>you just announced that the target has entered the room/building
>they ask about ANYTHING related to furniture, structural integrity, or "any people nearby"
>bonus points for the slight smile they invariably let slip when you answer them
>GM introduces a character who is CLEARLY lying to us
>as in we have factual proof that he is not being honest
>rolls max on his Bluff roll
Conversely,
>player tells a lie that no one would ever buy, either due to knowing better or just not caring
>NPC calls them out on it
>"WOW WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO ROLL FOR BLUFF THEN"
>>45230972
>they ask about anything
>smile widely while answering their questions
Guaranteed player panic mode and two hours of poking the chair with a stick
I've got one player who asks the most obscure questions then uncontrollably giggle for 15 seconds but almost never acts on that info
>>45230972
>generic scene passes
>generic scene passes
>generic scene passes
>THE SCENE YOU PREPPED ALL WEEK FOR OCCURS. SWEEPING VOICES, DETAILED ENVIRONMENTS. THE BBEG HITS EVERY LINE ON HIS DESCRIPTION ABOUT "HOT TOPIC BINGO"
>THE PLAYERS START SHIT WITH THE BBEG!
>one of the players leave a longtime group
>no problem, we can bring a new player in
>new player is completely new to the game
>new player and the old party immediately do not get along
>new player made a decent character, but all his skills are already better covered by the group's characters
>have to watch the new player's hope and excitement fade every session
>>45231090
>>have to watch the new player's hope and excitement fade every session
Man that sucks. He'll probably quit tabletop forever because of this experience and it's going to be your fault.
>>45230972
tfw half of your players don't share your passion for your favorite setting, other half won't play anything else and there are no other players in the region who aren't the worst neckbeards
>>45230972
>never really prep anything
>make up shit on the fly
>everyone is having a good time
I love being a GM.
>>45231106
Well, not much I can do about that other than browbeating the group or trying to work out a oneshot to show tabletop isn't all bad.
The fact that he's still coming must mean something, right?
>>45231205
The fact that he's still coming means that he either:
A
>Is waiting for the game to end so he can politely leave
B
>Waiting it out to see if it gets better. If his character is generally left out in-game its probably this.
C
>Having fun but has lost love for the game but still comes for the social aspect.
>>45231182
This is actually my first time not completely phoning it in. But it'll end up there within 3 sessions.
>>45230972
>send a group message explaining why I think we should make characters a week ahead of actually playing so the GM can build the characters' strengths/weaknesses into the quests
>ask when everyone thinks we should play again
>zero replies>two days later someone from the group says we should play a game this weekend
Anyone else have legit ADHD? How do you GM? I can't improvise at all if anyone else in the room is making sound, and our group prefers to play to music. It makes me feel like an old computer, slowly, slowly churning out answers while everyone loses patience waiting.
>>45231273
>group of friends decide to play
>I bite the bullet and DM
>make a facebook event
>start a poll for best day to play
>I'm the only one who actually picks a date
>tell people to create a character/backstory
>one response
>>45231273
>>ask when everyone thinks we should play again
>>zero replies
>>two days later someone from the group says we should play a game this weekend
Fucking this.
>>45231367
I hate that shit so much.
'Please bring a pencil and your dice, everything else will be provided'
Not a single soul brings either of those items.
How fucking hard is it to shove that shit in your pocket or backpack?
>>45231432
God damnit. It feels so good to have dice of your own. You've been playing for FIVE YEARS. HOW are you STILL okay with just borrowing half my shit?
>>45231027
Do they not get how circumstance modifiers work?
>>45230972
>players encounter a group of kobold bandits that've set up a blockade on the road
>they talk with them, try to figure out a way through without fighting or paying gold
>eventually the summoner (or his eidolon, i don't recall which) decides to trade their passage for a song
>sings about an ancient kobold hero, rolls absurdly high on their check thanks to something like an 18 or 19 coupled with having a fair few points put into singing
>also knew draconic, so sang in that
>kobolds brought to tears, let them pass without issue
>eventually group has to hunt down some bandits and kill their leader
>discover that the bandits are the same kobolds from earlier, their leader is a lizardman-looking fellow taller than the party's fighter
>both sides are hesitant to fight eachother, bandit leader wondering what the fuck
>manage to challenge the leader to a duel
>fighter takes him down after a fairly gruelling fight
>they tell the kobolds to stay out of trouble, let them bury the leader with his artifact sword and high-quality armour, give them a gem worth something like 500g they'd found earlier
>mfw
they were some great fucking players
might have to start another campaign with them sometime, maybe ressurect this one
>>45230972
>Always the one to set up a time and place to play
>Willing to play late into the night/early into the morning even if I work
>Have on multiple occasions stayed up until 4am because the party wants to, even though I work at 9 or 10am and I usually walk to work
>I work 8-9 hours a day standing
>None of the players are willing to make the commitment to play unless they don't work the next day, even if they have plenty of time to sleep in
>>45231367
>tfw your closest friends make the worst group in the world but you don't want to play with strangers
I've tried everything to make the game fun for them but they just don't want to learn. It's like they use the game as an excuse to hang out instead of just fucking saying they want to hang out. On top of that, three people fight for DM position but nobody keeps track of any campaign's papers, so we just start new each fucking time.
