Greentext your adventure stories!
Get in here /tg/
>Have 6 spaces in Roll20 Game
>3 already taken by friends
>allow 3 from roll20 to apply.
>shit tons of bad requests (screenshots if interested) but managed to get M out of it.
>M is a straight minded player mostly and leader of the group, easily able to direct everyone
>Second he thinks tax returns are nearby he becomes reckless and destructive on his crusade against capitalism or something.
>almost got himself killed several times because of it.
>>46017194
Share screenshots.
>>46017386
this one was the best but i'm not sure if he really is jimprofitcommunist. I asked him and he never replied.
>Playing Mutants and masterminds in a one piece setting.
>Have a straggler board our ship in the grand land.
>Turns out he's been brainwashed and attempts to attack him.
>Our scientist is an anthropomorphic whale.
>Takes him to the lab, and basically gives him the clockwork orange treatment.
>Fails will save horribly.
>Mentally cracks turning into a ever smiling psychopath.
>Sends him out into the world again, broken,
>Meet him again later, Send him to the moon.
>Nothing ever happened.
>>46017477
>>46017512
I've also got some more ones from a guy I knew years ago, but it's more of a That Guy thread screenshot.
>>46017546
Go for it m8. Got plenty a tale to weave
>>46017611
Alright then, i'll tell it with all the details because you asked.
>Near enough first proper RPG
>Probably 4 years ago now
>16 year old going out to this guy (also current GM to this day)'s house to play the Void RPG
>The void was like sci fi call of cthulhu or cthulhutech or something
>I finally get to his house, spend ages looking for it
>Get to meet him, call him D
>really nice guy, small apartment
>D does a lot of work with publishers but small apartment
>RPG room is a small coffee table surrounded by recliners and chairs taken from everywhere
>I take foldable one, leaving bigger ones to be polite
>Other two players arrive, take frugal seats like me but still frugal
>4th player arrives
>Massive landwhale, breathing heavily
>Hey, I'm anon! as I got to shake his hand
>Barely notices me and awkwardly shakes my hand
>Takes big wooden recliner (probably had to)
>He will be called C from now on.
Pic is what he put up on the forum we met before he left for the game.
>>46017776
Sweet zombie fucking Jesus, that pic.
>>46017776
>Character creation
>Discussing traits as no one knows the game
>C asks 'Could I take autism as a positive trait D?'
>D says yeah sure.
>One of the other players remarked 'What would that give, +10 to fanfiction?'
>C Snaps his head up from the paper
>ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUTISM!
>Table goes quiet as we return to looking at the character sheets.
>Next session
>We're finally doing things
>We're exploring some ship dead in space.
>Except C
>C is creaking back and forth on this expensive recliner, making quite a lot of noise
>D says 'Can you stop that? It's quite an old chair etc etc'
>Yeah sure D
>Stops for 5 minutes
>Starts again
>D asks him again, very politely
>Oh my bad, sorry
>Starts again in 5 minutes
>Only stops when he falls asleep
>Snoring quite heavily
>So heavily we pause sentences to hear eachohter
>Knock him awake when something is happening
>Basic commands, like 'investigate bridge'
>Falls asleep again
>Don't bother to wake him again till the end
>Oh hey anon, my bus is so far from here, and I need some sleep, can you give me a lift?
>Oh sorry I live out in X
>That's perfect, I live towards there!
>>46017919
>Dad is waiting there to pick me up (16 at the time)
>He thinks it was a LAN party because I'm too embarrassed to say it's D&D
>Hey dad, can you give C a lift back to Y?
>Yeah sure
>Silent journey so dad puts on the radio
>After 10 seconds
>COULD YOU TURN THAT OFF PLEASE
>A-alright
>Rest of the journey is silent and painfully awkward.
>Finally gets out
>'Alright Anon, I'll talk to you on the forums! Better rolls next time!'
>Here's the kicker
>4th session or so
>New French foreign exchange student
>Solid 9/10 and pretty chill
>Character creation at the start for her
>Uuhhh, what traits can I take to increase charisma?
>C replies
>Well, you could always try sexual magnetism (an ingame trait)
>but I see you already have it
>Again, deadly silence
>She refuses to look him in the eye or talk to him for the rest of the game
>After that session we got a big message from the GM saying how C was kicked out for abusing his hospitality and making the game awkward
It's not a massively good story, but it's personally the most awkward I have possibly ever been.
