.>Military turns to /v/irgins to pilot their mechs to fight kaijus.
How do you explain this in a way that makes sense?
>>44589039
I can't, I'm sorry.
You don't, because worrying about making sense is dumb.
For a way which is funny and context appropriate, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw8XQ3vdW_4
>>44589039
I wouldn't bother. I'd just go full anime and make everything else in the setting equally wacky, so something like that just gets accepted as within the tone of a totally-not-serious universe.
>>44589039
Have them pilot them by remote, and get the /v/irgins that play mechwarrior/armored core.
>>44589039
They're powered by self loathing
That way anyone on 4chan can use them
>>44589039
/v/irgin computer genius was independently working on some technology for his own gaming purposes but it turns out that with a little tweaking from govt scientists, it works great as a facilitator for mech piloting
but time is short, the only people who are familiar enough with the tech to really use it well are the /v/irgin and his fedoralord homies
>>44589039
The mech AI was programmed by Japanese scientists and it always feel a strong romantic sexual attraction to it's pilots. No one has any idea how to fix it in time so now they need people degenerate enough to want to clang with giant mechs to pilot it.
>>44589039
"When President Trump made anime real, nobody could have foreseen the consequences."
If anybody asks again, technobabble until they are satisfied.
/v/?
Now you have 2 things destroying the world. Good fucking job, idiot.
>>44589039
you dont
>>44589039
The AI core of the mech is based on the neural patterns of Anons, meaning it will only accept a pure, virgin, Japanese or Aryan waifu as a pilot.
They made Evas.
Existential crisis is mandatory for piloting
Find virgins with high sex drives and fetishes. Mechs have a chance to overwhelm the senses of the users. Flooding the terminal with porn gives the pilot incentive resist the overwhelming bounce back of the senses from the mech in order to regain control.
Extra angst if you require two pilots who are virgins and in a relationship, and their sex drive towards eachother is a control mechanism. They would not be allowed to consummate their relationship until the threat to earth is free from danger. Sex becomes a tabboo for them because plot.
>>44589039
>.>Military turns to /v/irgins to pilot their mechs to fight kaijus.
But she isn't military, she's a Twitch gamer who found an alternate revenue stream.
Turns out the control scheme for the game Steel Battalion was a perfect match to how modern mechas work, so instead of spending months training a bunch of mecha pilots from scratch, the first generation of Mecha pilots were /v/irgins got selected.
Boom.
>>44589144
>Trump
>making anime real
You have to wait until 2016 and Ron Paul's reappearance for that
>>44589386
>tfw still living in 2012
>>44589039
Only a true /v/irgin is scrawny and malnourished enough to fit into a mech, while still maintaining the reaction times and relative intelligence to pilot it.
>>44589495
What about all the fat neckbeards though?
>>44589039
The 'world' is actually a space colony overseen by a confused, but benevolent AI who had made everyone believe it's a certain year when really it's hundreds of years into the future. It has kept up its directive of making everyone happy and its directive of ensuring that defence training takes place through using video games. The best vidya players are in fact the ones most suited to defend the space colony when another colony finds it and attacks.
>>44589526
They're not pure enough
>>44589039
Make it so that the semi-sentient, quasi-organic mechs need a human being utterly detached from reality and society, preferably someone who is blinded by nostalgia and maybe even autism from anything quaint like rationality or logic. A person whose mind is just human enough for them not be a senseless animal, but certainly far from having meaningful thoughts.
The pilots are more the organic component necessary for true AI to move the machines, and the need as little mental activity going on as possible.
This way, they could also get people from /a/, /co/, half the population of /o/, a good number of /k/, a couple of the OP's and all the posters from CYOA threads here in /tg/, and all the /wsg/ sauce-beggars. I'm sure the rest of the boards have meat to offer, as well.
>>44589039
>>44589090
>>44589210
The military already uses video games to train tank drivers and fighter and UAV pilots, it's completely plausible.
>>44589039
Make the controls for the mechs so needlessly complicated that only the strongest of autists can figure them out.
>>44592545
This. Not to mention Dotafags makes for a more horrorfying drill instructor than a chaplain.
>ctrl+f 'newtype'
>0 results
obvious answer
>>44589259
Evas actually have an in-universe reason for their pilots, though.
The giant "robots" (actually huge lobotomized humans) contain the soul of the pilot's mother in at least two cases, and (an earlier copy of) the sane soul of the pilot in another.
>>44589039
Maximum pandering.
Pitch to overly religious teen church goers
With religious over tones
>>44589039
>dva
>"/v/irgin"
Lmao, no.
