Tell me about the last session you played, /tg/
>>46409808
First time with an all-girls group, they actually play really differently compared to guys.
The murderhobo-fuckery was extremely low, which is an absolute plus. But they did try to bend the rules considerably more: "my polar bear can actually do this trick as well!". And they react entirely different towards cruelty and evil stuff, up to the point where they argued whether or not they had the right to kill the filthy creature that clearly came at them with a knife.
>>46409808
Halfway in my hunter: the vigil campaign. The party started out well but they've spent the last two sessions fumbling in the dark. They have a lot of the pieces on the table but they are not making the right connections; I'll probably have to nudge them in the right direction somehow.
>>46410105
Huh. Girls in my experience are pretty murderhobo.
>>46409808
>assaulted a goblin stronghold, looted it, burnt most of it down
>kidnapped the witch out of the fort's basement, threw said witch into a pit with a growling flesh-eating monster
>buried entrance to said basement
all in all a good time
I did something stupid and then rolled bad and then my Flaws kicked in hard so I had an IC meltdown and went on to have some poorly worded conversations with the other characters and managed to split the party in the end.
Me and my buddy (the two most consistent players) continuing our L5R game.
Mod is about a reconciliation between the Lion Clan and the family that was the Wasp Clan before they joined the Mantis clan.
There are some tensions lingering, we scope things out. The most likely trouble maker turns out to be a really cool old guy who's willing to put aside his hatred for the sake of his clan.
The desert for the welcome dinner is changed to a low class dish because the key ingredient for the planned dish was stolen. The archery contest the next day turns has a bunch of the Lions shooting weighted arrows instead of the top tier shit the Wasp Family was providing.
> It's a fukkin set up bois
Next morning the Wasp Daimio ask the two of us to secretly figure this shit out. At breakfast the hothead archers start a fight on top of me and my buddy. With some sick intimidation rolls I shame them into backing down.
We then go check out where the arrows where supposed to be used. We don't find any physical evidence so my buddy (a shugenja) just calls up the kami of the stone floor and asks
> "Yo anyone been in here?"
> "Ye. One."
> "What build/age?"
> "Old. Short."
There is only one man here like that, one of the ranking Lions. But spirits can't give testimony. Need some proof.
Buddy cast the 'detect hidden shit' spell. There's a secret tunnel. And also more secret tunnels, with tracks in them. One leads to the kitchens. One leads to the Cool Old Guy's room. It's full of not even hidden evidence and a really sweet retirement poem. Last tunnel with tracks leads to the Lion's room. le 'detect hidden shit' spell. Some much damning evidence in here.
To the daimio. He's pleased with us. The Lion is black-bagged and executed that night. Everything else works out great.
> Mission accomplished.
We literally skipped the second play by the Lion where he tries to obfuscate and deflect with some political bs, just by having a shugenja cast the rank 1 'detect hidden shit' spell.
Heheheheh.
>playing
a cult of necromancers tried to resurrect their dead god, but I (the wizard) and the sorcerer managed to incinerate the whole fucking manor the cult was hiding in. While the paladin and the ranger watched in terror.
>>46409808
It's been cancelled. For the last 4 sessions. Maybe next week.
I finished my third Dark Heresy 2e campaign. The players fought a Necron Cryptek, a Farseer and a radical Inquisitor ontop of a mountain in a blizzard. They maimed the farseer but she escaped, the PCs banished the radical Inquisitor and then accepted sweet loot from the Necron. yay good guys!
In my less serious IRL nWoD game, I play Paladin Samuel Payne, an undertaker convinced he's a paladin in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. I have a colander on my head and I've taken over a fancy gym and dubbed it my castle.
>>46409808
Second session of our not-Numenera game.
After returning from a scouting mission my character demanded reward for a deed he didn't commit. Our questgiver caved in, but what I didn't know until it was too late is that the real heroes will return and probably beat the crap out of our party any minute now. Drawing this conclusion, my character panicked and ran to the closest "magic" shop in search of anything that would help him to skip in town. The shopkeeper kept naming astronomical prices for her junk and after multiple failed attempts at bargaining and deception, I threw a sack full of coins in her face, grabbed a mini-flying carpet (which later turned out to be in a nearly broken condition) and ran like hell.
>>46410212
In my experience murderhoboing is common to both genders and it's not really bad either as it's integral part of more simple adventure(y) settings. I mean whole basis of traditional fantasy "adventurer" is technically a murderhobo and that's usually what is to be expected when playing combat heavy game like D&D. Problem is when people start murderhoboing in serious non-adventure(y) game and in my experience that is just mark of an inexperienced or bad player who is frustrated by lack action. Ironically reverse can be problematic too. While it's very noble and unique idea to have pacifist diplomat character in D&D, it usually ends fucking things up because the system nor setting(s) aren't really designed to support such character.
