Party encounters a ruined castley, they are lvl 1. There is no gold and no monsters in castle, but lots of annyong/useless shit.
What is it, /tg/?
Wrinkled up treasure maps. There may or may not have been a treasure in this ruin many many years ago. But a surplus of maps has been drawn and spread throughout the realms. Thousands of adventurer groups have come here in the search of riches and they all have been disappointed and left their useless maps behind.
>>46517228
>What is it, /tg/?
A fixer-upper!
>>46517587
Collect the maps, sell 'em, use the money to restore the castle to its old glory.
>>46517750
>A fixer-upper!
Damn skippy! Free castle, looks fairly defensible, just needs some work.
>>46517228
Lore books about pointless shit. Diaries and old storagekeeping books
Wont even give skill bonuses.
>monkey hair everywhere
>allot of shitty VHS tapes
> a manual to maintain some device that transports small objects into space
>a blackboard with a sign over it "plans for mike this week"
>>46517228
>Tons of pit traps... That all go down six feet into piles of rotten material so soft there is no damage.
>The roof is collapsing in the great hall... Slowly, just enough to continuously shower the players in little fragments.
>The blinds them on entry... because of the amount of dust they kick up when they open the door.
>The tower floors are collapsed every other floor... The towers were the only areas with stairs. Now the players need to run through an entire floor to get to the next staircase.
>Ancient books are scattered about... They are all about useless junk. Start reading random things to the players"According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly...."
>There's a skeleton in the corner wearing nasty looking armor... It's not reanimated. The thing just crumbles when they touch it.
A really, really old mimic.
A deck of cards, with a d20 of em' missing
Dried herbs and dead plants
Furniture with gold decorations (15DC removal)
>>46517228
The castle is filled with wonderful pieces of wooden furniture. Each one is a marvel of style and craftsmanship. Every single piece is absolutely riddled with woodworn.
>>46519088
Alternatively,
>In one room is a beautiful, well-built and fantastically carved wooden wardrobe that could certainly be sold for a small fortune to the right buyer. Unfortunately, the wardrobe is so big and unwieldy that that it's highly unlikely that the PCs will be able to maneuver it out of the castle.
Also:
>A small flock of pygmy drakes has take to roosting in the rafters of the great hall. While funny and friendly on an individual basis, they are rather territorial as a group and will prove to be a big hassle if their nests are disturbed.
>The tomboyish daughter of the local blacksmith has taken to using the ruined castle as her own personal hideaway and refuge from the rigors and expectations of village life. The PCs come upon her unexpectedly as she's gazing out toward the horizon / practicing her swordsmanship / making time with the namer's daughter / etc. etc. etc.
>Something that sounds like an old man's voice mumbling or maybe counting can be heard coming up from the old well in the middle of the courtyard. It does not sound alarmed or disturbed, and does not respond if the PCs call down to it.
>Beneath the kitchen is a vast and labyrinthian wine cellar filled with dry barrels and racks upon racks of broken bottles. If searched thoroughly, the PCs will find a half-dozen unbroken bottles of fine vintage wine, a small cask of some extremely potent liquor and a chest containing the castle's best silverware.
OP still monitoring.
Great stuff!
Broken bits of wood and pottery here and there scattered among the rubble, but otherwise absolutely nothing. Exploring the ruined castle was a complete waste of time and effort.
Meanwhile, interesting stuff was happening elsewhere that the PCs will now have to deal with the aftermath of when they come back empty handed.
Agreeing with >>46517750
Having a defensible castle with the base already laid down beats building one from scratch
>>46517750
>>46517587
That's retarded. You are going to furnish your home base, by selling maps that lead directly to that base?
At least before when the maps led there, the castle was empty, but now when all the murderhobos arrive to pillage and loot, they will see you guys with all your stuff.
>>46519572
And these adventurers will bring new magical items to your stronghold.
>>46519361
>A group of petty thieves has made the castle their base of operations, but are quite quickly scared off by PCs as they explore the ruins. They hadn't been very successful thieves, as it turns out, and had only ever stolen enough food for them to eat as well as a few random odds and ends that certainly weren't worth their effort. They did manage to procure a cheap silver locket, however, who I will earn the PCs a modest reward if returned to its rightful owner.
>An large storeroom at the back of the castle ruins is filled with rickety wooden shelves holding various pieces of pottery, old books and other sundries, all of it quite ruined by time and none of it worth much of anything at all. One wrong move by the PCs will send these rickety shelves toppling one after another, domino style, until the entire room is in shambles. One pot, previously filled with rotten grain, will reveal a small leather bag with three gold coins inside once broken.
