/tg/ a demon has infiltrated your home. All your windows have been sealed by magic and cannot be open and your attempts at breaking it with your metal chair is fruitless. The only way out is the front door. There's only one problem, a single touch of the demon will render your heart stopped. Permanently.
You still have your trusty chair and you've closed the door to your room so you have a moment to thing, how will you escape?
Will you:
[A] Rush the demon with your metal chair.
[B] Rush the front door.
[C] Stay in your room and hope it goes away.
[D] Negotiate with the demon.
[E] Other?
>>46643030
Laugh because an idiot demon just locked itself in my house.
>>46643030
[E]
Give us a diagram of the house with measurements plus approximate speed of the demon so we can calculate the most optimal escape route.
>>46643030
Begin reciting passages from the various religious texts I have lying around till one sticks.
>>46643030
[E] Other
stand in front of demon taunting
screw life
>>46643047
Basically using the velociraptor method. Can't find the exact pic but it's in the same vein.
>>46643030
>[B] Rush the front door.
>>46643030
>>46643052Christus vivit. Christus regnat. Christus ab omni malo te defendat. Maledicti et Excommunicati daemones, invirtute istorum factorum Dei, nominum; Mesias, Emmanuel, Sohter, Sabahot, Agios, Inchiros, Athanatos, Jehová, Adonay et Tetragrámmaton, vos constrigumus, et separamus a creatura ista Daemon, et ab omni loco et domo ubi fuerint haec nomina, et digna Dei, praecipimus vobis, atque ligamus vos ut non habeatis potestatem per pesten, nec per aliquod quodeumque maleficium nocere ei, incantationem, neque, in anima, nec in corpore.
Ite, ite,ite, maldeicti, in stagnum ignis, sive ad loca vobis a Deo assignata. Imperat vobis Deu signarse Pater, Imperat vobis Deu signarse Filius. Imperat vobis Deus signarse Spiritus Sanctus. Imperat vobis Santísima Trinita unus Deus.
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>46643030
I roll to seduce
>>46643205
Well, someone's heart skipped a beat.
Unfortunately it's yours. Permanently.
>>46643205
>>46643222
>>46643205
As do I
Dice+1d20
>>46643242
Curse this human technology.
Back in the day you just carved some some skulls into dice and threw them.
dice+1d20
>>46643030
I'll just sit here and recite my decades of depression in poem form.
Not even a demon from Hell could stand to listen to it for more than a couple seconds.
He'd fuck off after he realized how pathetic I was and I'd continue to mope and shitpost on 4chan, probably about how a demon didn't just fucking end me like I'd hope.
Maybe microwave a chicken sandwich or something afterwards, I guess.
>>46643272
Well fuck.
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>46643279
>rolling for Demon-chan because he's such a faggot
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>46643279
>>46643030
[E] Grab all the bedsheets to make a makeshift armor before sneaking outside of my room
>>46643331
Best answer
>>46643030
negotiate with the demo, figure out why it's here
if it is hostile, throw salt at it
>>46643047
You haven't seen the demon but heard it declare it's malicious intent after it magically sealed your windows.
>>46643062
You taunt the demon, but you can't quit muster the courage to unlock your bedroom door to do it in its face. The demon remains quiet. Maybe it left?
>>46643205
You moan seductively, hoping to garner its attention. Silence.
>>46643331
Robing yourself in bed sheets, you quietly take the silence as opportune time to make your escape. You creep towards the staircase, and notice the lights are out downstairs. That's odd, you could of sworn it was morning.
[A] Get a flash light
[B] Light your bed sheet on fire and use it as a torch.
[C] Light yourself on fire and use yourself as a torch.
[D] As the demon if he could turn on the lights.
[E] Rush the front door.
[F] Feel your way to the front door.
[G] Other
>>46643373
salt won't make him less hostile senpai
like really if i were mad and some fucker threw salt at me i would punch him right in the kisser for being such a cunt even if salt had some effect on my incorporeal body or something i would like bypass that weakness and still punch him
like metaphysical punch him or something
>>46643384
ask the demon if it could turn on the lights
ask to make a deal
>>46643030
I live in a tiny single room building separated from any nearby structures. My computer chair is literally right next to my front door. So is my toilet and my bed.
