Share stories or just terrible characteristics of DMs you've played with. And share art work or pics of what you think a shitty DM is. Do it for fun. Pic I made relates to my bad DM makes us roll for fucking everything.
>Once made me roll to see if it was raining outside...
>>44733870
>Once made me roll to see if it was raining outside...
Was your character nearsighted and deaf or something?
>>44734026
Not at all. I was playing a Half-Orc Ranger/Bard
>>44733870
Did it matter if it was raining? Like, were you trying to set fire to the roof as a distraction or something, or was he just wasting time?
>>44734486
We'll at the time we had recovered an enchanted sentient moth, she was hurt and we needed to get her to a druid we knew quickly. He had mentioned about an hour before when we left town that the skies were turning grey and ugly. I wanted to make sure if it had started to rain or not because moths have powder on their wings and all. It was a simple question that honestly I feel should of had a simple answer. I didn't wanna take her out and then the DM get us off guard. He likes doing that.
>>44734026
Not OP, but in my group the weather in any given location, including in an underground cave or on a spaceship is usually asked about, but that's entirely a old running joke just to piss the DM off.
>>44733870
3.5 monsters in a 4e game.
>>44734026
A long, long time ago, we had to do this investigation of a house of a guy who died from some sort of non-obvious magical malady. We're playing DnD 3.0, IIRC.
We split up, search his house. I'm playing the rogue, and I find this weird sigil behind his bed. I have 0 ranks of either Spellcraft or Knowledge arcana, so not-surprisingly, I don't get anything useful other than it glows faintly.
So I call the wizard over, ask him to take a look at it. And then our GM goes
>Make a spot check.
To our wizard. Spawned a huge argument.
This sparked an entire thread of angry shouts of "that GM".
I put my players near a very intelligent hill giant. He started at 9int (which in giant terms is quite a lot), and got his hands on a +4 headband and put his lvl 4 stat advancement into int (he was a level 4 fighter)
They first met him in the woods, a hill giant in full plate, roasting an bear over a fire. They tried to talk to him. He told them he had a long day marching and had no patience for small folk bothering him, and to leave him be to his business. The party paladin detected evil, and it turns out that the Hill Giant was indeed evil. He wasn't doing anything evil, just making dinner, but he was an evil person. The party discussed off in the trees not 100 feet from his camp that they should kill him (had them place themselves on the grid and measured the distance). The giant heard and was like "fuck these humans". After getting his gear back on he charged out of the trees bearing down on one of them. He killed the caster first and took a round to full attack someone else and wound them, and then charged back off into the woods. The players put up a pursuit (stuffing the caster's body into a bag of holding), and got ambushed by the hill giant in a boxed off crevice. The giant TPK'd the party.
In the giant's mind he gave them the opportunity not to put of a pursuit, they did anyway.
My players were fucking pissed. I wanted the giant to be a reoccurring character but they couldn't just leave him alone.
>>44734650
Yeah, that's pretty shitty DMing unless the DM had a reason for it that was later obvious and made sense. If not, shitty DMing.
>>44734651
>Chasing the giant while wounded and the caster is dead.
Real brain trust, that party. Perhaps next time they could try rolling a sleeping dragon over to get at its hoard.
>>44734640
why would you give a shit?
>>44734651
can you stop posting the same story every time one of these threads pop up
>>44737751
It's good for making people mad.
>>44736718
Well how else are you supposed to get the money?
>>44734651
Just.. let it go.
OP here, I have the true story for you.
This sparked an entire orgy of angry climaxes of "that gay GM".
I put my players near a very lewd hill giant. He started at 9inches (which in giant terms is quite a lot), and got his hands on a +4 cockring and put his lvl 4 stat advancement into int (he was a level 4 faggot)
They first met him in the woods, a hill giant in full dominatrix, roasting an “bear” over a fire. They tried to talk to him. He told them he had a long day fudge packing and had no patience for small folk bothering him, and to leave him be to his business. The party lawful stupid detected evil, and it turns out that the Hill Giant was indeed catholic. He wasn't doing anything evil, just making love, but he was an evil person. The party jerked off in the trees not 100 feet from his camp that they should molest him (had them place themselves on the grid and measured their cocks). The giant heard and was like "fuck these humans". After getting his hard on back on he charged out of the trees bearing down on one of them. He to poon town on the caster first and took a round to full jizz on someone else and wound them, and then discharged back off into the woods. The players put up a pursuit (stuffing the caster's ass into a bag of holding), and got ambushed by the hill giant in a boxed off crevice. The giant TPK'd the party.
In the giant's mind he gave them the opportunity not to put of a pursuit, they did anyway.
My players were fucking pissed. I wanted the giant to be a reoccurring faggot but they couldn't just leave him alone.
>>44734651
Once again, a point of "Not how Detect Evil fucking works".
In game
>uses custom setting and never tells us about them
>will not tell us about places we are from and we do not have amnesia
>all characters must be 6'5''+, less than 25 and white with scott/irish features
>all character auto fail checks, saves, lose resistance to fey beauty bullshit in every game
>magic of any form in any system is forbidden to players but will be used constantly against players
>gear is constantly taken away and useless gear given to you
>all unarmed and non armored characters forbidden
>all checks to open mundane locks all but impossible and decent lock picking impossible
>no choice deity change
>you will be captured at least once in the game
>any npc you get fed up with is level 40, 10000bp, a dragon in disguise, oberon in disguise or jesus
>refuses to run anything but dnd and bitches when someone doesnt run it
>has the same character in any and all dnd games, same build ,name and description.
Out of game
>bad talks your game when everyone else loved it
>open admits to fucking over players because he thinks that is how you should dm
>gets pissed when he cant get end game gear at starting level
>mopes when he cant use meta/real world knowledge in game
>always late
>derails the game with stories when not running
I fucking hate him. If two players did not insist that he should be part of the group because he is one of the longest returning members, I would refuse to run for him. I no longer stick around after the game because of the time he brought me a list of everything I got wrong in my game, with "running rogue trader" underlined and circled like 4 times.
>>44734596
Fuck you, Dave.
>>44737725
Incompatible stat blocks. Either it dies really easily or can't be killed. Any saving throw or attack roll was a colossal cluster fuck.
>>44738444
First of all nice trips.
Secondly WHY. What motivates somebody to do this? I don't get how the group can tolerate that shit, have they tried to speak to him about his raging autism?
Lel, did you keep the list? Please post it
pic related
>yfw you read the list
>>44738444
>Brought me a list of everything I got wrong in my game, with "running rogue trader" underlined and circled like 4 times.
The fuck is wrong with Rogue Trader, might I ask?
>>44738550
It's not D&D.
>>44738518
>>44738550
Yeah, part of it was what this guy >>44738569
said.
Other reason ran the gambit of things like not getting bonuses for being unarmored, things wrong with the setting that he "fixed" with headcannon and how he was not allowed to roll up, stat and give exposition on planets without me knowing about them before the game.
They put up with him because he joined them about 26-27 years ago, before I was born and joined the group much later on. He has been like this for at least the time I started playing with them at 13 when my dad started bringing me along.
I always saw him as a liar and someone who just made up stories about one upping people. According to him, he has fucked matrons at whore houses, was strong enough to flip pick up trucks in his youth and stood up to mobsters when he was in his 20's.
When you start factoring in the fact that he was born a cripple and a handful of childhood neurological problems, it just never adds up. He is like that uncle who is always quick to boast about how much of a bad ass he is when no other adult is in the room at christmas.
