Boss, I waz finkin'... how do dem humie boyz decide who'z da boss? Dem's all da same size 'cept for dem marine boyz, and dey's not da bosses of all humies. It just don't make no sense.
Well, the Emperor IS the biggest humie.
And the Primarchs are both the biggest Marines and the leaders.
So... size, still?
Also, they make up for height disadvantages with pauldrons and hats.
Humie bosses all wear bright gubbinz.
wot about dem pointy ears? how do they decide?
>>44902049
Yea, an whut about em greyskinz?
>>44902049
they'z talk n talk til one is left stil awake
>>44902234
as for them greyskinz they got theze eethherials I thinks thatz wut they call themselvez iz in charge
>>44901954
Hatz
Umiez follow da biggest hat.
>>44902234
Da weakest and da runtiest greyskins get to be da boss. Ta be a greyskin boss, ya gotta be a worthless grot in a dress who'z cannot even lift a choppa and just stands about all day yappin' about big an' good fings. Seems ta me like like da whole lot of 'em are beggin' fer a good stompin', but dat's how it iz.
>>44901996
>hats and pouldrons
>thread
>>44902628
I'm thinking now. Usually not a good thing.
Do grots get bigger by fightan an winnin?
>>44901996
>>44902531
Oi 'ave nevah seen da Emperah wi' a propah hat on.
>>44902765
Wot'z diz about grotz winnin'?
>>44902049
Dem spikey pointy ears or dem boring pointy ears? Da spikey unez pick da spikeyest.
Nah nah, youz gottit all wrong.
Da greyskinz wif da biggest stiks are da boss.
Lookit ere.
Da yellow gitz only got shootas.
Da birdies get small shootas.
Da meks get bigga shootas.
Da white gitz haf shootas AN STIKS.
But da wimpy greyskins haf a GIANT stik, somtiemz a choppa wif the stik.
>>44902765
OF CORSE NOT, YA GIT! Now quit mucking about wit dat finkin´stuff and do somefing propa Orky!
Wot bout dem Shiny Green Skinny Boyz?
How dey decide whoz boss?
>>44902933
Dis wun getz it.
>>44902933
>>44903298
You'z neva seen da Empera at all ya git. He neva shows up fer a good fight an' just sends dem runty humies to do it.
>>44903327
Wot, ya nevah took a 'umie town? Oi've seen pictions ov 'im, ya grot-minded git.
>>44903327
>neva seen da Empera
>Empra neva fight.
>Wat kinda Empra nevah fight?
>mfw
>>44903404
An' how's dem humies gonna know wut he looks like, huh? Dey'z neva seen him eitha. Dem's just finkin' he oughta be right big cuz he's da boss, so dat's what they make him look like.
>>44903529
Well iv each humie place as got a different pic maybe it means e can luk like whateva he wants to? Maby we've zeen em before and just don' now it. Eez a sneaky git e iz
>>44903504
Oi've 'eard 'e's alwayz scrappin wif dem spoiky 'umies and dose spoikey gubbinz dey got wif 'em. Oi say dat'z coz 'e's afraid ov bein' krumped but Oi could be wrong Oi guess.
>>44903529
But if dey need big 'ats to be da boss, 'ov come da Big Boss dun got one, ey? Dot dun make no sense.
>>44902933
Shut it, Greenskin.
My hat was made of pure shiny, it let me see in the dark and could blind the fools that stared at it for too long. Where's your Gork and Mork now?
>>44903504
da Empra got zogged proper good by Boss Horuz but killed em ded
now da empra iz stukk inna shiny killa khan dat cant move and dey ave to feed em weird boyz every day to keep em from zogging everythin
>>44903704
You called?
>>44903741
Wat da zog? Wat's a killa kan for if ya can't move it? Why'z nobody krumped him yet while he'z stuck dere and become da new boss?
>>44903704
Uh, Oi dunno, probably scrappin' wif sumthin' an' winnin'. 'o iz you anywayz? Iz ya lookin' fer a scrap?
>>44903741
Killah kan dat can't move? But den wot'z da point?
