What was the worst game session you ever played?
>>46190509
This has popped up before on here, but here goes, the worst game session I ever played, was on in which I never actually got to play:
We were playing Rifts, and after deciding I wanted to play a Transformer, I came upon an idea: Smurf veritech pilot.
Now, I discussed this with the GM beforehand, giving voice to my reasoning and promising not to play the character for laughs. He seemed excited for the idea in that way bored neckbeards do. He helped me scale down the veritech, we came up with a sensible smurf template. Life was good. Or so I thought.
Game night rolls around, GM pulls me aside and asks that I go last when introducing my character. I think nothing of it, since the idea WAS ridiculous.
The party is introduced, normal blend of RAWR I'M A DRAGON and OHSOEDGY ASSASSINBORG, and when it comes to me, the GM goes "Anon, Topgun Smurf is out flying maneuvers, when a shimmer portal appears before his veritech. Unfortunately, this rift leads to the killer satellite field above Rifts Earth, and in seconds his veritech is destroyed, and he along with it. You can roll up a new character and jump in when you're done."
>>46190509
The first was my worst.
>Not even a teen yet
>Got to play with older brother and his friends
>Neighbor is GM
>I get a halfling rogue because the group needed a rogue
>Introduced at the same time as another character, Half-orc barbarian
>Party enters tavern
>GM "In the center of the room you see a crowd of people circled around a half-orc that is flailing and screaming, they are trying to calm him down."
>Party approaches
>Pair of halfling legs are sticking out the ass of the half-orc
>Party pulls my character free
>Adventure happens because adventure
>Plot didn't really seem to make sense, let alone why the both of our characters joined the group
>Fight, not really able to do shit with my crossbow because everyone's in melee except me
>Party kills bandits
>Told to roll sleight of hand to loot a corpse
>Fail to loot the corpse
>Party has no loot from fight
>?
>Get on boat
>Leviathan starts messing with the boat
>Party says to shoot it with crossbow
>Okay?
>Leviathan sinks boat
>Middle of ocean
>Party dies
>GM "Okay, we can either do new characters or we can have the resurrection fairies bring your characters back."
>I ask, "What's a resurrection fairy?"
>GM "They will bring your character back in a new body, but the same level and skills, if you let them use your body for sex."
>Don't play again until I find a new group in a different town.
>>46190638
That's a fucking brilliant idea. Fuck that gm
>>46190638
>Topgun Smurf
Imma gonna borrow this for future hilarity and awesomeness.
>>46190638
>GMs that do this
Never happened to me but reading about it never fails to make me mad. Why waste your player's time? Why waste your time screening a new character in the middle of a session?
>>46190888
You didn't mention whether you accepted the sex fairies's offer or not.
>>46190509
Are online magical realms acceptable?
Any and all Dungeon World games I had the bad luck of getting in. The GMs were obnoxious elitists, the other players were shills and elitists ('hey, check my playbook, i'm going to publish it!" "man, that's AWESOME"). Games were all D&D ripoffs but they never admitted it.
Fuck those guys.
>>46196031
He was an experience. I learned later that was his "method" with what he considered problem players, shaming them over character ideas in front of the group so they'd fit his idea of the social dynamic.
Going by recent memory, one Star Wars d20 session of a kinda-defunct campaign springs to mind. First off, I'd like to say that the GM is one of the nicest guys I know. I just want that written down, for the record. And now, some context!
>1006 BBY
>Old Republic's getting its kriff pushed in by The Sith
>campaign starts with party getting captured by Sith, then escaping
>after going through various misadventures, the party get to Coruscant and get hired as Republic freelance operatives
>we infiltrate a high-class function being run by an arms dealer that The Republic is ostensibly friendly with, but they suspect has cut a deal with The Sith
>posing as mercenaries trying to raise our profile, we manage to get into the restricted area down below
>turns out they're making ships for The Sith
>suddenly, we get jumped by a big ol' battle droid, but this one's different
>turns out that's because it's powered by a kaiburr crystal, so it deflects blaster shots AND lightsabers
>we end up blowing shit up, escaping by the skin of our teeth
>as we're about to get picked up, we get attacked by a Sith Lord
>again, we barely get away
>epilogue is a cutscene wih Sith Lords
>"It's just as well...it was only a prototype"
>wide shot of a whole army of kaiburr droids
Now for the session I meant:
>couple of months have passed
>pretty much everyone has been on leave, except for the Kalleesh Noble and his douchebag lesbian Trandoshan bodyguard, who "found" some spice and quickly made some swag loot
>our Jedi PCs are having a chat with some Council members, when suddenly a courier arrives with a young lady who might have some important information, but appears to be shellshocked
>our Ithorian Jedi Guardian tries to reach into her mind with The Force, but finds... nothing
>suddenly, the girl disappears, and in her place...
>A HUNDRED KAIBURR BATTLE DROIDS
TO
BE
TO BE CONTINUED
>meanwhile, the non-Jedi PCs (aside from the mercenary/pilot, whose player had work that day) go to a dive to meet up with Piloty McMerc, who has something important to tell us
>before we go in, a merchant outside tries to hawk some "talismans" that will totally protect you from The Sith, and definitely aren't just trinkets found on some archaeological dig
>I know he's full of dwang, but my Kel Dor Scout doesn't like them so I'm not saying anything
>Trandoshan decides to haggle by slamming the merchant's head into the counter on his stall, while her boss scoops up the merchant's wares to sell when he has the time
>THEN we go into the bar
>turns out it's an ambush
>"Piloty" is a shapeshifter bounty hunter
>turns out pissing off The Sith leads to them putting a realy big bounty on your head
>suddenly, I get a call from a Republic officer
>we're needed at the temple, as shit's going down, so a ship is coming to pick us up
>MEANWHILE
>Jedi NPCs are jobbing hard to the kaiburr droids
>Jedi PCs have to get the younglings to the archives
>unfortunately, one 12 year old is all "I'M A REAL JEDI NOW, AND JEDI DON'T RETREAT"
>Ithorian Guardian: "Can I just pick him up and head to the archives?"
