Regale a short version of your character's backstory in the least flattering manner, like how a grumpy father would describe his adventurer son going off on an adventure because the son neglected farm work and some such.
Pic related, kind of. I'll start then:
>Girl didn't like a sure future, so she enlisted to get herself killed and tortured because she didn't like the cut of her husband-to-be's jib.
Asocial jerk joined the local army, but his officers couldn't stand him. So they transferred him to the "Monster Slayer" division, where he could get himself killed fighting werewolves and other spooky shit.
>>46547740
>Ran away from home rather than be given as tribute, ensuring hundreds will die instead of just him
>Procedes to lie, cheat, steal, and terrorize his way to a meager amount of magical power
>Channels it towards destruction, specifically avoiding anything that would help anyone but himself cause he's a dick
Wound up being fun to play though
>>46547740
He gets state of the art robot legs and what does he decide to do with this modern miracle? Dress up like a bug and haunt the night for the rest of his life.
Idiot girl decided to ditch her magical studies because of those newfangled and unreliable, unlike magic, gun-thingies. Now I hear that the idiot girl is trying to combine the two. Bound to blow herself, and everyone nearby, to Hades.
Scouted tunnels below the mountain hold for orc ambushes, couldn't handle the job so he ran off with his tail between his legs to become an 'adventurer'.
Orphan has to escape punishment for his crimes, joins a crazy old man in the woods and becomes a violent and fickle enforcer of that man's religion.
Granddaughter of a brilliant inventor chose to follow her "calling" by following the teachings of a minor god at best instead of following her grandfather's footsteps and doing something practical.
A psychopath whose mind has been tinkered with to the point he is no longer human. His plans involve forbidden knowledge and always create extreme human misery while empowering himself. He must be erased from existence before it's too late.
>>46548186
this isn't really unflattering, it just sounds like some edgy Elfen Lied shit
>>46547740
>Found an old sword in the middle of the woods.
>Made a retarded promise no one was listening to anyway.
>Got a tattoo.
>Murdered a foreign dignitary.
>Set out to figure out what his tattoo artist was smoking.
>>46547966
Bastard half elf gypsies ran off to join the carnival
>>46547740
Current PC is just an undead kid who was driven mad by the necromancer who animated him. The only reason he's useful is because his intelligence has been cracked apart and glued back together in just such a way that he's become a savant in the subjects that fall under mechanical engineering.
It's also made him afraid of any magic that appears as a 'shadow.' You make a black ball in your hand or some other petty illusion and he'll break down the wall just to run from you.
>>46548241
This guy would've impregnated Lucy instead of pussy-footing around like that faggot Kouta!
Stupid girl failed her first mission straight out of paladin school and got cursed by fome fae. Now she's trouncing around magically fused to a bard and hanging out with a tiefling. A Fucking Tiefling!
Anyway her friends and she fell down a hole into gods know where and are fraternizing with dark elves. Disgraceful
>>46547740
Some of my most recent characters:
>A spoilt lordling jumps at first opportunity to marry up and live the easy life as a trophy husband
>A whiny brat lost his family to Orcs and uses it as an excuse to massacre the entire Orcish race 30 years later
>A sheltered surgeon didn't think working for a band of mercs would be all that bad
>>46547740
>Her pathetic poorfag sorry excuse for a man father gets cucked by death
>Fucking somehow blames this shit on his daughter
>Obviously sketchy as fuck cultist shows up and is all like "lol I'll give you shit for your daughter mang"
>He spergs out and accepts
>He can't even betray his daughter properly and fucking goes after the guy
>"Wtf dude I thought we had a deal mang"
>Cultist had already started some looney faggot ritual on daughter, who is character
>Father goes full tard rage and shanks the dude
>Reclaims now fucked-up and autistic with ghosts daughter
>She's fucking mute for a year
>Still can't even parent her properly because he's such a cuck
>She grows up and says "lol bye daddy, I'm going to go work for the cool kids now and actually make a living unlike your neet ass"
>Now she goes around gathering beta orbiter ghosts and cucking the ones who aren't into it
>It's literally her job
>And her father never stopped being a faggot
>>46547740
Shadowrun PC in the making is a dwarf who's borderline NEET. He's a wannabe somebody with a lot of street-level robotics experience and negative social skills. Keeps a trim look, though.
I'm looking forward to playing him.
>>46547740
>born in a noble family
>Family had close ties to the King personally
>arranged for a marriage with the Kings beautiful cousins daughter
>family will become probably second most important bloodline in the kingdom
>spoiled and ungrateful little delusional fuck "saw an angel" delivering a grave message.