>>44903788
Mebbe dey left 'im somewhere coz 'e wuz so bloody useless an' den forgot where it wuz, harr harr!
>>44901954
>Boss, I waz finkin'
Dat wuz where it all went wrong, really.
>>44903788
>>44903790
Da kan'z REAL big
>>44903885
'ow big?
>>44903768
Yeah, where have you been you git? You and your brother said you were up for a game of inter-dimension rugby tonight, we've been waiting you lazy asses for the past hour.
>>44903788
My throne can zap demons, and guide my lads through space so they get to war in time. It's powered by a giant grinder full of human weirdboys. If you don't think that's the tightest shit then get out of my glorious face.
>>44903788
>>44903790
shaddap and listen ya stupid gitz fore I crump ya and ill tell ya
da khan workz like a giant weird stikk, he uses it to crump chaos boyz in da warp, like a never ending scrap, and one day, dat kill khans gonna zog up, and den he'll come back wit lods of dakka for a right proppa waagh.
>>44902718
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war.... and pauldrons
>>44903949
But if da scrap wif da spoikey gitz nevah endz, 'ow'z 'e gonna come back an' scrap wif us orkz?
>>44904046
ez so orky, he can crump us ere' and da spoikiez in da warp at da same time!
Ding is, he thinks de're a bigga threat dan us! We need to get a roight proppa waagh going and den we get to foight.
>>44904115
Well Oi sayz yer a git and dot yer only green on da out-side!
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>44904175
Evah bin shot to bitz? Youz bout to find out!
Rolled 2 (1d100)
>>44904367
Lemme join in boyz!
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>44904367
BITZ IS WOT YER GONNA NEED TA WALK ONCE OI'M DONE WIF YA! WAAAAGH!
>>44904408
Oi 'ave a look at diz git.
We are related to...this?
Ugh, impossible!
WE are the chosen of the Old Ones!
>>44904563
Sounds like the pointy 'eaded gitz need a good stompin'
>>44904563
No 'elm an' no pauldrons. Iz dis a boy or a big boss?
>>44904857
We'z should stomp da whole lotta 'em sometime. Dere's only a few of 'em so we'z should be done right quick.
Oi boyz, 'ow come dem purple kaos gits are always slamm' inta each udda wit their danglin' bits?
>>44903898
roight big mate
DA GOBBO REVOLUSHUN IS COMIN, JUST YOU WAIT
>>44904910
Wot?
>>44904900
Dey'z roight tricky to foind. Dey'z ded kunnin' loike dat.
>>44904910
Oi fink its trainin' cuz dey are right puny like. Dey is real dedicated to it too.
>>44905025
Wut'z a gobbo s'posed ta be? Just get back to clearin' dem minefields ya worthless grot.
Orks stole bits of Imperial language and modeled their technology of it since probably at least the dark ages.
Any speculation on what the Krorks were like when it was mostly Eldar and Necron to fight?
They'd been speaking in parody Eldar (since Necron don't even talk) and using looted eldar and necron tech.
Oi you gitz! Ye're all in me crew now dat yer last boss got krumped by dem "inkwizishun snipers"
>>44905851
Righto boss!
>>44905061
Day do it all da tim.
>>44905149
Yu tink dat weez shud do it? Ya know, for da trainin.
Rolled 66829723912 (1d100000000000)
Sorry ladz, oi'z testin' me new ultramultimegadakkashoota! It'z got more barrels dan I can count, an' each bullet 'splodes! Jus' stay still, will ya?!
>>44906138
Do wot?
>>44906474
Da slammin wit da dingling bits!
>>44906138
Nah, deys been doin' it for ages but dey still puny, so it cant be any good trainin'. We's don't have any danglin' bits neither.
>>44906539
Wot, loike slappin'?
>>44906575
Oi finks he means loik what we uze taw pee wit! But rammen dem togeda juss souns loik a plan fer a pinchin' down dere. Not even a proppa foight!
>>44906575
>>44907028
Sounds loike dey're just muckin' about.
>>44903949
>never ending scrap
I like da sound'a dat.