>instead, she just uses Friendship (GM keeps calling it Calm Emotions, but Ithorian's player just calls it Friendship because it amuses her) to shut him up
>suddenly, a couple of kaiburr droids show up
>Human Jedi PC figures out that he needs to rip out some wires on the back of the droids' necks to stop them being so OP
>NPC Jedi soon follow suit
>MEANWHILE
>we're approaching the temple, when kaiburr droids leap up onto the ship
>Republic crew NPCs start jobbing hard
>Kaleesh figures out the neckwire trick
>suddenly, that Sith Lord from last session shows up
>deflects the shit out of my blaster shots, even when I aim at his feet, meaning I go down like a sack of Corellian potatoes
>Trandoshan is tough as drong, but is no match for a Sith Lord
>Kaleesh opens the cargo door...
>... and the Sith Lord immediately activates his magnetic boots
>I aim at his feet
>Deflect Shots mean I finally go down
>door is closed again
>Trandoshan just leaps at Sith Lord, who just holds her in place
>Sith Lord says "I'm only here for him", pointing at my prostrate form
To give some context, my PC had displayed some vague affinity with The Force in some sessions, and the GM suggested that I had been tested as a child, but wasn't chosen to become a Jedi
>Trandoshan tells him to go krong himself
>gets slashed by a lightsaber for her troubles, which means she's REALLY in trouble
>Kaleesh pulls out a frag grenade, tell Sith Lord to back off or he'll BLOW IT ALL UP
>Sith Lord calls his bluff, asking if the lives of his bodyguard means so little to him
>"Hah! She means nothing to me!"
>Sith Lord immediately kills the Trandoshan
>e chu ta, you really kriffed up now
>grenade gets thrown
>Sith Lord takes half damage, immediately escapes
>my PC gets thrown into space, where I am injected with something that stabilises me
>everyone else is at the temple, trying to figure out what the dwang just happened, except for the Kaleesh Noble, who's still mourning his bodyguard, and regretting that the last thing she heard was how he didn't care about her
>even the NPCs point out that Coruscant doesn't just get invaded like that
>turns out the Jedi Temple system was accessed by the human Jedi's Master...
>... EXCEPT HIS MASTER WAS KILLED IN FRONT OF HIM
>MEANWHILE
>my Scout is in a bacta tank, but one of his arms feels weird, like something metal is inserting itself at various points
>Sith Lord has his back to me, with his helmet off, revealing wires coming out of his head
>"You should rest. You'll need your strength... for your training
>DA DA-DA DA-DA-DA-DUM
The GM mentioned running a SIth Academy one-shot, but I haven't heard anything about that for a while.I think he might've found the first thread where I recapped this session.
>>46202327
>>46202378
>>46202475
that doesn't sound bad at all though
>>46202583Nick?
>>46190888
>>GM's Magical Realm
>>not surprised
>>46190888
>>46196062
>Didn't play again...
Covers it quite well, I would imagine.
Oh man /tg/ do I have a fucking story to tell you. This happened last year but it's still the worst campaign I've ever been part of in eight years.
>Be forever GM me
>Get a random skype message from a guy I haven't spoken to since High school
>He wants me to GM a Pathfinder game for him and his friends
>Their last GM apparently quit
>Say sure as there was a D&D 3.5 campaign I had been planning a while back I could adapt.
>The guy, his gf, and some third guy all contact me on skype and send me character info
>This is when I should have quit
>That guy is playing a CE gnoll barbarian who is a scitzophrenic serial killer and rapist who has the goal of impregnating as many women as possible
>girl is playing a LG wolf-girl monk who wants to find her missing mentor
>other guy is playing a TN halfling rogue who has 0 combat abilities and is apparently so much of a coward he will run from all conflict
>Thisisgoingtogopoorly.jpg
>I try and ask them to make characters a little bit more cohesive but they all throw a tantrum assuring me they could get along
>I give in and allow them to play these characters
>We play a first session a month later that's just a standard dungeon crawl and it doesn't go terribly, rogue keeps barbarian in line as they were friends in their bckstories.
>They seem to have fun and want more which is great because I was also without a group
>Campaign continues and they end up on a pirate ship
>Introduce the BBEG who is a fallen deity trying to destroy the world to regain his status
>Establish very clearly that he is immortal while on this plane
>They attack him
>I don't really want to have them die so the bbeg finds the attempt funny and leaves some minions on the boat to finish them off.
>Instead of fighting the minions they, their NPC guide, and the captain lock themselves in the captain's quarters.
>The barbarian tries to rape the female pirate captain and murders the NPC guide in his sleep. Then blames it on the monsters outside.