GM'd a Black Crusade session last night. My group and I are still new. We first played through Broken Chains, now we're doing Binding Contracts. We're 75% through the adventure. We've reached the planet, assembles the mutants, and got to the hive apires right after the Tyranid-infested ship crashed. My players now need to find the rival Chaos sorceror, kill him, and hijack his Daemon Summoning Ritual.
It's literally only our third time playing a tabletop RPG, so everything is going very slow. We're having fun, though.
My players are interesting. I've got a Psyker and a Sorceror who use their telepathy to broadcast memes and profanity to the rest of the group. The Psyker doesn't understand how squishy he is and almost got one-shot killed last night. He had to burn an Infamy point to survive. The Sorceror's player literally doesn't know nor care how to play his own character. He doesn't have the details of any of his guns or powers written down. The Chosen with the Reaper Autocannon is like the only one taking this half-way seriously, so he's OK. And my GF is playing the Forsaken. She literally just falls asleep every session so I have to end up playing for her. That's also when her character accomplishes his greatest feats, having one-shot killed an Inquisitor and a Tyranid Warrior, respectively. We say that she's literally sleepwalking through the whole mission.
Played Nekusar at my lgs against an Ophis tribal and Narset and kept a shitty hand because I thought I could compensate only having one land with sensei's divining top.
I couldn't and dropped my 2nd land + a signet the turn before the narset player killed the other guy with a Consecrated sphinx enchanted with eldrazi conscription.
Afterwards i dealt 10 damage to him with toil/ trouble before i died too.
In hindsight either me or the Ophis player would've won if i hadn't gotten mana screwed because the narset deck had way too many card draw spells.
>>46410756
We played edh btw
>>46409808
we're running OotA. The below might have some spoilers for the campaign.
>evil party consists of half-orc barbarian and human GOO warlock (myself)
>we're in the dueregar city (Gracklstlugh?), working with the dwarf merchant Heimith
>DM told us he's barely a side character, but he's got him pretty fleshed out at this point, we agreed to bodyguard him and help move a weapons shipment
>also trying to pawn some poison off that we "acquired" from some unfortunate drow while we were crossing the darklake
>While we're exploring the town trying to find a place to sell the poison, we save a stonegiant that was being possessed by that fuckin two-headed baboon demon thing and wrecking the marketplace
>not because we're particularly nice, but our barbarian is vicious and she is IC and OOC pumped for combat
>barb nails a crit with greataxe into second mutated head, primary head is still alive
>stonegiants thank us generously
>fast forward
>Stonegiants agree to help us make contact with some merchants who'll buy the poison
>>46410793
>we eventually make contact with them, Heimith is the negotiator, we're posing as his slaves since the contact is Drow and we're trying to lay low after escaping the prison
>meet in a big tent in the market district
>dark room, one table with a Drow female, a stern male sidekick, and one guard behind us
>I'm running Detect Thoughts, DM says guard is mentally rehearsing blowing our brains out with the crossbow
>fucking tension rises fast as we realize the poison belongs to the Drow female we're trying to sell it to
>Heimith is sweating balls, Drow lady quite generously offers him 1k gold to take us as her slaves and then take her poison back
>Heimith is absolutely terrified of our hulking barbarian crushing his head between her thighs, and also myself for doing mind fuckery on him
>barbarian is gripping the back of his neck
>somehow Heimith doesn't sell us out despite being played as a greedy shit
>Drow Lady sighs and just calls our bluff and says she knows who we escaped from.
>SHIT
>She's from a rival house, and wants us as slaves to humiliate her rival, who's hunting us down
>Barbarian is about to flip the fuck out, neither of us feel like being slaves again
>we barely manage to avoid conflict by coming to an arrangement with the lady
>Heimith basically loses face as it comes out to a head that we're really the ones in charge
>he's dismissed, Drow lady says she's taking her poison back, no gold
>>46410212
>>46410651
I'm suspecting it isn't because thy are girls, but because none of them have ever played video games other than the sims or some bullshit like that.
In other games there was ALWAYS a new player who just started killing stuff from the start.
'This thing seems a bit threatening but it's trying to communicate with you' -> 'I shoot it!'.
'As you try to steal this very common item, the shopkeeper spots you' -> 'I stab him!'
And so on.
I'm not saying video games makes the children of America violent, but it does learn us that killing a thing is the most common conflict-resolution strategy in a fantasy setting. Games like the elder scrolls often include 'dickass that guy thief' as a common character option, so when a gamer starts RPing and he notices 'thief' as one of the classes, guess what happens?
>>46410798
>"Here's the deal..."
>Two drow emissaries and a scout, all from the rival house who's looking to help recapture us, are in the city.
