If fantasy races existed here in this real world of ours, which one would be the most bro-tier?
Which one would be the least bro-tier?
>>45387426
The myrmidons are loyal to a fault.
>>45387426
You mean "If GENERIC fantasy races existed here in this real world of ours".
Because "fantasy races" covers anything you can conjure up with your imagination, and not just the usual hurr-durr-orc-elf-dwarf shit that we get shat into our cereal bowls by autistic games devs.
>>45387426
I believe you mean "fantasy species", and none would be bro-tier because "bro" is an individual personality trait. If we take culture into account then most likely none of them would be, because they're based on some conception of early/middle medieval times, and people were dozens of times more prone to killing one another outside of the battlefield back then.
>>45387426
Least bro-tier would obviously be elves, the only good knife-ear is a dead knife-ear.
>>45387482 >>45387493
Shut up, Myrmidon.
>>45387453
Are you Achilles?
>>45387504
>butthurt
>"sh-shut up ;_;"
Platinum mad.
>>45387426
Kobolds, if you can get excepted into their society. They are rather xenophobic.tfw no kobold gf
Dwarves obviously
>>45387534
Accepted*
>>45387514
Some call me the space cowboy.
Dorfs no contest, always down to get drunk off their ass with you while destroying a rack of rips.
Will never puss out on you in a fight.
And will show you badass ways to wear your beard.
Only downside is they'd probably be pretty cheap unless you get real tight with em.
Dwarves would be pretty bro, Orcs bery much the opposite of bros.
>>45387558
Thanks, stupid auto correct.
>>45387582
>can't fight for shit due to being manlets
>will taunt you for your inability to grow a proper beard
>always shows up late and drunk
>never brings their own food or snacks
Dwarves are assholes.
Genies, obviously.
>>45387616
>sounds like you're an unfit faggot who can't grow a beard
>is a an obsessive control freak
>and is himself a cheap piece of shit
hey guys i found the elf
>>45387576
Do they call you the gangster of love?
>>45387534
So Kobolds are essentially the Japanese?
Some people call me Maurice.
>>45387616
>>can't fight for shit due to being manlets
Actually they'd be a pain in the ass to fight. They're short, strong and stout, that gives them a low center of gravity and they're hard to shift anyway.
Assuming they'd be decked out in the usual top-tier dwarven armour, you'll have a hard time hurting them through it with anything short of a musket. Which means having to resort to grappling, wrestling, other in-fighting techniques, which are all harder to use against someone who is incredibly hard to budge and can wrestle right back better than you can.
>>will taunt you for your inability to grow a proper beard
That's a fault with you, baby chin.
>>always shows up late and drunk
>>never brings their own food or snacks
Those are both bullshit. Dwarves take honour and debts very seriously. If they say they're going to be somewhere at a given time, they'll do their best to be there. If the convention is to bring food when you're a guest, they'll do so because it would be shameful to show up empty-handed.
So in conclusion, just another elf fan who doesn't know shit about bro-tier Dwarves.
>>45387426
Dwarves for broliest. They'd love the hell out of the new and exciting heavy industries.
Halflings and Gnomes for worst, only because they'd collectively hate us after pedophiles find them.
>>45387824
I give thee a kek
>>45387798
>They're short, strong and stout, that gives them a low center of gravity and they're hard to shift anyway
Look, I'm not going to be afraid of some midget with half a meter's reach, no matter how stout he is. I'm not going to wrestle him, I'm going to hit him, kick him, and beat him with chairs.
>>45387701
Turned me over on my back, gold, opened up my butt cheeks and started licking out my asshole. That's why they call me the gangster of love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-GDzhYFZak
>>45387955
>Ghetto Boys
shamefur_dispray.gif
>>45387900
Punching down is more difficult, faggot. Dwarves would kick your ass.
>>45388061
>being short is an advantage in a fight
Okay.
>>45387779
>Numerous
>shit technology
>worship anyone bigger than them
>fight with dirty tricks, tunnels and traps
No, they are vietnamese.
>>45387955
>based Steve Miller Band sampled into a shitty rap song
>>45387426
Top tier is halflings, bottom tier is elves
just my 2 cents
Dwarves are the obvious apex of standard fantasy bros, Halflings would probably be up there too if they didn't insist on segregating themselves from the rest of society.
I think elves would be pretty decent bros, their girls would be huge cunts tho
Humans hands down. Bro-power will be our drill to pierce the heavens.
I think we're all asking the wrong question... it's not who would be the bro-est... but who would be what kind of bro? Dwarves would have your back in a fight, as has been previously established... but halflings would be all for giving you a place to stay if you needed it and sharing tea and biscuits. Both are true bros, but you don't expect one bro to perform both bro-ly actions.