It just gets worse
>>46203637
>The monk fights off the BBEG's minions while the rogue hides
>they untie the barbarian
>They muzzle him
>Eventually they get back to shore and start hunting down generic pieces of macguffin to kill BBEG
>They meet a family of werewolf hunters who were intended to be reoccuring NPCs
>Wolf-girl monk wants to start shit
>I refuse to let her as she's only half werewolf and the hunters don't have a beef with her
>She tries her damndest to SJW argue about werewolf rights and shit like that
>Rogue refuses to do anything ever
>Barbarian keeps trying to rape the females in the hunters
>I'm getting real sick of this shit by now and try to figure this shit out outside of the game
>Rogue's player claims he made his character 'for diplomacy' and refuses outright to ever partake in combat unless everyone else is unconcious or dead
>That guy barbarian refuses to change anything about his character because apparently I'm being an asshole for asking him not to try and rape every single female NPC
>Monk just refuses to communicate with me outright
>Despite my growing hesitance I decide to continue the campaign
>I try and get the rogue involved in the campaign by sending the players to a political gala to make allies and to introduce some of the other more mortal villains
>Rogue refuses to interact with anyone and runs off to search the castle for loot
>Barbarian starts a fight with a noble and is thrown out by the guards
>Monk actually tries to make political allies but she has such a shit diplomacy that she fails every check by at least five
>Players complain constantly about every little thing I do and I try to appeal to their wants because I'd like to try and continue
>They later start bating BBEG to attack the capital city with an army in hopes of somehow killing him early despite the fact they barely have half of the weapon.
>BBEG does attack and stomps the capital flat, players whine that they didn't know he actually would attack
>I crave death before every session
>>46203964
>I give them an ultimatum to work together or the campaign is done.
>They agree to pull their shit together
>I think that maybe, just maybe things will get better
>I couldn't be more wrong
>Monk manages to stack some bullshit abilites to grapple and pin goddamn anything
>Barbarian builds his character to coup de grace things that the monk pins
>Combat essentially becomes those two one hit killing just about anything
>Rogue still runs from combat all the fucking time
>They travel to a myconoid kingdom to find another weapon piece
>Have a genuinely sweet moment when monk finds out her lost mentor died here and has been used as fertilizer to grow next generation of myconoids
>Barbarian gnoll comes up to her
>I twitch in horror as he starts licking her face
>Apparently gnolls are just furries
>Then I realize, that guy and his girlfriend are furries
>That guy confirms that the barbarian is his fursona
>Next session a really tough fight knocks the rogue unconcious
>Monk is also almost unconcious
>CE rapist barbarian furry is the only one not close to death
>I don't like where this is going.
>Barbarian starts raping his girlfriends character
>She messages me on skype and says she doesn't mind
>The both of them start upright ERPing
>Rogue just not reacting.
>I give up completley and quit GMing for them at this point.
>>46203637
>>46203964
>>46204077
Well, that was... yeah.
>>46204077
>>Then I realize, that guy and his girlfriend are furries
I love horror movie twists like this.
>>46203637
>>Their last GM apparently quit
This should set off over 9000 alarm bells
>>46203964
>using female npc's when not-Dahmer is one of your players
Um...
>>46205508
In hindsight I suppose changing the gender of some of the NPCs could've solved a few of the issues.
CoC playing as a cult of Dagon fighting Cthulhu cult
>Simple mission with simple goal: Find and kill enemy cultists in town
>We get guns and spells to deal with their guns and spells
>The idea is to do it in secrecy because our cult is already on FBI's shit list
>Plan is to infiltrate their "charity" ball and start shit dressed as mobsters
>Nothing major, just get their little "company" to have bad publicity so that they go to war against the mobsters
>We go in, we do our rolls, we succeed well enough
>We go over the plan we made before we came here and they giggle
>I take it as an inside joke or something i said, but ok
>I initiate the plan to get a major cultist to get mad, punch me and then start fighting the mafia we are imposing as
>What does my team do?
>Start killing everybody that is on our side and declare that they are going to join the opposing cult
>They think it's fucking hilarious and then kill my character who expressed his disdain
>"Yeah, we (the other players) decided to do this as a *giggle* surprise to see how you react because this was part of the story all along because our cultists are tired of Dagon and so is yours.
>I never heard anything of the like
>Apparently they had kept it deliberately a secret as they did say
>It was all the idea of the newest member of the group who for some reason thought it was fun to make me the group joke'
>This went on a while with my characters almost always being the butt of each of their "funny little pranks"
>Culminates with giving my an ingame curse where my characters will always be fat, ugly and dumb "just like their favored god(player)" because haha fat dudes are funny
>The rest of my group thought it was hilarious also
>I left the game because i felt i was being bullied
>All but the new guy try to apologize
>Asshole gets kicked eventually and i get invited back, but the damage is done
>Few months later i move out of town for uni stuff and cut contacts with my group
And that was my worst ever game ever
>>46207932
Wow that sucks man. Especially when you realize people you thought of as close acquaintances if not friends are willing to do something that obviously dickish. Hope you found a better group.
>>46204077
>Barbarian starts raping his girlfriends character
>She messages me on skype and says she doesn't mind
>The both of them start upright ERPing
Oh fuck no.
My worst game session is one of two, both happened within a month of oneanother, same campaign. It was Vampire the Masquerade, dunno what edition, don't care. We played over skype. I'd played a few games with these guys before and had braced myself for obscure memes, anime references but a decent enough campaign. Oh how wrong I was.
>Roll us a Nosferatu hacker, put points into contacts and assistants across the city, people on the 911 switchboards, first responders and the like.
>My meta plan is to be able to have a guy at the scene of most crimes so I get as clean an image as possible before someone else tampers with it.
>GM okays the plan, says it sounds cool.
>First session is at some science museum in Elysium, San Francisco.
>GM runs it like some weird college frat thing, me and the Nosferatu are out to prank the Toreadors who are being faggots
>Ventrue are snubbing the Brujah
>Really enjoy it, toilet-roll Toreador cars, clog the toilets of their retainers and turn on the fire sprinklers in wings they're in.
>Serious fun, all in about 45 minutes.
>Time to introduce the other players. Powergamer playing a Tremere cop, buddy of mine playing a clanless (forget their proper name), fishmalk kid, 12 years old and very spoopy. We also have another Tremere, Angst-bot 1000. Final character is a Lasombra, she's at Elysium for reasons we don't know, is played by powergamers wife.
>Get a bad feeling in my stomach.
