to play over the top big-damn heroes and often embrace half suicidal plans and you can see how this tends to leave me in the spotlight some of the time. But I can't stop doing it because every second I have to keep whispering to myself "Don't excel, don't stand out, don't be a big damn hero" is a second I die a little on the inside.
It's the sweetest feeling when I've got a group that can actually roll with that energy. Because, again, this isn't an ego thing. I don't have to be THE big damn hero, just A big damn hero, and if at least one other person in the party can dig deep, nut up and go be awesome together then people tend to get swept up in it. But for too many groups I've had to try to break out of a cycle of overthinking every detail, coaxing responses from every party member, and workshoping the hell out of every step we take and if you can't get one of them to badass the fuck up and start a chain reaction of awesome it just winds up being you and your three lackeys doing all your plans.
My group organise game nights via facebook. The chatting also tends to include a lot more info, such as background inf, what we'll play next, and what the next campaign should be.
Two-three months ago, I stopped reading the chat. There's between 200 and 300 messages about the campaign, and I'm not gonna read them, because there's so much to take in.
>>46648964
Sauce on the full image?
>>46650230
>>46650230
>But I do tend to be an idea guy and I'm usually one of the first ones to go "fuck it, time to get shit done". Combine this with the tendency to play over the top big-damn heroes and often embrace half suicidal plans and you can see how this tends to leave me in the spotlight some of the time.
This is actually exactly what I've done twice lately, in two different campaigns. Both times it resulted in a temporary plot derailment and my character ending up a trainwreck. But I'm no That Guy, no sir, I always fix what I break.
And yep, while I LIKE being the big damn hero, I don't HAVE to be it. It's just that nobody else is stepping up...
(Lunk-san here, I'm back.)
>>46650230
I'm the same. I love the rush of successful teamwork. I am a take charge kind of person though, which isn't good in a group of chaotic types. So I play the muscle that gets stuff done, but even then I sometimes steal the spotlight without trying.
I stopped a demon summoning, while everyone else ran away, by hurling a chair at the mummy and breaking her concentration.
>>46649379
I wouldn't have minded that at all, it was basically just me getting upset that they weren't following the railroad tracks I laid out for them.
>>46650029
>CG paladin called "Adler"Ad(olf Hit)ler
>Crusade for the glory and righteousness of his god and people
>Max charisma and persuasion
>Slowly work the characters views into game and encourage the other characters and NPCs to help in your crusade
>When everyone is too invested in following you to turn back, pay out for a new set of armour emblazoned with "runes and symbols"
>Take out commissioned art of paladin in full plate and greatshield/sword covered in SS runes, nazi mottos and swastikas
>Try and convince your party to split your forces to continue your quest and conquer the icy wastes to the east
I have a SERIOUS problem when I'm GMing to stop myself from giving advices and suggestions to the players. Some of them are aware of this, so if I wont stop myself on time, they are just waiting until I give them the full clue I shouldn't be giving as a GM and then it's too late.
But I've managed to use that against them few times when I was controlling GMPC and they were cock-sure the GMPC can't do wrong things.
>>46650367
Hitler should have played D&D. He'd have known you never, ever, for any reason split the party.
>>46647982
I use the character flaw of alcoholism as a crutch to explain my characters violence, and all around poor decison maker.
>>46647982
I always try to get as much exposition and information about the target/area as possible and it takes forever to get anything done when it's my decision to do something. I know it takes forever though so usually when I'm done I'll sit quietly and if it gets back to me before I think it should have I'll say it's fine and to skip over me because my shit took forever. But I can never not do this. Most of the group usually ends up getting frustrated because most are dude-bros who never care about the setting, situation, or backstory of anything and just want to hurry up and get that level 90 raid gear.
So when that time comes it's usually me and one other guy who actually cares enough to rp, doing everything that we can to formulate long-term plans to kill the rest of the party outside our characters alignments just to piss them off. The rest usually never heal us, never help us, and never wait for us to do something while we do the same in kind so every campaign is always both teams turning into min-maxing faggots and doing our best to kill each other.
