The elves are the French of the fantasy world. Both are often considered a highly advanced race with a long history and a taste for the arts. Both are often depicted by others as prancing sissies who flee at the first sight of violence, yet both have proven to be ferocious and competent in the art of war. Both are depicted as gay, yet others can't stop talking about how much they want to fuck their women. Both carry themselves with a sense of pride befitting of their achievements that is interpreted as arrogance by the outside world. And of course, both are in a state of decline and fighting a permanent war against a savage, subhuman race that wishes to douse the flame of their civilization.
>>46069154
>fighting a permanent war against a savage, subhuman race that wishes to douse the flame of their civilization.
The British?
>>46069175
>>46069175
Arabs anon, always Arabs.
>>46069232
Have you looked at British teeth?
Orcs.
Have you looked at British women?
Orcs.
I might accept Arabs as dark elves.
>>46069154
Wasn't this posted, like, yesterday?
>>46069273
>Arabs
>Elves
Nope.
Slavs are the true elves.
The genocidal kind.
Yes we saw it when someone posted this.
You don't need to make another thread.
>>46069232
Yes. After all, France was on-and-off allies with the Ottomans in the middle ages.
![to_ekoi2_by_agawar-d8w45bo[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/kLM1k4I.png "to_ekoi2_by_agawar-d8w45bo[1].png")
Frenchy elves seems to be a more popular thing as of late.
>>46069175
>>46069193
>>46069232
>>46069273
silly anons, we all know the true orcs are those culturally inferior germanic cretins.I mean, listen to their language and tell me it doesn't sound Orcish.
>>46069154
That's clearly a human, moron
>>46069613
You do realize english is a germanic language, right?
>>46069633
Which would probably make the English Hobgoblins.
Going by sounds alone, English and German sound quite dissimilar.
>>46069154
>>46069175
>Brits
>destroying civilisation
Totally unrelated point, anon, but are you enjoying your post-industrial society?
I would at least accept >>46070279 though. Lawful Evil best Evil.
>>46069154
The French are dirty, rude, smelly, arrogant cunts who should be wiped off the face of the earth.
Source: me, visited France twice (unfortunately)
>>46069535
Nah, slavs are mutated dwarves
>>46070658
>dirty, rude, smelly, arrogant cunts who should be wiped off the face of the earth.
So, wood elves, then.
>>46070658
Maybe they just acted like that to you because you were being a cooont.
>>46069154
Elves in majority of non DnD fiction are not like that
In Elder Scrolls for example they are eugenics practicing universal nazis
I really wanna eat Eva's ass
>>46069154
So? What do you want with us?
>>46070696
>In Elder Scrolls for example they are eugenics practicing universal nazis
Autism.
>>46070658
You must have visited Paris, m8. But as a french, I agree more or less, even if it's more toward strangers. In between frenchfag, we get along just fine most of the time... Holy shit, we're really elves.
>>46071084
>Elves being autistic
Nihil sub sole novum...
>>46069154
I see you copied my pasta.
>>46069489
I never thought I'd see that comic on /tg/. I also never thought I'd see a reference to the furry scale outside of /tg/.
>>46069633
Actually, that's technically neither of those since in this particular setting nobody is referred to as Elves. However, seeing as these guys shtick is using a bow really well (and having pointed ears), we can suppose this is an Elf.
>>46070658
I feel you. Come to Britanny! Where the only thing more important than chasing strangers away is getting drunk and eating good food (which makes us dwarves incidentally.)"
>>46071123
>"Get out of my forest, you goddamn stranger!"
>"Now Lirael, you were saying?"
>>46071203
>He actually speaks Common to foreigners
Oh shit Jean-Lirael what are you doing?
>>46071203
Nice try Borvelec, but stop trying to look like a dorf now, you're still French and you'd better get used to it, and take solace in the fact that at least you're not from Paris.
Fuck Paris.
Also, don't you have a rain to be doused by?
>>46070696
In the Elder Scrolls setting the High Elves are oh-so-superior and live in literal crystal towers, the Wood Elves are cannibals, the Dark Elves are demon-worshippers, the Orsimer are fuckin' ORCS, and I don't even know what's up with the other three variants.
I think most non-D&D Elves have a tendency to be more of the "Wood Elf" type? If I'd have to guess, it's because two of the three Elven places in Tolkien's pre-Silmarillion work are in the woods. And the modern Elf is very much of Tolkien's breed.
>>46069154
>Both are often considered a highly advanced race
"The French" are not a race. There is no such thing as races in modern humans.
So are germans dwarves then? Long history of conflict with elves/french, famous for their technology, wont shut up about their empire in the olden times, beer, keep complaining about everything but yet try to help the younger races.
>>46071252
Flamers have degenerated into underground beasts (Except for one guy) and Dweomers are dwarves.
So /tg/, what european nations twin with which fantasty races, I'd say:
>French=Elves
>Germans=Orcs
>Spanish/Portuguese/Filthy Iberians=Mer-people
>Poles=Dwarves
>Brits=Goblins
>Irish=Wood elves or some sort of naturey hicks.