>We'd already seen the two female emissaries in the tavern
>Drow lady wants us to murder all of them
>preferably publicly, and brutally
>barbarian_knuckles_cracking.wma
>Not exactly risk-free in a city full of lawful evil invisible guard dwarves who punish every crime by death
>manage to lure the two Emissaries back to a room at the Spire with a lucky Charm Person, convince them that I have the rest of the escaped slaves and want to sell them out and move on
>have the barbarian and one of our slave buddies (the Quaggoth "Prince") laying in wait
>Have a pretty hilarious conversation with the Drow about how disgusting surfacers like myself are as I lead them back up to the room
>Politely confirm how disgusting we are and show her the way
>Tell them that we will learn our lesson if we're whipped hard enough
>we go inside the room
>we basically pull off that scene from American Psycho with the fire axe, except it's a 7 foot tall barbarian half-orc and a greataxe, bisects the first drow
>second drow shoots off a lightning blast, super loud
>we finish her off, bail the fuck out, manage to escape using Minor Illusion to trick the coming guards into thinking it's further upstairs
>>46410806
>Later catch up to the scout
>This one gets even messier
>lay in wait in an abandoned guard tower she was using as a scouting post
>fuck up and she sees us as she climbs the ladder
>starts running away
>we manage catch her and box her in, but now we're out in the middle of the fucking street with weapons drawn
>people are stopping what they're doing to watch
>a few rounds later, the barbarian rips her torso open with another crit, and I finish her off with an eldritch blast
>public execution completed
>as her blood-spurting corpse hits the dirt, we notice there's a full blown crowd in the street watching what just happened
>Two dueregar guards appear
>They are not pleased
>"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST"
>end of session, playing later tonight to see whether we get our faces beaten in or arrested
>>46410803
That's pretty good explanation why murderhoboing happens and I can agree with it, but I think there's more to it. I mean murderhoboing existed even before video games. I'd say it was spawned by D&D and it's old modules that we're pretty much all about murderhoboistic dungeon crawl. D&D also gave birth to lots of media that would also promote murderhoboing as best form of fantasy adventures. It doesn't help that D&D was first RPG invented and due to it's popularity also the first RPG people usually play. I even admit myself that my teenage experience with lots of D&D playing has (in past) adversely effected my abilities to play different style of RPG games.
What's interesting though is that from exposure to more nuanced (despite them also relying on adventurer/murderhobo archetype) computer games like Fallout (the original) is what got me interested in non D&D style pnp games that aren't just about murderhobo dungeon crawls, so I'd say video games can have the opposite effect too.
>>46410740
Your players sound fucking awful anon.
>>46411357
It was literally our third time ever playing a tabletop RPG. That being said, the Sorceror's player has a habit of being dangerously unprepared for games. I once went to his place to play 40k with him, and he still hadn't even glued his fucking minis together, much less write out his list. He thought he could just do it all quickly.
>>46411655
The Forsaken falls asleep (by your description, that's literal - at my table, heads would be rolling over something like that, but generally I'm on the ball enough to not put my group to sleep and they're on the ball enough not to doze off, so it's never happened to my group before), the Sorcerer is chronically unprepared, and the psyker spams memes (annoying as fuck from the sound of it).
Cherish that Chosen anon. He's your best player and the most active one, from the sound of it. Unless your group collectively get their shit together, you should start slamming them with some hardcore bosses Dark Souls style.
Git gud or get rekt.
>>46411754
The Forsaken is my GF and she can't stay awake past 11pm to save her life, and that's when we played the last two times. The Psyker likes to slam memes, but we think they're funny, and he's got the potential to be pretty serious. It's mainly the Sorceror who's the weakest link. He's our friend and we all like him, but he is a pain in the ass to play with because of his unpreparedness
>>46411869
Well, keep at it, anon. Maybe give your GF some soda or something (GM Protip: Soda makes or breaks a late night gaming session) and keep going with trying to get the sorcerer and psyker's collective shit together.Trust me. I've been Forever GM for going on seven years with any group I've been with. You will want them to get their shit together, and I have ways to make my players do that.
>>46411928
Thanks for the advice. My GF though is literally immune to anything other than adderrall and caffeine pills, both of which make her really bitchy, so we're all better off with her asleep. We're gonna try to focus on daytime sessions and I'm gonna really hammer the Sorc to actually learn how to play the game.
>>46409808
>Session starts
>For less than thirty minutes
>Player has to leave to pick his gf from work, says it should take 20 minutes
>Gm doesn't want to go without a player so we wait
>an hour later later another player gets bored and plays a game of dota
>Player gets back when the other guy is 30~ minutes into his game and doesnt want to leave it
>Says he came back so late because him and his gf went shopping for groceries and to eat
>50 minutes into the dota game and another player says fuck it and takes off
>Session is canceled because 4/5 players present is apparently unplayable
Fun.
