The warm breeze wafts in as I sit in my chair - it's a beautiful June day to be relaxing in the office.
"It's good to be president," I smirk to myself, "and even better when the Dems don't know what's going on."
Suddenly, a sphere of energy begins to form in the middle of the Oval Office. Electricity shoots out in all directions, and when it dissipates, an African American man emerges from the smoke, crouched on the floor.
"Who are you?" I demand, "And where did you come from?"
The man stands up, fully revealing himself before me. The full view leaves me feeling impressed, yet a bit self conscious.
"My name is Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States. A pleasure to meet you, President Nixon."
"44th? But that means.. You're from the future! How is this possible?"
"My green initiatives granted me the power to control the weather, and eventually time itself. But that's not important - I carry a warning for you - in seven days you will be caught in one of the worst scandals in U.S. history. It will permanently damage the trust the American people have in their president. Your name will become synonymous with trickery, deceit, and kangaroo bestiality. This must not come to pass!" The naked president from the future declared. "I must go now though my time is up. Good luck!"
With a parting wave and another flash, the man is gone. I am once again alone in the office, save for the picture of George Washington, staring down at me with his goat eyes and jaundiced skin as usual. I start to consider all that was said, when I hear a knock on the door.
Every day I see the worst thing I've ever seen before
But this takes the cake
>>46574075
I'm proud of You.
By god son, you give retards a bad name.
>>46574075
Continue, this is awesome!
>Start writing a bill to execute all left wing sympathizers for questioning glorious Sticky Dick
>>46574374
>not wanting to go full ham with stupid ass shit
its still better then the dumb shit that used to be on here back in the original wave of weeb ass quests.
An unethical but effective plan worms its way into my brain - with blazing speed I start to draft an executive order to detain, impound, and eventually execute anyone who might uncover my plans to the public, using Executive order 9835 as precedent. After all, it worked for McCarthy, right? The door cracks open, and Alexander Butterfield pokes his head in the door.
"Mr. President?" The man asks. "Sorry to bother you - it looks like you're working on something important, so I'll be brief. I was wondering why you installed the taping systems in the White House?"
I read it all in his voice.
>"ah, yes, the taping systems."
>"I'm putting together a birthday video for Kissinger. Just some candid shots. You know, that sort of thing. Don't worry about it"
>>46578962
kek
>>46578129
It's for historical purposes. I'm going to record everything in the White House but only have it released 500 years in the future to allow those who come after us a true insight into the workings of the US.
I reveal my plans to present Kissinger with a slice-of-life family drama about the Nixons, and the life they live in the White House, as a birthday gift. He stares blankly at me, visibly flushed and uneasy at the prospect.
"...Right. I'll um.. be sure not to spoil the... surprise?"
An awkward pause ensues, Butterfield muttering something about Kissigner not caring much about the bathroom videos. I glance at the picture of Washington, hoping for some edification, yet find none. Butterfield speaks again.
"I was referring to the audio recordings. You know, the ones you said to record EVERYTHING you say?"
I then explain my grand scheme to educate future generations about the true workings of the U.S. When I finish, I find myself with one leg up on my chair and my arm at my chest. The sunlight casts a dramatic shadow across the floor, but Butterfield is not impressed by this charismatic display.
"Ah. Of course." Butterfield clears his throat as he regains his composure. "Such documentation will prove incredibly useful in educating people in the future. I've an idea - I'll notify Ron of this. As press secretary, he'll be able to spin the whole situation in your favor, showing you as a true scholar to the world. You could use the P.R., after all."