>>46071138
Why are you quoting the Ecclesiastes in Latin anon?
>>46071281
Irish are kender
>>46071245
In Britanny, they have a saying, it goes:
"En Bretagne, il ne pleut que sur les cons."
I'll let you figure that one out yourself.
Also Borvelec, really? More like Brovelec.
>>46071185
It's the second time I've seen this particular crop this week.
>>46071071
>>46071295
Yeah, same here.
>>46071252
Falmer are goblinoids now, Dwemer were magic musician elves with neckbeards, Maormer are pirates.
>>46071262
Yes but there are marginally different ethnies. Still, the Himalayan Sherpas for instance have a gene that makes them better able to breathe in high altitudes. Dark-skinned people fare better under a harsh sun than light-skinned ones. So you have minor specialization within the human race that would perhaps correspond to snow elves/forest elves/city elves.
>>46071305
DLQ?
>>46071281
>Germans = dwarves
Because they hid in their country and have a shitload of money
>>46071292
I don't need to figure it out, bouffeur de crêpes (délicieuses au demeurant) I'm not speaking to you as a stranger. But you have to accept your frenchiness one day or another.
>>46071269 This guy had a suggestion about who the dorfs could be and you don't hear me ranting about my beard just because I'm from Alsace.
Or whatever the way they plan to change the region names to.
>>46071303
WELL HERE'S YOUR FUCKING ELF
>>46071331
depends on when in history you look. During the 18th and 19th century for example, the Germmans were seen as a high cultured, artistic people, who were constantly grieving over the loss of their ancient empire and their spreading into many different little nations. At the same time, they were envied for all the great music, artwork and philosophy they produced.
In other words, they were pretty much the "dying race" Elves.
>>46071303
>>46071281
Nah, Poles are more like halflings: They inhabit Plains, love their home and don't like foreigners.
I see it as:
Brits: Humans&Wood Elves
French: Elves
Germany: Humans
Poland: Halflings
Nordic Countries: Humans&Dwarves
Spanish/Italy/Greece: Sea Elves
Ukraine, Belarus, Russia: Greenskins
>>46071397
Oh, yeah, Jews are Gnomes, obviously. They often lose their home, like gold, are good with numbers and they tend to be target of pogroms.
>>46071318
not sure if /pol/
>>46071303
>>46071397
what about the dutch?
i can't realy place them anywhere.
>>46071303
It was at this point I realized I had surprisingly few pictures of elves in my image folders.
>go to paris
>it looks like a goddamn Damascus bazaar and I heard more people speaking arabic than actual French
>declining empire of effeminate fair folk
Yeah the french are definitely elves.
>>46071424
Merfolk. Sea jews that speak like they have water in their mouth.
>>46069154
Elves are Finns, any other answer is wrong
>>46071288
His probably gay or something
>>46071424
I'd pick Merfolks or Humans.
>>46069613
Tbh orkish sounds more like cockney
>>46070279
English took the french dick so long, it enjoyed it.
Other germanic languages kept it more platonic.
>>46071465
Orkish yes, orcish is turkic
But they are not. Paris was a cesspool or misery and squalor before Napoleon III demolished it and rebuilt it again. Life expectancy was 25 years. Parisians were banned from leaving the city. People lived on top of mass graves. It was not unusual to find your basement filled with rotting corpses from a collapsed section of the walls. Tannery streets disposed of their waste on open sewers, or the street turned into a not only dirty, but outright toxic river.
>>46071380
How did they grieve over the loss of something they never had?
t. Voltaire
>>46069154
OP is so original and smart.
>>46071488
Somewhat accurate, but it's important to note that
>Life expectancy was 25 years
was due to high infant mortality. If you got past five, you're probably fine until ~40-50.
>>46071323
No, Spinnerette.
>>46071435
I lived in Paris for two years. It's really interesting how immigrants from the Maghreb dominate the streets. The French are so un-manly (as a matter of principle) than they are easily cowed and pushed aside, and their women flock to the arab alpha males. Sometimes the males too. The Right worries a lot of about the "Great Replacement" of french natives by migrants but a lot of Parisians actually seem okay with it. It's a really interesting situation.
>>46071488
So what does the state of a single city more than a century ago has to do with the current state of things exactly? Or did you just want to state facts?
>>46069489
>Wasn't this posted, like, yesterday?
OP is very proud of his copypasta and posts it every chance he gets.
>>46071488
"Grenouille's mother was relatively handsome. She's still had some teeth left in her mouth and some hair on her head, no diseases except syphilis, gout and a slight case of tuberculosis, and expects to live for a long time - five or even ten years."
>>46071530
>I never went to Paris and my only knowledge of other countries come from /int/ and /pol/ meme
>>46071433
Oh i would like to deedlet her all night long.
>>46071555
Nope I lived in Villejuif and studied at Panthéon Sorbonne. And I'm not a fascist, I just watched this dynamic with fascination. The Parisians act like a scared minority, like they're in occupied territory. The one comparison I could think of was the white people's situation in the poorest, blackest neighborhoods of Detroit.
>french
>advanced
>>46071435
>lived in Paris
>llived in Paris 18, 19, 20th arrondissement.