>>46018053
Good shit anon. Much appreciated.
>>46018053
Somewhere, there is a robot waiting to post his greentext on /r9k/ about the time his D&D group cockblocked him from getting some qt French pussy.
>>46017118
>D&D 3.0 campaign
>major land war between forces of Good/Law and Chaos/Evil
>Good side is on the trail to retake the old capital city
>party are basically LRRP team for Good army
>doing recon in a heavily-forested area that's unmapped and unexplored
>stumble across a fucking Beholder hive that's the size of a large arcology and is at least a hundred levels deep
>Shadowdancer gets a bright idea to send his pet shadow down there so we don't have to go
>shadow in 3.0 is broken as fuck because anything it kills turns into uncontrolled shadows
>shadow proceeds to systematically kill all these Beholders, growing in numbers exponentially
>Shadowdancer has control only over the original, the rest are all feral and hungry
>shadow tide starts spilling into the forest, killing all the fauna as it goes and converting them to shadows
>party GTFO ASAP while the Cleric dumps every pro-magic spell and turn attempt he has to keep everyone alive
>Good army has to divert their entire campaign to this area to wipe out this shadow menace before it goes pandemic across the entire region
>Shadowdancer called to the carpet to explain this monumental Oops Moment to top brass, gets put on toilet duty for the duration of the time it takes to terminate all these shadows
>>46018053
Have you ever posted this before? I'm sure I've seen it
>enormous tactical blunder
>squishy caster moves into big melee, somebody splits off from the group as fast as possible and gets surrounded, somebody hangs out at less than 25% HP near intelligent foes, step into blindingly obvious trap
>"dude that's not fair"
my sides
>>46017919
>>C Snaps his head up from the paper
>>ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUTISM!
>>Table goes quiet as we return to looking at the character sheets
>>46017118
Here's a pretty huge blunder that really got away from my party
>just finished some bullshit boilerplate bandit hunting
>I decide that my power hungry character might like an inn
>decide (not my brightest moment) that the easiest way to obtain this inn is to give it a bad name
>decide to trick the inn patrons that all the other patrons are bandits
>being an inn of tough-as-nails adventurers, they attack
>huge ass commotion, guards show up and decide that since I'm a spellcaster and not hallucinating I must be the one responsible
>try to fuck with them too
>they ain't having it
>the party rogue decides that he'll help me out of this jam
>by leaving the inn and lighting an adjacent building on fire
>I'm a little freaked out at this point, but decide to try and convince the guards to tend to the fire
>they do so reluctantly
>the rogue then finds me trying to flee the village and tells me that he's going to poison the well so that we can minimize witnesses
>decide to try and convince some guards that are helping people evacuate that this all happened because we were chasing a powerful bandit who poisoned the watering hole and he started the inn brawl and set the building on fire as distractions
>he agrees
>we head to a nearby city posing as refugees
>mfw we'll have to explain this to the lawful neutral monk when he gets back next week
>>46017118
>find a group through a local vidya guild
>they play pathfinder. Ok cool
>meet That Girl
>100 kg 1,50 m, no neck, sausage fingered, pendulously chinned
>bona fide rippling, roiling landwhale with giant tits
>session starts
>door is locked
>DM literally locks us in saying it's for 'atmosphere'
>I'm in character as much as possible, trying to get the others in the spirit as well
>landwhale refuses to be in character
>barely capable of coherent speech
>she just mumbles about how I should've just bought a better table
>inserts exhibitionism and rape
>smokes at the table
>fails to even get neckbeards interested in her
>one of the creepy, greasy tits since I can't look at her hand and not have tits there
>landwhale plays a half naked gnome paladin of some homebrewed love goddess
>described him as "powerfully built, with big hand and hooves wink wink"
>I believe in absolutely bad actions, except for when I don't.
>first encounter: everyone is stoked, one landwhale player casually brags about knowing more about D&D than anyone there.
>DM takes exception to that
>bigass Mage of some kind, whatevs, we got this.
>mage throws out 8 stacked delayed-blast-fireballs in middle of party
>"make 8 reflex saves, DC 26"
>my saving throw is 9, so I have to roll 17 or higher 8 times. Make only one.
>TPK
>all four players start bitching and whining about how that is sexist
>DM "OK FINE"
>we relax
>DM offers a do-over then runs EXACTLY the same scenario with same results
>landwhale politely requests that he take her greasy little gnome chode and jam it up the physical ass of Mr. Fuck.
