When a Paladin and an Antipaladin touch, do they explode?
They just disappear.
No.They annihilate.
>>44920438
That's a big sword.
>>44920438
it depends onWhich part of them touch
>>44920528
Actually, that's not an unreasonable size for a typical paladin's longsword. It may even be a little short to make up for the girl's relative lack of strength compared to the men of her order.(The Order of the Bare Thigh? Of the Open Heart? I don't know. Their uniform is peculiar.)
A common misconception propogated by D&D is that a longsword is a one-handed weapon and not longer than three or four feet. That more accurately describes a short sword.
An actual longsword is perhaps five or six feet in length at the blade, with a two-handed grip. Yes, knights often do use them single handed with a shield, but when they need some extra force behind a blow they will use both hands.
>>44920438
They become atheists.
>>44920438
Every round they touch, the effect of the Sunburst spell occurs with the pair as the point of origin. Neither are effected by the spell.
If one's a boy and the other a girl there will probably be an explosion, yes.
>>44920790
This is complete bs for anyone uninformed reading this post
>>44921228
"Longswords are short swords" - Some ignorant /tg/ Anon.
>>44920438
>When a Paladin and an Antipaladin touch, do they explode?
No,but sparks fly.
>>44921569
I hope you're making fun of the guy who said a short sword is 4' long and a longsword is 6' long and not me (the anon you quoted)
>>44921601
I thought you were going to say No,the kiss.
>>44920438
If one of them is male and the other is female, one of two things could happen.
>The paladin is male
He converts the antipaladin through the power of his +5 Holy Dick
>The paladin is female
She converts the antipaladin through tender loving with leglocking
In both cases consent is recommended but not required.
>>44921659
Fuck I meantthey kiss
>>44921648
I'm making fun of you, you dork.
>>44920790
>That more accurately describes a short sword.
No, it described an Arming Sword, also known as the "Knightly Sword" for obvious reasons.
>>44920438
Lawful hot dickings of course.
>>44920790
>Their uniform is peculiar
You can bet your ass that the male version of that armor doesn't have those elements. The bare thighs is a design trend coming from Japan that seems to emulate the bullshit ultra-short skirt + high boots/socks school uniforms you see in anime. It's really annoying.
>>44921677
>the good guys always win
you are so boring senpai
>>44921710
Well, its almost kind of cute with you calling me a dork, but I think actually our disagreement stems from our understanding of typical d&d fantasy swords.
I'm thinking in 5e terms in which a longsword IS the one OR two handed sword, which you can switch between. Even still I don't think the typical longsword reaches anywhere near 6 feet, as there exists also a greatsword. And some of the longest actually used (as in not ceremonial) swords were swords such as the zweihander, which cap out at under six feet, even taking into consideration the hilt, the blade would be much less).
Not that all fantasy sword fighting is bs, and most historical sword fighting we know isn't really all that similar to how it was probably actually done, as the whole thing has been steeped in mythology and the study of it has typically had somewhat poor scientific rigor (not just today, but going back hundreds of years)
so anyway it doesn't matter, but I don't think people ever typically fought with swords that were six feet long AT THE BLADE
>>44920438
The real question is what happens if you get a Paladin and an Anti-Paladin in a stable orbit around one another and tell them both to channel. The magic would increase the energy of the system freely, increasing the speed of the orbit as the counterbalanced channel is unable to cancel out due to the spinning. They can gain more and more speed till they reach relativistic orbit and become a Paladium Particle, and who knows what the fuck that can do.
>>44920438
I she touches me, I explode.
>>44920790
>An actual longsword is perhaps five or six feet in length at the blade
A sword that's five to six feet in total will tend to be a true twohander, or it's a longsword for a very tall person that almost completely ignores the single handed side of things. You're going to need a lot of arms for a meter of blade to be comfortable with Fiore.