>>46650493
Ok, but are you from another world or time? Do you have a big sword? I mean, a giant sword?! Do you walk around shirtless and have tattoos? Do you have a character arc where you resolve to be sober and become a big damn hero?
You might be Jecht.
>>46647982
Im pretty sure normal people dont throw shitstorms out of the blue.
Atleast you felt properly embarrassed
>>46650367
I made a pally/shaman in 4e who was basically a Nazi. Absolutely no evil or chaos allowed, to the point where you basically call him evil. It was kind of shitty of me to play that character in a group of "chaotic neutrals". They ended up sacrificing him to a devil.
I don't want to railroad but I do it anyways when I run out of ideas
I usually always play female charactersI'm playing one in my current campaign but the hat of disguise makes her look like an old man
I skipped game last night to play EDH,and I liked it.
My favourite kind if character is a male human fighter with a barely existant mercenary backstory.I've been playing PnP Games for around one and a half year now and text-based RPs for around 3 years. I don't think i've gotten a dot better at it. Help.
>>46650230
Are you me?
>WE ARE ON THE CUSP OF ANNIHILATION!
>QUICK, BROTHER, LOAD THAT BALLISTA
>WIZARD, GIVE THE AMMUNITION WINGS
>AIM FOR THE WYVERN
>FOR THE GLORY OF THE LIGHT!
On the topic of gimmick characters, would you give a fighter using two shields the AC bonus of both shields? IE, +4 AC?
>>46650743
Depends on the game, but in most(all?) editions of D&D, bonuses of the same type don't stack.
>>46650743
I would.
>>46650743
One shield is going to interfere with your use of the other. Two bucklers or a shield and buckler maybe, but generally speaking you'd be lucky if I didn't penalize you for using two shields as compared to one.
>Playing Warhams
>Charge my big regen monster in unit
>Surprise anon, banner of flaming attacks!
>Monster goes down in one round of combat
>Get sulky
>"I wouldn't have charged if I knew you had the banner!"
I'm still so fucking embarrassed, it was completely out of character for me. Way to be a bad sport.
>>46647982
I've shouted at my players when they have whined or done stupid shit. Sometimes all agreed it was fair and right, but many times even I feel bad.
>>46648553
are you me?
>>46649361
WHAT'S THE SOURCE OF THIS SEMEN DEMON.
THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I LOST SAUCE. HELP ME.
>>46651207
http://exhentai.org/g/703409/161741e2dd/
>>46651279
GOD IS REAL AND HAS SPOKEN TO ME.
>>46648761
Those players don't deserve a game anyway, you did nothing wrong.
>>46651313
Hello anon, i'm God
>>46648184
You still do that, Colette.
>>46650477
>Hitler should have played D&D. He'd have known you never, ever, for any reason split the party.
Kind of like "Don't fight a 2-front war or never start a land war in Russia"?
Nooooope, fail.
>>46650906
What about a shield on my arm, and a shield on my back? Would you at least consider me shielded from all attacks in a game that uses facing?
I played VtM. That's bad enough but I went a step further and coerced the ST into letting me be an Assamite under the pretense of thinking it would offer a really cool perspective for the story, and I definitely wouldn't go out of my way to spite others.
In reality I planned to diablerize anything I could get away with. I then went out of my way to diablerize anything I could get away with in order to increase my power, story be damned.
The game ended when I successfully enabled myself to diablerize somebody important to the story who was two generations higher than myself, through trickery and force, and the ST "got interested in running a different game" but probably he was just sick of my shit.
>>46648553
If you can pull it off well, no one's going to hold it against you. Heroic paladins that aren't complete retards are a joy to behold.
>>46651313
Don't burn it off, son.
>>46650582
>>I skipped game last night to play EDH
You are the cancer, senpai.
>>46650534
I know this will just make me sound worse, but it wasn't completely out of the blue. The guy I was up against was one of those caster superiority guys and the combination of complete impotence and persistent mocking over the course of the session eventually boiled over into shouting matches over unfair balance, accusations of mental inferiority for building suboptimal characters, and arguments that may have sounded like refutations of the central premise at the time but in retrospect were actually the saltiest, more childish bullshit.