You mean pewpewdiepie or PLD or any proplayer/famous videogame guy.
>But again, implying /tg/ knows jackshit about anything at all
>>44594063
Explain
![tumblr_inline_myqog5NEQV1rvrdav[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/dfcAE6c.gif "tumblr_inline_myqog5NEQV1rvrdav[1].gif")
>>44589039
Todays youths have been conditioned neurologically to accept rapid and varied sensory input and to react in a meaningful fashion as a result of their exposure to constant media, videogames, and possibly VR.
As a result, they're the only ones whose brains can accept the neural interface required to pilot the mech's successfully - or at least with a high success rate. Not only that, age increases the rejection rate due to cellular degradation, so pilots rarely stay viable past the age of 30.
Scientists are confident they can overcome these limitations in a generation or two, but in the mean time those Kaiju aren't going to shoot themselves.
A better more autistic question is why the mech's are necessary to fight Kaiju over a conventional military at all.
>>44589336
>Turns out the control scheme for the game Steel Battalion was a perfect match to how modern mechas work, so instead of spending months training a bunch of mecha pilots from scratch, the first generation of Mecha pilots were /v/irgins got selected.
But like two people played that fucking game.
>>44595739
>pro players and pewdiepie are somehow related
you don't know jackshit about shit either, friendo
>>44595896
>mech's are necessary to fight Kaiju over a conventional military at all.
because the actual military is lame as shit, they don't even have elbow rockets or oppai missiles
>>44597586
Well if you're not willing to knock out a wall to bring the controller inside, you're just not dedicated enough for the mech program
>>44589039
>How do you explain this in a way that makes sense?
Use any one of the myraid movies/comics/games/books/anime that have done exactly the same thing.
>Ctrl+f starfighter
>0 results
ya'll are millennials thru and thru
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087597/
>>44597876
Both are "internet celebrities" of sorts (or more precisely, "youtube celebrities") - they shill for (and against) each other on regular basis.
>>44589039
All military endeavors are now e-sports the world-government uses to keep the population unaware of it's global domination, streamed through the skynet and the "armies", now teams, are sponsored by the corporations that run each sector.
The kaiju are produced by an "evil rogue corp" in the evil land of north korea, a subsidiary of google, to interfere with the war games.
>>44595812
Mobafags in general rage pretty hard
>>44589546
>>44589495
Are there more of these? Does tg have a dude?
>>44600250
>not knowing about Board-tans
newfag.
>>44589039
Step 1: BUILD TANKS FAGGOTS
Step 2: BUILD MISSILES FAGLORDS
Step 3: shoot kaijus with tanks and missiles.
Step 4: shoot the guy who suggested mechs in the dick.
>>44601463
I don't think you understand the concept of premises.
>>44601475
Remove kaiju from premises?
Bliss Stage
>>44589039
D.Va isn't just some /v/irgin. She's an undefeated Starcraft pro and by all accounts from her backstory, incredibly gifted mentally. Let me emphasise - undefeated. She's operating on autistic savant levels in a nation that has an industry built on producing autistic savants. It basically means she has nigh-peerless reaction times, planning, and ability to process multiple events happening at once.
It's a silly comic book universe, but she joined the military, became part of their MEKA programme and whaddayaknow, she's incredibly good at it.I get that this thread isn't necessarily about Overwatch but I really like the game and its silly universe because its fun and dumb
>>44601547It's funny because there are no female SC2 pros anymore, just a Canadian tranny.
Kids are genetically modified to pilot.
I.E experimental direct to play plugins and more G-force resistance.
They are fielded because The War/Alien Invasion happens 10 years earlier than it should have.
![marinelepen[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/60ga9aH.jpg "marinelepen[1].jpg")
>>44589144
>>44589386
Oh please, we all know that Marine will remove kebab, make anime real and make France the #1 mech producer of the world.
>>44601603
If Marine removes kebab, who will handle the dangerous, tiring and demeaning construction of the mechs?
Checkmate frontistes.
![File%20Photo%20Marine%20Le%20Pen[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/I8PDtdF.jpg "File%20Photo%20Marine%20Le%20Pen[1].jpg")
>>44601618
>If Marine removes kebab, who will handle the dangerous, tiring and demeaning construction of the mechs?
Corsicans
>>44601650
Oh, my bad.
Carry on, then.
>>44601618
Mexicans or hindus.
Third-worlders who actually excel at mechanics and don't think civilization is evil.
>>44599181
>>44597876
They also both play on tournaments (Example: Kripparian, PLD).
