>the Halfling King has rewarded you for saving his life by offering you the hand of the fairest Halfling maiden in his kingdom
nice
always wanted to do it with a midget, so many new possibilities.
>>44727249
>singlelineofgreentextshitthread
>>44727249
That is the worst thing that's come out of 5e
>>44727249
The Halfling King is a fucking bro. Shortstacks are the best.
If she looks like Jemma Suicide then I'm okay with this.
Decline
>>44727249
Cool. Throw her in the back of the wagon with the rest of them.
>>44727369
This thread is shit anyways so somebody should dump her sets
>>44727249
>accepting hands as reward
What do I look like, a kobold?
>>44727249
I'm cool with the idea, but...that image...fuck man, if that's the hottest honey he's got handy then I'm backhanding him with my gauntleted fist for insulting me so and taking the throne for myself. I shall call it Freedonia! The emblem shall be the bald eagle! The national food will be hamburgers with a side of freedom fries! We will have blackjack and hookers and it will be awesome.
>>44727249
>offering people as a reward
>literally slavery
I Smite the king
>>44727455
It doesn't count if they're not human.
>>44727455
Are you an idiot? He offered you the hand of the fairest Halfling maiden that means that he's offered you to marry the best-looking halfling woman. There is no mention about it being slavery.
>>44727629
He forces an underraged midget to marry you and take over her lands. Pretty much medieval slavery in a nutshell.
>>44727639
>marriage is slavery
>>>/tumblr/
>>44727639
>He forces
Where did he say that in the OP?
>an underraged
Again, where did OP say that?
>to marry you and take over her lands.
What? Are you actually taking the piss here? Where did you read that?
I'm done, with all these assumptions. I'm absolutely done.
>>44727649
>marriage without the other person's consent isn't slavery
>especially in medieval society
You can go back to being cucked by hypno-fetishists /pol/.
>>44727669
If she isn't jumping over your dick in the first place then it's fucking forcing you idiot.
Fucking b8ing Christ OP. You got your "tumblr" response, now fuck off to where you belong.
>>>/y/
>>44727249
I frown and tell him plainly that I cannot accept his offer, thanking him for the thought. I'll ask only for a night's rest for all of us instead, before resuming our journey to Skull's Castle.
>>44727688
>implying there's no consent
Where was this stated?
>>44727696
Oh hey, it's Anime Snape.
>>44727688
I do agree that if there is no consent it's rape.
But if there is, then it's perfectly alright. And nowhere in the OP is it stated that there is no consent. Or that she is underage.
>>44727699
>implying you can offer something that isn't yours
>which both is rape and tyranny at the same time
>it's not even known if she was his daughter
I mean, I understand the idea behind arranged marriages, and they technically aren't rape due to the fact that there were a political convince more than anything else, but randomly taking your finest maiden in your realm and throwing them into the PC's bad of holding is not a good idea in general, let alone getting them hitched.
>>44727730
>should've named it ASSumptions, like what the guy who was quoted was doing
>>44727736
>implying the halfling king is evil
>implying he didn't ask the fairest maiden first
>implying she wouldn't love to get hitched with someone as strong and handsome as PC
Goddamnit, have you learnt nothing yet?
>>44727249
"I appreciate your gift, Sire, but I'll need at least two."
>>44727718
He looks sexy
>>44727736
>"Your Grace, that warrior who just left was just amazing! I was most impressed by his honorable behavior and muscular physique."
>"Tell you what, how about I hook you two up when he gets back?"
>>44727353
>Alfie
>Lesbian melly scene on its way
>>44727736
Are you implying that rewarding somebody for saving your kingdom is not a political motivation? Are you also implying that the halfling king is somehow privy to the metagame knowledge of the average murderhobo?
>>44727736
*convenience
lel
>>44727730
I'm not the person arguing underage b8, and of course if the maiden readily agrees to it it isn't rape. Of course, the word offering implies it's his to give in the first place.