I'm really, really, REALLY tempted to play an ironic meme character. An edgy character with a fedora and a katana but I know it'll ruin the tone of the game unless it was already ridiculous and that the joke would get old after two sessions.Maybe I can have them go through character development to be normal.
>>46653740
My planned campaign is to have a running joke NPC whose last name is literally "Edgelord," who will constantly threaten to kill the entire party where they stand if he desired. The big double-joke is that 1)being twice their level, he actually could, 2)but he will eventually die in a really stupid/unfit manner unless a more entertaining option crops up. The subtlety is not strong here but I think the joke will go over well with how I plan on delivering it
I don't plan on him ever entering any combat for the majority of their interactions, so the only one who could really tell is potentially our fighter with the "know your enemy" ability for total levels, and I kind of hope he does think to check so I can see how/if he breaks it to the party when I tell him.
>>46647982
I played a female character and rolled to seduce once.
To be fair, it was one way to get the target out of a crowd before the drugs kicked in.
>>46647982
The players think they've figured out why that wizard was willing to pay so much for a newly discovered artifical flesh compound.they don't realize that his plan is to become the little girl
>>46653740
>Character development to become normal
One day his home village was unburned down and his entire family was brought back to life before his eyes. A Good god also ungranted him dark powers (because he has no need for them anymore) and cured his heterochromia. Now he quests without rest to become the greatest accountant in the land.
>>46653181
I feel you. I played Magic with a library group. Very casual. Used ancient precon decks that we got cheap. And then one night a ten year old showed up....
Tournament level BW control deck. Kid was mocking me step of the way. Three turns in and I almost flipped the table. Turn four I got up and stormed out. (No one stepped up to shut him up and to be honest it escalated to quickly I boiled over before I could catch myself. And his mom was right behind him the entire time.)
>>46647982
I'm horribly inattentive in online games
>>46654066
I see nothing wrong here. You took advantage of the guy's sexuality. That's legit. Spies do that stuff all. The. Time.
>>46649201
>>46649312
you know nobody ever does storytime on a confession like this
its a secret shame
secret
shame
>>46647982I want to ERP IRL. I wouldn't mind the mood getting awkward, people getting aroused, ashamed or getting hysterical laughing fits.I compensate by having perverted joke characters. Masochistic drow bards, lewd and flirty gunslingers, sadistic nuns etc.
>>46648553
I was like you untill I played a true neutral barbarian.
Things are way more fun when you save some people while also robbinf stores when you get the chance.
>>46650582
>skipping game to do another thing that isn't work or school related
Fuck you, man.
I make my characters deliberately have odd/disfunctional builds so that i can feel good when it actually is good. For example:
>Diplomacy and stealth character in a combat heavy system
>Fighter in PF with weird skills chosen
>Skill monkey bard in 5e that has no utility in combat other than Crown of Madness and that one cantrip that causes disadvantages
>Combat heavy characters in CoC
>Character who did nothing but become a blockade during combat and be nearly immortal to all but the hardiest of physical attacks. Will saves, however, were shit and he could be mind controlled by a fucking level 1 goblin most likely.
Yet in the end all of these characters ended up being more useful than half the party
Also when the GM isn't looking i always add 1 or 2 points of health back to my chars. They have saved me more often than i can count. Not once have the GMs i've played with caught me.
In short: I am a that guy who keeps getting away with his shit.
>>46655723
All of this was not just OK, but laudable, but
>Also when the GM isn't looking i always add 1 or 2 points of health back to my chars.
that IS shameful
>>46648711
As long as you play ugly old hag witches everything's fine.
>>46648964
This is why Roll20 should be reserved entirely fot That Guys. They find like-minded weirdos and nobody else has to play with them. Everyone wins.
I only play half-orcs with loving families.
Not a single rape-baby, just loving human/half-orc families.
>>46655906
They just need an extensive tagging system on those kinds of sites. And one convenient tag that basically states: "If you want ERP or a ridiculous half-fae snowflake character then this is not the game for you. Go away."
There was the time I snuck my momcest fetish into one of my character's backstory. I later came out and told my group when we were discussing our magical realms.
>>46656632
>There was the time I snuck my momcest fetish into one of my character's backstory
How'd you work that out?