In our half decade of playing together, we've continued a campaign from last session ONE TIME. Do you know how many characters that is? And each one is started from first level, too.
Is this Hell?
>Be Forever DM
>Try to encourage the other guys into running somethign so i can relax and be a PC for once
>Soon after one of them finally offers
>Holy fuck yes
>Time comes to play
>Holy fuck no
>How is it possible to fail this hard at basic story-telling?
>The other players start offering their own campaign ideas.
>Only one of them is a semi-competant DM
>We never get more than three sessions into any campaign ever again because we're all too busy jumping about between campaigns to form emotional connections with characters/settings.
I tried, /tg/. I tried and it blew up in my face so hard.
I literally have no clue how it feels to play a level 2 or above player. We've maybe leveled up a handful of times but each time we decide to calculate everything the next time we play and never play that campaign again.
>>45231670
Feel the pain man. The farthest we've ever gotten in three years is level 4.
>>45231670
>>45231750
We've played for about 4 years now in the same campaign, usually two long sessions a month.
We've just hit level 6.
>>45231555
God this.
>Get everybody together because they all want to play
>finding a day that works for everyone is like fucking pulling teeth, not to mention the fact that more often than not I get no responses from half of them until the "hey are we playing today?" message that comes hours before I wanted to start the game
>most of them have either forgotten their dice or still haven't bought any after almost ten years of gaming together
>first session can't go ten minutes without getting sidetracked with jokes
>try to organize the second session, say it's kind of important that we have everybody there
>scheduling nightmare again
>"oh it's fine just play without me lol"
>second session never happens
I love hanging out with these dudes but i always ended up getting pissed when I spent several days going through the trouble of organizing and putting together a game only to have everybody show up and not be invested in it at all. It got to the point where I just took the two or three people that were always into it the most and only told them when I wanted to get a game together and we can actually have full campaigns that go off without a hitch. I suggest you do the same.
>>45231854
Sounds like a good idea. Who knows? Maybe finding out later down the road that everyone else is actually progressing might knock some sense into them. Probably not though.
Also:
>"oh it's fine just play without me lol"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>45230972
One thing that I get off on being a Forever DM
>My new (when we started playing) players want to try DMing
>My veteran players have played with other DMs / currently play multiple campaigns
>I have a post-session talk through the week with each of my players regarding things like what they liked / didn't like during the session, what they would like to do more of, how would they feel if I implemented optional rule X / Homebrew Y
>Each one gives me great feedback
Here's the good part
>Each veteran player tells me I'm the best DM they've ever had, and list why (open to ideas, great stories / dungeons, always seem prepared, etc.)
>Each other player tells me how much they don't like newDMs style, railroading, story, methods, etc.
That's my guilty pleasure of being ForeverDM
>Be forever DM
>Players come and go. Girlfriend, brother, close friend and neighbor only regular players. They role play well and are generally smart and avoid death.
>Making shit up as I go and everyone is having great time. Friend says he wants to run 3.5 gestalt. I'm pumped cause I finally get to play.
>After a month we finish his thing, kill the dragon, we heroes. Back to my campaign. Back to forever GM.
>Actually ok with it cause my players are fun, never question my shit and aren't murder hobos.
Friend says we will run a sequel soon and my GF wants to run a game so there is hope for me at least. Neighbor is leaving so we need to find another player but I'm afraid the new guy might screw up a good thing we have.
>Have a small three person group, me, the DM included, we're all good riends.
>The game goes on for nearly thirty sessions, we finish the first teast-dungeon I'd set up in that time and I was getting ready to really put work into it
>Suddenly get into big argument with them, we're all having disagreements, I'm suddenly thrown from the group and have to sullenly think of my lost friends and my annoyingly unfinished game.
>Every time I think about ever working on it it just brings up bad memories and depresses me
>>45233198
Ok, what did you do?
>>45233431
A long list of things. Base point is that for the three years we had all been friends, I had some arguing habits that I repeatedly said I would work on, that caused problems between me and the rest of the group. Other than that, we were great friends. It just came to a point where I was heading in that direction during a discussion, and the head of the group just said that's it, banned me, blocked me, and had everyone else in the group do the same.
