Alright, so last session my assassin got a contract to kill a nobleman: he disguised himself as a butler, killed the target by hitting him with a pretty heavy iron rod and then let the body fall from the balcony of the room, disguising his death as an accident pretty convincingly.
Does /tg/ have any more stories about successful assassinations? Funny assassinations? Epic fails, perhaps?
>>46561431
I had a character once who was the owner of a brothel aimed at the rich and the influential. He was a girly, cowardly pretty boy who nobody took seriously.
He would kill his targets by poisoning them by inches and then being far away when they died three months later when their liver no longer worked.
>>46561461
>liver no longer worked
What did you poison him with, strong shandies?
>>46561461
So, pic related?
>>46561478
Maybe he just had them develop crippling alcoholism?
>>46561486
I have no idea who that is.
>>46561478
You get the idea. He'd poison people with stuff that would make them get sick and shut down their organs over a long period of time. We're talking weeks or months.
>>46561510
The MC of an anime called Assassination Classroom. He is pretty androgynous, so he can pass as a girl when he crossdressesbut he dislikes it...
I don't know that I'd call it an 'epic' fail, but:
>old group
>party edgegrimdarkgrim assassin has vendetta against elf barbarian for some reason
>decides to try and assassinate the barbarian during the night
>barbarians are immune to surprise at 7th level
In short, the assassin attacked the barbarian once without sneak attack damage, then got violently beaten to death by a raging lunatic
Aside from That Guy, everyone found it hilarious.
>>46561557
That's a funny fail, so yeah. It is relevant
>homebrew
>five coloroed "souls" are the main classes
>purple souls use stealth and lazer weapons (melee)
>orange souls are fire mages who get better the lower their health is
>purple soul edgetastic char has a hatred of orange souls because his big sister was one and abandoned him
>one quest the purple soul is sneaking around a compound while the rest of the party searches for an orange soul they were meant to rescue
>upon being rescued the purple soul throws his lazer scythe from the shadows at the orange soul for an assassination attempt
>orange soul is left with exactly one heatlh
>sacrifices last health point to double damage a spell
>1 hp left means plus 11 damage (12 hp was his max) plus d3x2 for 23 damage homing fire ball (must use willpower to dodge not speed)
>puple soul has 10 total hp
>orange soul proceeds to fireball the building purple is hiding in, killing the purple soul and wounding half the party
I even explicitly stated multiple times the orange soul was being held because he was highly dangerous and had nothing to lose
>>46561431
Okay so a little background: I made this character with the idea that he's all about infiltration. He had literally no combat abilities but was a master of disguise and trickery. He was also a dick. Anyway, at some point my character died due to the shenanigans of a guest character warlock and since my DM didn't want to waste my character (he was actually fairly well loved for his own shenanigans since half the time he was the butt of his own joke) he let my character live on the condition that I had to do some work for a devil (but no one else in game knew).
So our party got a mission to go kidnap some dude while he was on a train, but my devil gave me a side mission to assassinate a writer who was also on the train who wrote books that our party wizard enjoyed reading. So during the chaos of the kidnapping, my character breaks off and tries to find this writer and finds him in a train cabin with two guards. Using his super deception skills he manages to get the guards out by telling them to go after my party who's causing the ruckus. The guards fight my party and the wizard (since he saw the guards come from the direction my character went in) decides to rush to my characters aid. He walks in just after my character stabbed the writer in the stomach.
So my character needs to cover up the fact that he just murdered the wizards favourite writer and claims he was like this when he walked in. DM gets me to roll deception and the wizard believes it. The wizard pulls out a healing potion to feed to the writer and so my character starts panicking since he knows if the wizard heals that writer a devil is going to eat his soul. So I tell the DM I'm going to try and get the wizard to hand me the potion, then switch it out for one of my own. As soon as I tell the DM he breaks out laughing.
>>46562351
So a quick note, my DM hands out items on slips of paper with pictures and a description on them and when he gives us potions, he folds it so we can see the picture but not the description. So I've had in my inventory this green potion with a skull on it and assumed it was a poison but never bothered to find out what it actually was. Now was the time. I succeed on the persuasion roll to get the wizard to hand me the healing potion, succeed on the sleight of hand to switch the potions so he doesn't notice the switch (the wizard player was pretty happy to play along with this ridiculous ruse). So I tell the DM that I'm about to pour my "healing potion" down the dying writer's throat and he tells me through fits of laughter to open the item. Turns out its a vial of fucking acid. He then proceeds to describe as the writer begins to melt while staring horrified at my character.
Of course now the wizard is freaking out since he saw his potion just melt this universes version of Stephen King, so my character then rolls one final deception check to convince the wizard that the person who sold him the potion is trying to kill him. Thus we spent the next two sessions hunting down an innocent potion maker and exacting justice on him. But at least my character didn't lose his soulalthough that's arguable
Our group has a few but weirdly a lot of them revolve around or use sex to kill the target.
>>46561431
I took a page out of a decent skyrim strategy and made a werewolf contract killer. Hes gets the target's scent in human form and waits until the full moon to do the deed. The whole city is on a lycanthrope hunt, but he's pretty great at hiding his nature.
>>46562362
Fantastic story!
>>46562362
I like it
What form did "exacting justice" on the potion maker take?
Elf sorceress opened a gate to her plane which held a literal mountain of treasure, squishing a group of high society demon infiltrators.
>>46561431
>descending into a bright, crowed room in tacticool ninja garb
Wew lad.
>>46561431
Why is that one woman so large?
>>46567237
Ascending the social ladder causes your overall size to increase.
>>46567237
She eats alot
>>46561431
Whoever drew this has no idea about how hanging from a rope works.
Not only is it stupid to just squeeze the rope between your feet, the artist chose the part of the feet that are the furthest from each other, giving an already weak hold even less strength.
But what's he doing up there anyway? There is no visible continuation of the rope, so he can't climb further down, but he also doesn't appear to be carrying any ranged weapons. Is he going to swing around menacingly until the people below get bored of him?
