Let's continue the American mythology thread.
>>44578358
We could worldbuild now I guess, but I think it's more productive to focus on taking elements of American folklore and adapting them to existing game structures.
>>44579062
>pic
my sides
are we gonna stay 1930 and previous, or can we recognize the modern contributions?
>>44579088
Seems like it's fine to talk about whenever, but let's maybe try to avoid making it just American culture / pop culture.
>>44578777
You get a lot of weird stories out of Florida for two reasons. The first is that in the interests of protecting the people from possible abuse of power, every official police action has to be made available to the press, aside from personal details of individuals. That means that while weird shit happens elsewhere, it may not be learned about, while journalists may cheerfully take the most bizarre happenings of Florida and throw them up onto the internet for the world to see.
The second reason is meth.
Recap of the last thread: Monsters that live in the wilderness: Dozens of them!
Presidents and other larger than life figures.
The importance of wars, especially the Civil War but also the Revolution and the Indian Wars, in American folklore and culture.
Copying over a big post on a lot of topics:
>>44577677
>Is your aversion to magic based on christianity
Yes, but it's specifically American Christianity, where the devil is lord of the unknown and the primal/uncivilized, including hidden mysteries of magic and the wilderness, which is also why American depictions of magic often have it very sexual and/or bloody. At least in the north. The south is actually kind of opposite, with the devil popping up in a nice suit and giving people contracts and deals. Modern depictions fuse the two.
>I heard you guys had crazy witch hunts all over the place.
Well, they weren't that widespread but they occurred in our second ever successful colony, which is also the one that yankees treat as the first since the real first was slaveholders and corporate interests together with a bunch of criminals.
>mad scientist
Like Edison and Tesla. The more modern idea of the mad scientist kind of resurged because of European nazi scientists, but the shit they actually do in media is all based on those two.
>Was "the Civil War" your equivalent to the Trojan War, the Kurukshetra war, or the Cattle Raid of Cooley on a cultural level?
Trojan War is more like the Revolution. The war when America was forged out of it's raw ingredients by great political philosophers and businessmen, as well as the sweat of honest workers. The Civil War is more of an ideological divide given the blood and bones of hatred. Which one is more mythologized depends on where you stand, the north prefers the former and the south, the latter. The West doesn't have an equivalent war, really.
>I feel like the late 19th century is your "once upon a time" land of yore.
More or less, but other eras get tied in too. The myths that kids learn in school are mostly from the foundation of the union.
Let's talk about the history of each monster. I want Mothman to start this off.
>>44579088
I think late 19th century would be a good fit.
Firearms exist, but aren't quite bang-bang-bang yet aside from revolvers, winchester rifles, and primitive gattling guns. There's room for sabers.
By the way, we're forgetting mountain men!
Pic related
>>44579276
What do you mean by history? Actual history would be wikipedia browsing rather than talking here, wouldn't it?
>>44579323
I meant just posting stuff about it.
>>44579313
If this is based on mythology, The Gun That Won The West needs to be involved.
So does the gun that made all men equal.
There needs to literally be witches and there be actual with trials and burnings
Overall magic dangerous as fuck and frowned upon
The prevailing theme is "hard work" > "natural talent/cheating"
This is a new land, with various people tossed together by mysterious forces
East, West, South, North the settlers carve out a new society from scratch
Some crash landed on the coast, others woke up with their village teleported, etc.
Feel free to argue
>>44579062
If we're gonna talk about American Folklore, can we include figures like cowboys and astronauts? Those two along with pioneers have a kind of larger than life legendary persona here in America that whatever they were historically and what we actually think of them is very different.
>>44579223
Men in Black are around, nobody knows what the fuck they're about.
Sometimes they show up and mercilessly execute a room full of people for seemingly no reason.
Sometimes they'll save you from some peril and vanish.
>>44579401
Do we think of astronauts as all that special? We think of them as our best and brightest but stuck on a rocket and sent into space, normally, how is that not what they are?
>>44579401
Cowboys and pioneers are a given, astronauts feel more like a "wow that's cool" 1969 phenomenon. I mean, even the soviets had astronauts.
When most people think folkloric america they think Old West, or Antebellum South. Even colonial New England.
>>44579460
When people think of American folklore they think of bigfoot and shit.
>>44579375
>Overall magic dangerous as fuck and frowned upon
America never really depicted Magic as dangerous though. You've got shit like the witch hunts where people are cursing, but that's mostly very early new England stuff. Later on it's deals with the devil. Selling your soul to Old Scratch to get rich, or even more Americanly, betting against him. And the devil is where magic comes from. We've used that on /tg/ before, in Wild Cards.
>>44579476
19th century
>>44579446
>>44579460
In the sense that they were the modern day explorer, venturing out into the cold endless void of space. Going where no man had gone before. If that's not reminiscent of earlier American explorers, then what does?
>>44579525
You just decided that on your own, so I'm gonna ignore it on my own.
>>44579529
I guess it's reminiscent, but I'm an American myself and I've never heard of anyone mythologizing it.
>>44579515
I think the modern conception of satan that we have is a blend of two traditions.
Early northerners were puritans. the devil is very real, very hostile, and waiting to rape/torture/damn us all. He hands out powers to whomever seeks them, in return for pledging their eternal soul to him and attending nightmarish sabbaths. The vampire/werewolf panic from eastern europe spread to north america in a few places at the time. He's like Morgoth or something.
The southern devil is more charming. He's a gentleman, a trickster, a gamblin' man. Summon him at a crossroads and he'll humor your requests with a bet. A wily enough christian feller can get the best of him and walk away unscathed, maybe even with a treasure of some sort.
every folklore system needs a boogeyman. "be good, child, or Bloody Bill will get you." the man was practically a real-life Wild Hunt.
>everyone getting prescriptive
Why? Wasn't it fun, last thread, to just talk about American myth without trying to definitively say "this is what myth should be"?
>>44579538
I'm just saiyan.
Our first reports of the creature are from the 19th century.
>>44579583
>He's like Morgoth or something.
He's like Pan. Even depicted as a goat man.
>>44579590
What about ghost trains after sunset?
2 spooky
>>44579599
Oh. I guess I don't see what your reason was for bringing a date to the picture then.
>>44579590
>every folklore system needs a boogeyman
America has lots of boogeymen. People are talking about Satan right now. And Indians were the big boogeymen. Hell, people were worried enough about Indians killing them in their sleep that there's a common saying "Lord willing and the Creek don't rise" meaning "as long as some unforeseeable disaster doesn't prevent it".