>>44904563
See dis?Imma stick you wif it.
>>44903949
>>44908485
He's always up fer a fight but hez propa serious like a goff but more dan a goff.
>>44909019
Dot'z a lotta text.
>>44909089
Iz alright gobbajaw, I knowz yer not good wif readin'.
>>44909124
Readin' iz fer gitz.
>>44901954
I think it has something to do with there hats
Presumably you crump the git with the best hat and take comand
>>44909294
Why iz you talkin' loik a ponce?
>>44901954
Den there'z the humies wif big chests but for some reason they ain't in charge even though they'z bigga. I think they'z a secret weapon cuz you's can't just kick dem in the goolies like a normal humie.
>>44902933
>Oi 'ave nevah seen da Emperah wi' a propah hat on.
That's how big his hat is!
>>44904910
>Oi boyz, 'ow come dem purple kaos gits are always slamm' inta each udda wit their danglin' bits?
We has squishy bits for crumping, like this!
>>44906138
>Yu tink dat weez shud do it? Ya know, for da trainin.
YES, I can get you some squishy bits too!
>>44909614
You'z just not kickin' 'ard enuff.
>>44909642
Dat'z good idea, glad I thorta it! Where'z me metal stompin' shoes?
>>44909681
Oi think dere'z a song in dere.
DESE BOOTZ IZ MADE FOR STOMPIN'!
>>44909019
>emperor
>remote and ancient power
>motivates his long-suffering followers to take on irrational and pointless tasks
They're not wrong there.
>>44909768
AND DAT'S JUS' WOT DEY'LL DO
>>44910193
ONE OV DESE DAYZ DESE BOOTZ
>>44909624
>tfw you will never ever win a Gunpla tournament with an Emprah Gundam
>>44910319
GUN' STOMP ALL OVAH YA
>>44906189
still not enuff dakka
>>44909768
>>44910193
>>44910319
>>44911355
nevah change boyz
>>44909019
>black crussade closes on to terra
>suddenly gork and mork appear to help the emprah fight chaos
>he was busy foighting with them for funs the last 10K years to befriend them.
>>44911355
DAKKA DAKKA KRUMP
DAKKA DAKKA KRUMP KRUMP
>>44903327
Ya know da big metal fingz they sometimes use?
I've 'eard doze are da Emprah. Or 'iz body. And doze are ded massif.
>>44915821
U WOT, dos are just humie gargants ya git.
Wanta let ya boyz know yer all propa Orksies an' i wund't be da same witout ya
>>44901954
>how do dem humie boyz decide who'z da boss?
Literal dick measuring contests. biggest gets to be da boss. Imperial children dread penis inspection day.
>>44901996
>>44909421
E´must be a Blood Axe git.
>>44911355
OI!
>>44901954
>Boss, I waz finkin'
Is you a Mekboi? No? Then get busy shootin or get busy dyin
>>44915938
Is you one of dem hipin' and hopsin' boys?
Get back out there and get back to crumpin' ya posing good fer nottin' git!
>>44902933
Oi! Àng about! Da Emphra is wired up in `dis big shiny killa kan chair, right? Well, a propa`kan has wires to yur èad, right? So, if this big shiny killa kan chair is wired to ìs èad then... then da big shiny killa kan chair IS ìz hat! Zog me ! It all makes sense! THAT´S why è da humie Boss! Da biggest hat in da galaxy!
>>44915978
'EY, i tink dis gitz got sumthin' 'ere!
Boyz, I tink I juzt come up wit da bezt new invenshun yet! Boyz, listen up, kuz dis mite be zoggin genius.
An ork.
But it's nuthin but teef.
>>44916006
'ow'd it get to where da krumpin's at?
>>44916010
buy a warbike.