>Turns out we're tasked by the prince (who spouts some sick memes and anime references) wants us to investigate some company called 'Aperture Science'. And it's not a reference, just a coincidence.
>I should say, the GM has a boner for the technocracy that I suspect did most of his typing for him. He fucking loved the technocracy.
>>46208067
>Me and the other characters swap backstories. I fluffed myself as some script kiddie who stumbled onto something he shouldn't have and got turned, generic Nos stuff.
>Powergamer offers no backstory, instead a list of gimmicks. He rejects modern technology, it literally breaks and malfunctions around him. He carries a 1980's brick mobile that has all the functionality of a modern smartphone despite it being 1999.
>Fishmalk makes up some limmericks, none of us trust him.
>Angst bot is originally from Switzerland, but fled persecution there in 1940, moving through Germany and France to go to America.
>Myself and my mate note that that was when WW2 was happening, does that play into his story at all? It could be really cool.
>Oh was it? No it's not important.
>Broods eternally as though he wandered through Auschwitz on the way and nearly got set on fire.
>My mate is a Caitiff (got the name), doesn't know his mentor and accepts that he never will. Runs IC on the assumption that he may be Brujah or Gangrel as he feels a kinship with animals, wants to get some bloodhounds and ghoul them as an OOC goal.
>Lasombra has a butler called Salem, no backstory, just the party bank really.
>The stage is set.
Do you guys want to hear about how we got stuck in a changeling dream with a 1920s mobster and the fishmalk was the only one who knew the way out
OR
The time we tried to steal some information and were met with Batman armed with a .50 calibre sniper rifle who was crazy prepared. Both were fucking awful sessions.
>>46208193
That's entirely too bad... From the way you are setting this up, both could have been frankly amazing.
>>46208193
Changeling dream. I have high hopes for how horrible fishmalk is going to be.
>>46208299
They could have but both were just bad. Frustrating to play, I can count the number of times I've been frustrated to play in an RPG and every time was in a game GM'd by this guy. He also ran a DH CoC inspired game that involved me getting my cock cut off, just bad.
I'll do Changeling dream first.
>Through means never explained to myself, my buddy or apparently the Swiss Tremere, the party finds out that the Fae folk have some information for us about Aperture Science.
>They open a portal for us on the coast of Alcatraz.
>Me and my buddy straight up say "What if it's a trap? Who even are these fairies? What's going on?"
>We get brow-beaten into following the party into, surprise surprise, a trap.
>Swiss-man tsch's.
>We're now on Alcatraz as it is in the fae world or something
>A thick forest of golden trees, studded with dilapidated houses that look like they're from the middle ages.
>The houses all have TVs in them or something.
>We appear in one of these houses, the portal closes behind us.
>The fishmalk starts to laugh and runs off into the woods
>The telly turns on
>It's a 1920's mobster, he says we're trapped here just like him unless we can solve the riddle.
>We find the mobster eventually, he's standing guard over a golden gate that's connected to a bridge over water.
>Me and the Caitiff have no idea what's happening, we're hackers/muscle.
>The wizards are having a great time not telling us anything
>They swap rhetoric with the mobster, he gives us an apple.
>Angst bot seizes upon the prompt and shouts "IT'S TEMPTATION! Don't eat it!"
>Apparently that was it.
>A snake comes over to us, on fire.
>It turns into the fishmalk
>The mobster nods, the gate unlocks and we're free to cross it.
>Apparently while this was happening, the fishmalk went into one of the houses and hid behind a sofa where he found something.
>How or why he became a snake isn't important.
>We cross the bridge and end up back in San Francisco.
>Apparently we got the info we needed.
>>46208460
>Apparently we did it.
>Not sure what we did, but I know I spent five and a half hours sat on skype trying to figure out just what the riddle actually was.
>Turns out it's the easiest religious imagery you can get short of Superman being like Jesus.
>Still don't know what the information is, or why the mobster was guarding it.
>Was he guarding it? I don't know, even to this day.
>Tremere cop nods, satisfied that he solved the riddle.
>The Prince calls us up and tells us to come to a meeting.
>Praises the wizards of the party
>Rips on me and Caitiff
>Calls reliance on technology a short-sighted attitude
>I think this is IC and that he's just being an old prince afraid of THE FUTUUUURE!
>Apparently halfway through the exchange it stopped being In character and just a critique of me and the Caitiff.
>"What good did you think you'd be? You don't even have points in Occult"
>"No Auspex, it could've been a trap!"
>I say "Wasn't this meant to be an espionage style campaign, infiltrating a company to steal their information? I figured I'd fit right in"
>GM laughs, says I shouldn't count on that.
>Session ends, wizards get XP, I get nothing and a "maybe you should try to integrate more with the party. apply yourself"
>Should've quit. Didn't. Three weeks later, we board THE BOAT.
>>46208574
Segwaying from IC to OOC in any given speech is almost guaranteed to be a bad thing...
>>46208574
>GM laughs, says I shouldn't count on that.
Yeah that would be Magento Flag Code 11 for me. Fuuuuuck that.
>>46208574
>GM laughs, says I shouldn't count on that.
Ahahahaha, Anon who cares what you want? This is MY MAGICAL REALM, not yours!
>>46208574
>>46208633
>>46208659
I should've listened!
>I should say, that my character concept has proven to be utterly useless.
>Tremere cop has a ghoul who's also a cop, and he gets all the information that my character concept was utterly built around.
>I'm left prompting the GM when we get to anything interesting, "If the police are here then maybe my contact was?"
>Oh uh yeah sure, but the Ghoul has all the info for you.
>Info goes straight to the Tremere, we get half the story. His wife probably knows as well.
>Anyway, we learn that Aperture Science own a giant cargo freighter that's docking overnight in the harbour.