>>44579595
Mt. Rushmore appears to be missing a few faces there. Strange that Washington D.C doesn't appear on there though, and Tallahassee is Florida's capital, why is Atlanta there? This map is clearly just a joke.
>>44579611
What's weirder is all the sexual imagery surrouding puritan satan.
It feels almost like the preachers wanted to touch themselves to their description of orgies with sexy witches and demons.
I mean Jesus, so much sex.
>>44579663
>Puritans
>people literally named for their opposition to sex
>it's weird that they depict Evil as sexual in nature
What is weird about this?
>>44579595
>>44579673
The use of the word "puritan" came from them, not the other way around. They wanted to be pure, which meant sex but also included other concerns of morality.
>>44579687
>>44579687
>Texas is a great empire
>East and West are shit
Gee, I wonder who could be responsible for this map.
>>44579705
>>44579642
To be fair, they were a legitimate threat. And often times launched unprovoked attacks just because they could. Tribes like the Comanche were absolutely vicious. At one point some black and white settlers lost it over an indian raid and slapped their shit together.
Reminds me of the medieval English prayer. "And spare us from the Northmen"
>>44579673
Puritans were absolutely OK with sex as long as it was between a loving husband and wife.
These people had noisy sex while their kids, parents, and other relatives just tried to ignore it. One room houses and whatnot.
You could even sue your husband or wife for not giving you enough sex.
"Be fruitful and multiply"
>you will never prop yourself up with a sword after being shot in the hip and groin so your men don't retreat
>you will never stab a murderous subordinate to death with a penknife after being shot
>you will never be a one man rear guard and protect your enlisted men with your revolver before tossing it away and fending off the enemy with a sword before riding off at full gallop with a bullet lodged in your spine
>you will never mock your former master after returning to his plantation as a free soldier
>you will never give a high pitched semi-demonic yells to scare the enemy
>you will never turn your foes into ground beef with canister shot artillery up close
>you will never have officers named "Bloody Bill", "Black Davy", "Beast", "Spoons", and "Kill Cavalry".
>you will never live in the weirdest state and defend a strategically useless location with 1000 college students against over 6,000 trained soldiers in a twisted mockery of Thermopylae
>you will never fight in a bloodthirsty unit of criminals and thugs
>you will never repulse 7 enemy attacks with nothing but rocks
I read somewhere that there's a ship graveyard in the southwest desert, going all the way back to the conquistadors
Nobody knows how the hell the so-called ships got there
>>44579242
As a Texan, we've always grown up believing (and I still largely do) that the Devil is a very real being, and he will use every tool in his arsenal to get you to do what he wants.
In human form, he is described as being bewitching handsome and charismatic, even when you know exactly who he is.
He most often uses trickery and guile because most Southerners, even nonreligious ones, have a very strong cultural aversion to submission to anybody or anything besides God, and therefore the Devil can't really use direct force to get us to do what he wants. Therefore, he has to give to get, and he knows that Southerners are suspicious of well-dressed strangers in suits because of Northern Reconstruction, so he has to offer some pretty tantalizing goods to get you to bite for what appears to me a reasonable fee (after all, not only does he actually want something in return, Southerners aren't going to bite on a deal they don't find fair because they'll suspect a trap). Sometimes the cost is small - the performance of a simple and seemingly innocuous task, giving up a random object, etc., and sometimes the cost is quite large like giving up your hands, one of your primary senses, your child, your wife, your very soul. There is always a cost, and the goods you receive will always have a catch attached to them that you won't expect. The main moral of these stories is that you can't outsmart the Devil, you can only refuse to do business with him, and anybody who thinks they can do so will pay a hefty, hefty price and forfeit their soul in the process to the prince of darkness, who does these things for unknown reasons and quite possibly just because it gets him off.
The Southern Devil will try to manipulate you into doing what he wants, and what he wants is for you to suffer.
>>44580023
I read this in the cop guy from No Country for Old Men's voice
>>44580023
>most Southerners, even nonreligious ones, have a very strong cultural aversion to submission to anybody or anything besides God, and therefore the Devil can't really use direct force to get us to do what he wants.
Well, the theological grounds for this isn't rebel pride or whatever, but the idea that Satan is allowed (by God) to tempt but not to directly persecute.
>>44580023
Good example of this:
A mans son was dying after being hit by a drunk driver. He is given maybe two, three days to live tops, and he doesn't know what to do.
A handsome stranger walks in to the hospital room where he and his wife are grieving over their sons body, and says that he's heard of their situation and is willing to help out. He and his associates can not only bring their son back, they can guarantee he'll live to be well over 100 years old to boot. All he wants is one little thing - the "procedure" required to save him "requires the use of the optic nerves of a still-living person to be successful." Your sight in exchange for the life of your child. This is a deal the man is more than willing to pay - after all, he can always get new eyes in the future, what with modern tech advancements and all. The stranger brings out some forms, tells them to sign here and here ("Just some legal paperwork and basic waivers, nothing to worry about") and then tells them they'll perform the procedure in the next day.
After the man wakes up, he asks to be wheeled next to where his son is laying. While he can't see, he can still hear the nurses and his wife marveling over how much he's recovering and how the operation was successful. He tries to talk to his son with tears of joy streaming down his face...only his son can't hear him. His son can't hear anybody. He's now completely and totally deaf. The man saved his sons life and gave up his sight, but now he can't ever see or communicate with his son again. A few days later, his wife is immediately killed in a car crash by a drunk driver, and the stranger appears again. When the man asks if he can help him again, the stranger says, "Sorry, deals already been made. We needed another person to take the place of your son, and you signed the bottom line, as you can see...oh, well I guess you can't see it, can you?"
The Devil will ruin you just for the hell of it.
>>44580104
>The Devil will ruin you just for the hell of it.
I see what you did there
>>44579160
>every official police action has to be made available to the press
That is a good principle to have.
>>44579160
>The second reason is meth.
That should've been the first reason quite frankly.
>>44580427
Yeah, but it reads more poetic to bury the lede and end on a punch like that.
So, what's the most frightening American monster?Besides the Skinshifter
>>44580862
Hodag
>>44580881
Aren't they just a tough beastie that eats dogs?
>>44580862
A Snallygaster, probably.
>>44580862
the birth certificate, look how it terrifies lieberals
>>44580862
"climate change", the invisible, imaginary monster the "scientific left" created to sow fear and misinformation
Has anyone mentioned Thunder Birds yet?