Continuing where we left off in an all wizard homebrew.
>Party spy has infiltrated cultist underground base through good deception rolls, the fact all their robes look the fucking same, and a slip of the gm's tongue.
>Due to how his magic works, and the fact the party never decided on a signal, he can't report back.
>Party tracks him down with magic, and drives up to the base in their loudmobile.
>everyone in a 2 mile radius heard us coming, so the cultists decide to put a rush order on that blood sacrifice.
>only summon one flaming stego-collosus instead of 3.
>we break down the wall in time to see the head cultist, a few of his lackies including the spy, and the stego-collosus.
The last time these assholes pulled off their summoning, an entire city got burned to the ground. so we are all bracing ourselves for a bad time. Cont
>>46409808
>August 2015
>DnD5e session planned
>Meet at friend's place
>Have a BBQ party
>There was meant to be 4 players and me, the DM
>One of the guys doesn't show up
>We start without him
>Player's brother joins the campaign, starts trolling
>We deal with it
>The session sucks
>I suck at being DM
>Session is boring
>After we finished, half of our group decided to stop playing and other half said they won't play unless we find more players
>These guys are my only friends
>Never played since then
>>46413326
>combat starts we realize Stego-Collosus is severely out of our league based on it's initiative modifier.
>Beats all of us soundly, and proceeds to literally kick one of our artificer's golems into the stratosphere.
>due to how DEX works in this homebrew, stego-collosus gets 4 attack actions per turn.
>Kicks our elementalist wizard into space
>due to the rushed ritual, the stego-collosus is only partially controlled, and only dealt knockback.
>Stego-collosus attempts to kick our other wizard, but he remembers he bought a knockoff shield from a bootleg wizard...
>>46409808
>Group decides to go shopping
>End up at a shop in a strip mall that looks to be doing well, even though the shops around it are in disrepair
>Browse around a bit muscle ends up buying heavy metal CDs to do yoga to
>Shopkeep takes us out back and shows us a fancy van and a drone armed with three things
>A low yield nuke
>A bomb that will kill anything magically active caught in the blast
>A third bomb that we aren't sure what it does, but probably doesn't dispense hugs and lemonade
>After looking horrified for a minute, buy it all because we figure that there are worse hands it could end up in than ours
>>46413439
>knockoff shield activates, and reflects all of the force from the kick into the ground.
>The entire fucking hideout explodes out of the ground and is launched 900 feet into the air.
>Stego-Collosus is unimpressed and kicks again, rolls a critical failure.
>knockoff shield reflects force of blow directly into head cultist, throws him 900 feet down into the ground, a faint explosion is heard.
>Kicks AGAIN, and ends up kicking our other wizard into space as well.
>the only ones left are the spy (still undiscovered) and our artificer.
>Artificer gets kicked into space.
>Spy uses another item from bootleg wizard, and teleports himself and the weenie cultists into a bakery nearby.
>initiative finally passes to us as we are sailing off into space.
>Other wizard pulls out flying cauldron and attempts to burn off momentum by firing lasers into the sky.
>Elementalist casts a ward to prevent suffocation, and gates sideways to attempt to burn off momentum.
>Artificer decides that's a good idea and does the same.
>Spy apologizes to baker for appearing in his store room with some guys in robes, and gives him a big pile of money.
>Spy walks out of the bakery just in time to see the hideout soar careen into the ground and explode.
>>46409808
Our 3.5 group, minus a regular and a newbie, continued our trek through a dungeon. We discovered a dragon who told us that Bahamut is figuratively getting fucked by Tiamat, I started a fight by implying Tiamat wanted it to literally happen, found an intelligent bloodthirsty Spear we now call Audrey II, and the rest if the party finally realized that my character speaking in third person and referring to events they weren't there for was relevant to something. They didn't catch on that I slipped into first person when we picked up a book about a specific hero though.
Anyway killed the dragon, killed some imps, found a baby dragon to befriend, got phat lewt.
>>46413615
>while the rest of the party magic their way back to the city by various means, Spy is whisked away to cultist hq by remaining cultists.
>Due to more amazing deception rolls, Spy ends up in charge of the cult branch that was in the city.
>Party regroups, and we realize we should probably check if that head cultist actually died.
>Find him at deaths door in a giant crater.
>After binding him and removing anything remotely likely to be an implement, other wizard heals him.
>Head cultist proceeds to shit talk, and then casts an aoe explosion spell with no implement or somatic components.
>entire party was prepared for this, and proceed to quickly shove him back through deaths door, with elementalist destroying his body for good measure.
Let me just say, i'm definitely looking forward to the next session tonight.