>Paris
>France
did you just crosses the petite couronne and came at least in the countryside ? like 95% of the rest of my country, you turd ?
>>46069613
I dunno, Dwarves always make me think of Germans, stout people, about as wide as they are tall, drink copious amounts of beer, subsist on bread and meat, are often the wealthiest of their neighbours and have an excellent work ethic.
That said, Tolkien's orcs/goblins/uruks or whatever, certainly bear a resemblance to the Germans during the Great War. A horde of monsters who must be brought down by the final alliance of the civilized peoples, lest the world be destroyed.
>>46071397
>>46069154
I get it. And Half elves are French Canadian.
None of the good qualities, just all the bad ones, and nobody really likes them anyway.
>>46071575
>Villejuif
Not him, but that's probably because you lived in the banlieue. You might have noticed that there are very few kebabs in Paris proper, because it's one of the most gentrified places in the world. I have mixed feelings about it, on the one hand it breeds an air of elitism but on the other hand it keeps the subhuman scum out of the nice parts of the city (unless they're selling overpriced trinkets to dumb tourists).
>>46069489
>mmm, dat Minerva
Got to find a way to make Vanheist make porn of her.
>>46069154
I don't think that anyone other than the Americans, who were blessed with having absolutely zero contact with any of the european nations to begin with and could thus make up absolutely random shit about them, ever doubted that the French were crazy and bloodthirsty.
>>46071420
Pretty sure that's not /pol/ since they didn't say anything about dirty jews/nignogs dindu nuffin/trump4prez or any of that shit.
>>46071608
I think the same mostly applies to the inner city even though the arabs are less numerous there. That's what I found the most puzzling. Even when it's just a few young thugs they completely dominate the public space and act however the fuck they want. Sell drugs, hit on all the girls. And no one bats an eye.
>>46071281
>French = elves
Fine, fits well enough
>Germans = Orcs
I must protest. Germans are, as I've observed in my interactions with them, rigid, industrialistic and humorless/terrible at humor, as well as organized/fond of drink. Dwarves.
>Spain/Discount Spain = Mer-people
I guess? Only reasoning I can see for that is they have a coastline. If anything, their deep religiosity could maybe make them humans instead.
>Poles = Dwarves
I guess. Miserable, prone to drinking and xenophobic, so I figure it fits.
>Brits = Goblins
Non-empire Britain is probably some manner of Greenskins. Orks are based on british hooligans, after all, and speak like them. They're also fuck-ugly and mentally limited, so yeah, I figure it fits.
>Irish = Wood elves
Nah. They just wanna chill in their shire. Halflings.
>>46071519
No, I meant the place it has been previously seen on /tg/. I've fully read the comic itself.
Brazillians, the only and one Human race of fantasy.
>>46071594 here
>>46071608
I agréé completly. suburbs are just shitholes. It's like saying the Bronx is new York
>>46071488
So literally India
>>46071657
Before the 1850s Germans were portrayed as being too lazy, stuffed with sausages, and sloshed with beer to be anything but utterly incompetent at everything. It was not until Frederick's Prussia and Bismark's Germany that they earned the opposite reputation.
>>46071669
>It's like saying the Bronx is new York
It's like you're saying New York isn't as gentrified as Paris. I mean, a bunch of kids actually camped in Central Park during the height of the banking crisis and they had to call the cops to get rid of them.
>>46071683
Fair enough, I'm just going off of my interactions with germans, living like two countries over.So many german tourists each summer, in their fucking mobile homes. It's a ridiculous stereotype but it's true.
>>46071674
>So literally India
It's not like the Thamse's shores weren't covered in shit until the late 19th century.
>>46071700
We mainly get folks from the Netherlands in those here in Austria.
>>46071690
so what ? give me one western megalopole where there is no shitskins that are niggering here and there. slav countries do not count. your entité country is plagued by niggers and dogfuckers mexicanos. So please ...
>>46071742
Does Auckland have an Arab problem? I know South Auckland has a Pacific Islander problem.
>>46071380
Yet prior to the fall of Rome, Germans were considered dirty barbaric warlords who constantly threatened to overrun the empire with their unwashed hordes.
>>46071303
>>46069154
Are you implying french people live forever?! This is a disturbing find!
>>46071759
there is no megalopole without foreigners problem. even in russia, there is à lot of tajiks that causes problem
>>46070658
>Dirty
>Smelly
Hahahaha yeah right. We're definitely rude and arrogant though, but that's part of the culture, being the most pessimistic people on earth.
>>46071323
Now that I think about it, yeah.
>>46071332
Neveeeeeeer!!!
>>46071530
>>46071575
Uh, not that much. When you put it that way, it sound like like immigrant make up 9/10 of the population and are trying to invade the place.
>>46071608
Yeah, that's more akin to what I can see, although I may have to disagree with "subhuman". In 5 generations, they'll all be french.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za273I9mS9k
>>46071635
Someday, I'll have to figure why there is this unending hatred for these persons.
>>46071607
Definitely with you on that one.
>>46071807
But I take a shower everyday! And I'm rude because I'm an asshole, not because I'm uneducated.