>>44901954
>"Oomans are pink and soft, not tough and green like da Boyz. They’z all the same size too – no big ’uns or little ’uns, so they’z always arguing about who’s in charge, ’cos there’s no way of telling ’cept fer badges an’ ooniforms and fings. Anuvver fing – when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, ’e says “I’m very speshul so’z you gotta worship me”, or “I know summink wot you lot don’t know, so yer better lissen good”. Da funny fing is, arf of ’em believe it and da over arf don’t, so ’e ’as to hit ’em all anyway or run fer it. Wot a lot of mukkin’ about if yer asks me. An’ while they’z all arguin’ wiv each other over who’s da boss, da Orks can sneak up an’ clobber da lot."
>>44902765
According to Gorkamorka, yes:
>Like Orks, Gretchin who are mean, aggressive, surly and looking for a fight will increase in size, though at a much reduced rate. For the Grots working in Mektown and running with the mobs, the brutal repression by the Slavers and regular beatings ensure that no matter how experienced a Grot gets, he’ll always be a very pale shadow of an Ork. Rebel Grots, on the other hand, are positively encouraged to get angry and mean and consequently can get tougher than their ‘tamed’ cousins.
Pic related, a Rebel Grot Head Honcho in the middle, their equivalent to a Nob.
>>44916019
Youz a git, but i likes ya.
>>44916026
IZ TOLD YA DA RED GOBBO WAS GUNNA MAKE US GROTS TUFFA AND BIGGA! YU DOM ORKZ DONT KNOW WATZ COMIN!
>>44916057
'Ow'd you get outta da drops ya stoopid grot!? Get back in der 'n' find be a fat eatin' squig 'fore i krump ya!
>>44915793
Wheez will
Wheez will
CHOPP ya!
Blood on yer face
Ya big diz grace.
>>44916288
If 'es got blud on 'es face, den 'ows he diz-graze-full? Couse dats roit and propa dat iz!
>>44916308
It is hiz blood ya git, not umies!
>>44916321
An' it ain't green!
Hurr hurr, 'ave you lot noticed dot 'umies are all slow until ya put sum ov dere red blood on de outside, an' den dey can't stop runnin' fast?
>>44905327
Eldars were makineg weapons for Krorks with their warpbone material or something,
>>44905327
They'd probably just speak Orkish, like da Beast apparently does in those shitty recent novels. The Eldar language is apparently insanely complex and has like 17 different words for each concept depending on the mood, situation, social status, what you had for breakfast, etc.
>>44901996
>>44903327
>>44903504
>>44903529
Oi, ye gettin it all wrung 'ere! Da Emprah git aint no ordinary boss. He's da Boss! Look, every time we kurmp some of tho's 'umies git, they still come back fer more. Sceramin 'bout that Empra git and all. And when we krump thoes gitz good, and then go scrap ther citys derz alwayz sullz and otha gubbins for dis Empra git oi? Cuz da Emprah ain no ordinary boss. He's 'umie god of good ol' war! Senin' thos 'umiest fer proppa fight when they can't find one 'emslefs cuz they weak and pink and no orky at all. He's dakkind in dis wyrd wapr thing so he can't come and fight with his 'umies but he's still zogging in warp, fightin thoes kayoz gitz an their wyrd deamon things. Hez like Gork 'n' Mork but fer 'umies. Ye get it now? And if most of dem humiez (expect that bigger and spikier) fight fer him he'z gotta be a really big git.
>>44917027
Wurks on Orkses too.
http://web.archive.org/web/20070320053717/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/orks/orks4.htm
>“We got some proper fightin’ in this time ladz! There’s piles of ded Humies out there all burnin’ up a treat and their fillin’ up the sky wiv black smoke which is a lot better than that zoggin’ whirly fing wiv faces in it. We had some fights wiv da Space Morons, fights wot the ladz wot fought on Armourgeddem sez was even better than the old days. And da Meks is happy playin’ wiv all da new scrap comin’ in. It’s good to be green, innit?
>Wot else… oh yeah da tellyporta. Da Humies really don’t like us nikkin’ their cities bit by bit and killin’ wots left. Ol’ Gabgrat is havin’ da time of his life breakin’ stuff and his ladz reckon he’s the Prophet o’ Gork or sumfing. There’s a lot of ’em, so I ain’t arguin’. But the Humies reckon they can take ’em, so they send in their Spaceboyz wiv their stupid coloured armour. Hundreds of ’em came outta da sky in dese big fings like metal versions of da roks wot Ghazghkull used on Armourgeddem. Zoggin’ copycats, wot’s wrong wiv a tank eh?