>>46409808
Arl and magnus tale continues in its rougetrader/darkheresy hybrid continues.
In this week arl and magnus experiment with their experimental weapon it shortly ended with a fiery explosion that killed 59 crew members after one of the xeno abominations we managed to capture a few sessions ago managed to break itself free and shenagians happened.
Shortly after we planned a raid onto a elder and imperial guard battle that has been waging for quite a time. Seeing this opportunity to gain revenge on the eldar and also to obtain the chance to capture one of their leaders we chalked talking to the dark mechanicus for favors for another time and headed into the planet.
Shortly after arriving we managed to disembark with a few squads of "loyal" skitarii and a few members of the lost and the damned into the the battle posing as a extremely suspicious war-band of acolytes with an interrogator.
Luckily due to the predicament of the battlefield, that the imperial guard was horribly losing the battle we managed to get access to rudimentary intelligence and managed to reach where the eldar warlords where last seen which sadly was in eldar conquered territory soon we managed to reach the eldar leader at the time a warlock and informally challenged him with our "squad" against the warlocks squad at the time which the GM has not told us of yet
If anyone is wondering arl and magnus were designed as a one off joke and suprisingly survived to do enough explots from challenging a newly formed choas warband to arguing with a obviously insane magos over the price of data slates and why he needs to law off the cybernetics..
1/3
>be me, DM
>party lvl 6-7 & like halfway through 'princes of the apocalypse' module but have since derailed entirely
>undead horde lead by bbeg deathknight, marching towards neverwinter
> party arrive at neverwinter before army because they were lent griffons from air cult
>they warn city and help prepare defenses
>make plan to burn down nearby forest while horde is passing through
>barbarian and wild mage go into forest to start fire
>wild mage casts a fire spell that procs his wild magic effects
>i use that pdf with 10,000 magic effects
>roll d10000, result is legit something like 'time is frozen for everything except the caster in a 7 kilometer radius'
>wild mage trapped on his frozen gryffon 30m above ground in middle of forest. Jumps to ground with frozen barbarian and starts dragging him back to town
Cont
2/3
>frozen time bubble is invisible to naked eye
>players argue that the bbeg deathknight should ride straight into it as it was previously established he was riding directly at the front of the horde.
> mfw begrudgingly agree
>eventually the rest of party in neverwinter deduce that time is frozen in the forest through trail and error with help from some NPCs.
>warlock decides to fly directly over/around time sphere using eldritch blast every few feet to measure where the barrier is
>i decide to make it so the blasts freeze in place midair after entering edge of barrier
>big mistake
>eventually warlock finds where the deathknight leader alone frozen at opposite end
>army split in 2 halfs going around the forest semi-mindlessly
>Warlock says 'i cast eldritch blast at him repeatedly for the next few hours'
>blasts get stuck in mid air just before hitting DK
>finally had enough, casts 'dispel magic' on frozen time dome.
>warlock has feature that causes his eldritch blast to have fairly strong knockback, and can cast two at a time
Cont..
>>46414072
>>46414055
3/3
>time resumes
>death knight immediately hit with hundreds of elritch blasts at the same time, dies
>he was supposed to be final boss of campaign, he was CR 17 or some shit
>massive shockwave kek
>DK gets hit with accumulated knockback effect
>the barbarian and wild mage are in middle of forest, barb wakes up.
>they see eldritch blasts raining down around them from the sky due to warlock's earlier trip over the dome
>see deathknight's corpse come burrowing through the dirt and tree
>comes to a halt near barbarian
>barb takes corpse back to the city, claims he defeated DK in single combat
>>46410972
i want to add my 2 cents to this. Murderhoboing also happens because of the lack of consequences for it. Most of the times in games players would not suffer any serious consequence for their actions (be it videogames or table top)
>Entire party captured when my idea of sneaking into a megacorp facility to find info to prove how evil this corp is goes horribly wrong.
>Wake up bound to chairs, aug'd up street sammy bound in chains and with arms removed
>BBEG asks us where his daughter is, he had employed us previously to bring her to him until we found out that he was doing some pretty questionable research on her
>Party ranges from bleeding hearts to cold blooded killers
>I, being the bleeding heart, refuse to give any information. Everyone else either remains silent or say they don't work with corps. ...maybe I changed them?
>The villain orders a guard to shoot me in the head with a revolver, I 'die'.
>The street sammy uses hydraulic jacks on his legs to launch himself to his feet, still bound to the chair but able to move.
>Mage shatters his restraints, troll and less aug'd up dwarf manage to break their cuffs. All subsequently get shot.
>Meanwhile, street sammy throws himself at the two guards still in the room as the villain flees. The first guard he manages to knock over.