>>45230972
Castle had guards. They would have let the party in because the king is expecting people of their description.
So of course the players murder one of the guards the first chance they get.
>>45233619
Im so glad I never delt with that. My players try to talk to everything and work things out. Even when they needed to steal city guards uniforms they only knocked them out.
>>45231495
They sound like examplary good players. Don't lose them
>realizing I'll never live up to my own or anyone else's expectations, either as a GM or a person in general
>nobody bothers to call me out on everything, shelling out forced weak praises all the time
>"it was fun" or "I liked that NPC" every time
JUST DROP THE GUILLOTINE ALREADY, YOU'VE GOT THE SENTENCE FROM THE JUDGE. WHY DELAY IT.
JUST FINISH ME OFF AND BE DONE WITH IT.
>>45231495
I wish I could play with your group.
Here's how that scenario plays out with mine
>players encounter a group of kobold bandits that've set up a blockade on the road
>Bard tries to talk to them
>Half-Orc Barb and his brother the Ranger say fuck that and start killing them
>Druid says lolwtf "and then burns everything down
>Rogue already put 8 arrows into everything
>Sorcerer Fireballs
>Bard whines that we need to be more diplomatic
>eventually group has to hunt down some bandits and kill their leader
>Goes and kills the leader.
>pilfers everything of every body
>Ears and hands all missing from kobolds because Barb and Ranger like collecting body parts.
>>45231273
>>45231367
>>45231432
>>45231523
>>45231609
Players are fucking scum.
>DMing a long-running D&D 4E game, we're like lvl 20 by this point
>everyone living in the same apartment, so its easy to play whenever
>set everything up every time, ornate candle holders, wine, appropriate music and every session is tons of fun
>one player starts to become less and less interested
>his other group of friends introduce him to LoL
>he never wants to play anymore, using excuses like "I'm tired", "I've got homework".
>me and other players have tougher majors and more homework but we take care of that shit well in advance
>After these excuses he stays up later than us playing LoL
>we play less and less and eventually not at all
>lvl 23 characters, with a couple hundred hours poured into them, with a campaign plot half fulfilled, all for nothing
>>45234343
>LoL
Not even once. Worse than a fucking drug addiction.
>>45231337
I've got it, and the best thing I can say is - plan in advance. Remember what you have written down for where you want the session to go (plan multiple routes, because christ you don't know if you want to actually do what you wanted to do when the time comes) and have it written down somewhere to bring all your distractions back to the main game. Constantly keep reminding yourself to stay on task and remember what the focus of tonight's game is.
If your players are anywhere sympathetic, they won't mind if you take a break every now and then. Clear your thoughts, reorient yourself, review your notes.
All in all - just set a goal (or multiple) and stick with it, even if you need time to think every now and then.
>>45234288
Holy shit are you me?
>>45231495
>reacting peacefully to possibly hostile NPCs
>caring about NPCs
>recognizing a moral quandary and trying to solve it with the least amount of bloodshed
Keep them. Keep them forever.
Fairly new to forever GM but a couple things dragged me into it. I'm not only really good at improv but I'm going into Creative Writing so my written down stuff is taken very well.
>That uncontrollable smirk/smile when you're about to shit on the group
>Keeping small mental notes about all the little things the players forget to do so you can get on them later. (IE, not retrieving arrows)
>Your BBEG dies (both pleasure and pain)
>Your BBEG wins (all the pleasure)
>Get called out by experienced player. He's using other GMs playstyle as a basis for his knowledge and to as why you're in the wrong. Other GM is actually outright wrong on things. BTFO
The tops for me is:
>Keeping that half the information to yourself if the players don't care to investigate further.
And that's why they didn't notice the Minotaur.
>tfw no one will ever play Star Frontiers with you.
The suffering of being the only person interested in pulpy sci-fi.
I will never GM a cool campaign where the players are a ragtag group of space smugglers/vagabonds with a space ship
>tfw forever GMing fantasy games or le sleek super futuristic "hard" sci-fi
>>45231182
I do the same thing. I just make a basic outline of how the world works and fill in certain areas as I go along. Easier to give the players a road map instead of laying down tracks.
>mfw my players don't know the world is shaped like a cube and they eventually sail off the edge of and I end the session there
>>45234506
That sounds fun as fuck. Do you game online ever?
>>45234629
I do, I'm spread a bit thin at the moment, though.
>>45234661
Damn, because you described the one game I've been really wanting to run or play
>>45234756
I'm sure we can get it going, seeing as we are probably not the only ones who want something like that.