>Beneath a loose floorboard in the old servants' quarters, the PCs can find the diary of a particularly literate, sarcastic and passive-aggressive scullery maid. The diary is filled with all sorts of juicy gossip, some of which may still prove embarassing or impactful to the modern-day royalty.
>If choosing or forced to stay in the castle overnight, the PCs may see what looks like a lantern floating amongst the ruins, no if as if it were being carried by a guard or watchman making his rounds. No matter how hard they try, the PCs won't be able to catch the floating lantern, but it will make no attempt to harm them and will actually keep low-level threats like beasts and brigands away while they rest.
>>46519941
>A small colony of kobolds has set themselves up as the rulers of the ruins, even going so far as to mimic the trappings and traditions of Human aristocracy with whatever they find in and around the old castle. The Kobold King and his loyal subjects appear to be nonviolent and pose no threat to the village below, but insist on being treated like proper royalty by the PCs as long as they stay in the castle ruins as their "guests."
>>46519586
>>46517228
An annoying and useless GM.
Library with interesting-looking books
If you open a book, it makes a small explosion, releasing irritating powder in the reader's face
Some books are delayed, so you never know when the powder will strike
Other books trigger booby traps just by pulling them from the shelf
Rugs cover pressure plates that cause dust-bombs to explode from the shelves
Rugs also rigged to fire darts with a weak toxin if players try to raise it
Chandelier rigged to "fall" if someone stands under it
It doesn't actually hit the ground, and the tiles around the chandelier are rigged to unleash dusty hell on whoever lumps on them to avoid the chandelier
If the players get wise on this, chandeliers actually do fall, but never deal enough damage to kill
Armor rigged with tripwires to fall
The tripwires are also rigged, so cutting them causes the tiles to push players forward so they activate another tripwire instead
Paintings rigged so moving them makes them release a weak magical explosion to knock players down
Stairs rigged to suddenly flatten into a slippery slide when players reach the top
Doors rigged to unleash a blunt arrow when opened
The rigged doors are rigged so even if you disable the crossbow, a bucket of powdery hell will land on you
Closets rigged to blast the opener away with a burst of energy
Drawers are rigged to release potent sneezing powder when opened
The rigged drawers are double rigged to unleash potent sneezing powder even if opened while the opener's head is below the drawer
Beds rigged to be terribly uncomfortable
Chairs rigged with magic strong enough to throw them out of the seat
Windows rigged to hit the opener with a wooden bar so they fall on their backs
Tiles are randomly rigged to freeze players in place for a short duration, but long enough for weak poison darts to hit you
Treasure chests rigged to unleash sneezing powder when opened
Rigged treasure chests double rigged with poison darts that come out of the lockhole.
>>46517228The castle is a Mimic.But it's okay, it's actually their next questgiver for some reason.
There's a goddamn racoon in the castle.
It eats everything, the food you bring or the trash you leave. You wake up in the middle of the night with it digging through your backpack, scattering and destroying your belongings to to get to your rations.
You tried setting traps once, but when you checked, the bait was gone, the traps remained unsprung, and there was a pile of feces in the doorway which of course, you stepped in to.
The ranger stalked it once, tracked it's movements for an entire day before finally getting a decent shot at it. The racoon moves like a demon and even an expert shot like the ranger couldn't so much as scratch a hair on it's back.
Fed up with weeks of it eating his reagants, the Wizard blew out half of the study with a fireball when he heard the skittering of movement. The study was ruined, but he only barely managed to spot the unharmed backside of the racoon scurrying it's way back into the walls.
8,000 pizza boxes and a good load of rats
Bumping for curiosity.
>>46517228
An inexhaustible amount of house centipedes. They don't attack, but they can't ever be all killed, and as soon as the players leave a room any dead ones will be replaced.
I know a few players that would pass up artifacts, and nope the hell out.
A dead sheep
Plaster peeling and revealing beautiful but haunting murals on the walls
Mildew
Rotted floorboards
The remains of a camp, it seems the previous occupants left quickly
The mausoleum of the family that used to own the castle
A scratched and dented safe partially buried in dirt beneath a window that someone clearly tried to open but failed
>>46518973
If you're applying the rules of a fixed wing aircraft to a bee, sure they can't fly that way