I'd say 100-140 cm is a more reasonable "normal" range for longswords, and that's the entire sword, not just the blade. Outliers, extremes, oddities and things seemingly made specifically to fuck with classification always exist as well of course.
The girl's sword seems to be about right for Vadi's recommended length, that being floor to armpit. He wouldn't like the pommel though, but plain practicality doesn't seem to be the goal here. Such a sword probably wouldn't be combined with a shield though, but perhaps it could work for a cavalry sword.
http://hroarr.com/longswords-and-their-data/
http://hroarr.com/how-long-should-a-longsword-be/
>>44920438
One sure as fuck does.
DEUS VULT!
>>44921947
I can make out some words there.
What does the rest say?
>>44921850
>And some of the longest actually used (as in not ceremonial) swords were swords such as the zweihander, which cap out at under six feet, even taking into consideration the hilt, the blade would be much less).
Not every "zweihander" was ceremonial, no. They come in fighting flavour too. As for the length, LRK6965 (Royal Armoury in Stockholm) sits around three inches past six feet, and being described as "Brunnswick type" I'd hold it for likely that it's of the "zweiahander" style. And with there being much longer swords than six feet in existence (here's a modern copy of one, presumable ceremonial, but then again, think of it as an all-metal spear and it could work) it hardly seems impossible for them to have made a two-hander in such a style of a greater length than six feet.
>>44921850
>, and most historical sword fighting we know isn't really all that similar to how it was probably actually done, as the whole thing has been steeped in mythology and the study of it has typically had somewhat poor scientific rigor (not just today, but going back hundreds of years)
>so anyway it doesn't matter, but I don't think people ever typically fought with swords that were six feet long AT THE BLADE
I think the research is bad, so I don't have to go and look it up. Here's what I think, and if you don't agree then that's just like your opinion man.
![7db[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/0pph6aF.gif "7db[1].gif")
>>44921747
Would you prefer the female antipaladin to decisively defeat the male paladin and drag him back to her dark tower where she spends years corrupting him, lewdly trying and failing to strip away the last remnants of virtue, bullying him over the fact that while his mind resists his body is honest about his desires?
>>44922225
I mean, yeah
>>44922088
Even if accurate, because there exists one 6'3" sword, that doesn't make it a longsword, especially when we agree thats pretty much approaching the edge of what was used, and a larger sword classification exists (great sword), was really the point I was trying to actually make.
Also the original guy I responded to was saying a longsword would have a BLADE LENGTH of 5 to 6 feet, which... I don't have anything particularly to say about that except that I don't think thats true at all.
Furthermore, I agree with you, and I just meant that a zweihander would be amongst the longest swords used in combat, and that longer swords were typically ceremonial.
In any event what you posted wouldn't be used one or two handed, and we probably wouldn't call it a longsword.
>>44922142
I just meant do as thou wilt, but I highly doubt many people fought with 5-6 foot length BLADES, plus the length of the hilt.
>>44922142
>going back centuries
>Have written manuals since at least the late 15th century.
>As in actually written instructions.
We may not have a ton for Arming Swords or earlier, but in the Late Medieval and throughout the modern era (until about a century ago) we've had quite a bit of recoding of fighting.
Then again D&D has always been wonky. Longsword are Arming Swords, Bastard Swords are Longswords, and we all know what greatswords are. But damn if we know what short Swords are supposed to be.
>>44922261
5' maybe, due to the fact that there are nearly 4' rapiers out there. I think part of the problem lies with people thinking long always equals heavy (and not sword heavy, but the ridiculous 100 lb zweihanders and shit like that).
Then again people are idiots about shit like half-swording, so that's expected.
>>44922487
I've always bought the argument that adventurers are somewhat superhuman anyway and that you might need a bigger sword to deal with bigger monsters, but no one really writes about that ever.
So I don't know how much a bigger sword even helps anyway.
Also I've always been curious how much thickness affects a swords capacity to cut through stuff, but never researched that. Like a lot of people draw fantasy swords are super thick, when it seems that would just give it more opportunity to get stuck.