>>45234817
That sounds like a lot of fun actually. I assume you'd use roll 20 or something? I'm a newer player but I'm told I'm a quick learner.
>>45231205
Shove a plotline at him see if you can get a bite.
>>45234892
Yeah, roll20 would be the go to.
>>45231205
Give him a few extra, subtle boosties on the side (After checking with your group they're fine with it) or a gimmick of some kind he can excel at.
And run a side-quest or two for him.
Eye of the Tiger man, you can make it work.
>>45234366
>>45234343
>LoL
>>45234907
If you could email me at [email protected] that would be fantastic, 4chan is kind of tough to reliably communicate through.
>>45234396
No, he's me
Pains
>Players always like to put every little thing in the game to some media reference to the point where it is a meme and any story I try to established is derailed because of this shit.
>My players bought some WoW board game and instead of playing it on another day, they are pushing off my campaign to play it because "Hur dur, it's really expensive and we all pooled money to get it! xD"
>One player who might start working on Saturday is trying to say "Oh yeah well, I might be late now, so instead of D&D we should like do board games instead."
So that's cool, all the fucking work I put into this game is just pissed on. Whatever, I need better friends or something.
The only fun part of DMing is doing shit that leaves the players absolutely confused and bewildered on why they spent a session in a half in a town that didn't make sense and had no immediate importance to their quest at hand but in the end game makes sense.
>>45231205
Get him involved in the plot. Check his backstory (work with him to create one if he doesn't have one already) and incorporate it into the ongoing story.
Also, why doesn't he get along with the other players?
I've been thinking of running a game of one of either STALKER, BPRD (Like Hellboy), Hard scifi, or soft scifi using GURPS through roll20.
But I'm in need of a few players. Any forever GMs interested in being a PC for once?
>>45235230
>The only fun part of DMing is doing shit that leaves the players absolutely confused and bewildered on why they spent a session in a half in a town that didn't make sense and had no immediate importance to their quest at hand but in the end game makes sense.
And then you act surprised when they'd rather play board games.
>>45235400
I'm nervous about strangers anon.
>>45235431
Fucking THIS
Guy sucked as a GM but his friends were too polite to flat out tell him this.
>>45235431
Kind of hard to explain that their BBG are a bunch of lovecraftian old gods who want to fuck with them when all they do is meme in every RP and feel the need to say how the statement I just said is similar to something in jaws.
>>45231453
I personally just hate real dice, e-dice all the time.
>>45235506
Then these aren't the kind of people you want to even try to roleplay with in the first place. Just let it go and enjoy your newfound board gaming night.
>>45235400
Forever DM here. I've been looking to play a game of GURPS so I can learn the system better and hopefully run a game myself soon. Post some contact info friend
>>45235611
Skype is ooberkin
>>45234459
>>Keeping small mental notes about all the little things the players forget to do so you can get on them later. (IE, not retrieving arrows)
That DM detected.
>forever DM
>desperate to be a PC
>finally get my chance
>spend the entire campaign thinking about how much "better" this setting would be if I was helming it
Fuck sakes. I hate being DM but I'm too much of a spaz to be a PC.
>>45235506
I usually let everyone meme to their fulfillment before we game, so they don't shit up the RP with it. I am also running a campaign in which everything is admittedly stolen from something else and the players love it (they only get about half of the references).
But if what I do doesn't work then >>45235608 has a good point as well.
>>45235749
>That DM detected.
How do you feel about
>javelins
>darts
>throwing knives
>throwing hammers
>throwing axes
>bullets
>>45233548
You sound pretty awful.
>>45235807
I know what you mean.
>>45235230
That's funny, because my game is full of subtle references to things, that I almost anticipate my players picking up on.They will never realize that an entire nation is based off of one joke from A Prairie Home Companion.
Or that I stole my dragons from Skyrim, but they won't get how.
>>45234396
>>45235221
???
I think I'm him
>>45235534
I'm hard on my players, but I love when they figure out what I'm really up to. I fully let them exploit this information and take the upper hand in everything for a while.
>>45236265
I feel like we can assume that the characters will remember to pick them up after combat, without the players having to waste everyone's time by mentioning it.
>>45236415
>They will never realize that an entire nation is based off of one joke from A Prairie Home Companion.
This requires further explanation.
>>45231273
>Giving the DM time to figure out your bullshit
>Giving the DM time to find things to counter you
What is this a bad player thread?