>Anyways each one of dese drop-fings has a mob of Humies or a Dred inside it, and da funny fing is, they aim fer Verdia, in da middle of Gabgrat’s armies! No wonder dey calls ’em Space Morons. But those red ’uns, Bleedin’ Hearts or sumfink, they know howta fight, especially da black ones. Thrukk reckons one of ’em bit out his froat and tried to drink his blud! Must be short of good beer up in orbit and ded firsty. Anyways they gave a good fight alright, blud and lumpsa flesh everywhere – soon even us greenskins woz wearin’ red. Makes yer go faster, dunnit. Maybe dat’s why some of da ladz went fer a bit of a run.
>So it’s been a good week’s fightin’, lads. Keep up da hard work and we’ll show Ghazghkull’s lot they don’t know nuffin about wreckin’ worlds!”
>>44901954
Dim u knowz that they have a orkz warboss in charge of them.
Why'z the humies own so many planets if dey's all so weak and small, huh? Why haven't we krumped da whole lot of 'em yet? Mebbe ol' Ghazghkull is right and da boyz dunno what dem's doing no more.
>>44917669
An' on 'ow many of dem planets can a boy 'ave a good scrap, eh? Stoopid 'umies 'ave tonz ov planets coz dey're muckin' about wif useless stuffs tryin' ta match us orkz, instead ov just doin' wot we're doin'.
>>44917928
You'z a grot if youz can't find a fight anywhere.
>>44917980
You'z a git if ya settle wif just any foight.
>>44917928
Orks, why do you insist on using such sexist terminology to describe your species? As a race of sentient asexual fungus, must you really subscribe to such a masculinist worldview where you describe yourselves as "boyz"?
>>44918009
Youz a grot.
>>44918009
Da zog?
I can't read a goddamn single post in this entire thread
>>44918067
"Read" iz dat sumfing humies do wiff dere paper blocks?
>>44918067
da zog is readin' s'posed to be?
>>44902628
Didn't Aun'Shi cut a Warboss in half with his Honour Blade, and then pretty much kill the entire attacking Ork force by himself
>>44903768
iz you cunnin brutality or brutal cunnin cuz me and sum boys got confused bout that
>>44918913
Nah, gettin' chopped by sum runty greyskin don't sound like da boyz. Dat's just dem grey boyz makin' fings up.
>>44918067
Das becuz ya jus' not as artikyalit as us, ya zoggin' humie.
>>44919023
It's obviously onnadem metalboyz
>>44918761
Summink fer humies and humie-luvverz.
>>44919036
dem's real brutally cunnin' boyz. Or are they cunnin' brutal?
>>44919030
Da space marinez or da lit'l ones in da red capes?
>>44919089
they is brutal cunnin' ain't they cuz they bein cunnin in a brutal way ya git.
>>44919168
Da green and skeletonny ones.
>>44919182
Oh doz ones! Dey don't 'ave much ta say usually. Even when deys bein' torn apart.
Mabye iz da small 'eads. Deys jus' not smart 'noff ta feel pain. Zame thin' goz for dem space marinez, in my opinyn'.
>>44919036
Now I want to run kommandos. If only they weren't a liability.
>>44915840
Dat's wot I said!
Da gargantz are bodies fer gork'n'mork ya grot!
>>44919297
they get stealth, infiltrate, and move through cover for the same price as 'ard boys, which are still overpriced. It could be possible though to park them in some ruins at the beginning of the game and charge out at something later on.
Hell if you really feel like dumping the points they can even take a couple special weapons or a PK nob
>>44919694
And dey'z ded killy
>>44904910
I fink it's a way to make 'em tougha. Dey's always saying dey's gettin' 'ard when dey's doing that, even tho dey's wearin' less dan before.