>>44738444
>If two players did not insist that he should be part of the group because he is one of the longest returning members, I would refuse to run for him.
No part of me will ever have sympathy for you, because you clearly lack the balls to either leave, or kick him from the group.
100% of your experience with that shit player is your fault.
>Hurpadurpa he's a friend! We can't just kick him!
>>44739302
What is living life with the social range of a behaviorally impaired 9th grader like?
>>44739212
>was strong enough to flip pick up trucks in his youth and stood up to mobsters when he was in his 20's.
My father claimed this, too. Despite how he needed the help of a fourteen year old girl to get off his couch, the fat ass.
He also claimed that he was attacked by groups of thugs with knives every week during his youth. That one I can believe, though, because I can think of a lot of people that would be happy to stab him. He's that kind of guy.
>>44739302
He just said the guy has two decades seniority on him. Things add up like that.
>>44739416
Thing is, we live in Florida.
I know the meme that this place is a nightmare but that usually sticks to drug running red necks and larger cities. We are from the damn woods north of Port St. Joe. There is nothing out here except palm trees and alligators.
>>44734640
Why would you play the abomination that is 4E.
>>44734651
>This sparked an entire thread of angry shouts of "that GM".
I was in both of those threads m8.
There was no angry "That GM" shouts, but there was plenty of anons calling you a retard for loudly discussing how to best murder a hill giant while in earshot of it, when it has no interest in killing you, and actively told you to fuck off because he didn't have time to kill you right now.
>>44738444
Dude fuck that, throw him out or quite the group yourself and take all the good players with you. That motherfucker is poisonous and anyone who puts up with that shit is a bitch.
>>44737763
It doesn't make anyone mad, it's just not interesting enough to post multiple times.
>>44739812
Because it's_________fun_______
>>44739407
>shame on you for implying that someone is a spineless pussy for bitching on the internet about some jackoff instead of actually solving the problem.
>shame on you for not living in stoic silence while someone causes you stife that you 100% don't have to put up with.
>Clearly you must be retarded for saying that someone shouldn't put up with autistic bullshit.
Do the rest of the world a favor. Go into your washroom or bathroom. Take out the bleach, open the bleach, and drink all the bleach. If you manage to finish it, open and drink all of your laundry detergent and fabric softener.
>>44739441
>seniority
>that guy's been with that group of 4-6 sniveling, basement-dwelling manchildren for a long time. Better not rock the boat.
How long has it been since they removed your spine surgically?
>>44741781
>>44741857
We got ourselves a tough guy here.
>>44738273
Then how DOES it work?
>>44741978
>anyone who doesn't put up with someone's bullshit is an internet tough guy.
>>44742043
No but anyone who tells someone to commit suicide behind an anonymous image board sure is.
>>44742085
>stop ruining our board poisoning, circle jerk of a thread with your poison.
Ok, I'll stop.
>>44742085
Kill yourself, tumblrina.
I like how my thread went from a That DM to a That Anon thread. I can't have nothing nice...
>>44742250
It is prime Australia shit posting hours, what did you expect?
>>44739812
Not by choice, he didn't know the rules for 3.5 (this is pre 5e) and insisted we play 4e, didn't learn the rules for that either and so it fell apart.
>>44741377
No, it really wasn't. For most enemies we couldn't roll high enough to hit, and we suffered from 'critical success' do whatever syndrome.
Always remember /tg/:
Not gaming at all IS better than gaming with shitty groups.
>>44742514
For you,maybe.
>>44742528
You're a fucking retard or a masochist if you honestly think otherwise.
>>44742549
Did retard replace the word autistic for you fuckers?
>>44734596
>>44738467
I hate you both. Just thought you should know that.
>>44742385
I meant that 4e is fun, not that you had fun with your incompetent, and frankly, retarded sounding DM with his frankenstein of rules.
>>44742578
So you're a retard then.
Got it.
>>44742612
Sick comment, brah.
>>44734640
Oh, wow.
>>44742385
I'm sorry you had a bad experienc Anon.
>>44742250
I'm sorry your thread got derailed. Here I'll share a story. I'm the forever GM so it's gonna be a That Player story instead.
>be gm
>running a superhero game for group
>iron man esque character is played by a guy that is a little off
>have him get into a fight with another guy in a super suit who uses livewire whips, to keep with his character theme.
>fighting in a warehouse full of chemical vats.
That Guy is an agile type of character so is dodging most of the time
>as the player starts to frustrate the villan more, he gets sloppy and starts slicing vats open with his whips, which ignites the chemicals
>fight is really heating up
>that guy immediately stops and tells me to draw a map of the warehouse
>I'm confused but I draw a basic map, showing where main points of importance are in the area
>begins grilling me about exact sizes distances, nature of the chemicals, etc
>tell him I don't know and ask why he needs to no so bad
>tells me the map I drew isn't to scale with the layout he had in his imagination
> tell him it doesn't matter and continue the fight. It ends in a stalemate like I had planned for a cool first encounter to introduce the villain that they were going to fight and beat later
>tell him the warehouse is gonna explode from chemicals and he need to get out of there
>grinds the game to a halt again and demands to know exactly where all the fire is
>ask why
>refuses to tell me and won't continue until I put it on the map so he knows exactly where to escape
>tell him the warehouse is made of fucking sheet metal, just fly out of it. He does
>ask why he needed to know something so specific
>tells me I can't be trusted to not tell him he runs into the burning chemicals and dies when he tries to escape>I have litteraly never done anything remotely that petty and I'd been playing with that group for more than a year at that point.
I quit the group shortly there after.
>>44742704
Damn lol, that player has major trust issues indeed! Thanks for story!
>>44742704
Thank you anon, he's a great guy otherwise. And was happy with the critique.
>>44738444
I lost my hardly regained faith in humanity... oh, wait, that guy's from Florida. Carry on then!
>>44742514
Indeed.
>>44734651
But you mentioned the giant! That means it's there to be killed and it's loot to be stolen!
>>44733870
I don't know if I should be happy that the worst GM I've had only was a railroading one with a sidelines GMPC who was only there to interact with the BBEG before he ported away.
It was boring either way.
>>44739212
26 fucking years? It's clear that the other players are spineless bitches who will put up with anything, just ditch the group and find a better one.
>>44738444
Anon.
If anything about this is true, holy shit, just bail. There are better groups out there, and probably you bailing would motivate other players to leave with you. Even if they don't, at this point it's a win-win.
>>44734650
Sounds reasonable enough if you weren't pointing at it. As soon as you pointed at it, however, I'd give the Wizard an automatic success.
>>44738273
Hahah, no, that's exactly how detect evil works.
>>44745264
>you didn't point to it therefore I'll make player B roll to see it
>oh you're pointing to it now, something that should have been obvious? Auto success
>no, why do you think I'm wasting your time on inconsequential rolls when it's obvious that (unlike in the middle of combat) the wizard has all the time in the world to see where the obvious mark on the wall is especially after having it pointed out to him
It sounds reasonable, if you're a terrible DM.
>>44738467
No fuck you dia
>>44745264
why would you assume he isn't pointing at it, unless him pointing at it is relevant to the sigil's purpose?
why would the wizard have a hard time spotting the thing the rogue is pointing out to him?
>>44745333
If the Rogue just went over to the Wizard and said "There's something behind the bed," the wizard would not be instantly able to spot it if it required a spot check for the rogue as well, like, I dunno, if it were a magically concealed rune. Knowing my players, they'd do exactly that, and half the time they'd point the other PCs to stuff that isn't there in the first place.