>Apparently there's something on it that we need.
>Heist time! I'm googling maps of San Fran bay, finding out where the Lasombra house is since that's our base
>I hire boats, invest my characters money to get us on that ship as quietly as possible.
>Turns out the Lasombra just charms the harbour master
>Fair enough, disappointing but we play to our strengths.
>Current plan is, everyone but me goes in.
>I'm watching from afar.
>In my dinghy.
>Despite me not seeing anything in three hours of surveillance, a sniper opens fire from the crows nest as the party approaches the boat up the pier.
>It's a fucking .50 calibre sniper rifle
>Our Caitiff goes down to aggravated, nearly frenzies.
>OOC we're going "what the fuck? What security uses .50 calibre?"
>"Maybe he got tipped off? Who knows?!"
>I suspect a rat in the camarilla
>I use my animalism
>Summon a flock of birds that swarm the crows nest, blocking snipers line of fire
>It doesn't work. He sinks my dinghy
>And shoots the Swiss vamp.
>Lasombra and Tremere cop make it onboard.
>Security have flamethrowers
>I'm shouting "Bail! ABORT!" over my ear-piece as I tread water
>GM says we can't, it has to be tonight.
>Caitiff makes it on the boat alongside Swiss cheese.
>I climb the sheer steel of the boat somehow
>We manage to take out a few patrolling guards
>Head to the bridge
>>46208826
>Security have flamethrowers
I laughed.
You're gonna do your heist, and all you're gonna find in the safe is a statuette of Jeezus flipping you the birdmade of a piece of the Holy Cross so you catch on fire and die.
>>46208633
It's "segue" not segway.
>>46208826
>We're met by not-Glados
>"I suppose you thought you'd get some cake. Assume the position"
>The bridge blows up
>We're all nearly dead, I again suggest we bail as the fishmalk climbs out of a shipping container.
>hai guyz what's happening?
>Explain the situation, fishmalk nods "I thought so, follow me"
>We go back into the exploded bridge
>Fish malk hacks the AI
>I say "Surely this should be my thing?"
>GM says "yeah, you can give him assistance, take two extra die"
>Fishmalk crit succeeds, the AI loves him and he downloads it to a floppy disk
>So we can use it with Tremere cop without it breaking
>He only seems to break things when it's relevant for him.
>AI says "The information you need is in the hold"
>I ask the AI who tipped it off that we were coming
>Lasombra says "that's not important now, lets' go into the hold"
>chomping at the bit here
>The hold is a bomberman grid of claymore mines, infrared booby traps and trip-wire flamethrowers.
>At the end of it all, ontop the highest crate that gives absolute line of sight is the sniper with night vision and incendiary .50 cal rounds
>GM says "it's because he knows you're vampires"
>Says "Your crow stunt tipped him off, you made it harder for everyone else"
>I offer up "Are you sure it wasn't the bit where two of us survived .50 cal rounds?"
>"Lots of supernatural stuff can do that"
>I give up arguing, we could've been werewolves doing animal shit, we could've been fucking anything but security already had flamethrowers
>Accept that the whole operation is my fault
>We slog through the equivalent of a DnD dungeon, getting shot by incendiary ammo and blowing up mines everywhere
>Eventually we reach the base of the snipers tower
>He rappels away, climbing through a hatch on the ceiling
>I'm about to punch my monitor
>Tremere cop thinks he's found a worthy adversary
>Climbs up to his crows nest
>It's mined, lol he was expecting that
>There's a pda with a video recording
>Works despite tremere cop holding it
>>46190638
>You can roll up a new character and jump in when you're done."
>in Rifts
Oh man.
>>46208988
>I say "Surely this should be my thing?"
How naive you are my friend...
>GM says "it's because he knows you're vampires"
I'm right because I'm right FUCK YOU
>>46208826
>>46208988
Geez, did you run over the GM's dog or something? Why the hell did he have it in for you?
>>46208067
>>46208193
>>46208460
>>46208574
>>46208826
>>46208988
>World of Darkness
Not even once.
>>46208929
That would've been nicely memed and I could've quit with a clear conscience then. Unfortunately I kept going for another session.
>>46208988
It's a video recording of the sniper
>"I don't know what the hell you guys are but I'm getting the hell out of this. Don't follow me and I won't come near you or your kind again"
>GM says we scared him off, it's like a victory!
>But he knew we were vampires or at least supernatural?
>Ignored.
>We also apparently got the data, it was the AI.
>We didn't need to go into that hell.
>Everyone wants to go back to the Camarilla to report in.
>Wait guys, what about the bit where they knew we were coming and we only got this information a few days ago? There's clearly a mole
>Tremere cop plans to call the moles bluff by only pretending to be retarded.
>We go back to the Camarilla
>Hand over the floppy disk with the AI
>"Thank you, you've saved me quite a bit of bother."
>"I won't be needing your services anymore"
>Princes bodyguards are firing flamethrowers at us in Elysium
>I jump out a window into the bay
>Caitiff joins me
>Everyone else fights their way out
>Swisscheese hails the unexpected twist, wants to keep going.
At this point, the GM says
>"So guys, that's the campaign intro (it took three months), obviously now it opens up a bit and you can continue to investigate Aperture Science how you want without me sort of kinda railroading you a bit.
>Sound fun?
I fucking bail.
>No thanks mate, it's been fun but I think that's enough vampire for me.
>"Yeah no I understand, it didn't really feel like you were meshing well with it. You could've perhaps seen a whole lot of stuff if you'd tried to hack them and read their emails and stuff. Oh well, better luck next time"
>Fuck you.
>Leave.
>Caitiff had much the same reception, I spoke with him afterwards. Apparently he got the same talk but instead of hack it was "you could've leant on them a bit and intimidated them".