>>44727740
kek
>>44727749
>not a rogue bard
You truly have learned nothing.
I take it, then usurp the haldling king. I then decree a ban on green text posts on town message boards.
>>44727765
The hero we deserve
>>44727765
Yeah, fuck those haldlings.
>>44727249
>>44727760
It was custom, once, that the father agreed to the proposal of marriage of someone to his daughter. If the father didn't agree, then the marriage wouldn't take place.
Perhaps in their culture, the approval of someone is required. Who are you to put modern morlas and ethics in somebody else's game? If it's in their culture, then you've gotta deal with how it is when you're then and there.
>rogue bard
>see pic
>>44727782
He knows of your homosexuality. Hide, quickly.
>>44727790
>If it's in their culture, then you've gotta deal with how it is when you're then and there.
Very well. We'll start a grand conquest of the halfling kingdom and eradicate their barbaric culture.
>>44727810
>Very well. We'll start a grand conquest of the halfling kingdom and eradicate their barbaric culture.
And so the NE campaign started
>>44727249
Man, his kingdome must be filled with amputees if he keeps giving female hands away like that.
>>44727810
>[insert zombie army after gay marriage campaign screencap here]
>>44727838
>NE
It's not evil to remove the taint of barbaric cultures from the face of the planet, anon. It is a most noble endeavor to uplift people from their own ignorance.
>>44727872
kek
>>44727876
>It is a most noble endeavor to uplift people from their own ignorance.
You're assuming again that they do things out of ignorance and not because they like the simplicity of it or it is in their nature to do so.
Halflings may differ from humans on a rational level.
>>44727891
Then they require human guidance to do things properly. Let's get to conquering!
>>44727895
Then you're suppressing their halfling nature, effectively making them suffer and that warrants your character the NE alignment. Because he's a human supremacist.
>>44727876
bruh, we've been trying to uplift the barbaric peoples of the middle east for centuries and it's been nothing but a pain in the ass. Some ain't worth it, let 'em alone and exterminate them if they ever try to take your lands.
>>44727908
Spreading the truth of proper governance and just society to a species that would otherwise be unable to come up with it themselves could never be evil. It is most certainly Good to spend our time and effort trying to save this miserable race from the barbarity inherent in their savage nature and lacking mental faculties.
>>44727760
I don't understand how strong and handsome is somehow opposite to rogue bard.
>>44727249
I'm sorry, honorable king, but I've taken a cow of celibacy.
>>44727931
That went really well for the injuns, but I digress.
Halfling nature is that they do how they've done it all this time and if you want to change it and warp their carefree rationality you are NE, because you are forcing your way of living on another race.
>>44727945
Poor cow
>>44727249
>the Halfling King has rewarded you for saving his life by offering you the hand of the fairest Halfling maiden in his kingdom
>MFW
>>44727966
I know, you haven't gotten any loot. Sorry murderhobo
>>44727696
Faggot.
At least get monetarily compensated.
I cut her hand off and tell the king I shall treasure it always.
>>44727975
I'm confused. Is a cow of celibacy like a cow that you take around with you and fuck whenever the urge arises so that that way you can remain celibate? That's a very strange practice, indeed, and I do not think I would much like to travel with you.
>>44727956
>>44727931
Of course, you're NE only if the Halfling mind works differently than the human's.
If Halflings think the same as humans do, then you're LE at best.
>>44727353
>google that
Well there goes my 3 months of not masturbating, I guess.
>>44727997
He could just be LG but misguided. Only a sith deals in moral absolutes.
>>44727986
I don't need money right now. Maybe some other time.
>>44728005
Not really, because straight up declaring war to conquer a nation, killing thousands of soldiers who are following orders of their lawful neutral king is still evil.
Shoulda tried diplomacy first.
>>44728005
Then DnD was made by a Sith because the system only makes sense if moral absolutes exist. Otherwise nearly everyone would be good because their actions are righteous from their own point of view.
