After a long and arduous battle, you have slain Mark Rosewater and claimed his title as Head Designer.
what u do
>>46632440
Do what he never could
KILL MAGIC THE GATHERING
>>46632440
Plot the downfall of the rest of the Jewish Illuminati.
>>46632440
Make the cards lewder.
>>46632440
KAMIGAWA
A
M
I
G
A
W
A
>>46632440
I immediately add a creature named after me.
>>46632440
Design heads.
More queer characters.
>>46632440
Make a spinoff for different genres of sci-fi, cyberpunk, film noir, and others, and have them cross compatible like munchkin because I'd find it hilarious.
Stop printing blue sources of mana in new sets.
See what happens...
>>46632765
That's... not the worst idea I've ever heard.
>"Return to Lorwyn" (weak story, focused on setting)
>Muraganda: Dinosaurs n' shit.
>Phyrexia VS Eldrazi (massive power creep followed by hilarious bans)
Also, the Mending, fuck MTG lore. I want to see Dominaria again.
>>46632440
Egypt plane with no Black People, all characters are modeled after actual Egyptians.
Wild West plane with Spell Gun Slingers.Return to Kamigawa.
No Jace in sight for any of them.
>>46632440
Time Spiral-esque supplemental set.
>>46632440
All damage is now Wither, and all cards with Wither now have Infect.
No, there's no good reason for this.
>>46632440
>what u do
Kill off Jace in a spectacular clusterfuck of black magic.
>>46632440
Try to make more interesting formats or ways to play. Like a full ruleset for a tabletop game based on using your deck size, deck composition, and life total as your character. Maybe even a commander style thing. Then make that a LGS thing like D&D Encounters or Theros' Hero's Path. That way, people can have a fun cooperative casual game to play.
>>46632953
>not having a couple Jace sorcery cards of him working as the guildpact stuck behind a desk
>>46633058
>A Jace Planeswalker whose abilities are pure bureaucracy that don't effect or advance the game in any way.
>>46632811
>Stop printing blue
fixed that for you
>>46632533
They already did that.
Remove Reserve List.
Destroy the Jews.
>>46632440
Quit filling the game with affirmative action quotas for women, minorities and LGBTs.
Start pushing right-wing politics through the story and characters.
Print cards deliberately to trigger feminists/SJWs, such as a trans villain and lots of prostitutes.
Replace him with a robot.
>>46632440
Give Red an Enchantment removal card called Noggin Whack or something in the same vein as Black's Edict cards.
>>46632440
My set has functional reprints of all the relevant Reserved List cards. The story takes place inKamigawa. There are noplaneswalker cards in it.
>>46632897
This is actually worse than what MaRo is currently doing. Good job
>>46632953
>there were no black people in anceint egypt
>ancient egyptian royalty looked like white europeans
kek
>>46633901
>My set has functional reprints of all the relevant Reserved List cards.
The Reserved List forbids functional reprints. If you want to keep the letter of the law but make collectors spit with fury, make just-slightly strictly better "reprints" that are legal in Modern, Legacy, and Vintage, but not Standard. Like dual lands that enter untapped but give 1 life as they enter play, or a Black Lotus that can be returned from the graveyard to play for 4 mana. And they're all uncommons.
>>46633509
clap clap!
>>46634037
Or alternatively don't even bother with that and just eliminate the reserve list entirely.
>>46634785
That's not as hilariously spiteful, though
>>46632440
I release a shitton of expansions, but only in limited numbers. I only print them for a month before their production is stopped indefinently.
Then I move on to the next xpack.
Soon, all decks will be over a thousand dollars, I will be unstoppable!
>>46633509
Coincidentally there's one for you as well.
>>46632440
Day 1
>Take reserve list cards
>Reprint them EXACTLY as they were originally printed. Same paper, same art, same frame, same expansion symbol, same misprints. The new ones should be indistinguishable from the originals save for their age.
>Four copies of each will be packaged sold together in a giant box of cards Netrunner-style under the product name "Magic: the Gathering - Fuck the Collectors"
Day 2
>Reprint Counterspell in a standard legal set
>Expand conditional or soft counters to green and white
>Make a design rule, no more colored artifacts
>Similary, no more DFCs (double faced cards... not the other type of DFC, that can stay)
>Make red great again
Day 3
>Commit sudoku before the power corrupts me
>>46636989
>Conditional counter spells to green
Nigga you fucked up
>>46636952
Would "Dumb Ass" be white, "Bad Ass" be black, "Assmad" be red, and "Clockwork Ass" an artifact?
