It's 20,010 BC, at a valley which several millenniums later will belong to France. You, young homo sapiens man called Kunik, was taking a walk in a small forest, which was a hill or two away from his clan's current settlement.
Back at the huts, the elders and Leader were discussing a possible division of the clan - they had started to become "too many" for the amount of territory they currently held. You, like any other female and unwed male, had to give them privacy.
You sigh, bored, and sit on the edge of a small rocky cliff, just a few feet high. From a pocket in your pelt toga, you pull something out to entertain yourself until you could think of something more interesting to do.
Choose one. This choice will determine your main talent.
>You pull out a Venus figurine, and start to work on her with a small stone to give her a more polished finish. You're quite the craftsman. Stone, wood, bone or pelt - it's not much of a challenge for you. This figurine is also the closest thing you have to a wife, currently.
>You pull out your trusty sling and start to practice some shots against trees. This isn't the only weapon you're good with though - you're pretty badass with hunting in general. You can rather reliably track and kill prey successfully, and you're in pretty good shape. However, you're far from being good enough to be regularly invited to hunts.
>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
>Write in any other additional actions/details and I'll consider them. No guarantees though.
>>44582983
>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
Addict Quest is go.
>>44582983
bumpity
Maybe right now isn't the best time for quests. I'll wait and see.
>You pull out your trusty sling and start to practice some shots against trees. This isn't the only weapon you're good with though - you're pretty badass with hunting in general. You can rather reliably track and kill prey successfully, and you're in pretty good shape. However, you're far from being good enough to be regularly invited to hunts.
Stone Age Sniper is a go
>>44582983
>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
>>44582983
>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
>>44582983
>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
>>44583075
>Stone Age Stoner
>>44582983
>>You pull out some opium powder and get high. You're well-versed in the more mystical aspect of the world, and the arts of the mind and spirit. You're not a proper shaman per se though (and you're far from becoming one) but you're familiar with drugs, superstition and diplomacy.
Good old opium powder. You take a deep sniff at your stashed secret blend of poppy, mint and spices and lay on the floor, staring at the evening sky. Soon enough, it kicks in, and you feel like the king of the world. Who needs a wife to make you feel good when you've got herbs like these! Nature must've made them for something, right?
You felt too good to really concern yourself further, and just remained with a dopey smile on the ground for a good while.
Then, something came into view. It was a large.. .Black, stone thing with harsh angles. It loomed over you.
"H-Hello... Kunik." it said, in a deep, mellow tone, while making odd, chirping noises.
"H-Help me...."
>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
>Ignore him. He must be some illusion thing because of the opium you're taking.
>Throw some "spiritslayer" herbs to its "face". Aint no fucked up forest demons gonna bother you this evening.
>Write in.
>>44583434
>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
>>44583434
>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
Sharing is caring?
>>44583434
>>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
>>44583434
Uh, is this going to be your spirit animal? It's a bit...boring, can you tell it to just like go away?
>>44583434
>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
"Hey, dude. Have some opium" you tell him, and you clumsily try to lift yourself up into a seated position.
"O-piu - No, l-listen" the "thing" replies.
"Dude, just sniiiff it in - ah. You don't seem to have a nose..." you reply, swaying. "That's funny. Heheheh."
"KUNIK!" it bellowed, and floated closer. You could see your reflection on its polished surface. "As unfortunate as... I-I have been. I require your h-help."
The chirping became suddenly louder for a moment, but then subsided back to its normal faint whirr.
"I need materials, Kunik. I need to f-f-fix myself." it added.
You raise a hand with some opium to him again with a persuasive smile, tilting your head a bit to a side.
"And i-it' not opium!" it added. "I need copper."
"What's a copper?" you ask.
"Metal." it replied. "Hard to f-find and extract, found in the ground."
You tilt your head and breath through your teeth. "Well, you know, man..." you start.
"I-I'll repay you." the thing interrupted. "What do you want?"
"What can you offer?" you wonder.
"A-anything" it replies. "Longevity? Knowledge? J-just be reasonable."
>Write in.
>>44583434
>Pffft, offer him some opium too.
>>44583755
>I would like to have control over the weather.
>>44583755
>How to conquer the souls of men.
>>44582983
>unwed
>Implying stone age fuckers knew the concept of marriage.
>>44583783
"Uhm. I can't do that. How about predicting weather?"
>>44583792
"Conquer how, exactly? Romantically? Persuasively?"
