Eight words or less that would get you kicked out of your group.
>Dare you enter my magical realm?
Dare you enter my magical realm?
I put the sacred artifact in my ass.
"Maybe we shouldn't touch that?"
>>45358036
Damnit
all you niggas gay
>>45358010
I want to cast Charm Person on a party member
I don't trust (DMPC). They must die.
>Anyone want some shit brownies? They're fresh.
Loli.
>I don't fucking care who the pope is
My character is like Hatsune Miku but younger
I sit in the corner away from everyone else
Fuck furfags.
>>45358010
>To the DM"Dude your girlfriend fucking sucks, like, god damn." while his girlfriend is playing with us
I like Daniel Craig as James Bond
>I roll a sneak attack on the shopkeeper
>>45358010
OOC: Merkel was right.
IC: I know Fleshcraft.
>While we're waiting, what's your position on pvp?
>>45358155
Don't even joke about that shit.although Casino Royale was decent
Can I play a Kender?
I roll to seduce (BBEG).
>>45358183
Right about enforcing German hegemony in the eurozone or right about opening the borders to refugees?
Can I have a monster girl companion?
I want to play as this anime character
I don't want to play as a dwarf
>when asked what their character does when confronted with an obvious RP hook
"I dunno."
I roll to grapple the female elf
Can we please play a non-evil run soon?
>>45358010
This magical realm is boring, let's try vore
I kick you all out of the group
>>45358285
>mfw this happened in a new group my friend roped me into
never play with minors
>>45358010
"I roll for unarmed called shot: genitals"
>>45358332
The opposite question would do it for my group.
>Anime is bad and fuckboy isn't a word.
>>45358351
>>45358010
I roll to seduce.
>>45358010
I was browsing /tg/ and saw this meme...
Roleplay for once in your fucking life.
No, you wouldn't do that. You metagaming fuck.
>>45358010
>I'm still friends with the previous GM
>>45358010
I roll to grapple.
>>45358412
Fuck my ass.
There was a kid at my Games Workshop and whilst playing he wouldn't shut up Angry Marines and Flashgitz animations.
I wanted to die.
>>45358486
You do realize that a like 80% of /tg/'s population, right?
You have 1d4chan to thank for that
>>45358010
Let's play FATAL next! I'll be the DM.
>>45358010
fuck you shitty game you fat neckbearded cuntwaffles
tfw I'm permaDM
Why are you fags using coasters?
I skin the troll scrotum for a backpack.
>>45358529
OP said kicked out of the group, not murdered.
>>45358047
>>45358353
>never play with minors
Minors can be okay to play with, usually requires most of the rest of the group being of age though. So 1 minor, 3 adults + GM. Finish campaign, swap kid out, rinse and repeat. Voila, non-shit players without "old school" conceits.
>>45358010
>Eight words or less that would get you kicked out of your group.
"Guys, maybe we should use an X-Card?"
>>45358652
I mean, I USUALLY share that opinion on minors, but I don't get why the DM invited a FIFTEEN year old from his guild to our party, not to mention he's left during games saying he had a >headache.
>>45358010
>Can I have a Harrow deck?
>>45358010
Did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise?
*X*, I fucked your ex
>>45358010
>My PG doesn't care about the group
>>45358677
>from his guild
>guild
Fucking dropped.
I fucked your wife.I did
"I think this is a great game."
>>45358010
"I fucked your mom."
My GM's mother is dead.
>>45358652
wtf is an X-Card?
Guys I'm neutral evil
>>45358937
It's literally "[thing] offends me, immediately cease bringing up [thing]" that everyone is meant to go along with without question.
I'm sorry I can't be here a next week.
"I'll counter that card, too."
"Take an extra turn after this one."
Or,
"Storm for an absurdly large number"
>Did you see [that] thread on /tg/?
"Female dragonborn should have breasts".
I summon infinity infinity/infinity hydras with haste.