And I agree with you on the heaviness aspect of people discussing swords online. They're very light and well balanced. Though if a sword is taller than you, idk how well you'll be able to swing it just because of how far out some of the weight will be distributed.
>>44920438
>make lieutenants for the BBEG that are more or less mirror opposites of the players
>they might use different weapons and items or have some different skills, but they're the same class (or an antipaladin in the case of the paladin) and level and about the same stats
>find an excuse before the final battle with the BBEG for each player to fight their counterpart in a duel to the death
>if the PCs die, their evil versions feel regret and turn on the BBEG with the remaining party members in an attempt at redemption, so the players can play as them for the last battle
Good idea, or bad idea?
>>44922546
Depends on where the PoB is. Plus as mentioned larger swords had a tendency towards making them weird spears (eg half-swording).
Also that shit can tell you about a sword's purpose. Even if it has a point, if it has a PoB well away from the hand, it's a choppy fucker.
>>44922648
>find an excuse before the final battle with the BBEG for each player to fight their counterpart in a duel to the death
>if the PCs die, their evil versions feel regret and turn on the BBEG with the remaining party members in an attempt at redemption, so the players can play as them for the last battle
These parts suck.
It would feel forced to make each player "1v1 me faget". I would also be mad if my character died in such a scenario, and I had to play as a character I didn't make.
Try to find more unique ways to make them clash with their opposites. Maybe one might be a general for the BBEG. Another is a rival of a player. Another is just a conman trying to cash in on the player's hard work. There are so many ways you can implement these characters into the story, but having each character basically repeat the same events for every player would get stale.
>>44920438
>>44920438
Yes.
And while we're at it, sufficiently energetic waves of holy energy can spontaneously convert into an Paladin-Antipaladin pair, a Warrior can decay into a Paladin and a halfling Rogue and PCs are held together inside the plot by the Strong Rockular Force.
>>44923234
>Strong Rockular Force
sensiblechuckle.jpg
>>44922674
The PoB matters, but don't focus on it over much. Rotational nodes, rotational inertia...
>>44923234
>>44920438
Yes, and the reaction releases a burst of EM radiation and a True Neutrino.
/tg/ science is the best kind of science
>>44926195
>>44920438
no but if they fuck then a Mary Sue is born!
>>44921677
> Paladin on Antipaladin
> Consent is recommended but not required.
> Paladin is the one doing the raping
Huh.
They make generic true neutral fighter babbys.
>>44927237
Come on, they both would have high Charisma. You know they'd both tease each other about being able to screw the other to their side before settling down to prove it.
>>44926218
But if I don't exist, how can Ifeel my sins crawling on my back?
>>44928572
Ironically, they're both good enough that they convert each other so that the Paladin is now an Antipaladin and the Antipaladin is now a Paladin.