>left over night
>got about 50 of the family's pursuing guards killed when he got ambushed by Giants
>lives as a whoremongering sellsword
>probably forgot about the holy quest
>>46547740
Backstory
>A shitty little cutpurse whose trade and moral fiber ended in the death or imprisonment of every one who ever cared for him; mistaking his blundering incompetence for intention a guild of assassins mistakes him for a master spy and trains him only to be figuratively and, in some cases, literally stabbed in the back like everyone else.
Present day
>Now a competent amoral asshole, he lures stupid adventurers to travel with him to advance is own agenda (of whatever suits him in that moment) and is quick to assess their strengths, eventually killing them in a cascade of "poor luck" should they ever believe they have outgrown him or become too big of an obstacle to his distant goals.
He has killed 2 party members already:
-A self righteous paladin, crushed to death by a rolling boulder (shortly after realizing he had been cheating the company shares)
-A bumbling ranger (whose incompetence lead to villifying the company with an entire civilization of elves on the seas we sail) buying to his death over a precariously placed rope bridge.
The DM has us roll certain saves behind our screens and allows us to verbalize what we want.
>>46547740
Sociopathic young woman goes "problem solving": because in her mind that's what people with her skillset do with it. She doesn't understand the aftermath or the human sentiments involved, nor does she particularly care.
>>46547740
Boy wasn't sharp enough to be a decent merchant like his father, so he signed up for the army instead.
He was too feeble to be a viking so he moved to a city where he could be coddled like those civilized men.
He couldn't make it as a merchant, so he took some money from loan-sharks in league with a thieves' guild, that fool.
When he couldn't pay them back, he turned to some tentacle-monster for help. He must've lost his damn mind.
>>46547740
>this samurai, noble born, scion of a line blessed by the gods
>asshole doesn't even know, spends all his time whoring and gambling because "lol not going to inherit shit anyway"
>still makes plans to ruin everything for older brother because "lol dood is fagot"
>send him to other family, honorable and shit, maybe something will rub off on him holy shit
>it does
>the eldest daughter of their leader
>good fucking going shitlord
>now we're at war
>do pretty good, wreck their shit until they find an amazing general
>happens to be aformentioned eldest daughter fuckstick slept with
>gg bro, way to piss her off
>declare peace before she can wreck our shit too hard at least
>suddenly court
>behaves because has to, tells stories and shit
>stories are actually good, guy has potential
>wastes potential of all these powerful women falling all over him to just get dick (more) wet
>like doesn't even get favors or blackmail
>what a shit
>>46547740
>slutty landsknechts
Didn't know I had that fetish
>>46547740
>Stupid good-for-nothing daughter squanders years of rigorous training to become a honest to christ maid. Probably to leech off some rich idiot kid's money without having to do any actual honest work.
>Didn't even get that far, wound up with a band of delinquent vagabonds with a death wish.
>Somehow acquired a priceless treasure trough sheer dumb luck.
>Wasted it on an overly large house in some backward village in the middle of nowhere.
>Still lets the other freeloading deadbeats stay in despite technically owning the deed to the house.
>Too naive and shortsighted to look for real careers and finally make something of herself.
>>46547740
Half-elf chuuni dropped a perfectly good acting job to go play the heroine she pretended to be on a daily basis. Crazy bitch.
Ungrateful young woman has the gall the call her family duplicitous, cowardly, and underhanded, never mind that everything was done to preserve her life and the lives of the family during a FUCKING PLAGUE that erased cities.
And to really blow your mind, now she reveres the Goddess of Death and goes around saying that the plague was the best and most fair thing that happened in recent history since 'in panic and fear, people dropped their masks of civility and revealed their true natures as monsters, cowards, or saints.'
I tell you, I never raised my daughter to be an emotionally stunted edgelord. It was that damned death-worshipping suicide cult what did it. Now she goes around saying 'Memento Mori' like she has deep wisdom from beyond.
>>46547740
Orphan brainwashed by a bunch of asshole in shining armor goes out to fight a bunch of alleged evil without ever really understanding why.
Dumbass lizardman leaves the safety of his village, his wife and eggs all to parlay with the mammals, who probably only play nice with him because of his gold and the fact he could eat them, and then we get a note saying he got cursed into a woman!
>>46549135
...Like, a lizardwoman, or a human woman?
Refuses to get into the fucking robot. I'll guilt him into doing what I want, though.
Overly violent wood elf exiled from his community but convinced it was some sort of ritual of wandering in an effort to get rid of the vicious little shit.
>>46549163
Lizard
>>46547740
Idiot dwarf cabin boy got our ship sunk and then fell in with a bunch of whale-riding druid weirdoes instead of saving our asses
>>46547740
Dumbass got kicked out his sorry ass out his home, and now the idiot is trying to find his way back, but got lost as hell: it'll take a miracle to get enough brain in his head to find it again.
Local youth's family devoured by unspeakable horrors while on a fishing trip. Washes ashore and grows up to be a twitchy unhygienic hobo wizard in the woods, gets maimed by orcs and loses an eye and a leg.