>>45358010
>My gnoll warrior pulls out her dick murr :3
>>45358937
Yes, what >>45358985 said. Where it gets (even more) retarded though is that the rule precludes anyone from even asking about *what* offended the person tapping/lifting the card. So you have situations where someone taps it in the middle of a scene, and everyone has to scramble to read their mind because one of the core rules is to NEVER ask.
http://archive.is/3lD4d
>>45359180
"I like dragonborn" is enough for my group. We don't play with scalefags
>>45358010
Your puzzles are dumb and contrived DM.
>>45358010
>can I roll for seduction?
>>45359248
But furfags are alright?
>>45358155
And your point? He did a pretty good job playing the James Bond they were trying to use.
>>45359347
Didn't he literally say he would rather harm himself than do another Bond role after the last movie?
>>45359293
Of course not, fag
>>45358237
German hegemony fine, economic migrants not so fine.
>>45358472
This sounds like a story. Care to share?
>>45359396
Thinking that all who migrate to Europe are doing so for economical reasons is just about as dumb as thinking that none of them are.
>>45359489
True, some are coming just to kill the unbelievers.
>>45359377
Considering the material he has to work with, it's an understandable feeling.
>>45358010
jet fuel can't melt steel beams
>>45358010
>tfw Hispanic
>tfw could say literally anything and they won't kick me out, because they are white and cuckolded
I've already expressed support for Trump on multiple occasions. Short of showing up with nazi gear, I don't think I could do a single fucking thing.
>>45359489
A worrying percentage are turning out to be sexual migrants.
>>45359598
They probably just think you're retarded and feel sorry for you.
>>45358010
>>45358010
Nothing short of insulting the kids and wife of one of my friends could get someone kick from the group. All other jokes and insults are fair game even with temperaments running a little high.
>>45358836
I'd throw you because that shit ain't finished, so not only is it a piece of /pol/ garbage, it can't even be bothered to make it work somewhat.
>>45359598
show up in ISIS gear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH9fiyCmiXI
>>45359740
Saying that kind of thing about that kind of subject would get anyone kicked out of any group.
"Is she old enough to ovulate or not?"
>>45359631
If his friends are liberals, they probably think that about all minorities.
>>45359740
>posting shitdoka
I'd kick you out too
I'm pretty much my group's lifeblood.....
>>45359489
>Le ebin fence sitter faec
![1436763977464[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OEAmNuw.jpg "1436763977464[1].jpg")
>>45359489
>Thinking that all who migrate to Europe are doing so for economical reasons is just about as dumb as thinking that none of them are.
Those moving out of Syria* for non-economical reasons have no reason to go any further than Turkey, or even Cyprus (which is an EU country right across Syria, but somehow entirely ignored by Syrian refugees), or even other relatively save Arab countries like Jordan or Saudi-Arabia. No non-economic migrant from Syria* has any reason to cross the Hellespont.
*Did you know that a majority of so-called refugees aren't even Syrian?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/European_migrant_crisis#Statistics
Only about a quarter of them are actually Syrian.
Get rekt tumblr.
>>45358155
Casino Royale was good and Skyfall is one of the best Bond movies. Frankly, you can take your shit opinion and go die.
>>45360152
>Only about a quarter of them are actually Syrian.
There's also the part that the nationality is predominantly self-reported and frequently falsified.
>>45359598
Actually, they probably all secretly support Trump themselves, but don't want to be outed to their (allegedly) liberal friends.
>>45358010
I want to play a SURGE mutant next.
>Can you guys kick me outta the group?
I'm tired of playing all catgirl parties
>Suck my dick, I'll give you magic items.
> Oh, DM-kun you are so kawaii-desunyan.
Hilliary Clinton will be a great President
>>45358010
>"Roll to resist rape."
>>45358047
Those pennies have been in my ass.
>>45359227
Jesus Christ. Do these people know that "triggers" are exclusive to PTSD victims and people with actual autism? Putting yourself on their level just because a subject makes you uncomfortable is just WEAK. Holy fucking shit suck it up.
Anyone wanna help me track down this John Stavropoulos guy, circle around him and shout "buckaroo" repeatedly?