>>44727876
>>44727891
>>44727928
>>44727931
DEUS VULT MY BRETHREN.
WE WILL BRING THE LIGHT OF CIVILIZATION TO THESE GODLESS HEATHENS ABD CAST DOWN THEIR FOUL CULTURE, FOR IT DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THE SAME VALUES OURS DOES.
>>44728019
Leeray get your stupid Star Wars shit outta my DnD.
>>44728020
>assuming they are godless
>assuming they are heathens
>>44728020
"Hey, king, is the maiden down to getting married?"
"Of course Ser Knight! Why don't you meet her your self?"
[Cute halfling comes in and gives the 'I want the D' face]
Problem solved.
>>44728051
Ah, I've been had!
>>44728049
You missed it as well, superman.
>>44728051
>>44727991
Vow. VOW of celibacy.
>>44728002
>>44727353
>>44727755
Aaah, awesome. I needed something new to read. Thanks for this, mates.
>>44727249
I accept.
What am I suppose to do with it now?
>>44728128
kek
>>44728128
Use it to jerk off.
>>44727249
I accept, on the condition she be dressed like this
>>44727270
Tell me about it.
>>44728165
What kind of possibilities are we talking about?
>>44728164
I haven't been on LotRO in long, long time.
>>44727249
>>44727249
Guess we'll just have to deal with it...She's fun sized and fits in a backpack. What's not to love?
>>44728178
Feet.
>>44728178
Oh, long time since I saw those image sets on pixiv. People have a weird fetish for gender-bending characters. I'm not sure how to feel about it.
>>44728176
Nobody has.
Old MMOs don't die, they just fade away.
>>44728178
Bilmoe is the most personally confusing thing I've seen on /tg/, to be honest.
>>44727249
Thanks but no thanks.
Just have people spread word so i get a decent reputation with your people and the business i own can prosper easier with the advertisement.
why did everyone need to have a rape argument gb2tumblr meltdown over the anon who made a paladin joke?
>>44728445
wheredoyouthinkyouare.tiff
>>44727249
LEGAL LOLI
E
G
A
L
L
O
L
I
>>44727249
>offering you the hand of the fairest Halfling maiden in his kingdom
Only if I can take it myself, with witnesses, to confirm that does indeed belong to the fairest one.
If the king is a liar and the hafling is not the fairest in the kingdom, then I shall instead take a hand from the king's daughter. Or from an appropriate relative or friend if he has no daughters.
>>44727249
What kind of backwards society uses hands as currency?
>>44730308
halflings.
>be halfing rogue in AD&D
>Just recently slew a mated pair of Shadow Dragons for the King
>Hoard gave me and the party so much money it'd be absurd to ask the king for more
>Ask for titles and end up becoming a baron
>Save halfling king now and be offered a wife
Shit man One king gives me land and titles now the next wants me to have a wife. I am liking these new quest rewards
>>44730308
>What kind of backwards society uses hands as currency?
>inb4 congo free state
Well, not quite a currency. Basically, rubber quotas were unrealistic when belgium ruled the Congo, so people started taking hands as proof they were punishing villagers for not working hard enough. Also used as proof that soldiers weren't wasting bullets, each hand was basically a way of confirming a kill.
>>44727353
>unironically liking SameFace
>>44727249
Sweet, I love hands!
>>44727669
TK was the best thing about that show.
Damn budget cuts cucking us out of seeing his backstory and squaring away his regrets.
>>44727353
Thanks for that
>>44727736
>implying the king isn't the fairest maiden and he's not consenting
>>44727736
also fuck off /tumblr/ rape culture garbage
>>44728178
Bilmoe is best.
>>44727688
>Not romancing your arranged spouse and being romanced in turn until you're properly in love, THEN fucking like rabbits
It's like you guys don't understand how marriage worked for hundreds of years.