![64281a4e19d29a9f7a9e9feec0bcd34e[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0noBmd7.jpg "64281a4e19d29a9f7a9e9feec0bcd34e[1].jpg")
>>44594152
O HI
>>44601938
Mexico isn't third world though, it's the prime example of a second world country. Of course they still have their Narco's, but it's not like America was ever devoid of gang activity. In fact, Mexican and American gang activity are two sides of the same coin: they're all related to the drug flow from South American producers to US consumers.
>>44601986
>Using Rebuild shit as canon
>>44602014
You can hate it all you want, it's still as canon as TV.
>>44602027
YOUR MOM IS CANON, FAGGOT
>>44601938
>>44602012
>using first/second/third world designation in a post soviet world
lads
>>44602012
That isn't what third world means. Mexico was a third world country because it wasn't an ally of the USA/UK and it wasn't an ally of the USSR.
>>44602053
>>44602069
>Still living in the 60s
Bruh
>>44599157
Damn dude, you beat me to it, love that movie
>>44589039
The way Godzilla 2000 novel did it
>>44595896
Because Kaiju wreck the shit out of conventional military as a matter of course.
A state of total war was declared
People's education and training would dictate their placement in the war machine
Individuals deemed unusable and undesirable were conscripted into high risk, experimental weapons field testing
For those that survived, re-integration awaited them
for those who failed, only glory on the battlefield
That's as close as I can get to arguing for autism as a defence program
>>44589039
spike the cool aid before the players start drinking
>>44601463
sup /k/omando
>>44602383
Shame you drunk it yourself :D
>>44601463
God damn it /k/, a cornerstone of Kaiju films and fiction is that conventional warfare is absolutely ineffective against Kaiju.
>>44589039
The mechs are actually considered the expendable troops on the fields against kaiju: Impractical, non efficient, but easy to rebuild and big enough to attract a focused attention of a kaiju while the military enact evacuations and the actual extermination of the kaiju as it can be a time consuming process.
Trained troops are better on the field or piloting vehicles, the mecha pilots are just big distractions with a high casualty rates; hiring from /v/irgins is the best because they are not needed in the society, not cared for but are already trained to use joystick controls in a rapidly changing situation and have enough delusion or self esteem to try entering (or being convinced to enter) in the project.
The mecha has neural torture or execution devices in case the pilot decides to go mad mid fight and not act like ordered.
Why don't they use AI or control them from afar? The kaiju are especially adapted to disrupt delicate signals like that with their massive biological electricomagnetic field.
The population is conditioned to treat the robots as heroes rather than sacrifical lambs.
>>44589039
The military is staffed with idiots, thanks to president Trump's program to get "real Americans" in charge.
>>44602450
Over 50 years later and the M1 Carbine still functions as intended. You're lucky if you can say that about a woman after even 10 years.
>>44602554
just stick mech weapons on tanks and planes
The entire military was wiped out in the earlier parts of the war, before the robots were entirely finished. Additionally, the interface to control the robots requires some experience with computer shit.
If you want to go for extra kicks, the robots can be produced more easily than pilots can be trained, and there's no downside to grabbing expendable NEETs.
>>44602554
That's because their guns don't hit hard enough.
Just build a gun that does. And remember, if all else fails, there is the castaba howitzer.
If that can't kill the thing you want dead, nothing else can and you are fucked.
>>44603203
This kills the weabs.
>>44589039
What is
>WarGames
>Last Starfighter
>Ender's Game
>Gamer
>The Phantom Menace (podracing = piloting)
>Toys
>Tron
>Scott Pilgrim
>
There should be a name for this genre where video game skills = real life fighting / piloting skills etc.
>>44589099
Underrated post.
>>44589039
The military already targets /v/irgins for recruitment
>>44603295
Does, does that use a nuke to fire a lump of tungsten?
>>44603658
Last Starfighter yea, and I'll give you TPM and Tron i guess, but I don't think you've actually seen/read the rest of them.
>>44603856
Yes.
Adjust the yield and mass as needed. It's quite an old concept.
>>44603856
Actually it fires a cone of tungsten plasma.
>>44603882
>Movies where a character's video game prowess translates to combat application in a real life scenario.
>>44589039
>Military turns to /v/irgins to pilot their mechs to fight kaijus.
>How do you explain this in a way that makes sense?
They literally all go about the same premise through different means.
>>44604258
Ender Wiggin didn't play video games though. He had live combat simulations that was for simulating command over a spacefleet.
>>44601557
>who is aphrodite
but I think she's gone now
>>44589099
>They're powered by self loathing
So NGE?