>>44920808
Maybe dey's tryin' ta smooth dey fleshy bits into 'ard bits. dat's wha' me finks.
>>44921045
No you gitz dat's 'ow dey make more 'umies. S'not right proppa orky, though.
>>44921411
but dem spikey 'oomies ain't makin' more 'oomies wif it. Dere's somefin wrong 'ere.
>>44921612
Watsnik, it looks loik we'z got ourselves a kase!
>>44921612
Dat's just what ya get from a buncha gitz who'z wearin' all purple. Only humies tryin' ta keep secrets wud be dat sneaky.
>>44921806
Sherlork
>>44922371
Sherlork Gonnes and his stalwart companion, painboy Watsnik.
>>44909019
Soooo, basically, shared psychic field of Orks kinda believing that Emperor is looking after humans is what keeps him up there?
>>44919171
Nah, you'z be rong dere ya git! Dey be cunnin' brutal cuz deyz be zoggin purple 'n only da most cunnin' orks kan do dat!
>>44922527
Dis is an ork board, go back ta yer pointy-headed git cont- contain- yer zoggin' board!
Nice thread you chaps have here.
I'll just be taking it now.
>>44924690
Ya zoggin' wat mate? Ya fink ya can jess' stroll in 'ere and take our zoggin' threa'? 'e'll krump ya, mate.
>>44924690
>the thread is now a Baneblade
>>44924690
Back away, xenos scum. This thread was voluntarily gifted to our chapter.
>>44925238
oy! you nicked this thread from us ya red gits!
>>44918009
>>44915978
Nah, that's just his Chair, the Hat is what they put OVER it.
>>44916006
>An ork.
>But it's nuthin but teef.
I think the Tyranids beat you to it...
Bumpin' fer da WAAAAAGH!!!
>>44901954
Why the hell was you finkin' again?
>>44925238
>>44924690
Iz respekt yer roit ta say it, but I'l also krump yer fer it!
>>44924811
Oi, get me a whole lotta purple! I gotz an idea for da trukks...
>>44904563
Once a slave to a race of frogs, always a slave to a race of frogs.
>>44933114
Humans calling other races slaves? How precious. I do hope your Inquisition does not hear of this little conversation you had with all these scary xenos.
>>44919410
WHY WUD UMIES MAKE A BODY FOR GORK AN MORK YA GIT!?!?!
>>44917258
Oi, wut if Da Emphrah fought Gork N Mork? ho wood win?
>>44936483
Wut kind'a kwestjon's dat!? Gork and Mork beats da 'umie emperoar, den Mork, maybe Gork, krumps da ovver one...Or maybe da ovva way round. Yoo gotta ask one ov da orkologjanz bout dat un.
Da point bitz is dat just loike propa orkz mash da 'umies da godz krump da emperoar
>realizes an agent of slanesh just turned up
Sir, You want me to get the chainsword so at least we're fightin while fuckin? Purge through penetration?
>>44937241
Wot?
>>44937339
If were going to die To demons, knife-ears and orcs id rather die with both my swords unsheathed sir.
>>44937417
'Ey boss, one o' dose 'umies got inna camp again.
>>44919410
>prize intelligence and initiative
>initiative 2
How quantify truly big
Yes there big physically but consider that big in deed and character much greater
This brings into realm of ontological rumination but to be big doesn't necessarily follow that big inherently good in itself
it becomes epistemic drudgery regarding big. Biggest does exist in so much that varying bigness follows that minute amount of bigness defines who biggest but problem becomes nightmare of aggregation to point where water becomes muddied. As such consider biggest orc. Paradoxically there always be bigger orc than him, somewhere, at sometime. Compound that with bigness of character and we turn to more metaphysical bargaining
Big not always mean big as we understand but simply illumination on two sides, bigness of deed and bigness of self. Biggest would have both qualities, but still not necessarily be biggest in size, though this ideal, it impossible to nail down truly regarding definite terms unless it absolute definite.
>>44937934
You'z a humie git. Da biggest Ork is da Ork dat can stomp all da otha boyz 'til dey'z all doin' like he sez.