>>44579062
Here's a little somethin'-somethin' to get a bestiary started:
http://www.fearsomecreaturesofthelumberwoods.com/home.htm
>>44579276
My grandma drove across the Silver Bridge just before it collapsed. She got off of it seconds bed or it started going down. Just a little Mothman related anecdote that I've got.
I just wanna see some robber-baron type baddies running small frontier towns into the ground, and naturally you and your friends are the only ones who can stop them.
Maybe have different types of barons, like oil barons/liches who control corrupted supplies of oil (old Indian magic or somesuch) that can raise the dead? And then combine that with Edward Drinker Cope-style fossil wars to get some bitchin' oil-corrupted dinosaur skeleton undead?
>>44579687
>West Virginia stays exactly as is
Yep.
>>44580862
Illiterate goat-herders from the poorest reaches of the Earth armed with old rifles, if the Republican noise machine is to be believed.
>>44579242
Well, the west had the ... unification? Of California, which was quasi independent for a while. And there was the struggle to get mormons back into the fold, since they'd pretty much taken a huge chunk of the Midwest as their own country, even having their own banks and governance.
But, not true big shooty wars, like the Spanish American, or civil. Etc.
>>44583257
Well, we Californians do have the Spanish Missions, which were solidly-built religious forts up and down the coastline that the Spanish Catholics used as a base to subjugate/educate the Natives. Shit's surprisingly not haunted, probably due to the calming effect of religious tourists, but the Spaniards WRECKED the local population. At least one of the Missions was built by Native men whose tribewomen and children were all being held hostage somewhere they didn't know. Then, when the building was done, they killed the tougher men and threw them off a cliff onto the pile of dead children and troublemaker women, then had the rest of them get their education at the building they made.
Also, not all Californians are giga-hippies. My dad raised me on Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill, and John Henry.
>>44579595
>tfw Indianapolis is on this map
It's good to not be forgotten.
>>44580862
The Snipe.
>>44581884
>>44581898
>>44583132
so funny I laughed out loud
>>44584063
Who?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eyu3OIn5A00
The alamo, davvy crockett, jim bowie. You gotta include them if we're doing western mythology.
Song related, this is how the alamo is viewed in texas. the alamo is basically america's Thermopylae.
>>44579446
>>44579460
>>44579561
I don't know about you lot, but I've been raised right next to NASA for my entire life (KSC until 8, JSC from then on), and astronauts held an almost knightly place in my mind.
Brave wise men and ex soldiers, the finest America has to offer, being sent to where no man has gone before to expand human knowledge.
In this setting I wouldn't put Astronauts as a majorly mythologized group, but could maybe be one in a few cults/local regions.
>>44584838
This, the Alamo is so important that pissing on it will not only get you arrested and punished, but outright banned from San Antonio.
>>44579276
Well, mothman is either a space alien or more likely an extradimensional being that was sighted multiple times in point pleasant west viginia in the days leading up to the collapse of the silver bridge. He was supposedly sighted near the bridge at the time it collapsed and killed 46 people, but has never been seen afterwards in the area, leading many to speculate he is an omen of sorts, and that he was either trying to warn the people of the bridges collapse or that he in some way caused it to collapse. It is uncertain wether he wants to help or harm people, and what his overall motives are.
May be connected to the infamous men in black, as apparently a group of men dressed in black suits investigated the sightings before the bridges collapse, but there presence in the area can not be proven to a degree that would allow us to confirm they were there.
Old theores about mothman states he was the result of dumping nuclear waste in the area, but these are now considered unlikely.
Also, anybody know the name of a plantation that is supposedly haunted by the ghosts of former slaves that were tortured, foricbly bred, murdered and subjected to all other sorts of horrible things during the 1800s. It's some where up in like kentuky or tenesee or missorui or one of those states. Not the LaLaurie house though, but similar.
>>44579595
2x Carlsbad Caverns
It hurts
>>44580862
Skinshifter? Holy fuck why can you shits never write it right, it's skinwalker! Your words can hurt people.
And I really wouldn't worry about them, there's no way they could possibly exist.
>>44585686
The Mothman Prophecies is an incredible book. It is a must read. It doesn't give you answers, just presents the situation and says "This is the shit that went down, make of it what you will."
>>44584838
>>44584964
Lets make something entirely clear. Even among history buffs, only Texans really give a shit about that one time the Mexican Army whooped our asses. Theirs, if this was after Texas joined the Union.
>>44581090
My fucking fellow Marylander.
>>44579276
Going by the Statue, I'm going to assume he was some kind of Superhero.
I mean, look at this thing, it's straight out of the post-credits scene of an inspiring superhero movie. I can hear John Williams music just looking at this image.
>>44585817
>After
I mean, Before. Don't talk about history when you've got under six hours of sleep kids.
>>44585737
It marks both the entrance and the exit.
>>44585879
Looks like some Sentai villain to me.
>>44585879
That is the 50's horror version of the monster. Pic related is how it's actually described.
>>44579583
Southern devil is awesome, he is even a man of his word and quiet gentlemanly. To a point at least.
If I recall, the Mothman wasn't actually evil.
>>44586286
You're thinking of Mothra.
>>44586286
>collapsing a bridge with people on it
>not evil
>>44586321
It's not proven he did that.
That theory is the result of the fact that he was seen prior to the bridges collapse, reportedly seen at the bridge when it was collapsing (though these reports are disputed) and was never seen after it fell. There is no concrete evidnce to link him to the bridges collapse or in fact to the bridge at all. We simply have no idea why he was in point pleasant and whether he was there to cause harm or to help.
There's a ghost wolf in Ohio who got barraged by a fuckload of sharpshooters back in the colonial era
Hundreds of spectral wolves could be heard howling as he dragged his mate up the haunted hill before dying
To this day you can hear them in the night
>>44585686
There's a ghost in a plantation house who only appears to black people. She looks like a kindly old white lady who beckons you to follow her into the secret Underground Railroad. She's pretty benevolent and usually assists lost travelers. They say she still thinks she guides people yearning to breathe free.
>>44585686
>Also, anybody know the name of a plantation that is supposedly haunted by the ghosts of former slaves that were tortured, foricbly bred, murdered and subjected to all other sorts of horrible things during the 1800s. It's some where up in like kentuky or tenesee or missorui or one of those states. Not the LaLaurie house though, but similar.
Wut
>>44586321
Moth claws can't break steel beams
>>44586586
I heard a story like that. Some sick fucker used his slaves like a kid uses ants with a magnifying glass.