>Fuck everything.
>>46208988
>"I suppose you thought you'd get some cake. Assume the position"
>Assume the position
>>46209127
I don't know, he's best buds with Tremere cop in every game we've ever played, even when Tremere cop was GMing and I've always gotten the short end of the stick on interactions but this cemented it.
>>46209133
Hate the player not the game. I have to believe that.
>>46209166
You are asked to assume the party escort submission position in Portal, you're basically detained and killed unless you escape.
>>46209150
God, all of this was retarded. Just by reading that, my I.Q must have gone in the negatives...
>tfw every game you've joined has been horrible but not in any interesting ways
It would be one thing if I could have seen pure insanity from THAT GUY(s) and magical realm horrors, because then I'd at least have an interesting story to tell.
But no.
Every game I've joined has just been very short lived and boring.
Generic fantasy shit that goes nowhere.
>>46209150
>Tremere cop plans to call the moles bluff by only pretending to be retarded.
I'm fucking dying.
What a shitshow of a DM.
>>46209249
I can perhaps post another, detailing when the same GM tried to run a CoC game in Dark heresy. But it'll have to wait until the morning, if the thread is still alive.
>>46209354
Your choice.
I'm down for more.
>>46190509
I almost wish I had sessions bad enough to be worth a story; as it stands all my worst ones are just brief and underwhelming, little slices of Show up, fight bad guy, go home. Occasionally spread out over multiple sessions when you can't fit showing up and fighting bad guy in a single session.
>>46209403
You know what? Fuck it, nothing going tomorrow.
To set the story
>This is before the VtM game.
>Just finished a long campaign run by Tremere Cop.
>GM proposes a short campaign based heavily upon Call of Cthulhu using Dark Heresy.
>I'm in, I love Call of Cthulhu.
>Roll up an Adept, lores for xenology, the warp, what have you
>I'm going to read everything and my brain will melt out my ears
>Tremere Cop rolls up a Metallican Gunslinger
>Swiss cheese is the same character he plays in every game, broody assassin using non-conventional weapon (in this case a dagger on a string)
>Caitiff isn't here
>Fishmalk plays a psyker
>Disgonbgud.png
>Other player rolls up a Sister of Battle.
>We all know the GM is a huge Necron fan (recurring theme go!) and an Adeptus Mechanicus fan.
>We're sent to a world to investigate rumors of cult activity in xenos ruins
>We start the campaign on a train to the local city
>We pass through a tunnel
>I see some sort of Dragon within the tunnel, long and spooky and black as the void.
>Pretty much his exact words
>Iwonderwherethisisgoing.avi
>We arrive at the city and I decide to look up local lore on the old xeno ruins to see what I can find.
>GM says "Roll int and take however many degrees of success or failure you get as Insanity Points"
>I roll really well, I'm already a bit loony.
>Never actually get the info I rolled so well for.
>The psyker apparently see's a little girl in a crowd who says "You're all going to die down here"
>Gunslinger laughs and says "shit we're in for it now"
>The investigation turns out to be the Gunslinger smooth talking people in bars who saw
>metal skeletons come to life
>My hype is diminished, the first session has only just ended.
>>46209613
> (in this case a dagger on a string)
I'm picturing the guy launching his dagger and a cat jumping out of nowhere to play with the shiny toy on a string.
>Never actually get the info I rolled so well for.
Oh, hey you know that info you risked your sanity to get? Well it doesn't exist! On another note, fuck you.
>My hype is diminished, the first session has only just ended.
Fly, you fool!
>>46209613
>GM asks for thoughts
>I say "It may be meta but I'm expecting some twist or something, interested to see what you've cooked up"
>Oh you have no idea, it's gonna be great!
>I nervously sweat.
>Next session starts, the Gunslinger apparently got a lead that a bunch of workers who saw the metal skeletons have all been reassigned and are working in a single mine near where we are, under supervision by the Adeptus Mechanicus.
>I smell a plot thread
>Figure out where this mine is and all of its logistics
>Turns out they're "what you'd expect"
>I'll take "Mechanicus are in the Necrons thrall and being exploited" to go with that please GM
>As a group we try to sneak into the mine to figure out what's going on.
>I get captured, the cell slips into the mines.
>I'm taken into the control tower, which is made of cold black metal (not what I expected) and lit with an eiree green light.
>I'm strapped to a table
>Get castrated by tech priests
>GM asks "what do you do?"
>Flail about uselessly and scream
>Party bust in and save me, turns out they got what they needed.
>Mission success?
>Turns out 'what they needed' was a club that a deal was going down at.
>Sister of Battle poses as a joygirl, everyone else slips in and pretends to be a miner.
>We spy a tech priest swapping something with another in a private booth
>Sister pulls out boltpistol and kills one, the other flees
>Guess we're not covert anymore?
>I ransack the dead tech priest, find a data slate that's heavily encrypted
>SoB takes it and "hides it in her cleavage"
>We leave the club, Gunslinger flashes his Inquisitorial Rossette that only he has and the police give us no trouble
>huh
>We follow the escaped priest, he's gone into the mines
>We follow him
>SoB decides we need disguises so he doesn't know we're chasing him
>We don overalls and go into the mine
>Tech Priest finds us, says it was a fucking stupid idea
>I agree, the Tech priest retrieves the data slate from the SoB's cleavage
>>46209826
>I nervously sweat.
Does this GM have a hard on for the Gunslinger player? Smells like a lot of favoritism. Also at least he was a good enough GM to decide donning a pair of overalls is a stupid fucking disguise.
>>46209245
>Hate the player not the game. I have to believe that.
I played World of Darkness before, and I think the game is overly-edgy, poorly-written tripe, and the players are pretentious fart-sniffers.