>>44921677
>>44927237
>Young, low level antipaladin teen, just starting out in his service to his dark gods begins his reign of terror
>And after a few weeks runs into high level MILF paladin
>It was a short fight, the sheer power of her holy aura leaving him stunned and open for a quick smite
>To his amazement, he lives through it, in fact, despite the blow being powerful enough to not only leave him knocked on his back and seeing stars but disintegrate the entire front half of his armor, he seems to be unharmed
>As his vision clears the first thing he sees is the paladin straddling him, smirking down at his prone form
>Before he has a chance to do anything, an odd clink brings his attention to her waist, and to his shock he sees that she's removed her crotchplate, his eyes following as she slowly lowers herself
>He's whole body tenses as an agonizingly pleasurable burning engulfs his member as her flesh does, the intense holy energy coming from deep within trying to purify him rouses him as he begins struggling with all his might to force her off
>She in turn simply grabs his hands, intertwining his fingers with her own and slowly forces them down to the ground
>In a move of desperation he tries to channel his unholy power, only to cry out as she channels her power in turn, letting her innate holiness overwhelm him once more
>As he lies there, she leans in, letting him feel her sweet breath before her lips meet his
>Her tongue probes his mouth as she begins rocking her hips, letting her aura flare in time
>With each thrust, her aura drowns out his as another wave of burning pleasure engulfs his body, his will getting weaker and weaker and his own aura rebounds just a little bit smaller
1/2
>>44928979
>Slowly but inevitable she grinds him down, her strength, her aura, her hips, and her tongue all working together to wear him down as she keeps their bodies pressed together, forcefully purifying every aspect of his being as she gently milks and purifies his seed, refusing to stop until he's a whimpering shell without a drop of evil or cum left
>Three weeks later the paladin looks over her new convert
>His flushed face lets her know all she needs about what he thinks of his "armor"
>She assures him that anything that could get through enchantments that powerful wouldn't even be slowed down by fullplate, those tiny strips of metal offer better protection than anything he's ever worn
>Besides, she'll do all the work, all he has to look pretty and keep her motivated
>Ignoring any further protests she grabs his exposed ass, pulls him in close, and kisses the mark of atonement on his forehead
2/2
>>44928979
>>44928994
Why you do this, anon. I didn't want to fap.
>>44928979
Is it bad that I stopped at 'antipaladin teen' and just started imagining a gang punk with a vaguely knightly look?
>>44922225
this is why we should be allowed to fuck our squires
to inoculate them from heathen single women of 30 years in age or older
>>44929049
Because a MILF paladin using her holy power to mindbreak an evil young man/shota before lovingly, yet forcefully rebuilding him as a pure qt fuckboy squire is too hot to pass up?
>>44929135
I was actually thinking the same thing, but worried about going overboard if I included that
>>44929140
Only the MILF and musclegirl paladins though, right?
>>44929219
yah sure
>>44929219
Punkish gangsters with knightly trappings is always a wonderful thing. It probably wouldn't have gone well with the lewd story, but...
Just imagine it - leather coat over a breastplate smeared with factory grease to hide its shine. The leather coat has spikes in it, the breastplate is crude iron. A helmet with a slit in the top to make a crest out of a mohawk. Gang-color heraldry. A chain hanging at the hip leaves a space to hang a cruel-looking mass-produced sword from.
>>44928979
And here come the "ladyknight, bully the healer" faggots again.
>>44929491
I can dig it
>>44929219
Personally I'd have gone for an older anti-paladin whose grief over the loss of his family was what set him on the downward spiral but falling in love with the paladin is what made him seek atonement.Yes, there's still the grinding him down scene but it's a bit more evenly contested, if you know what I mean.
>>44920438
No, they reach a ph of 7.0 and become True Neutral
>>44929255
Yay
>>44929491
Are you me? That is near exactly what I was thinking for the anti-paladin
>>44929690
While I do enjoy that, this is just regular femdom
>>44929804
Personally older men aren't my thing, but in a longer fic I probably would've tried to do more characterization and that's a pretty good oneAlso I am not confident in my ability to write fights or one side does not completely dominate the other
>>44929804
I like the idea of an antipaladin becoming too strongly devoted to a single ideal - instead of being able to be merciful and consider all the angles, he could only view things in a very linear way.
>>44929934
I'm probably not you, but I'm glad you have good taste.
I like femdom or the other way around well enough, but I tend to prefer things more or less equal and lovey dovey. You know that 90s movie, with the ghost guy just enjoying being able to touch his wife? I like it like that.
>>44920438
they annihilate, but due to super symmetry fuckery, they'll leave behind a little tiny paladin baby. Time to complete the annihilation is approximately nine months.
>>44931087
>I like femdom or the other way around well enough, but I tend to prefer things more or less equal and lovey dovey.
Barring the inclusion of certain fetishes, I like lovey, but definite power differences
>You know that 90s movie, with the ghost guy just enjoying being able to touch his wife?