>>46069535
Anyone got the Slavic Drow screen caps? That was fucking gold.
>>46071303
>>46071807
>the most pessimistic people on earth
Really, the French?
You invented joie de vivre, I call bullshit - look to Germany and Eastern Europe, or to Britain, they're a lot more pessimistic
Once, my DM wanted to play crusades but with magic and shit. All the countries had their version of all races.
Except France. France couldn't maintain a populace of elves.They went extinct cause none of their elvish men wanted to breed with women. Kinda like pandasBut they had the biggest half elf population of the world.
>>46071817
>In 5 generations, they'll all be french.
>Implying France has that time
At least they're not pulling Merkel-tier retardation, that's something.
>>46071838
>You invented joie de vivre
True dat, but the French also love to complain. Especially about themselves/their country.
>>46071820
Only got the short one, not the long one
>>46071252
Elderscrolls elves:
Altmer - ''We da tru people descended from God.''(think Zionist jews and Nazis fused into one) Most of them think the mortal world is a prison and want to destroy it.
Bosmer - Shapeshifting natives of Valenwood who had to form a pact with Jiffre to be turned into elves instead of being eldritch horrors. Now have to protect Valenwoods forests which are the remains of Jiffre, everything that dies in their forest (including their dead family members or other humanoids) they have to eat, can't use wood from the forest or eat veggies from the forest and thus import them or emigrate. Oh and they can turn back into monsters through a ritual used to defend them selves from invaders. Beast stealth archers.
Dunmer - Left to colonize Tamriel. Got cursed after their leaders betrayed a pact with Azura.
Orsimer - Tried to kill the ancestors of the Dunmer. Their ancestor god got eaten and shat out by a Daedra turning them into Shit-Elves.
Dwemer - Lying, cheating magitech bards the race. Poofed them selves out of existence.
Khajeet - have the same ancestors as the Bosmer but were turned into cat people instead.
Maromer - Think they are the best of all elves and higher than high-elves. Rightfully so since they are the baddest motherfuckers out there being swashbuckling waterbreathing magic pirates (current situation of them being alive or not is unclear).
Falmer - Fucked up a Nord settlement because they wanted the eye of Magnus. Got shitstomped by Nords in revenge, enslaved by Dwarves and turned into underground hillbillies munching on toxic mushrooms.
Chimer - Island elves living on the archipelago towards Akavir. Presumably just an independent group of Altmer who don't bother with anyone.
>>46071303
>>46071281
Actually:
French: Elves with a mix of Halflings and Humans added in.
Germans and Nordics: Orcs and Half orcs.
Spanish/Itallians/Portugese/Greek : Humans and Halflings
Brits: Dwarves and Half-Orcs
Slavs: Wood elves (western and southern slavs) and Drow (Eastern slavs)
>>46071875
Yea, it seem suprising, with our reputation for arogance, but complaining how nothing work in our country is our favorite pastime.
Also, french humor is often black humor.
I heard that the french"polar noir" genre is getting quite big.
>>46071470
It also doesn't help that the closest related Germanic languages to English are Frisian and Dutch, which already sound weird as fuck.
![e7lzd5g[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/VjtI3TM.png "e7lzd5g[1].png")
>>46071889
>think Zionist jews and Nazis fused into one
>>46069154
>And of course, both are in a state of decline and fighting a permanent war against a savage, subhuman race that wishes to douse the flame of their civilization.
Fuck you, this made me want to sympathize with Arabs.
>>46071889
>Poofed them selves out of existence.
they petty much pulled off what the Altmer only talk about though.
>>46071889
>underground hillbillies munching on toxic mushrooms
Understatement of the year, those fuckers got reverted into The Descent levels of savagery, so much that I almost feel bad for them.
Almost.
>>46071838
There was an interesting article in the Economist about that once, French is litteraly the only language that has more than 2 dozens words to say sadness more or less.
It is telling that the whole romantism artistic current is gloomy, self centered, depressed people complaining, and turning that into art.
>>46071933
>Yea, it seem suprising, with our reputation for arogance, but complaining how nothing work in our country is our favorite pastime.
Fuck your arrogant bullshit, complaining how nothing works in your country is literally the favorite pastime of every country.
t. Slav
>>46071332
no no shh bretons are celts always have been go away frank
>>46071982
La chair est triste, hélas ! et j’ai lu tous les livres.
Fuir ! là-bas fuir! Je sens que des oiseaux sont ivres
D’être parmi l’écume inconnue et les cieux !
Rien, ni les vieux jardins reflétés par les yeux
Ne retiendra ce coeur qui dans la mer se trempe
Ô nuits ! ni la clarté déserte de ma lampe
Sur le vide papier que la blancheur défend
Et ni la jeune femme allaitant son enfant.
Je partirai ! Steamer balançant ta mâture,
Lève l’ancre pour une exotique nature !
Un Ennui, désolé par les cruels espoirs,
Croit encore à l’adieu suprême des mouchoirs !