>>45231273
This, so much
Additionally:
>players show up first session with no characters
>despite literally asking them to have them made 2 weeks in advance
>"I had homework"
>we go to the same high school
>other players didn't read their class abilities
>spend the entire session looking through abilities/spells or planning out their turn -on- their turn instead of any other players turn.>I still had a way better time than with my current group
>>45236891
Because some of them are like >>45231432
and come completely unprepared and spend the entire first session creating their character
I have been playing with the same 5 people for several years now, and 2 of them know how to create characters. Please kill me.
>>45231495
>Find tomb of Felgar the Goblin king
>Filled with gold and jewels
>Paintings of noble refined goblins on the walls
>Suits of armor obviously made by goblins but better quality than even the dwarfs
>Free the tomb from a evil goblin cult
>Clean up the place
>Make sure the dead can rest at ease
>Seal the place up and hide it away again
>DM gets super pissed because we didn't murderhobo and rob the place
>Tells us he had this great fight and shit for us to do
>Ends the session half way through because now he can run what he wanted to run
I hate everyone
>>45237033
Throw the source-books on their heads and tell them to read
>>45233548
...Tanner?
>>45237070
I have anon, you have no idea, I've given them the physical books when we play in real life, and they all own all of the PDFs for when we play online, but they just won't read them and can't/won't remember. And I'm the bad guy when I start to lose my shit because character creation takes 3 hours every time
>>45236890
The nation ruled by strong warrior women, the men play court politics and strut around like peacocks, and their children are very mature and clever, working from a young age.
>>45236862
So your fantasy world doesn't have many blacksmiths? Because everything that's crafted never breaks, gets lost, or is forgotten, there's never a need to make new items.
>>45237191
>character creation takes 3 hours every time
how the fuck are you still sane?
I'm >>45236910 and character creation takes 1 hour at worst, 20 min filling out the sheet average, or 10 seconds writing down the important shit and filling out as you need it.
unless I'm the one making a character then it takes 3 days, but I show up with it and another character, because I know I do that shit.
>>45231609
M group is in a similar situation but its better described as a cold war. Were all very very good DM's but we all hate it for one reason or another. We all want to be players. This ruins everything because it normally boils down to sly bitching until the group forces someone to do it. Then that player will grab a random premade and run through it as fast as possible to get his "turn" over with.
The only thing keeping us together is the fact that there are ZERO other players or groups and when we do find one we always get "Fuck no! I refuse to DM!"
>>45231555
>Is this Hell?
Good news: no
Bad news: this is Hades and you're Tantalus.
>>45237274
It's been very trying, and doesn't get a ton better when we start playing because if I'm running it I spend more than half the time trying to get people to play the god damn game and the other half dealing with them being randumb murderhobos, and if my friend is running he just doesn't prepare at all and the game is forgotten within 2 hours. The strangest part is that they all insit they do actually want to play and don't just want to hang out
>>45236910
sounds despicable
I'm very new to tabletop gaming (started DMing D&D 5e recently with a bunch of new players. We got the starter pack) and my main urk is when a player declares that they want to roll for something and then throws the die before I've got a word in.
It really kills the fun when I have to stop and say no, you can't roll a deception check to tell this random cannon fodder Orc you've just been fighting for five minutes to lay down his arms because you are actually an Orc spy (he's a dwarf!) and the rest of the party are your slaves. Think of something that could actually happen...
>>45234343
I've lost so many friends to ASSFAGGOTS.
>>45237245
>doesn't realize that he's playing a game and it's okay to abstract things for the sake of expediency
>>45237121
He deserves it fortreating Jordann the way he did
>>45231090
wait so you knew of this and did not mention it? Come on mate, beaing useless in a campaing is one of the worst felling ever, it almost got me to quit after a campaing like that, help the kid out
>>45231090
>new player made a decent character, but all his skills are already better covered by the group's characters
Asshole DM detected. New players joining a campaign NEED THAT INFO.
>>45230972
>Ask everyone to roll characters ahead of time
>Arrive on game day
>Not only did they roll, they coordinated without you to make a balanced team
>Two of them wrote their backstory together
>They hand you a stapled print out for reference later in the campaign
If I had an ahegao reaction image, I'd use it
>>45231337
I have a different solution actually. I tend to do this some time when I play to silence (to each their own). I use my stutters and pauses properly in narreration to add tension and suspense. Nothing is better than the loom on your ayers faces when you stop out a but with nothing behind it and grin wickedly while you think of somthing.
>>45238766
>if I had an ahegao reaction image
your folder isn't almost entirely ahegao?
the fucks wrong with you.
My greatest pain as a DM is lack of enthusiasm.
Not like, lack of enjoyment or desire to play, but a complete inability to translate that in-game. Somehow all players (and when I say all, I really do mean 100% of them) just completely abandon any concept of effort or care when it comes to actually playing. Does your character have a voice? No. Does your character react to anything? No. Does he step up and say things? No.
