What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever stolen in-game, /tg/?
>>45057274
A lamp post. We knew it was being used as a dead drop so we waited for for the letter to be dropped off and then we winched it up and tore it out of the ground packed it into the trailer that the semi was hauling and then drove off.
>>45057274
My DM's heart.
>>45057274
OP's anal virginity
>>45057274
The Declaration of Independence
>>45057274
i tried and failed to steal my alcoholic husbands booze
>>45057274
A centaur kid.
>>45057274
Death's robe.
My players' time
>>45057274
The sun.
A semi truck from a shipping center in Shadowrun. Party split up and formed plans as small groups. I went in the front with a fake ID saying I was from the regional office and said I was here for inspections. The rouges slipped over a wall and quickly stole some company uniforms from obliging workers. The troll stood nearby in case we needed the muscle. The medic decided waffles were more important.
My main purpose is just to scout and keep eyes out for the rogues. They're working their way to the truck, intending to drive off with it and ram the gate. I would prefer to be a bit more subtle, but can't really give them a better plan. Then security stops me. There's been a bomb threat and they want orders. I gave a quick signal to get the rogues in view, told the guards to follow procedure and get all cargo out of the yard to minimize losses, and ordered "the first driving team I saw" into the truck we had tagged. I high tailed it after them and later found out Waffle Medic had made the call without consulting anyone. That was a fun group.
>>45057871
>>45057970
>>45058199
>>45058000
>>45058054
Storytime for any of these?
>>45057609
...Why did you decide you had to take the whole damn post? Was simply taking the letter not sufficient?
A baby.
>>45059312
A baby?! Man, we're still working on that one, might have to ask the goblins for advice.
>>45059087
Despite the fact that the initial allure of the game was "wizard mob bosses in the 1920s" no one in our party actually was a magic user so we didn't know how to open up the secret compartment and we couldn't wait around to cut it open and get the letter because we didn't want to get killed by magical mafia mooks.
>>45058919
For the sun, that one is a whole lot less impressive in context, since we didn't actually end up stealing THE sun. Party thief bragged he could steal anything (or rather the GM said that word of his feats had gotten around), so someone challenged him to steal the sun, betting him 'so and so' amount of gold that he couldn't do it. So he stole the sun (model) from a local observatory, and won the bet.
Much more interesting when the story is simply 'we stole the sun', as opposed to 'we won a bet to steal the sun by using a loophole'.
>>45057274
did anyone else find Carmen there a hottie when they were kids?
i thought so?
>>45062130
There were people who DIDN'T find Carmen Sandiego attractive?
your moms virginity
>>45057274
A plain clothes ISB agent's badge.
The princes' virginity.
>>45057274
I DMed a game where the party stole a Dragon-sized greatsword from a city ruled by a very angry dragon
An omelette.
>>45057274
A bag of holding filled with dildos.
>>45057274
A kiss
>>45062130
I still find her hot!
>>45057274
In Shadowrun, we broke into an Ares office facility and set every cubicle and desk chair to maximum height and stole the adjustment levers.
>>45062130
>>45062323
Most didn't find her at all.
>>45057274
The third prong from the right on a king's ten-pronged crown.
Said king had severe OCD, and wound up going batshit crazy over it.
>>45062130
>>45062323
>>45062569
Agreed.
>>45062735
Smarmy fuck.
>>45062627
>a special kind of hell
I once convinced my bodyguard to steal a Warscythe right out of the hands of a Necron Lord surrounded by a platoon of Necron soldiers.He lost his only remaining arm trying to get it. He actually got right in the metal bastard's face but failed the strength check to rip it out of his hands. He lost a limb but won my respect and a promotion.
Does that count?
>>45057274
The greatest treasure of a kingdom.The heart of a princess.
>>45057274
A kingdom. Not in an 'ascended the throne' way, I mean that we once physically stole a kingdom by moving it into a pocket dimension.
Hieronymus Bosch's Hell
Damien Hirst's For The Love Of God
30th Millennium weapons
We've stolen a lot of art
>>45057970
Get off of 4chan, Nick Cage.