>>44745372
If the wizard says he goes and checks out what the rogue told him about, it means that he goes around the bed to try and get a good look at what is behind it. That doesn't require a spot check for a glowing rune...
our dm as a joke makes us roll for stuff sometimes thats really dumb, and if we fail, he just looks at us and goes "eh, you succeed"
or even for stuff you normally role for, like our barbarian kicked down a door. our dm was like, you can do this, but just uh, roll for it anyway.
he rolled a 1. the dm just looked at us and was like "... you go to kick the door, but it just falls open. no one else notices"
>>44742085
>No but anyone who tells someone to commit suicide behind an anonymous image board sure is.
>>44745496
Friendly reminder that skill checks are not auto-fails or "crit fails" on 1, and a world where you constantly have a 5% chance to shoot your own dick off is retarded.
>>44746045
You realise that some people house rule it, right?
You're not one of thems there autistic people I've heard so much about, I hope.
>>44745734
And? So internet tough guy behavior is common on 4chan. What's your point?
>>44734650
>Make a spot check
I.. I'm inclined to say that that *could* be warranted. You could argue that the spot check was not to see or find the rune as you point to it, but to see if he notices a particular aspect of it, like how it's got three tears on it, or it's drawn in blood, not ink.
And if I was the GM, I wouldn't tell my players this at all. Explaining why exactly you need to roll something is practically the same as telling them what will happen. If they started arguing with me based on it, assuming the roll was to check it, I would not explain myself, just tell them to fucking roll.
But if it was just to see it, that's BS.
>>44734651
>This sparked an entire thread of angry shouts of "that GM".
I see nothing wrong here. The instant kill of the caster might've been a bit much, but they not only chose to discuss the murder of someone in plain view of that someone, but they chose to pursue someone clearly superior to them, even though one of them were dead and another gravely wounded.
They need to be held accountable for their actions. That's half the point of roleplaying. If your actions never matter and you always win, you can just go play vidya.
Seriously, fuck those players. I hope you burned their barge.
http://www.criticalmiss.com/issue8/jameswallisreplies1.html
>>44738518
>What motivates somebody to do this?
Autism.
>>44742085
Kill yourself.
>>44746084
>internet tough guy behavior is common on 4chan.
That is in fact the point. Hence, where do you think you are
>>44747190
This isn't /tg/?
I thought you guys were better than the rest of the denizens.
>>44747302
We are.
You should still kill yourself, you fedora-tipping faggot.
>>44747325
And you should check yourself before you wreck yourself, but we both know that's not going to happen, so why not pretend to be civil?
>>44747338
>>44747429
But it's the normies who come here to be shits to people, rather than having actual discussions.
Stay in your bucket, crabposter.
>>44742085
Yup. Intentions aside, telling a guy online to kill himself is the exact minimum requirement to achieving internet tough guy status.
>>44733870
>First pic is a reddit meme
>80 replies and 7 images omitted
>>44747458
>crabposter
¿
>>44747494
Since when are image macros "reddit memes"?
>>44734651
I would simply tell the paladin to fuck off and do it alone. Really. The moment a shitty pally player sees somethign evil, they switch into MUST SMUJT mode? Does that work in real life? You come over a challenge and rush into it? No planning, no gathering of allies, friends, forces to make sure you can overcome the challenge? No preparation? Just rush in and die. Dumb fucks.
I had a paladin try something similar. He detected evil in the person of the baron in the middle of his castle and tried to act all tuff. Guess what, the partymembers just stepped back from the Justice League Psycho and let him get knocked out by the baron's guard and HANGED outside the fucking castle. Player got mad. Party asked him what the fuck he was expecting, kill everyone just because the baron was lawful evil? He was evil, yes, but not the babyeating evil. Just a shitty lord of the realm who didn't take good care of his people's needs.
Player god mad, left. Came back with new character a week later. Had a bit of time to think about it and came to an agreement with the party.
We were young. Don't let non-experienced players play paladins. That's it.
Religious zealous cunts.
>>44747536
Scumbag Steve originated on leddit
>>44747619
Goodness, I hope the memepolice don't realise what Op has done, what kind of idiot spreads memes around?
>>44747613
>lobster
>being a jew
>>44747619
What the hell is Scumbag Steve? That picture is clearly a lot older than Reddit.
It's just an image macro.
>have a bunch of friends who have all known each other 10+ years
>three (one being myself) have D&D experience and one has DM experience (poor guy is an alwaysDM)
>haven't played together, but in different groups
>waxing poetic about D&D stories with other D&D player and DM, get the rest of our friends intrigued
>decide we'll start a group with everyone
>experienced DM agrees to DM for us
>start campaign, party has no cohesion because he basically let them roll whatever they wanted
>wind up with a lot of babby's first D&D 'special' characters and weird races, and wildly varying alignments
>DMPC, wildly overpowered lycanthrope character that routinely eviscerates anything we face off against in a single turn, basically rendering every encounter harmless for most of the campaign
>plot, encounters, and puzzles don't make any sense and 'leads' often dead end
>gave us tons of loot, then took it all away over an event we couldn't have predicted or avoided
>DMPC vanishes, suddenly getting our asses kicked by every encounter because we had also lost all of our shit shortly before that
>everyone is salty at DM by the time we finish
We're starting a new campaign this Saturday, with me DMing. Also switching from 3.5 to 5. I'm nervous as fuck.
>>44747619
Quick quiz, newfag.
Tell the thread why Reddit was originally hated, apply it to your post, then kill yourself.
>>44747717
here, got another.
>in my teens, just started playing with a group of my dad's friends
>DM's daughter wants to try playing, she's only 12 but has been watching them play long enough to get the idea
>even draws an adorable picture of her elf character
>she does well for a few weeks
>party supposed to be incognito, in a tavern gathering information
>barkeep asks everyone what they want to drink
>girl: "Uh... I don't know, beer?"
>DM: "BEER? WE HAVE NOT BEER IN THIS PLACE. YOU MUST BE AN IMPOSTOR."
>huge fight breaks out, girl's character killed, party retreats, but we can't get her character's body
>she quietly gets up from the table with tears in her eyes and went upstairs, and she never played with us again
>>44747821
what a dick
>>44742704
> ignites the chemicals
> fight is really heating up
My DM is pretty cool but he only runs his game once a month.
>campaign literally filled with monsters inmune yo crits and precision damage
>literally every feat he allows that adds damage is precision damage
>>44736718
Don't forget the belly rubs. Dragons need belly rubs.
>>44739212
"My twelve gauge.."
"has thirteen gauges!"
>>44747821
> "BEER? WE HAVE NOT BEER IN THIS PLACE. YOU MUST BE AN IMPOSTOR."
what. the. actual. fuck.
this sounds like a bad translation of an 80s videogame.
>>44748177
>>44747821
His own daughter to boot, what a bellend.
Thankfully this is the kind of even she'll forget all about and never have any lingering issues from.
>>44747717
> (poor guy is an alwaysDM)
>We're starting a new campaign this Saturday, with me DMing.
And suddenly you realize why he did what he did.
>>44748227
Yeah.
Any other person and I'd think it was the GM passive aggressively trying to boot a character or player.
It sounds like the guy might have been trying to have fun (my daughter, drinking beer!) and things escalated too quickly and he didn't want to seem like he was going soft on her to the rest of the group.Years from now, she'll have men dressed as dwarven bartenders shout out "Beer!" and "Imposter!" during coitus.
>>44739465
You poor, poor soul. I'm so sorry. I live in South Florida and I hate this place. Why anyone willingly chooses to live here is beyond me.