Tap: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!
>>46632479
This, because metal bikinis and elf tits.
>>46632499
This, because fuck not explaining Myojin of Night Reach's shit.
>>46632972
This, because it's an excuse to fuck neowalkers and fuck Bolas.
>>46636989
>Reprint Counterspell in a standard legal set
This, because up yours Modern.
>Similary, no more DFCs
Also this, because this seems like a design oversight in a game where you protect your investment with sleeves.
I'd also make a From the Vault based around Magic's original artists from before the digital art era like Spencer, Hoover, Guay, Nielson and whoever else I'm forgetting.
Except for Phil Foglio. Fuck that guy.
>>46637364
They already have some, mostly about countering blue and black.
1. Undo NWO
2. Return to kamigawa and then Lorwyn, each of which features the jacetice league dying horribly
3. Ban all jace cards from all formats forever
4. Fire the art director and almost all current MTG artists
5. Chainmail bikinis whenever possible
6. Make a card where narset literally gets raped
>>46637364
>>46638065
Give each color its own condition. White pay mana, green pay life, black sac creatures, red sac non-creatures. That fits the existing distribution (white taxes) and gives red enchantment removal and a new form of land destruction.
>>46634012
No, Egyptians looked like Egyptians. They are a seperate and distinct ethnic group.
Yes, there was a Nubian dynasty, but they only lasted for about 100 years and were very late in Egypt's history.
>ITT people who don't know what MaRo can and can't do think they are better at his job than him.
You know it's not because it's the only wizard employee you know that he can decide of everything.
>>46633607
So edgy XD
>>46638446
Only the third sentence is at all edgy, and even then the point isn't to be edgy for the sake of being edgy.
I'd print a cycle of Lotus' and "forget" to give one to a random color, just to watch the ass-rage over it.
>>46633607
http://markrosewater.tumblr.com/post/142697166033/is-it-okay-to-call-a-judge-on-someone-whos-using
>>46638466
Come on, on everybody know that on 4chan "right wing politics" mean "GAZ THE KIKE RACE WAR NOW!"
>>46632440
END THE RESERVED LIST
POORFAGS REJOICE
COLLECTORS ON SUICIDE WATCH
>>46637398
You're not that far off from the actual cards
White = Cheap Ass
Black = Bad Ass
Red = Dumb Ass
>>46638484
shut the fuck up Maro or I'll rape your face.
>>46638484
>>46632440
Bring back scary magic.
>>46639191
We are on fucking Innistrad.
>>46632440
>Show up to work dressed in his clothes wearing a death mask made from his face
>Pretend that nothing is unusual about this
>Begin with a concerted push towards five major goals
>1: expanded print runs for supplemental products aimed at Modern and Legacy
>2: Eternal Masters and Modern Masters every summer
>3: Singleton as a supported paper format
>4: Reduce the amount of digital art, bring back older artists
>5: Release another block like Time Spiral
>>46632440
Eat his heart. Then nerf average creature strength into the ground.
>>46639335
I'm talking about scary magic like draw ten off a T1 necro after wining a counter war over it. Not spoopy ghosts and skeletons.
>>46632645
top qual
>>46636989
Reprinting ABU cards is good and expaning the design space for bant colors while buffing red is great. So what will you do to get the black vote?
>>46634012
yes actually a lot of them were pale redheads in fact.
>>46632440
Both of those men have vanished from the earth in search of untapped pools of liquid light.
>>46639365
Do you believe in love at first shitpost?
>>46633541
I'm pretty sure rosewater does not have the power to abolish the reserve list if he did we would have seen it removed long ago.
>>46639588
>>46633607
We did have a transexual villan remember
Also for fucks sake the word is transexual not trans. transexuals are more accepted now and that's great but do we really need to ruin a perfectly good prefix to do it.
>>46636989
Getting counterspell reprinted is something you have to get past development not design
>>46638404
The people thinking he has any power over the reserve list doesent bother me people are just so desperate to see it go they post it without thinking but the people who can't understand the difrence between design and development really bother me
>>46637783
>Also this, because this seems like a design oversight in a game where you protect your investment with sleeves.
DFCs don't work without sleeves, though. Just double sleeve them.
>>46632440
Put EVERY 'rare' card into a lego style order system and laugh as everyone can buy every card.
Totally fuck up the ENTIRE economy of MTG.
>>46639964
Although come to think of it is tempating design or development if it's design then get rid of that godawful his/her shit and just say there you don't need to list both genders when there is a perfectly acceptable gender neutral word.