Et, peut-être, les mâts, invitant les orages,
Sont-ils de ceux qu’un vent penche sur les naufrages
Perdus, sans mâts, sans mâts, ni fertiles îlots …
Mais, ô mon coeur, entends le chant des matelots !
Stéphane Mallarmé, Vers et Prose, 1893
>>46071303
>>46069232
both are blissfully unaware that their enemies are actually pawns that are being manipulated by gnomes.
>>46071318
People in the Andes are also adapted towards high altitude. The general rule is that anywhere humans live for a couple thousands years the people living there will adapt to their environment, humanity is neat like that.
>>46072003
>is literally the favorite pastime of every country.
Yeah, pretty much.
t. Anglo
>>46071982
I seem to recall reading that French has no word for "shallow", but I think that's just for single words - "not deep" wouldn't count.
Still, interesting point.
Now I'm trying to think what things English has loads of words for - the only thing I can think of would be drunk, but that's because you can say literally anything in a certain way and it'll mean drunk
>>46071448
I'm from Finland, and that's completely wrong.
The average Finnish person is an ill-tempered depressed and possibly violent alcoholic who communicates mostly through scowling. We're basically Russians without being slavs.
>>46072053
>shallow
Superficiel.
>>46071657
You're forgetting that there are more ethnicities in the British Isles than British and Irish. You got yer Welshmen (Britons), your Scots (Gaels), your leftover Cumbrians (Britons), and your Anglo-Saxon fuckers and the fucking Manx, who are weird as fuck and don't really fit in with anything.
>>46072057
No, as in water, holes and things
>>46072075
haut-fonds but it's a rare word
>>46072055
The Sami on the other hand are probably the best examples of "snow elves". Finns were basically wood elves before Swedish conquest anyway.
>>46072064
Scots have a mixture, there's also picts and various interchanges with the various irish groups and scandinavian groups.
There's also danish and jute heritage about the place as well.
And the cornish, who iirc are different britons.
>>46072137
Yep, Britain is a lot more nuanced in ethnicity than people think.
>>46069607
Alliance existed 1536-1798.
>on-and-off
>>46071889
Chimer are what Dunmer were originally called. They started getting called Dunmer (dark elves) after Azura changed their skin to the colour of ash as a reminder of the Tribunal breaking their vow not to mess with the Heart of Lorkhan.
There's also the Sinismer (left-handed elves) of Yokudan, but nothing is really known of them aside from the fact that apparently their most notable trait was being left-handed and that they warred with the Redguards and got their asses kicked.
>>46072064
So let me get that straight
>English
>Drunk English
>Sheepshagging English
>Crossdressing English
>LITERALLY WHO English
>Might as well be English
>LITERALLY WHO PART 2: ELECTRIC WHOGALOO English
From the outside it's all England.
>>46072163
>it's all England.
Except for the bits that are Scotland, Wales, and Ireland.
![1337815587767[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/k2r2tL4.jpg "1337815587767[1].jpg")
>>46072176
>Implying Britain isn't a feudal extension of England
>>46072163
Cumbrians, the Celtic people who lived in Northern Britain, their language and culture went extinct in the 12th century but their ethnic makeup is still in the region. The Manx are people who live on the Isle of Mann, which is between Great Britain and Ireland and is relatively unimportant so nobody gives a shit about it, they have their own language that looks made up when written down.
>>46072210
Every language looks made up because they all are.
>>46072202
>England
>not a feudal extension of Scotland
James VI/I would like a word with you.
>>46072202
England ends in the north at Hadrian's Wall and in the west with that little inlet-y bit north of Cornwall that I forget the name of.
![7b3891e7dacce7f09ba37021b8ccacc6_480[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VZ8SfAc.jpg "7b3891e7dacce7f09ba37021b8ccacc6_480[2].jpg")
>France
I think this is relevant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHzG42u15k4
>>46071303
>>46071262
>There is no such thing as races in modern humans.
Hey there reddit
>>46072156
Ah the ones i mean are the Chimer that didn't stick with the tribunal whose subjects became Dunmer in Morrorwind and settled on the islands towards Akavir.
>>46071303
![1444282411992[2].gif](https://i.imgur.com/DbRcF13.gif "1444282411992[2].gif")
>>46072431
>One male slave and two female slaves
>That feel when you're so rich, you can afford sex slaves for your sex slaves
>>46071628
Yes, one of the prime warmongering nation of Europe, and kinda crazy at it.
When we are not building defensive structure everywhere ( castles, vauban, maginot), we like overwhelming charge. I mean, Azincourt charge, and Foch. Motherfucking Foch.
He is more 40k than 40k.
Is "My centre is giving way, my right is retreating, situation excellent, I am attacking." the word of a sane commander ?
He was made president of the superior council of war, Marshall on three différents country, Généralissime, and supreme commander of the allied force.
That don't sound very elfic.
>>46072707
Wasn't there a commanding officer during WW1 who said something along the lines of "we are surrounded from all parts, it's perfect since we won't have to worry about friendly fire".
40k is really just WW1 in space...