>>44748277"Blow your cover right inside me! Who's incognito now?"
>>44738273
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/detectEvil.htm
>Evil creature (HD)
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Hill_Giant
>12 HD
>Moderate Evil Aura
That is exactly how Detect Evil works, anon.
>>44748228
Possible, but I doubt it. I offered the idea that I could try a campaign when I was out with a few of them for lunch, and they really liked the idea. Asked the DM later and he seemed to be pretty happy at the chance for a break. He's a nice guy, but I don't think that was the style of game we were all expecting. It was pretty cheesy, and had a lot of stuff to it that wasn't beginner friendly.
>>44748227
>>44748277
The guy is a huge cock. He was trying to embarrass her. He routinely did this to his two older sons who played with us, but they have thicker skins.
Girl and the oldest son are recovering drug addicts, last I heard. I cut myself away from that group a few years ago because I couldn't handle the lot of them getting into screaming matches about the dumbest fucking rule disagreements. Literal screaming matches, with spit flying and books being thrown.
>>44738173
top kek.
I once had a DM who had 0 improv abilities, which created some of the most stupid situations again, and again, a few examples from the top of my head include:
>Walking through a road
>"The way splits in two, will you go left or right?"
>"We're going to the right"
>"Uh... ah... suddenly some boulders fall and block the path!"
>"Well, we try to go around the boulders"
>"No, you can't... you can't because there's also bears."
>"Ooookayyyy..."
This happened because she gave us two paths but had only prepared things for the left one so, instead of not giving the option or using the material for the other path, she just panicked at the idea that we went the other way.
Another one:
>"You find a village."
>"We go in."
>"No, you can't, the guards won't let you."
>"Well, then... we jump the fence?"
>"It's too high, you can't jump nor climb it."
>"But it's just a small village, isn't it?"
>"Yes."
>"And they have huge walls all around it? Why?"
>"They just do."
>"Okay, then we wait until it's night and try again."
>"Yeah, uh, no, the guards are still there."
>"Okay, you know what, we're going to knock out the guards and enter ayway."
>"It's, ah, uh, well, there's far too many to fight. The whole town is surrounded by guards. More than 50 of them."
>"Are you fucking kidding me? I shoot a fire arrow over the wall."
>"Hum... okay."
>"Now the town will start burning, the guards MUST go in to help."
>"Uh... no, they don't."
>"What? They just stay there while the town is alfame?"
>"Yes... yes. All of them."
>"This is just ridiculous, how are we suposed to get in there?"
>"Oh, I thought you 'd just go around and avoid the town, I've nothing prepared for it..."
And well, there were a few more, but it's all in the same routine.
>>44748592
Fuck, now I feel bad. What an asshole.
>>44748768
This isn't real
This can't be real
I don't want this to be real
Pls post moar
>>44748768
jesus christ that sounds pretty hilarious honestly
>>44748768
>you can't because there's also bears
one of my players (D&D 3.5) decided to be a DM one day, he made his own group and invited me (5th ed.), well, things turned out poorly
>he starts by saying "if you don't do things the right way you'll be fucked, prepare to think a lot if you don't want to fail"
>wat
>tell him that i'm fine with it, it's his first campaign so it's ok if he railroads a little
>last famous words
>his first session was entirely written, he read everything from his laptop
>everytime something doesn't go accordigly to his dastardly plans the party has to flee at least 30 enemies
>traps everywhere if we don't follow his intented path
>eventually drops his hand-made map to use faerun's map
>dude why
>"it's easier"
>whatever, keep playing
>explain to him that improvisation is key
>"yeah yeah i'll do that"
>doesn't
>get tired and tell him that i don't like his style after a few sessions of absurd railroad
>find out later from a friend (who's one of his players) that he picked up a pre-made campaign and is now following it to the letter
>the party died several times due to them not following his unspoken plans
i tried to get him to listen and understand but he wouldn't listen, he was also a bit of a cunt
>>44748826
It is real. In her defense it was her first time DMing after little experience playing and we were all a bunch af 16 years old so we were all quite bad at it, but sometimes it was just...
There was this other time, when we were in a dungeon:
>"You enter to a big room with nothing in it but a door"
>We check for traps, there's nothing.
>Okay, we go through the door.
>"It's closed."
>"Well, that's kind of expected but we didn't find any kind of key... I'll try to lockpick it."
>"You... uh... you can't."
>"...why?"
>"Because, er, well, you see, it doesn't have a lock. It's just... closed."
>"Does the magician sense any kind of magic from the door?"
>"No, not really. It's just a door."
>"Oh, right, we got some explosives with us and they're quite strong. We use one the door."
>"Uhm... it does nothing."
>"This is seriously annoying. You know what?, forget the door, I use them on the wall."
>"On the wall? Oh, uh... well, it breaks and... there's nothing."
>"What do you mean, nothing? Another empty room?"
>"Oh, no, there's not a room, it's just... nothing. It's an empty sace. Like, the nothigness."
>wat.jpg
>"I.. get closer and look inside the hole."
>"You fall into the emptyness and die".
I still rolled another character and played two more sessions before we all gave out.
>Playing 5e
>Lost Mine of phandelver
>1st level
>First encounter is to save a dwarf and his human friend who know the location of a magical forge
>dispatch 4 goblins even before they get to act
>follow track and find a cave
>lots of goblins inside
>they suddenly vanish into the thin air before our eyes
>wut?
>we get hit by we don't see the attackers
>have to flee
>try again
>the same
>flee
>every encounter ever is against invisible enemies
>TPK
>GM "You don't know how to play this, do you?"
Bet my ass he gave all monsters hide in plain sight and +half a billion in stealth that not even my monk with 21 on passive perception could see them
We of course didn't come back for a second session
>>44749130
you went out of bounds in 3d zelda world, anon
>>44749150
>he gave all the monsters
What's the point of playing a pregen adventure if your DM is going to alter all the stats?
>>44749306
Because pregen adventures are made so the PCs have a chance to win, that's bad design.
>>44747821
What
the actual factual
FUCK?
that would be a huge dick move on just any player, but your own twelve year old daughter?
I have a buddy who would do a fucking song and dance number if his daughter ever wanted to game with us, she'd probably end up with her own pet dragon, epic level gear, and a magical artifact that makes unlimited ice cream by the end of the first session, not get screwed over by local beverage choices
>>44749130
You got any more of these?
>>44749841
>she'd probably end up with her own pet dragon, epic level gear, and a magical artifact that makes unlimited ice cream by the end of the first session
That's how all games with children involved should go. After all we're playing pretend and children are gods in the land of make believe.
>>44749988
Not really, I've forgotten most that happened in that game. I may ask some of the other players.
>>44749474
So having PCs lose by default is a good thing?
>>44750514
I think he's joking.
>>44750535
Considering that we're on /tg/ i wouldn't be surprised if he's not
>>44750535
why would he be joking when he's right?
>Dude invites us to a game
>doesn't say shit about the game, difficulty, whatever, only the system
>Turns up to be ultrahardcore meat grinder
>We didn't build accordantly
>GM "Is not my obligation as a GM to tell you how the campaign is going to be"
Now he wonders why we don't invite him
>>44750237
or just give them simple tasks that are awesome. Most kids aren't into political intrigue, or anything Dark Heresy related. However, I do remember a story where someone got their kid sister involved by letting her be a Sister of Battle and telling her that the Emperor was some cute boy who lived far away, so that's something.
>>44754698
>and telling her that the Emperor was some cute boy who lived far away, so that's something.