>>46647982
I'm a terrible roleplayer and I'm awful at creating characters.
The majority of the enjoyment I get out of playing roleplaying games is trying to acciedentally killing other PCs or getting mind controlled so I can try to kill other PCs
I love loot too
>>46657208
I forgot to mention that I cheat when it comes to money
>>46647982
There's magical realm left right and center in my setting, most of it fairly subdued. Some not quite so much. Thankfully I GM for a group who's either in on the joke, or at least tolerant of it.
Once ran a full on ERP campaign in the setting and didn't have to change a damn thing.
>>46654343
>cured his heterochromia
Kekkles, perfect.
>>46657972
Does heterochromia count if one of the eyes is disabled?
>>46657972
"You can have 'em both be blue or both be gold, but what we're not gonna do is this half-and-half thing. If it was me, I'd go with blue, because that's a real eye color, but hey, they're your eyes, sweetheart."
>>46656651
>Pathfinder game
>cavalier
>character was the scion of a noble house
>exiled to be a road warden for having an affair with his mother
>fought off a famed bandit, killed him, and stole the bandit's clothes an identity, faking his death
To be fair, I didn't so much sneak in the incest as no one knew it was a fetish.
>>46647982
Every halfling I play is a Shire Weed dealer
>>46658720
I made a character who married his cousin and lived happily ever after,until he was murdered by his sister and later raised as a skeleton by his great grandchildren to become an adventurer.Or something like that. Forget how it went.
Incest is the best.
>>46650230
>>46650230
Same shit happens with me, But it's more because I love roleplaying and most of the groups I enter don't that much. It's especially bad since my DM LOVES exposition, so I have to judgde if I should step in a progress the story
I love powerplaying games as a GM
I normally set up Bayonetta style instances and make plenty of cool things pop out, so I cant really make players fail themselves since it would just break my heart to see all the momentum they've gathered fall flat.
I try to compensate by giving off good detail and reasonable plot twists every now and then
>>46657597
What's your realm look like?
>>46664880
>Main human kingdom is basically the medieval Terran Dominion. Every settlement with more than four people has a bar, and every bar has a live-in "companion" or attractive bartender.
>Kingdom directly to the south is mostly elves, where in the capital being called to serve in the king's harem is treated like getting a notice for jury duty.
>Desert wasteland has a tribe of fanatics, all women, who banish their sons when they come of age and have to raid caravans for men to replenish their own numbers.
>Race of lizard people who work a bit like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, if too many males/females are together at once they'll slowly change gender to even out the population. Bets are made between the mostly-male crews of raider ships as to who's going to return home as a woman.
>Party ran into a literal tentacle monster, who was running a cult of hypnotized servants.
>Player character demanded to buy a prostitute in a city, then spent several thousand gold to ensure it was one of the aforementioned lizard people.
>Players rescued an NPC who they found tied up and covered in candle wax in an army camp's barracks block.
Those are the most overt ones I can think of. I've been running for this group for 7-8 years now, and at one point I did actually straight up run an ERP game. That's where the monster/cult was from, among other things.
>>46648553
Me as well, but this is partially because I find it hard to otherwise give myself motivation.
I don't want to steal things, I don't really like assassinating people, and it's hard to give a character a goal I can stick with that doesn't get overwhelmed by whatever else the party does. So 'for great justice!' tends to work best.
>>46651279
Why does the link only show a panda/bear
>>46651691
No I don't, right now.
I'm playing a superstrong kid.
>>46648964
To be fair, I've never seen that picture before but it's obviously cropped porn.
>>46655906
I know a guy who tried hosting a That Guy exclussive game, just so he could see them be awful. He was so good at picking them, that they didn't show up for the first game. Twice.
Also, a guy from our proper group kinda sabotaged him by telling them what he did, because he didn't like him or something.