>>46069175
forty hons
>>46071281
If you think poles are dorfs Or slaves overall are dorfs than you have never been to aby slavic country. Wood elfs, we are savege, lukę to party and Get along lukę a House on fire
>>46069154
French are ugly, smelly, nasty, arrogant twats with a fucked up language. Norwegians are beautiful, smell like heaven, hygienic, arrogant twats with a less fucked up language. Norwegians and Swedes are the closest you get to elves, except swedes are the elves getting ass raped and cucked by the black orcs, and Norwegians are the ones deporting and jailing them.
>Norwegians are high elves
>Swedish are cuck elves
>Danish are the elf orc hybrids
>>46072707
They did develope the modern style of infantry cannon because old guns did not kill fast enough for their taste, yeah. And when they got light machine guns, they trained their dudes to run and gun with them ASAP.
>>46073220
>They did develope the modern style of infantry cannon because old guns did not kill fast enough for their taste
Literally "needs more dakka"
>>46070279
>Going by sounds alone, English and German sound quite dissimilar.
And there's many reasons for that, for example French influence on German, where they shifted /w/ to /v/, and /r/ to /ʁ/ (the 'Guttural R').
And also the High German consonant shift where 'th', a sound characteristic of early Germanic languages became /d/, and all the stop consonants changed their pronunciation.
>>46069154
>widely advanced
>french are retarded
>elves live in the woods
ok
>>46069154
Have elves fucked themselves over a million times, though?
>>46071598
I thought you said that Tolkien's orcs looked like the Germans, not the Russians?
>>46072707
Dang, them frogs are nuts
>>46072176
literally the entire rest of the world doesn't care. you're all one big group of snaggle toothed bastards with terrible food to us
>>46070658
Bait
>>46069154
OP, you either never met French in person before or are French yourself.
>>46069154
Funny. I posted something like this yesterday. It's reassuring that someone made the same connection.
>>46074289
OP just reposted some pasta.
>>46070658
Britain detected
>>46069175
I think Tolkien said something about how during WW2 they were all orcs.
>>46071889
Didn't Dwemer try to weaponize the Heart of Lorkhan and basically were absorbed into a big robot that was to be their god?
>>46069154
>French
>Tastes
>>46071185
Well the furry scale is pretty dang old. I recall seeing it posted on an angelfire site way back in high school. For some reason the dangerously cheesey edit got so popular that it's really hard to find the original ones.
>>46072474
Three females. You missed the halfling.
>implying drow ain't rapin' errybuddy
>>46071742
>>46071742
In slav countries we have ouerselves, its enough
Seriously, you dont know what adrenaline rush is if you never went through a dres and kibol ridden neoghbourhood (hooligans and chavs basically)
>>46069175
Say that tae ma face pal ill tan ur fukin heed in
>>46071303
VIVE L'EMPEREUR MORDRED! VIVE LA FÉRACHIE!
>>46071303
>>46071303
yes
>>46071303
>>46072152
mb sempai, I didn't remember exact dates and didn't want to overstate myself
I thought it started earlier, but that does sound broadly right.
>>46072891
US marine officer in Korea, I think.
>Britain
Wood elves
>French
High Elves>Spanish
Drow
>Germanics
Humans
>Slavs
Dwarves
>Arabs
Lizardfolk
>Niggers
Orcs
>Yellows
Bugmen
>>46069489
What is this from? Not the furry scale, but the image.
>>46069154
>Both are often depicted by others as prancing sissies who flee at the first sight of violence
Only by USA/Dwarves
>>46075398
Not elves. NOT ELVES
So what does this make us Burgerstanis?
>>46072097
I thought that was a specifically aquatic term? Shallow can mean a hole in the ground that isn't very deep, or a ditch that isn't very deep or literally ANY recession anywhere without a lot of physical depth. It's a very broad, general term.
>>46069154
And they're both permanently cucked by lesser races
>>46075784
fat
>>46074667
Sort of maybe not really but yes.
Kagrenac was fucking with the Heart of Lorkhan for REASONS (creating the (second?) Numidium among them) and, through some act or other, did what the Altmer have been snootily claiming (and adorably failing) to do for millenia.
Whoops.
>>46074465
>>46074257
>>46071807
Not from Britain, I'm from a Nordic country.
I'm sure an amicable Frenchman or woman exists. But as a rule, everyone but one person was horrendously rude, arrogant and every street and building smelled like shit and piss. Paris was the worst, but Cannes was equally terrible.. I've never before had to stay in a place as terrifying as some of the places I stayed in while in France. The stories I could tell about those hellholes I unwittingly entered.
>>46069154
I thought the frechfags were widely perceived as snob dicks, and that half of their cultural advancements were overrated and had too much publicity.Wouldn't that make them like reverse drows? (as in drows dominated by males?) It also makes sense considering the arab and black population and you can still have pretty gurls if that's your aim.
>>46075784
Ogres
Iop > Cra
>>46071807
>Most pessimistic people on Earth
>Anywhere but Russia
>>46076686
That's just what a Iophead would think too.
>>46076132
Storytime?
>>46075650
>>46072707
Chesty Puller at Chosin "We've been looking for the enemy for some time, now. We have finally found him. We are surrounded. This simplifies things."