>>45358010
This is just like WoW
>>45361144
If you want to see a spectacular murder consisting of a person having their esophagus, stomach, lower intestine, and large intestine dragged out of their body through their mouth by the combined efforts of some marginally creative people,
>"All your dice have been up my ass"
>>45358010
"Bernie Sanders has no grasp on economics."
>>45359697
I'm in nearly the same boat, but one trio of chucklefucks in particular will start getting all meta and fighting in-game when they disagree on shit in real life. I've never hosted when it happened but if I were, I'd have them arrested. Chucklefucks.
>>45358383
Agree with the first sentiment - I like anime well enough - but come on, fuckboy isn't really a word.
>>45358010
I don't think such a sentence exists for my group.
>>45359180
But as far as the one piece of artwork in 4th ed goes, they do.
I'm tired of this argument. If people want to throw breasts on their lizard people, that's totally fine by me. If they want to be flat-chested, well okay - it's not like human females can't ever be flat-chested even once they're fully grown. Just don't act like it somehow makes you purer to take the tits off.
>>45361471
Exactly, everyone knows it's spelled 'fuccboi,'
>>45358010
I cast Storm of Vengeance
>>45358010
>online game
"But I always play from the tub"
>>45361274
>I ate all your dice and then shat them out.
Shat? Shitted? Whatever, they might kill me for bad grammar too.
>>45358818
GM's or another player's?
>>45358010
Finally got a job. Can't make it anymore.
I rape
>>45358010
"I web him to me"
>>45361224
>Jesus Christ. Do these people know that "triggers" are exclusive to PTSD victims and people with actual autism? Putting yourself on their level just because a subject makes you uncomfortable is just WEAK. Holy fucking shit suck it up.
I have a couple soldier buddies. They're SO. FUCKING. MAD. each time this bullshit comes up, and I don't fault them.
Could we play instead of talking about feelings?never join an all-girl group, you'll regret it
>>45361939
My group is all women and I don't regret it.
>>45361939
>>45361956
I need to hear both of these stories.
>>45361939
I'd imagine it's not so bad, 3 out of 4 weeks anyway.
>>45358010
I'm not paying for snacks.
>>45361980
It's not much a story, I'm just the only guy in my group. It's not a bad group or a bad experience, just different. Only time it's ever a problem, which is not often and if you could even call it a problem, is they usually turn to me to settle disputes or pick sides being the "odd man out".
Their choice of games leaves much to be desired, but overall I have no problems with it. Better than plenty of groups I've played with and much better than no group.
"I'll try spinning, that's a neat trick"
If I played with anyone but my mates, I'm 100% certain they'd hate me
>>45358010
>No I don't want to be a Lesbian.
I was ill-prepared for the group I was in.
>Not my asshole, I'll cut you
ERP was ill-prepared my first time.
>>45358010
> I knocker her/him out, then I rape her/him.
>>45362090
>I'll cut you
A proper response when someone's shooting for your pooper.
>>45361980
They bitch and moan when they roll nat 1's despite rolling multiple crit successes on the previous turn, cry and storm out when another one makes a passive aggressive comment, demand that I work more character growth opportunities into the story despite the fact that the characters have only known each other for five in-game days, and get upset when they encounter enemies that have resistances or immunities to their favored methods of attack.
I regret agreeing to dm for them.
>>45358010
Act out your sex move.
>>45358010
Any word at all.
Literally nothing could be said to get me kicked from my group.
We take psychopathic murderhobo to the next level.
>>45358010
I'm just here to suck John's dick.
>>45358209
fuck, was just gonna post that
>>45362115
>bitch when rolling nat 1s
Make it so that it's just a guaranteed miss, not a critical failure.
>storm out when one makes a passive aggressive comment
I'm honestly surprised at that - are these women made of eggshells? Can't fix that assuming you're telling the truth.
>demand I work more character growth opportunities into the story
They're obviously not asking for you to force them to do stuff with their fellow players - they want NPCs to interact with. Give them a little political intrigue or something, a bartender for their personalities to bounce off of. Be happy you don't have a group that wants nothing but combat.