What happened with me, was pretty much this
>get in newbie's first campaign
>make some backstage politician
>other noobs make some very combat heavy snowflaky mary sues
>get introduced to a problem and I propose we negotiate it
>they aren't saying anything
>we negotiate it and solve everything through diplomacy
>rinse and repeat for 8 sessions
It had reached the point where I was pushing them to open their damn mouths and start roleplaying, but I still hogged the spotlight so much that it ended up being "The Welshman Talk Show, feat. some princes or something." After we changed a few players, it got even more obvious that the game was more between me and the GM with no involvement from the others.
>>46648553
This isn't a bad thing, provided they're played well.
>>46665105
>who banish their sons when they come of age
Why do they do that? What becomes of the sons?
>>46650290
>only 300 messages
I take the game too seriously also I can't stop playing myself because I suck at acting
>>46654787
Are you me? I like the idea because I'm a sadist who gets off on nervousness/embarrassment.
>>46647982
All of my characters are lolis
My personal roleplaying shame isthat I've never been able to play in a tabletop game due to having no friends.
>>46668941
Go out there and find an FLGS and sign up for their maily list.
It's not too late to change your hikkikomori ways.
>>46668941
Have you tried going on Roll20 or infrno? You can find a group that can get you started pretty easily.
>>46668941
I talked to a random guy in uni once to relieve the stress of the exam we were taking and he invited me to play. It's that easy. And I'm not a Chad, I'm a fat autist with poor people skills.
>>46668941
While most of /tg/ will say its the worst way to play, you can try virtual tabletop sites like roll20 with pretty good results. Either your group will be complete faggots full of That Guy(s) or it could be pretty chill with a group that you may end up playing with for years. They also have a lfg system to help anti-social anons and new players showing the next game schedule, how many openings are left, etc.
>>46668986
>>46669020
>>46669067
>>46669027
Thanks for the input, it means a lot, but the thought of talking to others scares me. I can barely muster the courage to post anonymously on 4chan.
>>46669175
You can try a text only game. It's always a good start.
>>46669175
Ech. I can sympathize. I was like that once.
Still am, really, I just eventually got used to posting on 4chan at least. My first experience with TRPGs came when my first group literally showed up at my house on game night and took me there. I'm not sure I would have shown up otherwise, but then again I'm also terrified of disappointing peoples' expectations in me. When I went to my FLGS for the first time after it opened, I was invited by strangers to demo a game with them. Similar situation: I risked interacting with people because I was terrified that it would be rude to leave, and I couldn't think of any excuses anyway. Those people are my friends now. My current group formed when some random people I'd met at lunch asked me if I knew anything about D&D, so now I DM for them (and we're friends too).
If these anecdotes tell you anything, let it tell you that the people who play TRPGs feel a need to share their games with other people, almost to the point of evangelizing. I wish I could show up at your house like my first group did, but as unrealistic as that might be there are people near you who could be that eager to share their hobby with you. Just keep your head up. If you can find one of these people and summon the courage to express the slightest amount of interest, they'll probably be happy to help you get started. Good luck!
>>46669067
The great thing about this is if you get a group full of That Guy(s), just try again. Reroll those dice as many fucking times as you need.
>>46650500
You're not married to the group anon just leave.
>>46647982
Almost every single time that our group plays the group is full of guys who just want to break and smash so we end up having no world-building or anything different outside a hack-and-slash video game. So usually a few hours in I'll attempt to kill the party in ways that do not make it seem obvious, either by "accidentally" setting the building we are in on fire, by "accidentally" saying the wrong thing to a touchy noble, by "accidentally" destroying our only means of escape from imminent doom, etc.
They still think that it's always a coincidence and I've succeeded in wiping the party completely over 6 times now. Last time we wiped was after we had been playing the DMs custom setting for over 3 months. We got our level 1s to 19 and were about to start some "epic" level shit as this would be our last quest till we were 20.
>lich and an ancient black dragon fighting for control of the lair
>slay literally hundreds of their servants as we fight through the dungeon
>whittle our hp down as I purposefully activate traps in preparation for the best wipe yet
>spend spell slots early on healing them from said traps to better sell my "accidental" activations
>Get to main chamber and see battle over steep cliff
>"accidentally" try too hard to see what is happening and end up falling off cliff
>someone asked if they could help pull me up but failed dex check making them fall too
>50~ damage to the both of us and the other two are too far off to get to us quickly so they jump taking damage as well
>Make a speech to the enemies how we will kill them both, making the rest of the idiotic team think I'm STILL not trying to get us killed, and enemies temporarily team up seeing as neither can hold the lair if we kill them both
>A long and arduous fight filled with 3 months worth of build-up is slowly bringing us to our knees as the bug-bites up to that point see us fall one by one
>Other players literally table-flip and leave
I should be ashamed.But I'm not.
