Hey guys! This is an adventure adaptation I made of a 1985 Hong Kong movie Yes, Madam, for the Feng Shui 2 RPG. I welcome any feedback or thoughts on it and hope someone enjoys it - it's a rough draft so I'll make changes if any seem needed. Thanks!
that is a png not a pdf
>>46614557
I encourage original content but this guy is right. You've uploaded a picture, not a PDF, OP.
Looks like a png image.
OP, you fucked up. Post the pdf file instead.
Well I did fuck up. How the hell did I NOT leave the link? Thanks guys, sorry for being a total asstard.
Huh. 4chan keeps telling me my post is spam when i link to Box.com where the file is. I had to put it up at Onedrive.
https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=6EE2A7FBCFA96027!562&authkey=!ANLKTdJJ_bvC_mM&ithint=file%2cpdf
>>46618557
Uh... OP, you can just post the pdf like an image, as long as it's under 8mb.
I can? I had no idea! Why didn't someone tell me that! It's someone else's job to tell me things I need to know, I can't be responsible for myself!
This is really neat. HK action films have a couple of really great things you can learn from them, like that every good action film should begin with a cool fight almost immediately. I also like the alternative ways each scene may play out, you have some creative ways of escalating the situation.
>>46613684
Stop offending my eyeballs. Do not indent paragraphs and put a blank line between them. And what the shit? You just switch willy-nilly between italics, bold, underlines and numbering. Would you pick a god damn formatting style?
Needs:
1) Fluff-blurbs
2) Maps
It is also way too structured. You just make the blanket assumption that everyone makes exactly the choice you have predetermined that they "should," in a super-long chain off events that is thrown to utter shit the first time anyone does something you didn't expect.
This is pretty bad, desu. It doesn't work. You need to set scenes up. Not plot them by responding to what you assume the PCs will do.
>>46619781
>This is pretty bad, desu.
I have no idea what I typed that got filtered to "desu"
>>46619830
If you abbreviated To Be Honest, Mu2 thinks it's "funny" to filter-swap the acronym to desu, but gently caress that.
Intersting. Thanks for the feedback. I'm not sure about the formatting, I have never been a typography genius, and will defintely have people go over that aspect of things.
You don't indent paragraphs if there's a break between them?
Fluff blurbs, I agree. As I said, this is a DIRECT adaptation of a movie, and the adventure is expected to be tailored to a GMs current track for his PCs, so I'm always unsure how to present things like that. Would just quotes from the movie work?
As far as structure, as I said, its an adaptation so I just state basically how the movie goes and have made effort to provide at least brief asides for situations I can think of. If I could write an adventure and consider the requisite branches, I'd be writing from scratch, but my brain has been on injured reserve for a few years now; there's no way this could be made into an commercial adventure so while I want to "finish" it, I feel like there is a level of "this is okay", given it's given out for free.
>>46621346
To be frank, it's only Chadspeak that gets filtered.