Yeah, I include people who insist "i play party faces" too. They're incapable of roleplaying, they turn every encounter or situation into four random douches talking in monotone voices that sound like they're going to pass out, and then after the session they rave about "that cool line they said" or something, when in reality you wouldn't think they even wanted to be there at the time.
But it's not even JUST that. It's that, coupled with a complete inability to care or take criticism. Tell them they could probably be more involved or roleplay better? It's a personal attack and they throw a fit. Hell, I hear all the time how players watch these entertaining live D&D shows full of excited players and roleplaying, and yet NONE of that seems to translate.
Players as a whole kill my enthusiasm for DMing.
>>45238841
I actually have few reactions left, I used to keep them on a usb but I lost it
>>45238841
The fact that I recognize some of those faces from their respective doujins is just sad.
>>45238985
Why? Ahegao is objectively the best fetish
>>45239113
Other thanvanillaof course
>>45238985
>some
>not all
>not being able to name the doujin/artist
that's the real tragedy here.
>>45231027
If you have factual fucking proof and someone tries to lie, you automatically fucking know they're lying. I don't care if you score five fucking critical 20s in a row on your Bluff or Persuasion or whatever. Use your common fucking sense, people.
>>45239269
That's when you cast Friends
>Come on man! I was framed! You know I ain't even like that!
>I... I believe you. Go! Get out before the others come!
>Wait, shit!
>>45230972
>Group doesn't follow plot hooks because "their characters wouldn't do it"
>Most characters have no goals
>Characters with goals don't do anything to work towards them
>Want longer sessions
Any advice, /tg/? I told them they need to either follow plot hooks or have their characters do things. We haven't played since then though. I'm not sure what else to do if this doesn't work.
>>45239391
1) Engage them with hooks that cater to their characters
2) Straight up, no bullshit, tell them that in no good piece of media would the protagonists be uninterested in pursuing a piece of story, because then the piece of story wouldn't be presented at all
3) If they don't follow a plot hook, make the plot hook follow them, and bite them in the ass for not doing it
>>45239451
>make the plot hook follow them, and bite them in the ass for not doing it
Choo choo
>>45239479
>Your inaction has consequences
>fucking railroading DM gg no re asshole
>>45239113
>>45239156
Sick fuckswith a golden taste
>>45239451
>3) If they don't follow a plot hook, make the plot hook follow them, and bite them in the ass for not doing it
>>45239497
>>45239534
>>45239479
I don't mean pester them about it, idiots, gosh. It's like the story with the Lich invasion and the gay marriage legalization.
>>45234506
>space smugglers/ vagabonds
Holy shit, that is my DREAM campaign. There's a reason why I loved Guardians of the Galaxy.
>Thinking about my current campaignn and how it'll segue into a semi-serious sorta-comedic space serial.
Gold
>>45237051
That is the exact opposite of how most DMs would react. I want to be your DM.
Had a player constantly doing reckless party-endangering shit without ever stopping to think or consult any of the other players. No matter what he did, he never once seemed to grasp the whole "party" concept and always acted surprised when the other members responded...disfavorably. To make matters worse, he was the only healer in the group.
Here's a few from his highlight reel:
>Shot a fireball down a hole filled with flammable gas while the party was hanging around the edge; it was the entrance to a demonlord's lair
>Managed to obtain an infant eldritch horror as a familiar, fed it to an elder dragon.
>Summoned a miniature cyclone in a battle against pint-sized toxic fiends. After setting them on fire. In a subterranean cave. Resultant toxic-flesh-fire-tornado nearly caused a TPK
After the baby eldritch horror finished gestating inside the elder dragon, ripped its way out as the avatar of a chaos god, and nearly caused the apocalypse, the other players finally put their collective feet down and finally gave him a good ass chewing.
Instead of resolving to be more thoughtful, reach some sort of compromise, mumble that he'd consult the party before tearing off on his own agenda, or even admit responsibility for a single thing he'd fucked up and shoved off on the rest of the party...
...he decided to stop healing anyone.
That was the ultimatum.
Either he got to turn D&D into his own personal fantasy sandbox, or the party would have to do without a healer.
I have never once seen players kick someone out of a party so quickly in my entire life.
He tried to appeal to me, bitching about how it was "unfair" or whatever.
Pic related sums up my response.inb4 the "you shouldn't have turned those things into catastrophic disasters, etc." response. Those things were stupid and reckless without any embellishment. It was either actively retcon them, say "no you can't do that," or turn them into something interesting.
>>45239709
You sound like a very worthwile DM
>>45239709
I did the third one irl with a match and a box of cold two-day-old burritos.