>>44583755
>Tell me how I can get more Opium?
>>44583755
Give me recipes for better drugs
>>44583755
>Longevity
Vandal Savage will except nothing short of immortality for such an excessive request for copper.
>>44583826
Persuasively.
>>44583913
I agree with this one
>>44583903
>>44583866
>>44583857
>>44583913
The big "thing" tilts to a side, and then seem to straighten up.
"You've got many desires, and I believe I can provide to most of them with this: Anesthetics." it says.
"Anes what?" you wonder.
"Anesthetics. It allows you to cut off sensation, completely." it explains.
"Sure, that sounds cool, however, how does that help me with anything, heh?" you question.
"It's a much better "pain reliever" than opium. It cuts off all pain." it says. "Shamans everywhere will want it for treating the most difficult injuries. You'll be able to bargain with the power to save lives."
"Of course, I'll give you a sample for you to try out if this offer is alright for you."
>"You have a deal."
>"Nah, I want something else".
>"Write in."
>>44584009
>"Nah, I want something else".
Like what if I could make drugs from my body?
>>44584009
>"You have a deal."
>>44584009
>"You have a deal."
On condition that the anesthetic's dosage alters the effect. A smaller dose can cause general anesthesia, or topical anesthesia if applied to a small area. A larger dose will cause intense euphoria and mild hallucinations.
That way we can barter the new material for both medical and spiritual purposes.Let's call this fantasy-drug Jew, because I want to hear ancient tribesmen talking casually about drying and curing raw Jew for a smokeout later.
>>44584258
>not calling it Dong
>>44584009
So do you like pick the copper up from the ground or what?
>>44584283
>nurse, the patient needs 15cc of Floppy Dongs, stat!
>>44584295
Calcopyrite, Pyrite.
Surface minerium that contain copper.
>>44584406
How doy you need to process that to get the metallic copper? I'm totally not building a blast furnace out of sticks and stones.
>>44584474
I bet the monolith can do that himself.
That said, it is probably a temperature below 1000C, you can get copper at a temperature below the one you need to get Iron. So it shouldn't be that hard.
(I am actually asking a geologist as I write but he hasn't worked/studied in 30+ years)
>>44584258
(OOC: I don't want to get in trouble for stuff lol, so I'm altering the name to "Juw")
"Alright." the thing replies."That will require a specific recipe, then."
Suddenly, the machine whirrs loudly and from it surface, a long red and white "seed" poped out.
"That's a dose of Juw. It's a type of anesthetic. This is a concentrated dose - It will cause euphoria and hallucinations when ingested. You can try to break it down into smaller doses, if you'd like."
"How much more Juw will I get when I get you the copper?" you wonder.
"None. But I'll teach you how to make as many as you want." it replies.
"Ah, cool. Fair enough. Who are you by the way?"
"Monolith." it replies.
"Cool. I'm Kunik. But you seem to already know that."
"Yeah" it says.
"What are you? A Spirit? A God?" you ask
"I'm... A Spirit, I guess." he replies. "Something like that."
"You seem like a cool guy, Monolith. Will you be around here or do you live somewhere...?"
"You're surprisingly casual, Kunik." Monolith replies. "But, yes. I'll be here."
"Cool."
The tribe meeting seems to have ended, you can see some people heading back to the huts. It's getting pretty dark too.
Choose any two of the following:
>Stay with Monolith, and write in some questions for him
>Ingest the pill.
>Finish all this 'ere Opium.
Go back to the village
>...And get some early sleep.
>...And talk to Leader about the Monolith you've found and the quest for copper.
>...And talk to a friend about this copper issue, and see if they can help you out.
>...And show the pill to the clan's shaman.
>...And try to talk/hit on a cute girl.
>Write in anything else.
>>44584512
>Stay with Monolith, and write in some questions for him
How did you get here?
How did you make that dose of Juw?
What do you need the copper for?
>try to talk/hit on a cute girl.
One with big tits.
>millenniums
Millennia.
>>44584567
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/millennium
>millennium (plural millennia or millenniums)
>millenniums
I know my last post has quite a lot of grammur errors (>>44584512), sorry about that.
>>44584512
Take the Juw to the clan's shaman, split it down the middle, trip together.
Then tell him about the Monolith's condition for obtaining moar drugs, and devise a plan. If we can still feel our tongue.
>>44584618
Why the fuck would we let anyone in on this?
Just no.