Character once stole a legendary blade from the master of the thieves guild.
While it was on him.
Replacing it with a loaf of bread.
Then started a bar brawl without being spotted forcing the man to defend himself with bread.
haven't yet but I've always wanted to run an Ork focused Rogue Trader game about "Stealin' Da Humie's God" it was to be dubbed Orksens Eleven
The A-Team van.
>>45057274
Someone else's hand.
We were playing We Didn't Playtest This Game, with 'chaos' deck, wherein the entire deck is split for each player. And instead of losing the game when you 'lose the game', you have to discard a card, only losing the game when you run out of cards.
The goal of a Chaos round is to keep the most cards possible, and surviving long enough to knock everyone else out.
During play, one of the 'taboo' cards were played. Any time you state a word on the list of words you can't say (in this case Me, I, or Myself), you lose the entire game. Which in this chaos mode, meant that you instead only lose a card.
Another one of the players kept tormenting me with various attack cards, and they were currently on top, with so many cards they couldn't actually hold them all. So I decided to get back at them in the worst way possible.
When my turn went around, I held up the game by talking. What did I say? Well, I simply started saying "'I' lose a card." and discarding. Over and over and over.
They asked if I was quitting. I said 'I' was not (and discarded a card, of course).
Then, at the end, I had only one card left.
Mad Tea Party. It allows you to swap hands and seats with anyone else in the game.
So I played it. I switched with my nemesis, they sat down, and immediately had no cards whatsoever. And lost.
I didn't win the game, but at least they didn't either.
>>45057274
>>45064377
>Carmen Sandiego in 40k
Okay, now I've gotten to thinking: could Carmen Sandiego actually steal the Emperor's body from His Golden Throne? Or pilfer the Golden Throne and leave Him behind to finally die? Or even take both the Emperor and the Throne?
>>45064444
She could steal all of Holy Terra.
>>45064444
Easily. The Golden Throne is something she would steal as part of a larger throne-themed heist, culminating in stealing Khorne's Skull Throne.
>>45057274
>>45057274
A nuclear submarine.
The complete blueprints to a functional combat mecha, including weapons loadouts.
A soul.The heart of the physical embodiment of magic itself.
>>45057274
Our own character sheets.
The BBEG had access to weird reality-fucking dimension portal from which he got a lot of weird stuff. And then we burgled his storehouse.
>>45065151
... Did you edit them?
I mean, the rogue should have had forgery, right?
>>45057274
A maid. We didn't mean to, but it just kind of happened.
>>45065217
There wasn't any feedback from the sheets to characters, so no point in forgery.
>>45065236
Aw, that's no fun.
Though did your characters leveling up modify your sheets?
>>45065250
Yes. So jacking them denied BBEG of a huge informational advantage.
Probably that solid gold couch.We stopped adventuring after that, we were set for life.
>>45057274
A cloud city. That was a glorious case to why exploding dice shouldn't be allowed.
>>45062382
>that dagger under the bed sheet
Never trust a knife ear.
>>45067302
im sure you will find that whatever that is she got it from bad dragon anon
>>45057274
I have a PC who is a cleric of the goddess of thieves - this goddess is, in a nutshell, OP pic (not too subtle either).
He's used Bestow [greater] Curse to steal things like a bard's sense of humour or even a champion's fame, to be displayed as trophies in his hidden temple.
A town the whole town I sucked it into a separate dimension I'd created to steal said town now I'm the only connection they have to inhabited planes of existence
>>45057274
The pope's hat. Unchained a nuclear war between Russia and the USA with the Vatican siding with Russia in the progress...
>>45064444
A woman who can loot concepts like math is a woman who can take whatever she damn well pleases.
>>45057274
In a M&M campaign ew had going on for quite a long time, there was this time when some aliens wanted to attack the Earth.
We had a magician with the ritualist feature so we made him prepare a ritual for the biggest Dimensional Pocket he could cast.
Long story short, we stole the planet until the aliens got away.
>>45063960
How would you end the advenrure if your party succeeded?
>>45057274
>the whole vault of the Citadel of Skulls, and blowing up the whole suystem of Iniquity with an archeotech device found in it targetted toward said system nearby Blackhole.