>>45239451
Thanks, I imagine the second one will be really helpful. I try to engage them with hooks for their characters, but when the majority of the group plays "I'm in it for the money" or similar things like that, it makes quests very boring. I've had them literally just say no because they weren't offered more money.
>>45239494
>>45239479
I try not to railroad, but if you have any suggestions for when they don't feel like doing anything aside from being spoon fed, I'm listening.
>>45238552
And forshitting all over Nick's living room
>>45234288
This. At a point I was basically sabotaging my own game to get a bad reaction and they still said I did well. How is a ten minute smoke break good GMing?
>>45240288We may not be thinking of the same Tanner.
>>45239479
biting them in the ass doesn't mean railroading.
If some guard wants the PC to go out and kill some bandits' hideout and let the guards in on it and they respond with "Fuck off, m8 we ain't no charity" then you need to do something.
Have the bandits fucking burn the town down or something. Make it a spiderman-uncle ben type thing. Great power and great responsibility type shit.
>DM for group for about six months...
>Had to start a new campaign.
One of the players argues with me... not over skills or characters, but whether or not a fucking galleon was bigger than a frigate.
>Say, "Well in this world frigates are bigger stfu".
>tfw you realize everybody liked the kid you just made quit because he couldnt fucking deal with a fantasy world's ship measurements.
>>45231555
I left my friends for the world of text-only RPG
>>45232332
>>45239709
Awesome, nice to see players and their DM growing a spine for a change.
>Construct a plot that will conceivably take a year to complete if we play regularly.
>Satisfying quests that cater to players strengths and weaknesses, side quests revolving around their backstories, crazy twists at unexpected intervals
>Plan and adapt for contingencies in player actions so that the few instances of railroading in the plot are virtually invisible.
>Craft a few supremely satisfying endings that tie up loose ends based on said contingencies
>Have an epilogue that turns a campaign of political low-fantasy into a time-bending surreal horror show that leaves room for a sequel set in the distant future
>Players get half-way through the campaign on schedule, everyone loving it
>>4523434 happens
>Two of them move away after another 6 months
>I eventually move too
>>45233548
So what you're saying is that you were That Guy.
>>45239709
The BBEG actually came to fruition in one of my old campaigns because of the logical long-term effects of the blatant negligence of "that guy" at the very start of the game. Good times.
>Party is meeting with a King in a throne room, much of the royal court is assembled.
>THAT FUCKING GUY asks to describe the room
>Asks for more details
>Asks about furniture
>Asks about people present
>Asks about SPECIFIC people present
>Describe everything to the fucker even after the initial details were probably more than enough to paint the scene, painstakingly answering any and all questions for almost half an hour
>"Okay, thanks, I'm not planning to do anything I just was curious." Said with a shit-eating grin
>>45234385
Thanks. I try to keep a general list of everything that's already going down without player influence so I know all the certainties to work around but I wind up losing track of things eventually when I forget to note a thing or two as we go. My players are surprisingly quick to catch inconsistencies. Maybe I do just need the rare pause and reminder.
>>45238798
Oh crap, I actually did that once - the party entered a new chamber in a cavern and I couldn't think of what to fill it with so I paused and grinned, then laughed a little. A couple of them looked absolutely horrified!
My favorite thing to do as a DM is to offer my players Faustian deals. "Oh, you didn't roll high enough? Tell you what, I'll let you succeed on the roll, but at the cost of X". Best way to get escalating situations in ways that don't feel 100% reliant on dice.
>>45243012
Story anon, you can just leave without the details.
>>45243802
>can
can't, sorry I'm slow today.
>>45237362
Damn, I always suspected.
>>45243802
>All the players are pretty new to tabletop RPGs, used the starting town as a tutorial of sorts
>Wrapping things up, conclusion main questline of Tutorial Town will open up a big chunk of the continent to them and get their names out there
>Decide to do this by having some local cultists they've been skirmishing with to be led by the local creepy gravedigger
>Get the ball rolling on the quest, players are picking up clues linking local happenings to the gravedigger
>During their stay in the Mayor's manor (he was their initial employer), gravedigger decides to go ahead with his plan and start summoning skeletons and zombies from the graveyard
>Mayor was in on it and skipped town for a sizeable payout
>Players freak the fuck out, board themselves in the manor
>Trying to decide what to do. Most want to storm the graveyard, That Guy just wants to GTFO
>That Guy eventually forces the party's hand by unbarring the door and literally running for the hills
>That Guy had built up a positive reputation with a thuggish militia that more or less acted as the town police
>He cashes in his influence with them and convinces them to GTFO with him
>Party catches up to him and are more or less coerced into accompanying the militia and That Guy into giving the town the finger
>The inexperienced party quickly gets caught up in politics and more or less forgets about the town they abandoned until about halfway through the game
By the end of the campaign, the gravedigger, who have been a low-level boss encounter, amassed an undead army that swallowed the south of the continent and lead a military campaign that threatened to BTFO out of the squabbling kingdoms on the rest of the land. The players grew astute enough to broker alliances between kingdoms that would tolerate it and conquer/subvert the power those that wouldn't play along in time to stop the conquest. It was a good time.