>>44586451
Ghosts are all over the South. Alabama especially is full of ghost tales.
>>44580862
Ohioans.
>>44586451
No that's not it. Did some looking around my house and found the book where I read about it in. A massive 500 page book of american horror stories and folk/tall tales of the scary variety. The name of the place is hickory hill. It wasn't quite as bad as I described (I must have mixed up parts pf the LaLaurie house and this one) but it was still pretty bad, for instance the owner, a Mr. John Hart Crenshaw kept slaves and free blacks he captured chained up in the attic as he waited to sell them. The attic could reach tempatures above 110° Farenhiet. And that's ignoring the forced breeding. All in all, not a nice place to be.
>>44585686
The stories I heard were never about aliens, they were supernatural. They said that the mothman is the spirit of an Indian chief from a tribe that was slaughtered after they attacked some settlers. With his dying breath he cursed the area of the Ohio River Valley and either came back as the mothman years later or summoned it. Wish I could remember what his name was.
>>44586672
I just read up on the lalaurie house. Reminds me of ww2 atrocities. Truly man is the most terrible of satans demons.
>>44586901
Never heard that before. I'll have to write it down. If you could try and rember the indians name that would be most helpful for future reasearch.
However that wouldn't explain the non-point pleasent sightings, like those at the twin towers.
>>44586959
I'm trying to remember, but it's been a few years. Just for the record, I'm from West Virginia and heard that version from WV state history teacher who had a fascination with the mothman.
>>44586266
The Southern devil embodiesAfrican and Native Americantraditions of a trickster god who will horribly fuck you over if you're an idiot but can be won over as a grudging ally if you outwit him. In Houdoun and in several Native American folklores, the trickster gods or crossroads gods (Coyote, Papa Legba) are the only keys to godly power, and guard them jealously.
Southern devil continues that tradition as a gentlemanly asshole who will rape your atoms with sunlight and gnats for all eternity if you forget to sign your name properly, but will give you a gold fiddle if you genuinely impress him.
>>44587823
>give you a gold fiddle if you genuinely impress him.
More like outwit him. The Devil hates your ass and basically exists to screw you over however he can, any person who deals with Ol' Scratch and comes out the better for it either tricked him or hasn't had the other shoe dropped on them yet.
>>44587920
No, that undermines the trickster persona. The only thing separating a Trickster from a Deceiver is honor. Coyote was a horrible asshole, yes, but if you beat him at his own game he would never renege on the agreement. Same with Southern devil.
And then you have irredeemable cosmic jackasses like pic related.
>>44587949
After having read roughly 40ish versions of that story I agree with loki. Odin was a self serving prick.
Also trickster gods ftw I love them in myths.
>>44586686
I don't know why we're so lousy with them. Ghosts in the houses. Ghosts in the street. Ghosts on the goddamn river.
Fuckin' everywhere.
>>44587949
To be fair to Loki the next step in that chart is almost always "make Loki fix it" which he usually did. In fact even in the stories where the problem wasn't his fault he usually saved the day, or at least helped out.
Have the Stikini already been mentioned? They're basically women that turn into man-eating owls at night, but before they transform they must first puke all of their organs out. Once these are all gone they hang them in the trees and go out to hunt people.
What's the best state and why is it Colorado?
More importantly, what's the worst state and why is it California?
>>44588232
Do they need to return for them or do they replace them with the mens?
>>44580862
If you mean supposedly supernatural beasts I guess the goatman. He is supposedly around my area and there are like 3 different ones in my state that have been seen.
And skinwalkers.
>>44586901
Wasn't that from the Mothman movie?
Floridian here.
Representing the Skunk Ape and the ghosts of marooned Spanish conquistadors. Skunk Ape's just some homeless retard who never bathes and the Spanish conquistadors are really just Cubans.
The more you know.
>>44588104
There are a few non-ghost creatures from Alabama. Of the top of my head is the Cat Man, your standard humanoid animal type, and the Wolf Woman of Mobile, who had the upper body of a human and the lower body of a wolf.
As far as the "pantheon" goes I'd probably nominate Lady Justice, Lady Liberty, Columbia, the Unknown Soldier, and a Satan analogue.
Maybe some intelligent eagles as messengers.
>>44579242
>like the Cattle Raid of Cooley on a cultural level?
Well, for ancient tragedy a la the Tale of the Children of Llyr, look no further than the Hatfields and McCoys. I read something like 60% of Anglo-American families have SOMEone involved on either or or both sides of the squabble. Myself included.
>>44580104
>>44580023
The Ghost Rider is an example in the modern literature of just such a pact. At least until we ran into the whole Zarathos thing.
>>44579941
>you will never live in the weirdest state and defend a strategically useless location with 1000 college students against over 6,000 trained soldiers in a twisted mockery of Thermopylae
Okay, I've never heard THAT one. Storytime, kind anon, I beg!
>>44579734
>These people had noisy sex while their kids, parents, and other relatives just tried to ignore it. One room houses and whatnot.
"When I was 'prenticed in Plymouth/ I went to see my dear/ the candles they were a burning/ the moon shone bright and clear"
>>44589454
>Hatfields and McCoys
I don't think people really understand the scope of that feud. It actually contributed to the modern American justice system in several ways, though mainly through extradition law.
>I read something like 60% of Anglo-American families have SOMEone involved on either or or both sides of the squabble.
It operated much like sports teams to my understanding. It isn't as if everyone in the United States is a direct descendant of a Hatfield or a McCoy. It's more the feud attained national prominence for its persistent brutality.
>>44579561
>>44579529
A brave man in a suit of armor, out to face the unknown for God and country? Sounds pretty folklorish to me.
>>44588662
>skinwalkers
I wouldn't worry about that anon.
>>44589912
I'M ON TO YOU!
>>44589702
Where is that spacers prayer pasta or pic when you need it?
>>44588270
they need to return them. They hang them in trees so the animals cant get to them
>>44590145
Here you go, anon.
>>44589509
They say in Texas that on some nights you'll see a bunch of spirit cowboys riding across the sky chasing something
>>44588248
My nigga
>>44579084
Like what? Tall Tales is about the only American folklore I know of,aside from new age stuff like UFOs and the Founding Fathers historiography.
>>44579062
So, people HAVE read American Gods, right?
Do burgers have certain heroic archetypes?
Europeans have the "strong man" who beats up monsters
Africans have the precocious "wonder child"
Native Americans had the "hero twins"
East Asians have legendary first emperors
>>44583604
Yeah, lived there for like. ..too many, since the 90's.