I mean, that's not...UNtrue. I'm sure most Sisters of Battle would agree with that description, actually
>>44755209
>I'm sure most Sisters of Battle would agree with that description, actually
Seeing as how they are the emperors DAUGHTERS I'd disagree
>>44741781
>mixing bleach and detergents
>wut?
>>44747821
If I saw that I wouldn't come back either.
>>44754224
>"Is not my obligation as a GM to tell you how the campaign is going to be"
>>44747472
Kill yourself.
>>44738487
Oh...
I made stats block for the Mite (level 1 leader mob, gives attacks to vermins) and Hextor's Blood Golem, level 6 solo (Being "Bloodied" gave him a an aura that can get you prone upon any successful attack, an increased damage reduction, additional damage and he lost 1 healing surge per round, meaning he lasted 3 rounds even if not attacked).
Both were 3.5 / 3.PF monsters I kinda liked, but you know... I adapted them. Not hard. Just find a similar monster and tweak it a little.
4th Ed is "Make life bearable for DMs edition". Meh, but flexible.
>>44754224
1. Optimize all characters. Ever.
2. Still make compelling backgrounds.
3. ?????
4. Profits!Of course, it'll end in an arms race that, let's face it, the DM really can't lose, especially if he's a bit lucky/willing to "cheat". But hey, it allows US to test the most ridiculous builds.Also, we don't let the guy DM for us anymore.
>>44739812
It's pretty fun as long as you don't insist on being a whiney cunt about rules. If it wasn't called DnD nobody would bat an eye at it but because it was an official title entitled bitchy people got all uppity about it. I've literally run 4e in a home brew setting by renaming some classes and races for some guy who was convinced 4e was terrible but who had never bothered to read or play it by telling him it was just some other fantasy game made by some small indie company and he lapped it up.
Threeaboos are the cancer of roleplay.
>>44733870
I haven't played DnD in years, mainly because of bad DMs. One in particular named Alex. He saw me as some weird competition, out of are large group of friends I don't know why he figured he had to always been equal to me in everything. This created a strange dynamic when he tried to DM, because he literally played out every adventure ending in me vs him. I remember being extra carful during our sessions to expose him for this, and sure enough it did. My character would magically fall into a pit of snakes and die after not moving for a few minutes, or get jumped by an entire army that emerged from some russeling bushes. One time I shot a bow and arrow at a guard in a watchtower. I rolled two perfect 20's and so Alex had the guard tower crumble on top of me.
>>44758531
Is his full name Alexandr and does he like 40k?
>>44734596
We have a similar running joke where we look at ceilings and ask what time of day it is. Our DM hates clocks, we've only seen one in like four campaigns
>>44746122
>rolling spot for arcana checks is okay in my book
shut up already jesus
>>44746122
>to see if he notices a particular aspect of it, like how it's got three tears on it, or it's drawn in blood, not ink.
But that shouldn't be a spot check you dingus. Spot is for finding hidden things like sneaking people or seeing through disguises. It should be a knowledge, arcana, or some form of investigation roll to know what it means. It's THERE, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE. Spot is absolutely out of the question.
Are you telling me that by looking at a symbol on the wall that is being pointed at I should have a potential for not being able to tell how many dashes are there on something, or not be able to tell that it's red and nod blue? No wonder literacy was so horrible in the medieval ages. They were probably required to use spot checks to read a book.
I suppose for the most part this is more of a "that DMs friend" thing.
>Guy I knew in high school tries GMing, it's a bit generic but we had a laugh
>DM asked if he can bring in 3 of his uni pals, we say okay, the more the merrier
>2 of the guys are sound as fuck, the other one is an almost stereotypical "that guy"
>Killed a towns black smith because he wouldn't forge him a katana, murdered family backstory, regularly interrupts the game to spout about atheism ect
>GM really obviously favors him with loot and better rolls
>The original 4 player are starting to get a bit sick of it but we put up with it
>My family are away for a couple of weeks so I offer my house as a place to play
>Now, I usually don't mind smoking in the house but as a courtesy to the others I told everybody at the start that if they wanted to smoke, take it outside
>Break time rolls round, me and my mate let ourselves out for a fag
>When we come back in everybody at the table is looking really uncomfortable while that guy puffs away on one of those vape sticks
>Go fucking mental saying that I told him to take it outside
>He hits back with "It's okay vaping isn't like smoking, it doesn't hurt anybody"
>"You're just trying to bring me to same level as your filthy habit"
>Icanfeelthewarpovertakingme
>Eventually have to resort to telling him that if he doesn't stop, he can get tae fuck
>The game awkwardly continues on with cunt sitting quietly playing on his Iphone until he needed to make combat moves
>Later that night the DM messages me on steam saying "thanks a lot anon now cunt doesn't want to come back, we won't be needing your house any more. If you can't keep your temper in check and can't stop being a dick don't come to the next session."
We didn't go back. I do wonder if I got a bit too mad about it but he was just so oblivious and autistic about the reason I asked him to stop.
>>44759515
nah he was a cunt
its fine if you vape but if you do you should follow the same shit smokers do
and even then, if someone tells you not to fucking vape in your house (or anything for that matter) dont fucking do it
>>44758681
What if it was, and what if he did?
>>44759515
You were a dick for 'going fucking mental' at the first sight of him vaping. Many people (wrongly) don't relate vaping and smoking at all. Sounds like you verbally attacked him when you could have been more calm and diplomatic about it telling him to go outside. But you were well within the realm of 'right' otherwise. It's your house, your rules.
And the fact that he didn't say 'okay' when you told him to take it outside makes him a dick as well.
>>44759266
>Sire thine manual for reparations of a hurt buttocks is nowhere to be found.
>Knave! I should strike you! Couldst thou not spot it amongst the shelves?
>>44746060
Not that anon but people who house rule critical success or failure on skill checks do it either because it's "lolsorandumb" or because somebody told them that that's how d20 games work. In fairness it's one of those things new players can understandingly flub on, but when you stop to think about it, it doesn't actually make any sense and often ruins the coherency of any game that takes itself even somewhat seriously.
>>44759697
I suppose you're right. I guess I'd thought the "take it outside" thing was clear and never considered that vaping is seen differently to smoking. Can't say I understand that train of thought though.
>>44754698
>I do remember a story where someone got their kid sister involved by letting her be a Sister of Battle and telling her that the Emperor was some cute boy who lived far away, so that's something.
IIRC the given prompt was something along the lines of "You're in a long distance relationship with a cute boy named The Emperor, and the more you burn bad people the more he will love you."
>>44747821
Please not be real, that poor girl...
That said my Dad is like that when he doesn't want me around.
>>44759635
I know that faggot, he's also a brony.
>>44759515
Vaping is the same shit as smoking, no matter what mouth-fedora apologists say. You had every right to tell that cunt off.
>>44742704
That player must have beenburnedpretty badly in the past.
>>44760054
No, that Anon's just a faggot throwing out the Middle Ground Fallacy, you were totally in the right. When you lay down rules and some asshole willingly breaks them, tries to justify it via loophole, and then insults you in your own home while you're hosting and while he's breaking a rule, he's 100% cunt and should have been thrown out then and there.
>>44760865
So what does scummy DM have anything to do with blaming boogeymen? Nothing about social justice in the opening post; sound like you're beign oversensitive about an imaginery boogeyman of the evil, nasty, racist, sexist traditional gamer.
>>44761268
It's bait m80, the exact same post was made in several threads.
>>44743478
And why dos you quit?