> the Nexus of shadows as a whole, straight from the filthy hands of the DE holding it.
high level RT game can be a tad crazy.
The actual heart of a King
Snuck into the castle keep and did a heart transplant on him. You know how Briar Hearts on Skyrim work right? Like that only we sealed up his chest and he was none the wiser. Actually the false heart we gave him improved his lifespan and strength for decades.
>>45058014
...Just why even?
>>45067431
>she
How can you be so sure. Look at that elf.
>>45067658
I stole the commas from that post
>>45068718
>>45067302
That's a dunmer, and the thing you are looking at is a Skooma bottle.
Actually, upon closer inspection, that's Caius Cosades' house.
>>45062569
Love me some Carmen Sandiego
>>45062542
storytime plz
So I stolen this green rock from an drow's cave, the rock didn't do anything it was just a green rock but where I took it from matter.
The rock was a center piece in the noble drow's garden and this guy was a dick to us so I wanted to be a dick to him. He had placed warrior gardeners all over the garden and I was no theft so they saw me right away when I grab the rock. They drew their swords, I kicked over an cairn, they charged and my party and I started running.
We got out of the cave with minor cuts, I lost my leadership, and drow started hunting us throughout the rest of that game.
But it was worth it because that drow never got us back.
Asmodeus' Ruby Scepter. He wasn't playing nice and we needed him on our team.
>>45059312
You remind me of the babe.
I broke into a palace and swapped a fake artefact with the real artefact, so that the noble who had hired someone else to steal the artefact, thinking it was the real artefact, would then do a trade for the real artefact, believing he was trading a fake for the real artefact, when he was in fact handing over the real artefact and getting the fake.
This is all because we knew he had the resources to smuggle the artefact out of the city when we were under the eyes of the local constabulary and secret police because said noble wanted to prevent us from stealing it in the first place.
Aside from having to kill this one lass who tried to double cross us, it went perfectly.
>>45057274
Forty cakes.
A few weeks back in HtV we stole a tank from a seemingly-abandoned quarantine zone. Drove it all the way back to headquarters, left a trail of crushed destruction so shameless that a new character's introduction called back to it and used it as a travel waypoint/landmark.
Shockingly, we still haven't been caught despite this.
>>45072480
you monster
>>45072675
...disappointing.
I mean on the part of the cops, not you.
>>45057274
Thegloveof Darth Vader
>>45064490
>the aftermath
My players stole a space hulk. Well, about as well as one can steal a space hulk, but still.
A king sized portrait of Darth Sidious.
I haven't played that many games.
>>45057609
Well, hi there, Queen Jadis.
>>45075278
Not a reference I expected to see.
>>45074773
Stealing for my next campaign idea.
>>45068496
he might be female now but by the time im done with her she will be the right word indeed
he shall be my sissy.
>>45071800
What babe?
>>45057274
In Mordheim my Hired Sword thief stole an Opulent Coach more than once, resulting in an obscene amount of Gold Crowns for my Warband. We houseruled that was no longer okay in later campaigns.
We stole a big fucking hammer from a man with an eight legged horse.
We needed to free a man who stole fire from the gods.
>>45076148
The babe with the power.
>>45076266
What power?
>>45064487
I'm not sure if that is the most retarded or most brilliant thing I have hear today.
Another player character's baby.
The princess' hand in marriage.
>>45057274
A throne.
I didn't steal it by way of becoming the master of the region and claiming the expensive, gaudy chair as my birthright.
I fucking stole the damn thing and carried it away of a horse-drawn carriage.
>>45057274
My Deadlands character stole the sword of John Paul Jones.
>>45078850
Which JPJ?
>>45079314
Revolutionary War naval hero
>>45075278
Well shit, we have a true patrician here.
>>45057274
Nocturnal's panties.
>>45079917
Speaking of which, Digory's player is sooo predictable. Sees shiny object: MUST. TOUCH.
Polly obviously had the Wis bonuses.
One Shadowrun game had the party steal an AI that was full on autistic for the wireless world, albeit entirely by accident. My gruff Celtic technomancer actually got it to hug him in cyberspace.