But yeah, I don't recall ever getting bad vibes from any of the missions, or the Herse castle. Though I never was at them at night, they're usually pretty well lit since they're big landmarks on the one.
The Winchester Mansion however, I've been there in the middle of the day and midnight, that shit's teh hainted. But, I didn't feel malice, just spewky. The sayance room being the most unnerving because of its bathroom tile feel and no windows. I dunno why but I have always had nightmares involving bathrooms, I guess that room just hit a nerve.
There's some roads way the fuck up north, I can't recall if HWY one or not, that had done really eery feelings at night, but nothing compared to 'Robbers Gorge' CO, that place is just death.
>>44592705
Wandering Cowboy
>>44590501
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mynzbmrtp9I
>>44586720
>Inventors of the drive through liquor store
How could you Anon!
>>44590375
based
>>44592924
Sounds mysterious
>>44592705
The drifter who wanders into town, guns down whatever is fucking with people, and rides off into the sunset
>>44593088
Why is it so popular? What does it say about the culture who gave birth to it?
It's easy to see why someone like Beowulf, Sigurd, or Thor would be popular with Germanic tribes for example
>>44592705
Ever play Fallout or watch a Spaghetti Western (or any western for that matter)
It's The lone wanderer.
The man who answers to no one but himself, he makes his way and fights his battles, and when he does decide to step out and help those folks who struggle around him he does so for himself, his principles, or his reward.
Think of Han Solo.
the Lone Stranger/Man with no name from the Fistful of Dollars "trilogy."
The driver from Drive.
The entire Hard boiled detective and Lone Gunslinger archetypes.
Maverick from Top Gun (to a lesser extent).
Bat Masterson
and the Countless frontiersmen like James Bowie.
I can't believe how little has been said about vampires.
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-great-new-england-vampire-panic-36482878/?no-ist
It's insane that it's so totally forgotten, since it was far more prevalent than witch burning in a far more recent period of time.
>>44593189
see
>>44593202
the lone wanderer is a "man's man" the maker of his own destiny. When push comes to shove he's the one who makes the final call. You should see how the heavy theme of self-determination is highly attractive to Americans.
>>44592705
I would say the recurrent heroic archetype in American culture is that of a lone hero whose actions are necessary to save society, but whose actions/nature also make it impossible for them to comfortably live in society, either because they can not accept society or society can not accept them.
Everyone is familiar with the Western hero who can't settle down and rides of into the sunset after saving the day, but it still survives in more contemporary settings as well.
The more watered down version of this which is more often used in settings where riding off into the sunset isn't really an option is the archetype of 'person who is so brilliant they are indispensable, but who nobody like because of x'.
>>44593202
>>44593285
In the case of Han Solo and most Lone Strangers from western movies it seems like they are mostly americanisations of the japanese Ronin as depicted by Akiro Kurosawa.
Well, atleast that´s my perspective. Bowie certainly didn´t act alone.
>>44590375
Thank you
>>44593592
It isn't an "Americanization" of any particular culture. Heroic archetypes of the loner persuasion exist in all cultures for the exact same reason - when everyone else is sick or old or too busy fixing the hut, the guy who goes out and actually hunts for food or scouts for new settlement locations is the most valuable person. He takes the most risk and generally receives a paltry thanks. The audience empathizes with the person who assumes responsibility for social safety or well-being despite the fact such vocations are generally risky or have very little incentive.
No culture owns any archetype. No country owns any story. It all springs from a human experience that's familiar with everyone because we all, despite what most cultural chauvinists would have you believe, descend from the same type of experiences.
>>44593285
>>44593487
It's a shame, because the "man's man" archetype is antithesis to American civilization as we know it, except in positions of authority. When you have a person who won't take any orders but their own, they can either be a leader or an outsider.
>>44593592
maybe, except the actual spirit of the mythos is different.
ronin are often portrayed as tragic souls who've lost their place, and are forced to wander because of unfortunate societal circumstances. A tragic tale of someone forced to leave the collective.
lone gunman types are usually portrayed as having made the decision to be alone, living by their own rules and generally ignoring society until they are forced to interact with it. A heroic tale of someone forging their own path.
>>44593736
>because the "man's man" archetype is antithesis to American civilization as we know it
No it isn't, dude.
Every election cycle is dominated by candidates of all races, sexes, and political positions portraying themselves as the humble outsider who wants to ride into town and "fix Washington." The Noble Outsider archetype is the most lucrative archetype for democratic Western societies because it appeals to the inherent frustration of public voting.
By contrast, the Wise Leader archetype is more appealing to societies who are inherently less democratic, since the quality of a candidate matters far more than the quantity of options.
And then at the bottom of the rung you have the Invincible Conqueror archetype, who heads every outland hellhole on the planet with brute strength and hilarious appeals to their own inherent perfection.
>>44593916
>Every election cycle is dominated by candidates of all races, sexes, and political positions portraying themselves as the humble outsider who wants to ride into town and "fix Washington." The Noble Outsider archetype is the most lucrative archetype for democratic Western societies because it appeals to the inherent frustration of public voting.
Perhaps, but those noble outsiders are shit out of luck if they don't get elected, and it's even worse when you consider the "plebeian" outsiders, those people who just have a hard time accepting authority of any kind and just can't work with society.
>>44579088
>are we gonna stay 1930 and previous, or can we recognize the modern contributions?
I'd say mostly pre-90's, but there's room for more modern stuff too, wouldn't be all that hard to make a lot of the modern Cryptid/UFO/Conspiracy stuff fit into an older era(or even some of the less technologically oriented Internet Horror concepts like Slenderman)
>>44579687
neat, this'd probably be the best way to handle an Americana setting, North America rebuilding in the centuries after a relatively mild Apocalypse(severe enough for modern civilization to collapse, but mild enough that information and artifacts of the glory days of America aren't all that hard to find, and Mankind will probably one day reach or even surpass it's old heights again)
>>44593736
its a longing for the way it used to be.
back when the west was just a huge expanse that no one owned you could just walk or ride out, claim some land, and live off of it. you were responsible for your own survival and safety.
also back then, if you buried some shithead trying to steal your horse/money/woman in an unmarked grave a few feet/miles from your home, chances are no one would care.
>>44579687
>Butt
>>44593979
There is no "outsider" in a democratic society, there are only varying degrees of political capital. Authority in any context is a personal evaluation every individual makes between perceived benefits and perceived risks. Someone who rejects authority is not a lesser person for doing so, and neither is someone who insists complete authority is the only way to do things right. Each individual has made a personal evaluation between the perceived benefits of authority and the perceived risks.