>>45238841
This gif was viewed with ffvii chocobo race theme in background. 10/10 would watch again.
>>45244463
That's great, but how did That Guy react to all this?
>>45245201
He was That Guy, after all. He acknowledged that it was appropriate, but didn't really feel any guilt or regret towards it. Plus, of all his attempted and successful derailings, that wasn't even the most damaging.
>>45241709
And the worst part is he was right you fucking idiot
>Player refuses to adapt
>Force him to adapt
>Still refuses to adapt
I've been a DM for 10 years now. Not once, in my 10 years of DMing/11 of playing, have I ever seen someone so fucking stubborn. He is a sorcerer that the entire group hates in and out of game. He's level 11 and has one blast spell that isn't fire, and doesn't know what utility casting is. He seriously has utility spells because "They filled out empty areas." Has no idea what they do.
He's supposedly been playing for 3 years. Don't believe it. Kids 16 and probably has autism. He also hits on my 26 year old sister AND the 14 year old girl at the table.
Only reason I ranted about him is the past 4 sessions they've been fighting things immune to fire, and specifically going after players that aren't there for the game at all gets me off a bit. He's also very bad at being a blaster mage. Took Careful spell and some other retarded metamagic. He's also the Special Snowflake Dragonborn stereotype.
I'm also the open game at the comic shop, so I'm a bit fucked at just kicking him out.
>>45245565
Now you're just making us curious.
>>45231337
>1337
Dank as fuck
>>45231233
>three sessions
>has dubs with 3s
You are God
>"uh i dont know what my character would do"
>their character is mute/autistic/retarded
>their character only does anything when a keyword is mentioned and otherwise doesn't do anything because their entire character is based around one fucking trait
I don't even know what to do with my main core of players anymore. I have four people who all create characters that fall into one of those categories and almost never interact with each other or the npcs. "construct who only cares about killing undead" "blind monk who never does anything because he's fucking blind" "fighter who never talks, just wants to fight everything he sees"
I'm tired
>>45245962
The worst one is hard to make sound exciting without a long post explaining the in-game universe, but The Guy essentially went against the party's wishes (again) and literally beheaded the NPC who not only was serving as the springboard into the larger and more nuanced/risky second half of the story, but the only plot hook I had planned to facilitate it.
>>45239709
>playing an edition where healers are mandatory
>>45245886
>Special Snowflake Dragonborn stereotype
Dragonborn aren't special anymore. What makes his different?
>>45245886
>Sorcerer
>like's playing blow shit up
fine so far, that's pretty much most sorcerers.
>utility spells because they filled out empty spots
>no idea what they do
most sorcs don't have empty spots because limited spell list so that's kind of odd, but not weird. but if he's a blaster mage why does he care about em?
>hits on 2 separate girls at the table
fucked up, yeah.
>fighting things immune to fire
>his entire character is fire damage
isn't that your fault? stop throughing fire immune shit at him or tell him that they'll be in hell/elemental plane or fire or whatever before he picks his new spell list or creates the character.
>specifically going after players that aren't there for the game at all gets me off a bit
the fuck does that even mean?
>He's also very bad at being a blaster mage. Took Careful spell and some other retarded metamagic
Careful is odd as a blaster, but being bad at making characters isn't something you should be yelling at your players for, anon. Some people just put shit together.
>special snowflake dragonborn stereotype
Explain further?
I don't see what exactly constitutes this level of hate, apart from hitting on 2 girls at the table which is completely justified for that.
Could/should have just started and ended with that, really.
>>45245886
>and specifically going after players that aren't there for the game at all gets me off a bit
"Going after" specific players for just about any reason at all makes you kind of a douchebag. To me, this feels like you're using a stick when you could be using a carrot. To give some random examples:
>guy has Comprehend Languages
>give the party a scroll in a dead language
>guy has Grease
>give the party some sausages and a pan, or have bad guys chase them headlong down some corridors until he gets the idea
Something like that. Give him opportunities to use those spells where they will be obviously usable instead of just forcing situations where his regular spells are worthless.
>>45231555
......You don't happen to play at a beach house?its because each time we have to introduce people into the hobby