>>46643384
[A] Get a flashlight
Afterwards get out of the room but take my sweet time while advancing, lighting the floor close to my feet so that I can see my immediate surroundings without drawing attention at the expense of my overall sight. At the first sign of being spotted, use the flashlight as usual and run to whatever route seems closer to the main entrance
>>46643030
>E
I smack him with the chair and confront him over his impressive use of special effects to seal my house in a thirty second clip of exposition, then rip off his mask and reveal him to be the strange old man who lives across the street.
>>46643030
Knock Knock
>Whose there?
Five
>Five who?FIVE ROUNDS RAPID
>>46643384
HOLD IT!
I live in a single story house with no basement, and there are no stairs anywhere on the premises (the attic is accessed without stairs or a ladder, just a hole in the ceiling!) thus the demon could not possibly have locked me in MY house!
Therefore this is merely a dream or hallucination!
Is the chair iron?
>>46643617
I dunno, but it's probablycold
>>46643625
maybe it could use a hug
>>46643625
No one expects the steel bedroom chair that has been folded over one thousand times.
No one.
>>46643384
[D]
>>46643673
>tfw you were going to fakeout a spanish inquisition joke with DIO
>but DIO is british so you can't use "spanish" as a segway
Fuck.
>>46643425
>>46643591
Remembering this as you look down the stairs, you find your current predicament quite peculiar. You contemplate using your toilet as your desk chair to save room in your cramped apartment, but alas that'll have to wait until another time.
>>46643397
>>46643720
You politely call out for the Demon to please flip on the light switches. You hear a click, but the stairs gets even darker.
>>46643438
Returning to your room, you grab a flashlight and point it at your feet, under the bed sheets to hide your movement. As you make your way down the stairs, you hear breathing.
As per procedure, on first sign of being spotted you throw the bed sheet at the demon, covering its face and make a run for the front door. Grabbing the door knob, you throw the door open and see outside isn't the streets you know but leads directly into a dark forest.
[A] Run out into the forest armed with only your flash light.
[B] Take the moment that the demon is fighting with the bed sheet to run in and grab something to bring with you.
[C] Go back to your room and sleep off this whole bad trip.
[D] Go make breakfast before you go, because no one should start a bad day without breakfast.
[E] Other
>>46643863
>You hear a click, but the stairs gets even darker.
Smarmy fuck.
If he catches us, we should appeal to his sense of humor.
>>46643863
HOLD IT!
That forest lacks a canopy as the trees are all observably dead! And as we all know, branches alone do not provide enough cover to meaningfully darken a forest! Yet from the color of the light present we can determine it is midday when the sun shines as a yellow-whit hue! This means that the forest could not possibly be this dark! Further, trees won't naturally grow so close together, else they wouldn't grow tall enough to provide even a faux-canopy with branches before they were starved of nutrients!
In conclusion, this forest isn't real and holds no grounds in this contest of survival and should be disbarred!
>>46644080
Phoenix, you're drunk.
>>46643863
[A] Run out into the forest armed with only your flash light.
Hey, what's the worst thing that could happen? Right?
>>46644152
OBJECTION!
Irrelevant to the current case!
(It was also only twelve beers.)
>>46644346
Phoenix, you aren't even in a court room right now.
No, this isn't a trail via internet.
Yes Phoenix you're on 4chan.
Go to sleep Phoenix and think about what you've done.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>46643863
[E] Other
Persuasion roll.
"Eldritch being, let's have us a game of riddles. You've lived eons, you know some. 3 riddles. 3 or 2 wrong, you get what you want. 1 wrong, we renegotiate. None wrong and you undo everything you've done."
>>46643863
[E] Other
Persuasion roll.
"Eldritch being, let's have us a game of Yu-Gi-Oh. You've lived eons, you have a good collection of Yu-Gi-Oh cards. 3 games. 3 or 2 lost, you banish me to the shadow realm. 1 lost, we renegotiate. None lost and you give me your heart of cards."
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>46643030
I roll to intimidate
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)
I roll to befriend it!
The bonus applies because I'm THAT pathetic and the demon must be interested in something from me personality wise, since I'm THAT pathetic!