Someone who "just can't work with society" may be the herald of a new society. Social order isn't a constant.
>>44579595
Why the fuck is Minnesota on the map? How do the Japanese even know of us? Why do we have a giant water bird thingy!?
I am filled with questions!
>>44579062
Lizardmen are an official part of the american folklore.
Best thread on /tg/ right now, and I'm not even American.
To add to this thread, another US based myth I remember from reading a Hellboy story called "The Crooked Man" that explores Appalachian witch and devil ghost stories.
The Appalachians are Americas most mysterious region in terms of geography and settlements, and it;s inhabitants are mainly Irish immigrants. So one could blend in many Celtic myths/legends in it.
http://themoonlitroad.com/appalachian-mountain-culture-ghost-stories/
http://www.mythforum.com/threads/appalachian-superstitions.526/
Also I think one could also get inspiration from Lovecraft and Edgar Alan Poe, both emblematic writers of north-eastern Gothic America, where the cities get something from the "old world" while still existing in an alien and possibly grim Gothic environment.
>>44579595
And they say Americans can't into geography
>>44592815
>There's some roads way the fuck up north, I can't recall if HWY one or not, that had done really eery feelings at night
Probably because Northern Californian backwoods are pretty damn spooky, especially at night. There's a reason one of America's most famous piece of folklore is a monster who hangs out there.
On that note, anyone here ever actually encounter a Sasquatch or evidence of a Sasquatch, like footprints or night calls?
>>44594307
I thought I did, once. However, it was just another fa/tg/uy.
>>44593226
Americans fear and feel aroused by vamps
>>44579595
I like how alaska has an ice castle
>>44594422
We live in a country filled with lights to brighten the darkness and chase away the shadows. Little did we know we had merely invited them in.
>>44579732
Holy shit, an alternative history map that actually has a mormon in charge of the Rockies.
Color me impressed.
>>44594193
IIRC lots of Japs come over to view the Mall of America. Don't ask me why. I mean, it's cool and all, but nothing *that* special (thouth maybe growing up around the Twin Cities made it mundane to me).
>>44592815
>teh hainted
>spewky
>sayance
What the fuck are you talking about?
>acting like this is real
>>>/x/
>>44594557
My town is bumfuck nothing, but it has a sizable outlet mall so it's a common stop on foreign tours. The place is always packed with tourists from Europe and Asia, particularly China and Japan.
I get the feeling that for your average Asian citizen, America's shopping centers are their only firsthand experiences of the country if they have any at all.
>>44594557
Don't worry, I don't think it's anything special either and I live in a tourist trap in the north
>>44579732
>>44594555
It's good enough to be semi plausable, save for Amelia.
>>44594557
I grew up in a tourist trap of a town in the northern part of the state and I don't think the MoA is that special
Gravity falls did this to some extent.
>>44594678
I was shocked when they did the Hidebehind.
>>44594664
Yah I just saw that...........I also prefer her movie version more.
Not sure why
>>44593189
Because freedom. The ideal of Freedom is kind of opposed to the ideal of hard work, and the lone wanderer character is all the way to the extreme of freedom. Since most people lean in the direction of hard work, which isn't super fun, he's an aspirational character and someone we wish we were.
>>44594771
What? The Lone Wanderer personifies hard work. The Lone Wanderer performs incredibly dangerous tasks and gets very little in terms of compensation for them. The Lone Wanderer is the guy who saddles up and does the things nobody else wants to do.
How can you misinterpret one archetype so completely?
>>44594288
>The Appalachians are Americas most mysterious region in terms of geography and settlements
What? What makes them mysterious? They're a lot more known than the Cascades and other northwestern stuff.
>and it;s inhabitants are mainly Irish immigrants.
Really? There's a lot of scots there by my count.
>>44594745
Maybe that sexy sexy ass?
>>44594808
>The Lone Wanderer performs incredibly dangerous tasks
For himself
>The Lone Wanderer is the guy who saddles up and does the things nobody else wants to do
For himself.
The Lone Wanderer is individualist to an almost harmful degree, and any benefit he provides for others is ultimately incidental.
>>44594838
More people get lost in the Appalachian region than anywhere else save Alaska. Place is spooky.
>>44588813
Yeah. Apparently the Mothman was a spirit of vengeance. It didn't stop, and it loved to terrorize it's victims. It was a SyFy movie, but I liked it.
>>44594867
So you admit he's less free than the people he serves because he's bound by social contract to perform the tasks?
The Lone Wanderer personifies society's self-correcting nature and tendency. He is the antithesis of individualist - he's a slave to his own moral code (read: society's moral code) and exists solely to set things right within the culture he finds himself in.
He provides real, tangible benefits for others with no incentive other than his own personal fulfillment.
>>44594838
>They're a lot more known than the Cascades and other northwestern stuff.
And yet more people still go missing there than elsewhere.
Also, a fuckton of caverns and Spooky Shit in that area. Fuck New England, Appalachia is the real Lovecraft Country
>>44594870
Pretty sure that's just because east coasters are stupid.
>>44594771
How is The Lone Wanderer opposed to the ideal of hard work? If anything he personifies both hard work and freedom. He travels his own path and lives his own way through grit, determination, and the sweat of his brow, often taking on dangerous tasks for little reward. How does that oppose the idea of hard work?
>>44594940
>So you admit he's less free than the people he serves because he's bound by social contract to perform the tasks?
What? Any acts that the lone wander commits that coincide with those required by the social contract are expressly of his own volition, and not for serving society.
He is less a man, and more a force of nature that can talk.
>>44594838
I thought we were mostly Italian immigrants.
>>44595029
>>44595054
Because the American ideal of hard work is about providing for people. The lone wanderer doesn't even really work, he just lives.
>>44594808
None of the things you said really fit the ideal of hard work. Danger and death aren't really a part of it.
>>44595065
They aren't of his own volition. The social contract he operates under is equivalent to the society's he attempts to serve.
I actually said he personified society, you don't have to repeat that.
>>44594867
What? Are you >>44594771 because I fail to see any of what you're saying indicates that The Lone Wanderer is somehow opposed to hard work.
>>44579709
Actually if you look closely it kinda implied with the dangerous areas that the West hadn't regressed (Killerbirds are really just Airplanes)
>>44595078
Turns out appalachia is kind of big.
>>44595125
>They aren't of his own volition.
Then he isn't a lone wanderer! He's just a good citizen who care more about society than himself, and doesn't like being around others.