Then later "Those poor bastards, they've got us right where we want them. We can fire in any direction now!"
Also, exchange between an easy company soldier and some random dude in Bastogne during the battle of the bulge, "Why aren't we evacuating the wounded?" "Haven't you heard? We're surrounded, those poor bastards." (In reference to the Germans)
After being reinforced, not a single soldier to this day has ever admitted to needing rescue.
>>46072707
He did show some sign of insight tough
>"This is not a peace. It is an armistice for twenty years"
And 20 years and 64 days later WW2 errupted
>>46075784
Mongrelfolk
>>46069154
>competent in the art of war
When? Fucking When?
>Muh Napoleon never defeated
Got his shit slapped twice by Wellington
>>46077314
Since people learned history you baka.
>>46077314
Wellington only won because the Prussians were ultimate badasses. Blucher for lyfe.
Learn yourself plebers.
>France long long ago
Fucks up everyones shit and don't take no shit
>France long ago
Lol surrender
>France then
Cocky shitters asshurt about english being the common language instead of french
>France now
Maximum kuk, bans thoughcrime, chokes on arab dicks
>France in the future
What's France?
What went wrong?
>>46076689
This. It's the country where best friends get drunk, then they get mad and stab each other, then they sit next to each other and drink together as they bleed out.
>>46077314
Charlemegne
>>46077433
>Cocky shitters asshurt about english being the common language instead of french
They are still mad about that.
In fact, just a few years ago, some diplomat wrote a mocking book about how the international english used is basically a travesty of the language and as a result of its use, pretty much nobody actually understands or learns how to speak a decent regular english.
![1400128088070[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/YEiY8Ko.jpg "1400128088070[1].jpg")
>>46077314
>>46077433
>>46077689
If I could shoop, I make a Wilhelm II version of this with "I AM ANGRY, ANGRY ABOUT THE FRENCH"
>>46075784
We are where all the half-bloods go, its where you can find Dwarf-Goblins or Man-Ogres or Elf-Beastmen.
The world dislikes how a bunch of mongrels obtained so much power yet they're too hateful of each other to do anything about it.
>>46077074
If thread is still up tomorrow. Gotta catch some shuteye
>>46077968
don't visit Paris and Marseille and you have less assholes people.
>>46076686
Xelor and Sacrier were the most fun to play imo.
>>46077922
If someone finds out what font this is, then I could.
Germans are orks. Consequently, orks are Germans.
I fucking hate Germans.
>>46077433
Here's the answer to why the french are so fucked up right now:
Ask any historian and they'll tell you that...up until recently...the French used to be Badasses. USED TO BE. Note: Past Tense.
They spent most of history being big, brave billy badasses charging around on big goddamned horses with big goddamned swords and fucking up everyones day; all the while yelling "Ha HAWN! We are Fraaanch, an we weeil Nevair Surrendairrrr!"
All of European history is an endless clash between the descendants of Charlemagne on one side of the Rhine and the spawn of sadomasochistic vikings on fly agaric on the other side.
Flash forward to the early 20th century. Now focus on World War I.
All those Huns were acting up again and it was time for The Fraaanch ("Ha HAWN!") to give then all a good -- how you say? -- a Thrashing.
So all the big, brave strapping french "Jocks" put on their helmets; and all the scrawny, asthmatic pencilnecked french "Nerds" Stayed Home and hid in their chateaux.
Soon, the Fraaanch ("Ha HAWN!") arrived at the Battle of The Somme; and they saw a battlefield filled with minefields, machine gun nests and mustard gas and did what they always did: Yell "Ha HAWN! We are Fraaanch, an we weeil Nevair Surrendairrrr!" and charged in like suicidal lemmings on angel dust...and got fucking massacred. And then they did it again. And Again. AND AGAIN!
Until the Big, Brave "Jock" allele was eradicated from the French genepool; and all that was left was the scrawny, asthmatic pencilnecked french "Nerds".
To put this into perspective Google Image search "Jean Paul Sartre"
Now take a good long hard look at this hideous douchebag.
This, ladies and gentleamericans...THIS WAS ALL THE FRENCH GIRLS COULD HAVE SEX WITH. THIS...THING...GOT LAID! THAT IS HOW BAD IT GOT.
So....NOW you know WHY The French are NOW a bunch of flaccid, half-gay snail-eating goobers without a single cojone between them.
Because all the butch manly men were all eradicated at the Somme.
>>46078522
He's not wrong. World War I affect heavily the Genepool in europe, and it didn't help that the spanish came right after. Hence the famous 'wasted generation'.
>>46078522
>So....NOW you know WHY The French are NOW a bunch of flaccid, half-gay snail-eating goobers without a single cojone between them.
http://europe.newsweek.com/france-leader-free-world-63361?rm=eu
Remember how only two years ago, the world was praising France for a succesful intervention while the Americans can't tell their left hand form their right in the Middle East? Cry harder.
>>46078664
I like how to qualify to hold the title of 'Leader of the Free World', all one has to do is drop bombs in terrorist training camps. That's what the US did for years and that's what the french did now and make an article claiming the title.