Know what you're talking about but never seen it, it good?
>>44933825
Yes. Kind of cheesy in a 90s way, but it hits you kind of hard in the feels at points.
>>44920438
No, theyhave violent hatesex
>>44921733
But anon, ever thought of the male version of it as only pauldron, tasset, gauntlets and a pair of boots?
>>44935273
Oh come on, it wouldn't be that crude. It's still based off of a school uniform.
Basically, you gotta go back to the 1930s when it was still cool for young guys to show off their calves. We're talking shorts, dress shirt, tie, and with the gauntlets and boots and pauldrons all over that.
>>44928979
>>44928994
Muhheart
>>44935333
>Basically, you gotta go back to the 1930s when it was still cool for young guys to show off their calves.
Where the hell do you live where it isn't a thing? Wisconsin? Canada?
>>44920438
Yes, so be careful when handling your *aladins. The explosion can be prevented by having a Neutraladin added into the mix - best keep one handy.
>>44928826
Well, of course. Conservation of alignment applies.
>>44920438
Hot Lawful Dickings.
>>44920790
Did you mistake paint chips for breakfast cereal today, anon?
>>44928979
>>44928994
Damnit boner, I thought we had a deal.
>>44921677
I feel like in the paladins case it is required
But yes its always more fun when the paladin gives consent
The Pope lives in italy, so it's safe to assume that he fairly frequently eats pasta.
Historically, a number of Antipopes arose across Europe - would they have largely subsisted on antipasta?
>>44936761
>>44920438
>opposing deity magic's react violently in contact with one another
>smite against smite causes full on explosions
>even just basic attacks colliding cause body breaking shockwaves
>the min con/str requirements for the classes are so they don't get incapped instantly
>high level fights resulting in more fireworks than a Michael Bay movie
I didn't realise how much I wanted this.
>>44920790
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
SCA here, read these entire websites. And then go fuck yourself.
http://www.oakeshott.org/home.html
www.thearma.org/terms4.htm
>>44935273
>Not GLORIOUS SOLAR BANANA HAMMOCK
>>44922648
I'll do you one better: the anti-party are literal evil clones of the party constructed by Dark Magicks the BBEG discovered, only they're all genderbent versions of their respective party members.
Because everyone wants to fuck their genderbent clone
>>44940288
What is the evil genderbent clone of the healslut like?
>>44942063
Slapbitch.
>>44942063
One who specializes in buffing her allies by hurting them. Making them fight harder by boiling their blood and the like.
Besides, we all know healsluts are just a shit tier meme spouted by trapfags
>>44942129
I am not familiar with the term but your pic paints a pretty good picture
>>44920438
Paladin'spenisexplodes withsperminto antipaladin'svagoo.
>>44945093
How does OPs paladin hide it?
Don't saytucking.
>>44945250
Bag of holding
>>44920790
This is so bullshit it's not even funny.
The majority of what fantasy RPGs call "short" swords are actually the length of what in the real world we call a longsword, while swords the length of fantasy long swords simply do not exist, because they would be too unwieldy in any combat situation even if two-handed by an ogre.
What so many people seen to spectacularly ignore is that steel is pretty fucking heavy, even when it's just a thin blade.
No, they fuck.
>>44920790
>longsword
>5 to 6 feet
>characterized as having a cruciform hilt with a grip for two-handed use (around 16 to 28 cm (6 to 11 in)) and a straight double-edged blade of around 85 to 110 cm (33 to 43 in)
Anything bigger than 5 feet was a greatsword. The only difference between longsword, arming sword and bastard sword was handle length.
>>44928979
>>44928994
>>44947027
Who tops though?
>>44948956
The one with the bigger dick.
>>44920790
I can't tell if this is satire or retardation.
It hit points too precisely to be retardation, but this is also the type of shit retards spew.
>>44921733
>Coming from Japan
Have you never heard of Conan the Barbarian or any fantasy shit in the last 40 years?