I imagine Dwarves are the bro you occasionally might have the knock the fuck out of while he's drunk but it otherwise 10/10so you might have to constancly knock the fuck out of brodwarf
>Greatest ally tier
Dwarves
>Happy Coexistence tier
Gnomes. Halflings
>We don't talk but I respect you Tier
Orcs, Drow Elves
>Non-Aggression Pact Tier
Kobolds, Goblins
>I don't like you, you don't like me, keep out of my way tier
Trolls, Centaurs.
>Fuck you and the horse you rode on tier
Elves
Probably halflings
Elves:
Members of PETA, supermodels, television stars and probably anti-vaxxers as well. Embedded into the far-left. The far-far left. In Europe they're probably holding up, "Orcs Welcome" signs. Frequents /an/ and /cgl/.
Dwarves:
Blue collar workers and bikers in somewhat equal measure. They're fixing your plumbing and operating your factories, and are in an economic depression as a result of current economic trends. Also gigantic assholes. Frequents /o/.
Hobbits:
Quiet, humble people that also happen to be soccer-moms and the religious right. Great with food, but extremely conservative and more than a little isolationist and xenophobic. They pressure people to do what they want through, "concerned parent groups". Frequents AOL.
Orcs:
You can't really tell them apart from Turks save by the greenish tint to their skin. Frequents /int/.
Kobolds:
Xenophobic assholes with no love for their own children. All the negative traits of asian families with none of the positives, like actually pushing your kids to succeed. Frequents /jp/.
Goblins:
Agnostic, socially liberal, breed like rabbits. Heavily involved in the tech sector and military. Have massive gang problems among the lower class. Frequents /g/.
Gnomes:
Very liberal, very involved in the tech sector and hipster movements. Make a lot of custom tech, but the shit never works for long. Fond of lifehacks. Frequents Reddit.
Drow:
Highly religious, conservative, and xenophobic. Loves money. Would probably vote for Donald Trump and pretend he's not a guy. Frequents /pol/.
Wood Elves:
Take over wildnerness refuges and like to get lost innawoods. Frequents /k/ and /out/.
Gully Dwarves:
Loved by none. Frequents /r9k/.
Trolls:
Frequents /b/ and frats.
Wizards:
Around 30 years old. Frequents /tg/.
>>45387426
Like >>45387493 pointed out, being a bro is an individual thing, not inherent to one species/culture, but if we were to generalize, I'd say:
>Top bro tier
-Almost all Halflings. Who doesn't enjoy good food, good drinks, parties and comfy living?
-Most Dwarves. They will a tough exterior before befriending them
-Most Fairies. I don't know, I just can't imagine a fairy being an asshole, maybe a little bit annoying but not as much as other small/tiny species
>Mid bro tier
-Almost all Orcs. Let's be honest, most fantasy settings put them as "Humans but X", they'd be too much similar too us.
-Most mixed species person. They're constantly torn between two worlds, they may have some insecurities when socializing in our world.
-Most Wood/Low Elves. They've had more contact with humans and human cultures before, so they can easily connect with us.
>Annoying bro tier/ "That guy" tier
-Almost all Dark/Grey Elves. The guy you like but sometimes freaks you out, growing up and living mostly in dark caves and tunnels make them paranoid of the outside world, even more our own.
-Most Gnomes. That guy that you like but clinges too much and won't understand when his pranks/jokes aren't funny.
-Most Goblins. That guy that you like but suspect he stole something at your last house party.
-Most Kobolds That guy that you like, but wouldn't really rely on him for taking care for your pet/kid while your gone.
-Almost all small and tiny species in general would have some kind of knack that makes their precence not unwelcomed but tiresome, they live their lives mostly as cannon fodder and many have some sort of inferiority complex, other simply are too playful, too stupid or lack certain manners.
>Shit bro tier
-Almost all High/Light Elves, greatly xenophobic with a superiority complex, they might like you but despise most of your other friends
-Almost all "monstrous" races. Let's face it, we'll be the xenophobic ones and they'll hate us for it
>Live next to an elf family
>One of them comes over at least once a day to yell and complain about something stupid
>today one of them was over yelling about how my patio furniture was reflecting sunlight into their windows, ruining their artistic layout of their meditation room, whatever that is.
>another was across the street yelling at the kobold family about how their cars paint color is against the homeowner association's accepted color policy
>We don't even have a homeowners association
>routinely go around the neighborhood in December to report people for Christmas displays they find too loud or offensive
>have egged and tp'ed their house every halloween since we moved here a decade ago.