>>44595142
Nope.
>>44595117
You excise any risk from hard work? The risk of death and injury aren't, to you, the least bit indicative of a difficult task? The American ideal of hard work descends from Calvinist ideals of hard work, which wasn't providing for others so much as it was providing for God. "Hard work" was any task done well to glorify God. Danger and death are absolutely a part of it.
>>44595142
He's not me, but the American ideal of hard work isn't just "do hard work, doesn't matter to what end" it's "do hard work for your family and community". But it also means doing an "honest day's work", or a tiring thankless job.
>>44595168
>He's just a good citizen who care more about society than himself, and doesn't like being around others.
That is literally a Lone Wanderer.
>>44595196
That's just an introverted citizen! A Lone Wanderer is someone who doesn't give a damn about larger society one or another, but happens to be similar enough to larger society that he's not a problem. He's effectively a friendly/neutral foreign element.
>>44595243
No, it isn't. There are no coincidences in archetypes. The Lone Wander personifies, again, society's self correcting nature. His priorities are society's priorities, his values are society's values. The sole reason the Lone Wander is appealing at all is because he exists in stories where society's values and priorities have been damaged and he fixes them.
Argue semantics all you want. Name any Lone Wanderer character you can, his goals and priorities will always coincide with the goals and priorities of the society he attempts to fix or serve.
IDK if this was posted in the last thread. There are a lot of local myths and legends around america if you know were to look/ have an ear open for them. Here are some that I've come across.
Up in the rivers in/near Kentucky there are stories of Man-Eating-Catfish or at least Catfish big enough to swallow a man whole. My Grandfather told one such a story about these massive fish. Two divers are doing a routine inspection and maintenance check at the bottom of one of the damns (or bridge i cant remember which one it is). One of them notices in the distance what looks to be the trunk of a car slowly opening and closing in the underwater current. Fearing that somebody had driven off the road and into the lake, the pair swim over to investigate. As they get close to it, they realize its not a car, its the mouth of a gigantic catfish resting on the bottom.
There is also the story of Scrap Iron Jack. A legendary giant catfish that is said to have a mouth full of steel hooks from all the attempts to catch him. He is a real popular story around Cattlesburg.
Here are some Local SC legends.
Lizard Man - A Reptilian humanoid that terrorized local residents of Lee county.
The Gray Man- a ghostly apparition that appears patrolling the beaches of Pawleys Island warning beach-goers of impending storms.
One final story is a bit closer to me (locally). Lake Murry is an artificial lake created when Lexington Water Power Company (now SCE&G) built a Dam on the Saluda River in the aptly named Saluda River Valley. There was a small town along with a graveyard in the Saluda River Valley at the time that had to be relocated/evacuated when construction was complete. Many building and even an entire bridge now lay at the bottom of the lake along with the graveyard, or at least the bodies are as they only moved the gravestones. We used to tell ghost stories about people swimming in the lake at night being dragged to the bottom my the evil spirits that rest at the bottom of the lake.
>>44595196
Wrong. The Lone Wanderer is beholden to his own moral code which may or may not match up with society's. He's not a knight errant, he is not morally driven to seek out those who need his help, but when he sees things that go against his code he does what he has to do to fix things. No matter the what.
>>44595243
>>44595281
I would say that the idea of the selfish individual who has removed themselves from society and wanders is also a recurring archetype.
To the best of my knowledge neither of these archetypes have a formal name which makes this entire argument about semantics with no possible resolution.
So unless there's someone here who studied literature and actually knows of a formal name I suggest we abandon the argument.
>>44595189
There's also the ideal of gaining independence through hard work. It's the American dream, the idea that you can earn your own freedom through determination and effort. Work hard enough, be skilled enough and you can make your own way and provide for you and yours without relying on others. It's the frontiersman spirit. That's the sort of hard work The Lone Wanderer embodies. He doesn't just walk his own path, he blazes it through the strength of his spirit and will.
>>44594288
>>44594838
You're both sorta right. The Scots-Irish that largely settled the lower half of the Appalachian chain hail back to both. They were the Scotch protestant dissidents that were originally resettled in Ireland to (1) get them the fuck off The Big Island and (2) pave the way for the Anglicanization of Northern Ireland. As they hated both the Irish they were subjected to and the English who followed behind, they took their first opportunity to fuck off to the boundless wilderness of the New World. As the Irish immigrant waves rolled in, they were pushed back, until they went up into the hills of Appalachia and spent about two centuries creating a distinct culture, but one that hearkens heavily to its roots in Scotland and Ireland.
Come to Cherokee, and you'll see a lot of EBCI with red hair or blue / green eyes, from the centuries of interbreeding.
>>44580862
Wendigos, easily:
>>44551658
>yfw you have the fight an elder wendigo that's hundreds of feet tall, immensely strong always surrounded by a howling blizzard, and can only be killed by burning it to death
How did the people of not!Murka get there?
>>44586720
I was actually going to post this.
>>44595181
Well maybe it was phrased poorly initially. But risk of death is a kind of separate thing.
>>44589534
Tallahassee, Florida was the only Confederate capital east of the Mississippi not captured by Federal troops due to the efforts of a group of volunteers hastily rounded up from among the students at the nearby Florida State University. At the Battle of Natural Bridge, the volunteers (numbering roughly 1000 men), met the 2nd U.S. Colored Infantry and 99th U.S. Colored Infantry (numbering about 6000 men) at Natural Bridge, a spot where the Saint Marks River descends underground for a distance of about 200 yards before resurfacing on its way to the Gulf of Mexico. There, they fought the Union soldiers to a standstill at a cost of only three of their number killed. One Confederate reported described it as a “re-enactment of the Battle of Thermopylae.”
Fucking Florida.
I like the idea of a snipe (as in "sending someone on a snipe hunt" which is a prank you pull on people to make them wander around the woods acting like an idiot) actually being some kind of twisted mythological being.
>>44589534
There was also the Battle of New Market where VMI cadets, the youngest 15 fought Union regulars.
>>44597812
>Ctrl-F
>Dwight D. Eisenhower
>0 of 0
How can the greatest modern president not have been discussed
>>44597812
A group of volunteers from Hampden-Sydney College found some CSA unit. The commanding officer basically smacked them on the ass and sent them back to school.
>>44597911
We're not speaking of modern folks, they're not mythologized yet.