>>46209826
>>Get castrated by tech priests
But... why?
>Sister of Battle poses as a joygirl
Just what?
>SoB takes it and "hides it in her cleavage"
Flash news: Local Sister of Battle found to be slut with bleached hair.
>retrieves the data slate from the SoB's cleavage
I've seen enough hentai to see where this is going...
>>46209813
I'm a glutton for punishment, what can I say? I'm fairly sure the dagger was based on something, perhaps it was an anime or something from Shogun Total War.
>>46209826
>We get escorted out of the mine, the tech priest loudly stating "You've not seen anything incriminating"
>Guess we didn't
>Psyker comments that he saw the metal skeletons
>Gunslinger nods gravely, "it's worse than we feared"
>I agree, I got castrated for no fucking reason that I can tell.
>I'm currently on 15 Insanity points or something, I'm not even respectably 'addled'
>Gunslinger calls in Inquisitorial Aid
>On what basis I know not
>Within two days of drinking at a bar and me desperately trying to do research, the Imperial fleet arrives
>We finally get to go to the ancient xeno ruins
>There are obelisks and great monoliths that are cyclopean and non-euclidean. All the buzzwords for bonafide cosmic horror.
>We see metal skeletons, I apparently know they're called Necrons now
>A whole column of them marching through a valley
>Atop a rock at the head of the valley, an arch magos of the mechanicum is talking with what I know to be a Necron Lord
>Psyker says "we have to infiltrate the army and kill the lord"
>Gunslinger agrees
>He gets us some red robes
>We march alongside Necrons
>Roll a few disguise checks
>Turns out they're as perceptive as a bread roll
>We reach the Magos
>Gunslinger shoots him and kills him in one shot
>Psyker warp lightnings the lord
>Kills him too?
>A Valkyrie lands to pick us up
>In the middle of a Necron army
>We take off
>Apparently a giant metal centipede is approaching the city
>what the fuck
>Apparently our Valkyrie has multiple decks and is equipped with Lance weapons, the only thing that can defeat the Tomb Stalker
>Oh, I know it's called a Tomb Stalker.
>Flayed Ones materialise in the Hanger Bay of the Valkyrie.
>We fight them off
>I nearly die
>Should be prepared for combat anon, even investigators in Call of Cthulhu have to go guns blazing at some point!
>>46209826
>Get castrated by techpriests
Fucking what? WHAT GM DOES THAT!? Come on, he should be setting off red flags in his own head by that point!
>>46209959
I'm positive he does. The SoB player was the most disagreeable of our group and he picked the SoB specifically because it was harder for them to be driven insane due to some trait or other. A dick slapping against another dick is still gay, even if it's helping you.
>>46209971
That's largely my experience, but I believe that one day I'll play a good game of it.
>>46209989
I guess the C'tan made them do it?
I don't know
Data Slates tend to be pretty big, consider the ramifications of her cleavage size
It wouldn't have surprised me.
>>46210015
>Now fully aware that not being able to fight a flayed one is my Achilles Heel, I go up several decks of the Valkyrie to the cockpit
>I assist the psyker who's our pilot
>There's a fucking tomb stalker attacking the city
>Green lasers flying everywhere
>GM describes how it:
>Sort of lifts its giant head over a building and then shoots a green laser of unknown energy straight down into it. Like independence day
>I'm not fucking joking.
>Luckily, we have lance weapons on our multi-deck Valkyrie.
>The Flayed Ones are dead
>We kill the Tomb Stalker
>Get a parade of congratulations
>The Adeptus Mechanicus get away with everything
>We get on the train
>I see the dragon made of void again
>Says "I'm not done with you yet"
GM ends his four session bonanza there, asking if we enjoyed it.
>Ever British, I say it was certainly a ride and thank him for running.
>Do you want to play again Anon? I've got a tonne of ideas that I'd love to do, and I also want to run a game of Vampire sometime"
>Bail on other DH games, they never happened 'without a lore character to understand what was going on'
>Sign on for Vampire, SoB player leaves us after an argument and my Caitiff buddy joins.
>>46210015
>loudly stating "You've not seen anything incriminating"
Dude you are a techpriest, not a Jedi. Not the same setting, you know?
>I agree, I got castrated for no fucking reason that I can tell.
kek
>On what basis I know not
He saw your pain and decided to be done with it.
>me desperately trying to do researc
Read: desperately trying to forget your castration/get it up.
>Kills him too?
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
>A Valkyrie lands to pick us up
Hey John, what's that? That's a plane, Marc. Oh, okay.
>>46210189
>That's largely my experience, but I believe that one day I'll play a good game of it.
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
>>46210220
If I've proven something with these stories, it's that I sure love setting myself up for disappointment.
>>46210189
>not being able to fight a flayed one is my Achilles Heel
Nah, your Achille's Heel is where your balls used to be.
>Sort of lifts its giant head over a building and then shoots a green laser of unknown energy straight down into it
Godzilla!?!
>I see the dragon made of void again
He tastes of butterfly and the world is mellow, just like my purple cat!
>Says "I'm not done with you yet"
You are staying with me until you like it, bitch!
>Ever British, I say it was certainly a ride and thank him for running.
Ride to Hell: Retribution is what you might be looking for.
>>46210277
Welp, glad I provided some amusement.
>Ride to hell: Retribution
Fuck no man, that's just awful.
G'night all
>>46190638
Please tell me you had the self respect to get up and leave. I would never allow that shit to fly, my time (most of it anyway) is valuable
>>46190638
At least that Rifts campaign with the hyena, the mystic, and the bulldog cerberus was fun right?