>>46638258
>>46632440
Reprint the Urza block.
>>46640024
>DFCs don't work without sleeves, though. Just double sleeve them.
THIS is the problem. Why would you make cards that literally can't be played without sleeves and then even with sleeves they are incredibly awkward to play with because you keep having to take them out of the sleeves.
Return to Tarkir, dragons get fucked.
>>46640635
>what are stand in cards
You can play them without sleeves no problem
I'll announce that I intend to continue killing Wizards off until they announce a new Un-expansion.
Urza planeswalker.
>>46632953
>Wild West plane with Spell Gun Slingers
Fuck, I never realized how much I wanted that
>>46640635
>Put Marked Checklist card in your sleeved deck
>Put DFC in clear sleeve, set to the side
>When Checklist card is played, put it on field and put DFC on top of it
>Flip DFC as needed.
>>46640045
You could charge five dollars a piece, and it would still be better than the system we have now.
>>46639885
No, the proper word is trans. The trans community calls themselves that so that's the word people are "supposed" to use. The word transsexual is actually offensive to them, same with tranny and fucking-nutjob for some reason.
>follow through on establishing Ravnica as some sort of hub world; guilds all have a new mechanic that functions as a callback to another plane, and have a planeswalker (only some of which get cards) that is from said plane
>retry the legend theme set, perhaps by returning to Kamigawa; this time don't shit the bed with horrible mechanics and blame it on the theme
>expand countering and bounce to more than one color
>in a few years, time spiral again; nostalgia set is easy, planar chaos we redo by creating functional reprints of color break cards in their correct color, future sight we throw as much shit at the wall as we can
>>46632440
Bring back symmetrical effects.
>>46632440
I'd make a set based loosely on the underdark, and make it the home plane of Marit Lage
>White gets myr, and keyword Salvage (you may exile an artifact from your yard to reduce casting cost)
White legendary would be Myr Mind that lets you take control of enemy artifacts
>Blue gets merfolk and keyword Recover (whenever you discard a card, get effect)
Blue legendary would be Chasm Breeder, pay mana, tap creature, get a 1/1
>Black gets elves and keyword Enslave (tap another creature you control, get effect)
Black Legendary would be Mistress of Chains, exiles all tapped creatures on EtB, gets +1/+1s, they come back when she leaves
>Red gets goblins, they will assemble contraptions
Red Legendary will be a rigger lord
>Green has thallids, keyword Regrowth X (when it dies, put X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control)
Green Legendary would be goyf at 3 cmc
Plot involves Karn reinforcing the myr so they can join with the drow and push back the illithids. He gets in a fight with an illithid planeswalker that's trying to bring phyrexian oil into the plane in a bid for power.
Next set would be a sliver war on Dominaria
I imagine at this point you want me to fuck of back to /ccg/ so I'll stop
I would reprint all lands, even those at the reserved list at common.
Create a decent eternal core-set for standard and develop the new expansions around it,
Playtest them for Modern and Eternal formats before the release.
Support and fund new formats, releasing cards and even sets designed for them.
>>46638965
Best answer famfampai
>>46638484
This country is fucked
Release new cards that are better and more powerful than any previous ones.
>>46639885
>We did have a transexual villan remember
Don't follow the story. Who was that?
>>46641817
I'd vote for you.
Work within my power to correct the wrongs i personally feel are prevalent in mtg, realize I'm just a convenient figurehead incapable of actually fixing anything, then assume my place as the ultimate villain. If i cannot make the changes myself I will be everything wrong with mtg so that those who can influence change, the consumers, might be rallied into action against me. Then i will remember that mtg players are faggots and would rather pay the exorbitant prices so that they can bitch about how much they spend instead of trying to get wizards to actually change anything. So in the end I'll just enjoy my cushy job and pseudo-celebrity status.
>>46632440
Reprint bazaar of baghdad and cabal therapy.
Unban dread return.
Gas the formats, dredge wars now.
1. Make a lore summary, and divide it into settings
2. License out RTS or RPG games to companies for spin off for PC/PS4/Vita/Xbone/3DS/WiiU
3. All games end with a card battle with fixed decks to marked the games
>>46632440
>Copy Yugioh and reprint expensive cards in tins and premades after its set is out of print
>fuck you secondary market
>expeditions of expensive cards in every set based on the set's theme
>count my shekels
>>46632440
1)Allow all mechanics to be reused when it is appropriate fluff-wise instead of trying to force new ones that don't work well.