Hell yeah.
>king will eventually die
>his daughter inherits everything
>halfling taxes
>access to possible Royal Army of halflings
>King of the Halflings
>Loyal Halfling wife
>Mo fuggin lifetime supply of pipe weed
>>44730641
>unironically having shit taste
>>44732659
That's what I said, yeah
>>44732545
That's not how you become king. She'll be the queen. You'll be prince-consort.
>>44732545
You say that as if the king has no other heirs (or other claimants), and that his eldest daughter and the fairest halfling maiden are the same person.
The halfling king could easily have multiple princes and brothers ready to inherit the throne when he dies. And the title of "fairest halfling maiden in the land" might not be royalty at all. Knowing the fantasy genre, the fairest halfling maiden is probably some peasant working in a bar somewhere.
>>44727249
>fairest Halfling maiden in his kingdom
Oh my
>>44727755
Lesbians are not real.
>>44733836
Okay
>>44727249
"I'm not a lesbian. Gold will do nicely."
>>44734308
>I'm not a lesbian
Not with that attitude.
>>44732786
You say that like the king-consort/prince-consort position isn't riddled with benefits.
>>44727755
>mfw I don't care about lesbians
>Halfling
>King
Funny joke
>>44735190
Not to mention dat sweet, shortstack lovin'.
awww yissss shortstacks
>>44730641
>le same face maymay
must suck to hate fun
>>44737332
Sameface makes the artist a bad artist, but it doesn't necessarily make the art bad art.
>>44727249
>I accept
>and am immediately beat the fuck out by the man who has already married her
>Samwise Gamgee.
>>44738859Genderbent frodo is an excellent choice m8.
>>44727249
But then who will bare me children? Or am I supposed to save the Elf Queen next?
>>44728128
>>44728135
>>44728139
>>44739399
I guess you could say things are getting out ofhand
>>44736741
What are you, gay?
>>>44727699
>>implying you can offer something that isn't yours
Fun fact: In medieval europe most crimes weren't punishble for transgressing a statute but for denying a king his property. Rape? Soiling the King's property. Murder? Denying the king a perfectly good citizen. Theft? Taking the King's stuff (and everything belongs to the king)
That's the gist of it anyway. So unless the halfling King has had his powers limited by the nobility, clergy or parlament he might actually be well within his rights to just hand you maiden.
>>44740815
godDAMMIT CARLOS
>>44730526
This is sad
>>44741233
>unless the halfling King has had his powers limited by the nobility, clergy or parlament
Also, if he actually is a sovereign, he could probably just do it if he really wanted to.
Though it would be pretty embarrassing for the king to offer something he couldn't actually give.
>As thanks for saving my life, I shall offer you the fairest halfling maiden in the realm!
>But your grace, the three fairest maidens are daughters of nobles and freemen! You don't have the authority to give them!
>FINE! The fairest halfling maiden I CAN give, then! The fourth fairest in the land, plus her weight in gold!
>>44741233
>>44741578
This sounds an awful like tyranny to me buddy. Perhaps the hobbit king should step down.
>>44741657
If Plato's so smart, how come he's dead?
Checkmate.
>>44743211
>Plato
>dead
Nice try Thrasymachus
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>44727249
Tell him I don't do midgetsRoll to score a field goal
The Fairest you say? Excellent, I could use a reasonable woman on my team to ensure that our actions are equitable and honest, favoring no one desire above another.
Onward, to glory and victory! May she one day return to these lands knowing that while the universe is unfair, the good folk need not be and where inequality and wrong exists we shall right it! TALLY-HO.
>>44743730
We shall be best of companions. True and Chaste as the Lord intended.
>>44741233
>assuming real-world values apply to a fantasy race that differs from humans
>>44727249
Literally her hand?
But OP, I'm into tall girls.
>>44743625
>Plato
>Not searching for an honest man
ISHYGDDT