I cannot stop playing furry characters, but I do my best the flesh them out and have a place in the setting.I don't consider this shameful
>>46647982
I once DM'd a campaign online for a few people. It was fun, everyone was having fun and looked forward to the next session.
One day, I dunno why, probably because I was tired of being foreverDM, I just dropped it. No warnings, no goodbyes, I just never logged in to the game I DM'd and never talked to my players ever since that day.
The worst thing is, I don't feel guilty about it, not one bit, even if I left people hanging.
Every game I play I pretend to be jackie chan
>>46669670
Well, you're a cunt.
Please follow the intructions.
>>46669589
I can understand the "after a few hours" attempts, but that last one is insanely awful and a waste of everyone's time.
>>46669816
>waste of everyones time
That was the whole point, to piss them off so badly that we either get new people or we change up our playstyle, and if you knew the group you probably wouldn't mind too much.
One guy just intimidates any and all chances he gets. NPC doesnt give him what he wants? Intimidate. Other players dont go along with what he wants? Intimidate. The other guy is the typical tavern/brothel dude. Are we in a town? Does it have one of the above? He's there. Never tries to help the group do anything outside dungeons and he'll just be doing rl shit on the side till we start doing some fighting. The last is the typical "16< Int means I give no shits what the uneducated plebs think" kind of guy.
>last one is insanely awful
>mfw I always play evil characters
All according to keikaku.
I completely derailed and destroyed my friends first campaign on a whim. I played a nobleman half-orc barbarian (He didn't know he was half orc, was fairly handsome except for an odd skin tone and brutish features chalked up to blue blooded heritage, wasn't formally trained for combat but had rage issues and crazy orc strength). To be fair he had this coming.
>terrible start, elderly king calls together 3 weirdos (me, a lady GaGaesque bard, drunk dwarf cleric) and tells them they are the chosen ones destined to stop the ancient evil guy from doing a thing.
> Instantly attacked in court inside massive castle by three guys, king has no guards and gets nearly choked to death.
> Pushover fight, guy who attacked king survives because I punched him out, DM has a problem when it comes to all his npcs, they all seem to insult players almost out of character.
> Assassin guy won't talk no matter what except to call people "fucking morons" and chokes on his own tongue and dies I guess.
> King recovers tells us to go to local town and find out why it was attacked.
> Go there, find guys responsible and due to me still punching people take one for information.
> Get called a fucking moron, get no information and guy just dies again. investigating town reveals nothing
> Have to go back to king to shrug our shoulders when he asks what happened.
> Missed next session (was sick) recap was they went to local mercenary camp that might have been involved in destroyed town. New player joined for session, got called a fucking moron, never played with us again.
> To explain my absence for last session, My character was preparing for a formal dance held by his family on the castle ground in my honor.
> next session starts at my dance, I'm living it up when suddenly the ballroom in the castle is invaded by orcs, just out of nowhere.
> Other players are magically teleported to my party too why not?
> kill orcs when a giant orc comes in laughs and calls me a fucking moron.
1/?
>>46647982
In my first game ever, 2e's Birthright campaign setting, I took all of my queues from ThatGuy and almost turned into one. Horrible things like cheating with the dice, meta gaming, making horrible decisions without thinking about the consequences. I even developed the magical nuke and ended up basically giving it to The Gorgon. Not to mention power gaming to the Nth degree and essentially dieing twice for stupid reasons.
>>46671564
>DM has a problem when it comes to all his npcs, they all seem to insult players almost out of character.
My DM does the same shit. He's a sassy cunt and every single one of his NPCs act the same way he does, so we can never get into character since everyone is a bitch/asshole and its always an insult contest between the DM and us.