>>45387426
Halflings and half elves.
>>45387426
>that xbox huge style half orc and dwarf
fucking cancer
>>45391657
So they're funny if they're nerdy?
>>45387426
Welder here. I'd enjoy the banter between Orks and dwarves on the portable shit house walls
>>45390879
>-Almost all "monstrous" races. Let's face it, we'll be the xenophobic ones and they'll hate us for it
Shit I'd do my best to get a lizard friend.
>>45387824
>not reading Alfie
for what purpose
>>45387426
>Primum Brobile
Halflings. Tons of food, have tea, tobacco and like 18th century technology while everybody else is medieval, welcoming, nice, their idea of excitement is fireworks AND beer, abundance of shortstacks. No flaws unless you're an annoying deviant covered in piercings or some other edgy shit.
>Broseidon
Elves. Look at Rivendell, top comfy and highly artistic as well, good enough to make a hobbit want to move. They only lose points because the senseless hatred they get from plebby uggo humans probably makes them a bit standoffish before they realize you don't share the inferiority complex.
>Strong Brotential
Dwarves. The grumping and the fact you can't leave them alone around money if you want to keep it / not murder your dwarf buddy are strong negatives, but they're hardy and basically good dudes, probably top loyal.
>Come At Me Bro
Everybody else, except:
>Broken On The Wheel
Kender.
>>45387426
It's a good thing we have a universal agreement on which "fantasy races" are included in the term and what their cultures are like. Otherwise that question would be unanswerable!
>>45387616
>buuthurt elf detected
Don't you have trees to hug or something?
>>45387426
Well, Hobbits already exist...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RalR-yo9XQ&app=desktop
>>45394759
Don't you have tables to walk under?
>>45387426
humans would be the brosiest, elves the snootiest, everything else would be niggers.
You would have bro tier induviduals for sure, but not everyone is a bro. That is real life.
>>45394963
>not everyone is a bro
>>45394873
Nah I'm still digging out the workshops.
>>45394776
n...not sure if want
>>45387426
>Using the 3.5 player handbook race sheets.
>my nigga
>>45388083
Speaking as a hand to hand combat instructor: being short and wide in a fight is almost always advantageous. A better center of gravity and more difficult target largely offset the weaknesses.
When both combatants are using long blades or other reach based weapons height gives an obvious edge; however, a fighter who recognizes his own skills and limitations would understand this fault and use weapons that compliment a closer and prolonged assualt. For a typical fantasy dwarf in realistic combat, ideal armaments would be thick deflecting armor and either a short fast blade like a standard combat knife, or a catching weapon like a hooked blade or hand scythe.
Watching trained knife fighters you'll typically observe them staying low to the ground and attempting to get as close as possible for the maximum amount of time to insure full damage. I believe this is how a fantasy dwarf in true combat would fight as well to best fit their strengths.
Tl;dr you're an over confident elf lover who thinks that make believe fantasy fights are entirely realistic and that comically tall katana weilding shamerai with ninja techniques are the best combatants around.
>the first thing we do, let's kill all the halflings.
Fuck, they're like cockroaches. You hear about them on the news or the radio, or whatever, and that's cool, but the moment they show up on your block, everything goes to shit.
Literally, they are like cockroaches. They don't so much move in as they infest the place, They breed in job lots, and the next thing you know all your neighbors are moving out of the neighborhood and it's become another slum.
They're not like us. They'll be like us. Hell, they probably don't feel pain the same way we do.
Same thing with the gnomes. Can't stand a beady-eyed midget cricket.
Half orcs are great. Can't get enough of 'em. They're excellent working construction jobs, even better in the military. They're the backbone that holds up this fair nation. Just don't let them in your home long enough to catch a ballgame or a cold one. Them beastly fuckers'll toss your sofa through the wall you get them worked up.
Dwarves.... Who's seen a dwarf and lived to tell about it? Okay, yeah, that was wrong okay, but seriously. They're creepy.
Half-elves can integrate, that's never been a problem. Hell, I voted for that fucking fop in the senate, right? Damn right. But elves? Man, those faggot fucking douchebags can nonce off back to the forestry service or go be park rangers and EPA activists and PETA animal fondlers.
That's assuming that they're not fucking brain-burned. Hell, half of them still fucking think it's Woodstock what with flower child names like Peace Cloversky whatever the fuck.
>>45392013
Look at how styling that elf is. Those boots and tassels.
>>45390879
>I just can't imagine a fairy being an asshole
Oh, the naivete...
Half elves would be the best probably. They get along well with humans
Elves and half orks would be the worst, elves don't like humans and half orks are often violent and moody