>He manages to stand up once again, still bound to the chair and sits on the guard's face driving a chair leg right through his helmet.
>Street sammy gets shot twice as he tries to take down the last guard in the room, eventually knocks him over. Guard punches him hard in the face.
>Street sammy then crawls on top of him and bites his throat out.
>Oh yeah, those were only the first two guards. We're in the middle of the biggest facility for this megacorp, in Africa, whilst our home is all the way in Vietnam.
>Grenade thrown through door, sammy manages to kick it back wedging it in the door causing both the thrower and the sammy to be hit by the blast.
>Finally, the sammy gets up one last time, still ready to fight after killing 3 people without his arms or a weapon. Three machine guns light him up at once finally ending him.
The mage and I are now the only survivors of the crew, the troll survived but retired.
>>46413720
i wanna ask, what's a stego-collosus?
>>46414622
And appropriately, my cocaine addiction went from severe to burn out levels. Not only did I get shot in the head, but every other cause I believed in is either failing or corrupted to an insane level as the region around us collapses under a wave of refugees caused by a nuclear war we helped spark.
All optimism and hope is gone, my idealistic journalist is finally broken.
>>46414636
It was some like 60 foot tall flaming molten outsider thing. After it wasn't controlled anymore, it just fucked off towards a dormant volcano.
Now that I think about it, I don't like the implications of that.
>>46414672
kek, i imagined some sort of massive fat anthropomorphic stegosaurus that was kicking some wizards into space
>>46409808
We (a bunch of folks on a high-magic low-tech world, where technology is stagnant as fuck) found a portal in the sewers underneath the royal castle (we were there to deliver a message to the princess while simultaneously making sure the secret escape tunnels in that area were clear of revolutionaries since there was a massive riot going on) that lead to a god damned space station in orbit of the planet, and our characters were naturally freaked the fuck out, especially with the lack of gravity
Anyways the princess floated in, shocked to see us there, we delivered the letter, and accidentally threw an ancient technodildo at her face
Also, prior to going into the portal, I ended up rolling high on one and crit on the other of the two undead soldiers guarding the room with the portal in it. Sliced a fucking zombie in half and smashed a skeleton.
>>46414672
uh oh
>>46414096
that's broken but still hilarious
>>46417495
I suppose it could be worse, it could be heading towards "The Red Scar" which is what happened when we accidentally nuked a city during an earlier ritual.
We're playing L5R, and we're Jade Magistrates who've been invited to Winter Court in Phoenix lands.
Party composition is two Tamori Shugenjas, a Shosuro """"""""""Courtier"""""""""" an Ikoma Scout, and a Crane Courtier.
The Dragon and Phoenix are currently at war, so three of us would likely get attacked on sight, so we go to the Embassy in the Capital city to get travel papers. The Phoenix running the desk is a dick, so it takes us a week or so.
I get drunk every single day, the other Tamori practices sword kata, and the other three go arrange flowers.
We eventually get our papers, and head out of the city. As we're leaving, a mysterious figure jumps us, shanks our leader, Shosuro-San, and gets retaliated at by Other Tamori.
"Interesting" he says, before turning and fleeing.
We try and track him, finding a poor dead Crane nearby. Seems like he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We keep tracking him, with a little help from the kami. No luck, though.
We talk to the guards, and it turns out the guy's a serial/spree killer. Taking out old retired samurai from the Clan Wars a couple decades ago, and occasionally, the famous swordmen that get hired to protect them.
We argue about what to do, and eventually settle on my suggestion of "Let's just go be famous in the city, he'll come to us"
Lo and behold, it works. OT gets called out, we escort him most of the way, but leave him at a distance so we can't interfere, but despite our knowing, Shosuro-San disguises herself as an Eta, which is immediately seen through.
They duel, our girl wins a long slog of a fight, because she put up Fires of Purity, which caused damage whenever one touched the other.
And then Daigotsu invaded the city.
>>46409808
I became head of a mercenary guild with the help of my friends, using the fact that I was nobility to say it would give legitimacy to the group and thus allow for more lucrative contracts. The old commander gave in to the demands of his men and left the company saying he had enough of this lot. We parted amicably even though we wanted him to stay and lead the men.
The first contract was a merchant caravan from a mountain of Keens.
Keens are a race of trees that grow up to mimic the shape and functions of anything, as a result the mountain eventually got its own sentient race based off pretty much every other race out there. They are known for having some of the weirdest shit imaginable. For instance a tree decided to mimic fire - it ended badly in that to mimic fire it would latch on to something with nutrients grow upwards branches rapidly, said branches would wilt when the nutrients run out and release spores to mimic smoke most of which would be inert but one would be heavy and active so it would act as a ember.
The mountain had a... wood fire. It was weird.