>get upset when they encounter enemies with resistances or immunities to their favored methods of attack
What level are they? If they're high level, resistances are practically mandatory so they don't just destroy every NPC you throw at them. Low level, what are you doing including resistances? Even a small one could render low rolls moot. If they hate combat as much as you claim, don't go making shit worse.
>>45359217
>mfw I've seen this been done before
Not quite infinite hydras, but enough to fuck everyone over. AND THE GUY THAT DID THIS SOMEHOW LOST.
>>45362213
You got 15 minutes to both convince him you should and do the deed, we're not postponing the game any longer. And don't strain the carpet.
>>45362275
Thing is, they're the ones who asked me to include crit fails. I normally play nat 1s as 'it just doesn't work', but they wanted something more punishing than that.
All of them are emotionally weak. I discovered this as I GMed for them.
There's NPCs everywhere they go. Even their foes have personalities and goals.
They're level 13 in Pathfinder. The worst thing they've encountered is a tie between a gargantuan-sized shambling mound, and a level 16 kobold Oracle. The mound had SR and electric immunity, which upset both the offensive casters immensely. The kobold fucked the psychic warrior right up.
>>45362532
>level 13
>not throwing dragons and dark gods at them
toughen those pussies up
"Can we play something not based on D&D?"
We tried Deadlands but they didn't like the combat.
>>45362532
>>45362532
Do ou have sexual intimacy with any of them?
"Stop bitching and read the rules for once"
This of course coming from someone in a group notorious for not actually investing any time reading the rules or paying attention in gamepathfinder in This case, all the while complaining that they can't do "xyz".
Then they immediately return to their phones and ignore everything contextual and "rinse repeat" until they demand we play something different.Usually 5e
>>45358126
>>45358226
>>45358516
>>45358836
>>45359833
>>45360622
>>45362105
These... MIGHT get me kicked out.
>>45362295
...what. How.
>>45362796
No. This is all done over the internet.
>>45362796
That is terribly formal way to phrase it.
>>45358010
"Well according to RAW I can do it."I'd kick you out for it, too.
>>45363014
>>45363014
You prefer if I had ask if he gets blowjobs beneath the table while they play?
>>45358836
>NOT wanting to play a game centered around the Crusades
Get a load of this fucking pleb.
>>45363107
Some anons are sluts.Women wearing glasses give the best head.
>>45363126
$20 he's a saracen.
>>45363107
Yes.
>>45363126
The rules are shit anon, pure shit.
>>45363127And women wearing bracers give the worst.
Unfortunately, one doesn't cancel out the other.
>>45361224
When someone brings up triggers, pronouns, x-cards, or similar bullshit, I just say this.
"That is no way for a grown wo/man to behave. Act your age."
>Fat fuck, if you eat my chips again I'm throwing you out.
>>45363173
Depends on what you're trying to cancel out in the first place.Gotta like it rough Anon, be a slut too.
>My toon...
Dragons are fucking lame
>>45358010
"Let's wait for some proof that's what happened"This is the problem with most everyone your age believing that the Ferguson thing was deliberate, despite no evidence being present to prove it, and lots of evidence against it.
melon melon melon melon melon melon melon melon
>>45363281It is mostly a problem with everyone wanting to act like a victim so they have something to whine about, and others acting like they are the defenders of the oppressed so that they can stroke their own egoAll the while only achieving the opposite effect
>prestige classes
>>45363159
Women exist only to please a man.
>>45358486
Flashgitz are awesome though.
>>45358010
>Well split my dick and call me Caitlyn
>>45362295 Provide more details.Provide more details.
>>45363673
You have a shitty group m8
>>45358010
"Fuck yo' couch, nigga. Fuck yo' couch."
>>45358937
Don't fucking start
>>45363189
>X-cards
Don't remind me, the concept is so damn stupid.
I may as well say, "I'm a pacifist and hate violence in this Dark Heresy game. I will pass my turn every time we have to hurt something and receive no consequences."
If you don't like a DM's game, then leave, don't make him pander to your tastes.