>>44757858
I repeat that they were straight ports, no conversions
>>44759515
>Killed a towns black smith because he wouldn't forge him a katana
>>44759515
You're fine dude,
that faggot can fuck right off.
>>44734590
>>44734486
>>44733870
Maybe the DM was rolling to see what the weather was like outside.
Our DM does that, sees if its stormy of becalmed or all that maritime jazz.
>>44738467
Yeah well screw you Vincent.
>>44733870
>NPC at a table is bragging about how well he can hold his liquor
>Offers to give us magical items if we outdrink him
>Swashbuckler has great CON, so they challenge him to a drinking contest
>Buff them with magical buffs, to help them cheat
>They contest rolls for ages
>2 hours of in game time
>Finally get pissed off with all this rolling, and ask the DM if we can even beat him
>They tell me no, because the NPC is level 20
>Ask them why the fuck they wasted all of our time with that
>"Oh I thought you'd find it funny!"
Yeah we quit that campaign pretty quickly.
>>44759515
Albeit you cracked your position a little by being aggressive, you are still right. That guy was in the fault and should've gone out to smoke.
>>44733870
I've only had one bad DM. A majority of it was because he was inexperienced, but the other part is he equates difficulty with fun (less difficulty = less fun, more difficulty = more fun).
>States that criticals can occur on skill checks.
>One player talks to an anti-slave type about how they should just buy the slaves to get them out of slavery instead of sneaking them away at night. Gets a Nat 20 on the Persuasion check.
>"I'm not going to roleplay against her character."
>We're fighting a tree monster. My character lands a critical hit, dealing 20 damage.
>DM says, "Wait a minute..." and starts writing something, "...OK, I gave it 25 more health. I made this monster myself, and I don't want this fight to be over too quickly!"
>My attack actually increased its total HP. Fight goes on for 1hr 15min.
>Party was initially uninterested in the plot hook about potentially stopping the slave trade, but then we start getting into it. Town's economy practically based on slave trade. Screw it; we're stopping it. We break into the mayor's manor. The mayor utilizing slaves for some cult activities. Sacrifices people to become an avatar for an unknown, dark god. I end up decapitating him.
>Slew of armed guards go at us. I throw the head at the guards, warn them that they shouldn't come any further. Nat 20 Intimidate.
>"The first few guards are intimidated for a second, and the guards behind them are not phased."
>The guards tell us we can leave town, and never come back unless we want to be sold into slavery.
>Reluctantly leave town. I was told by the DM later that he was "tired of doing things in this town and wanted to do something different."
The last bit was the worst thing, honestly. I get the need to do something different, but the group was actually really interested in what was going on in the town, and having fun with it.
(1/2?)
>>44767006
>One of the characters has a pretty high AC. Never really takes damage.
>Suddenly, we encounter rust monsters while walking in the woods.
>Other enemies are able to hit just above the high AC, but get more "average" rolls with us.
>Actually, it is very infrequent that the enemies miss us. Or don't have multi-attacks.
>We all end up getting thrown in jail in another town. My barbarian isn't having it. Strength check to break the bars. Nat 20.
"You bend them a little bit; you're not breaking out."
>Forced into an arena fight. Party is fighting a cyclops. If we kill it, we can leave. We kill it with ease.
>Suddenly have to fight 4 Minotaurs. People running the arena are upset we beat their cyclops. Grind through it, but we beat them.
>Now surrounded by 16 soldiers.
We played for about 8 or 9 sessions. The DM had some decent ideas but he didn't know how to stick with them and let the party help make them better. The last three sessions were a hodge-podge of ideas (arena fights, dragons and soldiers invading a town, us fleeing via boat, trying to avoid more guards since we're wanted men, falling into the Underdark and fighting hook horrors and chuuls, coming across some old cathedral with some animated armor guardian, fighting another avatar or a dark god). Most of the group just stopped caring, and by the end of it we could see that the DM stopped caring too.
(2/2)
>>44754698
I got you man.
>>44749150
>level 1 5e monk
>21 passive perception
You are a cheese-eating rat bastard, lying scum.
>>44766942
One random encounter that is annoying but leads to no negative aftermath
>yeah we left that campaign pretty quickly
Over what? That? I hope most of these stories are bs cause if people quit a whole campaign over shit like this i feel like id never want to play tabletop ever with fucks like these
>>44767056
What kind of fucking gilded dice do you use if you're getting nat20s literally everytime you do someing relevant
>no but guys this totally happened
Sure
>>44738444
>"running rogue trader" underlined and circled like 4 times.
top kek desu
joking or no?
>>44767310
>it's okay to waste 4 people's time by having one of them roll dice for 2 hours until they finally fail
>thinks it's okay to have players waste their time rolling dice when you've already decided that they're going to fail
>it's also okay to railroad the players in a first encounter they can't possibly win by editing in that the opponent is level 20
Leaving the game is completely justified, retard.
>>44767339
Well, if I only tried doing three things over the course of the adventure, then sure, I got a Nat 20 every time I tried doing something relevant. But, the three times I did roll it it never worked as a critical would, per the DM.
But there were plenty of botched rolls and non-crit successes. Calm your tits.
>>44767401
>rolling dice for 2 hours
But anon i thought it was ingame
>Railroad on the first encounter
>look guys i can use buzzwords
I admit the dm making the npc offer a challenge that you cant win is a dick move but i don't see how thats railroading. It had no impact on anything other than your pc getting shitfaced and wasting 2 ingame hours. Literally no telling what would happen next.
>>44767653
You're right, that was not railroading. But it's not a good sign if the first thing a GM does is a dick move on his new players.
And >>44766942 doesn't say that they left only because of this, so I would infer from the post that the GM was a dick.
>>44767304
Not that guy, but
>Variant Human
>Observant feat (+1 wisdom, +5 passive perception)
>+2 from proficiency
That's +7. He just needs to roll 16 preracial wisdom, add +1 racial and +1 feat, and there, +4 wis mod. 21 passive perception.
>>44767304
It's pretty fucking doable, retard.
>>44748768
>>"No, you can't... you can't because there's also bears."
Goodbye, sides, you were too good for this sinful earth
>>44768003
Not with point buy, at least.
>>44760054
Nah he is a cunt mate. Even if he didnn't consider vaping the same as smoking he should have asked if vaping was fine to be clear. You may have jumped the handle a bit by getting mad but he should have apologized and said he didn't think vaping was the same as smoking, then it would have been fine. But to then turn around insult you in your home after not following your rules is instant 'fuck him' territory.
Cunt's like that piss me off, had a guy get me an another mate tossed out of a game for smoking pot when he was told not to light up at hosts home and he did anyway.
>>44739883
But he is the DM anon, he isn't the retarded one.
>>44747661
As long as he doesn't eat seafood, it's okay. Human meat is not Kosher, too, you know.
>>44760054
>I suppose you're right.
Fuck no. Mr Vape and the GM can go fuck a car battery.
>>44760054
>vaping is seen differently to smoking
Well, it is. But not in the sense you think.
There is a reason that it's called a "mouth-fedora".
Everyone who does it is acting like a smug cunt to people who smoke, yet when people tell them not to 'vape' near them they throw a fit screaming "NOOOOO ITS DIIFFEREEEEENT"
They are seen as the special-needs children amongst smokers.
>>44769825
Please don't lump us all in with those faggots. I started vaping so I would cut back on regular smoking and I certainly don't act like a smug cunt about it.
>>44769825
Vaping: So you can look cool like a smoker, but still judge them.
>>44770077
Fair enough.