>>45064444
Carmen stole abstract concepts multiple times
>>45059312
Oh no
Not me
>>45067452
Dammit, now i want to make a powered Locke Lamora, but i know full well I'm not clever enough to pull it off
A whole town.I knew Forgery would finally be useful.
>>45076243
>stealing from a guy with an eight legged horse
Hubris is what got the fire their in trouble in the first place, anon
>>45082529
Suddenly, Carmen Sandiego becomes the Imperium's greatest hero (greater even than Ciaphas Cain and the Emperor Himself) by stealing Chaos itself, leaving it locked in a safe, and then dumping the safe into a black hole..
>>45057274
Depends on how we're gonna define 'stealing' something.
We almost stole a big swastika made out of notKryptonite, but lost it in the ocean.
We /did/ take an oil rig Morlocks were living in and threw it at a vampire's night club.
>>45082563
I never lost control
>>45082699
>into a black hole
Which is comprised of the matter of everything else she's stolen, no doubt.
stat her
>>45057274
I once failed a pickpocket check and instead of stealing a very important pocketbook I ended up stealing the key to said pocketbook's lock. I never fucking got to use it for the entire campaign because the fucking wizard just magicked the lock open later when we just beat the shit outta the guy for the book.
>>45057274
>WELL SHE SNEAKS AROUND THE GALAXY
>FROM ANGELIS TO AURIELA
>SHE'S A STICKY FINGERED FILCHER
FROM HAGIA TO FENRIS
>OH SHE'LL TAKE YOU ON A RIDE
>ON A SLOW SHIP TO CADIA
>OH TELL ME WHERE IN THE GALAXY IS
>CARMEN SANDIEGO
>>45082671
Or it could have been because Zeus was an insufferable that.
In any case we gave the hammer back once we were done
>>45057274
We stole an a ship from a foreign princess while she was visiting another nation.I accidentally murdered the princess in the process.
>>45085334
how the fuck do you accidentally murder someone
>>45085395
Well, she was a warrior princess, so naturally I thought she would be tough.
She objected to us stealing her ship (and her would-be PC husband) and was going to attack us while we were making our escape.
I preemptively hit her with a spell and she died immediately.
The warrior princess wasn't nearly as tough as I thought she would be.
>>45076095
My melanin enhanced brother from another mother
For a special Australia day session I was running I tasked my players with stealing the still-beating heart of Steve Irwin implaed on a stingray tail. It was being used by a smuggler to aquire rare and dangerous wildlife which he sold on the black market. Australian government wanted it back.
That was an interesting session.
Panties off an informant. I did it while holding a whole conversation with her mid stride. She never noticed.
Other than that there was one time we stole a whole village.
Aerial early warning and control. While still in flight.
>>45062569
Who is the Hulk dude in the background WTF.
>>45087218
He's a big guy.
>>45057274
A halberd whilst a guard was leaning on it.he still didn't notice
I stole food from the dwarven barbarians plate because I really wanted to roll a sleight of hand check.
>>45057274
my party stole an adult black dragon. Yeah, the whole thing. They had to figure out how to move it since it was too big and heavy, and settled on air walk+control winds, so the party barb that could drag the dragon was blown to where the fuck they needed to be.
I stole a pirate army
>>45057274
Carmen Sandiego herself
The kings virginity
>>45083269
Here.
Wait. Where'd they go?
What the fuck just happened?
>>45089908
Looks like Carmen has learned from these posts: >>45065151, >>45065236, and >>45065265. We can now expect Carmen Sandiego to become a sexy, human thief version of Pun-Pun (assuming she wasn't before).
Does all this mean she stole the mantle of Primarch of the Blood Raven from Magnus?
>>45062627
Wasn't this an actual mission in one of the video games tho? Break into a corporate office and rearrange everything to ruin the feng-shui
>>45062569
>>45087218
This is a recolour of Madame Mirage. Hulk dude is literally called "The Dude"
Kenneth Rockafort draws some fine bitches.
>>45089986
Of course she did. Why would you ever assume otherwise?
>>45085149
