ITT: We design an adventure one sentence at a time.
After a long night of drinking your party awakens to unfamiliar surroundings.
>>45807700
The ceiling of the room you are in is about 40 feet high and the stone walls of the roughly 100 foot square room are covered with massive spider webs.
>>45807768
That's when you hear the soft moan of a woman come from overhead.
>>45807768
>>45807800
The party is also completely naked, upside down, hanging from the ceiling, and cocooned from the neck down in thick and sturdy webbing, except for the area around their hips, which is exposed.
>>45807819
You witness your party being fucked and molested by spider limbs then primed for digestion with juices.
>>45807819
The moaning turns into a rough female voice as a giant spider descends into the room greeting the group through chittering fangs.
>>45807874
She greets the party with an "Ara ara, you look like such lovely prey~"
>>45807914
She then launches into a sassy interpretive dance number detailing the oppression of spiders.
>>45807966
"First one to sing along gets to stay on this plane of existence!" she demands shortly into her dance.
>>45808000
Which is a problem, as there is no lyrics.
>>45808014
The party now has to roll a relevant check to make up lyrics and perform them while upside down, naked, and cocooned.
>>45807914
apply headpats
>>45808051
The spider is unsatisfied regardless, and flings them through a planar portal to Demogorgon's lair.
>>45808145
Demogorgon bursts into another sassy number, detailing the defilement of their souls to come.
>>45808145
Demogorgon luckily isn't home at the moment as he is tearing ass through the underdark.
>>45808145
>>45808167
Fortunately, this is the female version of Demogorgon for Mystara.
"I am wondering why someone would web a man before throwing him out of a plane," Demogorgon's head, Aameul, sings along to the cocooned party.
>>45808175
>>45808167
The scene abruptly switches to a game of accountants and administrators, with the PCs as the players.
>>45808214
The accountants and administrators work at the Celestial Bureaucracy, and are reading about the demogorgon incident that happened two hours ago.
>>45808545
The party's boss comes in with three blue spirit familiars and asks why they haven't sealed the account with the twelve celestial dragon gods yet.
>>45808681
One of the spirits reveals he was Oramus the entire time by dancing a sombre latin number.
>>45809561
One member of the party's mom comes into the room and reminds them that after 12 it's not ok to make loud noises, dance around, and be too weird but normal roleplaying is fine.
>>45809616
Mum communicates this with a serious serve, daring them to retaliate against her sick moves.
>>45809726
The party retaliates against the mom and pin her down. They begin to grope her and one article of clothing comes off after another.
>>45809818
With a scream of ALLAHU ACKBAR, Mum explodes - she had secretly been dancing Caliphati dances this entire time!
>>45809909
Before she does though, DIO enters the room and shouts "ZA WARUDO!" freezing time and moving the rest of the party to safety.
>>45810035
DIO needs their help - only they can retrieve his lost tape deck.
>>45810035
The party then pins DIO to the ground and rip off all his clothes while getting naked, they all have erections.
>>45810085
>>45810090
A TSA agent approaches the naked DIO with latex gloves on, "now where is this tape deck?"
>>45810113
The TSA Agent is really Kane.
>>45810130
Kane proceeds to tear each of Dios limbs off screaming "TIGERS BODY BLOOD MIND CONFUCIUS "
>>45810170
The players must then battle the newly summoned Charlie Sheen for his coke stash.
>>45810281
the parties barbarian engages charlie sheen in mortal combat, tsa agent with 8 limbs attends the cocaine
>>45810281
They pin Charlie Sheen down, rip off his clothing and apply condoms onto their erections.
>>45810314
One of the players exclaims, "Why didn't anyone say we were playing a Mage: Ascension apocalypse campaign against the unnamed?"
>>45810318
Jesus comes to the party, and by come I mean flying from heaven he calls out "STOP!" as he gallantly slides holy shaft into charlie sheens lion den
>>45810314
>>45810318
>>45810356
>>45810368
Suddenly, a bus full of well-armed cyborg nuns crashes through the wall, screaming "CHARLIE, JESUS, YOU ASSHOLES HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"
>>45810425
The party then pins the nuns, jesus and charlie to the ground, they are still naked.
>>45810455
The nuns use their cyber-cigar cutter dance to permenently and irreversibly castrate the party, preventing any possible regeneration or substitution.
>>45810576
The Kraken rises from the depths and whips out his seven tentacle dicks while pinning the party to the ground.
The party has to make an escape artist check
>>45810593
Dance, obliteration, blah blah.
>>45810604
The party now stands a top of the corpses of nuns, charlie, DIO, Kane, and a Kraken. They decide to make the Kraken into calamari and open up a restaurant
>>45810644
The all monk campaign occurs as normal from here on in.
>>45810688
The party wants to achieve normality, so they take their castrated dicks and turn them inside out creating manginas, effectively turning themselves into women.
>>45810850
the saddened and emasculated party cry out towards the heavens, "why must we enter your magical realm!?"
>>45807914
I get that spidergirls are pure fetish bait, but there is no reason for a creature like this to exist from a biological standpoint...
>>45807860
4 posts is par.
>>45810952
An evil elf goddess did it.
>>45810952
So flying dragons from a biological stand point make sense? Or a phoenix? Or a griffon?
>>45811038
Elves can't be evil.
>>45811071
They make more sense than a mammal (human) torso with the an abdomen of a spider. If nothing else, there would be no reason for tits...
>>45811082
Elves are at the very least xenophobic isolationists. That makes you evil for at least half the voters in my country.
>inb4 USA
>>45811103
So a griffon having a tiger/lion pussy or penis with hawk titties makes more sense?
>>45811082
Only in the Tolkien-verse.
>>45811122
They're still both mammals. It might seem off biologically, but we would not question it if we weren't already familiar with feline and avian anatomy.
>>45811163
Birds aren't mammals, but I see your point.
>>45811163
Hawks aren't mammals you piece of shit.
>>45811201
You're a mammal
>>45811294
And you're a fucking jew. What's your point?
>>45811201
They do have a pretty sweet cloaca though.