Sadly you're in the minority, because vaping has already gained immense hipster reputation, turning actual smokers away from it.
Good on you, tho.
>>44759515
>murdered family backstory
Wait. Is this a thing? My current character can't remember any family and lived on the streets for as long as he can remember, and now he always wants to stick up for the little guy.
Am I That Guy?
>>44770703
That's different from 'my family was brutally murdered by Pegleg McClawhand, and I shall get my revenge!'
Your character is more like an orphan - a common enough story for characters to be relatively harmless. Even better, he actually has a reason to stick up for other people, instead of using his past as an excuse for selfish or violent behavior.
>>44770703
The murdered family thing is because a lot of DMs like to murder families to show how super evil the BBEG actually is.
Supposedly. Im forever DM myself so I dont know.
>>44739212
Oh fucking christ
What kind of character does he play?
>>44770703
>>44770860
...two of my most recent WHFRP2 characters (my current one and one of my backups) are orphans.
I realize it's a trope, but it actually just happens to work fairly well. Not because it's annoying to do all the background work (I do enjoy writing character backgrounds, generally) but it just leaves the field open, you know?
Maybe it's lazy, I dunno.
>>44741781
Lmao what's up your ass today anon
DM didn't recognize the powers of holy water. Wasted one wish from a genie on "holy water rain." Did nothing to the assaulting army of undead.
>>44749130
god I cant stop reading these
>>44748060
Did he allow shit like power attack?
>>44748768
>you can't because there's also bears
>>44768325
>2016
>Using point buy
>Being this fucking pathetic
>>44771145
Do the world a favor and kill yourself
>>44770942
Most people I know have ignored the question of parents outright, and admittedly with half the characters I make, I never really need to specify anything aside from if they were low class or not.
The only time I've really ever cared about a character's parents was when I actually came up for the story of the parents first, and built the character around the idea of being their son. It was interesting to pick apart what ways they were like their parents and how they ended up different.
>>44747536
Circa 2010
>>44738444
stop it, you all know he is fucking garbage, not even a nice person, refuse to play with him
I'm bamboozled as why people allow themselves to play with this trash
>>44759515
>GM really obviously favors him
NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO DM WITH HIS/HER BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND BEING A PLAYER
>>44759579
This
There isn't need to be a reason, if you are a guest at someone's house you ought to follow his rules. It's basic courtesy
>>44760054
>you are right
no, your house, your rules
>>44739212
tell him that he is an old geezer that needs to grown the fuck up
I don't understand people who, out of respect of the older, allow others to be treated with no respect or allow their bullshit
>>44771436
I've done that, but clearing it with the other two players.
My boyfriend was getting ready for his thesis defense and really needed a confidence boost.
>>44770703
My monk has a murdered family back story.
Bandits raid his farm.
Burn his crops to the ground.
Kill his family and leave him bleeding out on the floor
He spend the next 2 or 3 years traveling and training looking for the leader of the bandits.
Eventually finds him. He tears the bandit leader apart. Makes him beg for mercy.
He has had his vengeance. But it did not bring him peace. An existential crisis lead shim to become a monk and takes and takes a vow of nonviolence
His diplomacy is so good the other players were kind of annoyed they never got to fight anything.
>>44759515
That's what you get for being a smoker and stepping outside to smoke.
When you have people over you must never, never relax. Be alays wary, be always vigilant
>>44759515
I think it's a matter of execution, really. I mean, sure just having stuff like being an orphan and leaving it at that/using it as an excuse to go full edgy isn't so good, if you think about how the character is impacted by that and how they'd go from there, it's better.
I mean hell, for one of the longer characters I had I give him an amnesiac backstory (which is pretty much an orphan backstory by extension, except they may be alive but unknown instead of dead) although I set it long enough in the past for the guy to have lived in the game's local area a little and to have picked up contacts and a father figure type deal.
>>44748768
>>44748826
>>44748837
>>44748871
>>44768059
>>44771124
Seriously:
>"Are you fucking kidding me? I shoot a fire arrow over the wall."
>"Hum... okay."
>"Now the town will start burning, the guards MUST go in to help."
>"Uh... no, they don't."
>"What? They just stay there while the town is alfame?"
>"Yes... yes. All of them."
I would burst into laughter.
> "Come help us! My daughter is trapped in her bedroom!"
> "We did not even let them in the city and they're burning it down. Just imagine what would happen to your daughter if we did."
Seriously, they're just trying to learn the physics / social science of this world, they're experimenting. It's kinda beautiful.
>>44759515
> Later that night the DM messages me on steam saying "thanks a lot anon now cunt doesn't want to come back, we won't be needing your house any more. If you can't keep your temper in check and can't stop being a dick don't come to the next session."
> We didn't go back
Best reaction ever. Well played friends.
>>44770898
Forever DM here too. I think it's more a mix of "wanting no weaknesses" / "the DM won't use it except to have them killed". Why develop a deep background with NPCs with personality that won't be used or will be destroyed for a cheap effect?
Heck, imagine you do, and that you're proud of what you managed to imagine and write down. Then it never comes into play.
Better play a sociopathic orphan.
>>44749130
>Oh, no, there's not a room, it's just... nothing. It's an empty sace. Like, the nothigness
>>44773375
I suppose. Personally, any time I build a character I make some reference to their background, even for NPCs.
Like I recently did up an NPC leader of a knightly order. Hes an old fuck that disavowed his family to become fully dedicated to his god. He has a brother, his parents died of old age and he may or may not have some illegitimate kids.
Just makes them feel more tangible I guess.
>>44771436
Never allow them to play favorites. It's pretty damn hard for anyone to be neutral in that position, but try to constrain them with ideas of fairness if nothing else.
>>44773456
>>44773375 here
The few times I did not DM, I even created nemesis and generously stat them (including underlings if applicable). They always have profound reasons to hate my guts. They are seldom used.
I like creating bad guys with good motivations. I wouldn't even care if he was just a minor side-villain used by a more powerful villain. I even facilitate such a thing.
>>44773642
Tbh, as a forever DM, its not really that tough if yer lucky. For example, my gf gets shitty with me if she gets special treatment. Which, while unnecessary, does please me greatly.
Bu who knows, I might be the minority in that situation. All I know is, once I start DMing they're all just players and I think of them as how they play.
>>44773666
God that sounds awesome. I have a friend I DM for does similar stuff, he used to DM for me so we kinda liaison, and sweet christ it makes it so much easier.
I've told this story before, but it's probably the worst I have, since it was years ago and one of the main reasons I started DMing full-time.
>Join a new group. DM is a chick who shows us the world map, claims it's a setting her boyfriend made. Oh, this is gonna end well...
>We create characters, I create an aged Inquisitor, a solem man with a greatsword.
>"You guys are in the Elf kingdom's capital city. It's like a generic Elven city" (No, it doesn't have a name).
>"You guys are all in a tavern. It's kind of a generic tavern." (Yep...good things on the horizon...)
>"It's full of people and there's what appears to be a woman dancing in an exotic outfit on stage."
>I decide I'm just sitting at the bar minding my business. I have not, at this point, learned anything about the other players. The only thing I know is that before I joined and made an Inquisitor, they intended to be an all-Paladin party.
>Some soon-to-be party members gather for some reason, talking at a table.
>"You remember that you saw wanted posters around the city, the princess is missing." (Oh hey, a plot hook, I guess?)
>The dancer girl finishes her dance and walks over to the bar to drink.
>All the sudden the party members are somehow in the middle of a bar scuffle. I don't remember how, I hadn't said a single word by this point.
>I ask "What did the princess look like?"