>>46669589
Dubious. How exactly do you wind up "accidentally' doing all these things without tipping off the other players? In most TRPGs you describe your actions and roll for success: you can't game rolls for failure any more than you can purposefully roll nothing but 20s.
And some of those failures seem more than suspect in themselves. What kind of a GM makes somebody roll to look over a cliff in the first place, with the not-just-possible-but-apparently-probable outcome of having them fall the fuck off? Is it really your doing that you fell off? Wouldn't it be more accurate to ascribe that to your GM?
Something's fishy here.
2/? cont.
> Have to be told later that the bbeg has succeeded in his plans last session (we couldn't stop him btw) and became a god because reasons
> 10 minutes into session and already done with this, just resign after the big orc continues to laugh and use insider info to insult players
> Throw chair at orc, miss, throw a plate at orc and miss, then roll eyes and have my character walk away from fight.
> He just leaves, other two confused players fight more orcs as my guy walks into another room while being called a faggot by large orc.
> Gets called a fucking moron and coward by dance attendees/orcs as he opens a window and climbs thru out into the courtyard.
> Panicking peasant stops me because orcs have invaded the town suddenly. Recognizes me and calls me a coward as I walk to the nearby stables.
> Horses all dead, shrug and walk out of town heading for the next neighboring kingdom.
> Should have just left the table then but decided to see how far the dm would go to put me back on the rails.
> Get attacked by wolves, try to feed myself to them but turns out they are messengers from the god of battle here to set me straight.
> Tell them if the gods need me to fight they should give me a weapon, so a wolf literally coughs up a sword for me. I told the wolf I don't use swords and put the sword back. I want an axe.
> Wolf tells me to travel to holy city and acquire everything the gods can offer to return me to my quest.
> Other players leave city unscathed and apparently still under siege, get horses catch up to me after I get to holy city.
> After consulting the gods indirectly they actually say they cannot help fight against new evil god guy because reasons but the powers of the chosen ones will suffice.
> Tell them to sod off until I get something anyway. They give me the axe I wanted, I asked him to describe it.
> Think axe looks too gaudy and give it to the dwarf, said I would take the sword I guess. He actually gives me the sword back.
cont
>>46665483
>kid
Well, you're still playing shotas it seems.
>>46647982
I used to play an edgy warlock with a crow motif who had an interdimensional tower-mansion where he kept all the secrets of everyone ever. He used a magic scythe to kill people and was pretty much The Best Magicman Ever.
In the course of the years in which I played him I spent most of my time looking down my nose at other people's shitty characters and throwing a fucking fit whenever people didn't play to my character exactly how I wanted.
I was such a fucking tryhard and it hurts me to this day.
>>46670812
It must be a miserable existence, feeling like the best/only way to influence your friends is to spoil their happiness.
2/3 cont.
By this point I am just being a dick,. I should have just quit while I was ahead because despite him dming like ass he's still a good guy sorta. My Shame I guess is when I started to enjoy shitting up his campaign.
> Remotivated by the group and equipment I decide to reengage the rails and go back to kingdom to save them from orcs I guess.
> On way back encounter large group of hobgoblins marching to kingdom to reinforce orcs. Their leader singles me out for honorable combat while the other two fight mooks.
> Miss first round with axe and for my troubles get called a fucking moron and laughed at.
> Throw down axe and beat leader to death with fists (just barely) and claim myself as new leader of hobgoblins.
> Tell them to make camp and they do ,and while they are asleep I wake the others and we murder most of them in their sleep quietly.
> One finally wakes up and tells the others, I tell them they were planning to mutiny and as long as you're loyal you should go back to sleep.
> They go back to sleep.
> We murder the rest and continue on our noble quest.
> arrive at kingdom, it is destroyed and the king is hung outside his castle, tries to shame me for my cowardice but i give no fucks.
> Bbeg second in command, Notdrizztdo'erden attacks us with armored bears on steps outside castle, no orcs in sight.
> Charge him, punch him and throw him downstairs ending the fight with him almost comically broken 30 steps below 2 rounds in.
> Can tell dm is planning to make him a reoccuring villain, end up making him a cripple and then choking him to death.
