What's in a beholder's lair?
besides a beholder, obviously
>>46634580
>lots of spare eyeballs of various sizes
Corpses, as well as eyeball fetishist.
>>46634580
>lots of pairs of eyeglasses
mirrors
>>46634580
Lords of Madness: The Book of Aberrations goes into a lot of detail about what's in a Beholder's lair, and it also addresses the construction and look of the lairs. It's like a series of round tunnels that go in lots of directions. Most Beholders like to hold onto magical trinkets and treasure to sate their naturally huge egos and pompous demeanor.
It's also filled with their servants and the corpses of dead adventurers.
>>46634580
Library full of fantasy paperbacks.
>>46634625
>Eyeglasses for a monocular beast
>>46634795
>lots of snapped eyeglasses and a halfling slave forced to forge them into monacles
>>46634580
A pillow.
bottles of saline solution.
A NEET bedroom
chocobo racing forms. A list of bookies names with one disintegration line through half of them
>>46635211
Copy of Eyeglasses Trendy.
headless skeletons with warm woolen scarves.
Book titled "Telekinesis and Fashion"
Mindflayer chips (now with mole sauce!)
>>46634580
Beauty.
To explain: Beholders are, in a sense, like magpies. Their lairs are chock full of items that the beholder has collected because he finds them to be aesthetically pleasing: an art museum of sorts. To the outsider, however, these objects would look strange, kitschy, and eclectic, or even like a collection of pure junk. Every beholder has his own unique aesthetic sense, encompassing items that look bizarre or ugly not only to other beings, but even to fellow beholders. Even though a beholder's collection might seem like a bunch of disjointed garbage to everyone else, to the owner the items appear harmonious and elegant, the highest form of art. This is becausebeauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A rack of bottles of alchemical extracts: including aboleth mucus, puree of dark elf ear wax, diluted dragon's bile, and illthid slime.
A book, "Combating Conjunctivitis" describing medical uses for the same.
Extremely bored beautician with master ranks in profession.
Tweezers of accuracy +5
Book: Help for the Hand-less, Hugging your Inner Child Without Arms.
Fancy cigars in a mahogany humidor. Each cigar has a cigar band with a pulsating red rune.
The rune, when translated, lights the cigar perfectly without a heat source.
a surprisingly modern array of masterwork crafted hats.
Includes: Trilby, Stetson, Raspberry Beret, Fascinator, and a suspiciously lacy oversized red bow.
an aquarium with 1d6 well fed air-swimming remora next to a calendar with dental appointments circled in red.
A seven foot tall master crafted Corinthian column carved of the finest traverntine marble. Atop the column is a luxuriously soft dog bed. Throw pillows abound.
The dog bed is stitched with "Fido" in electrum. Canine not present.
>>46635772
Alright I'll admit, you got me
an unphaseable grizzled goblin behind a bar/kitchenette.
He greets the party with "What'llitbe Jack"? and a surly stare as he continues wiping a stack of glass punch bowls to sparkling clarity.
Excellent choice of spirits included.
Telescope directed at a stable foot in diameter interdimentional portal
Mirrors so in case the rays miss they can bounce back and hit someone at an angle.
>>46635772
10/10
>>46636798
>beholder found petrified in own lair due to laser mishap
>>46635772
It seems so obvious in retrospect...
>>46635772
You motherfucker. 10/10
>>46634580
Well, Beholders are awesomely narcissistic and elitist. I'd say they'd wish to find objects which remind them of certain traits of theirs. Rarely anything which can capture any larger aspect of their grandeur, but individual items describing part of the greatest whole. Only one item for each aspect it sees in itself, the greatest it can find: and if it's not great enough, the trait will ge unrepresented for now. Some manner of aesthetic layout as well, something it identifies with that also describes what importance it puts on the traits that are being represented. An altar, dedicated to itself. To itself, it's a declaration of perfection: to the perceptive observer, a map of its psyche, and a clue to lead to its downfall. A Beholder is an enemy you most likely want to know, in order to deceive and defeat it.
Wall to wall, floor to ceiling pornography.
>>46634580
It's full of stuff like mashed potatoes and carrots.
Some glass shards.
Usually a skeleton arm or two.
A scroll 1d7 level
A bowl of hard boiled eggs.
Statues of mermaids with tits.
A chalice.
An elf chained to the wall.
And sometimes a collection of forks.
There's bound to be a room with a pit above it many dried herbs are hanging.
If the adventurers decend into the pit they will find themself in a sheer walled room filled to shoulder height with beholder poop.
No one ever remembers that you gotta poop!
>>46635772
*golf clap*
>>46634580
Things that were beheld.
>>46634580
Grant's tomb
>>46640889
>an elf chained to the wall
Even Beholders rape elves, Christ.
>>46641447
it's not rape, if it's an elf
>>46640761
I am too tired to be browsing this thread
>>46635772
oh shi-whaa-niiiiiiice
A large collection of fancy gloves.
If your players hide inside to see what the beholder does with them, say the beholder returns to the lair, telekinetically places another pair of gloves on the shelf, looks at his collection longingly and leaves to bed.
>>46641656
Don't forget the shelves full of dress shoes.
Pictures of adventurer sempai.
>>46634580
My crossbow. We were sneaking about a beholder's lair, when he popped out like a motherfucker shooting death rays like a champion. So, I ducked and cover and dropped my crossbow and ran like hell, never to return.
It was a new crossbow that was a gift from my NPC cousin. I called it Jerry. I miss Jerry so much. Fucking beholders, man.
>>46634787
>protected by at least 6d6 CR 20 traps
>>46635772
Respectful fuck you
>>46636200
>>46637096
>>46637191
this is the exact joke of why Eye Tyrants are called Beholders at all, straight from gygax's time
>>46635772
Nigga...
>>46641447
>>46641461
>missing the bowl of hard boiled eggs
>"You don't have to tell me what level they were, but you do have to eat these."
Clearly he found her after a party of adventurers had their way with her. She's chained up so he can properly explain before she flees screaming.
>>46634580
creatures turned to stone also adorne the walls like trophies. A lot of books too. Beholders spend a lot of their time researching as they should, it's in their religion.
>>46634580
Contact lenses
Imax screens and 3d glasses.
>>46635772
>8 replies from people who didn't understand why Beholders were named Beholders.
>The person they're replying to is still wrong.
What the fug.
>>46650595
So what is the reason then?
I'm curious.
>>46650595
Ok wise ass, what is the actual reason then?
>>46650595
(You)
Make-up. Specifically, eyeshadow. Unless there's no light source.
Mirrors. Mirrors everywhere.
>>46634580
Spiders and Terracotta Warriors, apparrently. Also loot.
>>46635772