You'd think the leader of the free world you would need use your economic and military might to stop conflicts worldwide, create prosperity and stability in other countries so that trade worldwide prosper too, and you know. Generally have a good foreign policy.
But no. Bombs on training camps, that's where it's at.
>>46078664
>successful intervention
Much good that does when their own country has a critical infestation of The Cancer, and native french politicians make anti-free speech laws like they were already full caliphate.
If the the french need to intervene on something, it's France. Preferably with guillotines.
>>46078866
>Hammering on a hyperbolic title
>Completely missing the point, namely that the French pulled off what the Americans never mastered (a succesful intervention that doesn't lead to an even greater opposing force arising in the region and spiraling out of control)
>Completely failing to explain how this is possible if France's gene pool was purged of all manliness when America's wasn't
>But no. Bombs on training camps, that's where it's at.
That's pretty much the extent of America's modern warfare as well, except with less long-term success (remember that America to a lesser or greater degree created both Al-Qaeda and ISIS). Well, other than that mishap with those South-East Asian rice farmers and their outdated Soviet rifles. Then again, maybe the Vietnam War killed off every American that wasn't obese and so ignorant the theory of evolution is too hard for them to grasp.
Don't dish it out if you can't take it, bruh.
>>46078926
>If the the french need to intervene on something, it's France. Preferably with guillotines.
Meh, can't say you're wrong.
>>46075398
only the best elves
>>46069175
>Mfw some twat decided it was a good idea to connect us too France via a tunnel
>>46079122
But the free trade! The fast crossing of the channel!
France is a stable country full of honest people at the moment, what could possibly go wrong :^)
>>46071891
source?
>>46079410
I know right! On top of that we have an unlimited supply of doctors and engineers right on our doorstep! Perhaps those no borders chaps were right all along and David "stick the pig" Cameron is just a vile racist!
>>46079451
Nevermind I found it.
>>46071807
The most pessimistic country is Finland m8
Most alcoholic and autistic country in the world says the statistics
>>46071269
Germans are orcs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ztOV2wrrkY
>>46079706
Getting back to "fantasy races as real life countries", I think Finland would be the undead horde. We go about our daily lives shuffling around like zombies, consume magic potions to keep going, and whatever we touch gets infected with our memes.
>Finland touches Japan
>Japan infected with Moomins
>Finland touches imageboards
>imageboards infected with finnish memes
>>46071303
>all these elves
>not even a single Marcille
I will fix this
>>46080172
>>46075316
The thought of taking that picture and extrapolating what's past the hielf keeps me awake at night.
>>46069154
true but in total seriousness modern france is a joke as is all of europe
ever play labyrinth? that's what the modern europe is
>>46080172
>>46080229
>not posting best dungeon mesher
Absolutely disgusting.
>>46081558
Dorf isn't as cute and cuddly as Marcille.
>>46081605
>Dorf isn't as cute and cuddly as Marcille.
You don't know my fetishes.
>>46080359
There reaches a point where you either reach a full circle via curvature of the ears... or you achieve the necessary lift for self-sustained flight.
>>46071519
Ew.
>>46080359
>>46071273
>Flamers have degenerated into underground beasts
>>46069273
Arabs are more Hobgoblin than Drow.
>>46071303
>>46071759
>I know South Auckland has a Pacific Islander problem
Do pacific islanders have a violent and xenophobic culture that causes them to oppress and forcibly convert those around them? If not, I fail to see how they're comparable as a 'problem' to Arabs
>>46083493
Those fingers are kinda freakin' me the fuck out.
>>46085193
Good. Every aspect of an elf should be rejected by a human of good spirit.
Do you guys think that way we elves is similar way black people and arabs see whites?
Heavy resentment mixed with a heavy desire to fuck the shit out of?
>>46078494
Orks are more like Russians tbqh
>>46079122
>tfw old tories unironically expected the ghost of Napoleon to walk triumphantly on Trafalgar square the moment the chunnel opened.
You guys benefitted from it more than France. France only got the prestige out of it.
>>46082098
Have you seen twinks in bed
>>46069154
Bullshit, if the Elves are french, then what does that make the English? Dwarves?
>>46085554
No, that's the germans.
The english are more goblins or orcs, except more cash-minded.
>>46085554
No, Dwarves are Norwegian cave dwellers. The British Iles well portray typical non-barbarian yet feudal humans.
>>46071303
>>46069154
What is the United States of America of fantasy settings?
>>46086637
Humans. We may not understand what's going on, but we're getting involved anyways.
>>46078522
>Soon, the Fraaanch ("Ha HAWN!") arrived at the Battle of The Somme; and they saw a battlefield filled with minefields, machine gun nests and mustard gas and did what they always did: Yell "Ha HAWN! We are Fraaanch, an we weeil Nevair Surrendairrrr!" and charged in like suicidal lemmings on angel dust...and got fucking massacred.
I know this is hyperbole but the French actually did very well at the Somme. They captured most of their objectives with a favorable rate of attrition while committing relatively few troops.
Now the Vosges and Verdun on the other hand...
>>46088568
>Verdun
Literally the high command on both sides trying to see who would make the biggest pile of corpses.