Generally unpleasant to talk to. Prone to babbling nonsense and scribbling horrific images and symbols onto any surface in reach.
>Was the oldest of three sons in a small village and basically the black sheep of the family.
>Was too easily distracted and mentally inept to become a wizard under his uncle's tutelage
>Wasn't devoted enough to become a cleric like his father.
>Was tonedeaf when it came to playing music, so learning how to become a bard like his mother was a no go
>Basically left the town to make something of himself
>>46547740
Where is this slutty landsknect from?
>>46549652
Germany, probably.
>>46549652
some fuckin quest thread
He's basically racist Batman.
>>46548354
>>A spoilt lordling jumps at first opportunity to marry up and live the easy life as a trophy husband
>marry up
>trophy husband
One or the other, I thought.
>>46547740
Useless daughter got sent off to spy on humans, went native instead.
>An idiot country bupkin sorcerer that think he's a wizard and his sage familiar that does the thinking for the duo.
>High Cha, low Wis, and decent Int means he constantly makes one poor plot decision after another to the dismay of his familiar and the smarter members of the party.
>True neutral alignment means he's just as likely to help good npcs as well as evil ones.
>>46549652
I was thinking it was the stereotypical heroin rival from BroQuest
>>46547740
Ungrateful brat left her foster parents to look for her real mother, got in trouble with the law and sold her soul to escape.
>>46547740
>Be first son of the Dwarven King
>get cucked by your gf at a party
>get pissed drunk and nearly kill the guy
>have your father tell you what a damn child you are
>go get ass kicked by zombies with your little brother then run away as your brother gets dragged deep into a cave screaming
>go get back up and Kill everything in the cave. Fail to find you brother
>come back to father disgraced
>father becomes depressed and never talks to you again
>run away and become adventurer
>father gets taken over by BBEG and becomes evil
>wages war with other races
>Everyone hates dwarves now
>could have stopped him if I had stayed
Spurns the chance to practice useful arcane academics to research batty far realm bullshit, and left uni to get himself killed at the ripe age of 53 having finally uncovered the great secret power of talking to people without moving his lips.
>>46547740
>Disrespectful lout won't follow in his esteemed families footsteps and become a coal miner. Instead choosing to become a dirty surface merchant. Who along the way becomes corrupted by the overworld humans gods and joins them as a cleric
Mordrin Coalmined. My dwarf cleric.
>>46547740
I teach my son all the stories of our people that he may take my place as lorekeeper of the tribe when I pass on, but the ungrateful waste of scales comes to me with fanciful new tales of how he slayed a metal man. He thinks he's some kind of "night" now, says he learned it from some block of wood with pictures and squiggles, says that nights have their own stories. I disowned the bastard for daring spit upon the stories of his ancestors, and what does the little shit do? Stabs me to death in my sleep while whispering "I challenge you to a duel".
>guy is part of 30% of population born with jekyll/hyde style curse. Cursed are treated as garbage working class by the pompous as fuck bourgeoisie.
>Joins union so he can stop pounding railroad spikes into the tracks with his bare knuckles and maybe feed his family more than three times a week.
>During a civil strike, union gets a taste for blood and kills a few overseers. Go full "KILL THE NORMIES REEEE" mode and start massacring anyone that isn't cursed.
>Despite being huge as fuck guy is a giant pussy and is too afraid to leave the rebellion despite it not being what he signed up for. Gets swept up in the whole mess.
>growing rebellion ends up raiding and burned down his home town, family included. He tries to get home and get them out but everything is already burnt by the time he gets there.
>"Holy shit these people are fucking insane. I need to get off the continent."
>Takes steampunk (coal punk? Oil punk?) train back to medieval land where he works as a shitty bodyguard. Even though he has no fighting experience he's still bigger than pretty much anyone in the kingdom so he gets lots of work.
>Meets party.
>Isn't a total edge lord about "huh family", just kind of quiet and sad all the time.
>She never appreciated the hard work her mother put in to raise her
>Instead she galavanted through the forests with her father
>Mother was killed and she didn't even stick around for the funeral before she charged off 'for vengance' as if that would make up for being a shitty daughter
>Only cared about what her mother did for her after she was gone
>Doesn't see her father anymore because she's 'busy' doing her mother's work.
>As a final insult to them both she leaves it all behind as she disappears into the open wilds.
He's an illiterate outlaw who moves instinctively in the general direction of fighting, food or sex, in that order, and is sure to meet a bad end.This is your character.
>>46558833
Excuse me, he's a wizard and is thus by definition literate.
This sissy half-orc had all the advantages.
>had an orc mother
>abandoned by trive
>raised by wolves
>taken in by foolish kindly old halfling
And does he go on to destroy the halflings home and pillage all their stuff?
NO, he becomes their gods-damned BUTLER!
