>>45889697
Yeah,
He's called the DM.

>>45889697
Some betacuck pirates, from the Lily Liver. The PCs shout mean words at them every time they show.

>>45889697
steve. steve a bitch.

The PCs?
They regularly get grenade bouquets to the face.

>>45889697
Yeah, he always shows up whenever I play.

;_;

>>45889697
I used to get knifed every time I opened a door in this one campaign. It was actually quite tragic.
Every time it happened, it felt like it should have been safe to open the door.
Two of my party members went through before me, talked to someone on the other end, then a fight broke out.
During the surprise round, I happened to have just walked in through the door. Crit and Confirm. Dead.
Another time, I knocked on the door in an inn. The person I went to speak to was actually killed and our rogue didn't exist at the time; no perception checks worth a shit. I happened to pick the moment the killer was on their way out. Knife in the gut. Dead.
And another time, the lot of us were walking through a dungeon. A sturdy door with some slits by the knob. Everyone in the party went through first because we suspected it was a trap, even the rogue. Everyone else made it through without a problem. I opened the door and shut it behind me. The doorknob stabbed me and poisoned me. Strength damage and bleed damage floored me and no one in the party had a heal check worth a shit. I just slowly but surely withered away. Dead.

Eventually, the GM gave me a homebrew feat: Daggerfail. Any time a dagger would kill me, it just comically took me "out of the game" for a bit. That way I could keep the same character instead of rerolling continuously. My buddy kept playing the Wilhelm Scream whenever I got knifed on his iPod.

Having a Team Rocket in your campaign can be fun.

Assuming you aren't playing with murder hobo dipshits that kill at the drop of a dime.

Fuck players like that.

His name is Poog, and he's usually some kind of godlike being. We never really try to hurt him, but we always bully him and act very passive-aggressive with him.

>>45894190
That's rough, buddy

yeah. the GM engineered a trio to be easy to beat but really hard to actually kill. a high-level shadowdancer loaded with reusable artifacts leading a half-troll barbarian with armor that a, and a rotating cast of spellcasters seemingly knowing all the spells made for retreating.

A squire that always suffers pretty badly and usually ends up getting raped for comedy, sometimes even by player characters.

His name is Larry, Larry is a bitch

>>45898111
My first group had Library Larry. The party went out of their way to have the druid fuck his mother and trick him into walking in on it.
He was set to be the BBEG but the game didn't pan out.

>>45889697
Poor Joshua

>>45894323
That's some crazy ass campaign.

We are. The DM regularly beats the shit out of and maims us. I've never played games to have used nonlethal and permanent character damage as much, without ever actually killing us. Anytime we're close to dying, the enemy (even monsters) will switch to non lethal and knock us out instead. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't also steal all our shit so we can never really advance well.

Yeah, our characters look fucked up after not even that much time in game.

>>45889697

Sort of.

I do have an entity that got the ultimate power to alter reality with a mere wish....but the -worst- luck ever.
This is due him having an horrible karma going on due some pretty bad stuff it did (accidentally, but he couldn't really stop) in a very distant past.
And while immortal, he got a memory wipe that prevents him from using his powers fully, and pretty much he doesn't even manage to go around more than a few days in a row: his horrid karma usually gets him hit, punched, kicked around, eaten, thrown in other dimensions and back, and worse.
He ain't even a bad guy, but definitively he gets trounced every single time.

CPL. Griggs of the Coalition HAMMR unit (the magic vault ones) He came to be after an encounter in which a single Cyber Knight (my character, the only one in the campaign) killed his entire squad (several levels higher than myself) on patrol in the Chi Town outskirts during a series of crit fails on their part, and Crit successes on mine. Everyone died but him, who was knocked unconscious (my character assumed he was dead) and after the loot tables were rolled it was determined that they had a Stealth transport, which I stole.
They dishonourably discharged him for losing a 17 million credit, high end, stealth vehicle. And he spent the rest of his life trying to avenge himself by killing my character.
He also became the face of the Coalition's," How to not be a complete fuck-up" instructional videos. (Remember recruits, don't be a Griggs!)
And his entire family line serves in the Coalition military, they show up a lot, like the Carmine's in Gears of War

Its not the same thing, but i've got a trio of characters that shows up in a lot of my campaigns. They're all decent combatants and they're built to run through a few different things the players will face (In pathfinder, for instance, they are specialized by high AC, High damage, and attacks from range) but they're also not that hard to beat.Their purpose is to give me an idea of how the players will be approaching combat and work with that, so they're often the first fight in a campaign. However, they always run away, and provided they can, I make sure to bring them back later, only horribly mauled, killed, or worse.

Then the same people show up again time for the next game I run. Their lives consist of getting hurt so that I may potentially learn from their pain, then dying painfully to either help direct, inform, or just entertain the players.