> DM is mad now, not even pretexting his insults with npc banter anymore.
> session ends with me telling him his story blew, his dming is bad and he should feel bad.
> We never play anything together ever again but still hang out, so I guess it worked out.
I still feel bad when I think about my hopefully only time i ever became that guy.
>>46671940
It would have been tolerable had it been clever or varied but nearly every time I spoke to an npc I was called a fucking moron or stupid. Not to mention all the times they made fun of my guy for being a half orc when the whole idea of the character is that he doesn't know that himself and it wasn't glaringly obvious.
>>46647982
I once flipped my shit at a DM, basically throwing a tantrum until I got my way and the DM reversed her decision so I'd shut up.
I'm not proud of this moment, but in my defense, she had just castrated my character for no reason with no chance to avoid it in the middle of a "light-hearted joke campaign."
I never ran in any games she DMed again.
>>46672104
>Inside a wooden building at night, surrounded by enemies but are being semi stealthy, and then someone gets caught
>Me - "drop my torch on the ground and get my shield out"
>DM - "Are you sure you do that."
>Me - "Yes" (as i curl my obvious bad guy mustache)
>DM - "Alright then..."
>A few turns later he says the floor has caught fire and is spreading
>Know that there is only one mechanism to allow entry (lever, pulley, etc.)
>Get into area with boss fight
>Me - "We can't let it escape!"
>Proceed to destroy mechanism before anything else and team agrees it was the best course of action
>mustache curling intensifies
>Fight with lich and dragon
>Dragon was frightened and ran into the cliff face while I was on the edge
>DM - Roll dex save
>Had one level of exhaustion from how fast we decided to move into the dungeon and all the traps that were sprung so I failed it.
It's not as if I say out loud "I fall off the cliff lol" like an idiot. You do things that seem like a good course of action at the time or things that can spark an entire chain of events.
>>46672259
>Say that they need to get more into the game
>Get called a faggot
>To stop checking facebook and just play already
>Get called a nerd
>Having to constantly remind them of what we are doing every 30 minutes because they zoned out and stopped giving a fuck just because we weren't in auto-combat mode
>"How can you remember all this boring stuff lol"
It is everything but miserable. The rush when they table-flipped was the best thing to happen this year.
>>46647982
I played as a slutty androgynous ninja, Slept with the king to get discounts and stuff.
>>46671564
>>46672146
>>46672612
Please remember to put your story in order.
It is too entertaining to be so unorganised.
>>46647982
I sperged hard when my first character died.
>Playing RT with friends as navigator
>GM thinks he knows quite a bit about 40k
>from memes
>on RT ship and end up getting a mutation after some calculations of CO
>voidmaster witnessing this and not knowing much about 40k in general decides it's a great idea to punch my head
"Hurr roll to hit...okay and damage...death"
Instakill
Ended bitching for a few hours about every little thing that was wrong with the situation and how fucked someone would be for intentionally killing a navigator.
Made an oversexed, red-headed stripper Malkavian who was schizophrenic.
I always end up playing a super special snowflake or starting race wars.
Our current one is Shadowrun were we started race riots between Dwarfs and orcs.I don't mean to be a bad person or special, I'm just the guy who ends dragging everybody else along the plot and fuck up badly along the way ;-;
>>46672612
Maybe there was a reason for it all. Maybe unbeknownst to you, DM had decided that your character was saddled with a curse that causes everyone to call him a fucking moron.
>>46668785
You must be one of my players.
>>46649863
Agree. Makes the GM feel like shit and makes the guy who leaves look like a dick.
Played 3 drow and each one of them got killed by the group because I played evil and they were all N or G.
Played a 6 year old girl who was basically Alice from the story who was actually half demon and her father was a pit lord who for some reason really liked his daughter and doted on her.
So she would get scared and use 30ft shatter and I would roll a 100% chance die to see if her daddy appeared to help the party.
He showed up once against the BBEG dragon boss and literally tore its head off.
>>46648553
I always play utilitarian, pacifist support wizards. I'm like a heal slut except I just make everyone else Hasted, Invisible, and Flying.
>>46650105>trapped
>Probably means so deep in their magical realm they don't want out.