>mfw
>>46021860
I've seen it too, so I'm sure he's posted it.
>>46021860
I also recognized it, doesn't make it any less enjoyable for me though. Like holy shit what a guy.
>>46017118
That is some nice Culgan fan art. I didn't know Suikoden 2 was still popular.
>>46017776
>>46017919
>>46018053
wh
how do people like this exist
>>46022869
I don't understand, what went on? Did the GM nail you with 8 fireballs for her saying she knows more about DnD?
>Playing Curse of Strahd
>One of the members is a grouchy old guy who is constantly metagaming
>Except his metagame knowledge comes from all of the wrong places
>They have to hit up a church before leaving town.
>They find out that the priest's son is locked up in the basement begging for food
>Priest explains that his son died 20 years ago, and last year came back as a haunted visage of himself trying to suck his blood
>Party doesn't like that
>Metagame guy speaks up: "WELL WHATEVER, VAMPIRES ONLY GET PARALYZED WHEN WE STAKE THEM, SO LETS STAKE HIM!"
>Priest begs them not to, says he has it under control for over a year and it would break his heart to see his son get hurt even in undeath
>Party literally ties him up and puts a knife to his throat and force him to rely on this plan
>Guy with a custom vampire hunter background: "Is that bit about the stake true?"
>"Yes."
>"Cool."
>They get down there and start fighting with this thing to stake it, throwing shit tons of radiant damage and holy magic at it
>Roll a secret knowledge check for the hunter
>He fails. Miserably
>Doesn't recognize they're actually fighting a vampire spawn
>Vampire spawn don't get paralyzed when you stake them in the heart in their resting place
>They die.
>Hunter gets it down to 0, then stakes it in the heart
>Explain to him that he just now realized only too late as the vampire spawn turns to ash, and his failed knowledge roll
>Him: "...guys, we fucked up."
cont
>>46024252
>They start trying to quickly figure out how to salvage this mess as two very important NPCs are also outside and were disapproving of this in general
>Warlock chimes in "Why don't I disguise myself as the son?"
>Party: "Nah, that's stupid"
>Warlock: "I have mask of many faces. I can Disguise Self at will"
>Party: "Wait, that's brilliant"
>Priest is shocked and overcome with joy when he sees his son for the first time in 20 years alive and human.
>Brought to tears as he thanks his god for this miracle
>Meanwhile, the evil-aligned druid, in order to hide the body, stuck all of the ashes of the son into a bag.
>He didn't know what else to do with it
>Comes into the middle of this reunion
>"Hey, in this bag is some sacred ash that we used as part of our ritual. You should spread this around your house and home to facilitate good fortunes"
>Priest: "Oh, of course! Thank you so much! You have been a fantastic help!"
>Our entire table's face
>>46017118
>Come across badger den
>Gnome PC uses his SLA to chat with one of them, they complain about the goblins ahead
>Later get jumped by bandits. Capture one alive.
>Walk her back to badger den.
>Knock her unconscious and throw her atop the den as a sacrifice to the 'Badger Lords' they made up
>...
>Three years later, Badger Lord campaign is still in full swing.
>>46024252
>>46024281
This is so epic I literally can't even. That druid is truly evil. Someone should give him a medal or something.
>>46018053
>Well, you could always try sexual magnetism (an ingame trait)
>but I see you already have it
That's actually decently smooth. Not bad, C.
>>46028970
Its all in the delivery and wether or not its wanted.
>>46028970
remember, it's only creepy if you're ugly
>>46029223
If you're ugly, just make a joke out of it.
Even ugly dudes have a chance if they're funny.
>>46019995
>toilet duty
kek
>>46017512
Anyone who uses "lol" when writing actual sentences is a walking intellectual wasteland.
>>46019995
just toiled duty?
any real army would have hanged him
>>46029646
>for the duration of the time it takes to terminate all these shadows
This could well be a lifetime of shoveling shit. Still a bit lax, though.
>>46029674
he's lucky he's not a legionary, they probably would have crucified him for such a fuck-up
>>46028970
Not really. That's the sort of cheesy line you can only pull off if you either have the looks to support it, or have the charisma to nail the delivery.
Judging from what OP posted, C had neither the looks not the charisma to even come close to pulling a line like that off.