2)Kamigawa II: Myojin Boogaloo
3)Bring back Phil Foglio
4)Axe the awful CGI shit
5)Stop trying to plop in Plansewalkers where they don't need to be and actually write a good story
6)Fuck bitches
7)Get money.
>>46632440
Colorpie gets changed. Now, every color gets card draw, just flavored based on color.
Blue has more knowledge, so they get cards like "scry 3 draw 2"
Black gets the very efficient pay x life draw x cards.
Looting becomes red, brainstorm becomes red.
Green gets creature based card draw, like green mulldrifter
White gets fucked, gtfo my game
>>46634012
>It's ok to delete native races when they're replaced with africans!
Why are tumblerites so massively racist?
t. mediteranean people, greek people in special
>>46640079
Templating is neither, actually, it comes after development.
Make Storm evergreen.
Return to kamigawa.
Reprint cabal therapy, force of will, wasteland, rishadan port, and brainstorm in rtk.
New land policy starting in rtk: good lands will never be printed at rare or mythic. Uncommon duals and fetches in rtk.
Abolish the reserve list for vintage Masters.
Fire the RC, ban Sol ring.
Bring urza back, he was alive the entire time.
Continue doing the seven year plan
not do as much as Maro because I'm lazy
ultimately fail and get fired by Wizards.
>>46638382
>>46648339
Actually there were afew blacks in Egypt no doubt, mostly from Nubia probably but they were there.
Saying egypt had no blacks would be like saying America doesn't have any hispanics.
Givem full control, I would make the reserve list an official document, loosen up the art direction, change the story direction and end NWO
>>46639365
Literally none of that is under Maro's control.
The artist thing in particular is because Hasbro has a fucktarded pay system stuck in the 90s for them, making it not worth it for the good artists.
>>46632479
Came here for this.
Also give green more shit.
>>46652386
>green
Are you fucking kidding me? Green is second best at drawing cards, has amazing removal thanks to fight (and now better fight), ramps when other colors aren't even allowed fast mana any more, and is the creature color in a game better known as Magic: the Tappening. Green has loads of shit. The color whose slice of the pie remains the smallest is clearly red.
>>46632440
I know exactly what I'd do. I've been planning my uprising for a long time.
>Demand the abolition of the reserve list
>Start printing Tribal cards again
>Make instant a supertype
>Update the card back
>Return to Lorwyn and Dominaria
>Return mythics to what they should be, splashy casual rares
>Stop printing sets with so much garbage filler
>Shrink blue's section of the color pie, stop giving it pongify effects
>Give white access to mana leak effects
>Stop multicolor effects from being printed as mono color effects (i.e. Beast Within should not be mono-green)
>Stop the de-sexification of women on cards. The path to equality should be paved with equal amounts of beefcake and qt traps.
>Bring back the invitational and invitational cards
>Make supplemental sets have complexity on the level of Future Sight
>Bring back the days when spell-heavy decks were prominent
>End "Midrange: the Gathering"
>Lightning Bolt and Elvish Mystic back in standard
>Kill Jace to show players that no walker is safe, story wise
>Print far fewer planeswalker cards
>Make Magic Great Again
>>46652985
>Update the card back
Reported, hidden, doxxed, and called the cops.
>>46653216
It needs to happen for the long-term health of the game, anon. The longer they wait, the harder it will be.
I'd print this, then retire.
>>46653445
You can't update the card back without completely isolating the old cards from the new in terms of tournament events. This creates a giant rift in the fanbase, makes the price of old cards skyrocket, and Wizards lose a lot of money.
>>46633630
This.
>Roborosewater makes OP green cards
>>46653445
Why would they need to change the card back?
>>46652985
The reserve list is fine, people just don't like it. Wotc just needs to make other eternal playable lands
>>46653611
>What are card sleeves?
>>46653757
There's really no reason for any card's price to hit triple digits. I don't believe the secondary market is healthy for Magic, and unless they post internal numbers that prove the opposite I will continue to argue for its abolition.
>>46641969
There's even clear outer sleeves KMC does if you insist on double-sleeving your double-faced cards. This solution totally exists fine as-is.
>>46638382
Best thing about the Nubian dynasty is that the Egyptians themselves tried to destroy the records of it ever happening.
>>46654026
The reserve list has nothing to do with that. Liliana of the veil, JTMS, JVP, tarmogoyf. Insane prices are a product of the time. Duals are more, but they aren't the only high price items.
Unlike the previously mentioned modern cards, duals hold their value because they will never be reprinted. The price barrier also keeps WotC less involved in the eternal formats, which is ultimately a good thing.