>>44589039
Have you never seen The Last Starfighter?
No, wait. I forgot /v/irgins don't actually play video games.
>>44604280
>live combat simulation
>not a video game
Also, before he played the zero gravity war game, he played a number of other games in the Academy that he quickly got bored with.
He also played the VR game that had a clear goal, and required an amount of strategy to beat IE a video game.
>>44603882
Also, I'll give you that about Toys....I was pretty young when it came out, and hadn't seen it since then.
>>44601650
>Corsicans
>Working
Hah!
>>44589039
brain synch
your brain patterns have to conform to a very rare specific wavelength as perfectly as possible; turns out that shut in virgin NEETs have an overwhelming overrepresentation of such rare wavelength compared to normie population. Simply being an extrovert or being non virgin quickly botchs your wavelength and your synch rates plummet.
Fleeing and hiding from succubus saboteurs sent by enemy forces to cripple the pilots would be a real thing.
>>44599847
you never played cs with russiansor me
>>44589039
Somehow having a 300+ APM and fantastic micro skills makes them effective mecha pilots and tacticians
>>44589039
Look up RAD, which is basically people controlling giant robots to fight the monster of the week using PS2 controllers in the game.
>>44589039
>How do you explain this in a way that makes sense?
>Implying this need explanation
>>44589039
the mech controls are almost identical to the controls for a popular mech arcade game. even the top soldiers they train for it aren't as good as the sweaty tournament-level players, so they're recruited.
They've been secretly releasing training simulators disguised as mecha video games for years and monitoring who's good to recruit them.
>>44606886
I kinda wanna see that produced, just for shits and giggles.
>>44606886
>>44606973
>Forgetting a system to pump the cockpit/pilot full of estrogen while they pilot the frame
>Not including a side arc about research to produce more feminine males so they can increase angelframe production
>>44606886
>>44589039
>Military releases a training VR simulation for their new giant robots
>The game mimics the UI of their standard issue secret giant robots
>soldiers with a background as gamers tend to excel at piloting them
>Military wants to train gamers as pilots but only wants the cream of the crop
>Military releases training program as a video game
>The game has dedicated VR equipment for cheap
>Game popularity explodes
>A tournament is declared, the winner gets a fabulous prize
>It is a mystery, tought.
>Lots of players start dedicating themselves to mastering the game
>When the tournament is over, the military "volunteers" the winner and the runner ups into their mech piloting program.
>Their complaints are silenced with cold, hard cash.
>They now have to train to become an effective unit
>>44607153
>soldiers with a background as gamers
Or, in other words, soldiers. It always astounds me how few people realize that gaming consoles are about as highly-valued as good porn when on deployment.
>>44602361
>>44602801
Fund it.
>>44604323
Nobody cares, she never did anything outside of all-female tournaments, despite attempts to shoehorn her into the scene because they wanted a token female.
>>44607958
I wasn't talking about people who enjoy to play videogames.
But people who play instead of living their lives.
Soldiers whose PRIMARY hobby was gaming scored higher on the VR simulation.
The "plan" is to acclimate turbonerd gamers into soldiers, which is easier than asking a private to drop everything he enjoys to play videogames
>highly-valued as good porn
What about porn games, eroge and the like? Or do they just have good taste and avoid that?
>>44589039
>mechs
>making sense
pick one and only one.
>>44589039
In this day and age if they haven't lost it by age 16 they never will. This means the ONLY true use they have left is to die in the seats of highly experimental mechs against extremely deadly enemies.
>>44602554
We'll build a bigger tank, then.
>>44611156
Y'know, if i ever tried to design a mech i would just replace the turret with a stocky mech torso on top of the tank threads
I couldn't justify arms over a cannon, tho'.
Maybe if the arms house cannons so that you can aim much faster.
But that easy-to-hit enormous profile... Damn it practicity, why do you have to be so hard to please?
>>44606886
This is my fetish.
>Mechs.
Tanks are like a turtle, the Kaiju can just knock them over with massive earth quakes/shockwaves/whateverthefuck they have up their sleeves.
Mechas can get back up or regain their footing.
>/v/.
It's played like a video game.
>>44611435
How about mechs, being an imitation of a life form plus being fuckhuge, cause an intimidation effect that makes Kaijus not only focus on them, but actually unnerves them and makes them fight-able?
>Above-average reaction time
>Can stay seated for hours on end
>Hand-eye coordination
>Familiarity with computers
>Obsession with staying competitive
>Can perform hundreds of actions in seconds
High-level esports players could probably make good candidates for that.
