Alright /tg/, choose your new best friend!
Be warned however, that you cannot change whomever you choose, so choose wisely!
Obviously The God Emperor of Mankind, who wouldn't want the Chaos God of Order as their best friend. Anything else is absolute heresy and shall be dealt with post haste by the Ordo Hereticus.
>>46596307
>These options
Don't disappoint me.
>>46596307
Commisar, follows his principles regardless of the norm, kinda like how I am to my friends, telling the blunt truth, with profanity deeply embeded
>>46596307
I'll take the tech priest.
>>46596307
I'd go with the sob but if the sex option isn't available I'd go for the tech priest.
All of them except the Berserker and the Eldar seem awesome too me.
>>46596307
Noise Marine definitely.
Experience everything life has to offer. And then some.
>>46596307
Either the Tech Priest because I'm more or less a shut in anyway. Me and him would get along great.
Or the Sister of Battle (I'm so fucking lonely) also im loyal to the Emperor
She's loyal to the Emperor
Match made in heven.
ebin 40K memes aside, from an absolute morality point of view, isn't tyranid society objectively a far more prosperous one than human society could ever be, thus making it technically the right thing to pave way for their invasion and eventual replacement of the human race with members of their own?
>>46596307
Honestly it's between the emperor and the tyranids. On one hand I have a telepathic link to trillions of creature that accept me into their community and provide a constant stream of entertainment. On the other side there's a nigh-omniscient psyker in control of all humanity who wants to be my BFF. Really conflicted here.
Techpriest for sure, 0 downsides given I live in a big city. Plus I'll have a phone with actual storage space so I can /tg/ on the fly with ease.
>>46598772
No because it involves painfully murdering billions of sentients
Techpriest, so me and him can be RAGING tech homos.
>>46596307
Did you edit that image?
>>46598861
Now that I think about it the tyranids seem all around more interesting of a choice than the emperor. Although the tyranids would destroy the earth in ten years I can spin a story of how I managed to convince a scouting party to delay invasion for ten years. Or if tat idea is too far fetched I'll just try and go for the ambassador type, or maybe even just play it off as "I'm the only kid on the planet with an alien super predator as a buddy for life". With the emperor it just seems like I'd be so on edge at all times with the high ranking hulk marines and plain worship going on with everyone and the emperor. I might not be a seriously devouted Christian, but worshiping a physical person seems (ironically) heretical on every level. Anyone have thoughts on this particular pair of options?
Why the hell did you edit the image/are using an edited variant? Original version is much better
Is it strange that the first thought after reading the tyranids option was "How would I play magic: The gathering with a tyranid hive mind on both sides?"
>>46599525
Hm. Wouldn't that telepathic link along with 20 bored tyranids make you the greatest deck builder ever? Assuming your collection is substantial.
>>46599265
>>46599138
>>46597910
>>46597432
>>46596862
>Raging tech homos
>>46600051
I'd have sex with a techpriest.
>>46596307
Who the fuck would pick nurgle?
>>46600872
You shut your whore mouth, Nurgle is a bro
But yeah, the emperor is the right choice. Or the techpriest.
>>46600997
>Not based fuckgirl of battle.
>>46596307
The Tau, cause he seems chill, orThe Emperor
I'll choose the Necron.
>>46600186
>TFW you'll never be cuddling by the pulsing blue warmth of the warp drive, ensnared in his mechandrites as he coos to you in binary and strokes your hair
>TFW you'll never be walking the bowels of a warp ship, holding hands with him and using the glow from his green eye as a guide
>TFW you'll never sit together, wrapped in eachother's arms, staring out a window into the endless void of space
>TFW you'll never help him install upgrades and augments to himself and he'll never be able to return the favor
>TFW you'll never commit slaaneshi level tech heresy with eachother, making out passionately while he probes you with his mechandrites
Why even live
>>46602319
>he'll never be able to return the favor
Yes he would.
I have a bank fund for going transhuman and I quit smoking because of it.
>>46602366
>TFW you will soon be able to become a Techpriest
>>46602399
Depends on how you define soon.
>>46602427
Soon as in "Before you die"
Will you be my Mechanicus lover?
>>46596307
THERE IS ONLY ONE ACCEPTABLE ANSWER, AND IT IS THE EMPEROR!