I wasn't the one who started a fire I swear I just wanted to make hot chocolate.
The White House was attacked by ninjas and the only people capable of saving president Trump were Grimfrom The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandyand a basketballer named Slam Swole.
After harvesting ninja souls, they tried to solve the attack through a game of basketball but the ninjas were too good so they went to the courthouse in Hell to try and disqualify the ninjas. It failed.
Trump got a wall built around their hoop and they continued the game against the ninjas until a super ninja burst out of the ground and killed Slam through slamming. Grim got the upper hand and harvested the super ninja's soul and as the dust was settling, everyone noticed that the hoop Slam was dunked in was the ninjas' so they lost and the president was saved.
Slam Swole got a memorial raised in his honor.
The last session I played happened only an hour ago.
A Cleric, a wizard, a Barbarian/Assasin and Paladin/Fighter just defended a small town against a Barbarian Army, which also had Frost Giants in their ranks AND their warlord was riding a frost dragon!
We were being attacked from three directions; North, East and West. The Town had a small militia, so we could afford one heroic NPC accompanied with three weaker fighters on each direction. However, Cleric and wizard defended the West side alone with their summoned creatures. We managed to build barricades around the town, which kept us from being overwhelmed.
Cont.
>>46418816
I'm playing as the paladinwith a tower shieldand defended the north side with a one of the squads. The Barbarian was defending SE side of the town with another squad, because we could build defenses there in time. Our East side was slightly understaffed, but we had to bear with it.
We were attacked in two waves. All four fronts were attacked by a group of barbarians and two giants.Now I shall reveal that we were playing 3.5
The barbarian, Brutalix, encourared his squad to charge at the enemy with him, and wiped out the attackers in a flash. While his squad was attacking the giant, Brutalix cleaved through the weak barbarians with his two-hander. When he was finished, the squad fighting the giant were wiped out. Only their leader was barely consious on the ground. It's terrifying how quickly the barbarian slew the giant, without taking a scratch. Now that his battlefield was clear, brutalix walked to the wounded warrior and decapitated himLittle did we know, now that brutalix is part-assassin, he gets contracts every now and then. I guess the guy was on his list. I don't know.
cont.
>>46410501
Funny, bout the same thing for my game
>>46419116
The Cleric and the Wizard, Moralius and Angelus, fared pretty well on their own. Moralius had raised a Giant from the dead to aid in his defense. The giant was part of a scouting team we caught last night. The paladin had no idea about this undead being on the battlefield. Moralius is too good at keeping secrets.
They were attacked by two frost giants and four barbarians. First moralius commanded his overgrown skeletal minion to charge at one of the giants, but it missed the swing and the giant crushed the skeleton with a simple slap.
The wizard, Angelus, paniced and threw a fireball at the giants. He was surprised how the two monsters wailed in agony as their burned alive. The barbarians were a bit demoralized by the sight as well and were about to retreat. Unfortunately for them, the mage and the cleric magically appeared before them and they were slain with a ray of light.Gee, who would've known that frost giants take double damage from fire?
cont. Two more posts
>>46419329
The Paladin's fight was painful to watch. It was as if the gods were against Colehtimus that day.
He and his squad was attacked by one giant and eight barbarians. The paladin had enough time to give enough time to give everyone on his side the blessings of strength and prepare himself, but the fight was still tough.
The frost giant charged at the paladin, but luckily missed its mark. One of the squad's soldiers came to the paladin's aid but was crushed by the giant. The other two soldiers were attacked by two barbariand at once, and the squad's leader was fighting alone against three people.
Colehtimus had to kill the giant quickly, so he culd to to help others. Thus, he prepared to smite the creature at once. The first strike hit the beast hard, enough to make it take a step back. The second one missed. And the third one made the paladin slip on the snow. The giant hit Colehtimus hard with its axe, but the paladin was still alive. Same couldn't be said about the two weaker fighters, they were quickly killed and the four barbarians continued their charge past the defenses, towards a town hall where we secured all the civilians. Squad leader was still alive, dodging all the attacks and slowly pushing the barbarians back.
Colehtimus was in a hurry, he HAD to kill the giant, NOW! He got up and swung at the giant, making barely a scratch. Second swing was a miss. And he fell again. And again. And again. And again. Maybe it was he was working all night, building the defenses. Maybe it was because the armor on his legs was bent, pressing on the muscles and making it harder to stay balanced. Either way, it was a sad sight to see a fighter tumbling after every second swing. After a few minutes, Colehtimus killed the giant, and the squad leader had finished with his opponents, havig nary a scratch. Now they could deal with the barbarians that got through.Serously, I think I rolled at least 10 natural ones during the whole session.
>>46419800
We all ran to the town hall at the same time, and the barbarians retreated, preparing for the next wave.