Offer suggestions, fixes, scenarios and ideas during breaks, but never during the game.
>>45358010
"Guys, kick me out of the group"
>>45361274
>"Quick, use my lucky dice!"
>"Wow, nat 20!"
>"I know, right? It's because they've been inside me."
mfw
>>45363811
They shoulda never gave you niggas money!
>>45358010
>my character is based off of this anime character...
>>45363867
"So, yeah, I was thinking... I'm gonna need to secure my luck before the next exam. It's hard, you know."
>>45358010
Guys! I've got 'Pedo Bear' the Board Game!
>>45358010
"I offer to suck his dick."
>>45363950
"You know, if you're already going to shove those dice up your vagina for luck, I've got something much bigger that could go in there that'd make you feel like the luckiest woman alive. Oh, and trust me, it's hard."
And then I'd get kicked out of the group.
>>45363610Yeah. The same person got furious over the concept of the nail polish that can detect some of the date rape drugs because it somehow encouraged rape. There is literally no way to reason to that without false logic.
>>45358010
I fuck your girlfriend from time to time.
>>45363917
My paladin is based (loosely) off Asura, is that okay?
I'm voting for Trump; Make America Great Again!
>>45364480
Asura isn't anime though, except for that one segment.
>>45364636
The whole game is anime in all but name. Which segment?
>>45364529
Fuck off shillary
>>45364665
The one where it's literally anime, where he has no arms and punches the shit out of the Gohma with a mile long fist of fire.
>>45364798
Oh yeah, and the Yasha one of those episodes. Shit was cash as fuck.
>>45358069
Every fucking day the party bard tries to charm my wizard to go drinking with them. It never works which makes it even funnier
>>45358010
Where's your bathroom. Actually never mind.
>>45358010
I lost the maguffin.
>>45359218
Hey, those words will get you invited into mine! My player are great, but no one will play a gnoll chick OR dickgirl...to say nothing of both D=
>>45361502
Reptile races shouldn't have mammary glands, because those belong on mammals.
Dragonborn/Dragons aren't reptiles, though, they're their own thing, so depending on the setting they can have mammery glands because they're weird. Same goes for any supernaturally based hybrid race, magic bends the rules so they can be weirdos like that.
>>45365259
>Reptile races shouldn't have mammary glands, because those belong on mammals.
F A N T A S Y
If a god or wizard created lizard people without tits, that god or wIzard is undoubtedly a massive homo.
>>45358010
We're getting a divorce.
>>45361505
thank
>>45362053
But your head will collapse!
>>45365255
And your group would be okay with this?
>>45365255
Dominant gnoll dickgirls
>thisismyfetish.jpg
>>45365255
>D=
kill yourself
>>45365531
That fucking game. Everytime I tried to win at it I got kicked out, and eventually I just ran around the apartment talking nonsense and somehow that ended up with me saving their relationship.
>>45358010
Shit nigga, why is there so many kobolds?
>>45365626
Much like an average roleplaying game!
Amirite?
>>45358010
this is a monster girl campaign.
>>45365649
is them mongooses?
>>45359489
Some come also to rape and/or murder, you're right.
>>45365491
Wanna join our game?! Here, have another hyenagirl.
>>45365483
Yeah. We do ERP sometimes between sessions. We had an ex-gf who played a year back (great at first, then dropped out of grad school and couldn't get her shit together) but otherwise all <25 white males living on our own. We're okay with anything short of being an asshole IRL on purpose.
>>45365611
After another 40 years of drinking, sure
>>45365901
>between
>>45365901
Not that anon, but sure I'm down. Online game?
>>45365901
I could be persuaded, provided my work schedule settles the fuck down
>>45365931
Sure! Any interested anons, go this doc for my gmail and message me on Hangouts. I'll put together a Hangouts chat or something tomorrow after getting responses.
I'm up for anything that might involve /d/ material (and gnolls) and we can even do a 1 on 1 game, so don't hesitate to message me!