>>46558833
But my character is the law!
>A half-man during his "transition"
>Misappropriates dwarven culture
>Never picked up a hammer in his life. Feel the REAL burn of the forge
>>46558889
>>46558978
And yet you both still probably spend more time roleplaying running about committing shakily justifiable murder acts, stripping corpses, and hitting on imaginary dragon-women than filling in proper arrest forms or completing advanced wizarding correspondence courses.
>>46558833
Hey, my character hasn't done anything illegal yet and is probably technically literate.
>>46547740
NPC goblin tried to rob party, failed so badly they made him a mascot rather than killing him. After previous character died decided to ascend him from lackyhood. Still utterly pathetic.
>>46547740
His dumbass of a father decided to not pay his taxes to the Queen, on a planet where not paying taxes to the Queen gets you put to death. He grew up working for the Queen's soldiers, trying to pay off his seditious daddy's debt. Eventually they got so sick of this stupid twerp child soldier they passed him off to the first offworlder they could find, an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Now the dumbass spends all of his time getting shot to death by heretics while the rest of his team does all the real thinky investigative work.
Half-elf that grew up in, like, the one human kingdom that wasn't cool with half-elves, just really salty when it turned out the entire planet except for Those Fuckers are cool with half-elves and she just had to move, like, 30 miles in any direction to not have to deal with assholes.
Idiot son is too good to go into the family business and runs off when his family needs him most to find a stupid fucking globe from a stupid fucking fairy tale (that certainly doesn't even exist) to force a powerful being to grant some wishes, like that's a great idea with no possible downsides.
>>46547740
Demigod knocked up a sacred prostitute on his travels. Raised in a temple/whorehouse as literal god's gift to women. Got skeeved when even mom wanted to bone him, so now travels the land as a heroic warrior-bard to prove his worth so that he can do his REAL duty in spreading his holy bloodline far and wide. Can't decide if Silver Dragon or Rakshasa should get top billing on his list.
She spent her youth with her head in the clouds, daydreaming, singing, weaving and playing games.
Disaster struck and while the community was pulling itself together they discovered many ancient treasures have gone missing.
Seeing their retrieval as a trivial matter not worth the time as everyone else was pulling their weight, the girl and her friends were appointed to seek them out in hopes this would help them mature a little.
>>46550582
The character is a lesser noble that somehow got a shot at wooing the heiress of an Empire.
>>46548471
>betraying your party
You sound like a shitty player.
>>46547740
Couldn't amount to anything and joined the army rather than get jailed for theft.
Abandoned his countrymen and hightailed it to far off lands as a dirty mercenary
Eldest daughter of a Noble house, twelfth in line for the throne, was constantly getting pissed, picking fights and sleeping around. She was given an ultimatum of going and getting her head on straight or being publicly disowned.
Choosing the former she was released into the world with nothing but the clothes on her back, a sack full of gold and her sword at her hip.
She was stone broke, dead drunk and thoroughly fucked inside a week.
She's only gotten slightly better since.
>>46547740
Noble manchild diched his responsibility against his family and people for going into space to get money and screw women.
Quit their job as a successful doctor to become a pirate
Deformed and illiterate farmboy who was a good church going boy until he broke his grandmas heart by stealing a sword and running away to die like his father did.
Some ex military greedy cunt roams around the galaxy making illegal profits because honest, hard work just don't suit Ms. Prettyface Fancy Mcpants, no sire. Gets filthy rich but keeps risking her smuggler's butt is risky runs because she's a thrill seeker trying to feed the whole in the frozen cave that is her chest cavity. Also fancies herself some ol' fashion gunslinger or so shit, carrying old ass guns like they hot shite.
So this bastard kid of some rich blue blood got herself enlisted in the military for no reason besides perhaps a deathwish or some sick fantasy involving fighting orcs, who knows. Anyways, cunt end up becoming some bigshot commander and marrying a woman, as if being a bastard and a manfaced whore wasn't enough...
Stupid senile dingbat spends over 600 years down here with us, where the sun doesn't shine, where he belongs, and now all of a sudden he thinks he's an adventurer? God damn voices in his head giving him delusions of grandeur. I don't care if he "knows things he aught not" I don't care that he can pull off some uncanny mind tricks, that old coot is going to get himself killed.
>>46547740
>Enlisted as a guard for little pay in petty attempt to one-up older brother
>Couldn't even fire a crossbow properly, almost got his entire unit killed
>Duped by a fey spirit that promised to pull his ass out of the fire in exchange for "a favor to be named later"
>A failed mercenary goes to the city for work
>He accidentally joins a civil war that is happening
>People start to following him for whatever reason
>He ends up betraying everyone and taking the power for himself and his party.
>>46547740
Dopey boy leaves poor old mother alone to live like one of his fantasy fiction heroes.
Still hasn't found a girlfriend.