East side was overrun by barbarians. The squad didn't make it. The attackers that got through didn't have enough time to get through the town hall's barricades, so the civilians were unhurt.
There was a handful of barbarians approaching along with two giants. Their warlord was also coming with his dragon.
We quickly healed ourselves and prepared to fight. The remaining militia were the last line of defense, stading by the town hall's doors.
Colehtimus, Brutalix, Moralius and Angelus were on the frontier.
Before the battle began, the wizard blessed the group with haste, allowing them to move faster. Then the dragon landed, warlord on its back. Everyone were shaken by the sight, except for Brutalix. The madman was looking forward to the fight! Colehtimus attempted to oercome his fears and charge at the beast, but he only managed to take a single step forward.
Two giants charged towards Brutalix the barbarian, and the other barbarians charged at the paladin. Both the paladin and the now enraged barbarian got only a few scrapes at first.
Moralius suddenly grew in size and ran to Brutalix's aid, heavily wounding one of the giants. While the three of us were fighting, Angelus was sneaking to flank the enemies and surprise the giants and the dragon with another fireball, as he noticed how effective it was before. The blast killed th wounded giant and heavily wounded the other one. The dragon only flinched from the attack. Then Brutalix swung his sword again. I don't know what unholy power took over him that day, but it gave him enough strength to kill the giant and cleave the dragon with the same swing, killing both of the beasts! Now there were only two barbarians and the Warlord left. Colehtimus attacked the barbarians, but he fell once again.
The two barbarians didn't see the fumbling paladin as a threat and attacked Moralius.
cont. last.
>>46420281
While Colehtimus the paladin was lying on the snow, Brutalix slew the warlord with a series of swings and the cleric killed his opponents with a single chain lightning.
The fight was over, the group made it alive and the town was saved with acceptable losses.DM's words, not mine.Honestly, I'm starting to feel like my paladin's a broken man by now. He has had several bad experiences in the past and this fight is taking a heavy toll on his pride. Heck, his last adventure cost him the life of his warhorse, nearly drowned in a pool of water and caused more slapstick than a player in Divinity:Original Sin walking on ice without proper footwear. I anything, his pride is in shambles.
>>46409808
DM is setting the game in sigil, so I get to play a falmer summoner (it's PF) with a dremora as eidolon. However I play as if my character is the eidolon and the frail giblin-like wreck is a pet. It's interesting.
>>46409808
Had a chat with a 500-year-old druid in a forest jam-packed with fey about which trees a budding colony could and could not cut down without angering the fey.
Learned of the cannibalistic elves that live to the west.
And the carnivorous giants that live to the far north.
And the Ancient black dragon that lives in a swamp a little less west than the elves.
Otherwise jackassed around while the colonists did the ACTUAL work of building a colony. We're there to Quote, protect them from Fey and Giants, Unquote, so any more than that sounds like a not me or the rogue's problem.
The ranger only helps out because he's a pussy and a killjoy narc.
>Party rides into port town on our sweet pirate ship
>I stay behind to work on trying to make a decent cannon (am not present when game starts) from the literal pile of junk that is our current one, made of chains and operating on friction
>Party splits into groups; most of the party had went to search for treasure, the party asshole cleric (raven) was out looking for someone who could help him learn necromancy, now that he had gained interest from reading a dark arts book stolen from a necromancer
>When I finally finish working on my shit (returning from class), everyone else was already doing something so I partner with the asshole cleric
>We find that this town is actually the spookiest of all towns, and at around midnight the wolves howl and the stars twirl and door opens to those who can't see
>Do that shit, wind up in a necromancer/philiac clan's lair.
>As luck would have it, they hate the motherfucker we stole the book from, he stole their evil plan, so we did them something of a favor.
>But not enough.
>Asshole cleric asks to join them, receiving their assistance and some powers in return.
>They dunk his face in in a pool of green water with hands reaching out of i
>He dies. I watch because he's an asshole, he asked for it, and IC had no idea when they were going to stop.
>He is promptly magically resuscitated, now biologically dead, though not decomposing.
>We leave, apparently he's fine, I buy an inn room and several drinks.
>Meanwhile, the other party went and found an old pirate repenting for his sins via asceticism via having his house's roof eternally on fire.
>They ask him about the treasure he never found. He never found it. Only that to get to it you have to have theChaos EmeraldsFetish Crystalsnot that kind of fetish, the other one. They have no distinct characteristics, so it's a pain in the ass.
>They go back to the town to find me drinking my regrets away
That's coming back to us, I know.
>>46409808
Basically, our Pathfinder campaign got passed off to a kid with a very basic idea of the rules. We've been fucking around with things we shouldn't as a result. We put a bunch of houserule spell components on a construct and made new life. It is now our wizards son.