>>45366317
....THIS doc!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/10teDCw_7Y_vMoX-WiyEg6WY3Iqcdgo6jigu0jdJnSnY/edit?usp=sharing
>>45358383
I enjoy saying the word "fuckboy". I just like how it rolls off the tongue.
>>45364723
That's a very strong implication there, buddy, how do you know they won't for Cruz or Sanders?
>>45358010
I coup de grace the bandit leader.
>>45365460
>Im-fucking-plying
I spent twenty minutes before the game working out the mechanics of the sheev spin with the dm, since I was weak as fuck. His jaw dropped when I rolled a crit on the encounter boss with my spin
>>45365925
We try during sessions sometimes, but the moment someone can't hold back their laughter it's all over.
>>45366331
>>45366317
Already getting responses, thanks guys! If you don't hear from me by 9 AM EST, try again or leave a comment in the doc so we can chat and get to sexytiem.
>>45358010
>>I commissioned dmitrys for my character portrait.
>>45367028
Who?
>pokerface.jpg
>>45358010
Can I roleplay as my Sergal rapist character?
>>45361909
So you might say they are.... triggered?
>>45366899
AAAAAOOORRGGGHHHH
>>45367074
>>45367028
>mfw half the table knows where my portrait is from and keep glancing nervously but won't say anything.
>mfw their next character's portrait is from the same artist
>>45364919
Charm fight!
>>45367504
>So you might say they are.... triggered?
Hue.
>>45358010
Zyklon B isn't strong enough to kill humans.
>>45366899
>I spent twenty minutes before the game working out the mechanics of the sheev spin with the dm, since I was weak as fuck.
Post 'em
>>45363107
Why does that sound so hot
> Can I talk to the bats?
>>45367792
We wouldn't know.It was never tested on them
>>45365342
Like Gandalf
>>45367961
Because it is
>>45368020
Oh snap
>>45358047
That happened once in my group, in a game I wasn't involved in, and I forget why. To be fair, they didn't know it was a sacred artifact at the time, but that really doesn't help their case much.
>>45364480
What? An Asura expy would make for an AMAZING paladin.
>Zealous member of a holy order
>Overflowing with righteous fury towards his enemies, but deeply loving towards his family, loyal to his allies, and protective of the innocent
>Ultimately willing to straight up punch his god in the face for the sake of what he feels is right and just, and damn the personal consequences
Playing as or with the angriest pally in the world sounds like a good time to me.
"It's what my character would do."
Hey guys, I'm running the next campaign:
Maid RPG!
>>45368282
I'd honestly be down for that.
That game looks bonkers.
>>45368336
It'd be a nice change of pace to run that or Magical Burst or similar, but my group is majority normalfags and half of them women, so it wouldn't go over well.
Getting them to play anything but 3.5/Pathfinder is a miracle on its own.
>>45368282
That's 9 words, and you need a better group if they'd kick you out for that.
>>45368282
I'd play that. A shame because everyone in my friend circle thinks it's just weeb FATAL.
>>45368423
Shit, I'm tired. Take a word out somewhere.
>>45368433
>everyone in my friend circle thinks it's just weeb FATAL.
Yeah, pretty much this.
>>45368462
If they think Maid is too crazy, I hope they never find out about my adoration for Nechronica. I enjoy cute juxtaposed against grimdark settings too much.
"So I rolled up a fey catboy wizard..."
>>45358047
>first time playing
>friend makes dorf wizard with pretty solid strength
>spends all his starting gold on a dickload of weapons
>start the campaign
>he realizes he forgot to have clothes
>or a backpack
>or anything that wasn't an axe or something
>he rolls with it and keeps everything in his ass
>E v e r y t h i n g
>>45358010
If you want a sure fire way:
"I fuck children, your neice looks sexy"
>>45362036
Let me guess,"all Blue Rose, all the time."
Response to >>45358010
"I rape her."
>>45361471
>>45358383
>Playing a game with made up terms all over the place
>"Fuckboy isn't a real word"
Neither is "Vorpal" you cockgobbler. Some pedophile who didn't understand math and some drunk white girl on black twitter are about equal in the "gets to make up words" game.
>>45358869
:^)