>>44584512
Stay with the monolite. Ask what surface copper looks like, then go find a friend and describe it. Tell him a god asked us to get it for a quest,
>>44585097
>>44584618
Anyone in in the drugs* that is.
The drugs are oooooouuuursssss.
>>44584512
>Ingest the pill.
>Finish all this 'ere Opium
And
>...And try to talk/hit on a cute girl.
>>44584550
THIS
>>44584550
Seconding all but the bust thing.
We're a caveman, we go for hips.
>>44585212
>he does drugs
>he doesn't share them
You realize that everybody hates you, right?
>>44585312
Sharing the drugs is different from telling them they will get to know the secret of making them.
What are you an idiot?
>>44585343
Aren't we cavemen? Mortality is stupid high, life expectancy is like twenty-five years, tons of women die in childbirth and tons of children die during the first few years of life.
You don't need to focus on controlling the means of production of goods in an era where there is literally no economy.
Also you're powergaming.
And you're gay.
>>44585397
>power gaming
Jesus christ, fuck you dude, it's called wanting to do something interesting with the specific future-knowledge we are goin to get, we can always spread it before dying but why wouldn't you want to actually be "the guy who invented juw" insteaf of "random scmuck who helped the shaman invent juw"
Just fuck you.
I gtg. Will continue later
sorry
>>44585397
Aand you have no fucking idea what power gaming is.
>>44585397
5/100 women have serious complications from childbirth with a competent midwife, not even any modern interventions.
ADA shill please go, anerica already has the worst birth rates of any first world country, stop trying to kill us for fat loot.
>>44585494
>>44585517
I have no idea why you're this upset.
All I know is that it makes me feel really, really horny.
>>44585553
Because I always wanted to be a prehistoric druglord.
And I'm horny too, must be your big, thick clock, Ahmed.
I'm going to go make food, perhaps draw some important characters and then continue in this thread if its still up in 1 - 2 hours.
I'm gonna go with this as well:
>>44584550/ >>44585290
Big tits/big hips will only happens with the Leader's daughters/wives because not anyone can afford to be big in caveman times. The other cavewomen are more athletic and shaped for practicality and hard work.
For funsies, we can roll the girl's traits meanwhile (one of the Leader's daughters).
This is how it's going to be done.
>We use 2d100s:
>Choose a characteristic (for example, intelligence)
>Select a proper range
For example, for intelligence, we go from "dumb" (1) to "bright" (100).
For things that should be within a certain range - for example hips which should be "big" - the range could be from "a bit above average"(1) to "huge"(100), so that the average is "big".
>Declare to choose either to keep highest, lowest, or the average of the two numbers.
>Get result
I'll roll a trait as an example.
Rolled 98, 78 = 176 (2d100)
>>44586356
Skin tone. We're from France (>>44582983), so the average is a medium white color. So:
(1) Pale as fricks
(100) Mediterranean tan
Average the two rolls
>>44586393
Height
(1) Shorty McShorty. She is mistaken for a kid sometimes.
(100) Taller than the average male.
Average the two rolls
Rolled 41, 1 = 42 (2d100)
>>44586606
forgot to roll
Rolled 3, 58 = 61 (2d100)
>>44586356
(1) dfc
(100) cowtits
>>44587022
lowest
Rolled 55, 74 = 129 (2d100)
>>44586356
Sociability(?)
(1) Reclusive
(100) Gregarious
Average
Rolled 83, 41 = 124 (2d100)
>>44586356
Femininity
(1) Tomboy
(100) Proper Lady
Most extreme number (furthest from 50)
Rolled 34, 4 = 38 (2d100)
(1) no hips
(100) doomsday monster hips
highest
Rolled 75, 14 = 89 (2d100)
>>44586356
Intelligence
(1) Dumb as a rock
(100) Rocket scientist of the Stone Age
Average
>>44587022
20:59:10 then the correction comes 17 minutes later at 21:16:49. I prefer this to be rerolled.
Anyone can reroll tits now. Do it properly though.
Rolled 14, 42 = 56 (2d100)
>>44587991
(1) dfc
(100) doomsday monster tits
Highest
when you roll for tits you know it's going to be a shit quest, I'm out
>>44582983
Thankfully this Monolith is not the Zohar, right? Right?
>>44589965
>I'm so sad that the OP gave us an optional chargen where players PICK what to roll to give us something to do while we wait
>truly ANON'S INPUTS are the bane of modern quests
I'm glad you left.