>Wanna guess?
>"The picture was of a generic blonde Elf princess."
>I wish I was making this up.
>Someone runs outside to get a guard to break up the scuffle in the bar.
>The dancer girl, with no provocation at all, leaps up onto the bar and draws her longbow, readying an arrow.
>Wait. WHAT?
>Someone asks "Hey, what does the girl look like?"
>"You suddenly realize that she's the princess!"
>Yeah, I'm out.
And that's the story of how I left a D&D campaign in 15 minutes.
>>44773456
Little things like that are great.
I run a game in a modern setting. And I Always give each mook a name and a one sentence defining feature.
It doen't always come into play but my players really do enjoy the flavor.
Last game they caught a ghoul reading pic related while he was suposed to be on guard duty muttering
"I cant wait till theses stupid kids get eaten how many books is it going to take.".
>>44773666
>I even created nemesis
>They are seldom used.
Because every time they ARE, you cry and complain about how it's not the story you imagined.
Sorry, we're not playing "super sandbox anything-goes hour", but every time players insist on having a personal arc or a nemesis or some shit, it's always because they have some very specific scenes in their head that they create BEFORE knowing anything about the campaign, and then when the DM has to change details to fit, you get mad at him because it's not "your" story.
I've had players complain to me that a story arc I wrote based on "I want to eventually hunt down my dad and rescue my little brother" didn't end in his PC dying so he could play the brother as a PC. None of which he mentioned at fucking all.
This is why no one lets you have those things.
>>44773909
Ya know, if it was any fuckwit but a DM you were talking to Id say that holds water. But if theres one person you'd think is maybe, just maybe, trying to give the DM some plothooks to work with, wouldn't ya say its probably the dude who's usually stuck DMing?
>>44773951
Can you try that again in English?
>>44773704
Your gf is a good woman, and you should be proud of her.
Me, I get impatient with people. I probably wouldn't necessarily favor a bad player, but I sure would punish ones that I didn't feel were up to snuff or were annoying me. Which could be a good thing if the players find them annoying too, but I could be harshly punishing a guy just trying to have fun.
>>44773965
That... that was english. But let me try dumbing it down a bit.
If theres one player likely to be adding in Nemesis and such just to provide plot-hooks, wouldn't you think the dude that always has to DM and is sick of players not doing that is that player?
>>44774003
I wouldn't know, considering I'm the only DM my group's had for many years.
Maybe they DM their own games, but I have no knowledge of that.
I don't care if players want to input personal stuff into the campaign, I'll even encourage it. But you can't EVER say "Yeah here's a hook just do what you want with it" and then complain that it was used differently than you planned in your head. And you and I both know that when you hand the DM a plot hook, you already know how you want it to end. So you might as well save the trouble and just write the short story to completion before submitting it and save everyone the trouble.
>>44760957
>>44766575
>>44766978
>>44768368
>>44769245
>>44769825
>>44771436
>>44771489
>>44771627
>>44773270
If he hadn't been such an autist throughout the game I don't think I'd have lost my shit that quickly. I suspect the only reason the others tolerated his shite is because the DM has always been a bit of an outcast and they were pleased that he'd made some new friends. I've been told that the game fell apart not long after we left, I do feel sorry for the other guys though. I've spoken to them since and from what I gathered they just weren't prepared for the sheer autism that took place. One of the guys told me that they left the game because "Cunt and the DM interrupted the game for about 10 minuets to quote lines and impressions back and forth from characters in tf2"
>>44759266
If it's supposed to be drawn in blood, not red ink, then you'll need a Knowledge Arcana or a Spellcraft check to know that.
If it's drawn in red ink instead of blood, like it's supposed to be, you'll need a Spot check to notice the difference.
>>44774053
No, I don't. I am a perma-DM myself and a number of my players have just gone ''heres ny background'' and let me pull whatever plothooks I want from that.
You may just have a shitty group dude. Sorry to say it but thats what it sounds like to me.
This was freeform but fuck it, this was still really annoying.
>DM isn't usually bad at all, a little too accommodating towards power creep but that's not a huge flaw
>Actual huge flaw is baiting a bunch of players into the plot of Danganronpa 2
>None of us knew what the flying fuck Danganronpa was
>No explanation, no hints, the gist of Danganronpa was explained with about all the same grace Davros would use descending a flight of stairs
>It swiftly died, GM tried again without the plot of Danganronpa anything and suddenly the story had no hook or plot
>Friends don't let GMs GM weeb, I guess
>>44770123
fun story: I had a friend visit recently. He wanted to get shit to put in his vape (I think he forgot his charger?). The only vape store we could find was set up like some kind of neon and chrome bar bullshit and the two guys working there were dressed like bouncers from the 80's. We didn't even go inside.
On topic I had a DM who randomly houseruled 3.5. Like, he had me swap my sorcerer's number of spells known and spells per day and added in iado checks. He knew nothing about statistics but insisted we roll odd combinations of dice and then divide the result instead of rolling, say, 1d20. He was on lithium. I left after one session. I don't even remember what it was about.
>>44774120
I think that telling the difference between blood and ink would be either an investigate check or whatever heal checks are called now. Spot is for seeing things that are hard to see or easy to miss.
It's pretty clear why this DM call brought that anon's game to a halt.
I don't put any friends and family members in my background unless I want the GM to have them killed and raped without me having any ability to stop it. I don't mind the "Your hot Ulfen waifu and her cute foxgirl sidechick have been kidnappes by ninjas, are you a bad enough dude to save them?" plot because that literally starts and adventure for me without me trying. Typically it's "You come home to find that your house has burned down and your Ulfen waifu and her fox girl sidechick are dead. You can tell despite the charred corpses they died from an overdose of orc dick". That's just lame.
>>44774763
Have you considered that the DM does not want your hot Ulfen waifu and her cute foxgirl sidechick in there game?
>>44775399
>there
their
>>44775399
They weren't in the game until the GM brought them in by raping them to death. If he didn't want them in the game, he could have either asked for a different background story or not have mentioned them at all.
>>44775554
Yes because telling a player "nope make a new backstory" never makes it onto /tg/ painting the DM as a railroading asshole. I can't see anything going wrong, really.
>>44776141
And both characters getting dragged into the story just to get killed off makes things any better? If a DM thinks that something that a player's made up is stupid, he should just say so so that the player can decide on something they can both agree with instead of being passive-aggressive about it or scrapping the whole idea.
>>44776141
>guys look, I can use buzzwords! Railroad, railroad, derp!
My DM favours high damage paralysis traps with no save. Annoying but w/e
>>44749130
Why didn't you fire magic missiles at the darkness?
>>44749130
My ribs! Got into a car crash a few days ago and every giggle hurts my ribs. I can't stop laughing! Cruse you anon!
Totally would have played in that just to see how what would happen when I try to do something Insane/Inane/Illogical.
>>44778267
Wow, that's an old fucking meme.
>>44739212
Wait this guy is in his 40s or something? Jesus.
>>44748768
Dude could have said that the place was quarantined due to an incurable malady
>>44781542
She did want them to be able to go there - just not yet because she hadn't planned out everything.
>>44748768
Ahahah this is killing me. Why even have the right-hand path, or the town? Clearly she can improv if she can throw boulder bears around, she just needed to figure out how to use them.
>>44775399
That was a random example. Every DM has killed my character's family no matter what I do, then whine when I play orphan asexual drifters instead.
>>44774763
>"Your hot Ulfen waifu and her cute foxgirl sidechick
/pfg/, who let you out of your cage?