>>44583132
It's very odd that until "armed with old rifles" I could have sworn this was going to be a fedora post
>>44579160
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/how-floridas-proud-open-government-laws-lead-to-the-shame-of-florida-man-news-stories-7608595
>>44579374
Actually we hung our Witches in America.
An urban legend, popularized by "Ripley's Believe It or Not!" in 1931, claims that there is a curse upon the Presidency. This curse, variously known as the "Curse of Tippecanoe", "Tecumseh's Curse" and the "Zero-Year Curse", states that any President who is elected in a year ending in a zero (1840, 1860, etc.) will die in office or have a near miss. It was allegedly placed upon William Henry Harrison by Tecumseh's brother Tenskwatana during the Indian wars and the War of 1812, in which Harrison won two decisive battles against Tecumseh in present-day Indiana and Ontario
>>44586266
>he is even a man of his word
>implying the Devil is not a liar
You've been hanging around the wrong Southern churches
>>44598286
He's a man of his word, it's just that sometimes his definitions are different from ours.
>>44598286
>You've been hanging around the wrong Southern churches
depends on what flavor of fire and brimstone they're preaching that week. With the whole "gentleman with a tempting, seemingly reasonable offer" deal, the lie is in that it'll go well for you in any way shape or form...it's all about temptation and luring you in. Doesn't have to lie to tempt the flesh.
>>44598563
A half truth is a whole lie, anon
>>44579062
Don't know if anyone mentioned, but around here we have silly traditions like puxatony phil, the groundhog who predicts how long winter lasts, and weird shit about the amish
>>44595029
Pretty sure it's because there are millions of them. Also because they're stupid.
>>44586720
They are freaking terrifying, never go to that state under any circumstances. It's the horrible offspring of Florida and a drunk gun.
>>44588973
Your superhero is great
>>44598626
from a certain point of view
>>44599191
>>44599239
>>44599257
![[Forced Elf Intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/1g8heaj.gif "[Forced Elf Intensifies].gif")
>>44599385
>>44579687
> No Mississipi Delta Empire
I mean, what? That is pretty much the lifeline for a pre-industrial empire. Egypt and the Nile can get rekt.
>>44587920
Making a deal with the devil is already a cardinal sin, so win or lose the bet he's already got your soul.
>>44599551
Boom! Cahokia!
>>44593592
The Lone Stranger archetype not only predates Kurosawa in its prevalence in American culture by decades perhaps even a century, but is an entirely different character from the Ronin depicted in Kurosawa's movies. You couldn't be more off base. The thing that the lone stranger represents is a highly American idea. A character who embodies that which is self-determination and not the fatalistic kind of character that Kurosawa uses. If you're looking for an interesting Japanese depiction of/take on this archetype you're better looking at the heavily American influenced Cowboy Bebop and Spike Spiegel in particular.
>>44593592
You also clearly don't know anything about the mythos of James Bowie or the American frontier. Which makes me have to ask. Why are you here if you're just going to be a weeb and make completely unrelated comparisons to Kurosawa movies. That's the whole significance of the Man With No Name trilogy. It isn't just a reskin of Kurosawa's movies, it takes on a very different tone and the audience relates to the characters in very different ways.
It should be an idealistic setting, albeit with an emphasis on earning the happy ending. Burgers are among the most optimistic people in the world.
In terms of tone Russia would be Evangelion and America would be Gurren Lagann
>>44599615
it was only a sin to the Puritans and those who still believed in the "Puritan Work Ethic", because it represented an easy way out. as society moved west, especially with the Gold Rush, the impetus shifted away from hard work to getting lucky. a deal with the Devil became less about getting screwed by a contract and more getting a good flip of the card. dealing with the Devil was just another way to get what you wanted. it might backfire spectacularly, but so might everything else.
>>44600405
"Way I see it you're already going to hell for summoning demons and conspiring with devils. Might as well get some cool shit out of it."
-unnamed demon, empowerred, origins of sista spooky
>>44579590
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrslqILpDJw
>not posting folk songs
>>44603466
>implying the loading bar is full
UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA
FROM THE ATLANTIC TO THE PACIFIC
FROM ALASKA TO PANAMA
UNITED STATES OF THE AMERICAS
UNITED STATES OF TERRA
>>44604516
Soon.
>>44604560
UNITED WORLDS OF SOL
UNITED SYSTEMS OF HUMANITY
>>44604560
>meme magic makes Trump ascend to godhood
>Trump becomes Trumplos
>>44595296
Kentucky's own version of the Cantre'r Gwaelod?
Do bells sound beneath the lake?
>>44604560
AWAKEN MY MASTERS
>>44605658
No, more like South Carolina's. Lake Murray is in SC. Pic related is the bridge I mentioned earlier. I don't know about bells being heard under water though.
There are also a few B-25 wrecks on the bottom of Lake Murray. It's rumored that there are five wrecks total, two of which they have fished out. During WWII they used one of the islands for target practice (now called Bomb Island). One of my neighbors actually pulled up one of the practice bombs they used with his anchor. The Bomb squad had to come by and get it.
>>44604516
I can't wait!
All must bow down to the Might of America!
USA
USNA
USA
USE
>>44606016
Another Sonar pic of a house at the bottom of Lake Murray.
>>44599016
He's not, but we say he is because we're ashamed of him.
>Florida Man Delivers Heroin-Stuffed Burrito to Hospital
>Florida man runs off after masturbating and leaving behind clear human bodily fluid as well as pubic hair on sliding glass door and floor
>Florida Man Crashes a Dodge Challenger Through a Building Attempting to Time Travel
>Florida man stole butt plugs because he was too embarrassed to pay for them
>Florida man accused of punching child in face because of church tardiness
Bump
>>44606870
Didn't Florida Man crush his kid while playing vidya games?
>>44579732
>Parts of Missouri run by Kansas
Do you even Bleeding Kansas anon? No self-respecting border ruffian would ever surrender to a goddamn jayhawk.
>>44583257
>What is the Alamo?
>What is Little Bighorn?
>What is Wounded Knee?
>What is the Mexican American War?
Yup no shooting round here...
I remember asking my grandma as a little kids why europeans don't have as many ghost stories as americans.
She said
"Well think about it like this. America is pretty young compared to all those european countries. The europe is FULL of ghosts, but it's like when too many people try to get through a door at the same time, no one can squeeze through. The ghosts end up messing with each other more than people.
Now in America, the ghosts are lonely and bored"
>>44609971
Whenever these threads happen I am amazed that no one has read Skinner's Myths and Legends of our Own Land
>>44604560
>implying Donald Trump's Stand isn't D4C