>>46596307
Commisar
>>46604022
>implying the Emperor isn't already the Best Friend of everyone in the Imperium
It was a test, and you failed.
Probably the Berzerker. He seems pretty cool and I bet taking him to a movie would be hilarious.
The Orky life is for me.
>>46596307
Ork or noise marine, since I am already pretty /d/. The drugs and body mods kinda suck.
Ork's easy, I can just go inna middle east with him, start krumpin' isis.
>>46596307
Guardsman. Someone needs to be his bro. Plus, I would even give him my HK-91 so he doesn't have to use a flashlight.
>>46604183
Nay, it is you who are in fact the heretic and have failed the test. The Emperor loves all of humanity, but you have been offered the chance to become his DOUBLE best friend, and have rebuked him. You have spurned his offering and now the Emperor sheds a tear for your actions.
Your honor can only be redeemed by a penitent crusade.
>>46596307
I need to see exactly how cute her butt is be for making a decision.
I'm torn between the Noise Marine, the Tyranid, the Necron, and the technopriest.
>>46596307
Tyranid.
I'll take Guardsman bro or 'zerker bro.
Always the Guardsman.
>>46596307
Emps has more important stuff to worry about than being my friend.
I'll take guardsman.
Necron.
Yeah, he's creepy, yeah he's quite, but I can get him a good computer, set him up where he can look at the screen and stare at me at the same time, sure we can have an awesome time online.
Plus, immortality after death. I can deal with being a robot if it means I don't die.
Not much of a choice really.
>>46596307
So they removed the part about adeptus never fucking you? Then waifu obtained.
>>46596307
Guardsbro is the objectively correct choice
>>46607525
>>46607090
>>46606931
>>46606879
>>46604784
Obviously the most bittersweet choice.
Who doesn't want the wisdom of a war vet with PTSD.
Sitting on your porch watching the sunset with the sweet prune that has become your beautiful wife. Having flashbacks of Joe being sawed in have by some Ork Nob.
Guardsman definitely.
Pick tyranids, build RL Eldrazi deck.
Emperor is every human's friend... Adepta Sororitas or Techpriest... it's a hard call, they're both good buddies
Either Necron or tech-priest, depends on if the "makes you just like him" part means a common, mindless warrior or a lord with full mental capacity and more, if it's the former then I'd go with the tech priest (and then probably lost his friendship due to commuting tech heresy)
>>46607783
>Pick tyranids
>Make a eldrazi deck with new tyranid buddy.
>Tyranid in excitement accidentally impairs a third of your card collection with his evolved super razor spikes.
>Sigh
>>46596307
tfw eldar and I hang out with space marines, tau and one berserker in particular.
>>46596307
Requesting best friends CHAPTER edition!
>>46596307
Necron.
>>46596307
Berzerker.
>Not spilling blood for the blood god everyday
>Not claiming the skull of a fenris wolf for the skull throne and making great barbecue ribs from it's carcass on a daemon-infused grill with your berserkerbro
>Not doing everything the imperium does anyway but enjoying it
>Not going spore-picking in an ork camp every Sunday morning
>NotFIGTING IN THE RING 6 ON 1 IN A STEEL CAGE CHUTES AND LADDERS MATCHon sunday nights
>Not venting your Monday anger on chopping up dildar and slaaneshfags
>Not using your rage to kill dishonorable xenos and heretics
Shygddt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpTDAow4XU8
>>46596307
Is this up and doing things Emperor or my skin is missing and yet I still itch Emperor? If the former then him by a long way but I see some appeal in taking the Ork to the Middle East and saying "The people called is are for fighting, go have fun."
The Guardsman also sounds cool as do AS and AM.
>>46596307
Can I get a female Eldar instead? If not, Berzerker it is.
>>46596307
Imma go with Emps so I can become Kitten
Who wouldnt want a cute tyranid buddy who came to give you a banana?
>>46596538
>Commisar, follows his principles regardless of the norm, kinda like how I am to my friends, telling the blunt truth, with profanity deeply embeded
This is literally the most autistic thing i think ive seen today.
>>46596307
>Immortality
BroCron it is.
>>46613758
why thank you
The Khornate Berserker
>>46601175
>she isn't going to fuck you
That being said, I would still try because, Emperor damn it, one of these days I'll get her to love me!
>>46596307
>3 chaos options
PURGE