>>46213727
Yup, I did indeed have the good sense to know that wasn't a place I needed to be. I found out later that group lasted all of 3 sessions, and then imploded. Guy still comes in to the LGS but mostly to play, not GM.
>>46213966
Yes, yes it was.Go away ed.
>>46214039
Fine, but we'll have to get together and reminisce soon!
New dn refused to rub prenade missions and would write the whole thing himself
In the first mission we where monologues at by
a evil, talking dire bat
A evil talking dire wolf
A evil talking talking unicorn
So out of anger we eventually made evil bat skin cape a evil wolfs fur rug and evil glue
Dam once allowed a new player to make a catfolk samurai ninja bleach expy it only went down hill from there
>Pathfinder with a new party, they know each other from a previous campaign
>GM tells me they're pretty serious and involved, they all love RPing and everything will be fine
>looks like a nice guy so I accept
>2 hours ride to his home, this better be a godlike game
>its not
>party is oversexualized human paladin, along with tower shield 10 CHA cleric, gnome mage and newbie rogue wearing a DOTA t-shirt
>herewego.jpg
>rolling a dwarf crossbow ranger with a buffalo companion
>GM tells me the rogue and I are part of a guild he made up, basically the Pathfinder Society with a different name
>Enter town, grab a beer
>Suddenly town is under siege
>Guards lock us with literally every other person in the city inside the keep, we get to know the other PCs there
>Turns out thebandits/cultists who are besieging the city sent dopplegangers to infiltrate between the refugees
>Paladin detects evil, we execute one of them
>EXPLOSIONS
>they breach the keep, enemy boss storming the city
>she's a dwarf female barbarian riding a chimaera
>initiative roll
>rogue tries to sneak behind, boss spots him
>rogue is dead, one straight shot
>we manage to bring down the boss and put together our friend's remains
>he is pissed as fuck but says nothing
>the king, or whatever he is, tells us there PROBABLY is a secret door in the throne room
>never used in centuries, we need to escort the entire population through it
>immediately find the secret door with detect magic
>it's a portal to a giant dungeon
>2 immortal DMPCs are covering our expedition
>they never try shit and never provide useful informations though they are indefinitely stronger than us
continues
>>46214982
>ask about my buffalo
>GM says it's lost
>ask why
>he was caught in the siege and there's no chance I can get him back from the stables
>I tell him I hadn't a single chance to grab him since he literally teleported us inside the keep
>says buffalo isn't an adequate animal companion anyway
>we move on with the campaign, 40 refugees behind us, apparently the entire population of the city
>we're in the underdark
>next 5 sessions are inside the dungeon
>everytime we have to go back and escort the refugees through the recently discovered locations
>encounters are far beyond our level, we manage to pass them as soon as the GM loses interest in torturing us and makes the monsters do something stupid
>30 hours of playing, we're still inside, refugees starving
>we meet a driad living alone in this shithole
>says she is here for the sole purpose of reincarnating into a fallen hero
>immediately brings the rogue back to life
>every chance to roleplay this is cut, we are forced to proceed with the dungeon
>6th session ends
>we all get a text from the GM: "yo guys I realized this game has become less fun recently so I think it's better to split"
>everyone immediately agrees
>I will never ride a buffalo
The worst game I ever played in...
It was a couple years ago. This was before I got really into the hobby.
>at convention
>sign up to play dnd adventure league
>wait all fucking day for a game
>spend all damn day sitting near game tables waiting
>I was an idiot
>talk with cool college guy, we tell each other about our characters
>I had made a paladin, wrote a backstory and personality for her in my head
>Was pretty proud of the character
She was ridiculously stoic, raised in a convent, but went out into the world to kick ass in the name of the light and cleanse filth.
>I was looking forward to interacting with other characters
I later realized adventure league was the pure essence of "you are in a 10 foot by 10 foot room there is an orc" and has next to no roleplay.
>game finally starts
>cool college bro is in my game too!
>this will be great!
>before game, fat balding dm takes moment to talk about his special stickers
>he had a sheet of gravestone stickers
>they were for characters who died in his campaigns
>says he wants to earn some more for his screen
This was my second game ever. This red flag was a mile wide and I missed it.
>game starts
>try and roleplay with party members
>chat with college bros dwarf
>in game, were escorting a caravan
>bandit attack, because what else?
>bandits include a mage flinging weak spells and a rogue popping in and out of the shrubs
>mage is off to side
>charge him
Then, the blow to the chest.
>he pulls a freeze spell out of his ass
>Maria the paladin is frozen in place
>spit curses at him, keeping in character
>rouge pops out of bush
>coup de grace
Turn fucking three
>dm laughs
>hands me a pen and makes me fill out one of his fucking gravestone stickers
>I leave, broken
Came back by gaming room later that day.
no one else had died. I was some sort of ritualistic sacrifice to appease the dickbag dm.
That nearly turned me off of tabletop, but I made a friend who was into it who got me interested again, so all swell that ends well.
>>46215487
I think I remember hearing this story before
>>46215609
Yeah, you heard it from me.
I posted it in a that guy thread.
But im not him.
I'm college bro.
>>46215487
What's going on, kid?
I'm actually really glad that fatass didn't ruin the hobby for you.
>>46215707
Great thors beard, is that really you?
DUDE!
I figured you might be here but shit!
Tabletop has accepted me into its warm bosom, although Maria the paladin is still in my file of characters I want to use.im a forever gm now send help
>>46215783
Oh geeze. Don't worry, you'll get out eventually.
I remember your role playing. Your probably a good gm.
I'm happy you found a good group.
At least, I'm assuming their good.
Are you on steam?
>>46215865
Yes.
Just look for:
Her majesty's secret surface
You'll find me.
Damn, what a way to run into you.
>>46215160
>I will never ride a buffalo
What is life without riding the majestic buffalo?
